Archive of Our Own ^beta

Some days, Will was sure that being a doctor was a mistake. He ached all over and he’d seen so much death and suffering, and he was tired . Some days, he stood outside of the hospital and questioned why he was even there. He considered leaving through the glass doors and never returning. If he didn’t come back, then he might never have to hear another parent wailing over their child who had coded in the ED, the staff unable to revive them. He would never have to see a young runner decide between their life and their legs, or a single mother of three learn that her cancer had come back. All the grief and loss wore someone down until what was left behind ached. When days like that happened, when nothing went right, when he was sure this was the wrong path for him, he sought out what was good in life: cold beer, a good laugh, and preferably an incredible orgasm with the best-looking man at the bar. Sometimes, he arranged it so there was the right man at the bar, waiting for him. 

Will: Molly’s tonight?

Sean: wat time

Will: 8?

Sean: see you there sexy

Will rolled his eyes and got back to work. Just before eight o’clock, he changed from his scrubs and headed out, brushing past Connor Rhodes on his way in. 

“How was it today?” Connor asked.

“If I tell you the truth, you’ll want to turn and run, so,” Will paused before he said, “it was wonderful. No problems. Definitely not about to drink my problems away.”

“Ahh, message received. Have a good night off, Doctor Halstead.”

“Thanks, Con.”

He headed out, double-checking his phone to make sure that Sean hadn’t backed out yet. If he had, Molly’s would be of no use to him, really. He could get a beer, sure, and hang out with some of the firefighters and cops that frequented it, but as far as he knew, none of the usual patrons were gay, and if they were, they hid it just well enough that Will wasn’t going to try prodding. He just needed a direction, and thankfully enough for him, that direction was right to Molly’s. It was familiar enough and warm enough inside that he didn’t feel uncomfortable, especially after sliding into the seat beside Sean in the corner.

“Long time no see,” he said.

He was a beautiful man, truly, with dark, flawless skin and perfect dark brown eyes that caught the light just right and looked like an endless abyss. He was beautiful, and Will couldn’t deny himself that. It’s just that he was not exactly boyfriend material. They’d tried it once, but Sean was too flighty, too wild. He liked his freedom, and that was fine. He liked a hook-up without strings every now and again, to buy Will’s drinks and feel him up underneath the table before they stumbled into a cab on the way to someone’s apartment, sometimes Will’s, sometimes wherever Sean was staying that month. It wasn’t what Will wanted for the long term, but until Mr. Long-Term came around, Sean taking him to bed when they needed it was a good substitute. Besides, he was never one to turn down a neck kiss and a free beer. 

“Hey, Sean.”

“You look good. What’s the occasion?”

Will looked down at his outfit, just jeans and a t-shirt underneath his usual dark jacket, and shrugged. 

“I dunno, just what I grabbed this morning.”

“Well, at the very least, I got the pleasure of seeing it,” Sean said, and he leaned his head against his hand on top of the tabletop with a flirty smile. “Although, I suspect I’m getting you out of those tight pants tonight.”

“I was hoping,” Will said.

“You don’t typically contact me unless you need it.”

“Well, okay, you are still my friend. It’s not all about your dick.”

“It is, and that’s okay, baby. I’m very glad to take you apart.” Will rolled his eyes and took up the beer Sean had gotten him to take a long sip from it. “You act like you’re not turned on, but I know you are. I know what gets you going, Will.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re so charming and so irresistible,” Will said. 

“You’re the one who wanted to meet up tonight. I can go home if you’re going to act like you’re not desperate for me to fuck you.” Will leaned into Sean’s side a little as if to keep him in the space, and he chuckled sweetly in return. “Yeah, okay, I’m not going to go home. I’m weak to your big brown eyes and that goddamn mouth. I want to stay and see what you’ll do.”

“Should I put it to use tonight?” Will asked. “Get on my knees, ask for forgiveness?”

“Oh, you’re definitely going to have to work for it tonight, yeah. I was thinking of that little hotel around the corner from here, and you knelt between my legs to prove that you do want it. Then, when you’ve earned my approval, I’ll fuck you into the right mindset to go back to work tomorrow. That’s what you need, right? A reminder that there’s good in life? That there’s life to live?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then, drink up and we can go. I’ll book a reservation.”

Will drank his beer while he opened his phone with one hand and rubbed Will’s thigh slowly and methodically. He moved his hand higher and higher until Will had to catch his wrist to avoid them getting caught by one of the many cops in the bar, milling about among themselves. 

“I have one rule,” Will said, draining the rest of his beer just as Sean set his phone on the table, satisfied that he’d set up their reservations correctly. “You know that rule.”

“I do. I’ll behave.”

“Good. You good to go, then?”

“I am,” Sean said, and he nudged Will with a grin. “I’m always good to go, you know that.”

“Yeah,” Will said, and he slid out of the seat. “I know. Do you need to close your tab?”

“No, I just got the two drinks and closed it. Figured you wouldn’t want to be absolutely plastered for this.”

“You know me so well.”

“I do. Now, come on, I have an idea of what you need tonight.”

He held out his hand and Will knocked it away playfully before following Sean out of the bar. Outside, he caught Sean’s hand and Sean chuckled.

“Still not out to your brother, huh?”

“No, not quite,” he said, and Sean tugged him close. He pressed a slow kiss into WIll’s lips, gentle as ever even with their end goal being a hotel room and what Will hoped would be a mind-numbing orgasm. He enjoyed Sean’s company because it was sweet and hot at the same time. “Plus, a cop bar is not really where I want to hold a boy’s hand in public for the first time.”

“But the street outside the bar?”

“No one’s out here,” he said, gesturing to the nearly empty street. “No one who knows Jay, at least.”

They started walking, hand in hand before Sean slipped his hand from Will’s just to pull him close by the waist, hand sliding into his back pocket. He squeezed Will’s ass, and Will sighed, leaning into Sean’s side eagerly. 

“I think there’s a shortcut right through here,” Sean said, gesturing to a side alley that cut between two buildings. 

“Yeah, okay, but it better not be a ruse to fuck me in the alley, sir.”

“Ahh, you’re too clever. You’ve bested me again, Doctor Halstead.”

Will laughed and they ducked into the alley. About halfway, the alley met up with another alley at an intersection. Sean pressed him into the wall for a longer, more intense kiss, pulling a groan from his lips. Will pulled at his shirt, even if he’d been against any kind of public sex. He wanted Sean, though, wanted to feel his touch and his mouth wherever he could get it. 

