Work Text:
A flower does not bloom in the shade
Todd grew up in the shadows of his older brother's glowing achievements. Whether it be valedictorian or even top of his gym glass, Jeff never failed to amaze. The only one who ever showed distaste for the young man was Todd. Todd who wielded participation trophies or a report card with a ‘B+’. Todd who would never bloom into what his brother is, not even close. Maybe it was all in his head—or maybe, he feared, it was true—but the repetition of this self doubt mantra over many fundamental years began to wear at him. It frayed his edges and turned him into an insufferably awkward husk of what people expected him to be.
Starting schooling at Welton was a colossal reversal of his former mindset. Never had an adult regarded Todd as anything special, his quiet nature usually casting a blinding shadow over his outstanding work. Being odd set him apart in a world that was conditioned to do so. But Mr. Keating, Todd’s new English teacher, refused to conform to expectations. He noticed Todd before the boy was even given the chance to prove himself—it was as if he’d been expecting the boy to enter his life all along. However, like pulling hairs from their roots, Keating still struggled in pulling him out of his shell. Until Neil—Todd’s roommate who by no means should have ever acknowledged him either.
Neil was like Jeff. Confident, well-versed, regarded highly among his peers. His grades were fantastic, and when he spoke people listened. When he had offered Todd an olive branch, the other boys around him had to. But, the most striking thing of all was that Neil had become Todd’s closest friend, perhaps his first of the variety. Todd had seen the other boy get along with many students before, often sharing jokes or going over homework—Neil’s radiant personality sailing him smoothly through any given topic. So knowing this, Todd was startled that Neil seemed to enjoy their talks, which were considerably more mellow in comparison. The blonde wasn’t known to prattle and usually had to be probed before allowing himself the chance to share unfiltered—unlike Charlie, another friend of Neil’s who was known for speaking in such a crass manner that Todd had been winded the first time they’d met. And despite all of this, Neil still thought so highly of Todd.
So what did Neil see in him? The question hung thick in the air for the first month, or so, of their friendship, unanswered and ever daunting, until he finally—and simply—let it go. He let go of the doubt that ate at his stomach every night he lay awake, staring at Neil’s side of the room. He let go of the unease he had around his classmates—his friends. The group of boys who would drag each other into the woods in the dead of night to read poetry together, calling themselves the Dead Poets Society. Welton had opened him up to a world of change, in fact he never knew was capable of anything worthwhile until pen met paper and he first spun words into golden verse.
He’d found his passion, his place, his family.
“A long weekend at home,” He’d startled when he got the news. “A time to reconnect with family and reflect on your first semester’s nearing conclusion.” After so many months away—maybe a few letters and phone calls here and there—Todd wasn’t sure he could brave his past. Not after he’d worked so hard on his developing future. He was set on forgetting the whole ordeal until Charlie and Neil nearly begged him to face his family, to prove that Todd has something inside of him worth a great deal. Unfortunately, and begrudgingly, he had agreed and hastily packed, giving no thought to the importance of this visit.
But now, sitting at a familiar dinner table—feeling the familiar knot in his throat—Todd ached for his shell. The former comfort of suffocating under a lie and calling it relief. It may have honestly come as a relief to his parents, that even if their son was no good he could at least act like it. But Todd hadn’t felt this useless in months, and what otherwise may have been a few rough waves of trouble from his family quickly became a tsunami against the dam he’d worked hard to construct at Welton.
In his attempt to fade away into the background—per usual at any family event—Todd caught his mother’s eyes, who quickly flashed a look to his father and then back at him. Instinctively he glanced over, trying to ride the tail coats of his conversation with Jeff. He watched his father nearly ogling at the man as explained his current achievements in university: awards, top marks, all the usual fawning over him that seemed to happen whenever he so much as lifted a finger. Todd bit at his inner cheek, he loved Jeff and it wasn’t his fault he was so damn perfect, but he was beginning to fold under this pressure.
“And what’s this award… thing again?”
“Summa cum laude,” His brother quickly supplied, “Awarded for the highest grade percentages of my department.”
“Jeff, we cannot tell you how proud of you we are,” His mother chimed in happily, sending a loving smile to her eldest.
“Thank you, mom, but I won’t be receiving it until graduation,” He shared almost dejectedly. Todd held his tongue.
“Well, son, I speak for all of us when I say we’re looking forward to it,” His father clapped him proudly on the shoulder, to which Jeff smiled bashfully.
“Todd, you’ll be there, right?” Jeff managed to rope Todd into the conversation, forcing three pairs of eyes to land upon him.
