Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

~“Hello...”~

“Yeah, I don’t think it was us they were looking for, Bee...”

Any other moment, and Charlie is sure she would be laughing amusedly as Lionel Richie’s voice softly crackles from Bee’s radio. Not that her life isn’t already filled with weird moments, but this definitely takes a spot near the top of that very long list.

Eddie arches a brow. He thinks he should be, at least, a little freaked out. But seeing as he is literally merged with an alien made up of weird goop, somehow, the sight of a sentient vehicle just doesn’t shock him like it probably would have 10 years ago.

As usual, V only has one thing on his mind; “Food.”

His milky whites lower to Charlie and twinkle as his tongue lops out to lick his lips.

Charlie’s eyes widen a little, and though, V doesn’t make a move against her, Bee is instantly stepping in front of her and his blue orbs tinge pink as they narrow at the creature.

“No.” Eddie firmly bites out after stepping in front of V and pointing a finger up at him.

V huffs and sulks and glares in the petulant way he typically does, but as usual, he does actually listen to his other half.

Eddie holds up his hands in surrender as he slowly turns to face the...alien-robot-thing? “Sorry about him. He’s not evil, or anything, he’s just a greedy bastard.”

V huffs again, but doesn’t argue. Instead, he says, “And we weren’t looking for anybody.”

Eddie nods. “He’s right. These portals keeping opening up around us lately. They either send us to another universe, or they send someone through to our universe. Never lasts enough for us to find out what the hell is going on, or even where the hell we’ve ended up...”

Bee takes a step back beside Charlie, but keeps his senses on fully alert. Charlie glances at Bee, and Bee can only shrug when he sees she’s looking to him for an answer over just what the hell is actually happening and how.

“Uh...so...does that mean, eventually we’ll return to our universe?” Charlie finally asks when she’s able to slow her mind down enough to string a proper sentence together.

Eddie nods, offers a small, but reassuring smile.

Charlie lets out a relieved sigh. She glances around, finally takes notice of their surroundings. They’re on a high clifftop. The wind is rushing around them, because of how close they are to the edge. She spots a caravan parked up in the near distance, a lot further in from the edge of the cliff.

Charlie faces the man again. And now that she’s looking at him properly, too, she can’t deny how attractive he is. “Um, I’m Charlie, by the way. Nice to meet you.” She holds out her hand to him.

“Eddie.” Eddie grins charmingly, eagerly slides his hand against hers. She’s a pretty little thing, he can’t deny. “This idiot is Venom.” He jabs a thumb in V’s direction.

“Nice to meet you both.” Charlie sends Venom a sheepish smile. “Also, thanks for not eating me.”

‘Hmm. Maybe we could keep her instead of Anne? She did break our heart, after all, Eddie. Is that not why you made us tuck our tails and runaway?’ V speaks to him in their shared mind–their sacred space, as far as V is concerned.

If V wasn’t actually being serious, and not just taunting, like he usually does, Eddie would totally tell him to fuck off. As is reality, Eddie knows the symbiote only speaks both their truths whenever Eddie refuses to.

And now, it’s not as if Bee has the guts to tell her how he feels her sudden attraction. So now, instead, he has to suffer in silence. Only now, he sees the other alien tilting his shiny black head and staring back at him with intrigued white and swirly orbs.

‘Hm. Maybe not, then. The Yellow One is already too attached to her. He was clearly willing to fight for her...’ V grins at Bee, whose blue optics narrow in suspicion, while V secretly tells Eddie, ‘Challenge accepted, my new yellow friend.’

‘What? Whoa–wait, V, whatever you’re thinking of doing, do NOT–‘

“How old are you, Delicious Charlie?” V chimes as he shrinks back down into his serpent form instead (because he no longer wants her fear. He no longer wants anything from her. Only from her yellow...friend.)

Charlie looks a little bewildered as she watches him change his form. Though, she doesn’t know why, not after all the times she’s seen Bee transform. “Uh... 27... Why?” Oddly, however, this creature, whatever it is, seems to have just as much personality as Bee and the other Autobots do–well, Bee, Jazz, and Ratchet, for sure–and it’s just as endearing to her.

Bee frowns as he watches her step closer to the creature. He itches to take that step with her, just in case this alien decides to change his mind about eating Charlie (mainly, because he knows he’ll always make sure he’s quick enough to save her.)

“Ah, good, good. Eddie is only 35. That’s not too much of an age gap.” V grins smugly at Bee when Charlie turns her laugher towards Eddie.

Standing behind Charlie, Bee takes a moment to properly glare at V–whose smug smirk only grows wider across his toothy mug.

“Is he trying to set us up?” Charlie asks, then, laughs again.

Eddie sighs with a roll of his eyes, then, nods. “Yeah. Ignore him.” He smiles apologetically. “We just broke up with our girlfriend. It was pretty rough. I needed to clear my head for a little while. That’s what the caravan is about.” He explains as he motions back to his temporary home.

Charlie gives an understanding nod. “I’m sorry.” She says, though, she tries not to look so sad for him, in case she only upsets him even more.

V scoffs before either human can add to the subject. “Anne made very clear just what she thinks of us, Eddie.” Eddie screws his face up in annoyance, but V smiles brightly at Charlie, and cuts Eddie off just to tell him, “And now, this pretty girl shows up in the middle of nowhere, where we just so happen to be... Seems like fate, to me.”

Eddie merely rolls his eyes and shakes his head again. He’s learned to take most of V’s words with a grain of salt. However, he does see the brief exchange between both aliens–with V grinning all too smugly as Bee’s eyes narrow very slightly.

Bee is aware Eddie has eyes on them, so, he keeps his reactions to the bare minimums. Which means that right now, he has to literally keep his eyes from turning an angry red.

And to make things worse, Bee holds his rage back so tightly, the angry dam in him almost cracks–his left hand twitches briefly, but just loudly enough for Charlie to turn and look at him with concern. Somehow, Bee instantly composes himself, and even manages to give her his own version of a smile.

Thankfully for Bee, Charlie smiles back, and Bee’s shoulders sag an inch with relief as soon as she turns her back to him again. (Primus, he really hopes they go home as soon as possible.)

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“You’re welcome to stay as long as it takes for that portal to come pick you up again...or, uh, y’know, as long as you want. You can take our bed, obviously. It’s no trouble.” Eddie sends her a sheepish grin. He doesn’t want her to think he’s up to no good around her.

“Oh, um...” Charlie doesn’t know why she suddenly feels so awkward. “Thank you, but it’s fine. I don’t really wanna leave Bee out here. I mean, I know he can look after himself and me, but we’re technically stranded in a universe we have no idea about.”

Bee knows she actually means her words, and that it’s not just her feeling anxious and needing protection by Bee. Her big heart and protective nature are just a couple more things he loves about her.

