Chapter Text
Agent Stone walked into the laboratory that morning with a mission. A mission that wasn't as important as the main thing he was there for, but a mission nonetheless.
He held a box of luxury chocolates in his left hand. He paid a good amount of his paycheck for just a 24 piece box of extremely high quality, artisan-crafted chocolates from a seller he had reserve five months ahead of time, but it would be worth it. After all, it was Valentine's day.
Doctor Robotnik would absolutely be working his ass off per every other day of the year, and while he suspected the Doctor would give less than a shit about disgustingly capitalistic holidays (right alongside Christmas and Black Friday, if mind served Stone correctly,) Stone wanted to show his gratitude to him. After all, a man of his caliber deserved the world's finest chocolates every day of the year-- it was only fair Stone tried to get him something for at least the most affectionate day.
He walked into the lab, his spotless shoes clacking against the tile hollowly as he faintly heard the clacking of Robotnik's keyboard some good distance across the workfloor. "Good morning, Doctor," Stone called out, his own voice bouncing off the metallic walls. He got nothing in response, per usual. "There's something you'll need to see."
As he got closer, he saw his wonderful, brilliant, and frankly, quite greasy Doctor typing away on something that looked more like a bunch of errant keyboard slams than code. "If it's from Senator Reynolds, tell him he can shove it up his clenched little asshole; I'm not giving him his fucking Evangelion death robot."
Stone refrained from snorting, having absolutely no context to whatever the fuck his Doctor was referring to, but remained stoic. "No, sir, on the contrary-- it is a gift."
Robotnik paused his typing to twist his chair around, eyeing him suspiciously. He then saw the box in his hand, and his jaw clenched, sharp lines and salt-and-pepper stubble. "What the hell do you mean by that, Stone?"
Stone took a breath in. For his Doctor's appreciation. "Today is Valentine's day, sir. This is for you."
He tried to hand the box over, but Robotnik would not take it. He just continued to stare at him. Stone felt his throat swell only slightly, like a plastic ball from a shitty Italian restaurant's toy dispenser got stuck in his throat. Robotnik's eyes were absolutely scathing. "So," Robotnik said, extremely deadpan, shrugging, "you're deciding to give me a gift. On Valentine's day. Bribery, huh? Manipulation? Do you take me for a god damn idiot, Stone?"
Stone's chest tightened. "This has absolutely no bearing on any facet of my job, sir. You could even punch me in the chest, if you wanted. This is simply for--"
"Your own satisfaction," Robotnik interrupted with a deep frown, eyes narrowing harshly. "Your own wants and desires. I don't want anyone's pitiful affection, and certainly not from an Agent who can't even rub the two little fucking peanuts of his braincells together to realize that I don't eat shit like that."
Stone blinked. ".. You don't eat chocolate, Doctor?"
Robotnik sighed, suffering as he whipped his seat back around and continued typing. He very clearly was not in the mood to be disturbed. "I don't like sugary shit, Stone. How often do you see me touching the cookies at our accursed fucking government dinners? It's disgusting and oversaturated in every fucking consumable item in the United States as is, and while I'm sure you spent a pretty penny on whatever Fannie Mae bullshit you bought, I don't want it."
While Stone was disappointed, the fact still remained-- Robotnik didn't necessarily decline him: just his chocolates. Stone nodded, holding the box back to his side as he turned around. "Understood, sir," Stone replied, voice still as blank and placating as ever. He walked away, formulating another plan.
Cupid's arrow was a determined sucker, and if it meant he got fired or burned to smithereens, at least it'd be by his beloved Doctor.
Around a few quiet hours later, a bouquet of flowers somehow appeared on Robotnik's desk as if out of thin air.
Robotnik's face darkened, frown deepening on his face as he groaned loudly. "Agent Stone!" he shouted into the air, head leaned back as he called out loudly to the workfloor.
Stone appeared by him in seconds. "Yes, Doctor?"
"The fuck are these?" Robotnik motioned to the beautiful and well-kept roses at his desk, sat in a rather simplistic but perfectly polished glass vase.
