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#1: First Dance
Will Byers never expected to have an exciting love life. Or a love life at all. He never thought anyone would see him in that way, but he was very wrong.
Allison Moore was maybe the first person to ever show any interest in Will.
At first the Snowball was fine. Will had gotten relatively dressed up- so had the rest of the party, and Will was perfectly content with standing around, talking. He was perfectly happy when Max asked Lucas to dance, perfectly fine when Dustin spaced out from the world around them. Will was perfectly content standing with Mike just inches away in his gray sweater vest and red tie. Great, really.
Will wanted to ask Mike if he wanted to get some punch, when a girl with big round blue earrings and brown hair stepped up to them, smiling. Will recognized her vaguely- he thought she might be in Dustin’s English class- but he couldn’t place her name (it wasn’t until one of her friends called her over later in the night, that Will remembered she was called Allison). She was relatively popular, he thought, so he didn’t really understand why she’d be talking to them.
“Hey, Zombie Boy, you wanna dance?” Allison asked, straight forward, easily.
Will’s eyes widened. He immediately glanced at Mike for help. He hated that nickname, he’d been called it enough. “Um, I don’t- uh-” he started to formulate a rejection, but Mike hit his shoulder softly, giving him an encouraging look. If Mike thought it was a good idea, then he’d do it. Even if he didn’t want to. Was it weird that he didn’t want to? “I mean… I mean, yeah. Sure.”
Allison grinned. “Cool.”
It was probably one of the most uneventful nights of his life.
Dancing was awful. They kept stepping on each other's feet, and Will’s arms grew progressively more tired from where they sat on Allison's waist. Allison kept shifting her hands awkwardly on Will’s shoulders. She looked like she wanted to say something but she just kept quiet and smiled the entire time. Will was terrified that she’d try and kiss him, and thank god she didn’t. They danced for two songs, or for exactly 6 minutes and 23 seconds. Yes. Will had counted.
After the girl at the snowball, Will decided he never wanted to slow dance again.
That was literally the only thing Will learned from that experience. Everything else just backed up what he already knew. One, he didn’t like Allison Moore. Two, his chest didn’t start to flutter when he saw her, because Three, he didn’t like girls. Never had. Not one. Nada. Zip
Now he knew he hated slow dancing.
But, maybe, he realized later, that was just because it wasn’t with Mike Wheeler.
#2 First Kiss
Between the ages of thirteen and fourteen and a half, Will Byers’ love life was as dry as an unbuttered piece of crumbling bread. As everyone else, (and I mean everyone) got girlfriends and boyfriends and went on dates to fucking Starcourt Mall- Will was left in their dust, left to search around for the crumbs of old friendships. Crumbs of that incredibly dry piece of bread mentioned two sentences ago. Crumbs of his friendship with Michael Wheeler. Mike was an asshole to Will the Summer of Starcourt. But he’d apologized. Many times actually.
But that didn’t make the it's not my fault you don’t like girls any better. It made it worse. Because Will didn’t like girls. Before then he thought maybe he was just a late bloomer. But as he grew older and the sparks licked into flames, it was painfully clear to Will that he did have feelings for people. Just not girls. And the little somersaults his heart would do when he glanced at a specific guy were not normal.
He’d accepted that about himself quicker than many would. He knew deep down that it wasn’t wrong, and that he was the same old Will. But the world seemed to think it was wrong. And that sucked.
He had spent much too much time laying on his duvet, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for tears to dry on his cheeks.
One of the first things Will noticed on his first day at his new school, was that boys in California wore shorts to deal with the heat. They wore shorts a lot, actually. At first he wasn’t sure why exactly he cared. And then that became painfully clear too.
A week into school, he’d been sitting in English, and their teacher (a laid-back man in his late 60’s) had told the class they were welcome to have free time for the last fifteen minutes of class. Will had barely slept the night before, so he laid his head down on the cool wood of his desk. His eyes drifted around the room, to a group of girls talking in the corner, to a guy blowing pink bubblegum in the back, to the boy who sat next to him. To the boy’s legs. He was reading something and his legs were crossed comfortably at the ankles (Will noticed he had on mix matched socks). His knees were nobby, and had been scared over many times. Will’s line of sight drifted further, to where the dark fabric of the boy’s shorts had rode up over his thighs, revealing a strip of pale skin, a deep contrast to his tan. Will’s eyes almost drifted further, but he found his heart rate rapidly growing faster and his cheeks heating up. He hid his face in his hands, screwing his eyes shut tight.
Okay, yeah, shorts were annoying. And very distracting too, if you were in the middle of class.
California was also more… open than Hawkins. Not by much, though. One day during that same English class, Will had been repeatedly hitting his pencil against his desk, when he overheard a group of students’ conversation.
A boy named Archie laughed out loud. “A movie about queers? ”
That caught Will’s attention.
“Yeah, honest!” a different kid shot back. “My sister watched the first twenty minutes of it before realizing. The look on her face! Priceless!”
“Dunno what she expected, taking a movie suggestion from you,” Another cut in. “What was it called? Marline or some shit?”
“Maurice.”
The name swirled around Will’s head for the majority of the day. Maurice. See, Will had never been exposed to any queer media, whatsoever. He suddenly needed to get his hands on the movie. Not wanted, needed.
The next time he was at their local video store to grab some horror movie for Johnathan, Will had gone immediately to the M section of the romance aisle. Hm. Mannequin , Making Mr. Right… He half expected the movie not to be there, but there it was, in all its glory. His hands shook as he pulled it from the shelf. There was only one copy. The cover of the VHS displayed a watercolor picture of two boys sat atop horses- it was innocent enough looking, Will thought.
He payed for both his and Johnathan’s movies without making eye contact with the clerk.
Will considered himself lucky, for when he got home, the house was empty. Joyce had left a note explaining that she’d be back in a couple hours and to call, and Johnathan and Argyle were whoknowswhere. Will didn’t have a TV in his room, so he’d have to be careful.
He pulled the tape from the case, relishing the familiar squeal of the firm plastic against flimsy, and popped it into the player, grabbing the remote.
The movie started with the main character, Maurice, going to meet a friend (a superior? Will wasn’t paying much attention to anything other than the main plot) in his roomings, but was instead met with the smiley face of Clive Durham. As soon as the boy came into view, sat on the ground and surrounded by papers, Will sucked in breath.
