Work Text:
When Jimmy sailed into his kingdom, the first thing he saw was an eye.
There may have been a small amount of screeching and general panic involved, and then some more when he noticed the tentacles curled around his watchtower and the other buildings and the statue that he had just fixed, goddamnit.
Xornoth showed up again and sent him up into the air, very high, and that was all sorts of great, and then he was blinded and died on Fwhip’s roof.
The decision to show Fwhip exactly what had happened in his kingdom had been a hasty one, fueled by panic and a need to show someone , to tell someone , even if it was a sort-of-enemy that was now enemies with his enemy so did that make Fwhip no longer a sort-of-enemy?
Jimmy didn’t know what to think about that, but when he returned back to the swamp kingdom, the eye was gone, the only sign of it being there the uprooted dirt and scattered stone from where the tentacles used to sit, and he swore to Fwhip that it had actually been there, that he hadn’t gone insane, and Fwhip agreed, although that might have been just to appease his rambling, and Jimmy saw the look of doubt on the other man’s face, and he wondered if he was insane.
They ended up visiting Sausage, who was now a certified madman bent on returning Xornoth to full power, but he did agree that he had seen an eye in Jimmy’s kingdom, although Jimmy wasn’t sure that if he could prove he wasn’t insane when an insane person was agreeing with him, but that train of thought was promptly derailed by Sausage thanking him for leading an attack against the dragon, and Jimmy swallowed, and said, softly, “I didn’t know. I didn’t — I had no idea,” and he remembered another kind of winter, one stained red with blood and a man who was something of a servant, I had no choice, and Jimmy wondered, in a moment of randomness, if he could call himself Xornoth’s hand now, but that position had already been claimed by Joey, and the idea of Joey in Martyn’s place almost made Jimmy laugh, until he was brought back to where he was now, and Sausage cornered him to the ledge off the side of his Dark Tower, and Jimmy knew what was coming before it did, and Sausage thanked him, once more, and pushed him off the tower, and Jimmy fell.
What did I do to deserve this, he raged as he fell. I did nothing wrong.
Knowingly, at least.
Pix sent him a gift. So did Sausage.
The second was less well-received then the first, due to the fact that the gifter was, in fact, the man who killed him while thanking him, but there was spruce wood in it, which Jimmy desperately needed, and blocks of emeralds and iron, and Jimmy wondered how rich the man was, to just give it to all away to an enemy.
Also, he was pretty sure Sausage knew that the wood was going to be put into building a taller wall than his, so the fact that he had given some to him was odd. The fact that the man had given him a gift at all was odd, after his murder, but Jimmy wondered if that truly was an acceptable thank you in the madman’s eyes — not that he should be thankful at all, because Jimmy hadn’t helped him on purpose.
He ignored the corruption. Scott had once told him (in a flower field so, so long ago) that he was fun to mess around with. Easy to annoy. Maybe the demon thought the same thing, and was thus targeting his kingdom the most. If he just ignored it, didn’t let it get a rise out of him, it would eventually get bored and give up.
Or so he thought.
No, instead, the corruption increased tenfold, and his freaking bed was corrupted, and so he had to make a new one, and shortly after, it got corrupted as well, so he resigned himself to sleeping in a glimmering red bed that, thankfully, didn’t seem to do anything, although it was possible he was sleepwalking and doing very malevolent things without his own knowledge, but nothing had happened yet, so he thought it must be fine.
Along with the corruption, Xornoth appeared more often, and every time he arrived, killed Jimmy in more and more intricate, complicated ways, to the point where whenever Jimmy caught sight of the long, black horns, he resigned himself to another death. On the bright side, he thought as he collected his items from one of the many chests he had scattered around his kingdom so he could put his things in whenever Xornoth came along, Xornoth slaughtering him over and over again meant that the demon knew that Jimmy hadn’t known when he’d accidentally set him free, and didn’t see him as an ally or thank him or anything else like that. Jimmy could deal with Xornoth killing him. He was an evil demon. It was what he did.
