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Cyno is concerned.
He rarely ever finds the need to worry about Tighnari, despite the inherent dangers of being a forest ranger—especially a forest ranger as sincere and reckless as Tighnari—but now, he cannot deny the necessity of it.
“Tighnari,” he says, quiet enough that even he knows he isn’t heard. He doesn’t intend to be heard, for the most part.
He has been standing in Tighnari’s house for at least half an hour, silently watching him rushing around giving instructions, managing logistics, answering questions. If Cyno didn’t know him like the back of his hand, he would not have noticed the slight stiffness in Tighnari’s posture, the strain on his face.
“Nasrin, has food been taken down to the sages?” Tighnari calls, shuffling through a sheaf of papers on his desk.
Nasrin appears at the door. “Yes, sir. But—” she hesitates.
“But?”
“But one of them has taken ill. Said the cold got to him.”
“Cold?” Tighnari frowns. “It hasn’t been cold at all these past few days.”
Nasrin shrugs. “Kamran said the sage kept sneezing. Sounds more like an allergy to me, but you know how these sages are.”
Tighnari sighs. “I do, unfortunately. Please send Collei here.”
Nasrin vanishes with a nod.
“Tighnari,” Cyno tries again, marginally louder this time.
Tighnari’s ear twitches in his direction, but he doesn’t look at Cyno. He is kneeling on the floor, rummaging through a large box. He does look up at the knock on the door, though.
“Master Tighnari? You called me?”
Cyno waves at Collei, and she waves back shyly. He’s happy to see her.
“Yes, come in,” Tighnari says. He stands up when she draws close, and Cyno resists the urge to wince on his behalf at the pain that flashes across Tighnari’s face. It’s brief, but Cyno knows Collei notices it too, because she starts to say something. Tighnari, however, starts faster.
“One of the sages is ill. Ask Kamaran to take you there. I’ll prepare medication based on your diagnosis, so report back here when you’re done.”
Collie hesitates, but nods. Tighnari must catch it, because his expression softens when he glances at her. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious. Go ahead and make the diagnosis with confidence.”
She smiles at him and nods more vigorously. “Okay Master! I’ll be back soon.”
She quickly waves goodbye to Cyno too, on her way out.
“Tighnari,” Cyno says again. Tighnari hums noncommittally as he walks past him to signal for Amir to come over.
“Amir, can you please check on insect repellent in the residences? Just handle the east side residences, I’ll take the west.”
“I’ll see if everyone has enough and hand packets out if they don’t, right?”
“That’s right. Last thing we need is a dengue or malaria outbreak.”
“Sir,” Nasrin says breathlessly. “A caravan wandered into Withering Zone C-27. Iraj and Shirin have been dispatched, but—”
“Got it.” Tighnari grabs his bow and quiver. Cyno wants to stop him. More than anything, he wants to shake him, but he doesn’t. He knows how important Tighnari’s work is, he respects him enough to quietly pick his staff up and prepare to follow.
“Nasrin,” Tghnari says, “if Collei comes back, tell her to collect a basic medication first. I will prepare a more targeted one once I return. Amir—”
“Don’t worry, boss,” Amir says cheerfully, “I’ll handle the west-side too. Rudaba will help if I ask anyway.”
“Thank you.”
Tighnari steps towards the door, then hesitates. “Cyno,” he says softly. “Could you go check on the sages? I don’t want them to give Collei a hard time. Her faith in herself is just starting to solidify.”
Cyno hesitates too. He knows why Tighnari is sending him away, but he also cannot dispute the task he is being assigned. “Alright,” he says finally.
Tighnari flashes him a smile, and then he’s gone.
Finding Collei and accompanying her as she tended to the sages’ sudden and numerous ailments takes about an hour and a half in total. By the time he makes his way back to Tighnari’s house, the sun has already set.
He peers in, hoping Tighnari is back, determined to actually talk to him. Tighnari isn’t back.
Cyno prepares to wait. He can’t do much to help—neatening up the space when Tighnari was already handling so much would be a massive hindrance, so he settles on cooking. There’s cooked rice already, and finding the box of fresh mushrooms is easy. He’s about halfway through sautéeing the mushrooms when the door opens.
