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How do you know you’ve fallen in love with someone?
Akira knew. Maybe not from the beginning, but it was something almost explosive. Chance encounters don’t happen often, especially not one that had led him and his soon to be best friend to an adventure they’d probably never forget.
A rather rash, hot tempered person. Never afraid to speak his own mind, even if it meant he’d come off as rude. Someone who’d suffered (along with many others) at the hands of a person who thought of himself as a king. Someone who became his teammate, friend, best friend… Perhaps even a soulmate.
Every day spent with the first person that truly understood him felt so heavenly, but also suffocating. Whatever feelings that were growing inside him kept gnawing at his own brain, stressing him, slowly eating him alive. The uncertainty that clouded his own emotions was too much to bear sometimes, and not even Morgana could do much to help. Having a crush on your best friend, not sure whether it’s mutual or not, having to watch his own feelings grow more intense and out of control—it was overwhelming.
He doesn’t remember when he eventually got used to it. Being close to Ryuji wasn’t a problem, or unusual, it even came off as natural for the two of them. For a while, it was enough. Then, it was one wrapping an arm around the other’s shoulder. Nothing too worrying, but Akira always feared Ryuji would be able to sense his heart beat faster and faster, and that alone only made his heartbeat increasingly higher.
There were times, although rare, that they held hands. There was one time Ryuji held out his hand for Akira, under the excuse that the streets were too crowded, and it’d be troubling if they lost sight of each other. After that, it became sort of a habit, even if Akira had grown accustomed to life in busy Tokyo. Holding hands was comforting, and it felt as though their hands were a perfect fit. His hands did get sweaty, though, but maybe Ryuji was somehow nervous enough… And maybe his hands were sweating as well.
When it comes to Ryuji, it was just as explosive. But while Akira would seem nervous on the spot, Ryuji would somehow hold it in and then gush and vent to Ann. In the beginning, it almost felt embarrassing, but Ann was so supportive that slowly he began to show more affection. Holding hands was his biggest struggle. The first time was seen as sort of a necessity. Losing sight of your friend in the middle of a crowded area was a recipe for disaster, and at the time he thought of it as the right decision. The following times, though, were random and extremely nerve-wrecking. For a moment, his palms were so sweaty that it surprised him that Akira hadn’t said anything, but maybe his hands were sweating as well.
To him, Akira was someone he deeply admired. Not just as a leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, but also as someone kind, who wanted to help others the same he would’ve wanted someone to had helped him in the past. He was a caring friend and a person who loved to make terrible jokes to lighten up the mood. He was someone who listened to everyone, offered his support.
He listened as Ryuji expressed his worries about the track team, offered his advice and endless support, even if it meant serving as a witness as Ryuji confronted two members of the track team in an attempt to make things right. And he was the one who helped clean the small cut Ryuji got on his eyebrow from that confrontation. He did tell Nakaoka and Takeishi they could beat him, he just didn’t expect them to take it to a literal sense.
Ryuji couldn’t help but feel somewhat awkward. Even if Akira tried his best to reassure him, saying he still looked cool despite getting a beating was embarrassingly sweet. And he kept going on and on about how he did the right thing, that he looked cool during the confrontation and Ryuji just felt his cheeks heat up... And Akira’s hands were just so warm and gentle as he applied the ointment to make sure the cut wouldn’t gain any infections.
And maybe Akira was just a bit too close for comfort, and it felt suffocating, but the closer he was the more Ryuji could see. It was amazing how soft his skin looked, even if Akira had said he barely did anything for skincare, claiming he’d rather spend money on tools for infiltrations every time Ann tried to ask for any skincare routines. Not that she needed any tips, of course, but she did once mention she would absolutely love to try makeup on Akira. The thought of it alone forced Ryuji to hold in a giggle, though he was sure Akira would look great, thanks to Ann’s magical skills.
He knew Akira could do well without his glasses, but still chose to wear them on his daily routine. Ryuji noticed his best friend’s demeanor would often change whenever he’d have his glasses on or not. Not just that, but there was a certain air around Akira on the rare occasions he’d take off his glasses outside of Palaces. One could see his eyes properly, instead of behind a lens, and they could actually see how pretty they were.
It was almost annoying how pretty his own best friend was, it’d drive him insane. All he could do was try to look away and try to ignore the fact Akira was just so close, that he was inches away from closing the minimal distance between them and his lips were just there and oh God what if they kissed ? Or that Akira’s hand was just so, so gentle as he cleaned the cut on his eyebrow.
“Okay, all done,” whatever thoughts were running through Ryuji’s mind vanished into a blank the second he couldn’t feel Akira’s presence next to him. Leblanc was empty, they preferred to just come to the café and use the first-aid kit than going to the infirmary and having to explain that no punches had been thrown in school grounds, even if that wasn’t entirely true. That would be a bit complicated to cover, probably.