Sausage, however, didn’t seem to get the memo yet, cheerfully calling Jimmy his “best friend” and, when Jimmy increased the height of the wall, complementing his building skills, although he did make sure to make his own a slab taller, which comforted Jimmy, because he didn’t know what he would do if Sausage stopped trying to one-up him. He might die of heart attack, which would be another new, interesting death to add to the list.
One day, Sausage cheerfully asks him if he wants someone killed. Drily, Jimmy says that if he could kill all the salmon in the swamp kingdom, that would be great.
A week later, when Jimmy completely forgot about the interaction and Sausage had now been missing for days, he wakes up to Sausage’s grinning face over him and a brandished axe dripping with blood, and gives a very high-pitched scream, and leaps out of his best, desperately grabbing for his sword, pointing it directly at… a handful of dead fish.
He pauses.
Sausage keeps grinning, one hand holding up the axe soaked with the blood of dead salmon and the other full of said dead salmon. Behind him are crates with a distinctly fishy smell coming from it, and Jimmy’s entire house is now smelling like a fish market, not that he minds, given his own slightly scaly appearance, but he prefers to have his buildings not smell anything marine-like, due to his human allies’ slight dislike over the very strong scent.
“Sausage,” Jimmy says carefully. “What… is this?”
“Well, you asked me to kill all the salmon in your kingdom! And I’ve done it! I haven’t slept in 32 hours, but look! I have no idea what this means for the local environment, but they’re all gone! You’re welcome!”
Jimmy pauses again. Stares for a moment.
“A—you—what even—.” He stops. Sighs. “I—Sausage. I was joking.”
Sausage’s excited smile seems to slowly slip off of his face. He looks around the room full of crates of dead salmon. “Oh,” he says, voice disappointed, and Jimmy instantly feels guilty. “Oops. Sorry. I didn’t mean—guess I’ll figure out somewhere to put this—”
“Wait, no, Sausage,” Jimmy sighs. “That’s not what I—thank you. I didn’t actually think you’d do it, but thanks anyways.”
“No, it’s fine,” Sausage says slowly. “You don’t need to pretend with me! It’s fine, I’m sure there’s someone who wants all these fish—”
Jimmy immediately feels like a terrible person. “I’m not pretending!” he says honestly, because in truth, he was honored, he just wasn’t expecting the man to show up in his house with a lot of dead fish. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me—thank you.” Sausage still looked doubtful, so Jimmy tried, “I actually have something special I do with salmon, do you want to see?”
Sausage’s face instantly lit up. “Seriously, man?”
“Yeah,” Jimmy said, and he had no idea why he was showing the Secret Salmon Sacrificial Room to Sausage, his sort-of-enemy, when he had shown not even his allies it yet. He was pretty sure the man would enjoy it though, he was the right kind of insane for it. “But it’s a secret, so you can’t tell anyone.”
“I can do that! I’m great at keeping secrets, the best, the Master Secret Keeper, that’s me—”
Jimmy let Sausage ramble on his many non-existence references to his non-existent secret-keeping skills as he pulled the lever and they entered the Sacrificial Room.
“This,” he said to Sausage, who looked at the steadily burning fire in the center of the room. “Is the Secret Salmon Sacrificial Room.” And sure, he may have said that with a bit of pride in his voice, but he never had actually gotten to show it off properly to many people, and was excited at the prospect of someone new seeing it.
“This place is wicked!” Sausage exclaimed. “Do we burn the salmon here?”
“Yup.”
“Oh, wow!” Sausage said. “It’s probably going to take forever to burn all the fish!”
“Er—how many did you kill?”
“I have no idea! I lost count somewhere around 300!”
“Oh—great. Do you want to help?”
“Of course!”
“Thanks. And thanks for, you know, killing all the salmon in the swamp for me.”
“Anything for my best friend!” Sausage grinned, and Jimmy blinked, surprised at the bit of warmth he felt at the statement.
And it wasn’t really that bad, throwing the salmon into the fire to be burnt to ashes with Sausage as the other man told him highly exaggerated stories of his time as a part-time bartender, assassin, and therapist.
