Chapter Text
Kazuha thought that his life couldn’t be better, that whatever he has now is perfect, flawless. Never has he regretted marrying Heizou, even if they weren’t perfect, they made up for each other as a whole. Many were jealous of him, envious, and praised him for finding such a nice omega like Heizou even when he himself is a beta, he is one in a million. Heizou sure is like that, extraordinary, full of surprises, even in the wrong ways...
Just how long could he keep his secret? Even fools know that secrets don’t last, Heizou certainly understood that. But if he were to be honest, to be truthful, he’ll lose everything, whether the simplest form of happiness for him—staying right beside Kazuha. A risk, but it was inevitable. The day will come, just sooner or later. It was...a matter of time.
I’ll cherish those days, make tender memories with you before karma hits me hard in the head, till I bleed, till I lose all consciousness, memories, till everything was lost except my love for you, which will be lost too when I finally fade away into nothing but a forgotten nightmare that was once a sweet dream.
____________
Kazuha was bored, oh, very bored alright. He doesn’t feel like writing another haiku after his tenth one for the day, he’s out of creative juices anyways. Beidou and the Crux Fleet members are probably somewhere in Liyue now, definitely had better things to do unlike him. He promised Heizou that he’ll stay for a month just for his heat, after venturing and wandering outside Inazuma for half a year now, even if his husband didn’t insist that he should come home, he would, he felt obliged to.
It’s not weird when guilt ate its way to his heart when he spent more time with the Crux Fleet members than his own omega, he’s used to it. Heizou doesn’t mind, at least it seems like he doesn’t, but even Kazuha knows that seeing himself leave will never hurt the omega less.
“As long as you’re happy,” Kazuha knows that relationships go both ways, it’s not about giving and sacrificing everything for the other... It’s about giving and receiving, using what you received to make a better future, together.
Since Kazuha was so bored, why not ask Heizou if he could go through already solved crime cases? The files were detailed with every evidence, suspects and thoroughly written story. It was almost as exciting as solving one himself, supposed that would keep him occupied for a while when Heizou's busy working.
He left Heizou's office, leaving his lover to tend to his own duties. Kazuha led himself into the storage room, all files locked and secured inside. Sara allowed him to have a look, as long as he puts them back to their original position, she trusted him enough anyways.
Pulling out a file, he checked the title, something three years ago. Opening the file, he somewhat remembered Heizou rambling about the case to him. If his memory serves him right, he did provide insight on it. Eyes scanning through the provided evidence, refreshing his memory. He did remember some sticky notes regarding the exact case sticking somewhere on his fridge before.
Kazuha can't help but smile, solving cases with Heizou sometimes feels even better than one of their cuddling sessions.
With the fuzzy thought, he closed the file and placed it back, fishing out another case, this time from another shelf. He picked one that dates way back before he and Heizou were a thing. He’d rather look at new stuff that doesn't potentially have spoilers from his memory.
Opening the file, he seemed quite weirded out by the small amount of evidence. Hmm? He flipped to the last page; the case was concluded as a suicide case. Eyeing the details, the picture provided of the victim, it felt familiar. He felt as if he had seen the girl somewhere before. The first few pages were clipped with pictures. The rope marks on her neck, the notes written beside suggests that she hung herself.
Though as Kazuha inspected the picture closer, he saw that the marks were rope marks, but there was a darker line in the rope mark, thin, odd. It wasn't very visible, but if you look closer you can see it. What could've caused that?
A fishing line? Seems like it, but it's quite impossible that someone can hang themselves with a fishing line. Rope with a fishing line?
Kazuha's eyes moved to the next picture, the marks on her wrist, the other picture showed that the body was found hanging and bound by the wrists. The description says that she bound her own hands to prevent herself from struggling and going back. The knot shown... The other picture shows a flipped otogi wood stool, seemingly new...
Why would anyone buy new furniture when they know they're going to die? Unless it was a gift?
Kazuha scratched his head, the more he looked, the more he doubt it was anything like a suicide case. Maybe he'll ask Heizou about it, judging by how his husband's name was imprinted on the file's investigator section. Below Heizou's name was Kujou Sara's approval stamp, did she go through this?
Kazuha doesn't want to doubt Heizou, even if it's a less mature Heizou that he'd never met. His skills, he bet he had those skills even before they knew each other.