“Thanks man,” Ryuji stayed put on his seat, quietly watching as Akira disappeared into the attic to put away the first aid kit. His gaze moved to his hands, thinking to himself on how much longer he could handle bottling all of it. Sometimes even being close to his best friend was unbearable and enough to make him malfunction, and he wondered how much longer he could stay that way until he burst into flames … or maybe jolts of lightning, that seemed more fitting.
With Akira returning to the café, he snapped back into reality. “It’s still early,” Akira murmured, moving to the coffee maker “I’ll make you some coffee before you go.” Even before Ryuji could say anything, Akira was already working on the kind of blend he wanted to prepare. Sojiro must’ve been so proud of how well he taught Akira, it was amazing how quick he caught on to the technique of making a nice cup of coffee. The curry, however, still needed some practice, but the boy was particularly persistent about wanting to improve his cooking skills.
Neither spoke a word for a while. Akira had prepared two cups, yet he still stood behind the counter. Ryuji would occasionally steal a glance while drinking his coffee. He almost looked like an employee, or maybe even the owner of a café, so confident over his work … It was admirable. Who knows, maybe Akira had a potential future by opening up a café of his own, with his own meals. Or maybe he could just take over Leblanc. It wasn’t a bad idea overall.
Akira smiled. Maybe for him, the silence was somewhat comforting. He was, at first, a rather quiet person. Even as more members started joining the gang, he was still a bit reserved, and he’d occasionally enjoy the silence, but not Ryuji. The silence was uncomfortable, and there was only so much he could do with just occasionally looking up at the boy whose glasses were slightly fogged up, due to the coffee.
Ryuji’s cup was still halfway through, even long after Akira had finished his. Akira found it a bit strange how quiet his best friend was, stopping what he was doing to try and find a reason for the grimace adorning Ryuji’s features.
“Ryuji, are you ok—”
Before he could say anything, though, or ask if he was okay, Ryuji looked up. What he said, however, was an absolute surprise and very much not what he expected to hear in the first place.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“What—”
“Huh—”
Silence. Absolute silence. If someone were to drop a pin on the floor, the sound of it hitting the tiles would echo all over the room. Akira was dumbfounded, lost for words, and this lack of a response caused Ryuji to hurriedly scramble for his jacket and make his way out.
“N-Nevermind! I’ll see ya later, ‘kay?”
“Wait, Ryuji, WAIT—” then he heard the bell ring. Suddenly, Akira was alone, and the silence spreading around Leblanc was no longer a comfortable one. It was oh so uncomfortable, and Akira felt as though that was his own fault.
Avoidance.
For the first time since he moved to Tokyo and met his friends, Akira noticed Ryuji was avoiding him. Ever since that little incident at Leblanc, with Ryuji clumsily confessing he was in love, his blond friend started avoiding him like his life depended on it. And it just wasn’t fair.
Akira couldn’t blame him, at first. Yes, maybe his reaction was a bit lacking and it could’ve led to a misunderstanding. However, what did Ryuji expect? The confession was sudden, anyone would’ve probably reacted that way, right?
Morgana wasn’t much help on the matter. Sure, he listened to Akira’s complaints every time Ryuji would dodge any invitations to hang out, but at some point even the cat was starting to feel miserable.
“You need to talk to him, Akira.”
“I’m trying! He just keeps running off,” it had been days since it happened. The radio silence from Ryuji’s side was killing Akira, and he was running out of options. Talking to him at school was practically impossible, he even tried to get Ryuji on the roof for some privacy! Treating him to some ramen didn’t work either, nor did going to the gym or even the arcade.
“Well,” Morgana stretched himself on Akira’s stomach, looking down at the pouting boy, before making himself comfortable to sleep. “We’re going to Mementos tomorrow, why not try there? It’s not like he can run off on his own, ya know?”
Akira stopped looking at his phone immediately. Morgana was a genius! He could talk to Ryuji at one of the rest points! None of them could run off on their own anyway, especially with how vast Mementos was, so Ryuji would have no choice.
Maybe it felt as if he was cornering his own best friend, and the thought of it didn’t really please Akira … But it wasn’t like he had much of a choice either. Before anything else, Ryuji was his best friend and soulmate, and that was what mattered first and foremost.
“Alright, let’s take 5.” It took Akira a few seconds to process Morgana’s usual call for a break. The journey through the new floor of Mementos was going rather well, save for an unfortunate run in with the Grim Reaper.
