Work Text:
Come, some of the work gets kinda hard
This ain't no place to be if you planned on bein' a star
Let me tell you it's always cool
And the boss don't mind sometimes if you act the fool
Car Wash by Rose Royce
“Hey boss,” Ted dropped into his usual chair opposite Rebecca with an unusual amount of nervous energy, even for him. “I hope I find you in an open minded kindofa mood this morning, because I have got a little proposal for you.”
They’d been getting steadily closer. Gently blurring the line between colleagues and friends and something more. Little private jokes, borderline suggestive comments, touches through several layers of clothing, lingering looks. Nothing scandalous, nothing that couldn’t be explained away as just a little light flirting.
She was enjoying it hugely.
“Really Coach Lasso? Well I like to think I’m always open minded where you’re involved. Propose away.”
“I’d like to wash some cars.”
On Rebecca’s mental list of Things Ted Might Be About To Say, that hadn’t even made the long version. Her face must have conveyed this fact, since he began to explain further almost immediately.
“Now hear me out on this. I was chatting to Higgins about our CSR strategy and your charity pledge, and how we can support the community. I know that you do an amazing one woman job of laying on the gala every year - “
It ought to have been embarrassing really, how the slightest of praise from him made her preen.
“ - not to mention you really throw your whole elf into gift giving at Christmas - “
Good grief. She even found the puns charming nowadays.
“ - so I was wondering if we could do a coupla other things throughout the year, not just you but the whole team, and I got thinking about stuff we did back home fundraising for new sports equipment for Henry’s school.”
He finally paused for breath. She was never quite sure how difficult it was for Ted to think back to when he’d had a more traditional family set up, but he didn’t seem melancholy. She tried to make her face look suitably encouraging. “Go on.”
“Well, I couldn’t really picture the guys baking pies or selling citrus fruit, and I’m really not sure the world is ready for Roy calling bingo, but I remembered folks used to love having their cars washed, and I thought - we’ve got a car park, we’ve got plenty of locals who love their vee-hicles, we’ve got twenty physically able young men, and I’m pretty sure you could spring for some sponges and soap, so…”
“Get your car washed by a Richmond player?”
“RIght first time, Fran Fine. Get your car washed, throw in a selfie with a couple of the players and a free air freshener, I reckon we’ll have queues all down the A316!”
She couldn’t fault his logic. “That’s actually an excellent idea.”
It was Ted’s turn to preen a little. “Yeah, you like it? You gonna give us the Rebecca Welton seal of approval?”
She nodded decisively. “One hundred percent. It will raise money on the day of course, but it’s also great publicity for the club and the foundation. We can share photos on the socials, make it really accessible.” She shouldn’t be surprised really, that Ted had come up with something fantastic without even being asked. Doing good while supporting something important to her was totally on brand for him. “I truly appreciate you taking the time to think of a way to support this. Knowing I can always count on you? It means a lot.”
Ted smiled back at her, brown eyes sparkling. “I’m always happy to help you out any way you need. You just gotta ask.”
Before she could work out if she was reading too much into that, if his voice had actually dropped lower or it was just horniness making her imagine things, he’d pushed himself out of the chair and headed for the door, throwing a “see ya later boss, I better go ask Will to order some sponges,” over his shoulder, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
🧽 💦
Will had ordered a fine assortment of sponges, training rosters had been adjusted, and the PR department had done their thing on the socials. The day dawned with a surprisingly un-British amount of warm sunshine and Rebecca decided to take it as a good omen.
As she ventured across the car park mid-morning, the first thing she noticed was the music, a selection of seventies disco pumping loudly towards her.
The second thing she noticed was Ted. In mesh basketball shorts that showed a not insignificant amount of muscular thigh and toned calf, and a long sleeved white tee shirt. A now damp long sleeved white tee shirt. A damp, long sleeved white tee shirt that was clinging to his shoulders and arms as he leaned over the bonnet of a car. Well.
The universe obviously hated her, because before she’d been able to fully appreciate this delightful image in peace, he was turning around, throwing her a wide smile swiftly followed by a concerned look.
“You okay there boss?” He reached up a hand to push his hair out of his eyes exposing a tantalising slice of tummy as he did so. “You’re looking a little dazed.”
She knew she should speak. Form words. Maybe close her mouth.
“Rebecca?”
Get it together, Welton. “No, no not dazed. Perfectly fine. Excellent really.” See, she could talk like a normal person. She added a bright smile for added normality. “Just came to show my support, see how it’s all going.”
“Alright, then let me give you the tour. You guys okay to finish this one off?”
“No problem gaffer, and I promise to let Isaac do the moving once it’s done.”
“I appreciate you Colin.” Ted tossed him his sponge, came to Rebecca’s side, and began leading her around. “So, Roy’s working the cash desk. The deal today is that there’s no fixed price, people should pay what they can afford. Roy’s giving a menacing look to anyone whose donation don’t match the the car they’re driving.”
With immaculate timing, Roy let out a low growl.
“And then my man Beard here is assigning air freshener fragrances.”
This stopped Rebecca in her tracks. “Assigning fragrances? We don’t just give everyone the same?”
“Oh no, it’s a very important choice, and that man has a real nose for what folks are gonna like.”
“Olfactory skills, baby!”