He closed the file, even if it wasn't a suicide case, there was no way he could trace back so many years to find the culprit. Kazuha placed it back, leaving it to poke out apart from other files so he can find it later. With that, Kazuha pulled out another file, flipping to the end, another suicide case? What is it with people committing suicide those days?
He opened the file, another contradictory evidence that somewhat suggests murder instead of suicide.
Investigator: Shikanoin Heizou
Approved by: Kujou Sara
It made Kazuha scratch his head even more. Just as he was about to close the file, the door cracked open to reveal Heizou peeking inside. The detective's eyes immediately traced its way towards the contents of the file. Kazuha didn't know if he was imagining it or if Heizou's eyes subconsciously widened a little before returning to normal in a blink of an eye.
"Having fun?" Heizou smiled, leading himself inside. He crouched down beside Kazuha who was sitting down on the floor, legs crossed. Heizou leaned in for a messy kiss, his hands closing the file and putting it back onto the shelf as his tongue continued to pleasure his husband. Cupping the samurai's cheek, Heizou smiled, pecking him on the lips once again as he pushed the previous poked out file back to its place. Kazuha almost wanted to object but Heizou had his lips on his again, sinking himself into Kazuha's lap as he wrapped his hands around the samurai.
Perhaps he was just overthinking, what past has past, he should let go, shouldn't he?
Kazuha finally kissed him back, prying his mouth open in an attempt for his revenge. His tongue curled in Heizou's mouth, which made him squirm. Kazuha chuckled, pulling away from Heizou's almost lust-driven face, half-lidded eyes staring at him with so much love.
"Not the best place for this," Kazuha commented as he hosted himself up along with his husband in his arms. Heizou pouted, almost glaring at his husband for not warning him before doing that little stunt of his. Kazuha knew what he meant.
"Finished your paperwork?" Kazuha looked at him, Heizou's hands still wrapped around his neck along with his legs around his waist. The detective hummed, burying his face into the other's neck, as if Kazuha actually had a scent gland like alphas do.
"Alright, get down, I don't want you complaining when people say too much," Kazuha let him down from his arms, grabbing his hand.
He led them outside and waved Sara goodbye before heading home. The suicide file cases pushed to the back of his mind. He glanced over at his husband, fingers intertwined with his. He noticed a tint of red below Heizou's twin moles, as if even the simplest things like holding hands with his husband could fluster him to the point of no return. Kazuha let out a small laugh, which earned him a skeptical look from the other.
“What's so funny?" Heizou pouted, unamused as he crossed his arms.
"You're blushing," Kazuha pointed out, squeezing his hand. "It's cute to watch."
Heizou's cheeks turned even redder, unable to say a word, he turned away. Kazuha smiled, it's how Heizou gets flustered around him that he knows his omega still has feelings for him. A sign of love. He sighed. Cute.
Kazuha unlocked the door to their house, Heizou immediately ran in and planted himself on the couch. Kazuha chuckled and closed the door, joining him amongst the pillows. The redhead let out a yawn, stretching his limbs, sighing.
"Tired?" Kazuha asked.
"Very," Heizou mumbled incoherently, getting himself comfortable as he rested his head on Kazuha's lap. It wasn't long before he drifted into slumber, looking so peaceful. Kazuha felt his legs going numb at the weight, but he dared not move, not when Heizou was literally holding onto the fabric of his haori, as if Kazuha would be gone if he let go.
"I thought I told you to stop overworking yourself...?" Kazuha mumbled, combing his velvet locks, it was apparent to him that Heizou couldn't hear him, but it didn't matter. Heizou squirmed beneath him, hands slowly letting go.
Kazuha lifted a brow; his omega continued to twist and turn in his sleep. Well, that's strange, is he having a nightmare?
"Zou?" Kazuha called, noticing the sweat building on top of the omega's forehead. Heizou was becoming unbearably warm, like heat was radiating off him like a literal heater. His brows furrowed, knitted together as he let out soft whimpers in his sleep.
"Heizou..." Perhaps it finally got to him, he shook the redhead gently, hoping it was enough to wake him. But Kazuha doesn't understand, Heizou should be going in heat two weeks later, certainly not today. Even if it was today, didn't the omega feel those cramps that came with his preheat a few days prior as a forewarning?
