Archive of Our Own ^beta

April had grown to love Casey a lot in the past few years. You’d think that this was only natural in a happy, developed friendship, but it was actually a huge feat considering he had been pretty annoying and seemingly unlikable in the first few months of their relationship. She blamed a lot of it on his toxic masculinity and need to prove himself, and her own prejudices and short sightedness at the time.

It was safe to say they’d done a lot of growing over the years. Getting past the awkward ‘confusing their platonic feelings for romantic ones’ phase had been a bit of a hurdle, and it took April realizing she was aromatic and Casey realizing he was gay before they had talked it out and worked through everything that had been going and how they could work together to improve that.

From that moment on, their relationship drastically improved.

Casey was a bonehead more often than not, but he was kind and funny, helping April easily forget about all the shit they’d gone through in the past several years, with the Kraang and traveling across dimensions and mutations left and right. They went out and partied together (before and after they were legal, but don’t tell Splinter) and danced so many nights away. He listened to her rant about her powers and teenage girl struggles alike, and when it came time for him to complain and her to listen, she would do so gladly. April knew she had her lackluster qualities as well, but she always tried to be a good friend to him.

To sum it up, Casey had become her best friend, and he’d been defending that title for five years now. There was nothing April wouldn’t do for him, and she knew she had a person to depend on in Casey, too.

But to revisit that bonehead part of his personality, because goddamn it he could really be a bonehead.

To generalize, Casey could be a bonehead about a lot of things. He really wouldn’t understand something until it literally hit him in the face (as it usually did. Casey took a lot of beatings to the nose during fights or hockey practice), and the art of being discrete was absolutely lost on him. Master Splinter had tried to teach him the basics of ninjutsu, but declared the young boy ‘unteachable’ because he would refuse to be silent or respectful during exercises. At the end of the day, neither of them were that upset about it; Casey went back to his tried-and-true ways easily.

But if April was asked to be more specific, to pick the one that her best friend was the biggest bonehead about, Casey was absolutely blind to the concept of romance.

Case in point, his massive crush on Raphael.

Alternatively, there was also the issue of Raphael’s massive crush on Casey. And in Casey’s defense, the object of his attraction was just as much of a bonehead as him. Maybe that’s why they were such a good match, because the two of them couldn’t be more blind to the other’s attraction.

Oh yeah, the feeling was mutual alright, and everyone could see it clear as day. Except, of course, for the two idiots who were supposed to be in love. Of course, that was the case, because nothing would be so easy for their strange little family.

At first, it was hard to tell if Raph and Casey were really attracted to each other or just saying things you say to your best friend because you’re so close to them that there’s no boundaries. One of Casey’s love languages was quality time and physical touch and Raph was quite possibly the most touch starved person on the planet.

Difficulty was, Raph only appreciated certain touching from certain people, and it quickly became obvious that the only person Raph was really okay with being in his space was Casey.

“How did you do that?” April had asked one night when she’d walked into Raph’s room to give him medicine when he’d been sick, and found Casey curled up in bed with the terrapin. Raph famously hated cuddles and would rather die than accept them from anyone unless the conditions were life or death, so to him nestled against Casey was a huge surprise.

“What, like it’s hard?” Casey had said quietly to not wake the sleeping boy. The turtle was tucked in and sleeping so soundly, April was sure that an earthquake wouldn’t wake him. She had never seen him so peaceful, so content; even in his sleep. “You just gotta ask what he wants and listen to what he says.”

So once Raph had let the side down with him, there was hardly a moment where they weren’t joined at the hip in some way.

Mikey had been the first to question things, and everyone had waived him off, saying they were just really good friends. But then Donnie noticed things that couldn’t possibly be platonic, but surely Raph had talked to one of them about it, right? Raph may hate asking for advice, but he must have talked to Leo or Splinter before jumping into another relationship, right?

And slowly but surely, Leo noticed things, and April noticed things, and even Karai, who had spent a grand total of three days with the Turtles, had asked point blank if they were dating, and everyone had needed to take a step back and look at the relationship between Casey and Raph in a different way.

Were they dating? Had they gotten together in secret? But that option was quickly ruled out; Raph might be able to take a secret to the grave, but Casey was a blabbermouth and would struggle to keep a secret down for longer than three hours. There was no way they’d gotten together without telling anyone. Maybe they just didn’t want to tell anyone, figure out the beginning of their relationship on their own? That was a little more likely, except when they’d all gotten the courage to ask, in each and every instance, their question had been denied with a laugh and a good natured punch to the shoulder.

It was worse than pulling teeth with them.

“Oh yeah, Casey gave me his sweatshirt that he dosed in his cologne ‘cause I mentioned once that I liked the way he smelled. But he just gave this to me ‘cause I’m cold all the time and he can’t always be here, no other reason. Get your head outta your shell, Mikey.”

Mikey’s head was not in his shell. Mikey’s head was being slammed against the wall in frustration while his older brother lounged around the lair wearing Casey’s sweatshirt, nuzzling it and smiling like a fool.

“Of course Raph and I have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed. Bustin’ goons takes a lot outta ya, Don. But I ain’t sleepin’ on my own floor and Raph gets too cold at night, so we cuddle. But our socks stay on all night!”

Donnie was about to sock Casey Jones in the fucking chin, but he restrained himself for the good nature of his friendship. Also Leo was watching him like a hawk, which was probably eighty-seven percent of the reason why he didn’t strike out. Ninety-three percent.

