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Unachievable Perfection

Summary:

He had to kill criminals, kill the unworthy, kill the lazy, kill whoever was against his dad’s morals.

Nothing mattered, his father was going to be proud of him.//

basically light's toxic relationship with his father

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

His father influenced his every move.

He was the chief of the NPA,

Light was nothing without his father.

He was just the shadow of his father.

His genius, his good looks, everything came from his father.

Light Yagami was a nobody without Souichirou.

Souichirou’s morals, priorities and principles were something Light admired.

Light loved his father.

His father was an extraordinary man, he was the perfect human being.

Light wanted that.

Light wanted perfection.

His father was perfection.

Light did everything to make his father proud of him.

Tennis competitions, Good grades, good attitude, beautiful girlfriends,- you name it.

Light did everything for his father’s approval.

 

He was obsessed for his father’s approval.

He needed his dad’s approval, he needed it.

His dreams of achieving his father’s perfection became true when he found the death note.

He had to kill criminals, kill the unworthy, kill the lazy, kill whoever was against his dad’s morals.

Nothing mattered, his father was going to be proud of him.

 

Light wanted to be perfect like him.

He was obsessed with the idea of becoming perfect, becoming the god of the new world.

His father would be so proud, he would praise him, compliment him, he would finally love him.

 

The more he wrote in the the damned notebook, the more the thought of his father praising him, being proud of him, loving him and treating him like he always dreamed of being treated became overwhelming.

Light Yagami did all of this for his father.

 

Souichirou didn’t agree with Kira, but that was only because he was the chief of the NPA. 

If his father knew he was Kira, he would be delighted to have raised such a good son.

Everything Light wrote & studied was for his father.

 

But when Light’s father was in the hospital bed, dying because of that damned L copycat & that freak Mello, Light’s hopes of a new world were close to shattering.

His father, his idol, his reason to fucking be alive. He was fucking dying,

He could see the life drain out of his father’s eyes.

 

His hands not being able to write Mello’s name, his mouth not being able to say how proud he was of Light, His eyes glaring at his soul, As if they were secretly whispering that it was his fault. It wasn’t his fault, it couldn’t be his fault. He loved his dad, but his father never loved him back.

Even when he was in his death bed, Light’s dad never told him he was proud of him.

 

Light Yagami was a fucking failure.

 

As the sun illuminated his body, his favourite suit & tie wet with blood because of the gun wounds , Light thought of his father one last time.

He sighed.

 

He never achieved the perfection he desired so much.

Notes:

this is kinda depressinggg.............. but i'm proud xd