Work Text:
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jon threw down his hot pressed sandwich onto the plate.
Oh no, here we go again. Robb could already see by the look on Jon’s face that he was upset, irreversibly upset. So much for a peaceful lunch. Then again, if that’s what Robb really wanted he shouldn’t have taken Jon here of all places.
"What?" Robb frowned as he looked at the offending item. It looked just fine to him, which was unusual in itself. It was just like Jon ordered actually. Lettuce, cheese, tomato, roast beef, onion, pick- oh. There were pickles. Jon fucking hated pickles.
"He does this every time." Jon made it sound like he was cursing. Anger was sparking in his dark eyes. So maybe the sandwich chef had some sort of problem with Jon, but he wasn’t outright doing this on purpose. That’d be idiotic.
“You make it sound like we come here all the time.” Robb tried to dismiss Jon’s exaggerations. If Jon would just calm down, he could see that this wasn’t a big deal.
"We come here practically every other day." Jon deadpanned. His face was anything but amused.
Robb didn’t meet Jon’s eyes. "No, we don't."
"You’re right; we only come when he is working. I’m still amazed how you got his schedule in the first place. Or better yet, why you got his schedule in the first place."
“No!” Robb looked extremely guilty right now. “He isn’t always working when we come here.”
“Yes he is!” Jon snapped. “Because every time we come here my sandwiches are fucked up because of him. He does it on purpose because it only ever happened when he is here.”
"He isn’t doing it on purpose." Robb rolled his eyes. Jon was just being dramatic. That’s all. “Theon isn’t that-”
“Oh, Theon.” Jon mimicked. Okay, Jon really hated pickles. Just the sight of them made him angry and irrationally childish. Robb wasn’t sure what exactly about pickles made Jon just snap, but- “Perfect, sandwich man Theon.”
“Stop that.” Robb sighed. “They are just pickles.”
“Just pickles?” Jon whispered hysterically. “I don’t think you understand.”
“Jon-”
"He is out to get me." Jon growled. "I only even come here because you are obsess-"
"I'm not obsessed!" Robb was blushing bright red and trying to hush Jon so no one, including the cute sandwich chef Theon, could hear. He didn’t want anyone to hear about his dorky crush. "I just like the food." He defended lamely, but his blue eyes told another story.
"That's because he makes your food perfectly every time." Jon rolled his eyes.
"No, he doesn't." Robb bit his lip because that was not the reason. “Perfect is a strong word.”
"Of course, he does! Have you ever had a sandwich that was anything but perfection? And don't say no because I know the truth. You’ve dragged me here enough times for me to see. I come here with Sam, Pyp, and Grenn sometimes and their food never comes out like yours. Sure, it is what they ordered, but it is never like that." Jon pointed to Robb’s photo perfect panini with disgust in his voice.
"I don't order anything special! I just get the regular sandwiches. You're the one who always changes them. ‘No pickles’ or ‘can we switch it from Swiss to cheddar’ or ‘put the mustard between the lettuce and tomato’. Maybe he just forgets. It’s not like this place is empty."
So maybe Robb was a little defensive about the sandwich maker, Theon. Sure, the place wasn’t packed but there were a fair amount of costumers for a mistake to slip by. It just happened to be always on Jon’s sandwiches. All the time, every time.
"Oh right, because a tuna melt is exactly the same as fucking chicken grilled cheese." Jon crossed his arms right over his chest as he referred to the last time they had come there…two days ago. "I'm not eating it. Pickles are fucking gross."
“Can’t you just take the pickles off?” Robb tried to salvage whatever was left of their lunch which went right down the drain the minute Jon saw pickles. “It’ll be like they were never there.”
“No, their juices are soaked in my bread.” Jon was shaking his head. “Come on, Robb, you know how pickles contaminate everything.” Jon pushed the plate away from him like he was worried about the spread of pickles to him.
"Fine, I'll go switch it for you." Robb rolled his eyes. He always ended up doing it for Jon. The one time Jon had gone to exchange his sandwich; he had nearly started a fight with Theon and got kicked out. Needless to say, Robb handled any disputes that were to arise between the two.
Robb wasn’t sure why Jon hated Theon or vice versa. It wasn’t like they knew each other outside vender and customer. Robb found nothing wrong with Theon, but then again, he was a little bias.
"Good, he might actually make it right." Jon said that and knew it was true because every time he had to get a second sandwich curtsy of Robb it was fine if not perfect.
Robb grabbed Jon's plate and made his way over to the counter where the topic of their conversation was leaning against the wall. He was dark, tall, handsome, and always had a charming smirk on his face. His name tag held a tiny sketch of a squid with a messily scrawled Theon on it.
So maybe Robb had a little crush, so what. He could fantasize about the handsome café worker. It was innocent. Fun even. They got along well enough. Robb came there enough and Theon botched up Jon’s sandwiches nearly every time. Definitely not on purpose. They have a bit of a friendship.