“Leo, if Casey had a crush on me, I would know. That bonehead can’t hide anything from me, I’m his best friend. That’s all we are, Leo. Best friends. What’s better than this? Just guys being dudes, just dudes being guys.”

Leo considered himself to be a very patient turtle, with the ability to reason and understand anyone he talked to, no matter the issue. But these two had worn away his patience so damn quick he would be impressed if it wasn’t so annoying. He figured he must have died and gone to some tenth circle of hell, because this had to be worse than fighting the Shredder.

“I don’t even think Raph likes human guys, Red. Well, yeah he seems to really like Kit Harrington, and Dylan O’Brien, and if you ask me he’s definitely got the hots for Chris Hemsworth, but who doesn’t? Besides, he dated Mona for like two years, and she was perfect in every way. And even though he’s bi, there’s no way he likes someone like me, even though I’m literally the coolest guy in the world. He’s my best friend, Red, I wouldn’t mess things up by gettin’ feelings for him or nothin’.”

April could feel her hair turning gray.

“Come on, Karai, not you too. Out of everybody I thought you’d be the most sensible and see that Casey only likes me as a friend, just like I like him as a friend. I don’t wanna ruin things by getting feelings for him.”

Karai was fighting the urge to join the Shredder again, because even that had to be better than this.

Needless to say, everyone had gotten a little sick of it at this point. And with Christmas right around the corner, April decided they were going to do something about it.

“Alright guys, I have a plan.” April announced proudly, holding said plan behind her back so no one could see it just yet. She had really thought this through (meaning she had thought about it for all of five seconds and grabbed it from the store before deciding it was a good idea) and knew it was going to work, as long as she had help from the rest of the gang.

Currently, the members of the family were gathered together in the kitchen, the comforting smell of the cookies filling the air. Karai and April had come over the lair to help set up for Christmas, and the turtles’ home was coming together really nicely. Donnie and Mikey were making the delicious smelling Christmas cookies to be frosted and decorated later, while Leo and Splinter were making the popcorn string to be put on the tree once Casey and Raph got back from cutting one down. Karai and April had been on various decoration duty, putting up pictures from past years, or tinsel and ornaments, or fake presents all over the lair to give it a feeling of the holiday.

At her announcement, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at her, curious.

“Do we have to guess, or are you going to fill us in?” Donnie asked, his voice only slightly sarcastic.

“Oh, oh! Let me guess!” Mikey raised his hand like he was in a classroom, excited to guess April’s plan. She grinned and pointed to him, and Mikey tapped his chin for a moment in contemplation before bursting out with, “We’re going to ask Honeycutt to fly us to the North Pole and meet Santa!”

Karai made a face. “Santa? Don’t you know he’s -”

“Very busy this time of year! He wouldn’t be able to make time to see us, even if we went all that way.” Leo interrupted, refusing to let the holiday be ruined for his little brother. Karai flashed him a look and Leo stuck his tongue out at her when Mikey wasn’t looking. She affectionately flipped him the bird, but she had the decency to look slightly embarrassed when Splinter flashed a look.

Much like Casey and April, Leo and Karai got past their awkward feelings stage when Leo realized that his feelings for her had been misdirected, and he really just admired her and appreciated her skill, and she just viewed him as a little brother. In the months that followed this revelation, Karai and Shinigami started dating, and Leo had come out as gay a little while after that but their bond only seemed to become stronger.

“Man, I was hoping that this year would be the year I met Santa,” Mikey pouted, looking down at his tray of unbaked cookies.

He looked so genuinely sad, and had April not known better, she would have believed that Mikey was genuinely distraught over not meeting Santa Claus.

Except April did know better, so she knew that Mikey had learned Santa wasn’t real years ago, when he heard Raph and Donnie setting up the scene when they thought Mikey had gone to bed. But Mikey was nothing if not a mischievous little shit, so he pretended to be blissfully unaware because that meant more presents in his pile every year. Mikey could get into Juilliard with his acting abilities, the way he played his brothers like a fiddle.

But personally, she still found it astounding that dimensional travel existed, and mutants and monsters and gods existed, but not Santa. The world was a crazy place.

“No, that’s not it, Mikey. Anyone else? Here’s a hint, it’s about Casey and Raph.” April prodded, still holding the idea behind her back.

“Oh, are they together yet?” Splinter asked, because he too had noticed the tension between his son and the other boy.

“No, but I’m hoping this will help.” April said proudly, pulling her idea out from behind her back. “Ta-da!”

Everyone stared at her like she’d grown a second head. Which, while hurtful, was better than laughing at her. But after a few moments, understanding bloomed in Donnie and Karai’s eyes, while Leo and Mikey still looked confused and bewildered.

“Um, April,” Leo, ever the gentleman, was obviously confused and clearly trying to find a delicate way to say his next few words. “That’s a branch.”

“A tiny one at that! It’s a good thing we sent Raph and Casey for the Christmas tree and not you, we can barely hang a single ornament on that.” Mikey grumbled, placing his tray of cookies down on the stove to cool as he put the next batch in.

“It’s not a tree, Mikey, but it’s not just any branch, Leo.” Donnie made his way around the kitchen island to gently take the plant from April’s hands.

“It’s mistletoe,” Karai added, a smirk rising on her face. “I like the way you think, Apes.”