Those soft green eyes stared at him, blinking slowly. Archons above, Kazuha want and will melt at the spot if Heizou keeps staring at him, face flushed red with those lovesick eyes.
"Am I...?"
"Yes, you are, I don't know why but you are," Kazuha lifted him up, "let's move to the bedroom, shall we?"
Heizou looked at him, an odd look in his eyes, pleading for something. Kazuha blinked, then he remembered, "as long as you clean them afterwards." He can't help but laugh internally at the omega's way of asking for permission to borrow his clothes. Cute, almost too cute.
"Here, I'll be right back, okay?" Kazuha placed him onto the mattress. Heizou stared at him, no reply except for the look in his eyes that was pleading his husband to stay. "I'll be back after I change, meanwhile you can do that thing of yours with my clothes."
Heizou almost looked disappointed, but he let go of Kazuha's hand anyways. Kazuha can't help but sighed, Heizou's omega side is so needy, adorable and submissive to the point no alpha could resist, even a beta like Kazuha could almost feel his magnetic power. It's a headache sometimes to deal with a Heizou in heat. He scurried away to change his clothes before Heizou changed his mind and didn't let him go anymore.
Kazuha came back into the master bedroom minutes later in his bathrobe, only to find his omega nesting in a big pile of clothes, face flushed and curled up. Heizou was hugging one of his maples patterned haori to his chest, stuffing his face in it. The accessories that he usually wore around his waist that attached to his belt now lay across the dresser, leaving the omega in his white top and shorts.
Heizou immediately shot up, as if he could sense Kazuha's presence in the room, he probably can. His eyes never stopped pleading, bringing his knees up to his chest as he stared at the blonde with anticipation. Kazuha led himself onto the bed, the mattress sinking a little as he sat beside his omega, who immediately leaped into his lap, snuggling his face into the crook of his neck as if there were pheromones there.
Archons, if Heizou was this needy in heat, how’d he handle it when Kazuha wasn’t there?
The older male didn’t even have time to continue the thought before the redhead was free from his own clothes, naked and presenting himself. Hands securing the back of his knee as he sat, tipping towards the back to expose the most intimate parts of him. Heat rose up Kazuha’s cheeks, Heizou was sexy and submissive just like that. A small whimper from the omega snapped him out of his daydream, as if urging him on.
Just when Kazuha came close enough, their faces almost touching, Heizou pressed the back of his head to make their lips lock. After they indulge in that messy kiss, the omega proceeds to grab hold of the blonde’s shoulders, pulling him closer with half-lidded eyes. Arching his back he whispered into the taller male’s ears, “breed me, please...”
And that just had sent Kazuha over his limit, he was no alpha, yet hearing his omega’s desires, who was he to reject? The corner of Heizou’s lips curled into a smile, his plan was coming into action, his husband however...
He doesn’t have to know about it, does he?
____________
It was the seventh day he was sick and stuck in bed already, perhaps it sucked, perhaps it didn't when he sort of knew that it would happen. Even if Madam Kujou wasn’t fond of the idea of him getting medical leave after his absence at work for the last week. Heizou wasn’t sure if his plan did succeed—if Kazuha successfully impregnated him or not. But all signs he was showing did provide some insight towards the particular matter, it’s just that... Do average pregnant omegas tend to suffer nausea to the point where they practically go so weak they can’t walk from the bed to the bathroom? Perhaps not, but this was the case for him.
Maybe he’s just seriously sick, nothing linked to suggested pregnancy. He hoped so, because he can feel his body getting weaker and it isn’t good.
“Zou?” Kazuha's voice came from the living room. He's back from grocery shopping, Heizou thinks. It wasn’t long before he heard shuffling coming from the kitchen and the loud opening of said makeshift fridge that was practically a crate infused with Ayaka’s cryo (thank Thoma for that.) Then his husband was beside their bed in no time, looking at him with those worried eyes again. That look, Heizou hated seeing it, he hated being worried about, being pitied.
“I brought some Fried Lavender Melons from Shinobu, you should eat, at least a bit,” Kazuha handed the plate to him, hoping the omega would actually eat it instead of going all day without food again.
It’s not that Heizou doesn’t want to eat, it’s the fact that his stomach just doesn’t want it. He’s hungry but with no appetite whatsoever. The smell of fried food would usually send him into peak mood, but now it just smells as nauseating as the food at the police station. He shook his head gently at the plate, slowly pushing it away from himself.
