Chapter Text
“Hi, this is Becca from the Eagleton Parks Department. Is this Ben Wyatt?”
“Uh, yes it is, is this about the meeting Thursday?”
“Lucky guess, Lindsay suddenly had something pop up in her schedule, and she was hoping you and Leslie would be available tomorrow instead?”
It wasn’t even a lucky guess, just a pretty simple inference, but that was probably the least concerning part of that statement.
“Oh, well it-it seems yes that we’ll be able to make it tomorrow. Yes, that should be fine, thank you.”
“Alright, Lindsay will see you tomorrow. Really, thank you for your flexibility. I know it can be inconvenient to move things around so close to their deadline.”
“Oh, it’s alright, really. I understand.”
After throwing out pleasantries that took more thought than he could muster and all but dropping the phone back on the hook, he hopped up from his desk and made his way to the restroom. He breathed in and out, even if his airways had transferred to a thin, whistling pipe. His knuckles were turning white, and he hoped against all hopes that no one would notice anything was wrong with him.
Ben stepped into the bathroom stall, and despite his trembling hands, he was able to swiftly lock the stall behind him. He wasn’t nearly as lucky with the top button of his shirt, so he settled for digging his fingers between his tie and his shirt, desperately trying to loosen it. Every position of his hands seemed to make him more uncomfortable than the last until he just wrapped his arms around his head in defeat.
He squeezed his eyes shut and paced around the family-size stall. It didn’t seem to help; none of it did. He just had to tire himself out, but that method certainly had its shortcomings.
“Hey Ben, are you in here?” It was Leslie outside the stall.
Wait, she wasn’t allowed in here. What was she doing? She was going to get fired, and he’d never see her again, and he’d just go back to being Mean Ben, and-
“So, here’s the plan, you can let me in if you want, and I’ll do whatever you think would help you to calm down.”
If he let her in, she’ll just watch him devolve into the psychotic freak she’s been trying to convince herself he isn’t, but if he didn’t, she’ll just stand out there, pretending she’s perfectly okay with it when she was trying to be sweet and helpful as always, but he turned her down, and he’d be Cindy Eckert.
“Oh whoops, you probably can’t answer me, uhh just unlock the door if you want me to come in, and if you don’t, I’ll leave in 30 seconds.”
He couldn’t let her down, but right now, he didn’t now what action meant what. God, he couldn’t breathe. He was sweating like an ice-filled glass.
“Hey hey Ben, just listen okay? Listen to the sound of my voice,” she said dreamily, “We’re going to do the 4-7-8 method. It’s very simple. 4, 7, and 8 are all very good numbers in my opinion, but anyways, you breathe in for 4 seconds, you hold your breath for 7, and then you exhale for 8. Starting off, you’re probably not going to be able to do it. It’s completely expected that it’ll take you a little bit to get there. Just go for it, Ben.”
It was still shaky and quick, but his breathing rate was already starting to slow bit by bit. With things now starting to come to a comprehensible pace, he decided to unlock the door. He wasn’t going to be Cindy Eckert, but more importantly, he wasn’t just going to block her out of this.
His arms returned to wrap around his head as he turned away from the door and Leslie slipped in before locking it again.
“I heard you pacing before. You can keep going, do you want me to not look at you?”
He gave a sheepish nod, and Leslie turned around before counting him through the 4-7-8. Ben paced and breathed and tried to ignore the fact that sweat had surely soaked through his shirt a little. It made him want to spontaneously combust, but kind of everything right now did, except Leslie.
He could still feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears, but he was breathing in and out with his now-dry throat. Things were slowing, and he had reached the point of being more tired than anxious. He had come to it far faster than normal, and he wasn’t even that exhausted. Maybe this breathing thing held some weight.
“Alright Ben, can you talk to me?”
He gave an “mhmm,” that sounded more like a groan.
“Did something happen that I need to know about?” She asked with her speech-giving intensity and clarity.
He nodded, even if she couldn’t see it, “Uhh, yeah it’s… they-they pushed the Eagleton meeting. It’s tomorrow.”
It sounds so stupid. People freak out over big presentations, not the fact that a presentation is happening on a different day. That’s a reason to buckle down and start working your shit out, not run off and waste precious time.
“Wait what? It’s supposed to be Thursday,” she yelled, “They did this just to throw us off our game, I’m telling you! But it’s not going to work. We are going to borrow replacements for Jackpot and Sundrop (may they rest in peace), and we are going to have the best carriage rides to ever grace the town of Pawnee if it kills us, Ben!”
Typically, yelling tended to be very unhelpful in settling panic, but her outrage seemed to wipe away the frustration of this really not being a big deal. It was a big deal to him, and Leslie didn’t deny that in the slightest.
He sharply exhaled through his nose without the energy to laugh.
“What is it?”
“It’s just how upset you are about it too. I don’t know.”
“It’s a dirty trick, Ben, but anyways, is there anything you need?”
“Umm well, probably a different shirt, but-“ he mumbled, embarrassed by the sweat that now dampened his crisp white shirt.
He had mostly stopped pacing, and he lowered his arms to cross behind his back.
“Oh, what if you went home, and we just worked on the presentation over the phone?”
“It’s fine, Leslie really, and uh you can turn around.”
She did as instructed before explaining, “Ben, just imagine it: it’ll be completely silent and calm in your house because April and Andy are here, and you won’t be missing work at all because you’ll still be working from your house.”
“I-I don’t want to just take off work for nothing.”
“You won’t be. You’ll still be working and you’d only have to interact with one person. Also, this isn’t nothing. I can tell that this sucked.”
“I… I guess.”
“Alright, so you’re going to get ready to go out there, you’re going to go to your office and get your things, and you’re going to drive home. I’ll tell Ron you went home sick, and then, you’ll get home and call me, so we rock this presentation. Sound like a plan?”
“You’re going to lie for me? I-I don’t want him to find out, and get both of us in trouble for lying to his face.”
“Oh, I’ve lied to his face before, and he understands when it’s for the greater good. Any other worries I can help with?”
“Nope, I think all the other ones are going to stick around a while.”
“Would talking about them do anything?”
“I’d much rather walk out there looking like I do now than get into any of that.”
“Point taken. Now, do you want my hand mirror to fix your hair?”
“Yes please.”