“What’s mistletoe?” Mikey questioned, tilting his head to the side as he crawled onto a chair. Splinter was stroking his beard in thought, his whiskers twitching slightly. Leo was still blinking slowly, trying to understand what was going on.

“I’m so glad you asked, Mikey!” Donnie beamed, as if this had been his idea. April could practically smell the information dumping coming on, but she knew that helped calm him down so she let him steal the moment for now. “Mistletoe, or known by its Latin name Obligate Hemiparasitic, is part of the order Santalales. They’re parasitic, so they steal nutrients and water from the host plant. Despite this, they’re very beneficial to wildlife. There’s possibly a thousand different species of mistletoe all across the world, but it’s most famous for its-”

“It’s a plant people kiss under, Mikey.” Karai summarized after faux yawning at Donnie lecturing on and on. Unlike April, the kunoichi wasn’t afraid to say something about it. “It’s a holiday tradition, or something.”

It made sense that the turtles had never put up or seen mistletoe before this, because it probably was hard to come by in the sewers and up until April and the others showed up, they never had anyone to kiss anyway.

Mikey’s grin lit up like a Christmas tree. “That sounds romantic! That’s so fun!”

“I think it’s stupid.” Karai rolled her eyes dramatically.

“Oh, so if Shinigami wanted to kiss under the mistletoe, you’d say no?” Leo challenged.

Karai pursed her lips. “Shini isn’t a fan of that romantic crap, and neither am I.” She paused, her cheeks turning a little more pink. “But if she wanted to, I’d never say no.”

“Is Shini coming for Christmas?” Mikey asked, excited. He and Shinigami had always gotten along really well.

Karai shrugged. “I’m not sure, to be honest. She might be trying to surprise me, but I’m not getting my hopes up either way. I know I’ll see her soon after the holiday.” She was clearly trying to be nonchalant about it, but it wasn’t really working. Everyone knew that Karai and Shini were absolutely smitten for each other, and spending the holiday apart was no fun at all.

Splinter reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You want all of your loved ones to be together at this time of year. I understand the sentiment, my daughter.” Karai placed her hand on his and they shared a smile before April cleared her throat.

“Anyway, I’ve come up with a great plan.”

Leo gave her a disbelieving look. April took a deep breath in and reminded herself that this was her family, and she loved them very much, and she was going to show them exactly why this was such a great plan.

“It’s like Karai said, you have to kiss under the mistletoe. And I know you guys are just as sick of Casey and Raph being dumb as rocks as I am, so this is a way to cut out the middle man and help them realize their feelings.” April explained.

Donnie made a face that wasn’t exactly disbelieving, but close to it. “And how do we know they won’t just kiss on the cheek and be done with it?”

“It’s the tradition to do a full kiss.” Karai answered, as if this was obvious.

“Raph’s never been one to follow tradition,” Leo pointed out. “And neither is Casey; the two of them would sooner fight under it than kiss.”

“You’re not allowed to leave until you kiss,” April pointed out. “That’s the rule.”

“Again, when have Casey and Raph ever followed the rules?” Leo asked as if he was the only one with common sense.

Splinter hummed. “They would do it if it was a challenge.”

That was a fair point, but April had an even better idea.

And here, ladies and gentleman, was where April’s super master plan came to fruition. She hoped the grin plastered on her face was shit eating and devious as she began to explain exactly what they would do.

By the end, everyone else was wearing equal shit-eating grins and they all agreed that this was one of the best ideas April had ever had (“Which is saying something.” Mikey had rudely pointed out, because when was the last time he had a good idea?).

As if Renet was watching their timing again, Casey and Raph picked the moment April finished her Devious Master Plan to come back with their tree hauled over their shoulders, needles falling with every step they took. Casey was in the front by the stump while Raph’s upper body was hidden among the needles and branches of the tree. The muffled swearing showed that he was just fine, though. Both of them were still bundled up in all the layers Splinter forced them to wear; Raph especially, given that turtles were cold blooded after all.

“Look at what Raph and I brought back!” Casey exclaimed ecstatically, taking a few steps to the side and dropping the tree without warning. With a muffled swear in French (yes, Raph had learned to swear in multiple different languages to keep getting away with it), Raph’s feet left the floor for a moment before he hit the ground again and pushed himself out from behind the tree.

The tree, now that it was standing upright, was beautiful. The ceilings in the kitchen were probably about twenty-five feet tall, and the tree had to be around ten to thirteen. It was full of branches with a thicker base that made it look almost pear shaped, and the top of the tree had a tall, single branch that would be perfect for the star (the star being a five-pointed pizza that Donnie had done something to so it was frozen and never molded or something). It smelled absolutely wonderful too, the delightful smell of Fraser Fur almost blocking out the smell of the cookies.

It was perfect.

The thing that wasn’t perfect? Raph and Casey’s bickering.

The shorter turtle leaned against Casey in a way that was casual, familiar. “Y’all better like it, ‘cause we almost died like eight times on the way back here ‘cause dickwad doesn’t know his right from left.”

“I was tryna take a short cut!” Casey brushed off Raph’s arm from his shoulder and turned to face the smaller turtle, both of the grins on their faces devious.

“I’ve lived down here for twenty years ya punk, there ain’t no shortcut to get back to the base from the tree park.” Despite the anger in his tone, Raph’s voice seemed to get quieter as he leaned in, as if this argument wasn’t happening in front of everyone.

