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"What do you think you're doing, Buck?" Maddie asked as she raised an eyebrow at Buck. Eddie was already smirking when he looked up to see the other man's face.
"Uhm, going to the-"
"Well now you're not," Chim started pulling the plates and pushed them into Buck's direction, "we cooked," he said pointing at himself and Maddie, "you are on dish duty."
Eddie would like to consider Buck's annoyed but not surprised reaction to be Chim's and Maddie’s gift to him. One more item to Eddie’s list of reasons he made the right choice spending December 25 in Chim's and Maddie's house.
Christmas was always a strange date when you were a firefighter. And when it came to the 118, Eddie theorized it also usually brought some type of unforgettable event for at least someone on the team. This time around everything seemed to be more normal than usual. Most of them got to have the day off, with only Ravi and Lucy staying on duty. But without Tia Pepa and Abuela, and without a team celebration, Eddie was left a bit lost on what to do for the holiday.
Of course, his answer had been the same as the other recent times he felt lost: Buck.
Not that he hadn't thought about it, but the whole ordeal with Buck and his recent life changing decisions and the lack of an actual conversion about it between them was a gigantic elephant in the metaphorical room. So much so that his lack of plans for Christmas sneaked up on him two weeks before the holiday.
Buck was in their house for a movie night with him and Christopher the day the holiday topic came up, after Chris was already sleeping. They both felt too lazy to get up from the couch and while mindlessly watching some random TLC show, Buck turned to him with a sheepish expression and his phone in his hand.
“So…I might have bought Chris a Lego Jurassic Park set because it was on sale yesterday and didn’t have the time to ask you if I should.”
“You know way more about his Legos than I do, do you think he has the space?”
“If he is going to actually donate his old city set like he said last time-”
“He wants to donate it?”
“Uhm, yeah he asked if I wanted it last week,” Buck shrugged, “anyways, I think he will have the space for the Jurassic one. So you’re fine with it?”
“Sure, you're gonna out do me on the gift front, I can take the loss, but you have to give him socks on his birthday next year.” The snort that Buck produced made him jump a little bit.
“Fair. But they are going to be fun socks,” he said as he wrote something on his phone, “I can bring the set on Christmas eve, if you feel like letting me crash your plans.”
“I’m not going to Texas and they are not coming to me, so I don't really have a plan besides spending it with Chris.”
“Oh, so if I hypothetically asked you if I could spend it here it wouldn’t mess up any plans?”
“I thought you were going to Maddie’s.”
“I was thinking of maybe letting them spend Christmas eve by themselves now that they are both back. Jee’s first Christmas with her and all that.”
“I’m completely ok with you spending it here,” relieved if he was honest, “but don’t you want to be there for Jee’s first Christmas?”
“I can go visit on the actual day I guess,” he looked back at Eddie, “you could come too.”
And even though Eddie was having whiplash from how they were ignoring very important conversations and simultaneously making plans to spend the whole Christmas holiday together and for Buck to take Eddie and his son to his niece’s first Christmas day, in the end there they were, sitting at Chims and Maddie’s temporary table on December 25 in the previously named murder house. And Eddie was trying very hard to ignore that Buck’s faux annoyance was a little bit endearing by smirkin-
“Don’t look so smug Eddie, you are helping him with the dishes.” Chim pointed out.
Well, nothing could be perfect.
“Chris, if you continue to laugh you're coming with us.” Eddie warned him.
“Actually he has a very important task inside the blue present under the tree.” Maddie winked at Chris.
So on December 25 Eddie found himself drying his hands after tag teaming the dishes with Buck.
“At least they already got hot water running in this place,” Buck said as he stole the towel from him and walked towards the door.
“The Christmas decorations did a good job at hiding the unfinished places.” Eddie said while looking at the Santa Claus cutout hiding a dark spot Eddie knew was there after hearing about it from Buck a hundred times.
“You mean unfinished places as in most of the house?”
“Don't be dramatic, it is already a miracle they got this much done, and we are helping in January so they are almost there.” He stole the towel back so he could place it on its place before heading back. They stopped at the door.
“Sure Eds,” although his tone was doubtful Buck looked around as if trying to see the place in his perspective. “The decoration helps a little bit I guess-” Buck looked up, and immediately tried to contain a laugh, a mission which he failed miserably in seconds.
“What?” Eddie asked as Buck got his laugh under control and then tilted his head even lower than before, the way he always did when abashed.
Whenever he recognized Buck’s little mannerisms it never failed to bring up a warm feeling in Eddie's guts.
"There's a… uhm." A red tint surged up in Buck's neck and cheeks as he pointed up with an amused expression, and Eddie finally allowed himself to look up.
He wasn't surprised, it didn't take a genius to guess what could be found in the ceiling on a house decorated for Christmas. Especially something that caused a reaction like that. Especially in a highly decorated home like Maddie's and Chim's new house. A house where they were using Christmas decoration to hide the unfinished parts in it, which included a nail marks above the kitchen door that was probably hidden by, and Eddie's glance up only served to confirm it, a mistletoe.
In reality he had only intended for it to be just a glance, but his eyes lingered on the little green plant tied with a red bow above him. He felt his chest expand slowly with his next breath, he looked down as the air left his lungs, and found Buck's eyes focused on him, as if trying to gauge his thoughts direction and why he wasn't laughing with him. His look was uncertain, a look Eddie loathed to see from Buck, and yet so familiar to those who loved the man.