“Oh, shit. Yeah, right.” Eddie nods. “Well, look–V and I don’t mind sleeping outside to keep him company. Don’t worry about me freezing my ass off, V won’t let that happen. And I get you’re both a little freaked out.” He chuckles as he tells her, “First time we ever got sucked into a portal, this one cried and made me vomit for over an hour.”

V scoffs loudly and sprouts a thin arm-like tendril just to slap at Eddie’s hand when he points at him.

Charlie chuckles and Bee can only hope V can understand that he’s smirking right at him right now.

“Bee can, uh...” Charlie gives a thoughtful look on how to approach her explanation. Giving up quickly after realising there is no way that sounds not crazy, she just decides to tell Eddie outright. “He can turn himself into a car... Or I guess they call it their alt-mode, but our world still hasn’t fully come to terms with his kind’s existence, so, it’s easier and safer for them to...well, look like automobiles...”

Eddie glances up at Bee before glancing back to Charlie and shrugging as he casually says, “Sure. Why wouldn’t he, right?”

Charlie smiles lightly with amusement. “His kind are divided, like most intelligent species. But Bee’s one of the good guys. He and all his friends came to protect our planet... This is his real shape.”

Bee feels his spark buzzing again as Charlie steps over to him and smiles far too proudly up at him for his systems to process all at once. He takes advantage quickly–uses his transformation to show off to their new friends, while simultaneously taking a moment to cool himself down.

Charlie chuckles as Bee’s radio crackles with the ever unmistakable sound of one of Queen’s song–

~“They’re just four-wheeled friends now...”~

Even as Charlie fights her blushing, she’s still able to tease her friend. “Really, Bee? Cute song choice.” She chuckles and grins when Bee cranks up the static on his radio and lets out a defiant hiss.

“In love with your car, huh?” Eddie is only joking, but V is quietly watching the obvious pining between the other two (it’s almost as sickening as he and Eddie were over Anne.) “I can see why.” Eddie walks up to the yellow and black striped Camaro with wide and enthused eyes. “Sorry, I know he’s not a real car, or whatever, but I wanted one of these models so bad when I was kid.”

Bee’s radio lets out a series of loud crackles and pops. He then, hisses again before revving back a tiny pace.

“Whoa–was it something I said?” Eddie’s eyes widen in alarm as he lifts his hands in defence.

Bee’s radio instantly fills with the song ‘I’m Not Old, I’m Just Vintage’ by Lauren Mayer, his headlights–his optics narrowing up at the man.

Charlie chuckles softly as she gently pats Bee’s bonnet. “10, 000 years is kinda old, Bee.” She shoots him a teasing little grin.

Bee instantly switches his radio, and thinks the song he finds couldn’t be more perfect as ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ blares back at her.

“You’re not old, Bee.”

Bee suppresses a shiver when she runs her fingertips smoothly over the rest of his bonnet before letting her hand slip from him altogether. He’s sure she forgets that is his–what humans call their–chest. Either that, or she does it on purpose, just to taunt him. (Accept, that can’t be right...can it?)

“He’s barely older than I am in human years. He’s actually one of the youngest of his own kind.” Charlie tells Eddie.

Eddie motions for her to sit anywhere around the small fire he’s lit, and she does so with a grateful smile. “Well, V is over 100 million years old, so don’t worry about it, my man.”

Charlie smiles at how easily Eddie treats Bee just as she does; like he’s a real person, because that’s what he is. And then, she’s also widening her eyes and she’s staring up at V with amazement when she registers Eddie’s words. “100 million??”

Eddie chuckles as he sits at the opposite side of the small campfire. He nods as he reaches into the cooler.

Charlie nods back with another grateful smile when he offers her a beer.

Bee quickly transforms back and sits down beside Charlie, his hands on his knees, legs folded up to his chest. He gives Charlie a bubbly crackle of his radio when she turns to him with a smile (subtly checking he’s OK, because she’s just sweet like that.)

“Yes. However, unlike my new yellow friend, I must admit that most of my kind only look out of themselves.” V says as he loosely winds down beside his other half.

Eddie smiles as he pats V’s head. “True.” He tells Charlie and Bee, “But V is special. He’s the only one of his kind who chooses to be different.”

Charlie smiles brightly at that, because maybe Bee and V aren’t so different then. “Not to sound so blunt here, but what exactly are you?”

“I am part of an ancient species of inorganic amorphous extra-terrestrials. Our true nature is symbiosis, for we cannot live outside of our home planet without a living host. Though, most of my kind have only ever chosen to be parasites. To consume entire worlds, rather than to merge and maintain balance. I would like to think that I am different, as Eddie says, but I think it’s Eddie who opened my eyes to more.” V smiles as he looks at his other half. “There are so many worlds within just one universe, I was just lucky enough to have found my one true host.”

Bee looks just as curious as she feels when Charlie gives him a sideways glance. “Oh. So, like...you two are...together?” Charlie holds up both hands before they can answer, and quickly adds, “No judgment here. I’m just real nosy. Bee knows.”

Bee glances at her, glances back to Eddie and V before nodding. (She might be nosy, but in an endearing way, Bee thinks.)

“Pretty much.” Eddie nods, grins as he easily tells her, “Though, V doesn’t really like sharing.”

V scoffs loudly, but he’s grinning far more cheekily. “I’d be willing to share you with Delicious Charlie...and our new yellow friend, of course.” He trails off in between, waits to carry on only after Bee is glaring at him again.

Charlie laughs as Eddie slaps V up the side of his inky black serpent head.

“Just ignore him. You are very beautiful, but no offence, you are far too young for me. I like my women older than I am.” Eddie tells her as he takes a sip of his beer.

V can’t help wanting to sulk at Eddie for ruining his fun, especially when he notes Bee’s shoulders relaxing.

Or maybe not. Maybe V can still have some fun here.

He does so love a little drama. Maybe he watches too much daytime TV. Whatever. He doesn’t care. He will stir up the pot and see what juicy results he gets.

And if he so happens to do a good thing for his new friends while he’s at it, well, Eddie never needs to know about that. He already teases V enough for his hidden soft side.

V grins when Eddie gets his little game (unknowingly) started off for him as Eddie casually asks Charlie, “What about you? You got someone waiting for you back home?”

V’s grin drops a little. He shakes his head at Eddie’s choice of words, because V knows Eddie isn’t as dim as he looks...or often acts. Like he is doing so now.

Seriously–does he not notice their new yellow friend shifting awkwardly, or their deliciously pretty new friend’s cute little pink blush?

“Oh, no. I mean, I’ve had a few boyfriends, but nothing ever stuck, really.” Charlie doesn’t notice the words she uses next, but Bee definitely does–“There was never really any, uh...spark, I guess you could say.”

The strength Bee then has to muster up to keep his radio silent is an inner strength he didn’t know he possessed until this very moment. How does she never realise what she does to him? He can’t be that talented with hiding his emotions, can he? Especially not with Charlie, someone who knows him better than anybody ever has (including all his auto-brethren.)

