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“There was a girl,” Will said, staring at his lap.
“Yes?” Prompted Gilan.
“She sat next to me in the tavern last night.”
“Right?”
“And she said…” Will dropped his head into his hands and slumped forward. “She said, how are you?”
“Horrifying.” Said Gilan.
“No. Let me finish. She said ‘how are you’ and I said good thanks, how are you?”
Gilan raised an eyebrow. "And?"
“And she said, good thanks, how are you?”
Will visibly shuddered. Gilan was silent for about three whole seconds before he burst out in confused laughter.
“What?” He snorted, “What’s so bad about that?”
Will looked aghast. “She asked me twice!”
“So?”
“So what was I supposed to say?”
“You could just reply and get stuck in an infinite circle of ‘hi how are yous’ forever,” Gilan chuckled,
“No I could not do that!”
“What’d you say back anyway?”
“Nothing.”
“What you just sat there in total silence?”
“Yeah.”
Gilan burst out laughing again, uncontrollably, with tears streaming down his face. He clutched at his sides, trying to breathe.
“Don’t laugh, it was horrifying!” Will snipped.
But Gilan couldn’t stop. He couldn’t even breathe deep enough to laugh properly and so was instead just wheezing and slapping his thigh.
“She just got up and left.” Will went on, “I didn’t know what to do!”
“Oh God Will,” Gilan sobbed, “You’re gonna kill me. She’s probably traumatized!”
“Obviously I can never go back to the tavern now in case she’s there.”
They both looked up at the unmistakable sound of someone tripping on cobblestones.
It. Was. The. Girl.
She looked up at them, face flushed with embarrassment, before hiding her face with her hands and turning back down the path she’d just walked up. They watched her creep away in the longest silence known to man.
“You think she heard?” Will said once she’d gone.
“Probably.”
“I’ll have to leave the country.”