It was fine, sort of. A bit of a routine formed in Jimmy’s life. Xornoth kills him, sometimes Sausage gets Jimmy’s stuff for him if he wasn’t in his kingdom when he died, they talk a bit, and Jimmy goes on to improve his kingdom until Xornoth comes by to kill him again.
And then, one day, Scott comes along. And murders him.
Seeing Scott fly down upon him from the sky, white wings glinting with gold and blue accents, was like seeing an angel descend upon him, and Jimmy didn’t notice the sword in his hand until it stabbed him through the chest and he died.
Respawning brought with it feelings of betrayal, hurt, and disbelief. He and Scott hadn’t even interacted much since Empires had started (and oh, how it hurt to see him) and now Scott had randomly decided to kill him? Jimmy wondered if Xornoth hadn’t been able to come up with any new ways to kill him and instead decided to use Scott and his devastatingly attractive face to stab him. Jimmy then wondered that, if that was so, if Xornoth had simply shapeshifted or had actually possessed Scott, and that thought was so uncomfortable he pushed it away.
As he arrived at the scene of the crime, Sausage was there, waiting for him, all his items kept safely in a chest. Jimmy still hadn’t figured out how the man always knew where he had died, but the support was appreciated.
“Hey, Jimmy!” Sausage said cheerfully. “You didn’t put your items in a chest in preparation, so Xornoth must have really surprised you. How’d he kill you this time? Lava? Fall damage? Or did he decide to go traditional and just chop your head off?”
Jimmy paused. “Sausage…” he said, slowly, confused. “Xornoth didn’t kill me. Scott did.” Unless his theory had been right and Xornoth had shapeshifted… he checked the chat.
SolidarityGaming was slain by Smajor1995.
There it was, in cold text, there for everyone to see. It was an odd message to look at, and Jimmy had the impulse to check his reflection in the pond a few yards away from him, to look at the color of his eyes, but he resisted the urge.
Sausage blinked. “Wait, what? Seriously?” he sounded worried, but Jimmy couldn’t discern why. He certainly had no problems with Jimmy dying, so why would he care? Maybe because Xornoth wasn’t the one to do it?
“Yeah… how did you know I’d died if you hadn’t seen the chat message?”
“Oh, that’s easy, I have a spell on you that tells me when and where you die,” Sausage said casually, and Jimmy blinked. Before he could object to that uncomfortable breach in his privacy, Sausage asked, in a way he must’ve thought was casual, “So, why’d he kill you? Did you do something to make him mad?”
“No, we haven’t even talked… he just swooped down from the sky and stabbed me. He didn’t say anything, he just… did it.” Jimmy was hurt, and trying not to show it. And confused, but that was his default state. Why had Scott done that? Why did he— his thoughts were interrupted by Sausage looking seriously panicked.
“Oh, this is bad. This is not good. Xornoth is going to be mad …”
“Mad? Mad about what?” Jimmy questioned, but as always whenever he quizzed Sausage about the demon, the other man ignored him, simply mumbling about angry and punishment and I told him it was a stupid idea , and, without another glance at Jimmy, Sausage jumped into the sky and flew away on his elytra, leaving Jimmy staring quizzically behind him.
Jimmy decided to visit Pixandria to check in on his ally and clear his thoughts. There, he decided, there would be no Xornoth trying to murder him, no Scott trying to murder him, and no Sausage, because while Jimmy was slowly warming up to the other man, he could be overwhelming at time.
The desert kingdom was gorgeous, with buildings of sandstone and jungle wood complemented by splashes of bright colors in between, and standing in the middle of the desert city, villagers bustling around him, brought Jimmy a sense of calm. It had been so long since he’d been surrounded by people , and the sense of security and belonging it brought to just stand near them relieved much of the stress that had been building up since his music disk had first been stolen.
“Jimmy?” a voice asked from behind him, and Jimmy turned around to see Pix looking at him with confusion. “What are you doing here? Not that it isn’t great to see you, of course, I just wasn’t expecting you. And why aren’t you wearing your… fish suit?”
