Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Mm, what’s going on?”
“Nya!”
“Could you repeat that?”
“Nya!”
“Ow! That was rude. W-where am I going?”
“Nya!”
“What is that? What are you unshackling? Ow! Hey!”
“Nya!”
“Don’t touch me-! Woah!”
Thunk.

Chapter Text

It was a nice summer day, nicer than you think. I was in the local food market, searching for things to buy with what little I had. People were bustling about, and I was constantly bumped into. A few death glares came my way here and there, but it was nothing new. People always hated you in the markets, they feared you would take their stuff.

Like I could ever afford what you want, I thought and continued on my way. The price for a piece of bread was so high these days. I could barely scrape enough together.

As I walked for a while, eyeing the stands full of unaffordable food, I caught a glimpse of a triangle-headed guy. He seemed to have only one eye. We collided shoulders, and with me being the smaller of us, I fell straight on the floor. Like face-flat on the floor. It was not fun.

“Watch where you're going, Roundie. You shouldn’t even be here.” He mumbled as he walked away. I sighed. This was normal, especially for a ‘Roundie’. Most circle heads are rich and successful, so one hanging by the poor part of town makes you look like a failure. Which I’m not.

“Another day,” I quietly said as I tried to push myself up to no avail. I hurt my arm on the way down, only fueling my anger. “Another jerk to put on my hit list.”

I’m no quitter, I’m not going to let some fat-headed triangle make the best of me. I continued my sad attempt at a push up, repositioning my weight to one side. I swung my bag on my back and got on one of my knees.

I looked up, and then I saw him.

There was a square-headed person with his hand extended towards me. He had a caring smile and was wearing some sort of suit. I looked at him confused and then with irritation.

What’s this guy doing? He looks too rich to be around here. Is he pitying me? Ugh. I thought, giving the guy looming above me a dirty look. No way was I letting him help me. Showing vulnerability was the best way to get people to come after you. Not risking that.

I stumbled to get my other foot under me, especially with my poor balance. I kept looking up at the taller figure above me with suspicion. I tried to mask my embarrassment with hostility, but it did not deter this square fellow. His expression never changed, staying the same, kind smile from before.

He gestured his hand out to me again, even going as far as to get on one knee and be eye-level with me. I flinched away a little, but then I got a good look at him. He seemed familiar somehow, like I had seen him when I was younger. Some weird deja vu thing. Especially his eyes. I do not know where, but I have seen those eyes before.

I inhaled slowly, trying to grip onto my pride as much as possible. Then, I let out a sigh of defeat, shook my head, and reluctantly grabbed his hand. My head hung low as he pulled me up. I dusted myself off and avoided eye contact with him. I assumed he was still smiling.

I mumbled a quiet “thanks” and continued on my way, my hand on my hurt arm. The square fellow followed me though, and I raised an eyebrow. My brows furrowed after as I turned around with irritation.

“How-”

“What? I said thanks,” I quickly cut him off. I then turned away again, only for the square man to grab my shoulder. I flinched again and groaned loudly. I slowly turned around again, glaring at him now.

“Well,” the man started, spinning his wrist in a thinking style, “I was wondering what someone like you would be doing around here?” He smiled again, more nervous this time.

I scoffed at him, lifting my chin slightly. I eyed the fancy clothes the guy was wearing. His suit was clearly well ironed, with fine fabrics in a slight platt pattern on the tux trimmed with gold and black dress pants with ankle high boots. He had a red handkerchief around his neck with a nice undershirt that was fairly close to his skin tone. I then stared at his face. It was well taken care of, not a blemish in sight. He was either really good with makeup, or his skin was just naturally that nice. Not poor at all.

“I could ask the same question,” I responded.

“Oh,” The square man said, his face brightening up, “I’m doing volunteer work! I help clean the streets.” He pulled out a plastic bag filled with a minimal amount of trash and pointed to it. I tried to hold in a laugh.

“Oh, please,” I dismissed him, “There’s nothing you could do to make this place look nice.” I pointed to one of the street fights going on between a light blue cylinder and orange triangle with my thumb, maintaining eye contact with him. They were fighting over an apple.

“Well, you could be a little more hopeful,” He said quietly while rubbing his arm. I shrugged.

“Hopeful, hopeless, peeslosh. Same thing in these parts,” I said nonchalantly. I turned away again to continue on my way to the bread concession stand. He stood there like a deer in headlights before shouting something at me.

“Peeslosh?”

I stopped walking for a second and stamped my foot on the ground. “Can you leave me alone?” I raised my voice for a bit. I looked over my shoulder to see him still standing there. “Good ridiance,” I said quietly.

I got a good twelve feet away from him before I heard a faint “hey” and some footsteps. I continued forward, but not fast enough apparently.

“You never answered my question,” he commented.

“Why should I?” I refused to look at him. I did not care if he saw me looking more angered, but I did not care to see his annoyed look.

“Well, that’s awfully rude of you,” he huffed while crossing his arms. Somehow he kept pace with me in his nice clothes.

“Everyone here is ‘awfully rude,’” I air quoted, “If you’re doing volunteer work here, get used to it. I did.”

This didn’t scare the well-dressed fellow though, and he did not move away. He kept walking. At this point, I was getting really close to the bread stand, but decided to take a detour in hopes he would get off my tail. Most shape heads would have left by now but he did not. It was intriguing, but incredibly irritating.

I tested his will. I spoke my mind.

“Why are you still here?” I asked, visibly angry now. He turned to me in surprise.

“What do you mean?” He looked almost offended, “Of course I’m still here.”

“Most people would have left by now. They find me ‘out of place’ or whatever,” I complained. I flicked my wrist in a ‘shoo’ motion, hoping he would get the memo. The square headed tilted his head, so I guess he did not, or just chose to ignore it.

“I don’t find you out of place. I can relate to you actually,” he said with sympathy on his face.

I rolled my eyes at this comment and growled quietly. “Of course you do.”

Screw the bread, I want out.

I started to sprint through the crowd, or as well that you could sprint through a crowd, but the suited person kept pace! How!? Was he on the track team or something!?

“Would you just stop?!” I shouted over my shoulder. I did not care who I was running onto at this point. I was getting out. “You couldn’t possibly relate to me!”

I seemed to startle the man, but he kept up. “Yes I-”

“Just because I shouldn’t be here like you, I am like you?! You aren’t and won’t ever be anything like me! I should be in a mansion down yonder but here I am, barely scraping enough for food!” I was so caught up in my outburst that I did not realize that I stopped running and squeezed my eyes shut.

“You look rich and well fed. Everything I’m not. So stop,” I huffed, lifting my hands and throwing them down in frustration, “Just. stop.”