“Well we were going to find one, bozo.” Casey replied, poking Raph’s chest with a gloved finger. Raph barely flinched at the contact, his grin only widening.

“Wouldn’t that be the day, huh? When Casey Jones is actually right about something. Except that’ll never fucking happen, bonehead.”

“Yeah?” Casey grinned. “And what’ll ya give me when I am right?”

If someone had paid April in a single corn chip to push their faces together and make them kiss, she would have done it. Hell, they probably would have gone with the flow and continued making out with everyone, but wasn’t that the whole point?! They were In Love! They were just too blind to see it!

“Anyway!” Donnie interrupted the two before they could seal the deal or continue to make everyone uncomfortable (definitely the latter), drawing the attention back to him. “Raph and Casey, I just forgot, but we need uh…”

Donnie was clearly trying to come up with something that they forgot to push Casey and Raph out of the Lair so they could set up the plan, but he obviously didn’t think his whole plan through enough.

“Hot cocoa!” Mikey exclaimed, stepping in front of the hot chocolate bar that Karai had spent all afternoon setting up. “We have none, and Christmas will absolutely be ruined if we don’t have hot cocoa with the little marshmallows in them!”

Raph and Casey shared a disbelieving look. Casey leaned against Raph again, and the terrapin was crossing his arms over his chest (it was a little funny to watch him put a little more effort than expected into keeping his arms there, with his coat and sweatshirt underneath being so thick it was hard for him to bend his arms.

Despite Casey being her best friend and Raph being like a brother to her, the looks that they were giving them were strangely similar to the Disappointed Look that you get from your parents when you’re trying to lie your way out of something. Which, of course, they were trying to do, but that was beside the point.

“You guys really forgot about the cocoa?” Raph questioned, clearly sensing something was up. For all the shit his siblings gave him for being thick skulled, he was incredibly perceptive; almost as good as Mikey. “Mikey’s favorite thing in the whole wide world?The most essential part of Christmas?”

“I thought that was the gifts.” Mikey interrupted.

“No, it’s family time.” Leo argued, narrowing his eyes.

“I think it’s throwing snowballs at kids without punishment.” Karai grinned, and April didn’t doubt that she’d done that already.

“Leonardo is correct; spending quality time with family is the most special and important part of the season. But I do love the Christmas music and the decorations.” Splinter stood up and turned on the radio that Donnie had set up in the kitchen a few months ago, letting Bing Cosby’s music flow through the space with a warm feeling.

But Raph continued on after everyone had finished like they hadn’t just interrupted him. “You guys forgot about it?”

The air seemed to get thinner as someone tried to find something to say. Thankfully, ever the quick one, Leo spoke to defend them.

“We thought you were gonna get it.” The eldest turtle challenged, knowing that would push all the right buttons to give them what they wanted. Sure enough, Raph’s eyes narrowed and his lips pulled down in a frown.

“And why the hell would we get it? We were in charge of the tree,” Raph pointed out, and Casey uttered some agreement.

“The cocoa stuff is all at my apartment,” April added, which was absolutely true. It had been at Aprils’ apartment, but she had brought it over this morning when she’d first come over. “The tree farm is on the way, so…”

Casey groaned, tossing his head back in an exaggerated and dramatic way, but he peeled his arm off Raph’s shoulder and cracked his neck on both sides. “Fine, fine. Raph and I will save Christmas, save the day like we always do. We better get the good mugs for our troubles!”

The ‘good mugs’ were the two matching ones they found in the sewers years ago that, when placed on top of each other, made a snowman. They were the most fought over mugs ever since Donnie had found them several years ago in the dump, and the fights would get so vicious sometimes that Splinter had to ban them a few years in a row until the boys were ‘mature enough to share’.

“Of course!”

“One hundred percent!”

“Whatever you say guys!”

Raph flipped his family off and Casey was quick to copy the gesture as they made their way back out of the lair, grumbling and groaning the whole way.

The minute April knew they were gone, she turned to her family with a wide grin on her face. “So, are we ready for Phase Two?” She was met with enthusiastic nods and Mikey began tapping his feet against the ground excitedly. “Okay. So here’s how we’ll split up the work…”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Raph was going to kill someone. Christmas season and holiday cheer be damned, he was going to strangle someone with the tinsel from the tree and make them choke on the cookies. He was going to return every gift he’d asked Casey to buy for his family, or he was going to keep it for himself and laugh at them every time they gave him sad eyes. Especially Leo’s present, because he had already been contemplating keeping the gift for himself. But he was a good brother, and as long as he didn’t kill his siblings before the night was over, Leo would still get his gift.

The hot cocoa was not in April’s apartment like everyone was convinced it would be, and suddenly the way that they’d been shielding the counter from view seemed even more suspicious than before.

Casey and Raph had been sent on a wild goose chase that had taken another hour of their time, because everyone was out and about and moving across New York, given that it was the Christmas season and all. Despite his numerous layers, it was really difficult for Raph to move when he was restricted by the puffer coat and Casey’s sweatshirt underneath it.

Casey’s sweatshirt. Given to him a few weeks ago, Raph was barely out of it. It was warm and fuzzy and smelled like Casey - not like Casey after he’d just gotten back to the lair from hockey practice or fighting some goons, but the earthy, smokey smell of Casey that Raph had come to really like - and it felt like a hug around him.

He would have much preferred to have Casey wrap his actual arms around Raph and bring him into a hug, but neither of them were super big on physical touch.