“Well, what do we have here?” a voice growled from the dark, and Sean pulled away from Will. “Two queers dry humping like bitches in heat in the dark.” 

Will flinched, and Sean frowned, stepping away from Will. 

“We’re not looking for any trouble,” Sean said, and Will finally located the voice. Three men, much wider than Sean or himself and taller, with thick arms and legs like tree trunks, stood behind Sean in one of the alley outlets. “We’ll just go, and you won’t have to see us again.”

“No,” the man said, shaking his head as he and his group stepped forward. They moved like shadows, and Will could see them going to block the exits. He shoved Sean towards the one they hadn’t covered yet.

“Run,” he breathed, and Sean didn’t need to be told twice. He turned, and sprinted away as fast as he could, with Will right on his heels. It was lucky he’d been training with Nina for the marathon they wanted to run in. Or at least, it was until a hand clamped on the back of his jacket and he was yanked back. Unintentionally, he let out a cry, reaching out for Sean’s receding figure, until he slammed back into the hulking chest of one of the men. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“You don’t want to do this, man,” Will breathed. “C’mon, let me go, and I won’t, I won’t say anything. We’ll just go, like he said. We won’t come back here.”

“That’s funny, but no, you pissed me off trying to run. We have to teach little faggots like you what happens when you’re disgusting in public. Let him ram his little dick into you when I beat you to death right here in this alley.”

“Wait, no, hold - hold on,” Will struggled as he spoke, squirming forward to try and break the man’s hold on his clothes. If not, he wanted to try and slip out of his jacket. He could probably outrun these guys if he could just get away. They were built like walls, and he had long legs, so maybe – except before he could really make any headway, the man gripped his hair with his free hand and then slammed him sideways into the brick wall of one of the buildings. “ Fuck . Wa-wait. I, what do you want? Do you want money? Or, or –”

“No,” the man chuckled. “Bruce, get the pipe.”

“No, hold, hold on. Hold on, man.”

Will’s head ached, a thunderstorm brewing inside his skull, and he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. Not yet. He had to get safe. He had to get out. He wasn’t far from Molly’s. He could make it, but he just had to get free from the men. Anything they did to him before that he could survive. He could survive. 

He had to.

He struggled, and struggled, trying to yell as loudly as he could so he might attract someone to what was happening, even if it was just a bystander with a cell phone who could call 911. 

“Shut up! Bruce!”

“It’s stuck, man, I don’t know,” another voice, Bruce said. 

“Stuck in what ?”

“I don’t know,” Bruce said.

“Fine,” the man grappling Will growled and he yanked Will back by his hair as he tried to push himself off. He shoved Will down onto his knees and he cried out loudly. He reached up to try and grab the hand in his hair, trying to pry the fingers out. Before he could, though, the man kicked him hard in the lower back and he collapsed into the pavement below, scraping his chin on the ground. “Trying to get away again, huh?”

Will tried to push himself up but the boot in the middle of his back was too heavy and pressed him hard into the pavement. He wasn’t strong enough, and when he tried to squirm, all he managed to do was scrape his skin. 

“Please,” he begged, his voice breaking harshly as he pushed and pulled, trying to get away, trying. The man leaned over and grabbed his hair again just to smash his face hard into the concrete. He felt his skin split, and the wet slick of blood started to slide down his face from his cheekbone and jaw. “Please, stop. Stop.”

The man dragged him up onto his knees just as one of his buddies swung around to punch him hard in the face, snapping his head to the side with the force of it. The leader’s grip on his hair held him in place as another blow came from another man, this time there was the sharp bite of metal against his cheek as brass knuckles collided with bone. Will cried out, again and again, trying to free himself, but the blows kept coming. 

Then, blessedly, he heard the whoop of a siren as a police car pulled up to the end of the alley, the red and blue lights flashing down the brick and stone walls around him. 

“Chicago Police Department, hands in the air,” an officer shouted. It meant that the men released Will and he collapsed to the ground on his hands and knees, panting as he heard the clatter of scattering footfalls, their boots clomping nearby. Will crawled away, slowly, aching, as the police rushed towards him, one of them calling in an ambulance for him just as he fell into the ground, his eyelids closing as the adrenaline drained from him. 

When he woke, he was in some place bright and moving, rumbling loudly to the point that his entire head was ringing with it. He groaned and tried to sit up, but found his arms strapped down. The last thing he remembered was the car crash of knuckles into his face, and he felt his heart start to jackrabbit in his chest. Where were they taking him? What did they want from him? What were they going to do?

He struggled against the bindings, panic blurring his eyes, until a face came into view, close enough to make out the features, and he – he knew that face.

“Cesar?” he muttered. 

“Hey Doctor Halstead,” the man said, and he looked around. They were in an ambulance, and it was pulling to a stop. “You’re alright. We’re taking you to Med, okay? We’ll get you patched up and back on your feet. Chicago needs you.”

“Cesar, I – what happened?” he asked.

“Do you remember the attack?” Cesar asked softly. 

“No, I do, but – what happened to them? Did they get them?”

“Not as far as I know, sorry, Doc. But they’ll keep looking. No one goes after one of our own, yeah? You’re family to PD and FD.”

“Yeah,” Will muttered. He didn’t want to talk about the men, and – Sean? Where was Sean? Where did he get to? Was it Sean who called the police and rescued Will? He hoped that Sean was okay, even if he was too panicked or upset to call the cops. It had been Will’s fault they’d ended up there anyway, leaning into Sean when he shouldn’t have. “Thanks, Cesar.”

“Alright, we’re here,” Desmond called and parked. Will tried to sit up again and Cesar tutted at him, and Will knew how to read paramedics by now. 

“You need to stay still, Doc. You got banged up pretty good, okay, and we need you to stay as still as you can until you can get checked out. You could have a concussion, internal bleeding, bruised or cracked ribs, a neck injury; it could be anything. You know that. So, please, for me, stay still until you’re cleared by the ED.”

“Yeah, I know. I know. Thanks, Cesar.”

He had to lay still as they loaded him off the ambulance, and he was glad for it, even if it was incredibly embarrassing to be wheeled back into his hospital like this, because his head was pounding in a way he hadn’t experienced before. He’d been in plenty of fights, but this –

This wasn’t a fight, he thought to himself. They were trying to kill him, and they wanted it to be slow and painful. They wanted him to feel every last ache they inflicted upon him before they left him in the alley until the morning, or even later when some poor bystander walked by. 

