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< sry ill probably be a bit late. my brothers being an ass like always… see u soon tho. >
Shoka stared at the message, then at the clock. Still a little after four PM—and they weren’t even supposed to meet ‘til five. So that loser had nothing to worry about. There was plenty of time to get here, to the backstreets of Shibuya where they’d agreed to meet.
They could’ve gone to Hachiko. That would’ve suited Shoka well enough. Hell, she could’ve hung out at Shiki’s apartment ‘til time. With the relatives that might’ve claimed her swallowed up by Shinjuku’s inversion, she was staying in Shiki’s spare room anyway. Though she wasn’t the only one staying there now. As of about a week ago, Neku had finally moved in, leaving Shoka as the third wheel in the house.
Not that she exactly minded it. She adored their hard-earned romance, and seeing Shiki, one of the ladies that’d inspired her so much, happy was more than enough to make Shoka happy, too.
But today… Today, it had been a little much. Seeing them so open and comfortable with each other, while she…
Her eyes wandered down to the text again.
What were she and Rindo now?
“You dummy… Of course I like you!”
Did she have to spit it out like that? Either way, they’d both said it, leading to this moment now—where she’d come almost two hours too early for their first ever date.
Shoka heaved a sour sigh, leaning back against the mural at Udagawa. Out of sight of the typical Shibuya crowd, plus a relaxing place to start the day. Maybe that’s why she’d chosen it. Or it could’ve been ‘cause it wasn’t a typical meeting spot. If she was really gonna have her first date, she wouldn't deal with any annoying cliches. She could barely deal with how dumb she felt now, standing alone like this.
…Ugh, maybe she was the loser here.
“Shoka?”
Shoka sprang to attention, only to see the so-called Legendary Player strutting his stuff just short of the stairs, despite having left him back at Shiki’s place. No Shiki in sight, though.
Neku walked over, far too calm and collected as he asked, “What’re you doing here?”
“Oh, you know… Just hanging out,” Shoka answered with a shrug. “What about you? Thought you and Shiki had the day off.”
“Yeah, we did. We were gonna go out shopping for a bit, but Shiki got called to her store for some emergency. I’m waiting ‘til that’s wrapped up.”
“That sucks. Couldn’t even find Worms-for-Brains to keep you company?”
“Hopefully she won’t be tied up that long,” Neku replied. “Besides, he’s helping with some fundraiser today… He and Rhyme both.”
“A fundraiser?”
“It’s some event one of his school buddies asked him to help with. Shiki and I offered to join, but they already had enough people.”
“Huh… He actually sounds a smidge grown-up doing something reputable like that.”
“What about you? Any of the others coming to meet you here?”
Shoka twitched. “Sis said a new chapter of EleStra came out today, so pretty sure she and Fret are tied up with that.”
“And Rindo?”
It was like Neku could see straight into her soul. Given the legendary Player’s unique disposition, maybe he was—even here in the RG. He no doubt picked up on every dumb little movement, every time Shoka bit her lip or messed with her sleeves. And the way he asked, so chill, yet focused… He knew it was a subject close to her heart.
“He’ll be here soon,” Shoka mumbled. “We’re going on, um… ”
“Gonna need to speak up there.”
“A date! We’re going on a date. Happy?”
“A date, huh? Congrats.” Neku gave her a kind smile. “Guessing this is your first?”
“Y-yeah…”
“You nervous?”
Was it that obvious?
Shoka lowered her head, retreating into the shadow of her hood.
“Maybe a bit… I’ve never been on a date before.”
“You and Rindo still hang out a lot. Don’t you walk around on FanGO sometimes?”
“Well yeah, but…”
Neku waited patiently, his thumbs slung at ease in his pockets as he kept silent.
Unable to hold it back any longer, Shoka groaned, her lips loosening more than she probably would’ve liked.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay? I mean, I want this. I’ve liked Rindo ever since the Game, and knowing he likes me too is… amazing, obviously. We both have our lives back, so we can go out like normal teens…”
“But… you’re not normal teens.”
Shoka’s head shot up, her gaze meeting Neku’s.
“That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
Damn. He really did read her like an open book. Only he and Nagi could be that perceptive.
“Y-yeah,” Shoka managed after a moment. “I was a Reaper… and I wasn’t exactly a bundle of joy when they first joined the Game.”
“When were you ever a bundle of joy?” Neku teased.
“Wow, hilarious. Point is, I was a brat to them. I wanted nothing to do with these two new bozos that were interrupting my FanGO time.”
‘Brat.’ That was putting it nicely. Who was she even trying to shield—herself? That thought just made her feel worse.