Eddie nods in understanding, then, leans back to grab another small log to toss onto the campfire. She doesn’t mention anything between she and her alien friend, so, Eddie politely avoids asking.

V pipes up, and for a second, Eddie panics thinking V will just ask anyway. Thankfully, V curiously floats up at his new yellow friend and asks, “You are a young one, aren’t you, my yellow friend?” V grins down at Charlie, who pears curiously back up at him. “I know an old soul, when I meet one. I have met many souls in my time. Young and old. Good and bad. Ambitious and lost. Young, good, ambitious, both of you are. Ahh, Eddie, remember when you were like that?” He sings as he floats back to give his new friends some breathing room.

“You cheeky fuck. I’m still all of those things.” Eddie snips with a harsh, but still playful tug of the tether between them.

“Hmmm–no.” V counters with withering milky orbs.

Charlie smiles as she pats Bee’s knee and tells her new friends, “He’s an alien, obviously.” She grins proudly as she states, “I know he looks like a robot, but he wasn’t made by anybody. He’s sentient. They all are. Bee’s a real person. He’s his own person. And he’s best person I know.” Charlie ends with a sweet little smile (Bee stores the smile safely in his core memory drive, as he does with all her smiles, whether they’re directed at him or not.)

“‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get...” Bee’s radio proudly crackles, and his spark can only pang along with every time he makes Charlie laugh, or even smile.

Eddie nods and chuckles. He’s curious to ask, but he has a feeling he may just be overstepping.

Of course, this time, V doesn’t have any trouble helping. “What happened to your real voice, my friend?”

Charlie’s eyes widen, because she’s both protective over how sensitive Bee is about his voice, and because V even knows there is something missing–for all anybody knows, that could just be Bee’s real way of communicating.

Bee lets Charlie know he’s OK by giving her a far more gentle pat on the head than the one he gave her on the beach when he tried to brush the sand out of her pretty hair.

Charlie frowns, but nods and stays silent as Bee uses his radio to explain.

“Bad guys–they took my–voice.” Bee says, skipping stations with great ease (the other main reason he watches so much TV, the other being that he just enjoys doing so. Especially when he’s with Charlie.)

“I honestly don’t know which is weirder–an actual sentient robot who talks through the radio, or a sentient pile of goop who can read my mind.” Eddie smirks at both aliens when V glares at him, and Bee looks rather bummed out. “I meant in an awesome weird way.”

Chapter Text

Eddie falls asleep just as the sun sets. Charlie smiles as she watches V dip a tendril back into their caravan to bring out a blanket to drape over Eddie. She glances up to Bee when he lightly chirps beside her. “I’m good, Bee. Not tired yet.” She chuckles softly when he lifts a thumb up at her. “You guys don’t really have to stay out here with us.” Charlie tells V once he’s settled back to floating just above Eddie.

“Eddie is fine, I assure you. And I do not require sleep.” V explains, one small tendril gently stroking through Eddie’s choppy short strawberry blonde hair as he softly snores away. “Just food and entertainment.”

As Charlie chuckles and shakes her head, beside her, Bee fights back a glare as V so clearly hintingly smirks up at him with those many sharp rows of fangs.

“Besides, even without me aiding in his comfort, Eddie can sleep anywhere at anytime. It’s both slobbish and endearing.”

Charlie chuckles. “How long have you two known each other?” She knows she’s nosey, but she also really is highly intrigued with the alien.

Bee crosses his arms, but tries not to sulk as Charlie shuffles closer to V, her eyes wide with earnest interest.

“Ah, almost 11 years now.” V airs with a dreamy smile, “Still feels like just last moment ago. I never thought I would find my perfect match. I have had so many terrible hosts in my time. Eddie is the only one who’s ever cared for me.”

“But like...you...share...him?” Charlie stupidly feels her face heating up. “Still no judgement here. I’m just wondering how you...how you don’t get...jealous...” Even the thought of Bee with anybody else–as ridiculous to her as it is, or at least, should be–makes her skin crawl unpleasantly and her heart sink to her stomach.

V curiously tilts his head at Charlie, and from the corner of one eye, he notices his yellow friend doing the same. He holds on to a smug smirk, is serious, but calm as he tells her, “We share one mind, as well as one body. We know every part of one another. Why would I need to be jealous when I can feel how much he loves me?” He adds the last part with a pointed grin, but then, he’s quickly arching a brow, because he’s both impressed by his idea, and annoyed at himself for not thinking of it sooner.

“Wow.” Charlie breaths, pauses for a moment with a thoughtful look on her face. She knows all about soul mates, because who doesn’t? But she’s also been told by a few of the Bots–not including Bee, because she’s too much of a wimp to have that conversation with him–about spark mates. And since being told, all she can think about is what Bee’s spark mate would be like if he ever met them...

V’s eyes narrow in curiosity as he floats slowly closer to her. “It is thee most sacred bond amongst my kind. So, wow, yes.”

Charlie blinks, a tiny chuckle bubbling out of her when she takes in V’s dopey grin.

No matter what Eddie thinks, V can be tactical when it comes to being social. He watches so much TV, that V considers himself mentally human anyway. So, right now, he doesn’t ask any questions about the obvious bond between his two new companions. Instead, he smiles softly, and floats closer to finally say, “I have an idea...if your friend would be willing, of course.”

Bee blinks with confusion back down at V.

“Well...what’s the idea?” Charlie asks slowly, eyes slowly filling with caution as they flicker between Bee’s blue optics and V’s milky swirly pearls.

(It’s the reason he even bothered to cover Eddie with that blanket–because if his yellow friend agrees to this, Eddie will be a little less warmer for a little while.) V floats back and up a little so he can look at their reactions properly. “I would like to give our yellow friend his voice back. At least, for a little while.” He quickly adds that last part on when he sees how shocked and excited they both look. He floats up to face his yellow friend and tells him, “It will not sound like your true voice, but you will be able to talk, my friend.”

V gives Bee a look that he can somehow read; I will be listening to every word, but you will never see me again anyway. And while it probably should sound like a threat, Bee somehow reads his silent proposition as a friendly promise. Still, Bee stares sceptically back at the other alien for a few moments. But then, his optics fall to Charlie, who’s staring curiously back up at them both now.

Bee wants to ask just why V would do this for him, but sweet Charlie–it’s like she can read his damn processors sometimes, he swears–she asks for them both.

V turns to her with a mockingly coy grin. “Intrigue.” He simply says, chuckling when Charlie wrinkles her brow in annoyance at his vagueness.

“Will it hurt him?” Charlie worriedly asks as she watches V float closer to Bee.

“Only if he struggles against the merge. But I have no doubt that a creature of his strength can handle it. Humans are really the only beings I have ever had trouble with.”

“Because humans are squishy, right?” Charlie mocks as she arches a brow up at Bee.

“Rat–ch–it...calls you–that... Not me!” Bee innocently crackles through his radio, servos sweetly clasped together.