I opened one eye and looked around. He was gone and a good amount of people turned to look at me with reactions of pity all the way to disgust. He was gone so now I looked like an idiot in front of everyone.

Great.

I grabbed the shoulder strap of my bag and glared at everyone staring at me. I turned around and low and behold, ran into another person.

That someone was the fine square-headed man. His arms were crossed and he looked down at me with an irritated look. Just my luck.

“Not you,” I whined in both anger, but now sadness. He seemed to pick up on this.

“Listen,” he said with care, “maybe I don't know much about you and what you need, but I know one thing.”

He approached me. I leaned back and curled up, my hands rising to my chest. He grabbed both of my hands. I wanted to pull back, to refuse his kindness, but I stayed still. We looked at each other.

“You need a friend.”

I was at a loss for words. I was in denial for a second, but then I realized he was not wrong. I never really had friends. All the ones I did have were just using me for my family’s money.

“I-I…” I stuttered, feeling pain swell in my chest. This guy was actually showing me genuine kindness, and it could not be for my money. He was rich, and I had nothing. I bit my lower lip and looked down, tears starting to well in my eyes.

“I, I guess I do,” I mumbled, looking at the ground in shame. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at the man, trying to keep myself composed.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll be your first,” he commented with a smile. I could not help but smile too.

“My name is Hatty. Hatty Hattington,” he continued.

“People around here call me-”
“STAMPER!”

Thunder cracked the air, lightning slashed through the sky, the winds were aggressive, and the waves violently crashed into our small boat. You could not see the sky. All that could be seen was just dark, menacing clouds constantly rolling as rain pelted hard against the wooden floorboards.

I could hardly see and barely noticed that I was leaning off the boat. It was not made clear to me until I felt my elbow loose the wooden railing and my feet leaving the floor. I panicked and struggled to maintain my balance. I grabbed the ledge and scrunched up, trying to force myself forward. The ship was not helping since the whole vehicle was tossing us around like a pinball machine. Eventually, the ship turned, but a little too much. This resulted in me flying forward and slamming my face on the floor.

I blinked, trying to keep myself stable. I could make out the shapes of Hatty, Reginald, and Rigel. I tried to shield my eyes from the rain but it was no use; my arm was too skinny and could only block out a little. Hatty was controlling the ship, but he was doing it poorly. I knew that I could control the ship better than him, I just needed a way over. I felt around for a railing, and luckily, I did it easily. With all my willpower, I pulled my way to the front of the boat.

I could hear Reggie and Dick squabbling, but I paid no attention to that. I had to get to Hatty. However, their volume still let me hear them.

“I do say gentlemen, I do believe we’re in quite a spot of bother,” is what I could make out from Reginald. I rolled my eyes as I proceeded forward.

“REALLY?!” Dick’s voice complained, somehow breaking through the storm, “WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF GENIUS!?!”

I could stop to deal with those two later, but now I needed to get to Hatty. The rain was still beating down on us, and with me being on the ground, it was extra strong. I curled up to resist the wind.

“Stamper!?” Hatty called out into the storm, “Where are you?! The rain’s too thick!”

I looked up through the storm. I saw Hatty clearly now, his body trying to hold the boat steady. I got a boost of motivation and picked up my pace. Eventually, I made it to Hatty. He was grunting while holding the steering wheel in place. I could see the fear in his face.

“Hatty! I’m here, homie!” I shouted to him. I reached for the steering wheel and pulled myself over, tripping on the slippery wood below me.

“Stamper!? Stamper! There you are! Are you ok!?” Hatty shouted back. He helped me get my balance back on the wheel.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine! Are you ok?!” I asked. He nodded while gripping onto the rim next to the wheel. He seemed to still be in shock of me being thrown across the boat.

Suddenly Reggie and Dick ran-crawled over.

“What happened!? It was calm moments ago!” Dick yelled trying to get his ground. He clenched onto the rim opposite of Hatty, furiousness very clear in his voice.

“It’s simple!” I yelled back.

“Oh yeah!?” Dick questioned.

“Yeah! It’s like Posiden himself extended his hand in friendship, and we spat in his mouth!” I shouted back sarcastically, trying to regain control of the ship. I grunted and I held the wheel steady, both Hatty and Dick holding the pegs that I was not.

“We didn’t do any of those horrid ideas though. I recall-”

“It’s a figure of speech, Reg!” I cut him off. It wasn’t time for messing around, it was up to me to get my friends, to get Hatty, to safety. My eyes shined with determination as I fought for control over the ship. Eventually, we reached an even patch of water. I was feeling proud, but that did not last for long. I loosened my grip on the wheel.

My fatal mistake.

“Stamper! Wave!” Hatty screamed, pointing at the massive wave about to engulf our ship. I stared in shock and horror. I looked behind me.

Hatty, Reginald, and Rigel were gone.

My eyes shot open. “Guys?!” I called out in fear.

I quickly whipped my head back around to see the wave right above me. I tried to scream, but I was not fast enough. It pulled me under. I tried to swim, to get out of this situation, but I could not. Something was holding on to me, like some large patch of seaweed or a crevasse of rocks. I clawed for freedom, feeling the suffocating cold and water fill my senses. I cringed and braised for the worst.

Suddenly, the cold changed to hot. Really hot. Boiling. I shot my eyes open and saw cats. Lots of them. They were giant, orange, anthropomorphic and had some sort of outfit on. It was scratchy and uncomfortable. They all had glowing eyes piercing through me and pointy teeth bared for me to see. I squirmed but they had a death grip, claws digging into my arms. One of them, the largest of the bunch, grabbed my head and forced me to look straight ahead.

I continued my struggle to no resolve. I then looked to see him.

Hatty.

He was crying and wearing a black top hat with a brown stripe. He looked at me blankly, as if his soul was gone. I tried to speak but I could not. I tried to yell but nothing came out. I clenched my fists and I shifted with all my might.

I had to get away from these beasts. I had to get out of their grip.

I had to get to Hatty.

I opened my mouth to speak again; only a squeak escaped. I stared wide-eyed in terror, tears beginning to trickle down my face. I looked at him, pleading with him.

“Hatty. Please.”

He blinked, then turned to anger. The hat flared up again, the boiling sensation coming back much stronger. He raised a hand up and leaned it back, the fire swarming his hand.

All I could do was stare.

With a huff, he leaned back fully and shot forward, the red light shooting towards my face. I instinctively curled up-

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“Get up, Performer 10146. It’s your turn onstage.”

Chapter Text

“Hu-”

CLANK! CLANK!