He heard Cesar telling the doctors on duty, his coworkers and friends — god, they were going to see him like this, and the cops were going to ask questions, and people were going to find out that he was gay, which was just the cherry on top of this shit sundae for him — about his condition, which he was glad of because he couldn’t concentrate to tell them anything himself. 

“Will,” a voice said, and Will looked over from where he was looking at the ceiling, startled to find Connor Rhodes there beside him. “Hey bud. You look a little rough.”

“Yeah,” Will agreed, his voice small. “Bad day.”

“Looks like it got worse,” Connor commented. “Let’s get you looked at, see if we can fix what’s wrong.”

He snorted, because Connor had a lot of skills, but fixing homophobia wasn’t one of them. At least, not as far as he had ever seen. Although, he certainly had the bank account balance that could solve a lot of problems for a lot of people. He doubted that homophobic gangs in the dark back alleys of the city were something that money, even the Rhodes fortune, could fix. 

“Alright, transfer on my count,” Connor said, and they lifted Will out of the gurney and into a bed. “There we go. Thanks, Cesar.”

“No problem. Take good care of the doc, okay?”

“We will,” Connor said, and he leaned over Will as the paramedics wheeled the gurney out of the ED and back to the ambulance. “How are you feeling, Will?”

“Like someone punched me in the face with brass knuckles,” Will said honestly. Connor’s careful hands, gloved so he wasn’t actually touching Will, came up to touch Will’s cheek. Because, of course, all the doctors that could be on duty, it had to be Connor Rhodes, the one doctor whose touch lit up fireworks in Will’s spine.

“Certainly looks that way,” Connor replied. “Alright, let’s clear your c-spine, okay? Can you tell me what happened?”

He kept his hands on Will’s neck as he turned his head carefully until Connor was satisfied.

“Some guys jumped me in an alley,” he replied softly. He swore he could hear the nurses’ gossip network roar to life with Will being wheeled into the ED on a stretcher. He was sure his face looked like it had been run through a meat grinder, bloodied and bruised.

“Okay, did they just get your face?” Connor asked, handing the collar to the nurse assigned to him, Monique it looked from his angle. 

“No,” Will said. “One of them kicked me in the back, and I think they got me in the stomach.”

“Okay, I’m going to make sure there’s no internal bleeding first, and then we’ll take a look at your back. How’s that sound, Will?”

“You’re the doctor,” Will mumbled.

“Glad to see you following my lead for once.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, but it wasn’t angry or mean-spirited for once. He smiled as well as he could and groaned as he felt the split in his lip pull. “Fuck. How bad does my face look?”

“It’s not bad ,” Connor said, pushing up Will’s shirt as Monique wheeled the ultrasound over. “But you’re going to be sore for a while.”

“Yeah, I figured that when one of them smashed my head into the wall if I’m honest.”

“Okay, we’ll have to get you up for CT to make sure you don’t have a concussion. Uhm, how – how many times did they hit you?”

“Oh, that I don’t know,” Will said. “Into the wall and ground, a couple of times, but with fists? Over twenty, maybe thirty, before the cops showed up.”

“Jesus Christ,” Connor breathed.

“Has someone called Jay already?” Will asked.

“We haven’t, but I’m sure Cesar or dispatch might have let him know.”

“Can you get my phone from my pocket and see if he’s called me?” Will asked. “I’m sure he’s going to lose his shit when he finds out.”

And he should check on Sean, but that would have to wait until he was cleared and alone to reach out to him. 

“Sure, hold on.”

Connor pushed his phone up and out of his pocket and clicked on the screen. 

“Two missed calls, nothing from Jay, but both from some guy named Sean?” Connor said. 

“Sean called?” Will asked.

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“Fuck, can I –”

He started to sit up when Connor put his free hand right on his chest, holding him in place. 

“Ey, no. Not yet. You need to stay laying down until we clear you. Especially if they fucked with your spine, okay? I’ll give this back as long as you promise to lay still.”

“Yes, sir,” Will grumbled. 

“Good,” Connor said, and he handed the phone back. Will stayed still as best as he could while he opened his phone and messaged Sean that he was okay, he’d survived, and he was in the hospital just to get checked out. Connor pressed the ultrasound wand into Will’s abdomen, checking out his belly to make sure that the attack hadn’t damaged any of his organs. “Good, okay. Looks good. Let’s get an x-ray just to be sure, and then I’ll get you up to CT.”

Will passed his phone over to Monique as they swung the portable x-ray around to face his chest. There was a chime, and Monique read the text for him. 

“He says he made it back to Molly’s safe?” she said.

“Thank god,” Will muttered and dropped his head back, finally able to relax a little and let the thrum of panic loose. 

“What’s going on?” Connor asked.

“He’s, uh, well –” 

He was cut off when he heard Jay’s voice, followed by Hailey just outside of the door. 

“Where is he – oh, Jesus Christ! Thank God! Will!” 

The x-ray machine was moved away as Connor moved to look it over, letting Jay into the bay to Will’s side.

“What the fuck, man? Are you okay? Why – what happened? What’s going on with your face?” 

“Gee, it’s good to see you too, Jay,” Will groaned.

“Looks like your ribs are good, and there’s no fluid around your lungs or heart. I’m going to sit you up slowly, and we’ll take a look at your back,” Connor said, coming back and letting the x-ray technician, Mike go. Gently and carefully, he sat Will up, and had him lean forward with his shirt pushed up to his shoulder blades. Connor made a noise, like disbelief, and Will didn’t want to see what his back looked like. He’d felt more than one boot slam into his back, so he could only imagine the result. “Can you scale your pain for me, Will?” 

“Like a six, probably. Not –”

“So, like an eight,” Connor said, “knowing you. Jay, you can come in now.”

“What happened?” Jay asked immediately. “Who did this? I heard you were –”

“Jay, one question at a time, man,” Connor said. “Will’s been really hurt, and possibly has a concussion, so keep that in mind.”

“Right. Sorry. I just heard you were brought here by ambulance from Desmond, and I panicked. What happened?”

“I was walking home from Molly’s and some thugs caught me in an alley, and kicked the shit out of me,” Will said.

“Where were you walking?” Jay asked, standing on the other side of the bed from Connor, out of Monique’s way while she was taking his vitals and taking note of them for his chart. “Why were you in an alley?”

“Shortcut,” Will said.

Jay’s eyes narrowed, but Will was more focused on the way that Connor was gently touching his spine all the way from his shoulder blades all the way down to the top of his jeans. He seemed satisfied, and let Will’s shirt drop back down over his bruised back. 