Charlie rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling, because he’s right. Ratchet really is as miserable as he is secretly sweet.

V chuckles. “Actually, because their brain chemistry is as versatile as it is delicate.” He explains, then, levels his eyes with his yellow friend’s as he finally asks, “What do you say, my friend?” He leans in closer and whispers so that only the two of them can hear, “Would you finally like to tell her how you feel? If so, I won’t tell a soul. Not even Eddie...”

Chapter Text

The merge only takes mere seconds. V is surprised by how well this creature adapts to him in return. The only other being ever to adapt to him even easier being Eddie, of course. And for Bee, it’s not unlike whenever he transforms from one mode to the other. Only, it’s a lot more thrilling; makes him feel more online than ever before (surely a cause of how well both their DNA seems to amplify the other.)

And for Charlie? Well, after a few minutes of just staring up at the once 12 foot tall Bee–now, 20 feet tall, at least–she finally manages to pick her jaw up and say words. “Umm... D–...Don’t take this the wrong way–either of you–but...Holy Fuck!–you’re terrifying to look at.”

Bee’s chassis and waist are covered with V’s black ripples. Bee stares down at himself, takes in his one black clawed foot and his own (though, giant) yellow and grey metal foot; his one black arm and clawed fist; and then, he finally registers Charlie’s words.

Bee glances back to her with one blue optic and one swirly white orb, and Charlie can still easily see the distraught look he’s giving her. Her eyes widen and she holds up her hands in apology as she tells him, “Terrifying in a totally awesome way.” She assures him firmly as she slowly walks up to him and takes him in properly.

Bee relaxes, because–‘You feel her emotions. Without even being properly bonded to her, too. Interesting. And impressive... This “Conjunx Endura” thing is not unlike my own bond with Eddie.’

‘Stay outta my head!’ Bee roars.

V chuckles. ‘Quite impossible while we are merged. Sorry–not sorry.’

Bee’s anger is cut short. ‘I—Wait... Primus fragging shit! You can hear me? You can hear my real voice?!’ He’s both excited and shocked.

‘Of course. I already explained how Eddie and I work.’ V says as he recedes his eye and lets Delicious Charlie look into the eyes of her–obvious soul mate–dear friend.

‘Oh! It’s been SO fragging long since ANYBODY has heard my real voice!!’

Even as Bee is careful to step away from her before he proceeds to do a cute little happy dance, Charlie has to take a few more steps back just to take the whole scene in properly. She laughs, even though, she has no idea why he’s so happy so suddenly, but she’s always happy just to see him happy. She knows he doesn’t get a lot of chances at happiness. Most of his kind rarely do, apparently (sadly.)

V sinks back into Bee, and with this, Bee slowly shrinks back down to his normal 12 foot metal frame. He saves Charlie the task of asking what’s going on as he slowly loops out of Bee’s left shoulder. He forms into his serpent head as he lowers his face to her sweet and pretty one and tells her, “Our friend is excited, because he didn’t realise I could read the thoughts of my host, as well as feel their emotions.” He grins mischievously when her eyes widen, slowly filling with hope and excitement.

“You...” Charlie clears her throat. She’s both deeply curious, and still secretly saddened by the fact that she will never hear it for herself. “You can hear his real voice?” She would ask, too, what his voice sounds like, but at the last second, she decides it’s not worth the further torment.

V nods, and Bee finally stops his dancing to stare back at her with knowing and slightly saddened optics.

“Well...” Charlie clears her throat again as her eyes lock with Bee’s pretty glowing blues. “What does he sound like?” (Fuck it, I wanna know, she suddenly crumbles decides.) She knows she blushing a little, but she can’t seem to care as Bee now stares at her with a more longing look.

V sighs, he, too, feeling rather guilty now. He really didn’t think this part through, he thinks to himself as he tells her, “I really wish I could merge with you, so that I could share it with you; so that you could hear it for yourself.”

“Well...” Charlie shrugs casually. And she knows she’s being reckless, but she still finds herself asking anyway. “We could try...right?”

“No. It could kill you. Quickly and painfully. The risk of your life is not worth any reward.” V states this very firmly, shoots her a pointed look.

“Well, can’t you just jump right back out of me before that happens?!” Charlie finds herself snapping, her anger suddenly rising to the surface.

V takes a few floating paces backwards as Bee’s radio loudly buzzes. “You know–I never–disagree with–you–unless–I’m trying!!!–to keep–you, my darl—Charlie–safe... You’re just–TWO!!!–damn important–to me...”

Charlie lets out a whisper of a chuckle, her smile faint, but still deeply fond under the surface of her sadness and disappointment. She could never be disappointed with Bumblebee, but she can’t help feeling that disappointment of never hearing his real voice. I bet it sounds beautiful...

For emphasis–because he knows she knows he’s right; that V is right–Bee cheekily “sings” to her; ~“Don’t leave me this way... I can’t survive, I can’t stay alive without your lo–...”~ Bee quickly cuts out his radio before the next lyrics can blurt through (and out him in a second), because he never denied (to anyone) he isn’t a total fragging coward when it comes to actually admitting his truly deep feelings for her.

‘Now is your chance to speak to her, my young and in love friend.’ V slowly disappears into Bee fully then, leaving the two with as much privacy as he can manage.

‘Wait–what?!?! No!! What the slag do I even say to her?! This isn’t like you and Eddie! You’re able to change yourself to be exactly what he needs! I can’t fragging do that for Charlie! I know I’m small for my kind, but I’m still always worrying if I’m gonna fragging step on her by accident–let alone if we ever tried... Oh, Primus, smite out my spark now!!!’

—Bee, however, is panicking (clearly) internally as Charlie stares up at him with those big and warm brown eyes of hers. He doesn’t want to disappoint her–he never wants that–but he’s also suddenly terrified, now that he actually has to go through with trying to speak to her.

‘By the void of Knull–will you CALM the fuck down?!...and PULL yourself together, soldier!!’ V resists the strong urge to sprout a tendril just to slap his host around the face to get him to snap out of his mini nervous breakdown (like he does with Eddie, whether they’re in public or not.)

‘Right! You’re right! I can...do...this...’ Bee literally feels V rolling his eyes, as well as feeling his utter boredom. And while the feeling of being fully connected to another being is a rather serene experience, it’s still nothing compared to what he feels whenever he simply looks at Charlie.

V groans loudly in their temporarily shared mind. ‘Then, TALK to her before I rip off your HEAD! Never mind your voice!!!’

Even if a decade and a half of Earth years is absolutely nothing to his kind, or even to Bee himself–him still barely reaching the middle of his young adult stages–it’s still long enough for him to feel slightly overwhelmed. Even if it will sound nothing like his own voice, it’s still rather daunting to know that he’s about to actually speak to the perfect creature of his regular nightly stasis lock downs (his dreams.)