“AHH-”

THUNK.

“Wake up!”

The loud clanking of metal startled me awake. My eyes shot open. My body reacted involuntarily with my head smacking the metal bed above me. It hurted like a certain word that I cannot say.

“Ow, shi- crap!” I yelped. My hand shot to my head, my legs got pulled to my torso, and I squeezed my eyes shut. There was a quiet growl ahead of me, raspy and clearly angry. I slowly opened one eye while remaining scrunched up. I wanted to know my barings in case things got hairy. I rubbed my head and looked at my surroundings.

Everything was gray and dull. The walls were bleak and incredibly unwelcoming. The bolts that held the tiny room together were clearly old and unmaintained. Heck, some of the bolts were missing! I do not think it would cost that much to repair that. The metal on the walls was also rusting. It was not everywhere, so that was good, I guess. Hardy worth mentioning.

Speaking of the room, geez was it small. Even looking around I felt claustrophobic. The whole room was around elevenish feet by sevenish feet. Horrid. I could barely walk around without being constricted, especially with these metal beds that took up half the space. It did not even have any mattresses. It was literally just a bedsheet. Nothing else.

Ahead of me was the most damning piece of evidence of my situation. A wall of dark gray metal bars: all crossed and welded together. There was a door, but it looked heavy with the largest lock I have ever seen. And then, the worst part: a giant, orange and white creature in a dark suit. Taking a closer look, its suit had gold markings on it. Looking up past the terrifying yellow eyes, the hat on its head had a gold badge-looking thing on it. I raised an eyebrow, trying to connect the dots with my groggy mind. I rubbed my head again.

Then it hit me.

I was in prison.

I have never gone to prison on the Mainland, but I guarantee the inmates are treated better than here. It was the most sad place I have ever been in. If this was not a cruel and unusual punishment, I do not know what is. When just sitting down creates super loud creaking noises, you know the situation is bad.

“W-Where am I?” I said out loud, only for the creature’s hiss to be my response. I tensed up and looked directly at the… thing in front of me.

“Yuo betterrr rrready five.” He growled. I was confused for a second. This creature spoke English (and poorly may I add)? And it had a heavy “Russian” accent? How? Was it even Russian, or some other thing?

“Ready in five?” I asked hesitantly, “Why? What is this place?” My hand left my head to cross my arms to my chest. My knees stayed up.

Suddenly a new noise echoed through this small jail cell. I heard a raspy laugh above me, and it was high pitched and childish. Strange enough that there was a monster ready to get me, but one might be in the room too? I looked up to the underside of the bed above me, stress beginning to build up in my chest. The creaking from above me got louder until a final crack shook the room. I flinched when a bright orange person jumped from the upper bunk. They did a front flip before landing perfectly on their feet. They stood up straight in a T-position before licking their hands and pushing their hair back. They also had animal ears?

Soon, they turned around to look at me. Their look narrowed as they eyed me down. I did the same with them.

They were a circle-headed person like me, but they were wearing an orange jumpsuit with ‘10298’ on their waist. They’re head was white and fuzzy with two small pointy ears protruding from the top. Their sleeves were rolled up halfway, and I noticed some bandages on their arms. The fur on their body was very well maintained and looked soft to the touch. They had a tail that was well-groomed and very fluffy. Fingerless gloves covered their hands with little sharp nails poking out through the fur. Their jumpsuit was very well tailored with no rips or damage whatsoever. As I examined them, the more they looked like a cat. And if not a cat, a more cat-like human. They kind of looked like the feral cats that would try and steal your food in the alleyways of the big city.

I wondered what they were doing in a place like this.

“Ye new to the ‘performing thing,’ hmm?” They finally spoke. At least based on the pitch of voice, I assumed she was a girl. She leaned back and pulled her arm across her chest, twisting her back in the process. I could hear her back pop with a quiet grunt emitting from her mouth. She relaxed to prepare for the same action on the opposite arm.

“I- what?” I questioned, opening up my body to do a dramatic arm gesture, “Performing? I have never performed in my life!” I quickly scooted to the end of the bed and got up. As I shuffled towards her, I noticed my jumpsuit. It was white and fairly baggie. It was almost as white as my skin, but remained slightly darker. There were no other colors except a number in a big, black, blocky font. It was on my right arm and had ‘10146’ imprinted on it.

“Ye’re Performer 10146? Guess ye replaced’m,” she commented nonchalantly. She finished her stretch and shrugged, headed back to the upper bunk. Before she could pull herself up, I grabbed her jumpsuit sleeve. It was a reactionary deed; I needed answers now.

“Performer?” I asked in a panic, “I told you I- ugh.” I let out a loud sigh to relieve the tightness in my chest. My thoughts raced too fast to form a cohesive sentence. She seemed to take interest in this and turned to face me. She raised a brow to my questioning, keeping one hand on the bed rim. Her ear flickered.

I took a moment to breathe, moving my arms up and down with my breath. As soon as I recollected myself, I asked, “Can you please explain to me what’s going on?! Where are we? What is that thing outside the door? Where is my friend, Hatty?”

I tried to look pleading. Apparently this was amusing to her, since she gave me the most snarky smile ever.

She rolled her eyes with a light chuckle. “Hatty?” She said as she fully faced me, “Square-headed guy: brown suit, rich lookin’, blank face… cryin’?”

I frowned at the crying bit, but smiled in the end, “Yes, that’s him!” I responded enthusiastically, “But you forgot the adjectives: undoubtedly charming, the kindest person on earth, and the walking definition of handsome gentleman.”

She looked unamused at my addition of description and glared at me. She raised her chin and smiled again. “Yeah, know’m.” she continued, “He’ the new leader from yesterday. What about’m? He ye friend?”

I nodded. “Oh yes,” I cheerfully replied, “We’ve been best friends since forever. He is a really admirable guy and really can’t do anything wrong. He’ll do anything to help get me out of a jam-”

She scoffed, rudely cutting me off, “Then why hasn't he saved ye yet? Why’re ye pe’formin’ if ye ‘best friends’ with the leader?” She stared at me and crossed her arms.

I stammered, trying to think of a legitimate response to that question. Why hadn’t he come for me yet? Like, I get that he gained a fancy hat and got me imprisoned by these giant monsters, but he would surely come to get me soon, right?

“Uh, maybe he uh- maybe, this is an easy performance?” I sheepishly said, a nervous grin on my face. Before I knew it, a white padded-palm collided with my face. It wasn’t hard by any means, but it still hurt. I rubbed my cheek and glared at the prisoner in front of me.

She giggled in a worrying tone.

“Ow! What was that for?!” I shouted at her.