Well, Raph wasn’t big on physical touch, but he wanted to be. He believed he could be, if he really wanted to. For the right person, he could. He wanted Casey to be the right person. He wanted Casey to be his person. He hadn’t really had a person since Mona, but even with Mona he’d never felt like this.

Raph was twenty-one now; an adult. He was free to make his own decisions and he knew nobody cared who liked who and what pronouns they went by, and Raph had been trying to conjure up the courage to talk to Donnie or Leo or Mikey or Splinter or April or hell even Karai about his feelings for Casey, but coming out as bisexual had already take him years to do.

He was scared that if he didn’t act soon, Casey would find a new girl to date and he would stop coming around the lair, choosing to spend all his time with his girlfriend. Not that Raph would even be able to blame him, because he’d spent a lot of time with Mona when they were dating. But then Raph would be getting a wedding invitation in the mail, and maybe if he was lucky, Casey would ask him to be Best Man. But then he’d be getting a baby picture, and then farther down the line, Casey would be old and shriveled and eventually die surrounded by his normal, human family and Raph would live to be a hundred and fifty years old (because even though they were humanoid, Donnie had guessed they would still live past the lifespan of a normal human since turtles could live to be quite old) and never having said a word about his crush to anyone.

But he couldn’t do it. Casey was his best friend, and to have him in his life in any capacity was better than saying his feelings and losing it all.

But Raph couldn’t even bring himself to worry about his silly little crush right now, because he was still incredibly pissed.

They had entered the sewers again a few minutes ago, both of them too angry to share any words of comfort to the other. Raph knew his control over his temper was slipping away from him, based on the quickness of his breath and the ringing in his brain. It was at this point he should remember his training and do as Splinter taught him; breathe in, count to ten, breathe out, count to fifteen

It’s Christmas time A voice in the back of his head that sounded a little too similar to Mikey supplied.

You can’t ruin Christmas with your temper tantrums. That voice sounded like Leo.

Just talk it out, okay? You’ve got people who want to help you, you just have to let them There was a reason Raph liked coming to Donnie for advice the most; he always gave the best kind.

Raph pulled himself to a stop, digging his heels into the ground and refusing to take another step. It took Casey a few paces to realize that his friend had stopped walking beside him, which, hurtful. Shows how much Casey really paid attention to Raph anyway.

The terrapin refused to look inward at how much that hurt.

“Raphie?” The young man asked, not moving an inch. Seeing Raph halted in place seemed to temporarily subdue his anger, if for no other reason that one of his outburst was significantly less concerning than one of Raph’s.

“Hey, earth to Raphie!” There was a sense of urgency to his voice, but Raph knew by the way he shouted instead of whispering that he trusted Raph completely, trusted his friend to not blow up and throw a ninja star at his face or start a brawl in the sewer.

Raph had too many brawls in the sewers in the past. It took weeks to scrub the grime and stink away. He wasn’t in the mood to stand in the shower for hours on end tonight while the Christmas celebrations went on without him.

“What’s wrong?” Casey demanded, his voice a little sharper than he intended. Raph knew they were both still pissed off at his family for sending them out of the lair to get fucking hot cocoa when it had been in the kitchen the whole time, but Casey didn’t want to direct his anger at Raph, no matter what. They’d agreed to that ages ago.

“Nothing.” Raph said too quickly, and Casey groaned a little, shaking his head.

“You’re an idiot, Raphael.” Oh, the full name? Raph fought to keep a smile off his face. Two could play at that game Arnold Casey

“I know when you’re lying to me, so just cut the crap and tell me what’s wrong, okay? I’m not happy that your bros did this either, but we can give them good ol’ knuckle sandwiches when we get back, promise.” Casey grinned, trying to lighten the mood and keep the turtle away from the edge of the cliff.

Raph opened his mouth to argue or maybe to scream, but he was stopped when a sudden gust of wind cut through his man layers and tickled at his skin, and he exhaled, he could see his own breath in the air a little clearer. They were close to an open gate where the waste was deposited; cold air must have blown in.

Casey was before him in an instant, bringing his hands up to squeeze at Raph’s biceps as if that would somehow make him warmer. Raph looked up at his face, looking between his eyes and praying like a desperate man that Casey would lean down and close the distance between them.

“You okay?” Casey asked softly, using the hands still on Raph’s strong arms to tug him a little closer. The terrapin’s breath hitched and he struggled to keep his eyes on Casey’s, nowhere else.

But then Casey’s eyes flicked down to Raph’s lips, and the turtle was fighting hard to keep himself from taking that as some sort of sign and closing the distance right then and there.

“You look a little green.” Casey whispered, his voice an octave deeper.

And the moment was ruined.

Raph pulled his right arm free and gave Casey a solid slug to the shoulder. The young man cried out in a slightly over dramatic way, a way that told Raph that he was really okay. “You’re an idiot.”

“What? It’s just an observation!” Casey called after him as the turtle began to stomp away. “What? Seriously, what? What?”

Raph just let Casey wind himself apart trying to get him to respond; it was much more satisfying and soothing to the ringing in his ears than gracing his whining with an answer.

Within no time, they were back in the lair, and Raph was still ready to raise hell, though he was significantly cooled off by Casey almost kissing him in the goddamn sewer.

