Work Text:
Scotts hair had started to get a bit long. Looney is just now 6, and scott’s birthday here. Not much thought had been put into that. No. his thoughts were about taxes. They were about keeping his thrift story afloat. Owen’s. Owen’s thrift shop. The gift owen gave him. he couldnt think of his birthday really. He had to keep shit going.
Fog filled his brain as he sat in the back, staring at the paperwork in front of him. He couldn't understand it really, the words become just gibberish. The music in his ears becomes nothing. Its quite. Its dark. He knows music is playing, he knows there's stuff in front of him. But he also knows. Its dark. Its quite. Nothing but him exists at this point.
And somewhere in the void of thoughts, he hears sweet talk play.
Maybe the words mush together a bit. But he knows that song. It's Jimmy's ringtone. Hm, quite nice to hear the song that means Jimmy's calling. Makes him think of his husband. His amazing, fantastic, handsome husband.
His husband, in their beautiful house, with their daughter, the best daughter in the world. Sometimes, Scott kinda wonders how he got so lucky. Look up at his celling, and just, thank fate. Thank lady luck, that he got this. He thinks Owen would have loved to meet Looney. And back when Owen died, him and jimmy had just been dating. Nothing more then that. If Owen had lived for 4 more months, they would have been engaged. And just 8 months. If owen had lived 8 months more. They would have been married. And Owen would have been Scott's best man.
But sweet talk continued to play. And Scott hummed along. Then it stopped in the middle. Then it restarted. Why was it doing that?
The world around Scott started to come back. On the paperwork in front of him he saw some tear stains. He just smiled something simple and sad. And when sweet talk stopped and restarted again. He could just barely make out the fact jimmy was calling him.
He wouldn't admit how much energy it took to grab his phone and answer. But his arms were soar, and his eyes filled with even more tears.
"Scott?! Oh my goodness!? Scott, where are you!? You were supposed to be home 2 hours ago!! Scott, send me your location."
The worry in Jimmy's voice made Scott's belly full with something. He wouldn't call them butterflies. Closer to wasps. With stingers that make him want to throw up, but he loved them.
"Work..m at work 'immy, sorry, I didnt realize how late it was getting…"
Looking at the clock on his phone, he reeled back a little. In white letters, 7:38pm stared at him. He turned at looked out the door to the front, it was dark. Fuck off winter time. He normally closed the front at 4pm, then worked on all the lame stuff for an hour.
"Scott, I'm coming to get you, Looney is with me. It's you're birthday, you shouldn't have been at work that long…just, be ready to go, I'll be there in 5"
"Mmk.."
Scott listened to the sound of his phone dying, he didn't exactly cared, he just leaned but in his chair till his back hurt, and stared at the ceiling.
He needed to get up.
He needed to get ready.
Jimmy was going to be here soon.
But he just let himself drift in his seat, and let his eyes close, and let his body go lax.
He didn't hate his birthday, nothing bad really even happened on his birthday. It was just…well…he didn't really know. Just this day felt sad. Like something would happen, like it was just inevitable really.
And one minute, he was floating again, and the next, he was in Jimmy's car. They would go get Scott's tomorrow.
"Jimmy…this is real right?"
Jimmy was gripping the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. Jimmy's brows were knitted. He was thinking about something. He was upset. Scott just hopes it wasn't at him.
"Yeah, dont worry Scott, this is real.." his words were softer then Scott thought they would be.
"God…I..I was so worried Scott…are you ok? Like, is it still Scott I'm talking to? Like the Scott that can sing the periodic table song..?"
Scott had to muffle his laugh. No matter how empty his head felt, the first thing jimmy identified him as was singing a silly science song.
"I'm gay jimmy, not smart." And maybe under his breath he started to mumble the words. And maybe that got a huff from jimmy.
"Yep, you're still Scott."
Only when they got back home, did Scott notice Looney, asleep in the backseat. Something light fluttered in his chest as he picked up his sleeping daughter. Been 2 years since she ended up in his arms. He can't help but think back to that night, and the way jimmy smiled, something so sweet and loving. Something lighter then the air they breathed.
Scott noticed even more, everyday, how he wouldn't change anything if he had the chance. Well, he would have kept Owen alive. But he thinks, maybe he's moving. Maybe he's learned how to live with the grief. The tattoo on the back of his neck agreed.
That night, Scott and jimmy made dinner, at 8, almost 9 at night, and it wasn't even anything amazing, it was mac'n'cheese, but Looney was happy to wake up to see her papa. And then, after dinner and Looney going back to bed, Scott and jimmy felt higher then the sky, laying in bed, holding each other, and kissing away wounds.
Scott didn't love his birthday. No. Not in a million years. No. But he thinks maybe this day is fine. Even if it's only this year.