“Of- of course,” He stuttered out quickly with a smile, this being the first time he’d been acknowledged all dinner. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the sympathy smile his mother was sending him.
There was a lull in the conversation, everyone looking about expectantly for the silence to be broken somehow.
“So, Todd ,” His father finally spoke, eyes averted as if proving his disinterest, “How’s Welton?”
“Very good. I’ve been keeping up with work and-” There was a beat, “And I’ve even joined a few clubs.” He inhaled shakily—not sure how much he was supposed to be saying—before continuing, “I have some really great teachers as well, Mr Keating-”
“That’s nice, son,” His father cut him off, giving him a thin lipped smile.
He felt his mother’s hand slide over his own that rested on the table following the cold and empty remarks from his father. He gave her a lachrymose, half smile before pulling his hand from under hers to place it tenderly on his lap. He tried to hide their shaking by gripping tightly to his pants, not wanting to show how severely his father’s approval, or lack thereof, affected him. He was sure the meal had continued afterwards—the kind of sure one is that the sun will rise, and the clocks will tick—and yet his focus now was on finishing his plate and escaping the room. Whatever chatter happened around him now fell short of his ears, a dulled feeling he nearly always associated with his family.
Dinner was over not long after the brief back-and-forth with his father, finally allowing Todd to escape to his bedroom. Before he could make it out of the kitchen, however, Jeff caught his arm. He winced, more out of surprise than pain, at the fingers wrapped tightly around his bicep.
“Everything okay?” Jeff asked in a hushed tone.
Todd clenched his jaw. He spent so much time resenting his brother, so much time missing the feeling of sunlight when they stood adjacent to one another, that he’d forgotten how much Jeff did care about Todd. He swallowed thickly, feeling the tears from earlier rising up his throat once more, however, this time from guilt. He gave a curt nod to his brother, before plastering on an award winning smile, “Yeah, just tired. Long trip and all...”
Jeff let go hesitantly, although still keeping his hand on his brother’s arm. He peered into Todd’s eyes as if to search his soul for the truth, but Todd quickly averted them. Whatever Jeff had intended to pry from the younger boy refused to surface itself. The hand still resting near Todd’s shoulder gave him a strong pat before he turned to go. Finally breathing again, Todd raced to his room not wishing to be faced with another roadblock.
As freeing as isolation may have sounded earlier, being alone with his thoughts now was almost more stifling than being in the presence of his family. As the hours of night slowly faded into the morning, Todd lay on top of his bedding staring at the ceiling. He’d gotten very used to the dingy, twin bed he’d been sleeping in at Welton—accompanied by the rustling of Neil across the room or the scuffling of feet outside his door—that sleep did not come easy to his unrested mind, no matter how much he desired it.
The real comfort of his bed at Welton was that it was at Welton.
Much later, when his eyelids finally began to give in, a thankful Todd pulled a thin blanket over himself, chasing at least a few hours of sleep.
He woke up the next morning shivering, stiff, and—if it’s even conceivable—more exhausted than he’d been the night before. He rubbed his eyes, debating the pros and cons of getting out of bed, before shucking the single blanket off of him and swiftly standing. Being away from school had stripped him of his sense of purpose. There was no work to be done at home, no Dead Poets meetings to attend, no friends to keep him occupied.
That was truly the withdrawal he was experiencing now. Before Welton, he could count his friends on one hand, none of which he was ever really close with. Meeting Neil was like being thrown into the deep end and then being taught to swim. And yet, no matter how different Todd felt from the boys he was so often surrounded by, he’d learned his place in no time at all. He somehow managed to have something in common with all of the Poets, even Cameron—who he was sure had initially hated him.
But perhaps the more subconscious ache he felt was from the lack of Neil. A boy he’d spent nearly every day of the past few months with. A boy who could read Todd just from the look in his eyes. A boy who truly knew him. And perhaps Todd’s inexperience—in all classifications—led him to believe that the nerves that wound themselves tightly in the pit of his stomach were strictly platonic. Perhaps he believed that the red which stained the tips of his ears, appearing only in the presence of Neil, was only a product of the boy's incessant shyness. And now, as those feelings faded away into the sickening feeling of worthlessness, he tried desperately to cling to them.