Everyone was gathered in the common area, just minding their own business. A Muppet Christmas Carol (aka the greatest Christmas movie of all time) was playing on the TV, with Mikey and Karai singing along to the opening song of Scrooge. Leo and Donnie were playing a game while Splinter was reading a book beside April.

“You fuckers!” Casey cried out, pointing accusingly at every member of their little family. Caught off guard by the sudden profanity, everyone looked up in surprise. “The hot cocoa wasn’t in April’s apartment!”

“We could have frozen our asses off, and there wouldn’t have even been any hot cocoa for us to warm up with!” Raph continued, not noticing how everyone looked between each other with a look that definitely wasn’t shame or confusion. It looked calculating, but Raph was still too angry to think about it.

“We get the good mugs for life!” Casey shouted next, already turning and stomping towards the kitchen to grab them.

“And no one else gets cocoa, either! Fuckers!” Raph flipped off his brothers and sisters - Splinter just got an annoyed glare because he didn’t dare stand against his father in such an ignorant way - as he turned around to follow Casey to the kitchen.

“Now!” April shouted, and there was a lot of commotion coming from behind them.

Raph turned around just in time to see his oldest and immediate younger brother swarming him, while April, Mikey and Karai came charging towards Casey. “What the - Leo!” Raph roared as his older brother grabbed him by the legs and swept him up just as Donnie came from behind, holding him still despite his impressive struggles. He was twisting and shifting and kicking as best he could, but even if he got a limb free, his brothers would just recapture it and keep moving.

“You’ll thank us later!” Leo hissed as Raph tried to twist free of his grasp. Raph roared with something that was both a mix of anger and fear, because what the hell was going on? First Casey and Raph had to go get the tree, then they were sent on a fake mission to get hot chocolate, and now they were being kidnapped by their own family!

“What kind of fucking Christmas is this?!” Raph bellowed as he and Casey were unceremoniously hiked up the stairs toward the dojo, where Splinter was already waiting with the door held open. He smiled softly down at his son and son’s best friend and watched as his other children hauled them inside like they were nothing more than a sack of potatoes.

“Now!” Donnie cried, and Raph felt himself being swung and then released, and there was a split second where he was flying through the air before he landed on the ground on the dojo with a thud. Casey was tossed beside him, though there was a crack as he landed on his hip funny.

Raph’s anger reached a boiling point and he jumped to his feet, turning his murderous stare on his family, who were now standing together beside Splinter, all with matching devious looks on their faces. They were so smug it made Raph want to puke.

“Have fun you two!” Mikey was howling with laughter as he pointed at his furious brother, unaware of the pain he - and all of his other siblings - were in for.

“I’m gonna smack the green off you!” The red clad turtle charged for his brothers and sisters, roaring with a primal noise that scared even him for a second.

But Splinter reacted faster, slamming the door shut in his face and Raph hit it with a painful smack. Like he was some kind of cartoon character, Raph slid down the door until he landed on his stomach.

Dazed by the blow, Casey thankfully began to pick up the slack of yelling at his family. “You pricks! Let us out of here! We know our rights! You can’t keep us here without a warrant!”

“Really, moron?” Raph grumbled, rising to his feet and rubbing his face where he’d smacked the door. It stung a lot, but the pain wouldn’t last long. At least he hoped not, for his sibling’s sake.

Instead of gracing Casey’s comments with laughter or a mocking response, the family began to chant a single word, one that immediately caused Raph to freeze where he stood.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!”

“Not coming out until you guys kiss!”

“Evidence of tongue!”

“Okay, maybe not that.”

“Why not? There’s like, a thousand of those plants there. They have to do one epic kiss to count for every plant, otherwise we’ll be here all night!”

“Your logic makes no sense. They just have to kiss once,”

Shakily, Raph looked up, his heart hammering in his chest as he registered what was on the ceiling. Little green plants spread out across the entire ceiling like they were ornaments on the tree. There was a plant every two feet almost; there wasn’t a place you could step without being under them.

Mistletoe. Goddamn mistletoe.

Raph had learned what mistletoe was years ago, and he always thought the tradition was stupid…on the outside anyway. Because really, getting someone you liked in a romantic way to kiss you under a plant was stupid and exactly the thing Raph thought he was supposed to hate the most, because girls had cooties and were gross and the only boys around were his brothers, so Raph had no one to kiss anyway.

But when he’d been dating Mona Lisa, he’d tried to get her under the mistletoe for hours with no success. She’d dodge and evade and keep out from the little plant’s radius like it carried a disease. Because, as it turned out, it did for her. And so, Raph continued to think the tradition was stupid and that there was no point to it at all.

Until Casey started coming around, that is. Suddenly, mistletoe was no longer stupid, it was the endgame. The cliche had become his savior. Because all Raph wanted was to be under the mistletoe with him, and to pull him in, and whisper sweet things in his ear, and kiss him all night long. It would be so easy!

Except that it wasn’t. Casey too, seemed to avoid the plant whenever possible.

Even now, as Raph turned around to look at him with a scared expression, Casey wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was sitting in front of the dojo’s door, trying to pull it open with his bare hands, with no fucking luck of course. He seemed like he was desperately trying to get out and fuck that hurt.

Raph refused to acknowledge how his heart was beginning to shatter into a million tiny pieces right now at the knowledge that Casey didn’t want to kiss him. He was doing everything he could to not be in this room right now.