Maybe it was because of the look. Maybe a response to the amazing day they had yesterday, the happiness he felt seeing Buck and Chris going over the new Lego set with ardor earlier. Or maybe it was a consequence of waking up before Buck with him on the other side of the bed because the night before he had not allowed him to sleep on a couch on Christmas, and looking at him and wondering why Buck was making choices that were bound to hurt him and feeling powerless to stop it without an argument.
It didn’t really matter if it was because he had thought Buck looked beautiful in the morning, that he deserved so much and that Eddie suddenly felt anger towards everyone that didn’t give back what Buck gave so intensely. He wasn’t going to think about how he knew, on that morning, he would give so much more to Buck if he ever let him.
What did matter was the words that left his mouth before he could reflect on their implications.
"Isn’t it bad luck if you don't do it?"
"I thought you didn't believe in things like that."
"Don't you?" They both glanced at the now empty dining room.
"Yeah- but you-" Eddie raised one eyebrow, which automatically made Buck squint his eyes, "are you trying to play gay chicken right now?"
That gave Eddie pause. "Gay what?"
"Chicken. You know, seeing how far two straight dudes go before one gives up so they don't have to kiss the other" Buck looked down again. "Although you know I'm not straight so the odds are not in your favor."
"I don't think I'm straight either." Eddie’s voice was soft as if trying out for the first time how they felt outside of a therapy session.
"Oh…" Was all Buck said. He secretly hoped Buck would somehow know he was the first person without a psychology degree he told that to. “So, no chicken just...” gay, Eddie completed in his head.
And truth be told, at this point so many of the boundaries Eddie had raised over the years were reduced to dust, that chicken out of whatever was happening at that moment was not an option in his mind. So when he started moving, and he raised his hand to Buck's neck, inched closer towards him, Eddie felt like he was moving in slow motion. For the seconds their eyes found each other, his brain and his heart were on the same page. A page of confusion and excitement. The seemingly innocuous insistence that they shouldn't just shrug away the tradition started to take a recognizable shape in his head, one he had been avoiding all day. Still, the only concrete thought he let himself focused was ‘why not, I should get comfortable with this, it’s not weird it’s just…’, and the fact that he not only wanted to kiss a man, but Buck specifically, was left in the realm of vague ideas he tried to ignore in therapy and in his sleepless nights.
The mutual eye contact lasted long enough for Eddie to see Buck's widened eyes before Eddie's attention was redirected to his agape mouth that had a hint of a smile, a surprised one, verging on incredulous. Slowly he brought him closer, the small height difference making him have to raise his head slightly, something he had never had to do so he could kiss someone, at least not after high school. For a reason he could not think about on that December 25, the movement made his chest warmer. All those sensations seemed to propel him forward, and his lips landed on the corner of Buck's mouth. A simple peck, on the opposite side of where his hand met Buck's neck as if he was trying to keep both of them present in that moment.
It wasn't a proper kiss, but it couldn't be further from platonic. Even though it felt like forever it probably only lasted a few seconds. But as Eddie moved his head back a bit, Buck followed him like a magnet. This time Buck's lips landed on his own, not in the corner, but right in the middle. This time Eddie was surprised, and his mouth opened enough that their lips fitted perfectly and as they glided away - and Eddie would bet that he'd be able to taste the eggnog Buck had earlier on his own lips - Eddie felt his entire body gaining sensation again, which is when he noticed the unsure hand only a breath away from his arm. It's probably also when Buck noticed where his own hand was heading.
“I-I don't think th-the first one would count,” Buck redirected his hand to put it behind his head as if he had a scratch there, “you know, to the Mistletoe.”
It took more seconds than usual for Eddie to reply, since he was distracted by the way the other man's shirt hugged his body when he raised his arms like that.
"Right." He said when he snapped out of it. A smirk appeared on his face even though he tried to hide his smugness when he saw Buck's blush disappear under that damned shirt. "You wouldn't want to risk disappointing the Mistletoe gods."
"Yeah."
Eddie's hand was still cradling his neck, mindlessly caressing it with his fingers, it was not a big gesture, but every brush of it seemed to cement the dawning realization that-
"Dad! Can Jee come to our house so I can show her my Legos?" Christopher's voice came from the living room, no one had enough energy to leave the couches and carpet apparently, small miracles Eddie thought thankfully. Yet even without eyes on them, the interruption was able to bring them back and reminded them of where they were.
He dropped his hands to Buck’s chest carefully, “Screaming is impolite,” took a step back.
“But you’re doing it,” the boy replied, provoking a laugh out of Buck that stopped the moment Eddie finally let his hand drop to Buck’s own.
He tightened his grip for a moment, wishing that Buck would take it as a sign that they could talk about it later, maybe not today, but this wasn’t over. Whatever he decided. He let go of Buck as he made his way to the dining room only after glancing at him one more time.
He didn’t need to turn to know Buck was following closely behind.
Once in the living room Buck sat right beside Chris on the floor. “I can take her to the house with me next time I’m there,” he looked in Maddie’s direction, “If you're ok with it.”
“I gave him the idea Evan. Just don’t let her eat one of the pieces.”
As the Bucklys discussed dates, and Chim played some weird word game with Chris, Eddie eventually sat with them across a distracted Jee. Buck knew when they were free, he could decide when he’d take her there, so Eddie let himself play with Jee and occupied his mind with ways to make her laugh. He tried to not overthink anything.
So on December 25 Eddie kissed Buck.
On December 25 they didn’t talk about it.
On December 25 they added another elephant to the metaphorical room.