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Ghost shoved his way past the recruits who were crowding in the mess hall. He made his way quickly to the 141’s usual table.
Soap smiles widely as he moves to give Ghost the seat closest to the wall before going back to his heated conversation with Gaz.
Ghost slides in beside him and pulls his mask up slightly, just enough to eat. Ghost is still unsure about doing this but his teammates have been making it much easier.
Soap notices he is eating and nudges Gaz, who just nods as they both move closer.
It was the group's routine. Soap, Gaz, and Price would keep watch and use their bodies to block Ghost's face from onlookers. Price would give everyone looking their way his patented ‘Captain stare’. Knowing his teammates have his back, Ghost choses to turn them out in favor of listening into the recently added recruits conversation.
They were talking just with in range of Ghost. Rookie move.
“I am telling ya! Look at them! You’re telling me Ghost and Soap aren't lovebirds? You’re insane man!”
Ghost just breathed out of his nose quickly, his small attempt at laughing.
Him? And soap?
Yeah right.
Ghost had fully accepted he was aromantic and asexual years ago.
It took years for him to be comfortable saying it out loud to himself.
But of course these poor recruits didn't know. No one did.
It was information that connected to the person under the mask. So it was hidden along with all other emotions under the familiar pressure of his balaclava. He imagines Soap's hand around his waist pulling him into a hug. Their hands intertwined as they sat on a rooftop somewhere.
Ghost quickly shook those thoughts out of his brain.
Stupid recruits. The small touches him and the sergeant shared were nothing more than tactical. When you work with someone in the military trust has to be formed. Lives were on the line.
So what if he wanted to pull Soap close when someone flirted with him.
Or to hold the man close to him to fight off his nightmares.
Or to throw more than death stares at people who dared to touch his sergeant.
Again purely tactical.
Purely..
Oh fuck.
Ghost froze, his fork half in the air as he processed this new information.
Soap looked over, noticing how the man had frozen, “Ye good L.T?”
Good? No Ghost was not fucking good.
His whole emotionless identity was crumbling because of one stupid scot.. One stupidly pretty scot.
Ghost quickly shook his head as he stood up. He needed out.
Soap looked up concerned as his mask was pulled back down.
Ghost was going to break if he had to be close to Soap any longer.
But he needed someone to talk to.
As much as he hated it he was growing to like the mandatory therapy Price had assigned. Though he had scared the last therapist away just last week. With a sigh he settled for the next best thing, after Soap of course.
Gaz let out a surprised yell as he was yanked out of his chair.
Soap started to laugh his stupid perfect laugh as he watched Ghost pull Gaz up, “Fuck man, What did you do?”
Gaz sputtered, “NOTHING!”
Ghost sighed, dragging Gaz out of the mess hall. Everyone quickly got out of the twos way as they walked through the halls. Much to Gaz’s panicked horror.
They quickly reached Ghosts office, the larger shoving Gaz in.
The door slammed and was locked with a click.
Ghost turned to see an absolutely terrified Gaz leaning against his desk. He made a mental note to buy the man a drink for the psychological damage later.
Ghost took a breath, steadying himself for this awkward conversation, “Gaz.”
“Ghost..”
“I. I need your help.” Ghost spat, hating that word on his tongue.
Gaz’s eyes widened then went into confusion, “Oh? Ok. Well what's up?”. He approached Ghost slowly. They were not as close as Ghost and Soap but they were teammates. They trusted each other with their lives.
“For years I thought I was aromantic and– Fuck. I don't think I am. Gaz– who the fuck am I?” Ghost spat out the last question desperately.
The smaller man's eyes softened, “That’s completely ok Simon. It is completely valid to change labels. I am aroace myself and I know it takes time to find what fits, huh?”
Ghost nodded. This still did not help the ache in his chest from the ripped part of his identity. Aroace was the puzzle piece he thought finally put him together. But now he was missing a piece again and he didn't know what to do.
“Ok. How about this,” Gaz waited for Simon to meet his eyes before continuing, “Lets go over what we know for now. Hm?”