“Hey, Theon.” Robb smiled sheepishly. He always felt awkward about having to bring up Jon’s messed up sandwiches back. He didn’t want to cause any problems. “There was a bit of a mess up on my brother’s sandwich.” Robb set it down.
"The pickles." Theon smirked knowingly without breaking eye contact with Robb. "My bad."
“You knew?” Robb cocked an eyebrow.
"You know he comes in every other night with his D&D friends. They take up the back table and talk for hours. I usually have to wait for them to get out and close. I think your brother does it on purpose. Did you know they call themselves the Night’s Watch, fucking ridiculous. No offense, but he is a prick. Very pretentious sandwich orderer too." Theon was rambling to Robb, grinning the whole time like it was some big joke.
"So you punish him with a sandwich." Robb was smiling now too because Theon was funny, cute, and his eyes were shining.
"Only when you show up." Theon was leaning over the counter now, a mischievous grin on his face. He made no move to make another sandwich for Jon or take the old one that laid abandoned on the table.
Robb blushed. Jon had said as much. "Why?"
"I think you know why.” Theon was grinning bigger than before now. “I’ll make him another one.”
“No pickles.” Robb reminded.
“Got it, extra pickles.” Theon nodded as he turned his back to Robb.
“Theon!” Robb reprimanded lightly because he knew the sandwich maker was kidding but then again, he didn’t want to deal with a fussy Jon anymore.
“Oh come on, take a joke, Robb.” Theon glanced at Robb rolling his eyes. “Your brother can’t seem to.”
“He hates pickles.” Robb shrugged, not sure how else to explain Jon’s behavior.
“Oh, I gathered as much.” Theon chortled. “I can hear him ramble about pickles all the way over here.”
Robb’s eyes widened for a second because he hoped that his voice didn’t travel over to Theon as well. He really didn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of the sandwich maker crush.
“He’s never liked them.”
“Some traumatizing childhood thing, right?” Theon’s eyes were dancing. “It has to be.”
“Kind of.” Robb knew the reason but he wasn’t sure Jon would be pleased if he shared it with Theon. Even more so that Jon had marked Theon as enemy number one.
“Please do tell me.” Theon’s eyes were dancing.
“Another time.” Robb promised and hoped that didn’t sound too forward.
“Another time.” Theon agreed and he turned back to his task and Robb went to sit down with Jon again.
“He is making another one?”
“Yes.” Robb smiled kindly in hopes they could move on.
“You should stop flirting with him.” Jon muttered.
“I was not flirting with him.”
“Yes, you were. Which is dumb, considering he can’t make a fucking correct sandwich.”
“Only where you are concerned.” Robb whispered and Jon threw a mean spirited glare.
Jon’s new sandwich came in no time. Theon threw Jon his costumer serve guaranteed smile as he set down Jon's new sandwich and the receipt. Robb would admit the smile was a bit disconcerting. Theon threw a dorky wink at Robb which made Jon scoff and glare the man away.
Jon looked down at his sandwich skeptically like he was waiting for it to explode. Robb thought it looked fine. Jon took a cautious bite of his sandwich and instantly spat it out. Disgust was painted on his face.
"That fucker." Jon was seething.
"What?" Robb was almost worried. Almost.
"He put more fucking pickles on it." Jon opened the sandwich up to reveal a shit ton of pickles. More than appropriate and certainly done on purpose. A giant mustard smile face was dolloped over the atrocious amount of pickles.
"Do you want me to take it-"
"No. Let's just fucking leave. You’re paying." Jon shoved the receipt to Robb who picked it up gingerly. Jon’s arms were crossed. He wasn’t even fucking hungry anymore. Fucking pickles.
Robb scanned it with a frown. The total was zero which didn’t make any sense because they ordered two sandwiches and sodas. He glanced over to Theon who grinned prideful, like a child who had come home with straight A’s. His white teeth were sparkling in the afternoon light.
Robb looked back at the ticket and noticed a tiny note scribbled at the bottom in messy, but somewhat charming handwriting.
Extra pickles right? On the house ;)
Underneath was a phone number. Robb felt his heart jump and his cheeks burn.
Jon didn’t seem to be paying attention to Robb as Robb pocketed the receipt. He stood up and Jon took that as the cue to get up as well. He looked back at the table, not even bothering to mask his disgust at the sandwich, and frowned.
"You aren't going to pay?" Jon blinked at Robb in surprise. Robb was the perfect child as well as the perfect costumer. He always paid and always tipped well even if it wasn't deserved. Hell, Robb did every customer service survey ever received.
Robb stared a Jon blankly. He had two options. One, he could tell the truth. He always told the truth but if he did, he would have to deal with Jon's teasing and/or disapproval. The second option was much more appealing.
"Do you think he deserves it?" Robb asked already knowing the answer.
"No." Jon said quietly.
"Good, then let's go." Robb gestured toward the door. Jon’s face was complete morphed into shock but Robb shrugged nonchalantly.
Jon walked and Robb followed closely behind, not without glancing at Theon who threw him a very obnoxious but stomach tightening wink before smirking in amusement.
Oh Robb would definitely be in contact.