“Bee?” Charlie looks worriedly up at him as she moves back over to stand in front of him. “I know V can talk to you in your mind, but that doesn’t mean you gotta go all radio-silent on me, now, does it? I... You look worried... Should... Should I be worried, too?? Oh, my God!–are you in pain? I know what you’re like, Bee–you’re always downplaying that kinda thing.” (It’s like he thinks he has to prove himself to everyone that isn’t himself, and Charlie fragging hates it.)

She goes into a very light version of panic as she rushes forward to check him over, but all Bee can do is stand there–like a spark-struck aft-helm he’s always been around her, right from the very moment they first met and she looked at him with the kindest eyes he’d ever seen–as Charlie checks him over for any new damage—the very last–completing–part of his spark, always treating him like he’s the most precious thing ever to be created. His physical spark itself can surely only process so much affection.

Bee steps back from Charlie. He gives his helm a furious shake–a clear no to her concerned words and holds up both his servos to silently communicate that he’s absolutely fine.

Charlie lets out a loud breath of relief, then, lets out an even louder, and clearly annoyed huff. She glares (pathetically–because she can never seem to stay even remotely mad at him for too long, let alone reach full fury) up at him. She folds her arms over her chest to physically underline her silent point.

~“...–is it too late now to say sorry?”~ Bee buzzes, the glow of his optics dimming slightly as they crinkle with sheepish amusement.

Charlie doesn’t look impressed. Though, she does have to fight with all of the muscles in her face to keep from smiling as Bee’s antennas do that adorable little droop of sadness. It really should infuriate her, how he doesn’t infuriate her, at all. (The worst he ever does is make her worry for his safety, and that’s not even his own fault.)

‘This is painful to watch...and feel...and watch. I’ve seen ALL of your memories; seen how brave and relentless you are–how deliciously brutal you can be—HOW are you also this pathetic?!’

“Shut up!–I’m gonna do it now!!!”

Charlie’s eyes widen...

Chapter Text

“Uhhhhhhh–“

No way...

Charlie blinks, stares up at him with mild concern, because he seems to be...glitching??

“Ahhhhhhhh–“

I can actually FEEL the vibrations under my neck-guard!!

OK, definitely glitching–Charlie gets to the end of her conclusion before the panic sets back into her. “Bee...??” She slowly shuffles closer to him.

“Bleeeeeeh–“

‘WILL you STOP!?’

‘What the frag is going on?! How did you... What... How...’ –Because Bee can feel the physical vibrations of his own voice.

“Bee, are you OK? Talk to me!” Charlie finally snaps, making his optics finally snap back to her.

‘Yesss, Bee; TALK to her...’

Bee ignores V to hold up both his servos again and to nod again to let her know he’s OK. He then, slowly takes a step back to carefully kneel down in front of her.

Charlie stares back up at him–because even at this height, he still towers over her a couple of feet. Her heart slowly begins to race in anticipation, because the crackling static she suddenly hears from him isn’t his alt-mode radio.

Bee takes a moment to calm himself before trying a little harder. “Ch... Ch... Cha... Char... Ch–FRAG IT!” Instead, he quickly loses patience with himself.

“Hey, it’s OK, Bee. Relax.” Charlie’s voice is as soft as the tiny hand she lays on one of his giant servos.

Bee gives a rather glum nod, and while V is impressed with how easily his yellow friend can use V’s help to speak instead–something even Eddie took a long time to learn–V also gives his yellow friend a little extra help by flooding his processors with as much calmness as he can. It works like a charm as Bee’s shoulders sag with relief, but V also finally admits, ‘In another universe, somewhere, you and I are meant for one another. This, I am sure of... There are only a handful of hosts I’ve been with in my very long existence that have been able to change me for the better, and have somehow, been changed by me for the better. And now, because of you, I have a handful and a finger.’

Bee almost asks him what the frag he’s talking about, but then, V is slowly looping his serpent head out of Bee’s waist and floating between he and Charlie to tell them both–

“When my kind find a host that isn’t a match, most of the time, the bodies will react to me as if I’m a cancer. But the ones that don’t die a quick and painful death are able to get over the shock, though, they’re bodies will eventually shutdown if the symbiote refuses to leave the host. We can keep the corpse animated long enough to find another host.”

Charlie tries not to look as horrified as she feels as she silently listens to his every word and politely nods along.

V’s serious expression suddenly bursts into an excited grin as he tells Charlie, “My kind have our perfect host; our one and only. However, we also have hosts that match our bodies, but not our minds.”

Bee blinks back at Charlie as she blinks up at him, both of them sharing confusion before Charlie speaks for the both of them. “OK, I feel like you’re finished talking...and we totally get what you’re saying–“

Bee nods eagerly when she glances to him for confirmation that he, too, gets what V is saying.

Charlie nods back, looks at V and continues; ”–but...why are you telling us this?”

Bee nods again, this time, at V.

Charlie quickly (politely) adds, “Unless you just wanted to share with us. Which is totally cool.”

V sprouts two little arm-like tendrils–with three cute little inky digits, instead of five, Charlie absentmindedly notes–and flourishes them towards Bee. “Ta-daaa! Perfect body match!” He excitedly and rather proudly (thinks) he explains.

“Uhh... OK.” Charlie nods, because even though she’s still filled with confusion, she at least, follows what he’s saying.

‘You...’ Bee has finally stopped all useless processing, and now, finally properly registers what is going on; what he feels. Though, when he tries again, nothing happens, so, he holds on to a disappointed look, and instead, uses his radio. “I think–he’s saying–he can–‘HEAL ME, LORD!!!’”

Charlie’s eyes dart to V and widen in surprise.

V smirks mischievously. “Oh, did I forget to mention that flimsy detail?”

‘Yes!’ Bee yells in their shared thoughts just as Charlie snaps, “Yes!”

V cackles out loud, but in their thoughts, he’s serious as he tells his yellow friend, ‘I have already healed you, my friend. But your mental scars, I am incapable of healing, sadly. So, you will just have to find a way to overcome your trauma, because that is why you still can’t talk.’

‘But how–no, WAIT!’

‘Good luck, my yellow friend!’

‘Frag!!’

Charlie watches as V suddenly darts out of Bee and throws his formless body right at Eddie. She watches with fascination as V’s inky mass seeps into Eddie’s stomach–slightly exposed from where his shirt has ridden up and the blanket has fallen off–like soft butter melting over hot toast; she wonders what it feels like–wonders if she should ask Bee about it (when they’re back home.)

V spirals out of Eddie’s left ankle, and Charlie is smiling softly to herself as she watches him sprout those cute little arms again just to pull Eddie’s shirt down and tuck the blanket snugly back around his other half. It warms her heart, but nothing is ever enough to distract her from–“Bee?”

Bee jumps when she suddenly turns around to look at him again–because he was already busy contently distracted with staring at Charlie. It’s nothing new to either of them, but every fragging time, Bee feels deeply mortified–I bet she thinks I’m a total–

“Bee...??” Charlie takes a step closer to him, but then, she pauses and turns back to ask V; “Is he OK? What happened?”