Jimmy frowned. “How did you see through my disguise? Also,” he added as an afterthought, affronted. “It’s not a fish suit. It’s my royal outfit .”
Pix snorted. “Jimmy, you could wear anything and anyone would tell its you. You’re not subtle. I mean, you’re not like Scott, with his overly fancy clothes or anything, but you’re easy to spot… a fish out of water, one might say.”
Jimmy snorted. “Very funny, Pixl,” he said drily.
“I try. So, did you need something, or?”
“No, I just wanted to well, tell you about something that’s been going on. You’re immortal, so I figured you’d have some really wise advice to give me or something.”
“Well, I don’t know about wise ,” Pix admitted. “But I can try to give you some advice. Come on, let’s go to my castle, we can talk there.”
“So Xornoth… has been killing you. Well, he is kind of the evil demon, that’s not really something worrying, I don’t think.”
“Yeah, I’ve just gotten used to it at this point, honestly. I’ve even got little chests around my kingdom for whenever he comes around to kill me. That’s not the problem, Sausage sometimes comes around and helps me get my stuff if I forgot to—” He stopped, realizing his slip.
“MythicalSausage?” Pix’s eyebrows rose. “Isn’t he a madman helping the demon rise to power? The one who stole your music disc? And killed you multiple times? Your enemy? That Sausage?”
“Well,” Jimmy started haltingly. “He’s not that bad, really, when you get to know him. We don’t really—talk, that much, about Xornoth, so it hasn’t really become a problem…” he trailed off as he saw the look in Pix’s eyes. Not doubt or distrust. Pity. Pix didn’t need to say anything—his expression conveyed it all. It wouldn’t last. When the smoke cleared and they would have to choose a side, Sausage would undoubtedly help the demon, whatever it took, would kill Jimmy without blinking. He tried to push the thought out of his mind, and continued with his tale, “The problem actually happened just today, actually. Scott…killed me.”
Pix paused. “Wait. Really?”
“... Yeah. Did you even check the chat? How did you know I’d died?”
“I have a spell cast on the server,” Pix explained. “It tells me when someone dies.”
Jimmy paused, a strong feeling of deja vu coming over him. “Does the spell also tell you where someone dies?”
“No,” Pix said, shaking his head. “That’s a darker branch of magic than I prefer to delve in to, although I’ve done it once, years and years ago. It’s both unnecessary, because I’m only keeping count, nothing else, and the spell requires blood of the person I want to track, and I’m pretty sure the empire rulers aren’t planning on giving their blood away very soon—a lot of terrible things can be done with blood.” He paused, eyes glazing over as he gazed into the distance. Jimmy had seen this before—it was a look Pix got whenever he recalled a distant memory from his many eons of being alive. The immortal shook himself out of his stupor. “Right, so, Scott killed you. I’m sorry about that, Jimmy.”
Jimmy gave the man a half-smile that he knew didn’t reach his eyes. Pix had some sort of vague idea of what had happened in the 3rd Life server, and that was enough for Pix to glance at Jimmy worriedly whenever Scott happened to be in their vicinity. “It’s fine. I just—don’t get why he did it. He just flew from the sky and… stabbed me.”
Pix froze , and a look of dawning horror flashed on his face before it was quickly replaced by a blank expression. But Jimmy caught it, and realized, suddenly, that everyone around him knew something that he didn’t, and it was, apparently, pretty important.
“He didn’t say anything?” Pix asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. “Nothing? Did you do anything to make him angry recently?”
“Pixl, you know we haven’t even said a proper word to each other since this server started.”
“Right. So he just. Swooped down. And killed you.”
“ Yes, ” Jimmy said, exasperated. “Honestly, it’s kind of like how Xornoth kills me, actually, which is weird. Do you think he possessed Scott, or something, just to kill me?”
“Well, he wouldn’t, of course,” Pix said, sighing. “Because then you might think it was actually Scott who killed you, and that would mess up his whole plan if he did that, so, no, it was Scott. That—well. Huh. So we learned something, now.”
“Learned… what?”