“Heizou...” Kazuha warned, placing the plate on his lap again. The redhead simply looked at him with troubled eyes, he knows if he tries it he’ll surely throw it all up. The thought of his husband having to clean up his mess again made him frown.
The blonde sighed, taking the plate away, Heizou seemed delighted. “I’m going to feed you, alright? I’m not taking no as an answer,” those red eyes seemed like they’ve turned stern.
If only Heizou wasn’t sick, or stuck up with this stupid nausea, he’ll actually look forward to being fed by Kazuha himself. But now it just seems like a nightmare to him. Before he could even object to the idea, the other had already ready his chopsticks and picked up one piece of the fried melons. The chopsticks came closer to his mouth, urging him to open and accept it.
“No—” Maybe the perfect timing was indeed the time Heizou tried to speak, you can’t really speak with your mouth closed, can you? The taste of it somehow was what he remembered, the same way Shinobu used to season her fried delicacies. He tried to chew it properly, but the way his throat was rejecting the bile didn’t make it any easier for him. He finally managed to swallow it down without trying to puke everything out.
“That’s...kinda hardcore, but we’re getting somewhere,” Kazuha kissed him on the cheek, as if it were some kind of reward. It was indeed...rewarding alright. Heizou’s eyes widened as the other tried to send another piece into his mouth, he shook his head vigorously. Once may be okay but twice or the third time he might actually waste his previous efforts.
“Heizou I need you to eat, please,” Kazuha pleaded, “you’re not going to get better if you continue to skip meals like that.”
What if I told you we’re going to be like this for a couple of months?
Heizou shook his head slowly, frowning. He wanted to get pregnant with Kazuha’s child, but not like this... The way his stomach rumbles in hunger yet rejects all food is ridiculous, it’s torturing to the point he wants to cry.
“If you don’t want to eat this, fine, at least tell me what you want to eat?” Kazuha looked at him, grabbing both of his hands, the blonde realized the other’s hands felt oddly cold. Now that Heizou thought about it, he can’t think of anything that spikes his appetite. “I...don’t know...” He really doesn’t, everything just feels inedible at this point.
“How about soup? Surely drinking feels better than eating?” The blonde looked at him, even though he was trying so hard to hide it, Heizou could sense his impatience.
“Okay...” Perhaps he could force it down in one go? Sounds like a bad idea but judging by the expression Kazuha was giving him, he rather not risk angering his husband. The other sighed and left the room, probably to prepare said soup.
Heizou stared blankly at the now wide open door, where Kazuha had previously disappeared from. He began to wonder if all of this was even a good idea. Yeah right, no matter how many times Shinobu would scold him for acting before he thinks, old habits just die hard, especially when he thinks that most of the time his intuition is correct and that his subconscious won’t fail him. But that day, it was too close, the moment his eyes met the sight of that cursed file in Kazuha’s hands...
He doesn’t want to see it again, he’s been through so much trying to forget, move on and change for the better. So why now... He groaned, pulling the covers over his head. He’s done it again, the toxic, controlling, manipulative side of him, it’s showing like the dead body resurfacing from the river after being abandoned for days. It’s disgusting, yet he couldn’t help it.
He remembered, oh how disgustingly well he remembered it. That girl, the one he had so skilfully murdered and covered up the truth. He’s too smart, sometimes he wonders if it’s a good or bad thing. Funny, he’s smart enough to kill, lie, manipulate, you name it, yet he couldn’t understand how to not love Kazuha in this toxic way. He doesn’t know how, doesn’t know why, he shouldn’t feel relieved when blood finally stains his hands, shouldn’t have felt nothing when life leaves his victims’ eyes.
Honestly, it’s not that he doesn’t have guilt, he feels guilty, but for the wrong reasons. He feels guilty, when Kazuha has to love someone like him, to be lied to all the time. He doesn’t feel anything for those that had sacrificed, nothing for those who had their lives ended in his hands. It’s ironic, unexplainable. He wishes that he could love ‘normally’, just because Kazuha likes it that way, not because he thinks he should. But the truth is, he couldn’t, he never could. He can only disguise himself.