“You can lay back down, Will. I’m going to order the CT scan, just to make sure. When you get back down from the CT, I’ll let the police come in to talk to you, but until then, relax and rest. Your body went through a lot , and you need to recover. Look at me, Will. Do not get out of this bed.”

“I’m not going to get out of the bed,” Will parroted back at him.

“Good boy,” Connor said. “Jay, if you stress him out before I can clear him, I’m throwing you out. Understood?”

“It’s understood,” Jay said. 

“Good. Someone will be by soon to take you up to CT, Will. Lay back and relax, but don’t sleep, okay?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’ll have Monique come by to check on you,” Connor said as he helped Will lay back into the pillows. 

“I’ll take good care of you,” Monique said gently, touching him on the wrist. “You’re in good hands with me, Doctor Halstead.”

“The best hands,” Will agreed, and she smiled, her dimples coming out. “Thank you, both of you.” 

She patted his hand before both she and Connor stepped out, leaving Will with Jay, and Hailey who was lingering by the door to give them some semblance of privacy. He looked at Jay and sighed.

“There’s something I should tell you,” he said, “because it’s going to come out when I talk to the police, and you should know first. I wasn’t – I wasn’t going home. I was headed to a hotel, with a friend.”

“Okay,” Jay said slowly. “Is this friend a sex worker or something?”

“No, no, it's not a euphemism. They’re actually my friend, but they’re a man. His name is Sean.”

He let that settle over Jay, and watched Jay’s mental math start whirring behind his eyes. 

“So, you were going to this hotel with this guy, Sean , to –”

“To have sex with him, yeah,” Will said, and Jay nodded. “Is that –”

He paused, not sure he actually wanted Jay to answer.

“What? Oh, yeah, no. That’s fine. So, these guys in the alley?”

Before Will could answer, though, or question how Jay was just glossing over the fact that Will had been headed to a hotel to get railed by a man, there was an ungodly high-pitched whine and then –

BOOM !

It seemed like the entire world seemed to rock with the sound, and Will reached for the rails on the bed to steady himself as if it were him who was quaking. It could have been, his body was already weak and he was incredibly shaken up from the ordeal earlier, but there was a flurry of movement outside his room as there was shouting from nurses and doctors alike. Will started to push himself up and out of the bed when Jay pressed his hand to Will’s chest.

“No, man,” he started to say.

“No, I have to help. People could be hurt. Patients, other doctors, I’m okay enough to help.”

“Will, there’s fire and smoke,” Jay said, “and you are already fucked up. No offense, but you look like you lost a fight to an MMA fighter.”

“Yeah, but I’m still a doctor, Jay. I have to help.”

“You could have a concussion,” Jay started. “And you heard Connor, you have to stay in the bed.”

“Well, Connor didn’t know something was going to explode when he said that, did he?” Will said, pushing Jay’s hand off his chest before he stood up and started towards the door. “So, either help me or stay out of the way, Jay. Because there are people in need, and I will help them.”

He was glad that Jay stepped back to let him go, and he headed for the main blast area, grabbing a mask from behind the nurse’s station to protect his lungs. He put his mind back into being a doctor, even if moving ached and throbbed in his head. Connor looked at him as he ducked down beside him at a patient’s side, her eyes dazed as blood dripped down her face from a piece of metal shrapnel embedded in her forehead.

“Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Something exploded. I assumed you’d need an extra set of hands.”

“Your hands need rest.”

“Yeah, I can definitely rest when the hospital is exploding.”

“It was an oxygen canister,” Connor said. “Someone was smoking, I think, too near one. You can go –”

“And the people who were hurt? They should just sit around and wait for you to be free? I’m here. I’m still a doctor. I can work through a headache, Connor.”

“Fine, but if you get yourself hurt, I’m going to tie you to a bed.”

“Can you two stop flirting and get to work?” Maggie asked as she hustled past them.

“Yeah, sorry, Maggie,” Connor said. “If you feel worse, you stop. Okay? Do you understand me?”

“Yeah, I get it. I’ll be a good boy,” Will said. “Now, go triage. I’ll take care of her.”

“Okay. And Will?”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

It wasn’t exactly easy, he’d say, getting patients loaded up into stretchers as ambulances were taking them to the other hospitals while the rescue team from the fire department cleared all the spaces. He worked as best as he could, running on the absolute high that was adrenaline, ignoring the ache in his body. He and Connor worked in tandem, clearing patients for travel as the paramedics wheeled in new stretchers out to safety and into the waiting ambulances that kept coming in waves. As fucked up as it was to say, he had missed this part of being overseas with Doctors Without Borders. He missed the steady work of triage, working beside his fellow doctors to save lives amidst a crisis. 

All the same though, he appreciated none of the paramedics making him do any of the heavy lifting because he would certainly just collapse if he had to transfer anyone. He was sure Maggie and Connor had given them a heads-up about his situation. He didn’t feel great, but he could keep going through it, which he was sure was an effect of the adrenaline in his system. He just hoped he didn’t crash when it left. It had already been embarrassing enough to have to be carted into the ED and gawked at by his coworkers, but if he dropped in front of them, too? He’d never come back from that. He wouldn’t want to. He kept working, though, because that's what he did best. He'd done it in Sudan. He'd done it for Jay and Voight. He'd done it his first day at Med. It was what kept him going day after day, the thrill of working, the high of saving lives. Even when work sucked, and when life was terrible, and his love life was empty, he could keep getting up out of bed and catching the L to work because of this feeling. 

Finally, with the last patient loaded, the firefighters shooed all of the doctors from the waiting room where they’d been dragging victims to triage. Connor caught Will by the elbow and guided him firmly from the hospital and out into the open air. Will let himself be led to a curb, and sat down, the cement cool underneath him. The night was a little chilly, enough that Will was glad to be wearing his jacket still, but it felt nice against his feverish skin. 

"Let me look at you," Connor said. 

"Nothing happened since your last exam," Will said, trying to bat away Connor's hands and failing. 

"Except that something exploded and you overexerted yourself."

"I'm fine, you don't need to mother hen me."

"I'm not mothering you, Will. I'm a doctor, and I'm making sure you're not about to die."

"It's not that bad. I'm still conscious, aren't I?"

"That's not – you are really the worst patient. Just let me examine you, you ass."

Will rolled his eyes and tilted his body towards Connor anyway. He didn't mention that his entire existence felt like shrapnel, that he felt fragile like porcelain, that if Connor touched him too rough, he might shatter into dust. He didn't mention that he was sure the lights from the ambulances were going to melt his eyes from their sockets, or that the sirens were icepicks straight into his skull. 