Grumbling, Raph crossed his arms and summoned up what little courage and sanity he had left, which was unsurprisingly deteriorating at an alarming rate. “Dude, come on. Let’s just suck it up and French a little, it’s not like they’re going to open the doors unless they think we kissed.”

“We’ll know if you kissed! Donnie installed a camera!” Mikey called through the door and What The Fuck?!

There was a smacking sound and Donnie was sputtering. “There’s always been a camera, but I swear I disabled it!”

“Creep!” Raph called back, the jab missing any real malice due to the situation he was currently in. There was no response, so Raph just looked back at Casey. “Dude, you’re gonna pull a muscle or something and you don’t have many to begin with, so just get over here and French me a little.”

Casey, thankfully, stopped pulling at the door and instead remained in a low crouch. He seemed to be mulling the options over, his face growing pale and the tapping of his forefinger against his opposite palm growing more rapid; a sign he was stressed out.

God, did the thought of kissing a humanoid turtle, even to get out of a locked room that they were put in by said humanoid turtle’s family really disgust him that much? Raph paused, thinking back on what he just said. Okay, the situation was very concerning, Raph could give him that.

But still. It broke his heart and just confirmed he’d been right all along: to tell Casey how he felt would have been a mistake and he’s glad he saved himself the heartbreak. At least now, he knows that he can only ever have Casey in his life as his strictly platonic, no chance of romance best friend.

“Okay, fine.” Casey agreed loudly, sounding very uncomfortable. “Just don’t say French a little, that’s weird.”

Raph had crossed the room in two strides and knelt down beside Casey at the same exact moment that Casey was rising to his feet, putting Raph in a very awkward position for half a second, his eyesight filled with Casey’s junk. He quickly sprung to his feet, his blushed face meeting Casey’s.

“What was that?!” Casey sputtered, walking away from Raph as the turtle covered his face with his hands and begged whatever deity still liked him that they would wake him from this nightmare. “What were you doing?!”

“I figured we could just kiss on the ground, dipshit! Ya didn’t look like you could stand on your own!” Raph defended, talking to Casey’s back as the man was still facing away from him. “But then you got up! Not my fault, fuckface!”

Casey whirled around to face him, his eyes angrier than before. He didn’t look scared anymore or terrified, he looked genuinely pissed off. “Don’t call me fuckface, dipshit!”

Raph scoffed and took another step closer when Casey did. “Don’t call me dipshit, douchebag!”

“Idiot!”

“Moron!”

Raph didn’t notice that with every insult, they were scooting closer together.

“Arnold Casey Jones!”

“Hamato Raphael!”

“Case-Case!”

“Raphie!”

“Arnie!”

“Ellie!”

“Dada Raph!”

“Gap tooth!”

On the outside, Karai grinned and struggled to keep her laughter out of the recording on her phone. These two idiots were so in love it hurt.

And suddenly, Raph and Casey were standing right in front of each other, chests heaving and mouths parted from hurling insults like snowballs. Casey’s face was flushed and Raph figured he was no better. He made the mistake of looking down at Casey’s lips, so perfect.

Just one kiss wasn’t too much to ask, right?

Except maybe it was.

“Just…kiss me, okay? We never have to talk about this again if you don’t want to.” It broke Raph’s heart a little more to say, because he wanted to talk about this. He wanted this to be the funny story they told for years after this, to be told to their future children one day. He wanted to talk about this moment when they were old and senile and could barely remember their own last names. He wanted this moment to be theirs.

“No, I just…why is this happening?!” Casey groaned, covering his face with his hands. Raph noticed gleefully that he did not back up this time, and stayed firmly in front of the shorter turtle.

“Okay, Jesus H. Christ Jones, just kiss me!” Raph demanded, growing more annoyed than anything else right now. “You can close your eyes and it’ll be quick, just fucking kiss me!”

“No!” Casey groaned, uncovering his face and glaring down at Raph. Except now, there was no anger behind his eyes, just something else that Raph couldn’t put a name to, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Casey! Just kiss me already and get it over with!”

“No, I’m not going to kiss you!”

“Come on, just kiss me!”

“No, dude!”

“What, are you scared of a little kiss?”

“I’m not scared of anything!”

“Okay then, kiss me, Jones!”

“Not like this!”

Raph opened his mouth to continue the bickering, then immediately stopped.

Oh.

Raph couldn’t help the small smile that came to his face. The sick feeling of hope building up in his gut. The feeling that maybe, just maybe, he had a chance after all.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, his voice light but quiet at the same time. He was so scared to hear the answer, but he had to know. “Is there a place that would be better?”

Casey wasn’t looking him in the eye. His bangs, which had been growing longer, now poked down into his face, almost blocking it from view. “Yeah, there is.”

Raph’s small smile widened to a grin and he let out a choked noise of happy surprise. “Maybe there’s a time that would have worked better too?”

“Yeah, yeah there is, okay!” Casey suddenly burst out, crowding into Raph’s space a little. “Is that what ya wanna hear, Raph? Because there was a time and a place for this, I planned it out! But it’s ruined! It’s all ruined!”

Shock replaced anger on Casey’s feature, and hope turned to sadness on Raph’s. Seemingly caught off guard by his own words, Casey backed up slightly, looking down at the ground. Raph, knowing from his own experience of bursts of surprised anger and unexpected confessions, knew better than to crowd his space right now, even if he was desperate to know more.