“Even after figuring out he was Rindragon, I still…” Shoka’s mouth twisted, struggling to form the words. “I taunted them—a lot. Like, I wanted to help them, but I couldn’t. Not with Shiba hovering over my shoulder all the time. If it wasn’t for Rindo’s powers, I could’ve gotten them erased…”
Right, his powers… That was another thing that only brought guilt to her heart. With a pathetic chuckle, Shoka hid her eyes.
“I’m the reason Shiba knew about his powers in the first place. It was ‘cause I took advantage of Rindo’s kindness and spied on them…”
Neku blinked, no doubt surprised to hear that. But who wouldn’t be? That whole thing went down way before he’d swept in to save their sorry asses.
“Really? But you were all so close already by the time I joined.”
“Yeah, well they took me in again for some reason—even after what I did… They just… accepted it,” Shoka mumbled. “I still don’t get it…”
Neku tilted his head. “Why not? You must’ve defected from the Shinjuku Reapers in the end, right? You were fighting pretty hard to stop them…”
“I know, but it doesn't change the fact that I was nothing but a thorn in their side for a good while before that,” Shoka said. “And even before that, well… I was a pretty typical Reaper. Taunted a lot of Players—watched them get erased… Players just like them.”
Shoka reached up, clutching the large ears of her hood to tug it forward.
“It’s not that I really cared when I joined. Anything was better than going back to my life before. I had a lot of power—power that I didn’t have back home, tossed around from one relative to the next… and to be honest, it felt good. I had control over the Players. They were already dead, so what did it matter?” She gave a small shrug, as if trying to play all her worries off. “It was such a nice change after my sorry excuse of a life.”
Yeah, back then, it didn’t matter. She was a Reaper, and damn good at her job. Good at it, until…
“But… after awhile, it became unfair. There was no way the Players could win—not against a rigged Game. And I didn’t care to help them. At least, not until Rindo and the others came along. Honestly, I might’ve helped destroy Shibuya and just… moved on, with the rest of the Shinjuku Reapers if not for him…”
She lifted her gaze to the sky, avoiding Neku’s gaze entirely.
“Guess I kinda just… wonder if I really deserve to live happily ever after, y’know? In the end, I’m still a Reaper…”
How could she just live a so-called ‘normal’ life after all of that? She wasn’t normal—and she definitely didn’t have a normal relationship with life and death. Not compared to all of her new classmates.
“I… may not have been a Reaper, but…”
Neku’s fingers tapped the rail next to him, his gaze to the side as he chose his words carefully.
“…someone once told me that I was inhuman—no better than a Reaper.”
If the ears on Shoka’s hood could’ve twitched in confusion, they would’ve. She raised her eyebrow, taking in the easygoing mentor she’d come to know.
“You? Who would have the guts to spit that in your face?”
Nothing could’ve prepared her for the answer.
“Shiki.”
“...Shiki? Shiki Misaki told you that?” Shoka repeated. “Are you sure your memory's not on the fritz? 'Cause you might’ve hit your head somewhere in Shinjuku.”
“I’m sure. Can’t say I blame her for it, either. I was a terrible person back then, and she had to deal with the worst of it.”
Neku stared at the graffiti along the wall as he talked, his eyes growing serious as he recounted his rough past.
“But she still apologized for it the next day—like somehow she was the one who stepped out of line.”
“What happened exactly?” Shoka asked. “'''Cause like, that's a pretty big leap for Shiki…”
“Everything. Back then, I didn’t want friends. I thought I didn’t need anyone but myself. But then, I found myself teamed up with Shiki. No matter how hard she tried to talk to me, I closed my ears—shut her out of my world. I even tried to…”
Neku trailed off, one hand squeezing his opposite wrist tight enough to leave a mark. After a moment, he eased up, running the same hand through his hair. “Anyway, point is, I treated her like crap. And then… Rhyme got erased.”
“Oh yeah, I heard you guys talk about that before. She was turned into a Noise, right?”
“Yep. I’d only known her a few days, really, and loner that I was, I didn’t want to count any of them as 'friends.'” Neku sighed, leaning against the wall next to her to stare up at the same sky. “Rhyme’s erasure changed that.”
“Was it that big of a game changer?”
Neku nodded. “I didn’t want to admit I was sad—not ‘til a whole day later, after working more with Shiki… I wasn’t good at expressing how it made me feel right when it happened. I didn’t want to admit any of it. But I learned that holding it back, repressing myself… That only made the sadness turn into anger. Anger that I couldn’t be better and do something—that no one could. And I lashed out pretty harshly…” He shook his head, even if just to keep himself moving through the story. “No wonder Shiki said I was no better than a Reaper. But I think… somewhere along the line, I also realized something important about those Reapers we hated back then.”