He was undeniably attractive.
The two characters' development during the next twenty minutes of the film, quickly went from strangers to friends. With something else there. Will could tell even before Maurice began to run his fingers through Clive’s hair. That scene sent legitimate shivers down Will’s spine. He glanced around the room, hoping no one would come in and see the two boys on the screen with their arms around each other in an awkward hug, one that caused butterflies to swarm around Will’s stomach nonetheless.
And then Clive was telling Maurice he loved him, face flushed and hopeful, and Maurice was standing there, staring (and don’t talk rubbish), and Will’s heart practically buzzed at the blatency of it all.
Maurice snuck into Clive’s room that night, an apology for the hasty exchange of earlier, and pulled Clive into a hug. He then kissed him, quick and chaste, and left again. He had kissed him. Will had no right to be this excited, but then there was the scene in the meadow and he felt almost overwhelmed. Maurice kissing Clive all over his face, his jaw, his nose, his cheeks and finally on his lips, and Will took it upon himself to rewind. They were happy.
The movie was like nothing Will had ever seen before. It was amazingly put together and… even if Clive and Maurice weren’t together for not half of the film, even if it dealt with a great deal of blackmail, even if Maurice ended up with Alec, the groundskeeper (the hot groundskeeper), even if the ending made Will tear up a bit- it didn’t cease to give him a warm feeling in his chest.
For the first time Will realized there must be others like him out there. Like the boys in the movie.
He was almost grateful to those assholes for mentioning it.
Will hadn’t made very many friends in California, no one besides a girl in his art class named Eloise. He had actually fucked up and called her El more than once, even though the two girls were very, very different. Eloise spoke quickly and her knowledge of grammar was extensive, to say the least. She was bright and actually had a good sense of humor. Plus she had friends. A lot of ‘em, but only a few in art, which is why she had sat next to Will the first day. She had scarlet red hair and a nose piercing, and Will thought she was very cool. She was fun to listen to, too, and could paint just about anything, so she gave Will tips on mixing colors, and how to blend, and honestly? Will thought he could hang out with her for hours - she was so different then anyone he’d ever met.
Plus Will was pretty sure Eloise was like him. He couldn’t be sure, and couldn’t risk asking, but considering how she talked about her friend Madeline? It reminded him of how he thought of a certain person.
It was an overcast Friday in December when it happened. He’d been walking down the steps of school, his arms piled high with books. Argyle and Jonathan seemed to be late to pick him up. He sighed, shifting the books in his arms, and walked straight into something. No, not something, some one.
His stuff spilled everywhere and he cussed under his breath, glancing at the person he’d bumped into. The guy had a few inches on him, and Will recognized him from his biology class. He was Hispanic and kind of lanky, with glasses and an oversized denim jacket. His dark hair was a mess, it didn’t seem to know where to go. He was kind of cute. (More than kind of, Will, stop fucking with yourself).
Will realized he’d been staring. He quickly scrambled to begin picking up his books. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking-”
The guy smiled and shook his head. “Don’t apologize, it’s totally good.” He kneeled to hand Will his Civics textbook. Will shot him an appreciative glance as they both got to their feet.
“Thank you.”
The guy smiled. “No problem, soccer ended early so I don’t have to rush home or anything. You’re Will? The new kid?”
“Yeah, actually. You’re
( he knows my name he knows my name he knows-)
Jacob, right?”
Jacob seemed to brighten. He smiled. “Can’t believe you actually know my name.”
“Can’t believe you know mine.” Will chuckled a little.
“Well, I've heard a lot about you.”
Will's eyes widened. He froze. What if the rumors- what if they spread all the way here, what if…. “What do you mean?”
“Well I’ve heard at least five girls talking about how hot the quiet kid who joined mid-year is.” Jacob smirked.
Will felt faint. “Uh, what?” He ran a hand through his hair self consciously. “ Hot?”
Jacob nodded. “You don’t see it?”
“No!” Will practically cried. “How could this haircut be hot?!”
Jacob shrugged. “Maybe they like your face. You are pretty good looking.” He said it very casually but Will felt as if he’d been stabbed through the chest.
“Oh.” his head hurt. He could barely process the information he was getting.
“What, no one’s ever called you good looking before?” It might’ve sounded mean in another context but Jacob’s words were just curious.
“Well I mean, besides my mom… I can't really remember a time…” Allison Moore had certainly never complimented him to his face.
“Then I’ll be the first. Or second, your mother gets that privilege.” Jacob reached out and set a hand on Will’s shoulder. He looked straight into Will’s eyes. “You, the guy I just talked to for the first time five minutes ago; are attractive.”
It was ridiculous. Will burst out in a fit of silent laughter, his face burning. “Thank you, I guess?” He managed.
Jacob just grinned.
Will had sat next to Jacob in biology the next day, pleasantly surprised by Jacob’s ability to distract Will from thinking too hard about the seven body systems. Wait- were there seven? Or was it five? Or four?
Jacob kept making faces at the questionable wording in the textbooks Mrs. Kaplan had given them, and Will might’ve laughed a bit too hard at Jacobs exaggerated looks of disgust. Once class was over, they walked out together, chatting about some stupid assignment.
He’d have to run off to meet his friends for lunch a few seconds later, but Will appreciated the few moments he could listen to the colorful boy next to him talk.
About a week of talking on and off during class later was the day at the burger place. Ah, that fatal afternoon. He and Eliose had been out for milkshakes and fries, planning on doing the right thing and dipping the fries in the milkshakes. Eloise had been talking about her upcoming trip to Italy when Will first noticed Jacob standing in line for food.
Will’s chest went very warm for a moment. Jacob’s warm brown skin was dusted with freckles, and Mike had freckles, and oh shit, Mike. He had barely had the time to think about Mike. Jacob turned, his eyebrows raising when he noticed Will. He gave him a little wave and Will returned it before looking quickly back to his friend.
Eloise looked concerned. “Will, you good?” She asked, tapping his arm.
He nodded quickly. “Uh, yeah. Sorry.” He felt bad for spacing out on her, and cursed himself for being an idiot and getting distracted. “Sorry.” He mumbled again.