Ghost nodded, “I am Simon. Or Ghost. I go by he–.. I go by He/They” The last sentence came out muttered and shaky but Gaz just nodded with a giant smile. Ghost could see no judgement in his eyes.
“Thank you for telling me.”
Ghost took a deep breath before searching his brain for what else he knew. “I think- Think. I think I like Johnny.”
Gaz reaches up to pat his shoulder, “Well done! Soap will be thrilled to hear that!”
Ghost sighed, exhausted as he bent down to lean on the smaller man.
Gaz rubbed Ghost's arm lightly, not complaining about the weight as Ghost leaned on him.
“Fuck Gaz.. Being aro was the only thing I knew about myself.”
Ghost clutched at Gaz’s T-shirt.
Gaz just hummed, pulling Ghost fully into a hug. “I know the feeling mate. But this doesn't make you any less of a person alright? You still have all your parts, they’re just growing with you. If they didn't you would be hugging a very loud-mouthed teenager right now.”
Ghost hugged Gaz tighter, letting a few tears slip.
“The team will support you no matter who you chose to be. And if they don’t well.. Price will have a few more scars.” Gaz chuckled.
Ghost stood up fully, wiping the few tears that fell away.
Gaz gave his arms one last squeeze before letting go.
“I want to come out..”
Gaz smiled “I'll be right there with you when you want to.”
Ghost gave the man one last hug before retiring to his room to do some research.
He wanted all the information he could before he had to tell anyone else.
—---
Gaz, Ghost, and Price are in Ghost's office.
Price is sitting on a chair bouncing his leg impatiently as Gaz and Ghost lean against the desk.
“Ghost if this is important just tell me. You aren't in danger are you, son?” Price asked, staring up at the much taller man.
Ghost just shook his head as the door slammed open.
Soap closed it quickly before basically collapsing on his usual spot on the couch. The one Ghost had moved in here because the scot had spent too much time knocking things off his desk while in here.
“‘Bout time!’ Gaz said.
“Awa’ n’ bile yer head!” The scot turned to look at Ghost, “What’s up L.t? Gonna show us yer bonnie mug again?”
Ghost sighed looking at Gaz, who gave a wide reassuring smile.
“No Soap. I am nonbinary. More specifically a nonbinary man. I go by He/They and I am Gay.” Ghost struggled to push the rehearsed words out but with Gaz’s hand on his shoulder and his eyes shut he managed.
The room was silent for a minute.
Gaz being the first to break it. “Anyone got anything to say?” There was a very clear unconcealed threat in his voice. One that none of the 141 had heard from the man before.
There was shuffling as Ghost slowly opened his eyes.
Price stood smiling in front of him. The captain placed his hand on Simon's neck and pulled him into a hug, “Good man. Proud of you son.”
Ghost couldn't help but smile through his mask.
Price released Simon with a quick pat on the cheek, “Anyone give you trouble and I’ll rip ‘em a new one.”
Ghost nodded as he slowly went to look at the still silent Soap.
Soap was sitting still layed on the couch. His mouth was hung open.
Gaz shuffled closer to Ghost as the two awaited the man's reaction.
“Holy hell.. Another win for the men bloody jesus.”
Price and Gaz developed into laughter at the blushing scot while Ghost just let out a relieved smile.
Price and Gaz quickly left, but not before reminding Simon how much damage they would do to any homophobes who dare get close.
As the door shut Soap turned to Ghost with a smirk, “Sooo L.T. Men huh?”
Ghost sat down at his desk, “Don’t make it weird Johnny.” He started down at the half done paperwork. It was a semi-effective distraction from the conversation he had to have very soon.
“I wasn't! I wasn’t!” Johnny laughs raising his hands in mock surrender, “Just explains why ye were dragging Gaz around recently.”
Ghost just snorts, “Gaz? Yeah sure.”
“Awe come on L.T! You cannae come out and not tell yer own Sargent who ye got yer eey on!”