V grins slyly as he answers. “He is OK. He no longer needs my help...” He trails off and waits for Charlie to turn back to Bee before he begins to gently lift Eddie’s sleeping form up (using tiny tendrils to softly grasp at his limbs and support the weight.) V carries Eddie back into their caravan, quietly closes the door behind them (grants his friends as much privacy as he can, because he can totally still hear their voices, loud and clear–but that’s his biology’s fault, not his.)

“Bee?” Charlie closes the space between them (the toes of her boots almost touching the tips of his own metal pedes.)

Bee feels the strain of trying so hard to speak with his own voice. And the physical pain is a welcome feeling, too, because it means he really has been healed. But he still feels traumatised over what Blitzwing did to him, on top of feeling overwhelmed by what’s happening right now. So, again, nothing happens.

And Charlie is so thankful she knows him so well–well enough to know his every emotion just by looking in to those vibrant blue optics–but it also means she has to watch him struggling (and that happens far too often; she fucking hates it.)

Bee gives up trying to use his newly grown voice synthesiser (curtesy of his new alien friend.) Though, now, it seems like even his radio is affected by his chaotic nerves, too.

“Hey, it’s OK–Bee, it’s OK.” Charlie is quickly reassuring him as she wraps her hand around his index digit and gives it a squeeze as soft as her voice.

Bee nods, just barely, his optics dimming slightly as they slowly lower and stare both fondly and miserably between their almost touching feet, and her soft and tiny hand still wrapped around his digit–he wishes he could give her tiny hand an affectionate squeeze back (without having to worry about hurting her.)

While his optics aren’t on her, Charlie’s own eyes widen just a fraction–before she quickly catches and composes herself–when she sees two new little wires in Bee’s neck. It can surely mean only one thing; that V wasn’t bullshitting them for any reason; “entertainment...”

“...And these are the fual lines–or; ‘veins’, as you Squishies call them–that connect to our voice synthesisers...” –Ratchet had explained, begrudgingly, after she begged for 3 whole months, nonstop, for him to teach her all about their kind.

Charlie pulls herself out of her thoughts. She squeezes his digit to get his attention, smiles (sheepishly, as always) as she then gently pats at his right knee. Her heart flutters (as always) when he slowly unfolds his legs without a moment of hesitation; he’s as eager to welcome her in (as always.) Charlie smiles sweetly before carefully–trying so hard to be as graceful as possible–climbs onto his left tibulen (his; ‘thigh.’)

Bee lifts his right servo and gently presses it against her back to keep her from falling off (like she has done so, many times before...and not always comically, sometimes painfully, to his total dismay.)

Bee has never mentioned more than the basics, but without not wanting to “talk” about what happened to him, Charlie has always got the sense that he’s still suffering mentally. So, Charlie is timid and careful, but gentle and encouraging as she asks him, “Will you please tell me about what happened to you just before you met me?”

Chapter Text

“I’ll never talk!”

“Is that right? Well, then, let’s make it official...”

***

Bee finally comes back to the present moment to see Charlie wincing slightly as she smiles very sheepishly at him. Despite the subject matter, his radio crackles a chuckle and he nods, because he knows exactly by the look in her eyes, what she wants to say. Instead, his radio pipes up with The Joker’s sarcastic line of; “Very poor choice of words.”

“You said it.” Charlie chuckles quietly. “Oh, but Bee, you were being so brave. You always are, no matter what. It’s one of the best things about you.”

Bee huffs, folds both his restarlueus over his chassis. “Brave???–You mean–I’m reckless, honey!–Why doesn’t anyone ever stop me??”

Charlie scoffs as she hops off his tibulen and back onto the soft grass. The moon is now shining brightly over them, and if Charlie wasn’t so enraptured with her yellow best friend–like she always is–she would probably take a moment to take in the beautiful scenery. Instead, she’s smiling up at Bee and telling him, “This Con ripped out your voice synthesiser, and was about to kill you, and you tore off one of his torpedoes and shoved it where the sun doesn’t shine, right before you lit his evil metal aft up, Bee. You’re a total badass–oop, no–you’re a total badaft.”

Bee holds up a digit as his radio admits, “Actually, I–... I just–shoved it–into–his–chassis... I was being–over dramatic...”

Charlie chuckles. “Well, OK, but you still shoved it inside of him...” She sends him a devilish grin when those optics wither in a smidgen of contempt.

Bee lets out a staticky sigh before his radio blurts to life again. “Boss–sent me to–protect you–protect this planet–and I–‘failed! Ya failed, son!’”

“What’re you talking about?” Charlie looks both confused, but mostly, annoyed. “You did save me, Bee. You saved everyone, just like you always do.”

Bee’s optics dim with disappointment–and Charlie’s heart can only pang with so much guilt, because she really needs to start telling him just how great he really is, every fragging chance she gets. “I–simply–cleared up–my own–mess.”

“Bee.” Charlie pinches the bridge of her nose. Modesty really does equal stupidity sometimes. “You’re not just a soldier anymore. From the moment you walked into my life, you saved it. You made me me again. You filled a void in my heart and soul that I never thought possible after losing my dad. And besides little old me–you’re a hero to this planet. Damn, Bee, you didn’t even remember who you were, and you still managed to get your job done.”

Bee’s optics crinkle upward–that, Charlie recognises as his very own (adorable) smile–his face-plate twitching as he stares softly back at her. Even if he still can’t talk, that doesn’t mean he can’t say what he needs to–it’s thanks to Charlie, after all, that he even still has a voice at all. “I couldn’t have done it with you–Charlie.”

Even after all this time, it’s still odd to her whenever he uses the recording of her own voice saying her name, but each time, Charlie can’t help smiling anyway. Even if his statement is quite true, and in fact, brings up a whole lot of horrible memories–of her screaming at Memo to hand her another stun gun as Bee’s lifeless body laid by her feet–Charlie knows how hard Bee always is on himself. He seems to think he has to work twice as hard as his companions, but doesn’t even realise how damn well awesome he already is. Damn it–even Optimus trusts Bee enough to charge him with being his Second in Command. Still, Bee seems to think that means he has to prove himself even more than he already does.

Again–Charlie hates it.

But if it takes the rest of her life to convince him that he’s more than worthy and deserving, then, that’s what Charlie will happily be doing for the rest of her life.

“V–says–my–trauma is–blocking me–from–talking...” Bee says after a few moments of comfortable silence.

Charlie sighs softly and nods as she comes to sit down in the grass in front of him. “Yeah... I don’t know if you remember, but you were real scared when you saw the wrench in my hand. You backed away pretty hastily, and you had one of your servos protectively covering your neck.”

