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There was something about being on the highest point of the ferris wheel that made Emu feel closer to her grandfather. If she got to the top and climbed out of the cart (she knew it was dangerous!) and reached to the sky, maybe she would be closer to where he was, even if it was by a few centimeters. She would close her eyes and reach, reach to the sky-
But that wasn’t possible, was it?
Emu made it a habit to ride the ferris wheel at least once a week around sunset. Even though she was warming up to the idea of sunsets, something about them still made her feel… heavy. As if something was weighing on her shoulders and refused to get off. That’s why she did it.
Something Emu had learned with her troupe mates was that it was okay to feel. She needed to let herself feel.
So she sat in the small ferris wheel cart, her knees pressed to her chest, watching the sky turn all shades of yellow, orange, pink and red. The swaying of the cart and the warmth of the last remnants of the sun for the day would try to lull her to sleep,
Then, the moon would rise, and Emu would watch as the sky turned dark, as the stars began to poke out here and there, unable to see all of them because of the light pollution. Everything would turn dark, and Emu sat there in silence, staring at the sky.
Was grandpa close? Would he be able to see her from where he was? Was he always looking over her?
Help me with the park, she begged sometimes, staring at the sky desperately. What do I do? How can I help? How would we be able to stay together?
It was a time where Emu felt small - smaller than usual, smaller than anyone would ever expect. The park, the business, the future - everything was so big compared to her. How could she fight everything by herself?
Everything felt so big .
But she would breathe. And she would be okay.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
And she would leave the ferris wheel, feeling calmer than she did before, hoping that the following week would be as amazing as the last.
Sometimes it was! Sometimes Emu would be all smiles the entire week, clinging onto Nene, teasing Tsukasa as he pretended to be annoyed, talking excitedly with Rui. Emu would run down the halls of her school, talking with all her friends and getting into all kinds of shenanigans - she would go to her clubs and try at least once to make Asahina smile. It would never work, but Emu would always vow to come back even harder than before, determined to make her smile! The week would end with some time with her siblings, no matter how short, and Emu would go to sleep happy.
Sometimes they weren’t. Sometimes Emu would feel the bad kinds of butterflies in her stomach, feeling worried about the future, about her friends. Her smiles were less wide and more forced, but she would always act as if everything was okay! The last time things weren’t okay, she worried everyone, and that was the last thing Emu wanted. She would spend the week in the company of her troupe members, rehearsing and sitting shoulder to shoulder with them, but she would go home to an empty, silent house. She would eat alone at an empty table, fall asleep knowing that no one else was home -
And then like clockwork, everytime, Emu found herself on the ferris wheel, pressed against the window, looking at the sky.
The sun would set, and the day would be over.
Today was no different. It was late, quiet, and lonely, which means that Emu wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and went to Phoenix Wonderland, curling up on the seat of the pod and curling her knees to her chest. It was quiet, but not the lonely kind of quiet - Emu had her grandpa with her, after all. How could she be alone when he was there?
But then, after a couple of rounds, the ferris wheel stopped. Emu’s pod was at the bottom, but she made no motion to move. Just a couple of more minutes, she told herself. Then she would get up and go home.
The door opened, and Emu’s head shot up.
Rui, Tsukasa and Nene.
…what were they doing here?
They walked into the pod and the door closed. The ferris wheel began moving slowly, and they ended up sitting all around her - Tsukasa on her right, Nene on her left, and Rui sitting in front of her on the floor. Emu blinked slowly, for once, at a loss for words.
“It’s late, y’know.” Nene said quietly. “Keisuke and Shosuke didn’t know where you were.”
Instead of replying, Emu rested her head on Nene’s shoulder, wrapping her blanket tighter around her shoulders. Tsukasa reached out and began rubbing circles into her back while Rui reached up and took her hands in his.
“We figured you were here.” Rui continued. “Gave all of us quite a fright.”
“It’s okay, though.” Tsukasa was quick to cut in. Their pod was almost at the top. “We’re just happy you’re okay.”
The pod reached the top.
Emu let out a shuddering sigh and buried her face into Nene’s shoulder when Nene hugged her tightly. None of them said anything. The silence was comfortable. Emu had never felt so safe and warm in her life.
“It’s okay.” Nene murmured. “It’s okay.”
Emu peeked out to watch the moon in the sky shine, and took a deep breath.
Breathe, breathe, breathe.