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Chip had experienced a lot of pain in his life.
It started from the moment he was kicked out of the orphanage, and he thought for a while it was over. He thought for just a moment he’d found safety in the big arms of Arlin and the triumphant cheers of his sister Lizzie and his scruffy idol, Drey. But that was all taken away from him before he could even realize he needed them to feel loved.
Despite what he thought, his story didn’t end up there. For one reason or another he ended up in the arms of a girl with fire in her heart and wings that burned like icarus, forever destined to run away from the sun which only threatened to burn her wax wings. She wasn’t it though, with her bright fire came the strong hands of an electric soul that captivated Chip’s mind. He pulled the triton out of the water unbeknownst to the future that lied ahead. A future where he was close enough to feel Gill’s nose crack under the momentum of his fist but never close enough to get a second taste of his lips.
And that is simply how they tangoed. The pain came and went for the second time in his life, and he was so ready to let it go. He was ready to fall into the strong arms of a man from such an unknown place like the undersea, but alas he never fessed up. He never thought he was worthy of being loved by someone like Gillion.
Gillion was the sun and he was simply a comet passing by. He brought light and love and laughter to every room he stepped into and into every place he touched. He was a swirling force of strength and power and love and Chip was confined to see him but never get as close as he wanted. He would never get to let him know just how much he loved him. He meant so much, but that was a secret for Chip to die with.
Gillion was the moon and Chip was just a message in a bottle being thrown around by the waves that he controlled.
This all changed however when Gillion wrapped his slightly webbed fingers around the back of Chip’s bandana-covered messy hair and brought him in for a kiss. The kiss that chip longed for so dearly with his whole heart. He’d never forget that kiss for as long as he lived. He felt his face relax and he melted into it as if Gill’s lips had been shaped to press up against his. Gill separated though and it was over before he could even say it began. Chip had to remind himself that this wasn’t real. It was just for Jay in this stupid, stupid room.
But still after they emerged from the caves and freed everybody who was frozen in stone and time on the isles, he never stopped thinking about it. All he longed for was to see the triton look at him the way he did when he separated, full of love and pride. Nobody had ever looked at him like that in his life and the moment he breathed that feeling in he was addicted.
Time passed though.
Oceans were traveled and foes were beaten. Confessions were made. Painful rejections occurred. There was nothing in the whole world the brunette had longed for more then to be safe in Gill’s arms for just 5 minutes. But he stood there and he said no. he said “No, I'm sorry but I dont like you like that, Gill.”
Those lies burned hot on his tongue and rolled off unnaturally, but what else can you say when all your love has gotten you is lungs full of charcoal and wounds that never stopped bleeding?
Now he stood here in pain again. He was playing dress-up; he was in this fancy suit in this fancy fucking house watching a tiefling with freckled light green skin and eyes prettier then Chip would ever have making Gillion laugh harder then he ever did. He watches them from afar as the tiefling sets down their drink and puts a hand on Gillion’s shoulder and their tail snakes around his waist and pulls him closer and he feels sick. They banter playfully and a part of both his body and mind shatter that day. Gillion is slipping through his fingers, and he could feel it.
With every drink he slammed down, the world swayed a little bit harder and the background music faded further and further from his ears. He craved a type of drunkenness that he hadn’t experienced in a long time; the type where the alcohol stopped burning his body and instead started numbing.
He continued this pattern of glancing at Gillion and his partner but mostly Gill and chugging all the drinks he could get his shaky hands on until Jay noticed him drinking himself dead and slung her arm under his arms to keep him standing upright. “O-kay buddy, I think it's time to cut you off from the free drinks.”
He protested weakly, but his shoves were just light swats to her shoulder and she quickly found that it she held him by the scruff of his suit like a kitten it was much easier to maneuver him through the crowd.