Tighnari pauses at the doorway, like he had forgotten Cyno is in his house, then sighs and starts to take his boots off.
“Did Collei do okay?” he asks.
“Fine. The sages are acting up a bit, but I plan to have a little seminar with them tomorrow, so that should settle down.”
Tighnari nods, making his way to check on the number of insect repellent packets. Cyno watches him note the number down, then move to check the inventory of herbs.
“Tighnari,” he says, a little weary now.
Tighnari ignores him again, passing by him to look at the stock of medicines.
“ Tighnari ,” Cyno says, finally forceful.
“ What?! ” Tighnari snaps, turning sharply to face him. His ears are pressed back, teeth glinting through a distinctly canine snarl.
Cyno steps back instinctively, and Tighnari crumples.
“What,” he repeats, expression faltering as tears start to roll down his cheeks. “What is it? What do you want? What? ”
“Just stop,” Cyno says gently. He steps forward tentatively, and Tighnari stumbles forward too. “Pause for a bit.”
“I can’t,” Tighnari whispers. “I can’t. There’s so much. So much to do. I can’t.”
Cyno holds him tight.
“You’re doing it, you’re doing it better than anyone,” Cyno tells him.
Tighnari sniffs and shakes his head minutely against Cyno’s collarbone. “I can’t,” he repeats.
Cyno sighs and draws back slightly, just enough to guide Tighnari over to the couch. Tighnari wipes his tears with the back of his hand as he follows and curls up in Cyno’s lap. He hugs his tail, sniffling. The tears haven’t stopped and he’s even more tense, a ball of barely-contained frustration.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he whispers, and Cyno hates the way his ears droop. “Just now, I mean.”
Cyno kisses him on the side of the head. “Don’t worry about that. I was trying to annoy you into responding.”
Tighnari laughs softly. “Well, you succeeded.”
Cyno hums in agreement. “My stubbornness is only beaten by yours.”
Tighnari laughs again, pressing his hands against his eyes. He glances up at Cyno, trying to smile, but it’s wobbly and still teary.
“You know why I’m here,” Cyno says. Tighnari nods. Cyno tilts his head expectantly.
“You’re here to see how I am.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m fine.”
Cyno scoffs, equal parts amazed and incredulous.
“I really am, I promise,” Tighnari insists. “It’s just…”
“Just?”
Tighnari shakes his head and buries his face against Cyno’s neck. Cyno lets him. He knows what it’s like, to need to hide from the world for a bit, to pretend it’s just him and Tighnari, to be held tight and feel safe.
It doesn’t take as long as Cyno expects for Tighnari to speak again, muffled from his position.
“It’s just that I get tired sometimes, you know?”
Cyno nods.
“Everything hurts all the time. I want—I want it to stop.” Tighnari’s voice breaks at that, and he curls up tighter.
“Of course everything hurts,” Cyno says, “you were struck by the lightning of a nearly-complete god. And you didn’t get time to recover at all.”
“That’s okay,” Tighnari says, “I can manage. Just… it gets hard sometimes.”
“Surely you know better than trying to use more work as a painkiller.”
Tighnari smacks him lightly on the arm.
“I’m scared,” he admits.
“Of what?” Cyno asks.
“Will I have to live with this forever? Will I always be scared of the rain now? Will I have to live without fine-motor control? What if I don’t want to? What if I can’t?”
He’s crying again, shaking in Cyno’s arms.
“You’ll be okay,” Cyno says. “Really.”
“You don’t know that,” Tighnari sobs.
“Listen,” Cyno says calmly, waiting till Tighnari looks at him. “I can’t say that the pain will go away. I can’t promise the muscle tremors will stop.” More tears well up in Tighnari’s eyes at that, so he hurries to finish. “But, I know you. You are creative and adaptable and I know, like I know the sun will rise every morning, that you will find a way to make peace with it and do what you can regardless.”
Tighnari squeezes his eyes shut and tucks himself back in Cyno’s hold.
“You might have to remind me of that sometimes,” he mumbles.
“As many times as you want,” Cyno promises. “As many times as you want.”