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Another argument, another fight, nothing out of the ordinary for both Alhaitham and Kaveh, Usually after their many fights, they’d take a break or break up for some time and come back again to make up and make out but not this time, It’s so different this time. It wasn’t their usual break ups, it was something else. Instead of “I need a break.” It went differently.
“I can’t do this, We’re over. It’s my time to take time for myself.”
Kaveh said, tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes, his nose red as if he’s been sniffling in his sobs. Alhaitham merely stood in silence, stunned, but before he could speak out, Kaveh already slammed the door to his room.
There was something different, Alhaitham knows it, he feels it. The wording, it’s different than the last times they’ve broken off. The tone, it felt venomous though solemn. Alhaitham doesn’t know if he should feel worried, sad, frustrated or even anything, he feels so confused and empty. Alhaitham is usually the master of his emotions, he plans them and uses them to his advantage yet standing in the middle of his house he feels like he’s in the middle of a storm. Alhaitham barely slept that night.
When morning struck, Alhaitham knocked softly on Kaveh’s door, softly apologetic almost. He wanted desperately to know what the other meant, were they really beyond saving at that point? At the 3rd attempt to knock, Alhaitham opened the door to check the blonde himself before being met with a clean and empty bed. Kaveh wasn’t there, Kaveh left. The sheets were tidy, no warmth to indicate someone even slept there, as if Kaveh didn’t even sleep.
Kaveh didn’t sleep.
Kaveh left during the dead of night when both were already in their rooms.
To Alhaitham, Kaveh leaving unannounced during their breaks was not a surprise but still, at that time? Kaveh always complained about wanting to sleep early due to wanting to sleep in, it was unnatural of Kaveh to simply leave in his tired state, especially after what happened yesterday. Yesterday both were stressed, especially Kaveh. All that Alhaitham could do was pray to Lesser Lord Kusanali to simply look over Kaveh, make sure he was safe when he left. Sumeru is not a nice place, especially at night.
Due to Kaveh’s disappearance, Alhaitham tries to get back to his daily routine without the blonde whenever they’re not together. Something he knew how to do well, yet he couldn’t focus. He wasn’t there, Kaveh wasn’t there to speak his mind, argue with every sentence that he spoke. So Alhaitham stayed silent, he didn’t debate with the other scholars, no unwarranted critiques and no corrections. It was like Alhaitham was never there in the first place.
-
A few days have already passed and still, Kaveh hasn’t come home yet. With each day that Kaveh wasn’t there, Alhaitham drove himself insane. Luckily he heard nearby the tavern he and Kaveh usually frequents that Kaveh was somewhere having issues with his deadlines, high demand commissions and other work loads, somethings that Alhaitham already knew about Kaveh. Except, there’s one thing that caught his attention, it was the word ‘Rent’. Something that Kaveh always had issues with Alhaitham, what took his interest was that Kaveh was already paying his rent to someone else, which implies that… It can’t be. Alhaitham felt a stab in his chest hearing that Kaveh already moved out without his knowledge. Alhaitham was sure Kaveh’s personal belongings were still intact, still out and about in his house, collecting dust. He didn’t move them one bit, as it was the only few things that at least made him feel like Kaveh was still there with him. This information made him desperate to find Kaveh and for once, he asked for help. Something he never really liked doing.
General Mahamatra, The only person he could trust about his personal ideals due to how much the two have gone through and of course the person who had information about almost everyone in Sumeru.
“You’re looking for Kaveh? Well, It’s strange you’d ask me this first, considering I’m not the one who’s usually close to him per se.”
“Please, just tell me his whereabouts or where you’ve last seen him.”
“Gandharva Ville, Tighnari mentioned he was residing with him for now until he sets his eyes on somewhere grand. Well that’s what I’ve been told. It comes as a surprise to me that you wouldn’t know, weren’t you guys like- dating?”
Alhaitham merely stayed quiet for that question. They were, keyword; were. He doesn’t know what they are now. Strangers? Cause it sure does feel like they’re estranged after this whole ordeal.
Cyno recognized the silence and merely nodded in understanding, he knows not to kick a dog down when it's already hurt. So, he left, let Alhaitham process this information on his own, he knows the other well that’d he;d rather deal with his affairs himself.
Alhaitham merely broke down and so did his heart.
-
A day passed, and someone knocked on Alhaitham’s door. The rush of hope Alhaitham had that it’d be his roommate, coming back to live with him again, but life’s not fair, it never was. Alhaitham was only met with TIghnari who looked off, he of course had this neutral face yet, it's not welcoming. It's not a friendly expression. It was like welcoming a stranger.
“I’m here to pick up a few of Kaveh’s things, he’s been crying non-stop about them so I came here personally so my ears would stop ringing.”
“He couldn’t get them himself?”
“Dream on, You sort of got yourself into this mess so of course he wouldn’t even want to see you.”
“I understand.”
Even with simply getting his belongings back, Kaveh still refuses to see him. Alhaitham couldn’t do anything about it, he can’t just force the other to come back home to him. It's a selfish desire yet Alhaitham just wants to break this calm and proper demeanor of his to cry. So he stood, watching Tignari take away the remaining traces of Kaveh from this house he can no longer call home. His heart begged to protest or at least ask to keep one thing, even that ugly painting he bought due to Kaveh begging him despite the high price, but he can’t. Alhaitham just stared silently, taking it all in.
After Tighnari got all that he needed and left, Alhaitham, still as a rock, merely just froze up. He couldn’t even recognize his own house, a house, no longer a home. The only thing that Tighnari left of Kaveh was his key with a lion keychain attached to it. Oh how he fondly remembers when his keys would be tangled along with the keychain, ending in him accidentally taking both keys with him without noticing. The key chain was from a vendor that promised to donate to the poor children in need, despite Sumeru being kind to those in need and giving to the poor, Kaveh still bought it. Alhaitham knew it was a mere scam to lure those pure of heart, Kaveh also knew that but that's how selfless he was, he didn’t think about himself, he put others first despite his ego.
Alhaitham could only stare at the key in regret, the key didn’t change, yet it felt like its vibrancy and life was sucked away as soon as it’s holder discarded it.
Kaveh was always like this, he breathed life into the world, like the Goddess of Flowers, where she walks, flowers bloom underneath her feet just like how Kaveh, wherever he goes, it seemed like life followed him wherever he went. Kaveh always knew how to bring out the best in people, even those who showed distaste towards him. Even Alhaitham, even him. The one deemed to be a lifeless robot that was bound to his work and studies felt alive around the architect. Now, he is but a husk of what he used to be, a Machine waiting for someone to turn him back on again.
Alhaitham feels so empty.
He lost himself,
Like how he lost the only person he cared about.