Maybe the admittance was enough. Maybe he could live with the fact that he would have gotten to kiss Casey Jones, to hold him close. Maybe someday he would understand that his family had seen what he had been too stupid to, that Casey liked him, but today was not that day. Today, the only thing he realized was that they’d ruined his chances entirely.

And he was going to handle this the only way he knew how: with anger and screams and heartbreak. Because that’s all Raph knew how to do.

He turned sharply on his heel and began to storm towards the door, ignoring the sharp, acidic tears brimming behind his eyelids.

“Our night was going to start with a hockey game.”

Maybe it was because Casey’s voice was so small, so unlike Casey that held Raph down and stopped him dead in his tracks. He stood, frozen, his limbs hanging in the air and his foot even hovering a centimeter off the ground, his muscles tensed and poised from years of training. He didn’t turn around, he couldn’t look at the man right now. The tears were still hot, but they weren’t spilling over yet by pure force of will alone.

If the dam cracked, it would break.

“I was going to pick you up. Six o’ clock sharp.” Casey continued, his voice still meek. “I was going to bring you flowers; white roses, your favorite.”

Raph had never told anyone his favorite kind of flower. But white roses were the ones that he always picked on April’s farm, watering them and watching over them like he had planted them himself, even though they’d already been there when they’d arrived.

Mona had never gotten him flowers. He had tried to get some for her because that’s what you were supposed to do as a boyfriend, but she had never liked them. It wasn’t a thing on her planet. Raph pretended it didn’t bother him.

“And then we were gonna sneak into the hockey game, sit in the rafters above the stadium and watch from above, like the kings we are. We woulda left at halftime to catch the last bit of the Pro-Wrestling match downtown happening at the same time, and if we timed it right, we woulda gotten there just as the final match started.” Casey still wasn’t looking at Raph, but the terrapin had the courage to step back towards him. “We woulda stuffed ourselves fulla junk food and sodas and ice cream, and I woulda bought you as many scoops of salted caramel as you wanted -”

“Salted caramel?” Raph asked, a small smile coming back to his face again.

“Yeah, it’s your favorite.” Casey stated as if it was obvious.

Raph shook his head. “No, my favorite is strawberry.”

Now it was Casey shaking his head. “No, it’s not. That’s just what you tell people, Raphie, but your favorite flavor is salted caramel. You lie because Mikey’s favorite is orange sherbert and Leo’s is blue moon and Donnie’s is fuckin’ blueberry shit I dont really know,” Raph found himself laughing because no one could remember the name of Donnie’s favorite ice cream even though he reminded them all the damn time. “But you just say strawberry because it’s red and it fits the theme. But your real favorite is salted caramel.”

Raph’s heart was breaking. Or maybe it was rebuilding, he wasn’t quite sure. The feelings were a little too similar and he was in too much distress to really think about it now.

“Go on.” Raph prompted.

“Right.” Casey looked up and their eyes met, and it was almost like they were seeing each other for the first time. Casey had never looked so handsome, Raph thought. Standing there, like this, all nervous and flustered when he was normally stuffed full of the toxic masculinity he scooped into his protein shake every morning. But not here. Not now, and Raph realized how his own toxic masculinity was nowhere to be found either.

“After we stuffed ourselves, we woulda gone behind the club down on Third Street and dance in the alley because that music is that loud that you can hear it across town, and it’s shitty music ‘cause they don’t have taste and we woulda felt terrible but it woulda been worth it ‘cause we woulda been laughing our asses off.”

Raph was getting closer and closer to Casey now, still blinking back those tears. He noticed Casey’s eyes were also shining.

“And maybe, I woulda held your hand as we ran from the hockey game to the wrestling match. And maybe I woulda wrapped my arm ‘round ya as we watched them beat the shit out of each other.” Casey’s voice was wishful yet sad, like he was mourning something. “And after our games, I woulda taken ya to the top of the building next to the alley we met in, and we would try and watch the stars through the clouds and….”

Raoh was standing in front of Casey now, not touching or breaching space, but Casey wasn’t pushing him away either. “And?” He prompted gently.

Casey’s hand was gently touching Raph’s cheek, pressing against his flesh like a warm blanket. Raph found himself leaning into it, his eyes fluttering shut.

“And then,” Casey’s breath was right against Raph’s own lips. “I woulda kissed you like you deserve to be kissed. Cherished. Loved.”

Raph had zero words. None. He had a million things he wanted to say, but nothing was actually coming out. Damn him and his stupid tongue.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.” Casey whispered as if it was a prayer.

“So have I,” Raph found himself admitting back unprompted because fuck he was coming unraveled for this man.

“Don’t lie to me just to make me feel better, man.” Casey damn near begged.

“When have I ever lied to you, Jones?” Raph replied. “Actually, don’t answer that.”

“You aren’t…angry?” Casey questioned slowly, as if the other shoe was about to drop. “You aren’t angry with me?”

“I’m still pissed at everyone else for ruining what sounds like an awesome time.” Raph admitted. “But I’m not mad at you, Case, never at you.”

Casey hummed, his other hand resting on Raph’s cheek now too. “Good.”

Raph’s breath hitched again. His eyes fluttered open and he glanced above them, and noticed with a smirk that they were directly under a little plant of mistletoe, hanging innocently above them.

“You still can take me on that date.” Raph grinned. “And you can still kiss me now. Sounds like a win-win to me, Jones.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Raph closed his eyes and leaned in. “I would.”