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Kian Stone’s hands were on Rolan’s waist, his fingers digging into the belt loops of his pants and pulling him closer. Rolan shifted on the couch, allowing Kian’s weight to settle in his lap and against his body in a very comforting way. Kian was always quite scrawny, and not much had changed in that regard since the last time they did this in high school so his weight felt very familiar, like a blanket.
Rolan was never especially touchy-feely with Kian or Rand and he kept his affectionate acts to kissing their cheeks or holding them closer then needed just to feel their warmth, but sometimes there were certain exceptions.
Maybe it was the insurmountable amount of trauma they’d just experienced the month prior or the fact that he hadn’t felt this type of warm press of a lean body against his in years, but while watching TV with Kian he’d decided to lean over and pull him by his button-up collar into a messy kiss.
Rolan was still very much asexual (no amount of bugification would change the fact that the thought of being naked with someone was just about as appealing as drinking the half-blood half-dumpster water that leaked from the sewage pipe in Galloway.) but kissing was fun, there was something so infinitely reassuring about the way Kian held him no matter how old they were or where they were.
Kian’s hands were tangled in Rolan’s short hair that had started to grow out a bit now, long enough that stray pieces when not slicked back fell just above his eyes and framed his face. The blonde took his hands and tilted Rolan’s head up so that he could move from kissing his lips down to his jaw and his neck to tangle his hands in the fabric around his shoulders. Rolan felt clicks of happiness buzz in the very back of his throat but he shoved them down, clicking was the last thing he wanted to happen when sharing a rare moment of affection with his girlfriend.
Kian giggled a very specific giggle that was a sign he was about to do something to annoy the hell out of someone and gently bit down on Rolan’s neck. He jumped backwards as much as he could on the arm of the couch and maneuvered his knee to kick Kian wherever it landed. “Ow! You dick!” Rolan shouted, rubbing his neck.
“Gotta keep you on your toes somehow,” Kian purred and rolled his eyes at his dramatics over lightly biting him. They were only apart for a moment but Rolan felt very cold without the body warmth and before he thought about it he was reaching out to pull his lover back into their embrace. Kian shifted back into a similar position to how they were in but with their legs more tangled, ruffling each other’s clothes and hair, barely being able to sit still in each other’s presence.
They were very push and pull in their affection. Kian was always the one who would grab Rolan by his tie and pull him in for less then chaste kisses, but no matter how flustered Rolan was he always did something small back like hold the blondes hand or lean his head against his shoulder which only encouraged Kian to be more affectionate with him.
In this case Kian found himself returning to kissing his neck, trailing back up and peppering his cheeks and nosebridge in kisses. Rolan’s urge to click became stronger, and he felt almost like he was physically fighting it. He sharply inhaled in surprise when he felt Kian’s nimble hands slide up his shirt, gentle and cool to the touch as he traced simple patterns and swirls on his bare skin.
His face was flushed bright red and the insecurities over his body like his lankiness and patchy scars on his torso that they gained together playing games in the woods as children melted away when Kian touched him so tenderly.
He chirped and clicked a couple of times subconsciously out of happiness but fought hard enough that his muscles physically tensed as he pushed it back down his throat. As he pulled Kian as close as possible so that their chests were flushed against each other and they kissed each other needily he felt his hybrid traits surge through his mind and into his body.
He fought it, telling his newfound instincts to fuck off. His hands left where they were placed on Kian’s shoulders and copied his motions by sliding his hands down to Kian’s exposed chest; hesitantly moving further down his pecs to ghost his hands over the twin scars that adorned his chest.
“Can I touch them?” He said breathily and he felt Kian smile against his lips.
“I think you just want an excuse to touch my ti-“
“Shut up Ki, I just think they’re cool.” He snickered at the use of ‘Ki’ as that was usually Rand’s common nickname for him, and he nodded permission. He unbuttoned his already mostly unbuttoned shirt a few more down, allowing it to fall down his shoulders so that his scars and tattoos were on full view. Rolan traced the pale pink lines on his skin from where they started on his ribs and across his chest, connecting in the middle.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, admiring the linework of the butterfly tattoo and the wings that spread out right under his collarbones.
“You flatter me,” he joked, enthralled by Rolan’s eyes on the art he’d chosen to permanently install on his body. Soft hands with painted fingernails moved carefully from his stomach to his hair to cart his hands through it, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Rolan leaned back up to reciprocate the affection but Kian put his hand on his chest, pausing him. “Is holding them back painful?”
“Holding what back?” Oh god, he didn’t want to make Kian uncomfortable with his weird bugness and he had a feeling that Kian knew he was holding in his clicks.
“Your clicks, you winced when you stopped doing them.” Rolan flustered but for different reasons, looking away.
“It’s fine, they don’t bother me at all, if it makes you happy click away.”
Rolan hesitated, caught between wanting to believe Kian’s acceptance and his own insecurity. He slowly let the clicks escape his throat, a rhythmic tapping sound almost.