The cat cackled loudly. I stared at her in disbelief before she “explained” herself.

“This is BattleBlock Theater, an easy pe’formance is a dead pe’formance,” she hissed with condescension. Her grin was wide, but her face masked a hidden pain that I managed to pick up on.

“Wha-”

She pointed at me with a sharp claw hooking to my jumpsuit, once again cutting me off. “If there was any chance that you would get an ‘easy pe’formance,’ you might as well not even pe’form,” she growled, “It’s not interestin’ enough for the cats’re.”

Cats? Cats? Is that what they are? They are far too large to be cats. And ugly too, being honest. Cats are cute, not… those.

I kept my glare as I grabbed her hand and unhooked it from my outfit. I dropped it and crossed my arms. “As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me.” I remarked, only to be faced with an angered huff from my cellmate, ”What is this ‘BattleBlock Theater’?”

She did not respond. She just stared at me. Like a cat. This ‘performer’ was really starting to get on my nerves. Her stare continued, and I just rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” I huffed, “You probably know jack squat. I won’t perform!”

“Oh, ye?” She asked smugly. She raised both her brows and looked to the exit of our cell before looking back at me. “Tell that to’m.”

I paused to quickly glance over at the giant ‘cat’ at the door. I faked a triumphant smile before saying, “Those giant, aggressive, pointy-teeth… claw bearing…cats,” my voice got quieter and trembled slightly. I stopped talking for a second before bursting with energy to compensate for my fear. “They don’t scare me at all whatsoever!” I called out.

The white feline-hybrid just snickered at me. The orange cat on the outside of the cage turned its head to us with a narrowed look. I felt a shiver shoot down my spine.

I was lying, and both cats knew it. I was downright terrified of those giant felines. And rightfully so! Being kidnapped and thrown in prison is not welcoming. The nightmare I had last night did not make it better, even if it was primarily about Hatty over the cats.

“Not scared, hmm?” She chuckled darkly, “Hehe, good luck with that.”

I raised a brow. “What does that mean?”

She looked me straight in the eye and raised her chin up, fully revealing a circular collar around her neck. It was metallic and pretty thick with a protruding bit that had a small red light on it. It was blinking. I was surprised I did not notice the light sooner. Must be all her neck fur.

She then gestured to me and I felt my blood run cold.

I slowly lifted my hand to my neck. I had one too. I gasped and quickly brought my other hand to it, tugging at the metal. I repositioned and tried yanking on it again, only to get blasted by an ear piercing beep. I let go of the device and covered my ears. I cringed until the noise went away. I slowly removed my hands from my head and straightened up again.

On the other hand, my cellmate bursted out laughing. She was bent over herself being more boisterous than before. I glared at her and blew her a raspberry. She just found this more amusing.

“Ye very entertainin’.” She laughed, wiping a tear from her eye, “The cats will like you.” Her smile became much more malicious now, which slightly irked me. I huffed and rolled my eyes.

“S-so, what?” I stuttered, “It’s just a non-removable collar. No biggie.” I flicked my wrist with a smile to show my disinterest and hide my nervousness.

This made the circle-headed person laugh louder. I frowned again.

“No biggie?” she snarled, “No biggie? Are ear bleedin’ beeps and slight possibility of bein’ choked to death ‘no biggie’?! Is blowin’ up no biggie?! Hmph. Ye won’t get far.” Her face had a smirk on it and she turned away. She definitely knew what she was talking about.

“Blowing up-?!”

CLANK!

“Eep!” I squeaked. Another loud bang at the door broke our conversation. The orange cat was now facing us. It did not look happy.

“10298!” It yowled, “Stop distrrracting new performerrr!” I backed up out of instinct and so did she. She soon recomposed herself as the cat unlocked the door and came in. She snuffed and pulled herself onto her metallic bed. I reached out to keep her at my side, but I was greeted by the other person in my cage. Its shadow blocked any light from hitting me.

I froze and slowly looked up. There stood the giant cat from outside right behind me. I could not explain how much horror I felt at that moment. I slowly turned around to face it. Its teeth were bared and eyes as sharp as daggers. I struggled to do anything: run, fight, make snarky remarks, but I just stood there and raised a hand in a pitiful attempt at a wave. I tried to smile too, but I looked more like a child trying to hide a bad grade from their parents.

Apparently, my friendly action was undeserved because that giant feline violently grabbed my arm and viciously dragged me out of the cell. I tried to pull away, but it just resulted in it drawing its claws out to dig into my uniform and in turn, my skin. I winced and looked towards the girl on the upper bunk. Instead of helping me, she just loafed up and watched intently, tail swaying slightly.

I squirmed some more and whined slightly. The grip got tighter before the cat spoke to me. “If know what good forrr yuo,” It snarled at me, “Shut!” Scared for my life at this point, I obeyed its orders and got dragged out of the cell. I looked at the fellow circle head once more for help. She just shrugged.

“Enjoy your first and probably last performance, 10146! Make it worth it!” she smiled deviously. As I was pulled away, I watched her raise a hand and wiggle her fingers at me. I looked away and faced the hallway I was entering. It smelled musty and super old. I gulped, hoping what she said was not true.

We did not walk down the hallway I was expecting to. Instead of turning left or right where the other prisoners were, we went through a door into a different hallway. The hallways were dark with an unnerving feeling. It was a creepy liminal space with just me and this villainous cat. It was firmly grabbing my right arm and dragging me along. Now, that I was up close, I could properly see the person who kidnapped me, or, cat.

There were scars littered all over it: on the ear, the nose, the lip, and the left side of its face. Oh yeah, and a missing eye. At least I thought it was missing. An eyepatch is only worn if your eye is missing or if you have some gross infection. It also had a more puffy amount of fur around its mouth that drooped down. It looked like a beard. Streaks of white fur littered the orange fur, and I think there was dried blood too.

I cringed a bit before continuing my examination. I had not noticed I was slowing down, but I did notice the piercing claws getting deeper into my arm and possibly scratching it. After wincing, I looked at the thick jacket the thing was wearing. The uniform looked pretty standard with a black bow and overcoat with large pockets, white button-up undercoat, and gold lining on certain parts of the outfit such as the jacket collar stripes and the “SECURITY” on its back. I turned my eyes slightly to see that this thing had a massive gun hooked on it shoulder?! How did I not notice that sooner?

Yeesh, it was a scary cat. I stopped observing it after that.

And I don’t mean to be rude, but it looked old.

Like, really old.