And now he panics over the fact Kazuha might find out the real him, the true him— the monster he desperately hides so he wouldn’t hurt his beloved. That is just a lie, sure, he loves Kazuha, he truly does, but he is one selfish boy. He wants Kazuha to never leave his side, be his forever. It is his way of loving, his definition of love.
“What are you thinking so hard about now?” Kazuha’s voice pulled him back to reality, blinking Heizou glanced at the bowl of soup on his bedside table. “It’s getting cold, eat it while it’s hot,” the blonde brought the bowl into his hands, handing him the spoon.
Well honestly, it still smells as unappetizing as anything literally. Not that Heizou wants to doubt his husband’s cooking skills, it’ll probably smell almost as good as fried food if he wasn’t in this stupid condition. Kazuha was still in the room, looking at him, right, he probably won’t leave until he sees him finish the bowl.
Heizou picked up the spoon, scooping up a spoonful of soup, snapping his eyes shut and sending it down his throat. It doesn’t taste good, but it feels warm, heat pooling at the back of his throat. He brought the edge of the bowl to his mouth, hands trembling, he doesn’t know why, he isn’t anxious or nervous. But his arms felt weak, holding the bowl felt tiring even.
“You’re going to spill it at this point,” Kazuha helped him secured the bowl with one of his hands, “this is exactly what I meant when I say you’re sooner going to faint if you don’t eat anything,” he continued to ramble as Heizou carefully drinks the soup. Sometimes Kazuha reminds him awfully of his long deceased mother, the way he nags at him feels no different than how his mother does it.
It wasn’t long until the bowl was finally empty, Heizou glanced at Kazuha, he doesn’t know why, but every time he does something right he hopes for praise or just approval. It’s bad, he knows it, but he can’t help it either.
“See, it isn’t that hard right?” Kazuha took the bowl from him and kissed him on the cheek.
“Suppose...” Heizou tried to speak, but it came out as a weak groan. Kazuha blinked and glanced at him, furrowing his brows, he said: “rest, I’ll finish the rest of the documents for you.”
To be honest, Heizou had almost forgotten about his work, he’s so tangled up and stressed about whether or not he’s actually pregnant, he had forgotten how much of a monster his boss was when she’s mad. Which proves another point about him not thinking before doing shit, well shit . What will happen to their income if he wasn’t able to work during his pregnancy? He doesn’t want to think about it, it just makes his head hurt.
If so far all this sickness was actually due to him developing the baby in his womb, he was about 70 percent sure he probably won’t be able to work, at least not as an on-field detective. He hadn’t thought about that, or maybe he had. Perhaps to him securing Kazuha’s position in his life was more important than the possibility of both of them dying from hunger. Perhaps.
But they won’t, even if Heizou can’t work, would they? Judging by how loyal and loving his Kazuha is, they probably won’t, if it comes to that extent, he trusts that Kazuha would be smart enough to take on the Adventurer's Guild’s commissions to earn them extra Mora. Kazuha would probably be tied down to Inazuma for a while, he’s not going to be able to leave for trips with the Crux Fleet, Heizou thought. Kazuha might be in a bad mood if he doesn’t travel from time to time, but all the redheaded omega could think about his husband staying in Inazuma with him throughout his pregnancy.
“Seriously Heizou, gotta quit the creepy smile if you still want friends,” Shinobu said, looking at him with an unamused look from the end of his bed. Her appearance almost made the redhead flinch in surprise.
“How long were you there and how did you get in?” Heizou asked.
“Long enough to see you smiling like an idiot while daydreaming. As for your second question, Kazuha let me in just now, and said that you need a temporary babysitter so you don’t do dumb shit while he’s busy,” she huffed, crossing her arms.
Heizou’s cheeks almost went red in embarrassment, Kazuha did what now? He’s sick, not sick in the head! Okay, maybe he is a little sick in the head but still…!
“Don’t give me that look now, I haven’t even asked you what made you smile like that,” she said, pointing out the pouty expression on the other’s face. Heizou was about to open his mouth to explain his rather questionable expressions right before, but Shinobu cut him off.
“Never mind, I don’t even want to hear it.”
There was a brief moment of silence before Shinobu spoke again. “So, what made you sick again? As far as I remember the o’ great cyclone Kaedahara Heizou doesn’t get sick no matter what,” she was clearly trying to tease him. The mention of Kazuha’s family name in front of his own name still makes him all fuzzy on the inside, Shinobu knows that more than anyone else.