ClickclickclickClickclickclickClickclickclickClickclickclick
He was sure his lips would be sore tomorrow, but Kian Stone was a surprisingly gentle kisser. When he pulled him as close as possible as their bodies could press he let himself click and happiness flooded his mind as it reminded him of the first kisses he and Kian had shared as teenagers and kids. He never changed the way he leaned in, or the way he was ever so gentle with the way he moved his lips like whoever he was kissing was the most valuable thing in the world.
The air around them was full of the buzzing and clicking noises Rolan was making and the laughs that escaped them when Rolan moved forward attempting to switch their positions so he could sit on top of him but Kian wiggled around on the couch and somehow almost slid off. They laughed and kissed and clicked together while half-kissing and half-roughhousing with each other and the hybrid man got so carried away with his clicks and chirps that he couldn’t pull away from Kian quickly enough when he felt a part of his jaw slide out of place and two large and pointy mandibles slip out from under his gums like a set of twisted fangs. They came out of his mouth quickly almost like they were trying to escape and he tried to move back but he felt the sick feeling of plunging into flesh and Kian let out a choked noise of pain, holding his mouth when he pulled back.
Rolan panicked immediately, a deep sense of guilt and shame washing over him and oh god he was a fucked up monster holy shit what did he just do to Kian—
He scrambled backwards almost falling off the couch, watching as Kian’s face screwed up in pain and blood poured out from between the fingers holding his mouth. He reached out a hand to grab Kian and retracted it quickly in fear of hurting him again but ultimately grabbed him and pulled him up rushing him in fear and desperate panic to the bathroom.
When he caught a look of himself in the bathroom mirror he noticed that his eyes had retracted from being their normal versions and had gone pitch black again, his mandibles having fully retracted and he grabbed a wad of toilet paper, fighting tears as he pushed it against Kian’s lips and tilted his head up to stop the bleeding. As soon as he was sure his girlfriend wouldn’t actively die of bleeding out he felt his legs almost give out under him, wobbling and finding himself on the floor and curled up. He hurt Kian. He hurt Kian.
His mind repeated this viscously at him and his vision blurred. He was going to hate him and think he was disgusting and there was nothing that he could do about it because he deserved it for being an abomination.
He scrambled up against the tub and tried to Will the thoughts out of his mind as the fluorescent lights of the bathroom seemed to burn his eyes. That, or the tears.
His heart pounded in his chest with paranoia and the burning urge to run so he wouldn’t hurt anyone else, he felt something poke him which snapped him out of his spiral and he lifted his head from where it was tucked into his arms.
Kian’s socked foot had poked him in the shoulder, and he was sitting on the toilet seat looking down at him. Toilet paper pressed against his mouth, muffling his voice as he spoke.
“’Ey? Wh’ts wr’ng?”
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? I hurt you Kian! I’m dangerous!” He didn’t mean to yell, but he’d worked himself up, his arms tugging and scratching at himself.
Kian’s eyebrows furrowed in concern and he held up a finger to signal ‘give me a moment’. He pressed the wad of paper against his mouth harder and then slowly peeled it off. He winced slightly and looked in the mirror, observing the two puncture holes that were symmetrical on his bottom lip. “Gnarly dude, I think they look cool. I was meaning to repierce my lips anyway since they closed up—“
“Cool? Kian, look at me! I hurt you!” Rolan stumbled up, shouting at Kian while tears pricked at his eyes. “…….I’m a fucked up creature and you’ll never want to kiss me again.”
“Hey, Hey, babe,” he said ‘babe’ tenderly, grabbing Rolan’s hand when he turned to him. “It was an accident and accidents happen. I can’t even begin to understand how weird it must feel to have all these new senses and bug feelings.”
Rolan’s hands loosened their tight grip, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I still feel shitty about that though, I mean, is your lip okay?”
Kian was rifling through the bathroom sink cabinet, pulling out a small jingling box. He opened it and various rings for piercings and earrings sat in it. He picked out two black rings and carefully unscrewed each of them and slid them into the holes in his lower lip. “Totally, I’ve always known I look hot with snakebites.”
He posed in the mirror, wiping off some of the smeared blood. It stopped bleeding, but Rolan still felt shaky. He watched himself in the mirror standing behind Kian, the panic subsiding but the guilt stayed with him. “You’re really not mad at me?”
“Ro, Rolan, have I ever been one to get mad over somethin’ small, dude? Do you remember that time I had a panic attack and accidentally fuckin’ punched you in the face? You weren’t mad at me then for somethin’ I couldn’t control so I won’t be mad at you for something you can’t control either, dude.”
The lanky man enveloped the blonde in a hug, returning it with equal force. “Sometimes I forget that you’re not a total dick all the time.” Rolan muttered softly into his chest.
He moved to step away but Kian gently grabbed his arm, trailing it to his belt loops and pulling him against the sink. “I know you and I know you’re gonna beat yourself up over this but don’t. Girls, guys, bugs, I’m not picky, we survived hell together and I love you with antennas or not.”
His kiss was incredibly soft because his lips had to be sore (from the surprise piercing or the flustering) but it was just as intoxicating as every other kiss with Kian.
Rolan said nothing back, just melted into it with soft clicks emanating from his throat.