Ted leaned in to speak directly in her ear, his tone hushed. “It also makes sure neither of them have to get their hands wet. They may be fine examples of the masculine form but they both have surprisingly sensitive skin.”
Rebecca nodded, suppressing a giggle. “And you didn’t manage to find a managerial role for yourself?”
“No ma’am I did not. This here today is about leading from the front. I can’t ask these guys to do something I’m not willing to do myself,”
“I see. So my head coach, and my players, with a combined salary bill of over a million pounds a week, are spending the day - “
“Washing cars for charity, yeah.” He beamed. “Makes you proud doesn’t it?”
As they made their way down the line of cars, it seemed Jan Maas had similar thoughts.
“This is an inappropriate use of our training time. It is totally illogical for us to do this when we could simply donate the money.”
“Bro that’s not the point!” replied Zoreaux.
Sam had the weary air of someone who’d been listening to this argument for some time. “There’s nothing to stop you making a donation as well Jan.”
Rebecca smiled. He really was a wise head on (really very) young shoulders. Meanwhile -
“Hey Jamie, is there a particular reason you don’t have a shirt on?”
He looked at Ted as if he was simple. “Gotta give the people what they want, yeah? It’s for the kids. Don’t want them being all underprivileged and shit just because I wouldn’t take my top off. That’s just selfish, and I aren’t like that anymore.”
Unexpectedly, neither of them could argue with that logic.
Dani was singing along to the music, smiling broadly as usual. “A clean car is a thing of beauty and joy. I am happy to bring the joy.”
They made their way back to the entrance. Judging by the number of cars already waiting, it was shaping up to be a very successful event. Rebecca felt a swell of pride watching the team come together to do something selfless (even if they were on work time, they could certainly have refused to take part) and a wave of affection for the man next to her who’d made it happen.
“Y’know, I kinda miss having a car to wash. There’s something real satisfying about the routine of doing it every week. Making it all shiny, having a cold beer afterwards. It’s almost meditative.” He sighed. “If I try it on my ride here the bus drivers look at me strangely.”
“Well you’re always welcome to pop by my place if you’re having withdrawal symptoms. You can give the Range Rover a good rub down.”
Ted’s eyes widened just a fraction before he appeared to give that some thought. “Well that’s a mighty kind offer. And would that be for charity or for fun?”
“I don’t see why it can’t be both.”
He stepped a little closer. “Are you gonna invite me in for a cold beer if I do a real good job?”
Someone was feeling bold.
“Well that depends,” she kept her face serious and held his gaze. “Do you promise to wear that outfit?”
Ted’s jaw slackened pleasingly. She always loved the sound of his voice but there was something thrilling about rendering him speechless.
“You okay there Coach Lasso? You’re looking a little dazed,” she smirked.
Before he could reply, for the second time that morning, the universe decided to spoil Rebecca’s fun.
“Hello darling!” trilled a distressingly familiar voice.
“Mum!” Rebecca straightened up and put some space between herself and Ted. “What on earth are you doing here?”
Deborah looked between them from the driver's seat, amused.
“I saw the videos on Insta and it all looked terribly jolly so I thought I’d pop over. It wasn’t a difficult decision - I get to spend some time with my favourite daughter, a lovely clean car, and a delightful view while I’m waiting - hello Ted.” She stepped elegantly out of the Tesla, ignoring Rebecca in favour of kissing him on both cheeks.
“Always good to see you Deborah.” Ted had recovered his equilibrium with impressive speed.
“Goodness, I must say, you look rather different in slightly damp leisure wear. I had no idea you were in such good shape.” She cocked her head. “Is that something you choose to cover up on purpose do you think?
“Mother!”
“I’m only taking an interest. Ted doesn’t mind, do you Ted? Anyway I must go and hand my keys over to one of these lovely young men, I’ll meet you in your office sausage, don’t rush on my account,” and in a waft of perfume and hairspray, she was gone.
Rebecca felt she should be too old to be embarrassed by her mum in front of a boy she liked. And yet. “Christ, I swear she’s getting worse. Sorry Ted.”
“Naw, no apologies needed. I respect her commitment to speaking her mind. Unlike Forrest’s momma’s box of chocolates, with Deborah Welton you always know what you’re gonna get. I gotta say though, I never realised you ladies felt so strongly about car cleanliness,” he twinkled.
He baked biscuits, looked good in shorts, and was still smiling even after being psychoanalysed by her mother. A godsend indeed.
“Right, well. I should probably go after her, who knows what chaos she might cause unsupervised.”
“Good call, Ru Paul. I should get back to helping the boys anyway.” He gestured behind him.
“Right. Okay. Good. See you later then?” She didn’t mean to make it sound quite so much like an actual question.
He gave an easy salute. “See you later, boss.”
She hadn’t made it more than a few steps toward the club when he called after her.
“Hey Rebecca?”
She turned back to him, face open. “Yes?”
“You got any beers in your fridge at home?”
“No, why?
“Well if I’m gonna come round for that rub down, you might wanna stock up. Make sure we can both keep our sides of the bargain.”
He twitched his eyebrows and flashed her a grin before walking away, just the hint of a swagger to his shorts clad hips.
Rebecca watched him go, her cheeks warming. She really should go and see to her mother. But first..
“Siri, search same day Budweiser delivery.”