Eloise’s eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t worry about it, man. It’s not a big deal.”
Their conversation continued on the same path, but Will’s line of sight kept dragging over to Jacob. Jacob, who half the time seemed to already be looking at him. Sometimes he’d look away, and sometimes he’d hold eye contact and smile. When that happened, Will’s bones fell alight.
He glanced over for what was probably the 15th time, and Jacob held eye contact again. But this time he winked. He fucking winked and took a long sip of his milkshake, biting the tip of the bright red straw. Will’s eyes widened. His face suddenly felt very hot. He stood up. “Uh. I have to go to the bathroom.” He muttered. Eloise seemed really concerned now, and he couldn’t help feeling bad.
He located the bathroom and speed-walked over, eyes hooked to the ground as he locked himself in the small room, glad it didn’t have multiple stalls. He collapsed against the wall, pressing his forehead to the cool (and probably incredibly filthy) wall. He took a few deep breaths, trying to get himself together. Jacob didn’t wink, he was just smiling and being nice. You know this, you know this, you-
There was a knock on the door. “Accompanied!” He said out loud, rubbing a hand across his face. There was another series of knocks, and he sighed, walking over to pull the door open. “C’mon, can’t you just wait-” He began, but it wasn’t some old man holding in his pee outside the door.
No, no, it wasn’t.
Jacob a step into the bathroom. into the bathroom. He shut the door. He felt his face warm. “Hi,” He muttered.
Jacob reddened a bit himself. “Hey,” He said softly.
They stared at each other for a few seconds.
“Are you dating the girl you were with?” Jacob asked.
“No, no, definitely not. We’re just… just friends.” He waved his hands around a little while he spoke, as if to emphasize the point.
Jacob seemed to brighten. “Okay.” He brought his hand up to brush Will’s jaw, but dropped it almost immediately. Will could feel his heartbeat in his head. He could barely process what was going on, but he knew he liked the faint feeling of Jacob’s fingers on his face. “We’re on the same track, right?” Jacob asked. “You get what I’m, uh, putting down?” He looked nervous. And Will did understand.
He nodded. He couldn’t help himself from smiling a little. “Definitely on the right track.” Will felt dizzy.
(you are pretty good looking)
Jacob brought his hand to rest on the back of Will’s neck, this time not dropping it. He rubbed his thumb across the skin chastely, causing goosebumps to rise. Will shivered violently. He knew what Jacob meant by this, and he realized with a gulp that oh god, he wanted it. He’d never… done anything like this before, so he didn't really know what to do. He just leaned closer. He could feel Jacobs' breath on his nose. A hot feeling he couldn’t place
( desire)
struck his chest, and he swallowed it down harshly.
Suddenly their lips were pressed together in a firm kiss. It was unmoving at first, but then Jacob’s hands moved to the sides of Will’s face, running his thumbs across skin, and there was a hot pang deep in Will’s stomach. He acted on his first instinct, and began to tilt his head a bit, moving his lips in a way that seemed (?) correct. Jacob sprang into action then, backing Will up against the closest wall, and kissing him harder.
And holy fucking shit it felt good. Like really, really good. Will could see what all the fuss was about.
Jacob’s mouth drifted open, and Will was vaguely aware of this being some ‘next level’ stuff. He just mirrored what Jacob did, which was apparently the right thing, because warmth pooled in Will’s stomach as Jacob's tongue slid over Will’s bottom lip. He let out a breathy noise and Jacob muttered something illegible into Will’s lips. Jesus, it felt good.
Will crept a hand into Jacob’s hair, relishing how soft it was. It was a similar length as Mike’s, come to think of it, and pretty much the same color. Would Mike’s be this soft? He tugged at it experimentally, and Jacob gasped. Will was worried he’d done the wrong thing, but Jacob just clutched Will’s shirt tighter. Would Mike gasp if Will touched his hair like that? Would he like it? For a second Will let himself imagine he was kissing Mike, not Jacob. His knees felt weak.
They pulled away, breathing heavily. With a start, Will realized they were still in that burger place’s bathroom. And that Eloise was still outside. “Crap, uh, I should probably… probably go.” Will said apologetically. “My friend’s waiting. I’m sorry,” He ran a hand through his hair.
Jacob nodded. He smiled. “It’s fine. See you Monday?”
Will smiled back appreciatively. “See you Monday.”
They exited the restroom and Will sat down across from Eloise again, who gave him a look. “Making out in a bathroom is gross, William.” She took the last fry, smirking at him. “Not that I haven't done it.”
Will’s eyes widened. “How’d you-”
“You go to the bathroom in a bit of a tizzy-”
“Did you just say tizzy?!”
“-and Jacob from Bio follows you not two seconds later. You were in there long enough for your milkshake to melt completely-” She motioned to his glass, which was filled with a milky liquid instead of ice cream, “-so at least fifteen minutes. You come out blushing, your hair’s an absolute mess, plus your lips are, like, red. It’s not that hard to gather.”
Will sighed. “You caught me. Guess you know my big secret now.” He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. He’d never told anyone this stuff before. Eloise probably didn’t care, but he should’ve been more careful, fuck. He should’ve-
“What, that you and Jacob Fernández are fucking?”
“No!” Will cried out, horrified. “No, no, no- that I’m gay! And I am not fucking Jacob. ”
She smiled at him now, warmly. “Guess we’re in the same boat, then.”
“With not fucking Jacob?!”
“No!” Eloise swatted his arm. “With being gay!”
Nothing did happen between Will and Jacob. They hung out a few times, but as friends- they never kissed again. They never even brought it up. Will wasn’t sure why, but the energy from before was gone. He wasn’t necessarily sad about it. Part of Will was glad that was how his first kiss had happened, to get it over with. Glad it was with a boy.
But part of him might’ve wished it would’ve been with Mike Wheeler.
# 4 First Date
After Vecna, when they returned to Hawkins high mid-sophomore year, there were boys. Hawkins actually wasn’t as… normal as Will had assumed in the first place. There were people who were like him, and finding them began to grow easier. There was Marcus from the track team, there was Leo from Home Ec, and Julien from AP art. In the bathroom next to the science block, the one that no one uses due to the chemical smell (the smell that Will found gets overridden when your lips are pressed to someone else's). In the old janitor’s closet, in an empty classroom in the east hall, in the locker room after Gym.