“I remember that day...” Bee nods, smiling inwardly, because of her soft and careful voice, and those pretty and caring dark eyes are staring up at him with so much love that it hurts his spark–not to just reach out and pull her to him (and never let her go.) What he remembers most about that day is Charlie’s kind eyes and gentle hands, but he isn’t that brave, so, he simply tells her, “I don’t remember–what happened??–with–blitz–wing... I just–remember–my voice–was gone...”

Charlie is about to open her mouth–wants to comfort him in any way that she can. However, Bee being Bee–sweet, gentle, and (obliviously) humble–he is the one to think of what to say next. He always seem to know just what to say, and not just to Charlie, but to everyone, in every situation. (He really is the best person she knows.)

“Thank you–for trying...” Bee lets out an obvious chuckle of a buzz when she only looks up at him in confusion. His optics crinkle as he sends her his best impression–through his grilled mouth piece–of a cheeky grin. “Getting me–to talk–about my–trauma–in hopes–it will!!!–make me!–talk... Sneaky–Charlie...”

Charlie can’t help chuckling as Otis’ much younger voice blurts through Bee’s radio with the last two words. “It’s OK, Bee.” She reaches out to pat the tip of his pede. “We’ll get there.”

Bee feels his spark flutter at both the way she looks up at him with so much love and determination, and way she says; “We’ll...” rather than; “You’ll...”

As usual, Charlie is oblivious to her robot best friend staring back at her with just as much emotion. Instead–another thing Bee loves about her–she’s only thinking of someone other than herself; only thinking of him as she carries on speaking. “I’m gonna help you through every step of the way. We’re gonna get your voice back.”

Bee can only nod happily along as he tries to focus on NOT getting lost in her pretty eyes–again! Though, he’s shocked into confusion when she suddenly bursts out laughing.

“Oh, man.” Charlie shakes her head as she grins up at Bee and says, “Ratchet is gonna be pissed! He’s spent years trying to give you your voice back, and Venom solves the dilemma in less than a day. Oof... Who’s gonna tell him?–NOT it!”

Bee barely gets to raise his right servo–because apparently, even his thousands of years of experience and reflex still aren’t enough to keep up with a SNEAKY human. Bee stares blankly back at her, blinks a couple of times before his optics narrow and he lets out a high pitched squeak of utter contempt.

Though, admittedly, he was caught up with staring into her pretty eyes again...

Still–he thinks–NO fragging fair! Ratchet is gonna offline me!

Chapter Text

“Ow–my heeead. Ugh...” Eddie groans and clutches at his throbbing bonce. He cracks his eyes open and is surprised when he’s only blinded by one streak of sunlight breaking through the blinds–rather than the entire sun shining down on him. He blinks, glances around his caravan in confusion. “V, why did you move me? Where’s Charlie and Bumblebee?” He groans again, feeling a little hungover as he pulls himself up to sit.

‘They’re fine. They’re outside.’

Eddie is about to scold his other half for rudely leaving their guests outside overnight, but then, V is showing him everything that happened while he was sleeping. “Wha–whoa!” His eyes widen in horror a split second before they widen even further with excitement. “You son of a bitch! Why didn’t you wake me up to watch?!” Eddie hisses as he slaps at his own chest.

V chuckles in their mind. ‘Does it really matter when I just let you experience it instead?’

“No.” Eddie grumbles, tuts, “Still...”

‘Stop sulking. I’ve already taken away your hangover. What more do you want?’ V doesn’t wait for an answer; doesn’t need or want to. ‘Now, let’s go fishing for breakfast!’

Eddie sighs, because he knows what that means–“Couldn’t you have done that, too, while I was asleep? Deep diving with you makes me claustrophobic...or just, y’know, deep diving in general makes me claustrophobic...”

V comes spiralling out of Eddie’s left shoulder just to yell out a protesting; “No!” Eddie huffs, but also, has to fight back a smirk when he feels V pouting as he says, ‘I like fishing with you, Eddie. It’s peaceful. And fun.’

Eddie sighs, but nods as he smiles and says, “OK, bud. Let’s go fishing.”

“Yesss!!!” V immediately floods forth over Eddie’s body and excitedly fist pumps the air.

***

V bursts out of the caravan, but is grumbling heavily in protest when Eddie tells him to go check on their guests first. “You do it! I was with them all night–it’s your turn! Falling asleep before our guests, Eddie–really???” He scolds and tuts loudly before shrivelling back under Eddie’s skin.

“You fucking dick! I’m still in my underpants!” Eddie yelps–in the manliest way possible, of course–as he rushes back into the caravan to pull on a pair of jeans. “You’re an asshole.” Eddie grumbles as he hears V laughing in their mind.

‘Yes, I know.’

Eddie scoffs. “That’s not something to be proud of, V.”

V scoffs back in their mind as he smugly retorts with, ‘You enjoy being an asshole more than even I do sometimes, Eddie. Let’s not start up that argument again. There’s a good boy.’

Eddie scoffs even louder, an incredulous look upon his face. But as usual, V is right, so Eddie can’t even prepare a good enough comeback to that. “Whatever.” Smooth. Eddie pauses with his finger raised over the button of the coffee machine, his eyes narrowed as he grits out the words; “You cheeky fucking bastard. Stay outta my head this early in the morning, you sludgy little hog bat.”

V scoffs; clearly sounds not one ounce bothered by his other half’s insults. (Besides, he still doesn’t even know what a hog bat is, so his ignorance makes it less insulting anyway.)

Eddie turns on the coffee machine, pulls on a hoodie and zips it up before stalking back out into the cool morning air. Thankfully, it’s not too windy at the moment, the waters are calm below–he can hear them gently lapping, which makes him sigh out a breath of relief, but also makes V laugh again as he slowly spirals out of the back of Eddie’s neck.

“Stop laughing, asshole. You know I’m afraid of heights...and water.” Eddie scowls, but V is chuckling and smiling fondly as he tells him, “You’re afraid of most things, Eddie. Funny, considering how brutal you are in a fight; how unafraid you are when it comes to the things you believe in.”

Eddie sighs when he sees V’s expression dim slightly–because he doesn’t need to read his thoughts to know just what he’s thinking about. Eddie reaches out and gently runs his fingers across his symbiote lover’s forehead, and smiles softly as he tells him, “If Drake didn’t have Riot helping him out, I could have easily beaten his ass. Easily and happily. And you didn’t let him kill me. He fucking tore you from me, and you still saved my ass–oh yeah, AND you saved the entire world, while you were at it.”

Eddie chuckles then, when V starts to pout–because he follows the symbiote’s gaze trail to see him staring at their–currently Camaro shaped–yellow friend. Eddie turns back to V, smiles amusedly, but is delicate with his other half as he asks him, “Is that why you’re feeling all needy this morning?–you comparing yourself to our new heroic friend?”

V’s white orbs widen in shock, then, he’s sputtering out his words as he scrambles to spit out an answer–one that doesn’t make him sound like a total loser! “Wha–I–no!”

“Smooth.” Eddie really can’t help smirking–because you SO deserved that.