Shoka stared back at him, lost on what he was getting at, or even what to say to all that. It was so hard to believe that Neku of all people could be like—
“Reapers are still people, too, aren’t they?”
…Geez. She didn’t need him to tell her that. She knew it better than anyone, deep down. And yet, she’d also kinda lost it somewhere. After all, Reapers were above Players, the ones judging them, competing with them—holding the Players’ afterlife in their hands…
“Those emotions—pain, fear, anger, sadness… They don’t stop just ‘cause you become a Reaper. You had to deal with things that normal people in the RG can’t even pretend to comprehend on a daily basis for the sake of upholding that system, but… I don’t think you ever lost your humanity. Not really.”
Neku threw her a grin.
“If you had, you wouldn’t have come to Rindo’s side. You would’ve stuck with erasing Shibuya ‘til the end.”
Hard as Shoka tried, she couldn’t find the words to respond. Yeah, she did defect, but he was still seeing her in too good a light. She’d still helped for so long, knowing Shibuya would be destroyed…
“Besides, I’d say Shiba’s the one at fault. He and that guy Rindo told us about. They were the ones pulling the strings, making everyone dance to their tune.”
Finally, something she had the energy to respond to.
“Still followed along with it, dummy.”
Dammit, she just sassed Neku—she hadn’t meant to do that.
“I saw a lot of that in Shinjuku, y’know,” Neku continued. “Stray thoughts from Reapers who followed Shiba to Shinjuku’s destruction—only to get caught up in it. And every single one of them, they still insisted that they did the right thing because it was what their boss wanted.”
Shoka nervously played with her sleeves. “Even though they were erased?”
“Yep… From the RG, too—so many people were concerned with what made their bosses or family or friends happy… and scared of what’d happen if they failed to do whatever was on their mind before Shinjuku got destroyed.”
“No joke?”
Neku nodded, his hands slung in his pockets. “It’s human nature. Peer pressure—especially from those you consider as close as family—isn’t just about what to wear or whether to go to some party. It’s about that drive to make them happy and fear of disappointing them… and I think Shiba had you all bound to that.”
Peer pressure, huh? Shoka lowered her head. She’d always prided herself on not giving into something so silly as that, yet…
“I guess… they were kinda like family to me,” she slowly admitted. “Shiba used to watch over us, you know. Back in Shinjuku. He guided us, taught us, supported us… In a way, I guess he was kinda like family. And Ayano was always there for me, like a big sis…” She let out a heavy sigh. “They were more of a family for me than my real family. I just… didn’t want to disappoint them…”
It was different. They actually cared about her—not like the aunts and uncles she’d stayed with, always expecting the best grades from her while putting their own kids on a pedestal she could never hope to achieve. Her Reaper family celebrated her for who she was and what she did…
“I didn’t want to lose them…”
“I know,” Neku said like it was the easiest thing in the world. And he meant it, too—for the first time in months, someone understood her in a way she hadn’t even realized she needed.
Neku patted her shoulder, giving her a moment to process before he said, “I think that’s why I knew we’d be able to talk to Shiba, too. I could tell through you that the bond between you all was more than met the eye—and he needed to be reminded of that bond somehow.”
“Yeah… Trust Hishima and Tsugumi to be the one to snap him out of it,” Shoka said through a pitiful laugh. “They were the first ones to break away from the cycle for a reason… and they didn’t just waltz right back in expecting forgiveness, either.”
“Don’t beat yourself up too much over that. Yeah, you spied for them, but breaking through something that’s already broken isn’t easy. The fact that you still managed despite everything goes to show that you’re strong enough to stand on your own, even if it means disappointing those you care about. And I think that strength’s pretty special.”
Special?
“I dunno about that one.”
“Yeah? Well I do,” Neku replied without a moment’s hesitation. “And Rindo does, too.”
That made Shoka flinch.
Rindo…
“I’m sure he already forgives you for all that. Hell, I think he forgave you before I even met you.”
“What makes you so sure? You didn’t see what I did…”
“Because… The air he has when he’s around you—it reminds me of Shiki. That unwavering trust despite everything…” Neku lowered his head with a small chuckle. “Shiki forgave me, and even fell in love with me despite everything I did. And Rindo’s done the same for you, hasn’t he?”
Shoka stalled, not sure how to respond once again. Yeah, maybe? Did he lo…like her like that?