It was just the three of them, not counting that time when the guy he’d had pressed up against the wall (seemingly enjoying having the life kissed out of him, his hands pressed up the back of Will’s shirt) suddenly threatened to “- tell the entire school what you are,” and Will had to take the practically blackmail route and pull the “ Yeah, but you also kissed me for a full fifteen minutes before deciding to pull that card, and who are they gonna believe, that loner who smokes too much weed or the nice guy everyone likes from AP art?”
The boy had walked out in a pink shame and kept quiet, and Will had walked out behind him, also in shame but this time just for kissing such a disgusting guy’s lips.
They were quick kisses between classes, fuller makeout sessions during free periods, hushed promises to keep quiet and small smiles between flushed faces. It was never, never more. But Will was friends with them. He did a full two-month long collage project with Julien, baked bread more times to count while joking around with Leo, and had met Marcus when he joined track himself. And he was always friends with them after their couple month-long ‘flings’ ended, too. It wasn’t awkward, Will began to grow good at making things as un-awkward as possible.
It was never romantic. There were never any feelings involved. And that was okay, because Will really couldn’t physically fall in love with any of them.
The Party did not know anything about these endeavors. The only one who even knew Will was gay was El. He had a feeling that Max had a feeling, but as far as he knew, Dustin, Lucas and Mike were totally in the dark.
Mike. The reason he could never really fall in love with any of the boys he made out with. The reason he never would. The reason he’d never- no.
(He always tried to shake these thoughts away once they’d penetrated his head. He would now, too.)
See, the party was focused on something else for Will. A girlfriend. Because Will Byers had never been on a date. He was four months away from being seventeen years of age, was more than a quarter of the way through his junior year of highschool, and the farthest he’d gotten was making out with guys in storage closets. Maybe his tongue was skilled, but as far as social skills were concerned, Will was in the dark.
Besides, why would he want to date a girl ?
But the Party was persistent. Lucas had Max, and even though more often than not they were bickering, they were a perfect match and they knew it. They always stuck up for each other and Lucas never failed to make Max smile. Dustin had Suzie. Somehow they’d kept in contact, somehow, and their “Wednesday Afternoon Radio-dates” on Cerebro, turned to “Literally as much as I can be away from everyone, I’ll call you, Suzie-poo.” (yes, the nicknames were still a thing, it was the bane of Will’s existence, he thought).
Mike… El had broken up with him, Freshman year, just as everything with Vecna had started to really go down. After California, Nevada, Utah, and once they were finally back in Hawkins, preparing for battle, El had made a point to let Mike know that she didn’t need him. Going against all the words of comfort Will had given him in the van. And they’d broken up, just like that. Will still didn’t know why the Party wasn’t persistent to get Michael a girlfriend. They kind of just left him alone on that front.
He didn’t think it was fair. Will thought it was fairly obvious he didn’t have an interest in girls. But the Party must’ve thought otherwise. Now, for example, the Party was sitting at their usual table table, Lucas’s eyes narrowed as he surveyed the room. They widened suddenly. “Hey! What about that girl- whatsername… Martha Albertson? She’s pretty and I think she likes art, right?”
Will groaned. “Martha is such an old lady name,” He grumbled. “But yeah, she’s good at watercolor.” he agreed. “I sit next to her in APA sometimes.”
“Ask her out then!” Dustin cried, exasperated. “Right Mike?” He asked, turning to the boy beside him. “Will should ask Martha out, right?”
Mike looked up from his homework. “Oh. Yeah. Right. He should do that.” He muttered, dipping his head. He sounded painfully uninterested. He always was when it came to Will’s love life.
Mike had been, to say the least, w eird. Will thought he, the one with the feelings, should be the one acting weird, but Will was as normal as he’d allow himself to be. Mike on the other hand- was not. Nothing was like before. Before, Will told Mike everything. Mike held him when he had nightmares at their many-a-sleepover, and would then turn the light on to read comics together, Will’s head rested firmly on Mike's shoulder.
Now, Mike wouldn’t be caught dead at a sleepover with Will. No, that was no short of ghastly. Almost as bad as fruit on pizza, spending time with Will was.
Maybe that was an overstatement. Maybe Will was exaggerating. Mike wasn’t mean, no, no, of course he wasn’t, he was never really mean, but… He wasn’t the same. He and Will barely spent time together outside of school, and when they did, it was with Lucas or Dustin or Max or El.
Will couldn’t remember the last time they’d really talked.
Like, really talked.
Mike was weird around him. Will had tried asking him to hang out, he really had, but at some point it was obvious that Mike was making up excuses. He always seemed to get nervous when Will talked directly to him, he couldn’t even make eye contact.
It pissed Will off, but he was also sad. He missed Mike. He missed him so, so unbelievably much.
“Will, just do it.” Lucas commanded snapping Will back to reality. “Period.”
“No, no way.”
“Please, Will. I promise you’ll love having a girlfriend.” Dustin added, grinning. “Suzie always understands my spewing of bullshit and takes it even more endearingly than the rest of you!”
“Yeah!” Lucas agreed. “Well, Max doesn’t take my spewing of bullshit very well, but that's besides the point.”
Mike just snorted.
“Please guys, it’s not the biggest deal-”
“But Will -”
Will finally agreed, if only because it would get them off his back. “But if it doesn’t work out, stop prodding me about this, promise?”
They promised.
So that was how Will was stuck waiting near Martha’s locker after art. She smiled at him as she walked up. “You said earlier that you wanted to ask me something?”
“Uh, yeah,” How was he supposed to do this anyways? “How are you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Good, Will. How are you?”
“Ah, I’m okay. Um.” He paused. “Do you wanna go to the movies with me tomorrow?” He asked, cringing at how stiff he sounded.
Martha’s eyebrows widened in surprise. “Yeah, sure. Just hanging out, right?” She specified. Will had never shown any interest in her.
Ah Jesus. “No, um. Like a date?”
“Oh, really?” She furrowed her eyebrows.
“Mhm. Yeah.” Please say no please say no please-
“Yeah, okay, that sounds fun.” She still looked partially confused. “What time?