For some reason, I was not freaking out. I was still scared, but my flight or fight was not responding. It felt like it was buffering or just decided to leave for the day. I think my biggest problem was the position I was in. I mean, being pulled around by your arm is not the most comfortable experience. Also, the passageway was dead silent, so all I could hear was the stomps of the cat’s feet and the light tapping of my boots. It was incredibly awkward, and the silence made me very uncomfortable.

I decided to break the silence

“Uh, Cat Guy? Can you like, hold me better? It’s kinda unpleasant. Maybe you can like, walk at my pace or-”

The cat shot me in the side eye and growled in response. It kept going, ignoring my request. I looked away. Its response did not fill the silence void, so I continued.

“Hey, you can’t just tell me no and walk away! Why do you have to growl at me? Cat got your tongue-?”

Another growl was heard, this time more prominent and deep. I rolled my eyes. It did not even bother to look at him this time.

“Nyah, nyah, nyah,” I mocked, “I’m a cat, see? I’m grouchy, see? I drag prisoners who are clearly uncomfortable with the way I hold them around and hurt their feelings, see?” I was doing kitty-cat gestures with my free arm, but the large cat ignored me.

Guess he stopped listening, I thought, Might as well fill the emptiness myself then.

“I hate to break it to you,” I started, “but this place is a dump. How could you throw a performance in a place like this? The walls aren’t even painted! What do you show here? Shakesphere tragedies?! Like, at least clean the place up of all the cobwebs and make it more presentable. If I was in the audience, I would be looking at how dingy the place is instead of the performance. I’m not telling you what to do, just suggesting. If I’m performing in this, I would greatly dislike it. Just like, polish it a bit. Can’t be that hard. Just a rag and some spray should do.”

The old cat huffed at me. I decided to change the topic.

“You work here, right?” I asked.

The cat side-eyed me once again. I saw a slight nod despite the dark, but it could have just been its fast-paced walking.

“You must have met a guy called Hatty Hattington, right?” I continued, “The walking definition of handsome gentleman? Some cat like you said he was the new leader. Is that true? He’s a great leader coming from his bestest best friend. Anything he says would be a good- no- great idea. Why am I asking you this? You may not even work here. Sorry, you look like you’ve been here for a while, so I kinda just assumed you work here. If you don’t work here, where do you stay?”

The orange beast began growling again.

“You’re growling, so you must be listening.” I responded flatly, “Anyway, you know what he looks like, right? Sorry again, you might not work here. I’ll describe Hatty for you. He’s tall, undoubtedly handsome, has well defined cheekbones, and the nicest, kindest person who ever lived. It’s impossible to see him and not say ‘hi’. He just gives that vibe, y’know? The vibe where you just want to walk up to him and give him the biggest hug ever and-”

I was cut off by the security guard yanking me up by my arm. I was dangling there at eye level with this beast. It had its teeth bared wider than I remembered when I first got here, and its eyes were more piercing. Its wrinkled face only emphasized its aggravation. All I could look at was its teeth. I know I’m supposed to be paying attention to its eyes to be respectful, but those teeth. Those could tear me to shreds easily.

“Don’t carrre!” It snarled at me, “Shut mouth or yuo die before make stage!” I trembled in its grip, involuntary shivering. It seemed pleased by this reaction and roughly dropped its arm down along with me. I sort of landed on my feet, but I stumbled pretty bad. It ignored my predicament and quickly turned on its heel. It carried on the way it did before, but this time way faster. The threat hushed me up, and I was mostly silent. Sure, I mumbled inaudible comments here and there, but I was mostly quiet until we made it to the ‘stage’. Its pace made it hard to even say anything too, so I guess it knew what it was doing.

The hallway finally came to the end, and my arm was as sore as ever. There were definitely claw marks on my arm from its grip. I was also out of breath because of the stark height difference between us, trying to keep up with its long strides.

The room we entered barely had any light. It was almost pitch black, and my eyes were not adjusting to anything. I even lost track of the gruff cat death-gripping my arm. The only glowing things I could see were small, reddish streaked objects, a couple dim beeping lights, and a large, but very thin, line down the middle of the area.

In the darkness untouched by those lights, I heard a collection of noises filling the air and scratching across the floors. Things being rolled around, squeaking noises that sounded like pulleys, a wide variety of noises that a cat should not be making, and chattering. Lots of chattering. But it was not understandable chattering. It sounded more like the sounds cats would make in order to swindle you out of food. It would not be surprising if there were more than the two cats I have seen already. A stage production takes at least ten people, not even counting actors. But there seemed to be way more than ten cats.

Way more.

The old cat holding my arm suddenly stopped, resulting in me bumping into its back. I squeaked as I collided with it, but I quickly bounced back since its fur was really thick. I blinked a little to retain my bearings, or what I was able to grab in the first place. I placed my free arm out in order to balance only for it to be grabbed as well. I yelped and tried to pull my arm away, only to be shushed. My arm was tugged roughly away from me. Then proceed more chattering.

The first bit of chattering came from the thing that just grabbed my free arm. It was a lighter sounding voice, but it sounded irritated. The next bit came from the original old cat. Deep, gruff chittering came from it, seemingly responding to the younger one. It retorted back loudly, but was cut off by a third voice. It sounded more feminine than the others along with being more direct. The cat on my left responded flatley. The cat on my right let go of my arm and chattered a little more with the other two before it made its leave. Before it went back to the prison, it bent down to my ear. The only thing I could feel after that was its stanky-funk breath slapping my face saying, “Behave.”

I shivered and nodded. Then, I heard its footsteps fade in the direction we came from.

I turned to look in the direction of the fading noise. Before I knew it, two giant paws wrapped around my body, pinning my arms to my sides. Once again, the claws digging into my arms. I squirmed again.

“Could you not!?” I shouted.

“Ssshut up!” The cat hissed at me; once again, face way too close for comfort. I just looked away unamused and nodded slowly.

As soon as that ended, a whistle rang through the room. The cat holding me quickly picked me up and flung me over its shoulder. I was being held by my ankles with hurt, but at least it gave my arms a break. Bouncing along with this cat’s running was annoying, but not horrible because of the fur. It still made me sick.

“Does anyone know how to carry a person around here?” I grumbled to myself, “Geez.” I gripped onto the coat of the cat in hopes that it would make the bouncing less severe to mixed results. Soon, the cat stopped and so did the bouncing. I sighed in relief as I let go of the coat.

Just as I relaxed, I was quickly ripped off its shoulders and held sideways like a plank of wood. The captor then leaned its arms back and swung me out of its grasp. I screamed as I flew blindly through the air and collided face first with a cold metal surface. I groaned, feeling my mind slipping on impact. My arms were squished against the walls of the enclosure and my legs remained outside the walls. I felt a few more paws struggling to force my legs into the enclosure with the rest of me while harsh chattering occurred in the background. I think it was between the cat carrying me and the probably girl cat from before. After they were done, they chirped to each other and loudly shut the door. A loud click only solidified my imprisonment.

