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first day as a new los angeles firefighter

Summary:

A crack fic I had absolutely no intention of writing, yet here we are. I hope you enjoy it!

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first day as a new los angeles firefighter and i discover that the walls of our lockers are made out of glass. i’m baffled by this design choice, but immediately become distracted as i pick up on the captain who fought against station 6 to get me here standing close by with what must be my new team. they look nice, especially the tall, built one. i decide to flash them my silver star winning abs by taking off my shirt in plain view of them all. this is sure to get me lots of new friends

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second day as a new los angeles firefighter and i save a life on my very first call with my new team. most of them seem impressed, except the tall, built one who in reaction appears like a puppy that’s been kicked. i find it very endearing, but become distracted by weird knowing looks that my captain keeps giving me

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third day as a new los angeles firefighter...

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

first day as a new los angeles firefighter and i discover that the walls of our lockers are made out of glass. i’m baffled by this design choice, but immediately become distracted as i pick up on the captain who fought against station 6 to get me here standing close by with what must be my new team. they look nice, especially the tall, built one. i decide to flash them my silver star winning abs by taking off my shirt in plain view of them all. this is sure to get me lots of new friends

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second day as a new los angeles firefighter and i save a life on my very first call with my new team. most of them seem impressed, except the tall, built one who in reaction appears like a puppy that’s been kicked. i find it very endearing, but become distracted by weird knowing looks that my captain keeps giving me

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third day as a new los angeles firefighter and i make note that my perception of time might have been morphed by how full of action every single hour of our shifts is, but i do my best. tall, built puppy is giving me the cold shoulder at the gym, even though i tried to court him heterosexually by helping him take a better selfie. fortunately, i inquired about his romantic status in advance and the short king of the station had all of the details. i spring all of this newly acquired knowledge on the tall, built puppy. unfortunately, he gives me even more attitude. i resort to adopting the same kind, but the fire alarm goes off

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fourth day as a new los angeles firefighter and i learn someone can, in fact, shoot themselves in the leg with a grenade without it exploding. i volunteer my silver star winning abs for the task, though they’ll stay sadly covered during it. tall, built puppy volunteers to join me and i am hoping for a good, old fashioned dick measuring contest using thinly veiled metaphors. if it happens, it’s a definite sign that i’m slowly winning him over

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fifth day as a new los angeles firefighter and we have reached success when it comes to the dick measuring metaphors. tall, built puppy looks particularly good in a bullet proof vest, but i let that fact only mildly distract me from the life or death situation at hand. as soon as we’re out of harm’s way, i proceed to compliment tall, built puppy and come to suspect he might have a praise kink. we’re best friends now who will have each other’s back any day and i am looking forward to this not awakening anything in me

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sixth day as a new los angeles firefighter and we’re hit by an earthquake. who would have thought a major call like this would follow the grenade one so soon? i would start to suspect this firehouse is cursed, but luckily i don’t believe in curses. i try to get a hold of my son only to get slammed with how cute tall, built puppy is when he gets excited over loving kids. i tell him i love this one, and i let him think i was only referring to my son

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seventh day as a new los angeles firefighter and miraculously everything turned out okay, we saved a bunch of people, rescued our colleague alive out of the collapsing build we were at, and got to my son, who was waiting for me safe and sound. tall, built puppy is here to drive us home and if those really are tears at the corners of his eyes at my son and i hugging i may have to reconsider all of my heterosexual life choices

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eighth day as a new los angeles firefighter and i’m waiting in my apartment for tall, built puppy. he was amazing today, helping me with my son when my abuela ended up in the hospital and i fear my eyes might be taking on a new shape that may or may not resemble a heart whenever i look at him. right now he wants to set me up with a woman and i am not ready for this, strictly from a still secretly married to my ex wife point of view. the door opens and in walks the professional help i needed to be able to raise my son well, and damn, i might have to marry tall, built puppy, in a strictly platonic manner, of course

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ninth day as a new los angeles firefighter and my ex wife who i am still married to shows up and we start a secret affair. i want her to be our son’s mom and in his life, but i trust my tall, built puppy, so when it’s time to take my son to see santa, the choice of partner is an obvious one. when tall, built puppy, my son and i are about to leave the place, i notice an elf lady talking to him. i don’t know what she told him, but he seems very happy in response, so whatever it is, i hope it comes true

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tenth day as a new los angeles firefighter and my silver star winning abs decided to jump into a burning building to save a child. my captain doesn’t scold me even though he should, but he later tells me tall, built puppy was about to jump into the building right after me. i wonder what this means, but i’m sure it’s not a pattern i’ll see repeated or will single-handedly work against more than any other partner in tall, built puppy’s life before me

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eleventh day as a new los angeles firefighter and my ex current wife tells me she might be pregnant with another kid. i man up and propose to her only for her to tell me she’s not pregnant and wants a divorce. i pinch myself to make sure i didn’t accidentally fall asleep and wake up in a soap opera. tall, built puppy is in no way a part of this, except he gives me tall, built puppy eyes when he finds out my ex current wife has been fatally hit in an accident and while he tries to stop me from seeing it

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twelfth day as a new los angeles firefighter and my parents have come for the funeral of my now fully ex, ex wife. they’re as supportive as always, going against every decision i’ve ever made. i try to explain to them that i have to stay here and find out what’s going to happen on my thirteenth day as a new los angeles firefighter, but they just point out i’ve been in the role for nearly a year. tall, built puppy’s girlfriend, which i forgot he even had because she’s not even half as significant to him as my son and i are, breaks up with him without breaking up with him. we both end up choosing this life together as a team, but i’m sure that’s all it means

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thirteenth day as a new los angeles firefighter and somehow a tsunami hits our city. i remain firm in my stance on curses. i know i’m right because my son and my tall, built puppy are safely tucked away at our second home, his loft. i do my job, saving people and picking up stray firefighters from other stations, warmed in the cold waters by the picture of my son and tall, built puppy sharing a stack of pancakes

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fourteenth day as a new los angeles firefighter and i run into tall, built puppy where he’s not supposed to be, with the worst possible news ever, only to realize a second later that my son actually is okay and it’s my tall, built puppy who saved him. i kneel down as i hug my son, and when i draw back and look over to tall, built puppy, i distinctly don’t think about other things i’d like to do with him in this position. with and without all types of rings

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fifteenth day as a new los angeles firefighter and i bring my son over to tall, built puppy’s loft as if i haven’t been completely swept away by his fierce devotion and willingness to sacrifice himself for our son. tall, built puppy is having a crisis of self doubt, so i put my thumb against the pulse point in his neck and tell him that there is no one in this world i trust with my son more than him. my tall, built puppy doesn’t understand this to be the statement of love that it is, but that’s okay. i’m sure he’ll figure it out soon and i won’t do anything else unhinged about it, like making him our son’s legal guardian in my will without even telling him about it. if he doesn’t? that’s okay. we have many more days as los angeles firefighters together. sooner or later, we will get there

Notes:

You can also find this fic on my Tumblr, as well as more of my content. Hope you enjoyed! Kudos and any kindness are always incredibly appreciated! xoxox