“I–" Heizou wasn't even sure what to tell Shinobu, could he really tell her about his possible pregnancy? The worst case scenario would be that the word gets out from Shinobu's mouth to Kazuha and Kazuha tells him to get rid of the baby. He doesn't want that, no, his plan would be of nothing. But seriously, if he were to be honest, the first and the latter sounds very out of character for either his best friend or his husband.
"Teyvat to Heizou? Gosh, you've been zoning out a lot lately," Shinobu grumbled, she clearly wasn't happy about the way the redhead's mind wandered somewhere else while in the midst of a conversation.
"Sorry," he muttered an apology.
"You haven't even answered my question," she said.
"Well, I–"
"You what?" Shinobu raised a brow, that is, until–
"Shinobu, stop pestering him about it, we're not sure what's going on either," Kazuha came in, possibly saving a very conflicted Heizou's life from his all so prying best friend. Archons above, Heizou never thought Kazuha could be sexier.
"He could've told me he doesn't know," she huffed.
"Have you ever heard of decent people with morals picking a fight with sick people that are stuck in bed?" Kazuha tipped his head. Shinobu opened her mouth to protest but nothing came.
"Exactly," the blonde said.
At this point Heizou won't even reject Kazuha's idea of cooking fish every day for a month, if he can actually get up and cook, that is. But for now, it just feels like he's going for the worse. It felt quite nice at first when he finished the soup Kazuha made him, the warmth pooling in his stomach does soothe him quite a bit. But after a while it was starting to get uncomfortable, as if pain was stretching its way in his abdomen, he felt unbearably dizzy at the same time.
Definitely not something that will happen after drinking a bowl of soup. He doesn't feel too good.
"Actually, I don't know if you can sense it but…" Shinobu started talking to Kazuha. Heizou couldn't hear them very well with the constant ringing in his ears that was getting louder and louder. His vision was reduced into a blur, his loved ones turning into blobs of blonde and lime in front of his eyes.
His head was hurting, spinning, too loud. Like the sirens were blaring in his brain and his cranium was squeezing the sides of his head. Kazuha…
Kazuha… make it stop, please…
Help me…
He found himself weak, too weak to even lift his hand or open his mouth to spill a word. Not even one. His fingers are hardly lifting, he wants to warn Kazuha, tell him but he couldn't. Not before everything fades into abyssal darkness…
"How are you so sure?"
"I'm an alpha Kazuha, I know it."
____________
"Why exactly are you asking this?" Beidou looked at the samurai all funny, she was resting on one of the wine crates. Kazuha knows, those are delivered from Monstadt, none other than the infamous Dawn Winery.
"Well I was just curious," Kazuha shrugged, hoping she didn't notice his stressed tone.
Beidou looked at him for a brief moment, before she let out a short laugh, abruptly turning serious, "you're fooling nobody, young man."
Perhaps the captain was right, he was indeed fooling nobody but making a fool of himself. He scratched the back of his neck, ignoring the little imagination of Heizou telling him that by scratching the back of his neck he had just given himself away.
"Wait a second, you didn't…" Beidou sighed, "please tell me you didn't."
"I probably did."
"Well shit," she cursed, looking at the slowly setting sun from the dock of Ritou. "I'm not even sure, Kazuha, I've never heard of anything like that. For all I know, it might be a blessing, or it could be a curse," she said, not even looking at him as she downed the last drop of wine from the bottle in her hand.
"So I fucked up?" Kazuha asked.
Beidou blinked before looking at him, a slightly surprised look on her face. "I've known you for hundreds of years kid, can't say I've heard that kind of language from you," she chuckled, slamming the empty wine bottle on the ground.
"Put that aside, I really dunno, 'zuha," it doesn't sound promising at all. "But if I were you, I wouldn't find this old woman that only knows how to stand in the sea breeze and drink wine, maybe Lady Ningguang would be a better candidate?"
He supposed so, perhaps only Ningguang has answers, or maybe she doesn't even have any.
It's worth a try.
"I suppose," Kazuha replied, a bit down.
"She is, now stop giving me that salty attitude, it's making me sick. You want some?" Beidou asked, pulling out a brand new bottle of Death After Noon.