Ghost hummed in response, pretending not to see the hint of hurt in Johnny's eyes. This was not going to be easy was it?
“So what if I got a man I like. Jealous?” Ghost tried to fall back into their usual banter but Soaps pause before responding was hard to not notice.
“.. Maybe. Ye do got a bonnie mug. Probably fighting of te men left and right. Just wanna make sure me L.T is safe.” Johnny spoke, his attempts at acting casual quickly failing.
Ghost rolled his eyes at the man. Was he really this oblivious? He leaned his head on his hand fully looking at the man, “Lets see, He likes my jokes and has a terribly bad haircut.”
Soaps eyes switch from jealousy to confusion quickly, “Bad hair.. Huh. Do I know ‘em?”
Ghost let his head slip from his arm, hitting the desk in front of him, “ You are a dense fucking man Johnny.”
Soaps' only response was a noise of confusion. He had long ago accepted that his feelings for his commanding officer were one-sided. So he stuck to small touches and joke flirts. But Simon liking men? That was new. He hoped he didn't make him uncomfortable with his flirting. As Ghost watched he wracked his brain for anyone Ghost was close to. There were no recruits he went easy on, or hell even talked to more than necessary. Was it someone off base? But Ghost hadn’t been on leave in months and this was a fairly new development.
He heard Ghost's footsteps as he got up and approached the thinking scot.
Johnny waved him off, “I’m thinking L.T hold on.”
With a sigh the larger man grabbed his chin forcing Johnny to look at him. Simon raised his eyebrow as if waiting for Johnny to connect the dots.
What fucking dots?!
The only people Ghost was close to was the team.
It wasn’t Gaz. Simon confirmed that.
Price was too old and more like a father figure.
There was no one else accept..
Oh
Simon laughed in front of him, “There we go.”
Holy fucking shit.
Holy fucking shit.
The ghost.
The fucking ghost
Liked him.
He was going to pass out.
“You with me, idiot?” Simon chuckled watching the man process what was happening. Johnny just watched as the scars on his face moved and creased as Simon smiled. When had he taken off the mask?
“Fuck’s sake. I’ve broken you,” Simon laughs letting him go. Simon laughs. Actual smile and loud laugh.
Johnny had never heard that before. He jumps up crashing into the larger man, nearly taking them both down if Simon had not been ready to catch them.
Johnny shoves his head into the larger man's neck as Simon spoke, “You look like a fish out of water, Johnny”
He did not care.
His L.T liked him back.
His L.T was holding him and letting him get his bearings again.
His Simon was running a hand threw his mohawk.
“I cannae believe it. This is a bet right? Gaz set this up?” Johnny asked with his head still tucked under Simon's chin.
“Nope. Price does owe him money now though.”
“Holy fucking shit. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!” Johnny yelled as he let go. He started flapping his hands around happily.
Ghost just watched with a fond smile.
Johnny jumped on the spot before hitting Simon's arm repeatedly, trying to get rid of the burst of pure happiness and energy he got. “HOLY FUCKING SHITE SIMON!”
Johnny stopped moving for a second as he watched Simon's face before quickly starting to jump and flap his arms again. He was moving even faster than before if that was possible.
Simon laughs reaching into his pocket, “You’re gonna stim yourself to death Johnny,” He handed the stimming man a tangle.
Johnny took it happily before placing himself with his back to Simon's chest. He played and swung around the tangle before
muttering a quick, “I think I’m already dead.”
Simon laughed, placing his chin on his partner's mohawked head.
Johnny turned around to face him, “Simon fucking reily.”
“Yeah. That’s my name. You ok there, pretty boy?” Simon teased testing the nickname. It was probably too early to use them but they didn’t care. The small squeak that came from Johnny was enough.
Johnny pulled them both onto the couch, positioning them so his back was to the arm rest and Simon was happily laying on his chest.
Oh yeah. He was dead for sure.
This was the afterlife and he didn't give a shit.
And if Price snapped a few photos later after finding the two asleep.. Well that was between him and Gaz.