“Xornoth is an elf. Or at least, used to be, or grew up in Rivendale.”
“Wait, what? Seriously? How do you know? What does him killing me have to do with elves?”
Pix stared at him. “You… don’t know.”
“Well, of course not, I’m asking you, aren’t I?”
“You don’t know,” Pix repeated, slowly, as if saying it again would somehow change the fact. He then started to laugh, and Jimmy jumped, staring at the immortal as he laughed and laughed and laughed, and when he stopped laughing, looked at Jimmy’s face and immediately busted out in cackles again. The laughing sounded hysterical and almost like sobbing, and Jimmy was. Confused. “Yes, ha, ha, really funny, would be funnier if you could tell me why it’s so hilarious, though.”
Pix stopped just as suddenly as he’d started, and stared at Jimmy for a moment. “I don’t think,” he said slowly, “That you want me to tell you.”
“But I do ,” Jimmy said, frustrated.
“ Now you do,” Pix corrected. “After I tell you, you won’t.”
“ I’ll be the judge of that. Come on, seriously, I really want to know. Need to know. This is information to do with someone I’m currently neutral with, and a demon terrorizing the world, and, politically, knowing about both my enemies and other kingdoms’ motives is important, right?”
“Jimmy, never try to speak politically again. I didn’t believe a word of what you just said. But who am I to stop you from bringing yourself misery? Jimmy, I know that Xornoth is from Rivendale because he’s been killing you the way he has.”
“... Murderously?”
“No, he comes in suddenly, doesn’t say a word, and every time kills you in a different, more complex way, correct?”
“Yeah…”
“And he keeps killing you because you keep ignoring it.”
“Ignoring what ?”
“What he’s trying to say.”
“ What’s he trying to say ? Stop being so vague and please get to the point, Pixl!”
“He’s trying to propose to you, Jimmy.”
…
….
…..
“Ha, ha, very funny, Pixl. Nice joke. Now give me the real reason.”
“I’m being serious.”
“Come off it, that can’t be true!”
“I told you you wouldn’t like it.”
“That’s ridiculous! He’s killing me because he’s an evil demon bent on terrorizing everyone, including me! He’s killed other people. But he’s not proposing to Pearl, is he?”
“If you remember, he hasn’t killed any member of the server more than once… other than you.”
“That’s just because he hates me more than anyone!”
“And why? You haven’t done anything to him, not like some of the other kingdoms have. Why isn’t he trying to kill Lizzy whenever she comes to land to meet the other empires?”
“But he did do that.”
“Once. Just once .”
“Alright, Sherlock Holmes, if what you’re saying is true, do you have any other proof then him killing me? Is Scott trying to—.” Jimmy stopped short, eyes widening as he realized that Scott was from Rivendale, and it was Rivendale tradition that Pix was referring to. “Nope. No. No way.”
“See, if Scott hadn’t tried to kill you,” Pix said, amused, aware of the conclusion Jimmy had just arrived at. “I would have shrugged it off as coincidence. But Scott did come to kill you, too, didn’t he? Swooped out of the sky. No explanation. Just death. He might’ve gotten wind of Xornoth’s plan and decided to step in before a demon carried you off into the sunset.”
“That’s—no—” Jimmy sputtered, pushing away the hope welling up in his chest, ignoring the voice in his head reminding him that just a few days before, Xornoth had shown up and killed him somewhere around Scott’s kingdom, and when Jimmy returned to where he’d died, one of Scott’s servants had been waiting with his items. “That’s not what’s happening! Xornoth is killing me because he hates me, and Scott killed me because I must’ve done something to make him mad, and they are not trying to propose to me!” And he stood up and stomped out of Pixl’s castle, the effect momentarily ruined by him tripping over the thick rug before he scrambled out.
“If you say so, Jimmy,” Pixl’s voice said tiredly from behind him. “But if you keep ignoring it, Scott’s going to come back and kill you again.”
Jimmy found himself thinking that Pix was right. Not about the so-called proposals. But that he’d rather not have known the true reason of his murders.
Scott did, in fact, come back to kill him.