“I swear, if I have to hear those chains again …” he could hear Ann in the distance, stretching her arms a little before she reached out for some of the healing items the group decided to bring for the trip. It’s never pleasant to run into the Grim Reaper. The chains echoed all over the floor, and the damn thing was stupidly persistent in chasing them around. Even with Futaba’s guidance and warnings, they managed to reach the rest area by only a miracle.
Damn Mishima and the multitude of jobs he could find on the Phansite, to be honest. Akira didn’t mind it, of course, helping others by avoiding creating their own palaces was another primary goal of the Thieves, but there was a limit to how many requests they could answer in a day. This was, however, a great opportunity.
As Morgana looked back, Akira knew what to do. The team wasn’t so tired, but running into the Grim Reaper sure led to some injuries that could be problematic. Plus, they’d been in Mementos for quite a few hours already, so the rest area was the perfect spot to talk to Ryuji. They could even step back in order to talk a bit more privately, without raising much suspicion.
Walking towards Ryuji was easy. The problem was knowing what to tell him. But before he could lose his courage and chicken, Akira found himself tapping on Ryuji’s shoulder, startling the blonde. “Can we talk?... In private?” The others were a bit ahead already, so they wouldn’t be able to catch on to their conversation. With a slow nod, Ryuji followed his leader to the other side of the rest area until they sat down at the edge of the platform.
Not the best place to have a conversation, he’d say, but he knew he’d been ignoring Akira for quite a while, he’d be bound to eventually force him to talk. And if he could be honest with himself, he missed being close to his best friend. It was a bit suffocating to be near him, especially after saying well … That big word. It wasn’t even a “I like you”, it was literally a “I’m in love with you”. No dates, no nothing, just a sudden confession. Oh how Ryuji just wanted to crawl into a hole and die—
“You’re avoiding me,” Akira’s voice brought him back to reality. His tone wasn’t stern, he knew it wasn’t. But he sounded sad. And as much as Ryuji wanted to comfort his own friend, being nervous only made him embarrass himself even further.
“Who? Me?” Silence. “Pfft, nah dude, I’ve just been… Ya know, busy? Yeah, nothing more.” There was an awkward laugh, followed by the fidgeting of his thumbs. If Ryuji was trying to deem himself as calm and collected, he was doing a horrible job at it. Akira’s lack of reaction wasn't helping at all, either. “I’m telling ya, I’m not avoiding you.”
“You are, though,” is what Akira wanted to say, but he only looked down at his gloved hands. In reality, he’d thought the conversation would’ve gone differently, but sometimes things don’t go as planned. Maybe, just this once, being absolutely honest was the key to getting his point across.
“You didn’t let me say it back.”
Ryuji paused. What?
“You just walked out.” Akira kept talking, now looking forward. He could see his teammates on the other side of the rest area, all talking casually and checking their inventory for healing items. “I couldn’t say it back.”
“Akira wha—”
“I mean I think it was cute, but don’t people usually ask others out on dates first before dropping, ya know, the big word?” Now Akira had done it. Ryuji’s face was growing increasingly red and the look on his face was just priceless.
Akira would never let him live this down, he knew it.
“I—Uh,” how do you reply to something like this? Akira even looked a bit smug at the reaction he got from him, all happy and giddy. Ryuji wished he could kiss that stupidly pretty smirk off his face if he could. Well, technically, maybe he could. Not now, but maybe!
“Ryuji,” now Akira was looking right at him, a bit too close for comfort. He didn’t say much more about being avoided for too long, and Ryuji just knew he understood, even if it hurt a little. “After this, do you wanna grab something to eat? Just us?”
Was the world spiraling? Ryuji felt dizzy for a second, lightheaded. He thought that maybe this was his brain making up scenarios, that the conversation hadn’t happened yet. But it did, and Akira was sitting right next to him, eagerly waiting for his response. And even if he was still as red as a tomato, Ryuji nodded, a cheeky smile forming on his lips.
“You can choose where to go.” Ryuji couldn’t see it well, but the subtle blush on Akira’s cheeks was enough to make his heart melt. “And we can decide on more dates, maybe? Like … I dunno, have you seen the aquarium? We could go there next time.”
“Next time?” You’d think Akira was teasing, but the eagerness was too obvious. His best friend—soon, Ryuji hoped, to be boyfriend—was so excited about the idea of more dates that he practically jumped out of his spot and held out his hand for Ryuji, waiting for the blonde to hold it. “I like the sound of that.”
None of the other teammates mentioned anything when those two returned while holding hands. Although Ryuji couldn’t help but notice Morgana and Ann whispering to each other. He didn’t mind it, though. Akira was right next to him and, for all that mattered, he could burst into a fit of giggles.
And the presence right next to him brought a warmth he never thought he’d ever feel, and he didn’t want it to go away. At all.