In a hazy sequence of events, Todd stumbled over to his suitcase, squatting down to access it, and began sifting through it for something warm to wear. As his eyes blinked away the remnants of sleep, his fingers brushed against a thick, wool-like material tucked deep within his luggage. Hastily he extracted the article of clothing, holding it up in front of him for a quick inspection. It was a slightly rumpled, warm looking, green sweater. Todd chewed his lip as he continued his examination, trying to put his finger on the memory of packing this. The shade was vibrant and it looked recently worn, the collar had some imperfections, and the fuzz it emitted clung to the adjacent clothing in his bag. It wasn’t his, he could be sure of that much.
Sudden—and almost obvious—realization struck him. In the act of frantically packing for this weekend he’d grabbed Neil’s sweater, which had been carelessly discarded into a growing pile of clothing in the center of their room. He hadn’t even realized it wasn’t his own when he was shoveling random clothing into his bag haphazardly. Hesitantly, Todd rubbed his fingers against the fabric, thumbing at the collar, as he remembered the idiodic giggling that had ensued during the act of packing his bag. Todd took care of his clothing, Neil took care of his work books and toiletries, throwing them across the room and into the open bag—narrowly missing Todd’s head.
The now present Todd softened at the memory, allowing a small smile to touch his lips before pulling the sweater into a hug. It still smelled like his roommate which gave him a sudden burst of comfort. There was something deeply rich about it, like the thick air before a storm, and all the same something light and warm, a meadow in its wake. However, comfort quickly turned into shame as he briskly dropped the material back into his bag, kicking it slightly and putting some distance between the two.
What am I doing? Todd scrubbed at his eyes hard with the heels of his palms. Leaving home had been terrifying for him half a year ago, and now leaving Welton brought on the same fears. He longed for the life he’d grown accustomed to back, even if he’d only be parted from it for a few days.
After allowing himself a moment of self pity, a moment to let the salty waves of angst roll over him, he stood, brushed himself off—metaphorically and physically—and started for his wardrobe to actually get dressed. He feared rummaging through his suitcase any further would reveal that his mindless hands had stolen more than just Neil’s sweater.
Saturday passed quickly, Sunday was church followed by a dinner with long time family friends, and suddenly Monday was upon Todd—his last day home before returning to school that night. Even with this reassurance, he still felt sick to his stomach. Any amount of time spent at the Anderson household was far too much in his books. Todd, by no means, hated his mother or father—nor Jeff for that matter—and yet he held a deep resentment for the house he was raised in. But it didn't matter now, he would be returning to his home, his real home, soon. A few more brave faces, quick hugs, and polite smiles and he was sailing smoothly once more.
Smooth sailing. Todd heaved a sigh, lugging his heavy suitcase down the stairs. The thud it created when slammed against the wooden floor caused his mother to peek her head in, fully entering the room upon identifying her youngest son.
“We’re going to miss having you around again, Todd,” She reached out to hold the boy.
“Yeah mom, me too,” He hugged her back gently, trying to picture a time when he would have sincerely meant those words in an attempt to not let his tone fall flat. He sensed it had, however, when she cleared her throat—perhaps expelling a few stray tears—and pulled back prematurely.
“You know,” She wrung her hands nervously, treading lightly and watching her son’s face for emotional cues, “Your father loves you… very dearly. He just wants what’s best for you—and Jeff of course.”
Todd stood rigid, air caught in his throat on its way out.
Remembering to breathe moments later, he could feel his chest rattle with each shaky inhale and exhale. She eyed him, waiting for his response, a reaction, anything . But, in typical Todd fashion, he just stood there quietly. The silence was deafening and dressed the room in a palpable awkwardness.
Finally, Todd opened his mouth—though it was dry and lacking any words entirely, “I- I know.”
“You two are very alike,” His mother’s lips curled into a smile, and equally Todd’s stomach curled into a knot, as she brushed at his uniform jacket. “He doesn’t mean to compare you to Jeff, he just wishes for you two to have similar opportunities,” She tacked on quietly to the end of her ‘speech’.
“I understand,” Brave face. Smooth sailing.
Smile, Todd. Todd smiled halfheartedly.
He really did appreciate his mothers efforts, Jeff’s too. But if his father had meant it, he’d say it to him. Todd knew this now, after years of begging for any stray attention his father had to offer. Like a feral dog begging for scraps at the dinner table. Todd wouldn’t allow himself to be humiliated like that anymore.
“Well,” His mother sighed heavily, chuckling a little as she wiped away a single tear that had betrayed her routinely cheerful face, “Your father will drive you to school around three, come get some lunch before you leave,” She turned quickly, hurrying back to the kitchen where she’d begun to prepare a light meal.