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Connor asked softly.

“What? With the explosion?” Will replied, even though he knew that was not what Connor meant. 

“No,” Connor said, and that was all. 

“It’s not worth talking about,” he said. “Just some guys who didn’t like me.”

Connor hummed, and Will sighed. 

“Connor,” he started, when someone in the ambulance nearby laid on the horn, and Will groaned, dropping his head and covering his ears hard with his hands. He shut his eyes and curled down into himself. His entire body felt foreign, and he whined. He felt hands on him, gentle, protective, but all he could feel was the hard edge of unconsciousness coming for him slowly. He reached out and grabbed hard onto Connor as he let it take him again.

When he woke up again, he could hear the steady beep of a heart monitor and quiet discussion nearby. There was the familiar scent of antiseptic, but also Jay’s cologne. Slowly, he could piece together everything without opening his eyes. Jay and Connor were talking off to the side, close enough that Will could smell his cologne, and they had moved him into the hospital, in a room of his own. 

“I know that, but he needs to rest so those uniforms out there can wait until he’s awake,” Connor said. “I’m not waking him –”

“I’m not saying to wake him, but when he does, they need to be notified so we can –”

“I get it, it’s important that whoever did this is caught, but to me, what's more important is your brother's health and his recovery.”

“Look, it’s a hate crime, Rhodes, what happened to him, and I need – I can’t let the fuckers who did this get away with it.”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“It’s, it’s not – look, I shouldn’t have said anything, probably, it’s not my place. But it’s important.”

Will let out a slow breath, because he knew it was going to get out eventually, and he'd honestly rather it be Jay telling who needed to know instead of it being perpetuated wildly by a rumor mill. He turned his head, and the conversation paused as he opened his eyes slowly. The lights were dimmed, and he could tell immediately they'd put him in one of the quieter rooms away from the nurses' station so that he didn't have to be disturbed by commotion. 

"Hey," Connor said, moving closer and sitting the bed up so he wasn’t flat on his back. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got beat the shit out of and then there was an explosion," he muttered.

"Yeah," Connor replied. "Sam will be by in a few hours with the day shift to look you over, but you need rest, okay? You are officially admitted, and I'm going to have someone checking up on you throughout the night and into the morning. You gave us a good scare passing out like that."

Will looked at him, and paused at the expression on his face. There was a softness, a kind of gentle affection in his eyes that Will couldn’t look away from. Instead, he let the moment sit, and then when he had soaked it in enough, he sighed and turned his eyes down to look down at his hands. 

“When do you leave?” Will asked.

“Six am. I’ll be by in a little bit. Jay wants to talk to you, and I can let the police officers come up, too, if you want to talk to them. If not, if you’re not ready –”

“No, it’s okay. Jay’s right. I need to talk to them.”

“You heard,” Jay started, and then his face flushed.

“It’s okay, Jay. I trust you to tell only who needs to know,” Will said. “And Connor’s safe to tell. I trust him.”

“Okay,” Jay said. “I am sorry, though, for telling anyone at all before we could talk about it more.”

“I appreciate it, man.”

Will looked at Connor and smiled a little. 

“Thanks, Con. I’ll talk to them.”

“Okay. And there’s a guy, Sean? He wants to see you, too.”

“Yeah, I’ll see him. He’s not going to be pleased about the cops, but – yeah, sorry. Send him up, I guess.”

“Okay, I’ll check in on you later,” Connor said, and he pat Will’s shoulder gently, warmly. “Try and relax.”

“I make no promises,” Will said, “but thank you.”

Connor headed out of the room, pulling the door shut to give them the privacy WIll deserved, and Will looked up at Jay sheepishly. 

“Hey, man,” Will said. “Sorry I’ve been such a problem today.”

“A problem? You didn’t do anything.”

“I mean, I did. I hid that I’m gay, and let you only find out when something went really wrong.”

“So, you’re gay,” Jay said, grabbing a chair and sliding it up closer to Will’s bedside. "And you were out with a guy tonight. Is this a serious thing with him? Or –"

"No, I meant it. He's just my friend," Will said, flushing hard as he realized the implications there. They weren't untrue, of course, but he didn't need his brother knowing he was literally just using Sean for sex and taking the edge off the day. "I'd tell you if I were dating someone, but there's no one."

"Okay. Well, if that changes," Jay said, and he looked at Will as he trailed off. "I'm sorry that if I ever made it feel like you couldn't be honest with me. Whatever I've been doing, I'll correct it. I want you to feel comfortable around me."

"Jay, it's not," Will paused and had to push back the urge to be dishonest in order to spare Jay's feelings. "It's not you , not really. It didn't start with you, at least. We were raised in the church, and our entire time growing up, how many times did we hear that it's man and wife, that marriage is just between a man and a woman, that homosexuality is abnormal and a sin? It became ingrained in me, and I suspect in you, too, however unconsciously. So, it's not anything you do or don't do, it's just that relationship between how we were raised and you being there with me."

"Yeah, I get that "

"I, uh, had to do a lot of thinking about it in therapy recently, about what was preventing me from coming out. It turned out that, if you'll guess, I was afraid of this happening. Turns out, getting beat the shit out of because I'm gay sucks, but you're here , and so was everyone in the ED, trying to take care of me despite it. So, the worst thing that could happen to me because I'm gay happened, and you're all still here."

"Yeah, man, because we love you. We love you and don't give a shit about who you date. You’re a good man and a great doctor. People see that, and that’s what people care about more than who’s going to bed with you at night. We’re going to find who did this to you, and they’re going to be punished for this because no one should be scared into the closet. You deserve better than that.”

Will chuckled and rested his head back against the pillow with a sigh.

“Will you stay with me, while I’m talking to the officers? I don’t know if I can talk about it alone, or at least, not without a little, uhm, back up."

"Yeah, absolutely. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I don't know if I should be here when Sean is up here, but I'll stay through your statement."

"Thanks, Jay," Will said, and he closed his eyes for a moment. "God, everything fucking hurts."

"I bet," Jay said. "Actually, I know a little bit of what you're feeling, and yeah, it's a bitch."

Will had flashes of Jay after he'd been kidnapped and tortured for information, the way he'd held his ribs and had to have help dressing for a while, unable to lift his arms over his head. 