I could barely fit. My limbs were uncomfortably twisted to fill every ounce of that box. I tried to turn around to get to the entrance of the box, but there was no room to go anywhere. I just sighed in frustration and stayed still. I was just let out of a prison cell only to be shoved violently into an even smaller cage? How hospitable of them.

Suddenly, the box I was in began to move. The muffled sound of wheels on a cart filled my head. It was better than the insufferable chattering of the cats. I rose up and clashed harshly on some surface. The box was then tilted so that the wall my head was touching was facing upward. I could not move, but the metal was not merciful with the sound vibrations. I huffed in annoyance and just closed my eyes.

“What’s next, a loudspeaker-”

"Greeting, lady-cats and gentletoms!"

“Augh! Are you kidding me-”

“Welcome to BattleBlock Theater!” A loud voice boomed, “This is the beginning of a new era! Not just for our leader, but for our shows!”

Its sound echoed through the box, only making my ears ring more. I really wished my hands were not pinned at my sides. The muffled, but still loud, cheers of an audience did not make the situation any better. I grumbled angrily before remembering what my cellmate said before I was abducted.

'In BattleBlock Theater, an easy performance is a dead performance.'

I tensed up.

This is it, huh? The ‘performance’?

“Welcome to the first show with our new performers!” It cheered.

This would be way less annoying if it did not sound like an announcer on the radio, I complained in my head.

“Today, we’ll be performing a three part act-” He continued.

A three part act?! My eyes widened.

“With our special guest, Performer 10146!”

I audibly gasped, Sh- crap, that’s me!

I began squirming again to try and slip out of the box. I heard a ton of creaking and clanking from above me, along with the soft rubbing of fabric.

“And you all know the drill, sets of three will set you free!” the announcer voice completed.

Just then I heard large stage lights turn on with a loud clack. A light hum came from the stage as my cage door flung open. I shut my eyes quickly to prevent temporary blindness and mental shock. I heard an immense amount of clapping and whistles. After my eyes adjusted, I popped my head out the cage to see a painted wall. Nothing fancy. In fact, it was quite bland and pathetic. I forced the rest of my body outside of the box and stretched. I then heard a cough from behind me. I turned around and I felt my face go pale.

There, right in front of me, was a theater packed to the brim with cats. All kinds of cats. Male cats, female cats, heck there were even children there too! I was aghast and felt some sweat bead up on my forehead.

“What the hel- heck?!” I spat out, my eyes darting all around the crowd. My eyes shot over to the side of the stage where a cat was reading a newspaper. I looked to the crowd, grinned cheesily, and sprinted to my only escape. Apparently, my footsteps are really loud, so the reading cat immediately took notice. It quickly pulled down a lever that blocked off the backstage with a wall. Luckily, I was able to slow down in time to just bump the wall over a whole collision. I did not move. I was not doing this.

I heard a few audience-goers cough and mumble. I ignored them and kept glaring at the wall. The cat that pulled the lever slipped open a peephole to see me. Its eyes narrowed, shooing me away and angrily muttering, “Go”. I sighed and turned around.

The sooner I complete this, the sooner I can find Hatty.

The only thing I knew about this performance is to get “sets of three,” whatever that meant. I quickened my pace in order to complete this as fast as possible.

I began a trot and almost immediately tripped on the ridges of the blocks. I heard the audience giggle at it. I shot a glare at all of them. As I looked at the decorations, there were cardboard grass bushes and trees plastered around the area. The floor was a mix of tan and brown painted wood blocks scattered around sloppily. To my surprise, the set was not too extreme. I expected a chamber of absolute death or something. I could not go behind me, and I could not pass the painted wall. I looked to the floor of the stage to find a route down.

Security cats. A bunch of security cats.

Great. I rolled my eyes and scoffed in annoyance.

“Like I have somewhere else to go,” I mumbled as I picked up the pace.

After some simple climbing, I ran into my first road block: a wall. It was three blocks high, and I was only one and a half blocks high. I noticed a grip on top of it though. It was blue to contrast the browns of the blocks. I looked over to the audience and I did what any other person would do: jump. I couldn’t reach it though and fell back down. I tried again and again only to be a couple inches short. The audience was laughing at my misery.
“Don’t patronize me!” I yelled back at them then quickly covered my mouth wide-eyed.

I cannot talk back to the audience, can I? I guess I could since there was no evidence of the guard cats coming for me.

My comment made the cats laugh louder. I grew more irritated.

“You think this is funny?” I barked, “I can do this! Just watch!”

I noticed some blocks behind me that could give me the height I needed. I shuffled my way back, prepared myself mentally, and jumped. Even with my scrawny, underworked legs, I was still able to propel myself far enough to barely grab the grip. The rest of my body slammed against the wood, making me wince. The laughter continued as I forced my body to conquer this wall. I crawled up and stood straight up with some sweat running down my face. I saw the cats in the audience clapping, making me grin.

I looked over to see a couple other arrows pointing at a gem. It was green, glowy, and shiny. I thought it was an emerald, but I failed my earth sciences, so take it with a grain of salt. I assumed it was just a polished piece of cardboard since this theater could not even afford real plants, let alone an item that could be worth millions. I walked over to the gem, pulled it down, and fell straight to the floor.

The audience roared laughing. I frowned while repositioning myself to hold the gem more effectively.

“If this wasn’t important, and if I could, I would totally throw this gem at you guys!” I shouted, which made the audience laugh harder.

I heard someone in the audience yell, “Do it!” followed by a bunch of other snide remarks. I just rolled my eyes and continued on my way.

I struggled forward when I heard a “psst” ahead of me. I saw a polished, gold flag pole with a smiling person on it. Beside it was a trap door that had one of the backstage cats peeking its head out. It motioned me to come over and pointed to the pole. I hesitated, but complied. I shuffled my way there, but I tripped on a ridge. I fell with a thud and dropped the gem. It rolled away from me and the cat pulled it underneath the floorboards.

“Hey!” I yelled, running and standing in front of the trapdoor. I stamped my foot on the top, making the gem-stealer poke its head out from the trapdoor.

“That’s mine!” I yelled at the backstage worker. The cat glanced around then at my gem, pointing to it. “Yes, that!” I spat while crossing my arms. The cat just pointed to the golden flagpole then to the rest of the course. I reluctantly went over to the golden pole to humor it, haphazardly pushing the thing. A rainbow light flashed brightly behind it and a flag raised up. It also made a loud “whoop” sound, freaking me out. The cat below giggled and ducked down below stage. The audience was enjoying my arguing, so I faced them.