So that was how Will got stuck waiting outside the movie theater, because his date was late. There was no way he wanted to do this. Hopefully it would just be like hanging out with a friend, and then Will could let her down slowly (if she even liked him at all). He was wearing a pale yellow button up over a white t-shirt and jeans. He looked nice, he hoped. The party had freaked out when they had heard Martha said yes, and Will couldn’t keep track of all the tips Dustin and Lucas had given him.
“Will?” a voice questioned, but it wasn’t Martha’s. It was that of a brown haired boy named August, Martha’s brother, who was older by a few months. Martha had introduced him to Will once after art class. All Will knew about him was that he was in the school’s bluegrass band and played acoustic guitar really well.
“Oh, hey.” Will smiled at him. “August, right?”
“Right you are.” August smiled back.
“Uh, are you dropping Martha off, or…?”
“Oh, uh, Martha’s not here.” He looked around awkwardly. “Just me.”
Will furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“She kind of assumed you wouldn’t want to go out with her,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “She knew it was something your friends kind of… forced you to do.”
Will winced. “Yeah, well. I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t’ve… y’know.”
“I know more than you think,” August muttered. “I get it. I’ve gone out with too many girls I haven’t really liked. She takes no offense.”
“Good.”
“I mean, I’ve never really gone out with a boy before either.” August laughed awkwardly.
“Are you…” Will trailed off, cursing himself for taking stupid risks.
“Yep.” August sighed. “I’m taking it you are too or she wouldn’t’ve sent me.”
Will groaned, subtle anxiety creeping up his spine. Be less different, Will, act less- be less- “I dunno how she found out. I swear to god, I gotta be more careful or I’m actually gonna get hate crimed.” He knew it wasn’t something to joke about.
“I think my sister thinks I’m automatically gonna like any other guy who's into guys. But that’s not how it works, is it?” August rolled his eyes. “No offense, but I’m into the freckled type.”
Will choked on a laugh. “Your type is just guys with freckles?!”
“Yep,” August sighed. “It’s quite tragic.”
“I think mine might be too,” Will said faintly, rubbing his forehead. “I’ve liked the same guy since, like, kindergarten, I swear. His freckles are like stars, not to be cheesy.”
“I think I’m in love with the bassist from my band,” August said dramatically. “He has a shit ton of freckles.”
“Hm, a bassist. Sounds hot.” Will raised an eyebrow. “So d’you still wanna go on that ‘date with a guy’? To get it out of the way?” He asked.
August beamed. “Course. Couldn’t say no to that perfectly unfreckled face, could I?” He winked.
Will laughed.
He was glad his first date had been with a guy he’d had a good time with. But he couldn’t help from wishing it’d been with Mike.
#4 (?)
It was nearing the end of Will’s senior year when it happened.
The Party had all gotten into colleges around the US- Lucas and Max were going to USC, Dustin had gotton into MIT (unsurprisingly, as he’d excelled at school the past couple years), and El to community college near Hawkins, wanting to stay near Joyce and Hopper.
And Will and Mike? New York.
They’d been planning to go to college together since elementary school, and it was finally happening. Pratt Institute, Will for the visual arts, and Mike for creative writing and English. It was everything Will could’ve hoped for- minus a few details . But he couldn’t afford to be petty, could he?
Mike and Will were shouldered against each other, leaning against the hood of Mike’s car, sharing a bottle of something or other. Mike had driven the party up to a campsite for their last spring break, and it was their last night on the trip. Will had wanted to watch the sunset, and Mike had joined him.
Dustin, El, Lucas and Max were roasting marshmallows by the campfire at their campsite, which was behind a patch of trees that shielded their view of Mike and Will and muffled their voices. Dustin was screaming something about how inexcusable Max’s incredibly burnt marshmallow was, and Lucas was in the process of setting his own alight.
By the end of eleventh grade, Will and Mike’s friendship was more on and off than anything, better than earlier in the year, but not by much. Sometimes it was relatively normal between them, laughing and joking like usual, and sometimes, sometimes Mike was cold. That was the only way to put it.
But when school started back up again for their senior year, something must’ve switched. He didn’t know what, but Mike began to warm up a little. Enough for Will to bring up their old college plans, and for Mike to immediately reply with a yes . Enough for them to go back to having their usual weekly sleepovers, the ones where they talked late into the night, sometimes even until dawn, or until Jonathan or Nancy would have to yell at them to go to sleep.
Pretty quickly, they were mikeandwill again, not Mike and Will, but a single unit. They hadn’t been mikeandwill in so long- it hurt in Will’s chest to think about the before times, but there was no use in bothing with the past when it had already happened. Will was just happy to have Mike back, finally. Happy to have his best friend back.
Will was a little tipsy, though he wouldn’t admit it. Mike had it worse, though they’d had the same amount- Will had always been able to take alcohol better, though he drank it much less. Mike looked nice though, the syrupy light dipping down across his whiskey flushed cheeks, complimenting his freckles. Will let himself stare- he’d been letting himself stare a lot more recently.
“Hey, Mike?”
“Yeah?” Mike’s voice was nice to listen to, Will thought. It was not very deep, something the party teased him for very often, but it had a gravelly feel. Mike continued to stare off into the distance.
“You’re nice looking, you know that?” Will muttered, without thinking.
“I am?” Mike seemed genuinely surprised.
“Yeah. You are.”
“Oh. But you… you’re the one who four girls have asked out in the past year- you’re- you’re the nice looking one.” Mike stared at his hands. Will felt his cheeks warm. “Not me.”
Mike was right in the fact that four girls had asked Will out in the past year (five, actually, but Mike didn’t need to know that). Will said no to each and every one, outright. He sometimes felt bad, but it wasn’t like he felt like dating a girl. Junior year Dustin and Lucas would’ve freaked the fuck out at the prospect of so many girls asking him, but now everyone was used to it. Will wouldn’t be surprised if they knew he was gay.
But… Will didn’t think he was very nice looking.
“Well then, screw girls.” Will said, his stomach thrumming with butterflies. “ I think you look nice.”
Mike’s head shot up. “Yeah?”
Will nodded. “Yeah.” what was he doing-
“But I’m- I’m so lanky, I have freckles everywhere- plus I swear I look like I’m sick half the time and this nose-” Mike waved his hands around helplessly.