“Whaaat about Gill? He’s gooot a—“ Chip paused, looking like he might barf but taking a deep breath and continuing his slurred sentence. “—a boyfriend and they’re pretty—“
“Slow down Romeo, I let Gill know we’d be heading back to the ship a little early and purposefully excluded the detail that you were getting blackout drunk. Plus, why do you care if he gets a boyfriend? I think it would be good for him, he looks kinda lonely sometimes.” She said the last part very jokingly, but the further Chip stumbled next to her in silence made her realize that he thought she was completely serious.
Chip couldn’t think of an answer, a justification to why he even cared so much when he knew Gillion could never be his.
“Oh my god.”
“What?” He alerted, trying to sober up to her more serious tone but consequently tripping.
Before his face could hit the floor he felt Jay tugging him back up, her fiery red hair blurring in his vision.
“You're in love with him. You’re jealous.”
His senses stiffened when she said that, reaching his hand out to sturdy himself against Jay’s shoulder while his mouth opened but no words came out. Gill played the lover and he was the fool; it never hurt any less to realize it.
“I’m-I’m n-not fu—heaurghreahgh….fuck off.” Chip devolved to drunken and defensive grumbling, staring down at his shoes thinking as hard as one could in his intoxicated state.
“Very eloquent.” He heard Jay giggle and say something else teasing, but her words flew straight through one ear and right out the other as he climbed the ladder onto the ship and towards their shared quarters.
He soon, with lots of assistance, changed out of his fancy party clothes and into his sleeping clothes but instead of going and immediately passing out on his hammock he grabbed a glass of water to hopefully start sobering himself up and trudged onto the deck to wait for Gillion.
Not too long after he safely made it up to the deck he heard the familiar thumping of his tail when he walked and the footsteps of his fellow co-captain. When Gillion climbed onto the deck he had a large smile on his face and his cheeks were flushed a darker blue which could indicate he was either blushing or mildly tipsy or both.
Gill didn’t even seem to notice where Chip was sitting against the railing until he shot up, awkwardly finding his feet and clumsily leaning up against the railing. “Heey Gill, how was your night?”
“Oh it was wonderful Chip! I danced—and I met this lovely person! Their name was Onyx like the type of rock and they were so sweet it wwe absolutely delightful! They gave me their shellphone number and I’d love to see them again.”
Chip knew it was selfish and terrible for him to be upset that his friend was happy, but he couldn’t help the way his heart twisted in his chest at those words. The implications.
The pirate initially planned to say something else first, to not come off as so needy but the words tumbled out before he could reign in his brain.
“Do they make you happy?”
He took a clumsy and hesitant step forward, grabbing a fistful of the fabric of Gill’s button-up shirt, pulling him impossibly closer and looking him in the eyes. Gill looked down at him, concern faintly visible in his deep blue eyes and he put his webbed hand to his friends forehead. “Are you feeling alright, Chip?”
Chip shook his hand off, tightening his grip. “Please, Gillion, I need to know….do they really make you happy?”
Gillion paused and looked for his words, confused and a bit concerned. “…Yes, they do make me happy. That doesn't change how I view you or Jay, you both are still my dearest friends! But they…they made me feel a new emotion tonight. One I didn’t think was possible for someone like me.” His smile and blush were faint, but definitely there.
Chip’s grip tightened and then loosened, forcing himself to let go and keep his hands to himself. “Thank you Gill, that’s all I needed to know. I’ll see you tomorrow, I’m gonna stay up here and watch the stars for a bit.”
That seemed to reassure Gillion and he smiled wider, wishing him a good night and heading down the stairs to the sleeping quarters.
Chip walked slowly to the helm, taking in some deep breaths to try and quell the fire in his lungs and heart. He stood against the railing for a couple moments, fighting back tears that flowed regardless.
He took a handful of steps back, checking his surroundings and getting into a runner’s position before running full-speed forward and vaulted straight over the railing.
Straight into the depths of the harbour.
People like him just didn't get happy endings, huh?