“Why are you laughing? I just got robbed! I worked hard for that!” The crowd erupted in obnoxious cackling. I growled and turned back to the cat. “I better get that back!” I called out to it, ”Or else!”

This time only a hand poked out with a thumbs up, and then a gesture to the course again. I looked ahead and continued with an uninterested frown.

I was once again halted, but this time, by a small cat. It was about the same height as me with its arms crossed and wore some sort of headset along with a pair of shades that covered its face. It looked like the most basic any of the cats here could look. I was unsure on how to approach this thing, but I decided to be a gentleman about it.

“Uh, hi?” I asked politely, slowly approaching the cat. I gave it a slight wave and the cat uncrossed its arms in the process. I heard some quiet snickers from some audience members. I blew a raspberry at them and turned to face the small cat again.
I was immediately greeted by a punch in the face. It was a hard punch, so strong that I got pushed back and hit my back against the wall. The audience had another uproar.

“Ow! Hey! Why did you do that?!” I barked at it, pushing myself off the wall.

The cat did not reply, but it did bring its fist to its sides. Before I knew what was going on, it charged at me. I screamed as it ran at me, but my reflexes kicked in just in time to sock the thing in the face. It hurt my hand, but that stunted it close to the water. My brows furrowed angrily and I pushed it violently. The cat stumbled back into the water behind it and flailed around before sinking into the watery abyss. My mind had never shifted from anger to fear so fast.

“Oh my goodness gracious! Did I just kill somebody?!” I cried while staring in horror at the water. The audience found this highly amusing. I turned towards the cats again, waving my arm to the grave of that cat.

“You’re all laughing?! Again?! What is your sense of humor?!” I fumed. I placed a hand on my face where I was punched and rubbed it slightly. Despite the possible lawsuit, I had to continue.

I walked over to the water that killed that cat. It was a dark blue and swished around like there was a strong current rolling under the surface. I dipped a finger in and quickly pulled it out. It was really cold and felt partially slimy. For someone who is a sailor, it is very ironic for them to have a fear of water. But, here I am, trying to scale some small pool with minimal swimming ability and no knowledge of the depth.

I took a deep breath. It only took two blocks. I could do this.

I walked back to see if I could get a running start. It was not a bad distance. I was sure I could build some good speed for this jump.

“Two blocks isn’t that big,” I whispered to myself. I bounced around a little bit to release the stress I was feeling, then I began to run. Unfortunately, the fear in me blocked my adrenaline and I skidded to a stop right at the water’s edge. I tipped over it, wildly swinging my arms back to get back on the wood.

“Nononono-” I stammered fearfully. I leaned back with everything I got at the last minute, falling on my butt. I exhaled dramatically, to which the crowd highly enjoyed. I was not too hurt by their laughs this time, because cats are also terrified of water and could never do these things. I felt like I had a leg up in this situation. But I still had to get across, and that water is not going to dry up in a reasonable time.

I quickly got back on my feet and traveled back to the wall. I was terrified, but I had to make it. I could make it. I inhaled, held it, and ran. I sprinted towards the water preparing for the jump. However, I forgot to pick up my feet, so at the last leg, my toes got caught on the wooded ridge. I gasped as I plummeted into the dark murky water. I struggled underwater for a bit, splashing above the surface to push myself out. Adrenaline helped me get my head out of the depths and frantically kick against the current. I clawed my way forward to the ledge, barely gripping onto the side and shakily forcing myself out of the water. I made it onto land. I felt ten times weaker after that.

I flopped on my side and just laid there. I wanted to rest.

“Cursed blocks. Who’s idea was it to add ridges? They should get fired,” I mumbled to myself while out of breath. I tried to steady my breathing, but it just made me more tired. I kept lying down on the uncomfortable floor with my eyes closed. The audience was starting to get impatient, and they began shouting at me.

“Get up!” one called out.

“Stop being a baby!” another yelled.

“No!” I retorted stubbornly, “I will not! I prefer to live, thank you very much!” I lazily raised an arm and dropped it five seconds later. I was not facing the audience anymore; they did not need to see me this way.

Suddenly, I heard a noise. “Exploding in a minute. Move your butt, please!” It was said in an oddly optimistic robotic voice.

Exploding? A minute!?

“What the- huh?” I panicked, pushing my chest off the floor.

“Make it to the next unactivated checkpoint to deactivate, please!” it responded. My eyes shot open as I scrambled to my feet. I desperately tried to find the source of the voice, only to feel the collar around my neck.

The cat’s words replayed in my head again.

‘Is blowin’ up no biggie?!’

“Hurry it up, now!” The voice continued in a 'motivating' manner.

Oh, yeah. Blowing up is a biggie.

I frantically looked around to find the nearest checkpoint. I could not see any new ones immediately. I looked up, knowing it was my only way out, and saw an opening through the ceiling of my current level.

Bingo.

I made haste, looking at the wall with another grip on my right. I jumped and pulled myself up. Anxiety from dying probably made this easier. I jogged over to the next part and hopped onto a black metallic block with a glowing red button in the middle. I skipped across until I got to the other wall. I placed a hand on the wall, looking up to see some blocks formed like clouds? No time to question that; I had to not die first. I bent down and jumped up, trying to reach for the block. To no surprise, my hand slipped through the cloud and I fell forward. I felt a click under my foot along with a quiet beep. I froze. The block below me shuttered, then exploded. I was shot up slightly, reaching out for the other blocks in the line. Only, they exploded too.
I gasped as I tried to back track. I sprang forward trying to reach the left wall as all the metallic explosive blocks evaporated from under me. I almost had a grip on the wall, but the weight of my fall yanked me down, and I plummeted to the stage floor. I quickly flipped over feet first to feel hot steam emitting from the floor. The blocks looked like magma with some larger rocks preventing whoever from completely burning to death.

I held my breath, bracing for the heat.

The second I touched the sizzling floor, I screamed and jumped in response. There must have been some trampoline magic in there because I got launched way higher then I fell. I flew through some sort of cloud, hit my head on something hard, and landed on my stomach. The hard object seemed to follow my gravity too since it fell from its place of hanging right on my back. I grunted in pain.

The audience was very amused by this.

I tried to push myself up, but the thing on my back was very heavy. Almost as much as the gem I previously obtained. It must have been a gem then. I frowned having the extra weight on my back. I held the rock on my back piggy-back style and shuffled towards the edge of the clouds. The jump was not that far, but having that giant green gem on my back was not going to make it easy.