Todd followed, although he didn’t feel much like eating, especially knowing he’d be spending unfiltered alone time with his father in nearly three hours. His stomach upset him, but he wouldn’t let that upset his mother in return, so he nibbled lightly at the sandwich she’d placed in front of him.
Alone with his father, Todd shifted about uncomfortably in the passenger seat, tapping lightly against the bag at his feet.
They’d been on the road for what had to have been at least an hour, and yet no words had been shared. Not even a greeting when his father had announced that his wrist-watch read three o’clock. Todd didn’t mind though. They’d never gotten along before, and he didn’t plan on doing so now.
As he watched the streets become familiar again, a sudden jolt of excitement erupted in his chest. The finish line was nearly in sight now.
And as if accidentally having cursed himself by thinking so positively, his father began to speak, “Todd, you may think I don’t care about you, not as much as Jeff or maybe not at all, but do you think I would have enrolled you at Welton if I didn’t? Do you, boy?”
“No- no, sir,” Todd tried to level his tone, responding quickly. He should have expected this, his father was never one to lay down and die like his youngest son.
“Then you doubt me out of disrespect?”
“Father I-” He tried to cut in.
“Don’t you interrupt me.”
Todd bit his inner cheek, hearing the venom laced in his father’s words. He may not have been shouting them, but like a knife they sliced into him brutally.
“Is it my own fault that I gave you the same chances I gave Jeff only for you to throw them out? You have your mother worried. You have Jeff worried,” Todd watched his father’s knuckles turn white as he gripped the steering wheel in silent rage. “Did I raise you to be so negligent? So ungrateful? You will get your act together, young man. It’s time you started acting like your brother.”
The rest of the ride was silent.
When his father’s car pulled into the Welton parking lot, Todd couldn’t escape fast enough. He flung the door open and yanked his bag out, not caring as it dropped heavily onto the asphalt below. Before shutting the door though, his father spoke one last time.
“For once, make me proud to call you my son.”
And he was gone into the sea of cars exiting onto the main road once more
Todd had planned on some grandiose and joyful reunion with his friends, mulling it over on the nights he couldn’t sleep back home. But now, all dreams of this lay shattered at his feet. He hadn’t even stopped by his room to drop his bag off, instead opting to immediately rush to his favorite spot where he could be alone.
It was a dilapidated dock at the far end of the lake which bordered the backside of Welton. It wasn’t particularly stunning in terms of aesthetics, but it was the kind of quaintness that brought a deep sense of comfort to him. It could be attributed to the fact that it wasn’t just his spot. Neil often accompanied him on his walks over, forcing Todd to run lines with him or just talk about his day—something he often had to dig deep into to earn him any kind of meaningful response. There had been nights that the two boys had just sat in silence here, listening for the sounds of wildlife, tracing the constellations as they lay flat on their backs. He’d hoped coming here would allow those memories to wash away this rejection he felt burrowing itself into his chest.
He’d left his bag planted safely on the grass just before the wooden planks which stretched only a few yards out into the shallow water. Sitting as close as he could to the edge, Todd’s shoulders slumped heavily, shaking with his back as he took in ragged breaths. He felt embarrassed, not only by what his father had said, but by how much misery it brought him. How it had left him weeping into the lake for nearly an hour now.
The wind whipped harshly at his tear stained cheeks, sending a shiver down his spine. He drew his knees into his chest, attempting to contain his body's heat. As the sun had begun to dip, the air only became colder, and yet not even freezing weather would have forced him inside while still in such a vulnerable state. He wondered if the other boys were back now, perhaps they were waiting for dinner together, sharing laughs and smiles amongst each other once more.
Another sob broke from his chest. His father had stolen that moment from him. His father had stolen many moments from him. He was pitifully useless as a result of his father’s neglect, and that left him here. Alone and in the cold, the whole weekend abruptly came crashing into him, forcing the tears to begin falling rapidly with no sign of ever stopping.
And suddenly his sadness turned to anger. Boiling, red hot anger that had come on like a train hurtling through a brick wall. He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream at everyone, at himself. Frustrated hands knotted quickly into his hair, gripping tightly he felt the sting of his scalp, which pleaded to be released. He let a muffled scream escape into the knees hugged tightly to his chest, more tears following suit. He continued to wail into the darkness, his shame only making it worse.
Negligent.
Ungrateful.
Be like Jeff.
Todd covered his ears quickly, shaking his head furiously.
Enough! Leave me alone!