“You’re elegantly tall, Micheal.” Will said, tossing his hair and making a dramatic gesture in the air. “You don’t look sick at all. And your freckles- they’re kind of like stars, if you think about it.”
Mike snorted. “Burning piles of gas and chemicals. Might as well be zits.”
“I meant it in a good way.”
“Sure. Stars sparkle, don’t they? Sparkles equal glitter… I could totally rock glitter.”
“Hot.” Will said dryly.
Mike faltered a bit. “Yeah.” He looked down.
There was a pregnant pause. Will took another sip of the whiskey and winced as the fiery liquid slid down his throat. He didn’t drink much, despite the tolerance he had for alcohol. Reminded him of his father… but with Mike-? Mike made him forget about that sort of stuff. He felt comfortable drinking with Mike, knew ( hoped ) Mike wouldn’t let them do anything potentially hurtful to themselves or others.
“Will. I was thinking.” Mike started.
“You’re certainly good at that.” Will deadpanned.
Mike rolled his eyes. “I mean, I know we talked about this when we were kids, but now that we’re really into Pratt… do you wanna maybe room together?” He seemed nervous.
Will’s eyes widened. “Yeah- Yeah, yeah, I mean, sure. definitely.” He smiled at Mike, who grinned back. He had a specific crooked front tooth that showed when he smiled widely, and Will thought it was quite endearing.
“We can figure out the official stuff later, but… I thought I’d ask now.”
Will nodded. “You know I’d say yes.”
They sat in silence for a long second, before Will passed the bottle to Mike. Mike took a deep sip, choking a bit on the whiskey and spewing it over his shirt. “Shit.” He mumbled.
Will laughed softly. “Shit.” He agreed. “Hey, look- the sun's about to set,” He pointed out. “If you catch it at just the right time, you can see a green line across the horizon… remember when Mr. Clark taught us about that?”
“I do, actually.” Mike continued to wipe at his shirt. “I just don’t wanna go blind before I turn twenty.”
Will laughed, taking another sip.
“Will?”
“Yeah?”
“I have a question.” Mike’s voice trembled on the words, and it was obvious he was past the point of buzzed.
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you date?”
Will sighed. “Why don’t you?”
“Because I haven't found the right person yet,” Mike looked away. “Or maybe I have, they just don’t… feel the same.”
Will raised his eyebrows, intrigued, but his stomach beat with a familiar anxiety. “Same reason, then.” He whispered.
“Yeah? Who’d you like?”
“Who do you like?” Will shot back, butterflies thudding against his ribcage. Mike was silent. “Exactly.” Will took another sip of the whiskey, passing it back to Mike.
“Well, this person… they’ll never like me, that's for sure.” Mike mumbled, fiddling with the neck of the bottle.
Will felt the same pang of jealousy in his stomach. “How’d you know that?” He asked quietly. “Are they with someone?”
“No.” Mike still didn’t look up. “Not as far as I know.”
“Are they just super dating adverse?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then why-”
“I don’t know, Will!” Mike cut in angrily. Will flinched, and Mike’s expression immediately softened. “I’m sorry, okay?” He reached forward to place a hand on Will’s shoulder. Will subconsciously leaned into it. “There’s a very specific reason why they wouldn’t like me. And it’s too complicated to describe.”
Will’s brain raced through the possibilities. “Try.”
“That's besides the point!” Mike argued. “The point is, I’m not- they’re- they’re too good for me. Always have been.”
No ones too good for you.
“Describe them.”
“I don’t know. Nice. Cool. Funny.” Mike was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, a nervous habit of his, and Will wondered why he was really nervous in the first place.
“The most bland adjectives you could’ve chosen.” Will rolled his eyes. “ Are they bland?”
“No!” Mike exclaimed. “Not at all. The opposite really. I’m just… bad with words.”
“You’re literally going to major in creative writing.” Will shot back, crossing his arms. He felt a little dizzy, and was not sure if it was from the alcohol or not, but between them they hadn’t even drunk half the bottle yet, and Mike the majority anyway.
He knew this was gonna happen. He knew Mike wouldn’t be single forever, either. It really started to hit him, then. Mike liked someone. Shit. Something panged in Will’s chest.
“Whatever…okay, well,” He started again, closing his eyes as he spoke. “They’re kind. I know that’s stupid but they’re the sweetest person I know.” Will didn’t let himself snag on the use of they and not she. “They always know how to make people feel better… and they’re super bright, kind of like the sun- but in a good way. I don’t care if it’s cheesy. And… And they’re pretty,” Mike’s lips turned up a little as he said it, but his voice shook. “ Really pretty. And their laugh…” he shook his head. “I don’t even have words.”
Will stared at his knees, digging his nails into his palms until the skin stung. He suddenly needed to cry. “Oh.” He smiled shakily. “She sounds nice. Really nice.” H e stopped himself there.
Mike stared off into the distance, biting on his lip. “Yeah… They’re amazing.” He looked towards Will again. “Your turn.”
“What?”
“Tell me about them. The- The girl you like.”
“Oh.” Will sighed. “They’re… it feels like I’ve known them forever, when we talk it’s like we’ve known each other since we were old enough to stand up straight.” Feels like. Yeah, right, Will. “They’re funny- but like, in a kind of snarky way, and they do this thing when they’re annoyed where their nose wrinkles and the side of their lip turns up, and it’s really cute.” Will smiled softly down at his hands. “And their eyes…” He trailed off. “Yeah. They’re great.” His mind was beginning to cloud.
“Cool. I’m glad you… have someone.” Mike’s voice was starting to get shaky, severely affected by the alcohol. He sent Will a small, unsure smile. “What do they look like?” Will was glad Mike didn’t ask directly, but the conversation was getting into dangerous territory now.
“Uh.” God, what could he say? Without giving it away? “They’re not… not short.” He couldn’t say tall. “They have freckles, I think,” You think? “They have uh, long-ish dark brown hair. They’re really nice looking.” ( You’re nice looking, you know that?)
There. If he was fucked, he was fucked.
Mike stared at him. “So they’re not in the party.” He looked down. “I mean, actually, the only party member that would be an option would be Max, and she’s with Lucas, so- obviously.”