“Fifteen seconds, please quicken your pace!” The digital voice from my collar chimed out. I squeaked and jumped without thinking. I landed on my feet, although shaky. I quickened my pace to get over the next jump, only to be halted by a wall. On the wall lay some sort of portal. It was a shining blue and glowed. I carried my gem protectively on my back and walked over. It made a whittling sound that only got louder the longer I stood next to it. How did the cats get this technology? How did they get the clouds? How-?

“Five seconds!”

“No!” I shouted, plunging right into the swirling vortex. I held the gem with my arms and felt my body spin a ton. I popped out the other end of the portal face first. My legs flew over my head and the gem launched from my back. I winced as I tucked myself into a ball, bracing to explode.

“3…2…1…” it said. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Yay! You made it. Unself-destructing now!” The collar called out and the beeping stopped.

I got up and did a jig. The audience snickered and I rolled my eyes.

“Laugh all you want, but I didn’t die! Wooh! I got all four of my limbs and my gem!” I looked beside me and my gemstone was gone. I panicked. “My gem! Who took it?!” I then noticed another flag pole. The same cat was under it and was pointing to my second gem. “You Gem-stealer! Whatever.” I gave a thumbs up to the howling crowd and the backstage cat. I continued but forgot to activate the pole.

I came across another patch of water. Three blocks. No biggie. I used a running start and pulled through. I just need a moment to compose myself. I got up. Another magma block. I looked up. Cloud blocks. I prayed that my feet wouldn’t melt and jumped. It hurt and I flew on a cloud block. I saw in front of me an red portal of sorts and another gem. The portal reminded me of the blue one I saw a while back.

I jumped over and found the exit! It wasn’t activated though. I looked around it and saw some symbols on its side. There were three gem outlines, two were green and one was red. I assumed those were the gems I needed to leave.

‘Sets of three will set you free.’

That announcer’s voice played in my head. It clicked and I glanced to the right of me and saw the gem, above a pond. I groaned and carefully hoped over. I stumbled a bit but got the gem. My excitement got hold of me and I jumped around.

“Yipee! I got the last gem! Finally!” I yelled. My celebration didn’t last long because I misplaced my foot. Suddenly, I slipped. Gem in arms, I fell into the water. The current swirled around me, the slimy-ness of the water coating my skin as I flailed. I was only using one hand, the other occupied with clutching my gem. My small arms clearly weren't strong enough because I could barely keep my head up.

I couldn’t swim out because of the blocks surrounding me. The strong flow of water overtook me and pulled me down. My eyes fluttered close as I felt my lungs giving out. I guess this was my last performance.

I gasped and opened my eyes. As I panted, glad to get oxygen back in my system, I felt my body. Not dead! I still felt damp, but it seemed to have all been reversed. Sorta. I looked at my surroundings and noticed I was at the first flag pole. I got up and audibly yelled. “What?! What happened?! Why am I back here?! And where is my gem!?”

The cats chuckled at my mistake. I was sick of it.

“Oh shut up!” I grumbled and trudged my way back to the exit.

After close calls with water, activating a pole this time, and two more foot burns, I made it back to the exit. The gem I grabbed was still there too. I learned from my mistake; don’t celebrate until you leave the level. I once again grabbed the gem, held in my joy, and reluctantly handed my gem to that gem cat. The second I gave it my gem, the portal turned a bright green, the same color as the gems. I stepped on the exit and I couldn’t help but scream.

“WHOOOOO! In your face, cats!” I announced excitedly, sticking both my arms in the air. Through the bright lights, the world began to warp much like the blue portals from before, except this time it sent me backstage.

It took me a second to see everything clearly, but my happiness was quickly stripped away when I saw I was sent to another cage. These things really viewed us as animals, huh? Luckily, it was bigger and I could actually kinda move around. I let out a sigh, but I was not as angry this time. Instead, I was proud of myself. I survived, and if these ‘acts’ are supposed to kill you, then they need to step it up. Not like I want to die, just some constructive criticism. I did a little powerfist to myself. I then heard a fairly loud “ahem” from behind me.

I turned around to see a cat in a much fancier suit than the security guards that roamed the prison. It had a spotted bow tie combined with a rose on its left side. Its nametag was also visible to me, reading the name “Otis.” I guess this cat was a guy. I approached where he was and placed my hands on the metal bars. I tilted my head in confusion, but he just smiled at me.

“Uh,” I began, “Can I help you?” I stared at the orange feline for a bit. He had very nice fur to match the outfit with a beige face and some dark swirls on his cheeks. The cat blinked, then he nodded and handed me a piece of paper to examine.

\

“A fitting medal for your less than amazing performance,” Otis responded, clapping slightly, “It was highly amusing.”

I raised a brow to him before looking down to read the paper. At the top there was a box that said “Performer 10146”. There were also five small boxes and a large box on the original paper with three stamps filling in each small square. It had three green gem stamps, but there were two boxes with no stamps. One had a clock on it, the other a yarn ball. The biggest box at the bottom had a badge with ‘B’ written on it surrounded by a red circle.

I stared, then changed my expression to annoyed confusion. “Did-” I asked, “Did you just grade me on how well I did?”

“Yes, it’s my job.”

I was just standing there, not satisfied with my answer. “I- Why am I being graded for this?” I complained, shaking the paper slightly, “I thought you just had to survive?”
“Nope. There’s no fun in that. Besides, I doubt you could do any better,” he replied snidely.

“What?” I questioned, frowning at the orange feline. No way this cat I just met was calling me a loser.

“Try to be faster and use your eyes more,” he remarked, turning on his heel to make his leave, “Also, don’t drown as much. It gets old.”

He gave me a toothy grin before ripping the paper from my hands and walking away. As he left, he chuckled to himself and said something I could not hear clearly. Probably another snarky remark.

I just stood there in astonishment. Then I began to get furious. Who does that guy think he is, grading me on my near-death experiences?! I thought with resentment, I bet he couldn’t even do these courses with all nine lives! I’ll show him what I can do-

“Performer 10146,” a voice from behind me said. It grabbed my shoulder, and I quickly spun around.

“WHAT DO YOU-oh,” I stated, my voice dying down the second I saw its impatient expression. I attempted to deescalate the situation by smiling while responding, “Wh- uh- what would you like me to do?”

The cat’s eyes narrowed and me, then it tilted its chin up while maintaining contact. “Get ready for Scene Two. You’re on in ten,” the feline said casually before tuning to direct some other cats carrying some boxes. My jaw dropped.

Scene Two?! May the world have mercy on me.