Multiple times.
Every time he died, Sausage was there, waiting for him, and every time it was because of Scott, the other man got a worried look on his face.
It’s not true , Jimmy thought to himself. It’s not true. He’s worried for some other reason. This is fine. It’s not true.
Jimmy was hardly getting anything done , between getting killed by Xornoth and Scott and worrying about getting killed by Xornoth and Scott, and he was getting no sleep, and looked, Lizzie pointed out when he came to visit her kingdom, absolutely awful.
“Have you been getting enough sleep?” his sister asked. “You look more raccoon then cod.”
“I’m fine—” Jimmy’s protest was ruined by him yawning halfway through his sentence, but he continued, “It’s just… lot’s of things going on, and I haven’t been able to really do anything…”
“Things like Xornoth and Scott killing you over and over again, you mean?” Lizzy asked, amused. She’d been checking the chat, of course. “I don’t know if you know this,” she said, slowly, “But in Rivendale—”
“I know!” Jimmy interrupted, not wanting to hear it again, because it coming from someone else would basically solidify it, and he was content ignoring it at the moment. “I know… all the stuff.”
Lizzy raised an eyebrow. “And have you… accepted!”
“No!” Jimmy spluttered. “Of course not! Xornoth’s an evil demon , Lizzy!”
“Well, I mean, he hasn’t bothered me , so who knows how evil he really is,” Lizzy said, shrugging. “And besides, Scott’s also killing you, isn’t he? He’s rather attractive, I mean, all elves are, I used to date a rather lovely one years ago, she was quite—”
“Lizzy!” Jimmy said, scandalized.
“Oh, don’t Lizzy me. I’ve seen you eyeing him up, you know, when you think he’s not looking. He’s always looking.”
“Well, now that you’ve made that proper creepy, can we move on?”
“Right, we were talking about how you’re planning on taking a vacation.”
“Wait, what?” Jimmy asked, feeling as if he’d missed something. “I never said anything about a vacation.”
Lizzy blinked at him, faux innocently. “Well, I thought it was implied, wasn’t it? Like, you were going to lead up to it. ‘I’ve got so much going on, I’m being murdered because two people want to marry me, I haven’t been getting any rest.’ I was going to suggest going to a lovely beach near a coral reef I saw recently. You could build a summer house there!”
“We’re in an eternal winter. Besides, I can’t just leave my kingdom! I have things to do! Subjects to take care of!”
“Things you’ve been doing the past few days?” Lizzy asked, with a raised eyebrow.
Jimmy paused. Admittedly, he hadn’t been doing much of anything for a while, too tired and stressed to actually focus. A beach sounded nice. Very nice, actually. He wasn’t much of a builder, but he could make some sort of temporary shack or something that was comfortable enough to stay in—just for a day or two.
“I—” Jimmy searched his brain for a reason not to go, and came up short. “Alright,” he relented. “I’ll go on a vacation, and leave the minister in charge. Just for a day or two, though,” he added.
“Of course,” Lizzy said with a knowing smile. “Just a day or two.”
Jimmy ended up staying at the beach for more than a day or two. It was just so warm there, the eternal winter not reaching as far as the remote island. There was no murder, no duties, nothing. Maybe he should do this more often. He’d already been at the beach for over a week.
Xornoth, he thought amusedly, must be bored without anyone to murder brutally.
Xornoth, it turned out, was more worried than bored, which was made clear when he busted into Scott’s kingdom to look for Jimmy.
He stormed in Scott’s house, snarling, and found the elf pacing in his living room, head shooting up, eyes wide when he saw Xornoth standing there, and then narrowing.
Xornoth stalked forward, and Scott pulled out his axe.
“Where is he?” Xornoth demanded, and Scott scowled.
“How am I supposed to know where your lackeys are?” Scott demanded. “ I should be asking what you’ve done with Jimmy!”
Xornoth stopped short. “What I did with Jimmy?” he asked, so bewildered that his voice lost it’s booming echo. “What did you do with Jimmy?”
Scott stared. “You mean… you haven’t done anything to him?”