"I'm sorry," Will said, and Jay's eyebrows furrowed. "I know you probably have work, and cases, you need to be attending to, and I was stupid enough to take a shortcut through an alley, and –"

"Ay, stop," Jay said, and Will's words died. "You don't have to apologize for what someone did to you, okay? This is not your fault. And there's no place else I'd rather be than right here beside you. You're my brother, and you'll always be my brother. You don't have to apologize for any of this, and any work or cases I have can wait. You're my top priority right now."

"Yeah, but what about –"

"No buts. If I were there, I'd wish I were here anyway. This is where I want to be. End of story."

"Okay," Will said, because in all of his years, he'd never seen a single person, save for their mom, that could get Jay to do something he didn't want to do. Jay wasn't there because he had to be; he was there because he wanted to be. "Thank you, then."

Jay pat his shoulder gently, the one place of his body that wasn't throbbing with pain, and it soothed the rest of the aches in him that weren't physical. Having his family there wouldn't fix everything, but it was a start. 

The police officers assigned to his case, two detectives with a fair number of years on the force, were quick and thorough. Jay stayed in the room, even though they didn't seem pleased to have a member of Intelligence there like a monitor, but they couldn't ask him to leave since he wasn't there in an official capacity. He wasn’t Detective Halstead at that moment, even if they kept glancing his way as if he were going to pull something on them the way Intelligence was known to do. He didn’t, but Will was pretty sure that was just for Will’s sake more than any kind of professional courtesy.

“Okay, Doc,” one of the detectives, Alan Roche, as he'd introduced himself, said, closing his notepad and standing up from the seat he’d taken. “Clarence here is going to leave you with his card, and if you remember anything else, give us a ring, okay? We’ll get this reported immediately, and keep you, and Detective Halstead here, up to date on the investigation.”

“Right,” Will said. “Thank you.”

“And if that guy you were with, Sean whatever, comes around, give him our card, too. We’d like to speak with him as well,” Clarence said, his voice gravel against Will’s ears. Roche wasn’t much better, sounding like he’d done nothing but chain smoke menthols since he was a toddler. Their voices grated on his aching skull, but he nodded just the same instead of begging them to leave. 

“Alright, thank you both. I’ll show you out,” Jay said, standing up across from the detectives. “My brother is in need of his rest. If there’s anything else, I’ll make sure he calls.”

Jay was a whole head taller than both Roche and Clarence, and broader, to the point that Jay standing up might have seemed like an act of aggression to these cops. Roche chanced a glare at Jay as he unceremoniously ushered them from the hospital room. It helped, Will assumed, that Jay worked with a notoriously hard cop, Hank Voight, so whatever Jay did came with the edge that it could get back to Voight, and no one truly wanted to be on that man’s bad side. 

When the door shut behind them, leaving Will alone just for a moment while Jay was outside with the detectives, he let himself feel everything all at once. He was tired, and achy, and there was the steady thrum of fear that hadn’t truly gone away since he’d heard the first man’s voice in the alley way. His head throbbed with bass drum beats from his heart. He felt as if he might vomit at any moment. He was sure he had a concussion, so he hoped that he had told the police everything correctly. The night seemed so long now. He wasn’t sure how long he’d even been out of work by then, because even though they kept clocks in patient rooms to help avoid disorientation, he couldn’t see it in the dimmed lighting. 

He reached for his phone on the bedside table just as the door opened. 

“Are they gone?” he asked without looking up.

“Who?” 

Will looked up and smiled softly, Sean standing in the middle of the open door, looking just as wonderful as he did at the start of the evening. 

“It’s good to see you,” Will said.

“It’s good to see me?” Sean asked. “I wasn’t sure I was ever going to see you again, especially when I saw the ambulance heading towards that alleyway. I thought I was going to find out that you’d died or something.”

He hadn’t taken a step into the room.

“I’m pretty tough,” Will said. “Hard to kill. Lots of people have tried.”

“ Jesus ,” Sean whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the steady beep from the heart monitor. 

“Will you come inside and stop hovering outside the door?” Will asked. “I’m not dying. I’m just a little banged up.”

“ A little ? This is what you call a little banged up? You look like you’ve been run over by a semi!”

“Gee, thanks. What a wonderful comparison,” Will grumbled, but Sean had at least stepped into the room. “Come here. You’re not going to hurt me by being near me.”

“I did this,” Sean said, gesturing. “It was my idea, the shortcut and the hotel. If we’d just gone back to your place, or mine, then –”

“Hey, come here ,” Will stated, making sure his tone was firm enough to register as a command, and Sean complied, crossing to his bedside quickly, and falling into Jay’s vacated seat. “There we go. Okay. I asked you to come meet me specifically so we could fuck, right?”

Sean nodded. 

“Does that make this my fault?”

“No! No! Not at all, I wouldn’t –”

“Right, so why is it your fault if you said we should cut through an alley?”

“I pushed you into that wall and kissed you, so –”

“Still not your fault.”

“I –”

“Trust me, Sean. I’m going through this whole thing thinking if I’d only just gone home, if we’d stayed a little later, if we’d gone the long way, if we’d picked a different hotel, but no matter what way you try to slice it, what happened tonight is not our fault. It’s those bastards with their brass knuckles and pipes. This –”

“They had brass knuckles ?” Sean whispered.

“That’s not the point I was trying to make.”

“They tried to kill you, didn’t they? They wanted you to die because they caught us kissing. They saw us kissing, and were so disgusted that they were going to murder you, or me if they’d caught me, and – I can’t do this anymore, Will.”

“Do what, exactly?”

“Be here . Keep using you. I literally have just been using you to get off for years, and you let me do it, and this is what happens! You got tossed into a meatgrinder because I wanted to fuck something. It’s selfish, to keep you on this leash for my own amusement, and –”

“You’re acting like I didn’t have any agency in this at all. I contacted you first, remember? I wanted to have sex with you just as much as you wanted to have sex with me. It’s not that I’m incapable of turning you down if I didn’t want to hook up. It was a mutual decision, and –”

“No!” Sean said firmly, shaking his head. “Will, you’re not a hook-up kind of guy. Who else have you had sex with in the last year, besides me?”

“That’s not the point,” he started to protest.

“Who?”

“No one, but –”

“You have some kind of feelings for me, don’t you?” 

“No,” Will said solemnly. “No, I don’t, Sean. It’s not about feelings. It’s literally just sex, and friendship. I’m not in love with you.”

“Either way, I guess, I don’t want to do this. I’d rather not meet up with you again.”

“Because of some assholes? I don’t even care if we keep hooking up, but I don’t want you to just walk away as my friend because of this.”