Panic quickly began setting in as he tried, futilely, to stop the scene of his father in the car playing in his head once more. He gasped for air but nothing came, his chest suddenly tight and throat mysteriously closed. Horrified, he clawed at the collar of his shirt, begging for air. The biting wind continued to close in on him, his shaking now indiscernible from the cold or the panic attack.
Through all of this, Todd hadn't managed to hear the heavy footsteps rushing towards him. He wasn’t made aware of another person's presence until he felt protective arms slide around his own, hugging him tightly chest-to-back. And although he’d initially tensed at the physical contact, he soon recognized the perpetrator and sunk into the other, lungs finally inflating though not by much. A heavy storm turned calming meadow.
“Breathe, Todd. Just breathe,” Neil coaxed, his voice soothing juxtaposed the blonde’s erratic emotions. Todd tried to regulate himself once more, listening to the other boy’s breaths coming and going at a deliberately slow pace. When he was finally breathing normally again—Neil hadn’t let go of him until he was sure of it—he let out a soft cry.
“I’m- Neil, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” He cried, hiding his face in his knees again.
Neil, who was now beside him, rubbed his back gently, “Todd, you don’t need to apologize.”
“But Neil-”
“It’s okay. You’re alright now.”
Todd let out one final, shaky breath, before lifting his head to look at Neil. The sun had nearly completely set now, but there was something so inexplicably bright about the boy sitting next to him.
“Can I ask what happened,” Neil looked nervous as if he hadn't really meant to ask the question and yet it had somehow slipped out anyway.
Todd looked away, opting to stare at the dark water below him. He bit his lip trying to hold back any more tears. “My family. My dad, really,” He began, picking at the decaying wood chips on the dock and tossing them gently into the lake. “You know my older brother, Jeff, right?”
“Know of him,” Neil tilted his head, watching Todd intensely.
“Well you know, being as perfect as he is, my parents have always expected the same from me. So much so that sometimes it’s like I don’t even come from the same family. Or- or somethings wrong with me. I’ll never be like Jeff, or even half the man he is. I think my mother understands that now, disappointing as it is, she understands. But my father won’t let go. And… and he’s dragging me down with him.”
There was silence for a moment, and then Todd looked over, "I'm a sinking ship Neil.” He never meant to unload this onto Neil, and now that he had he needed to back out quickly and painlessly.
“Todd..” Neil reached out again, eyes full of sorrow.
This time, no matter how badly he wanted to be held by the other boy, Todd batted his hand away lightly, “No Neil, you’ll end up drowning too. I’m sorry I made you see all this,” He gestured to himself broadly before placing his hands down and hoisting himself up so he was standing again. A little wobbly, but standing. Neil tried to follow, but Todd had already taken off in search of his bag.
“Stop! Please stop!”
“Leave me alone,” Todd bit his lip, he didn’t mean it and he knew that was apparent. Shit.
“Don’t shut me out,” Neil caught up to him when he bent over to grab his luggage.
“I want to be alone,” Todd’s voice shook, bag now in hand.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Neil-”
“Stop! Okay? Just stop,” Neil grabbed Todd’s arm, spinning him around so they were face-to face.
Before Todd could even open his mouth to object, Neil began to speak, “Todd, whatever your good-for-nothing father said about you is wrong. It’s all wrong. Don’t you know that by now? Hasn’t being here shown that to you?”
Todd looked away, glancing at the building behind them. His thoughts were quickly broken up, however, by Neil’s hand coming to his cheek, guiding him back into their conversation.
“He doesn’t know you like we do. He’ll never know how incredible you are, how talented and amazing you are.”
“Maybe,” Todd’s face crumpled and the tears in his eyes began to spill over his bottom lids, “Maybe you don’t know me.” He brushed the hand off his face, taking a step backwards. He couldn’t let Neil know this horribly ugly side of him. This side of him he’d tried not to bring to Welton, tried to lock away tightly. He should have known it would leak through the cracks eventually.
“That’s not true,” Neil laughed in disbelief, “That’s not true at all. I know that you smile differently when you think people aren’t watching. I know you pull at the cuffs of your sleeves when you’re nervous. I know you don’t like making eye contact but when you do I’m completely and utterly lost at sea. I know that when you’re standing next to me nothing else matters. Not my father, not Welton, not acting. Nothing, Todd,” He took a breath, stepping closer. “I know that right now I want to kiss you so badly it hurts. I need you in every way I can have you, and it’s killing me that I can’t help you, so please don’t shut me out,” His eyes were dark but warm, a determined and enticing look on his face.
