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Shadow learns early in life not to make a scene.
'Making a scene' encompasses many things, including but not limited to: crying, screaming, being in pain, zoning out, asking for help, or having nightmares.
Gerald snaps when he expresses any of these, but pain most of all. The Ultimate Lifeform, Project Shadow, should not be suffering random inexplicable pains and bouts of exhaustion.
That would be a failure. That would mean all of Gerald's work was for nothing.
(Shadow learns how to lie not long after.)
----
They enter the convenience store at half past five am, the smoking remains of what used to be a mountain at their heels. Well, Eggman's heels, but that's not gonna remove the ash from their fur or the ringing from their ears.
Shadow's hands hurt. He will not ask for help, and he's glad the doors are automatic.
He's not feeling very… present? The lights aren't sharp, at least, and the store is quiet (usually is, at this hour). Shadow mostly sticks to Sonic's side like a particularly grumpy service animal. Rouge isn't here, so he's the next best thing. Sonic doesn't call him out for it.
"Would you split a box of fruit loops with me?" Sonic asks, and Shadow shrugs.
"Sure. What do they taste like?"
Sonic gasps at him in mock disbelief, chucks the cereal box into their cart so hard Shadow's pretty sure it leaves a dent. "Pure happiness. And also cardboard."
"Sounds delicious," Shadow deadpans. He can hear Knuckles and Amy arguing a few aisles down, Tails' calm voice cutting in every now and again.
There's a woman at the other end of the aisle. Blonde hair, starting to grey. She's staring at them, in that way humans often do. Shadow tries his best to ignore it.
"Crud, the saltines are too high up," Sonic says, tilting his head back. "Can you reach it?"
"No, I'm shorter than you, remember? Here, hold my cane and I'll lift you."
"Sweet!"
Shadow shifts his cane to his non-dominant hand before passing it over to Sonic. He's glad he thought to bring it; his chaos energy reserves are far too drained to power his skates after a fight like that.
He bends down and hooks his shoulder under Sonic's knees, keeps a hand on the hedgehog's thigh for maximum balance as he stands. Sonic laughs, tangling his free hand in Shadow's quills for all of a second before leaning forward to grab the box.
"Can you reach it now?"
"Almost…" Sonic nearly topples forward, Shadow slams his other hand against his waist to prevent his fall. Sonic doesn't even appear to notice. "Got it! You can put me down now."
"I suppose I could. Are you going to make me?" Shadow teases, spins on his heel just to hear Sonic yelp in shock.
"Shit-" Sonic scrambles to lock his arm around Shadow's neck. He's half-laughing, half-screaming, "Shads, I swear to chaos if you give me another head injury today-"
"Fine, fine."
He drops down onto his knees, letting Sonic regain his footing. The position hurts a little, Sonic immediately drops the box in their cart and lends Shadow a hand back to his feet.
He's taking his cane back when a voice calls out from the other end of the aisle, "It's not right for you to pretend like that."
Sonic's eyes go wide, Shadow turns to face the person.
It's the same woman from before, glaring down her nose at them. She seems reluctant to get closer. "There are people who actually need canes, you know."
Shadow swallows back a growl. "Didn't ask for your input, but thanks," he mutters pointlessly- he doubts she can even hear him from this distance. His hands fucking hurt and it doesn't matter; is it really even pain if he can still function?
(Gerald hated it when Shadow borrowed Maria's cane. Said he didn't need it. He was probably right.)
"It's not some fashion trend," she spits at them. Funny take coming from an abled-bodied person, but hey. Who's Shadow to judge.
"Hey," Sonic snaps, balling up his fists. "He's not-"
"Drop it," Shadow says under his breath. "It's fine."
He doesn't need help, he doesn't even need the cane that bad anyway- he lived most of his life without one. Defending his usage of it would be like covering a half-truth with a half-lie.
Sonic stops immediately, but glances between him and the woman. Says, quietly, "But she's being-"
"I don't want to fight anyone about this," Shadow tells him tiredly. "It's not worth it. I look healthy, of course people think I'm lying. It's fine."
"...fine," Sonic relents, in a tone that indicates he thinks it's anything but.
They round the corner. If the woman says anything else to them, Shadow's spacing out too badly to hear it. His ears are ringing again. Like electricity and voices in his head and-
Sonic elbows him. "You okay?"
Don't make a scene, don't make a scene- "Yes." His voice shakes.
"Are you… sure?"
"Yes," Shadow hisses, whipping his head up to glare at him. "It's my own damn fault anyway, I shouldn't need this, I shouldn't-"
Calm down. Stop complaining. It's not that bad.
His head aches and so do his feet and his ears are ringing and passing out on the tile floor sounds really, very nice.
"Okay," Sonic says. "Okay. I know you think that, but it's alright to need things-"
"Everyone thinks that," Shadow says, yet Sonic shakes his head and keeps going.
"You don't have to be in excruciating pain to do things that prevent it. I don't face-tank punches just to prove that I know how to treat a black eye."
"Did. Did you just say 'face-tank' in regular conversation?"
Sonic grins. He slips his hand into Shadow's free one, pushing the cart with the other. "Yeah, that a problem?"
The contact doesn't make Shadow's permanent aches and pains disappear, nor does it lift the fog from his mind. But it feels nice, and helps him breathe easier, and all in all that's more than he ever dreamed of having.
"Yes. I'm leaving you on grounds of you being a gamer."
"Kay, understandable. Come find me when you realize you miss me."
Shadow smiles at the tile floor, squeezes Sonic's fingers with as much strength as he feels like sparing. After a single second, he receives a squeeze in return.
They meet up with the others in the frozen section, Amy arguing with Knuckles about ice cream flavors.
Sonic passes over the cart and his wallet and says they'll wait outside, dragging Shadow out after him without asking permission.
Tails follows, joining them on the bench outside. He falls asleep almost immediately with his face pressed into Sonic's ribs. How he's managing to breathe, Shadow has no idea.
The sun has just risen, sky grey-orange-red over the dark silhouette of the city. Cars are just beginning to pull out onto the street, storefront lights flickering on.
"You know we don't think that, right?" Sonic asks out of nowhere.
Shadow doesn't raise his head, instead leaving it in the crook of Sonic's neck. Maybe he'll join Tails in blissful unconsciousness. "Hmm?"
"We don't think you're supposed to be invincible. Or too sick to fight. Just like all of us, you've got, uh," Sonic waves the hand Tails isn't currently holding. Yawns, wide enough for Shadow to spot his fangs. "-strengths and limits, and things that help. Doesn't mean we think any differently of you."
Shadow hesitates, letting silence reign. Acknowledging his pain is a no-go, but Sonic's already done it, so… "I'm supposed to be better than this," he manages, strained. "I'm supposed to be the powerful one."
Sonic blows out a puff of air, like a laugh. "You are. You think anyone else can keep up with me? Nah. Just 'cause you have to recharge after doesn't mean you're not a threat."
Maybe he shouldn't take 'threat' as a form of flattery. Shadow feels heat rise to his muzzle anyway.
He doesn't fall asleep on the walk home, and counts it as a win.
(He does allow himself to fall asleep once they get home, and that feels like a win too.)