“Look,” Sean said softly, and he looked at Will. “I’m married, Will.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve been lying, this entire time, since we met. I have a wife,and a kid, and they think I’m working this week, because I work in Chicago during the week and go home to our suburban house during the weekends.”

“Fuck off,” Will scoffed. “You don’t have to lie to me just to try and convince me you don’t want to sleep with me anymore.”

"I'm not lying to you. Look, her name is Chrissy, we met in college and we got married June 18th. Our daughter is named Trina, she's six and loves dinosaurs and ballet. But I've always wanted more than Chrissy can give me, so when I started working in Chicago, I decided to start exploring. And I found you."

"No," Will said, shaking his head. "No, absolutely not. No."

Sean dug in his pocket and pulled out his phone, then turning it to face Will. On the screen were two faces, matching smiles between them, and he was frozen in his space. 

"Fuck," he breathed. "Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding right now?"

"Man, I wish I were," Sean sighed. 

"This is, this is not – we can't – how could you? How could you do this to me, and them? That’s the shittiest thing in the world to do, and you’ve been doing this for years?”

“Yeah,” Sean said. “So, I can’t keep doing this, I’m sorry. I should be at home, and I shouldn’t be getting you into trouble like this. As much fun as I’ve had, and as pretty as you are on your knees for me, Will, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Will wanted to fight, wanted to yell, wanted to protest over and over again, but he couldn’t. He didn’t have the energy.

“Whatever, Sean. Just, get out of here. I won’t ask you to talk to the cops because your family might find out why you were out tonight, but you can’t do this to your wife and kid again.”

“I know.”

“Goodbye, Sean.”

“I’m sorry, Will.”

“I know.”

Sean nodded, and stepped away from Will, heading straight to the door with the slightest hesitation in his step. He stopped at the door and looked at Will over his shoulder.

“Hey,” Sean said. “I really am sorry for what happened tonight, Will, and I’m sorry that fate ever brought me into your life.”

He let Sean leave without responding, because he couldn’t fathom any other action at the moment. It seemed apt that at the end of a terrible day and a worse night, of course he’d end his day discovering that he’d been sleeping with a married man. It made sense why Sean had seemed uninterested in a relationship, why he seemed to enjoy his freedom. He already had something permanent to go home to. Will was just for fun. Will was a toy that Sean used, and while Will was using Sean in return, it wasn’t the same way. Sean had all the facts; he knew that he was married with a child and that he was lying to everyone involved. Will thought Sean was just a single, flighty guy, without any kind of attachments, especially not a wife and a child . 

Will pressed the heels of his hands hard into his eyeballs, and groaned to himself as loud as he pleased, because he could. There was no one else in the room to see him, and no one close enough outside to hear him. He wouldn’t cry, not over this, but god, he wanted to scream at something, at someone. How could the last twenty-four hours have gone so bad? What had he done to deserve this? 

Maybe it wasn’t about deserve.

He’d always been told that God didn’t hand you anything you couldn’t handle, that He only tested his truest of followers, that it was an honor to have trials. This was not what he expected, at least. Even if that were the case, he didn't want it. He didn't want any of it. He was tired, so fucking tired, of fighting, and pushing, and trying . He just wanted a break, and to be happy. He wanted the world, the universe, date, God, whatever was giving him these trials to let him be happy. He wanted a husband, and kids, and a house, and a routine. He wanted not to scrape his happiness off the ED floor like a hungry man in a dumpster. He wanted –

The door cracked open and he didn't bother to look up, expecting it to be Jay again. Instead he just flopped back into the mattress with a heavy, angry sigh. 

"That doesn't look like resting," Connor's voice filtered through the angry buzzing in his head. 

Will looked up at Connor, and felt the pinprick of tears at the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to cry. He wouldn't cry. He especially wouldn't cry in front of Connor Rhodes of all people. 

"Will?"

"I'm sorry," Will said, rushing to brush the treacherous tears away from his eyes. "I'm sorry. It's been, it's been a day, and I'm, I'm just tired."

Connor came closer and stopped at his side. 

"What happened?" Connor asked. "Who did this?"

"No - no one. No one did this. I'm just being a baby."

"Who hurt you, Will?" 

Connor's voice was serious, and his eyes looked somber. It was so rare that Will saw Connor like this, especially when this reaction was directed maybe not at Will but because of Will. It felt nice , weirdly so, that someone cared that much about him, not just about his physical health but his emotional well-being. 

"Turns out that the guy I've been seeing is married with a kid," Will finally admitted, voice low so the world might not hear. "Turns out that he's been lying to me since the day we met just because he liked getting me into bed."

Connor set the tablet down on the end of Will's bed by his feet and leaned into the rail that he'd left up. 

"He sounds like an asshole."

"He is, yeah. He's an asshole."

"He sounds like he doesn't deserve you, either."

"Yeah, well, he was the only guy interested in me."

"I don't think that's true," Connor said. "There's got to be so many men who want you. You're attractive, and –"

Will snorted, and Connor frowned, his eyebrows furrowing to match his lips. 

"If that's true, no one has stepped up to say anything."

"Maybe they weren't aware you were gay," Connor said. 

"Maybe," Will said. "Anyway, as if I didn't have the worst day already, he decided that today was the day he was going to come forward and be honest about it. So, I want to die, and bury my head in the sand, and just –"

"No," Connor said firmly. "Listen, guys suck. They all suck. I've got enough experience with shitty men to say that for certain, and –"

"What? What do you mean? What experience?"

"You told Jay that I'm a safe person to tell, so I thought – you know that I'm bisexual, right?"

"You are?"

"Yeah, I – then, why did you think I was safe if you didn't know?"

"You're, you're my friend. You've always had my back no matter what. I didn't think, or feel like you'd hurt me or be an asshole if you found out. I don't know. You're a good guy, and I've always felt like you're a safe person to be around."

"Well, I appreciate that," Connor said. "So, now you know. Men suck, and I know it seems kind of hopeless looking at the dating pool sometimes, but you shouldn't give up. Maybe someone's just waiting for the right time to speak up."

Will leaned his head back just as Connor patted his shoulder. 

"Mostly I came in here to make sure you weren't sleeping, and to check your vitals, though, not make sure your broken heart is okay."

"Bold words from a cardiothoracic surgeon, someone who literally fixes broken hearts every day," Will said. Connor chuckled fondly at him, the sound warm and affectionate.

“I guess you’re right there,” he said. “When I’m certain you’re not going to slip into a coma, we can get you scheduled to fix that broken heart, how’s that sound?”