Todd couldn’t breathe again, but the feeling was different this time. His chest was tight and his face was red, but by no fault of the freezing weather. Another tear rolled down his cheek and when Neil wiped it away, Todd leaned into his touch. The other boy smiled hesitantly, hoping to have tamed the hurricane within Todd.
“I’m sorry,” Was all Todd could say before pulling Neil into a tight embrace, arms wrapping around his upper back. His hands clung to the fabric of his coat, trying to stay in the moment forever. Neil’s arms, similarly, coiled around his waist, holding the two close to one another. Todd took in a few ragged breaths as Neil soothed him, rubbing his back gently.
Neil pulled back slightly, causing Todd to look up at him questioningly. He looked nervous, eyes not focused on any one part of Todd’s face.
“I still… I still want to kiss you.”
Todd’s heartbeat accelerated quickly—nearing dangerously unsafe levels—hands shaking despite their strong grip on Neil. He took a breath in before smiling as he nodded slowly.
Neil didn’t hesitate, grinning wildly as he pulled Todd close to him. They hovered a few inches away from each other's face before Todd laughed quietly, “What if I’m no good at it?” The laugh sounded choked, however, nerves gripping his throat tightly.
Their lips connect and Todd breathes out. He doesn’t even have time to be worried about what to do with his hands, which way to tilt his head, or how to move his mouth with Neil guiding him tenderly through it all. With one hand on his lower back and another on the back of his head, Neil leans into Todd before pulling away, Todd desperately chasing his lips before awkwardly opening his eyes.
“You’re right, that was terrible,” His smile betrayed his words and Todd wanted to laugh but his desire to be near the boy again was far greater. This time, Todd was the one to kiss Neil, although it would be better to say their lips were close in proximity as neither boy could keep a grin off their faces. They exchanged a few more light pecks and giggles before hearing the loud chatter of some boys near the academy building.
“We should go inside,” Neil whispered against Todd’s ear as they held each other once more.
“Okay,” He whispered back, Neil feeling the movement of his head nodding against the side of his head.
Together they trekked back into the familiar halls of the school, yet together now meant something entirely unfamiliar to both of them.
“Some break,” Charlie sighed heavily, sinking into a couch cushion in the boy’s lounge.
“Yeah?” Meeks followed suit, however he sat straighter than the boy on his left.
“Must’ve been so hard sleeping on silk sheets for a change,” Cameron rolled his eyes, earning him a flying book to the head—which he dodged. Narrowly.
A chorus of laughter rang out through the room, the boys glad to finally be together again.
“Has anyone seen Neil?” Knox dropped down in the circle, looking around their equally confused expressions.
“Has anyone seen Todd ?” Charlie added pointedly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t you get anything, Knoxious?” Charlie flicked his head.
“So what, are we gonna send out a search party?” Pitts laughed.
“Maybe,” Knox averted his attention towards someone who was—partially—taking this seriously.
“It’s their own fault if they get in trouble,” Cameron shrugged, his tone dry and uncaring.
“Jesus, Cameron,” Charlie rolled his eyes, “And Knox, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”
As if on queue, the door swung open abruptly, revealing Todd and Neil laughing like maniacs.
“Speak of the devil,” Meeks smiled.
“And he shall appear!” Neil fell onto the couch not caring where the already existing limbs beneath him were.
“Where were you?” Knox tried pulling his arm out from underneath the crushing weight of Neil’s entire body.
“And where were you ?” Pitts looked at Todd.
“He was dropped off late, I didn’t want him to eat dinner alone,” Neil smiled casually, filling in the blanks for a speechless Todd.
Charlie poked roughly into Neil’s side, sending him a knowing look that Neil nearly smothered him for.
That night Todd and Neil lay in each other's arms silently, the words spoken through small touches and light kisses.
“Todd?”
“Neil.”
“Will you tell me what happened? What really happened?”
“Maybe- maybe another night?”
Neil leaned forward, kissing him gently, hands laced into his hair, “Okay,” He spoke softly between breaths.
The moonlight illuminated the boys who held each other in Neil’s bed that night. The pale skin of Todd’s chest glowing brightly under Neil’s cautious fingers. The two explored territory vaguely familiar and yet comeply new—lips on necks, hands on stomachs. After a dreadful weekend, Neil helped wash away all thoughts of Jeff and Todd’s father, nothing but love passing between the inexperienced boys as they shared a peaceful piece of heaven with one another.
When they later awoke in a mess of limbs—and maybe even some sweat—they only laughed. Together.