Oh my god Mike was such an idiot. Will didn’t know why they were doing this, he should’ve changed the subject ages ago- “Yeah, not- not Max. Or El, that would be gross.” He added in the last part hastily, making a face. El was his sister.
Mike was obviously deep in thought. “I mean, the only person I could think of would be that girl… What's her name? Olivia? From math?”
“No, not at all,” Will laughed nervously, but he had definitely noticed the resemblance she had to Mike. “What about the person you like? What'd they look like?”
His attempt to change the subject must have worked, because Mike began to speak again, “Well. They have light brown hair- it looks soft. I think it’d be soft.” His voice cracked. “They’re like… kind of ripped, actually- they’re way stronger than me , definitely.” he laughed a little. What girl did they know who was ripped? El was stronger than Mike, but she wasn’t buff, not in the slightest.
Mike continued. “I said this already, but their entire… presence is just so… warm. I think if I kissed them they’d taste like the sun.” Will noticed the tremble in his lips, the way he stared at the ground, sure signs of tears to come. “I think they’d taste like the sun.” The way he said it sent shivers down Will’s spine.
Mike hid his face in his hands, muffling the sob that came next. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”
Will immediately wrapped his arms around Mike, not even thinking about doing it first. “Don’t you dare apologize.”
Mike’s arms curled around Will’s waist, fingers clutching at his skin like Will would let go within seconds, like he didn't want Will to let go. So Will didn’t. “Will, I need to tell you something. I know… I know you might think this is weird ,” He started, voice just above a whisper. He didn’t sound tipsy anymore, just nervous. “But…”
“ I’m gay. ” Will interrupted before Mike could finish spewing whatever bullshit he had to say. Mike froze, and Will pulled out of his grasp slowly. He wasn’t panicking, not as much as he thought he would, and his voice was firm and as calm as he could keep it. “I thought I should tell you, before… before college. Uh, I get if you don’t feel comfortable rooming with me, but… I hope you think that’s okay,” He tried on a timid smile.
Mike stared at him like he had just told him his mother was a stripper. “So the person you like. They’re a boy?”
“Correct.” Will said quietly. “ He’s a boy.”
“And… He’s…”
Will could almost see Mike piercing the pieces together in his head, and winced. He shouldn’tve given so many details- Mike wasn’t an idiot. Fuck.
“He’s… he’s gay too?” Mike finished timidly, and though it was phrased like a question, his tone of voice said otherwise.
Will’s head shot up, confused. “What? No. No, no. He dated a girl.”
Mike ducked his head, his hair falling over his eyes. “Gay guys can date girls, Will.” He said finally.
“I know they can. But he… really liked her, I think.”
“He’s gay too.” Mike said again, more firmly, and Will was sure of it this time. It wasn’t a question.
Will’s head went foggy for a moment. It felt like someone had reached into his chest and gripped his heart, nails digging deep into the arteries and veins and making it painful to breathe. “What?” He responded, voice weak. “How’d- how do you know?”
“I’m… it was easy to put together, I guess.” Mike breathed, and Will knew he wasn’t wrong. “I mean, longish dark hair, tall, freckles… Will, I mean, I’m not an idiot.” Mike wasn’t an idiot.
“Oh. Okay.” Will tripped over the two words, and they came out choked and almost vile sounding. It was as if the hand gripping his heart had moved up and was now at his throat, pinching the vocal cords, while his heart sat heavy in his chest, bleeding into his lungs, filling them with thick, sticky blood, and making it impossible to breath. Shit shit shit shit shit- he felt like he was going to pass out.
“Will.” Mike interrupted, smiling softly, but concern laced his lips. “Don’t freak out on me,” He was smiling and… why was he smiling? Will thought through the haze. And then realized what Mike had said, literally seconds before. Oh.
He’s gay too, he’s gay too, he’s gay too, he’s gay too he’s gay too-
He’s gay.
Oh. Oh.
“Will, I’m-”
“You’re gay?” Will breathed.
“Yeah. Very much so.”
“But you- you’re- you and El-” He spiraled. “How?”
“I dunno how, is it like you do?” Mike deadpanned, but it was as if he couldn’t keep the smile off his lips. “Me and El… we mutually agreed we wouldn’t work out. And Will?”
“Yeah?” Will’s body was trembling.
“You were probably one of the biggest reasons.” It should’ve made Will guilty but the feeling that fluttered in his stomach overcame that. “I couldn’t keep on with her, not with you right there. Because you… I couldn’t keep my eyes off you , and El… El knew that.” That means-
“That’s- I mean-Mike, I-”
He felt a soft pressure against his mouth, cutting off his sentence. The feeling was nice, kind of warm and- oh shit Mike was kissing him.
He was being kissed.
Mike pulled away and Will’s brain almost short circuited- the kiss had lasted barely two seconds, just long enough to him up. The air between them might and well have been electric, with the way Mike was looking at him. His warm brown eyes were big, his cheeks were flushed- not from the chilly day or the alcohol this time, and his lips were parted slightly, as if waiting for him to respond.
“Was that okay?” Mike breathed.
The only thought in his brain cell-less mind was mike just kissed me, mike just kissed me, michael wheeler is gay, he’s gay and he just kissed ME.
Will needed to get his lips back on Mike’s. Immediately. So, instead of responding, he launched himself forward, grabbing Mike's collar, and almost sighed in relief once their lips were pressed together again. Shit, it felt good. Mike kissed back with a fervor unlike any of the others Will had kissed before. His mouth was hot and even if the kiss was relatively closed-mouthed, Mike lips somehow knew how to do the right thing to send warmth pooling in Will’s stomach.
They pulled away much too soon for Will’s liking, and Will was hit with the reality of the saturation. It hit him so hard, in fact, that he almost stumbled back with the weight of it.
“Jesus Christ.” He breathed, trying wildly to catch his breath, trying to recover from what had been the best kiss of his life.
Mike. Mike liked him. Wait, did Mike like him ?
“Yeah,” Mike’s pupils were dilated and his cheeks were flushed, a deep contrast to his sea of freckles. He was pretty as shit. “Jesus Christ.”
“Uh. You like me, right?” Will asked, voice shaky.