V’s eyes very quickly narrow in annoyance.

“Oh, V, you’re just too damn adorable sometimes.” Eddie chuckles, leaves V to sulk as he walks over to their guests. He peaks into the rolled down driver’s window, smiles when he sees Charlie curled up on the backseat–smiles even wider when he notes his blanket on top of her, because he knows V must have sweetly fetched it for her.

~“Good morning, good mooorning... We’ve talked the whole night through. Good morning, good morning, to you!”~

“FUCK!–ing...Christ!” Eddie jumps away with his hands pressed over his chest as soon as Bee’s radio blurts right into his face with goddamn Singing In The Rain movie songs!–this is the most sarcastic car he’s ever met! He’s absolutely sure he would have had a heart attack if it weren’t for V calming his pulse.

The song cuts out and Bee’s radio, instead, twitches out a clear amused little snort. Both aliens seem highly amused as V strings together a tiny arm to pat his yellow friend on the hood and give him an approving grin.

Eddie glares at them both as he takes a few more minutes to catch his fucking breath. Ugh!–he’s starting to get too old for this kind of whacky shit...

Charlie yawns and stretches before sitting up and asking, “What’s going on?”

Bee simply lets out another crackling cackle.

Eddie scoffs as he leans back into the driver’s window and tells her, “ALL aliens are assholes!” He bites out before stalking off towards the cooler–left out by the dead campfire from the night before. He groans when he sees there’s only one beer left.

Charlie chuckles as she watches him, her arms resting over the now rolled down backseat window and her chin resting on her hands. “It’s OK, you can have the last one. I saved it just for you. I’m not really a big drinker anyway, so, it’s cool.”

“Charlie, you are a star, girl!” Eddie blows her an over the top dramatic kiss before diving down to retrieve his prize.

V shakes his head and Charlie can’t help smiling amusedly as she watches the pair. “Morning, Bee.” She reaches down a hand to pat the outside of his passenger’s door.

“Morning–beautiful–‘...just beautiful!!’”

Charlie smiles, leans her cheek against the cool leather on the inside of his door instead. “Are you hungry, Bee?”

“Oh, uh...I got some motor oil, if...” Eddie feels both stupid, and maybe somehow like he’s being a little rude, too. “What does his kind eat? Please don’t tell me it’s human heads.”

“What?!” Charlie picks up her head, looks rather bewildered, and then, stares at V with wide eyes of realisation. “Oh, so...he really wasn’t kidding about wanting to eat me when we met...”

“Oh...heh...yeeeah. I mean; no, he wasn’t...” Eddie smiles sheepishly.

V scoffs snootily at Eddie. “Stop beating around the bush, Eddie.” He turns and floats over to Charlie to tell her, “I am the Robin Hood of eating heads...kind of.”

He looks so adorably–absurdly–proud of his statement. Still, Charlie is staring at him in utter confusion as she simply breathes out the word; “What...???”

Eddie rolls his eyes at V as he walks over–casually sipping his beer as he does. He shoves his other half out of the way and tells Charlie, “What he’s trying to say is that he only eats bad guys’ heads. And he only eats their heads, because there’s a chemical–which I’m not even going to bother–“

“For the LAST time–it’s; ‘phenethylamine!’” V hastily snaps with clear exasperation.

“Yeah, whatever.” Eddie barely turns to acknowledge his pesky little sulk before turning back to Charlie and Bumblebee to explain; “It’s a chemical produced by the brain, and the smarter the brain, the more it produces, which is why he has to feed on humans. I mean, I make him eat animals, too, but he gets real weak, so, I kinda have to...treat...him...sometimes...” Eddie winces slightly as he waits for her reaction.

“Wh...” Charlie opens Bee’s door and slowly steps out to face both Eddie and V. “When you say, ‘bad guys’...”

“Oh–we’re talking about people the world would absolutely be better off without. So, like, murders, terrorists, rapists, child killers–really anyone who isn’t at all remorseful for their crimes...literally just the worst dregs of mankind.” Eddie is quick to explain–like he’s trying to defend his other half; V can’t help smiling and feeling giddy on his even goopier insides.

“I... OK.” Charlie nods, mainly, because she doesn’t know what else to do with herself. “Again–no judgement here, if that’s what you need to do to survive.” She settles for offering the symbiote a small smile–that ends up growing into a bright and endeared expression when V grins happily–and oddly adorably with those razor sharp fangs on full display–back at her.

“OK. Cool...” Eddie chirps, tries not to look as awkward as he feels. “So, uh...” He takes a few more sips of his beer, then, motions over at Bumblebee as he repeats his question–“What’s the robot in disguise of a car eat?” He blinks as he registers the very question he just asked and shakes his head–because that is not a question he thought he would ever ask anybody. And I thought it couldn’t get any weirder than a sentient pile of goop.

‘A sexy sentient pile of goop.’ V smugly and proudly cuts into his other half’s thoughts.

Eddie just about fights back an amused smirk as he listens to Charlie.

“Well, unless you can easily get ahold of a shitload of either beryllium; caesium; plutonium; or francium–“ Charlie pauses, shoots Eddie a knowing smile even before he winces and shoots her an apologetic look, and then, carries on, ”–then, don’t worry about. Bee can last quite a while without.” Still–Charlie turns around to check on him. “Think you’ll be OK until we finally get back home, Bee? If not, I’m sure we can work something–“

“Don’t you worry–about me–baby-doll!” Bee happily chirps out–cuts her off before she can start to make herself feel guilty for him–he really hates it when she does that!

“OK, then.” Charlie smiles happily back, reaches out to give his bonnet a soft pat. She chuckles when Bee purrs loudly and revs his engine quietly to nudge his grill gently against the side of her leg.

“Alrighty, then...” V rolls his eyes at Eddie’s ever hopeless social awkwardness. The symbiote turns to Charlie, grinning mischievously as Bee finally transforms into his Bot-mode. “Eddie and I are going to catch us some breakfast.” V hisses when Eddie suddenly elbows him, but huffs in defeat when he sees Eddie shooting him an expectant look. “Ah, yes–I understand that some morons–“ Eddie slaps him up the side of the head–“OW! Fine!–people, people!! Some PEOPLE don’t like to eat animals...”

Eddie glares at him when he pauses, because he knows that cheeky little glint when he sees it slowly beginning to form. He shakes his head slowly–fucking dares him to–

“There is a vegetarian option available on Chef Venom’s Menu, and that option is a dish called, ‘Go Fuck Yourself, Hippie!’” There’s no malice in his tone. In fact, V looks very proud of the fact that he was just allowed to say what he said.

Thankfully, Charlie is laughing–but Eddie is still shooting his other half a warning glare...a warning glare that signals as soon as their guests go back home to their own universe, V is in serious trouble.

Hmm–and V can only wait patiently, because he can’t wait to see which new and delicious punishment Eddie–his love–will think up next for him...