Ugh, this was so embarrassing to think about…
A laugh met Shoka’s ears, and she looked up to see Neku’s wide grin. Damn, she must’ve made a pretty dumb face to earn that look.
“Hey, I was wondering—who’s idea was this date, exactly? Like did you ask him, or did he ask you?”
Who? That was…
“So… You wanna go out with me? Y’know, on a date…”
A smile formed on Shoka’s red lips. “That loser did… He was totally awkward about it, too.”
“Sounds like Rindo alright. Bet he stumbled over his words and everything.”
“Yep, you’ve got him pegged.” Shoka pushed herself off the wall, letting the warm Shibuya sun settle on her skin.
Maybe… Neku was right. Maybe Rindo did already forgive her… and even like her, despite it all.
“Thanks, Neku,” she said, turning back to him with eyes glistening with newfound hope. “You’re pretty good at this whole mentor thing, despite your rocky beginnings.”
“Without those rocky beginnings, I feel like I’d be a lot more lost on all this crap,” Neku replied. “So, while I hate how I was back then… I learned a lot because of it. And I feel like I can understand people better now.”
“Huh… So you're using your crappy past to make yourself a better person now? That’s practically cheating,” Shoka joked.
“Heh, maybe, but it’s all I’ve got.”
Shoka’s gaze drifted down to the stairs, and familiar brunette hair came into view.
“Not quite all…” She waved her arm and called out, “Hey, Shiki. Found your boyfriend—up here.”
Shiki looked up, adjusting her glasses. She gently beamed as she waved back, then hopped up the stairs.
“I thought Neku might come here, but wasn’t expecting to see you, Shoka.”
“You know me. I’m just full of surprises.”
Neku gave her shoulder one last pat as he passed her to see his girlfriend. “We were just keeping each other company while waiting. Everything good at your store?”
“Yup, sorry about that… I got it all handled!”
“Good to hear it,” Neku smiled at Shiki before glancing back at Shoka. “What about you? When’s Rindo gonna get here?”
Shoka checked her phone. Looked like it was just about five now—the time they’d agreed on. “Should be here any minute now.”
Well, maybe. He did say he might be late… but Shoka didn’t need them to stick around for that.
“Alright. We’ll get out of your hair, then,” Neku said. “Tell us how it goes when you get home later, okay?”
“You really wanna hear all the juicy details? Didn’t think you were that much of a gossip.”
“Guess I’ve been hanging out with Shiki too much. She’s rubbed off on me.”
Shiki giggled, slinging her arm through Neku’s. “You love it, though.”
They were too cute. The soft, loving look they gave each other made Shoka’s fangirl heart flutter. Would she be like that with Rindo one day?
Probably not quite. They’d have to figure out their own balance of teasing and romance—a way that suited just them. But seeing Neku and Shiki handle it so flawlessly, even with just a few months’ practice, gave her hope.
“Anyway, we’ll see you later, Shoka. Have fun on your date,” Neku said with a wave before turning and guiding Shiki along. The designer also bid her farewell and good luck to her friend, and Shoka could hear her asking Neku about the whole ‘date’ comment.
Well, it was all out in the open now—she and Rindo were going on a date. Just as soon as he…
“Shoka!”
Shoka’s head whipped around to see Rindo hurrying over from Tipsy Tose, completely out of breath.
“S-sorry,” he wheezed as he stopped near her, bent over his knees as he breathed heavily with sweat pouring down the side of his face. “F-for running late on you…”
…Dummy.
A smile rested on Shoka’s face.
“You idiot. You made it on time.”
Rindo looked up at her, surprised. “I…I did?”
“I know, I’m shocked, too. Didn’t even need to send that warning text after all.” Though uh, yeah, that. “Hope your brother didn’t give you too hard of a time…”
Rindo wiped his chin with a laugh. “It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.”
“Oh yeah? You’ve gotten pretty good at telling him off recently.”
“I've dealt with worse. But anyway, enough about him. This is our first date, so…”
With a nod, Shoka leaned forward. “Yep. I’m ready if you are.”
“I’m ready,” Rindo said, holding his hand out for her. She stared at his palm, her nervous fingers reaching out to touch it.
It was real… This was real. And oh so warm. Much more warm than anything she felt when she was dead.
Her hand coiled around his, tight and confident. They were together now—that much was sure.
“B-better take me somewhere good, then,” she mumbled in a shoddy attempt to tease him.
Eh, maybe she wasn’t as smooth as Neku and Shiki yet. But she’d get there one day.
Rindo just smiled as he pulled her along. “It will be… Promise.”
But she didn’t have to be. She just had to be good enough for Rindo.
And maybe—just maybe—she’d already hit that bar a while back.