Mike stared at him. “No Will, I just kissed you because you’re a really good friend.” He shook his head, grinning. “Of course I like you,” He reached forward to brush a hand against Will’s jaw. Will wanted so badly to kiss him again. “Of course I like you, Will.” He said again, quieter.
Will felt his lips turn up in a smile as elation flowered through his chest. “Oh. Good.” His hands were shaking and his face felt like it was burning off and it wasn’t exactly comfortable, but he didn’t care.
“What did you think, there was another pretty guy who reminded me of the sun?”
“You think I’m pretty?” I remind you of the sun?
Mike laughed, his eyebrows creasing together in the way that Will liked. He looked down, kind of shy-like. “Yeah. I do.”
Will grinned, confidence bubbling back up in his chest. “I think you’re pretty too,” and before Mike could say anything, he’d grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug. “And your freckles remind me of the stars. I meant it,” He whispered. Mike pulled away slowly, grinning at him softly.
“Can I kiss you again?”
Will leaned forward and did just that. Mike kissed back immediately, laughing into his lips. Will loved his laugh. He pushed closer, clutching at Mike’s waist, and Mike’s hands snaked around his biceps, whispering “ Jesus, you’re strong ,” into his mouth. Will's head went foggy for a second, pleasure hitting him right in the gut at Mike’s words.
Will slid his tongue against Mike’s lower lip, and Mike whispered oh shit, Will- and Will felt a tug in his gut, making his already hot face flush heavier. Will kissed him desperately, pouring all the years of hopeless pining into this one kiss. Mike’s mouth was all over his and so was his tongue and it was so good-
Will just about let himself forget all the skills he’d acquired, and let himself be taken over by the desire that plagued his insides. Almost. He pushed Mike against the hood of the car, hands finding purchase on the cool metal.
Desire poked at his stomach, and he grabbed tighter at Mike’s waist, grinding his hips into Mike’s firmly. Fuck. His eyes closed at the feeling, and Mike made a throaty sound against his mouth , which needless to say, turned Will the fuck on. He did it again, savoring the feeling the friction brought him, and the sounds it drew from Mike.
Will- his subconscious pestered him, and he pulled away slightly. Mike tried to follow his lips but he didn’t let him. “Mike.”
“ Will .”
“We need to stop, Mike. Or I do.” He said, rather dejectedly. “Not here, at least. We’re literally on a car and our friends are right there, and if we keep going…” he trailed off.
Mike’s already crimson cheeks colored. “Oh.”
Will glanced down. “Yeah.”
“Sorry, I’ve never… I haven't kissed anyone since El. So since I was, like, fourteen. Let alone… made out with anyone.” He looked back up at Will. “It felt really fucking good,” he breathed.
“Yeah, your dick seemed to think so too,” Will teased, and Mike went even redder.
“Will, you’re vile,” He groaned, shutting his eyes tight. “Where did you even learn to kiss like that? You’re… like, really good at it. That couldn’t have been natural.”
Will shook his head. “Practice,”
Mike’s eyes widened. “You’ve had your first kiss… and it wasn’t with me.” He seemed devastated. Will was almost pleased, though he’d wanted the same thing.
“I’ve kissed many-a-boy, Mike.”
“Really ?”
“Yep. To give you one, d’you know Marcus, from track?”
“ The hot one?” Mike gaped.
“Yeah. We… kissed multiple times after practice, sophomore year,” ( Understatement of the year, William,)
“ Really?”
Will grinned. “Jealous?” He asked, humor and a softness for the boy in front of him bubbling up in his chest.
“Should I be?” Mike retorted.
Will’s grin softened. “Not at all. He’s cool, but he’s not… not you. That was a long time ago.”
Mike launched forward and pulled him into a hug. “He’s hotter than me,” He whispered into Will’s shoulder.
“No he’s not. You’re a million times hotter than him. I’d choose you over him, no matter what the circumstances.”
“Oh.” Will could practically feel Mike’s blush as he relaxed.
They held each other for a few moments relishing each other's warmth, until Mike began to…Will thought he was laughing for a moment, before realizing the heave in his chest was not one of laughter, but one of sobs. Will held him closer.
Mike had cried more today than Will had seen him cry in years, and Will had not shed one tear.
“Mike?” Will whispered. “Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?”
“No, you-”
“Because I might’ve kissed other boys, but they're not you. And kissing you- that was better than any other kiss I’ve had, by a long shot, Mike,”
“I know- I know, I-” Mike just cried harder. His grip on Will’s shirt just tightened. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m so sorry,” He mumbled into Will’s shoulders, and Will felt something spike his cut. He frowned.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,”
“I do, I do-” Mike’s voice cracked, and Will felt his eyes prickling with tears. This was such a leap from the confident boy of moments ago. “I feel like we- we drifted apart so much these past few years and it’s all my fault- I’m so sorry- you were there, but I- I wasn’t.”
Mike pulled away, seemingly trying to pull himself together again. “Remember… remember California?”
“Yeah.” How could I forget?
“I- I was being an ass. Not because of El, but because- because I thought if I didn’t get close to you, my feelings would go away.” He sniffed. “They didn’t. And I think… I think I kept deciding they would. So I kept my distance, and Will, I never want to do that again. It was so stupid .” He muttered.
“But over the summer, and I know it shouldn’t have taken this long, but I came to terms with it. I learned stuff, I talked to people.” Mike took a deep breath. “I’m gay, and I can say it, I’m a gay man and I’m proud of it, and I’m in love with you.”
Will felt like his entire life had been put on pause. It was just him and Mike, Mike and Will. Will took Mike’s face in his hands, leaned forward, slowly, and pressed their foreheads together. The gesture was simple, but it was more intimate than a kiss. It held everything Will needed to say, and when he pulled away Mike was smiling, wiping away his tears “I’ve been in love with you for years,” Will breathed, and it felt amazing to say. “Maybe even since that day we met on the swings. Even if I didn’t know it at the time.”
Mike grinned, and leaned in to kiss him.
Their friend’s laughter echoed around them. The whiskey bottle from earlier sat abandoned, lopsided on the dirt. The birds around then sang their evening song.
But it was only the two of them, them and the stars and the sun surrounding them, framing them against the sky.