Stone blinked softly at him, the epitome of cluelessness. "Roses, Doctor. For you."
Robotnik slapped his palm onto his forehead, an audible smack emanating. "I fucking know they're roses, dipshit, and I could very well assume they're for me. I'm asking why the fuck you got me roses."
".. Well, Valentine's D-"
"You say that fucking word one more god damn time and I will forcibly tear out your kidneys through your asshole."
Stone shrugged, eyebrows raising in confusion-- as if somehow, Robotnik was in the wrong. "As stated, sir, I wanted to get something you would enjoy. I felt like roses would be a brilliant option for someone like--"
Glass shattered against the floor.
Robotnik knocked over the vase harshly, the roses flinging out against the floor and water dripping against the metal tile. He then stood up from his desk and walked off.
"You can clean that up. Roses are not what I like, either, you buffoon, " Robotnik said, deadpan.
Stone stood there, heart aching.
.. Maybe he was going at this all wrong.
It was his last idea.
If flowers and candy weren't the Doctor's fancy, then maybe he'd need something a bit more personal. Something a bit less of an object and more of an action with meaning.
It was around noon, but Stone couldn't remember exactly. Robotnik had called him for his afternoon latte, which Stone gave the same as always. There was a soft design of flowers this afternoon, which Robotnik didn't take a second look at before drinking.
It was quiet between them, Stone watching as Robotnik looked at a blueprint.
Stone decided.
In a slow caress of a moment that seemed to slip by like silk, Stone had softly pulled the Doctor's gloved knuckles to his lips, placing one reverent kiss at the angle of his knuckles.
Robotnik pulled his hand away as if burned raw.
Stone kept his fluid movement, not concerned about the urgency in his Doctor's movements.
Robotnik was staring at him as if he had told him to shove it up his ass. "Agent Stone," he hissed, entirely debauched and ready to call his badniks, "What in the mother of fuck did-"
"Valentine's Day, Doctor," Stone replied innocently.
Silence throughout the room threatened to strangle the both of them.
Robotnik felt fury and fire rise in his eyes, the attitude of his seemingly indignant Agent making him want to walk right up and punch him in the throat. "You," Robotnik growled, standing up and making his chair spin helplessly behind him, "fucking touched my command gloves. Touched them with your fucking disgusting, bacteria laden lips-- as if you had any right to do so." In a flash, his feet spun out to drop the Agent to the floor, a hard slam as knees hit the metal. "And you have the fucking audacity, Agent, to try harassing me on this day of all days-- your sentimental fucking horseshit--" Robotnik gritted with even more vitriol, slamming a boot hard on Stone's chest and the breath was kicked out of his Agent,
But Stone was looking at him, eyes soft, even in his discomfort he looked the spitting image of nonoffense.
And Robotnik was fucking fuming, seething like a train engine about to combust.
Stone looked at him, him with his lips that kissed his knuckles like he was a knight, like Robotnik was the king he longed to protect. "I wanted to give you an equivalency to my feelings, Doctor. Since you said you couldn't enjoy chocolate or roses."
Robotnik was red in the face and only feeling more angry with him, but somehow found in himself a feeling of shock, a feeling of pain. Agent Stone, a grown man, giving another grown man chocolates and kisses on the day of Saint fucking Valentine's death. There were feelings he didn't want to consider, outcomes he didn't want to predict, with these actions attached to them.
Stone just continued to look at him in silence, Robotnik's combat boot still hard against his ribs and Stone's eyelashes drifting across the brown of his irises.
Robotnik pulled away like he had once again been burnt, a hard exhale and a shudder as he turned away from him and stormed off. His tailcoat fluttered behind him as he rapidly pressed buttons on his control gloves, hearing the telltale sign of badniks quickly floating as a handful of them picked Stone up without delay. He didn't hear a struggle as Stone was forcefully ejected from the lab, and Robotnik hid deeper into the workfloor, face grim and heart aching harshly.