“No,” Xornoth snapped. “I came here because I thought you’d done something to him.”
“And why do you care,” Scott challenged. “About what happens to Jimmy? He’s your enemy, isn’t he?”
Xornoth’s red eyes narrowed. “Don’t test me, Champion,” he said dangerously. “We both know exactly what Jimmy is to me. And we both know that you keep trying to intervene in matters that do not concern you.”
“‘Not concern me?’ You’re trying to corrupt one of my fellow kingdom’s rulers, it does concern me!”
Xornoth snorted. “Please. You and Jimmy haven’t even had a proper conversation yet. And when Joey and Sausage started assisting me in my plans, you had no problems with that . Why does it matter if it’s Jimmy, then?”
Scott clenched his teeth. “Joey and Sausage both knew what they were getting themselves into,” he said. “Jimmy is… naive. He’ll trust anyone, even a monster.”
“Yes, well, you would know, wouldn’t you?” Xornoth said, lips curled into a snarl.
“And what,” Scott said icily, “is that supposed to mean?”
“You think I have no knowledge of what happens in other servers?” Xornoth asked, amused. “Remember, I come from the nether, the in-between place where every world collides, and I have eyes everywhere. I watched you, brother, through your lives, I watched you go against the man in one world and then love him in the next, marry him where nothing was permanent, and then get separated once more. I watched you, brother, and I know where your weakness lies, even as you attempt to ignore it… until I stepped in and you were worried that someone who was no longer yours would fall into the hands of another.”
“You don’t want him because you love him,” Scott growled, finally, desperately ignoring everything Xornoth had said, and how close he was to the truth. “You want him to get back at me .”
“In the beginning, I followed him because he was a useful pawn,” Xornoth admitted. “Your one weakness. I thought him foolish, and I wondered why you ever deigned to care for a mortal, especially one such as this. And then… well. You know what happened. I proposed to him. And yet, he keeps ignoring me.”
Scott smirked.
“And you,” Xornoth added, annoyed. “Don’t act superior to me, he’s been ignoring you as well. And he still would be, had he not been kidnapped.”
Scott’s amusement vanished. “Is that what you think happened?” he asked.
“It’s the only thing I can think of,” Xornoth said, frowning. “Perhaps a rival kingdom, wanting resources such as slime? Or someone who thinks they can use him against you—”
“Like you did,” Scott interrupted, and Xornoth scowled. “I just had a thought,” Scott said. “What if he was kidnapped because someone was jealous ?”
“Of what?” Xornoth asked, puzzled. “He is hardworking and his kingdom is quickly growing, yes, but Mezelea has the ridiculous palace and Rivendale,” here his voice grew distasteful, “is wealthy. Why Jimmy?”
Scott rolled his eyes. “Not because of his land or his wealth, but because of your… attachment to him.”
“What are you talking about?”
“For the love of Aor, Xornoth, who on your side is intent on getting you in their bed?”
“Who?”
Scott’s exasperation grew. “Joey! The ruler of the Lost Empire! Seriously, Xornoth, are you daft?”
“Joey?” Xornoth asked in disbelief. “He wants to—does he? That is not the nature of our relationship. And besides—I have no interest in sleeping with anyone.”
“Does he know that?”
“Well, I do not go around discussing my sexuality with everyone I know, obviously—”
“Not that, you fool, that you aren’t interested in him!”
“Well. No. I knew he was overly friendly with me, but I assumed all humans are like that.”
Scott sighed, exasperated. “Well, Jimmy doesn’t act like that, does he?” he asked, because he knew that was the only other human Xornoth actually knew well enough. Sausage, being insane, wasn’t a very good example.
“Of course not, but that’s because he’s Jimmy, isn’t it? He’s not like other humans.”
“Yes, but—” Scott stopped. They were getting nowhere, talking in circles and not focusing on the actual problem. He sighed. “Xornoth. What do you think your insane ally with an attraction to you will do when he realizes you have proposed to someone else multiple times?”
Xornoth paused as realization, once again, dawned upon him.
“Fuck.”