“What procedure is that?” Will asked.

“Oh, just the broken-heart-ectomy, of course. Get you patched right now.”

“Mmmhm.”

“Very simple procedure. We take you to Molly’s for your medicine, and the treatment is a course of ex-bashing, followed by only the worst karaoke renditions of old break-up songs from our youths.”

“Oh, I think I’ve had that done before,” Will said.

“It’s a pretty common procedure, and it’s almost one hundred percent effective. If not, then we can reassess with potential continued treatments to remove the abscess from your heart.”

Will grinned and looked down at his hands in front of him on his lap. He’d been changed into a hospital gown, and he was sure his wounds had been cleaned and dressed when they’d admitted him. It wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened, but being stripped and cleaned while he was unconscious, even by their own nurses, was certainly embarrassing enough. 

“That sounds like a plan to me,” Will said. “Anything to forget about tonight, honestly. Plus, as long as you’re paying, I’ll go anywhere with you.”

Connor scoffed and said, “I don’t believe you. You never let me pay for anything.”

“You know what, after the day I’ve had, and the bill I’m going to get from this, yeah, I think you can pay for drinks for a bit.”

“I’ll still believe it when I see it.”

“Well, when I’m back on my feet, you better be ready to open a tab for me,” Will said. “Or else I’ll be very disappointed that my doctor isn’t willing to give me the best of care.”

“Ah, of course, my apologies. I will absolutely provide the very best open tab for you.”

Will yawned and Connor smiled gently. 

“Let me take your vitals, and give you a quick exam, and I’ll get out of your hair, okay? Let you rest. I’ll be leaving in a few hours, but I’ll be back after I get a nap. How’s that sound?”

“You don’t have to rush back here, you know.”

“I don’t want you to be stuck here alone,” Connor said. “I just need a shower and a nap, and I’ll be right back after.”

“Connor,” Will started, and Connor waved him off. 

“You can’t stop me. Accept it.”

“Fine, but I won’t let you back in this room unless you also eat something,” Will decided.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. Now, be a good patient and let me check you out.”

After he’d gotten a thorough check-up from Connor again before he left and another from Sam Abrams, he was given the all-clear to go home and the not-so-gentle request from Ms. Goodwin that he stay home and not come into work for the remainder of the week. He ached all over, and he’d caught sight of himself in the mirror when he’d gone to the bathroom. He would scare most patients, especially the kids, with his Frankenstein’s monster appearance, so he couldn’t even protest the decision. Jay had gone back to WIll’s apartment to grab a change of clothes, and had come back just to help him dress. Being still for so many hours had allowed him joints to stiffen and the ache to set in all across his body so he was less mobile than he’d have liked. It wasn’t the first time Jay had had to help him dress, unfortunately, but at least it was the least embarrassing of the options before him. At least this was just his brother, and not the attractive cardiothoracic surgeon of his dreams who had still been in the room when Jay had returned. 

"Ready to go?" Jay asked as he finished tying Will's shoes. Will had tried, but bending over the far was just not an option at that point. His back was all bruises and so was his chest, looking quite like he'd been struck by a truck and left on the side of the road while gravel pelted him. His face didn't look much better, his chin scraped from the pavement, one eye nearly swollen shut, his bottom lip split open, his cheekbone somehow simultaneously scraped and bruised. He had to admit he needed help, even if it rankled to do so, but at least it was Jay who had seen him far lower than this. 

"Yeah, I'm good to go."

"Alright, let's get you home, then. What do you want for dinner? My treat. And don't tell me you're not hungry. You barely touched lunch, and breakfast, and God knows what you had yesterday."

Will hated that Jay knew him so well some days.

"No, I'm hungry," he admitted. "I think Chinese."

"Sounds good to me," Jay said. "Your usual, then?"

"Uhm, yeah. Well, maybe not the pork. That's really chewy and I'm pretty sure if I have to chew something hard, my jaw will snap off."

"That doesn't sound medically accurate, but you're the doctor," Jay said, and Will snorted. "What about chicken, then? You still need protein. The chicken is pretty tender."

"Sounds good."

"Awesome. I will put in the order and we can swing by on the way home."

"Thanks, man."

It took a little bit for Will to get out of his hospital room and past all of his coworkers who wanted to check on him as he was trying to leave. Connor wasn't working that night, but he'd spent most of the day with Will, just talking, not mentioning what had happened to Will unless Will did first. It was nice, since Jay was distracted with intruding on Will's case, and Connor's presence took Will's mind off how much his body ached. 

"Okay, you know the drill," Connor said as he met Will at the exit. "If you feel worse, or have any new symptoms, come back in. If you need anything, you call, okay? I know how you are, and I know you don't like asking for help, Will, but you call me. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Will said. "I will call you if I need something."

"Good. I'll check up on you before you go to bed tonight just to see how you're feeling."

"You don't need to mother me, Connor," Will assured him. "I'll be okay."

"Just humor me," Connor said. "This is more for me than for you."

"Alright, yeah, for you."

"Okay, then you're good to go. Take it easy."

Will let Connor pat his shoulder gently, careful not to hurt him, and Will reached out to touch Connor's shoulder in return as a form of thanks. He was a good friend, and Will counted himself lucky that Connor had been working when he'd come in. 

Jay led Will from the main lobby, since the ED had been shut down while FD cleared everything out and whatever was destroyed got repaired and replaced. The sun was still up, bright and warm as it shone down on the city, and Will paused in the entrance. Looking up, he let the warm light touch his face. The day before had been overcast and drizzling, and stepping out into the bright sunshine felt like such a contrast, wonderful if a bit jarring. 

He took in a deep breath, feeling the fresh air fill in his lungs which ached as his ribs expanded. The pain just served as a reminder that he had survived. The men in the alley had tried to kill him, had tried to snuff him out, and they had failed, and every ache in his body was proof that he had been stronger than they were. He took in another breath, deeper, letting the ache fill him, and felt the thump of his heartbeat in his chest. He was alive. He was alive . 

He took another step, and looked out in front of him. He looked forward to each step he'd have to take, because he was alive still. He was alive, and no matter how much they hated him, he had endured them to live another day. He would continue to endure, and survive, and live, and love because he was full of every bright and worthwhile thing they had tried to crush inside of him. 

"You good?" Jay asked. "Do we need to go back inside?"

Will smiled, letting everything settle inside him before he replied, "yeah, I'm good. Strangely, I've never been better. Let's go."