Normally Kazuha would be glad to sit down and drink with her in return for her guidance or anything similar, but today he doesn't feel like it.
"Sorry, I'm not in the mood. Plus, Heizou is gonna kill me if he finds out I've been out drinking again," Kazuha swore he felt a frown forming on his senior's face. But Kazuha wasn't lying, Heizou really doesn't like it when he drinks, not that he likes anything that has to do with drinking in particular. He'll allow Kazuha at times, but if he goes home drunk today, Heizou isn't in shape to take care of his drunk self anyway.
"Understandable," Beidou cracked open the cork, throwing it aside as she poured some into her wine plate.
"When does the Crux Fleet board for Liyue? I might need a favor," Kazuha looked at her, switching his gaze to the sunset. Inazuma will always feel like home to him, no matter how long has passed, no matter how many bad memories he had here, there will always be good ones above all.
"You need not say more, you're always welcome on board, we're boarding this Saturday," she said, downing the wine before pouring herself another.
"Thank you," he said, standing up as he felt the autumn wind blowing his hair. It was exactly like this, exactly how the autumn wind had graced him before his death a hundred years ago. It still feels the same, it just doesn't feel as cold as the time he was still in human flesh. He sucked in a breath, enjoying the subtle coolness in the wind.
"Sometimes I really don't understand you," Beidou suddenly said.
"Hm?" Kazuha hummed, eyes still focused on the scenery. One more hour the sun shall set into the sea, down the horizon.
"Hundred years ago you were blessed with the love of an immortal heart, yet you reject it, saying that you're never born to love…" she mumbled, looking at him. Kazuha knows exactly where this was going, who she was referring to.
"Kunikuzushi is the ender of the Kaedahara line, yet you refer to his proposal to me as 'love' and a 'blessing', how does that make any sense?"
"You say his proposal is irrational and cruel to ask of you, yet you pursue a path on pulling the strings of the human heart, devouring their blood made of pure love, how is that any different?"
"I– I thought we were said to never speak of this again," he bit his lip.
"I'm afraid we must, if you wish that Heizou would live," her words never felt so heavy on Kazuha's shoulders, not in those hundred years they'd known each other.
"I'm heading home," Kazuha announced, the moon will soon rise, someone is still waiting for his return. He doesn't want to continue this conversation either. He packed his stuff, slid his sword back into the shaft as he turned away from the dock of Ritou.
"Maybe there is some truth in Heizou's wisdom after all," he heard Beidou's voice from behind, it made him halt in his tracks for a while but not for long. He continued to walk away, but he could still hear her with his sensitive hearing. "The truth will always be found, nothing can be hidden forever. He is right, isn't he?"
He swore he could hear her light chuckles even after leaving the dock. Beidou knew that he could hear her, she did it on purpose.
"Ugh," he groaned and led himself home, all that thinking could wait until the night, where people are asleep and no one can hear.
____________
It was already 6 when Kazuha reached home, having been tied back by a few friendly faces greeting him on his way home. He can smile and excuse himself, most of them are Heizou's friends after all, he wanted a good impression, as he believes most of them will be willing to kill him if he ever dares mistreat his husband.
Heizou sure is an expert at socializing and making trustworthy acquaintances.
Kazuha smiled at that, his partner is just that perfect. He slipped into their living room from the front door quietly, just in case the other was asleep. No sign of movement in the kitchen or living room, Heizou must be still in bed. Probably still asleep, judging by how his ears caught the redhead's soft breathing in the wind.
He hummed softly as he sat on bed, the mattress slightly dipping in from his weight, hopefully not enough to wake the other. Kazuha sighed, if Shinobu was right and Beidou was not actually being a bitch about it (Kazuha thinks she kinda is being a bitch about it), then his secret might have to be known.
Even if he was cruel enough to tell Heizou to abort the baby in his womb, there's probably a risk of his omega passing away from a failed abortion. He doesn't want that, even if he knows Heizou will only be part of his immortal life for so long, lessening the already little amount of time doesn't make their parting easier. He doesn't even want to imagine Heizou died knowing him as a cruel mate.
If he actually lets Heizou keep the child, carry it to full term and give birth… Archons, he doesn't want to think about it. A human carrying a half-vampire's child? Beidou clearly said that there's risks, as far as his senior had lived, three hundred years or so, she had never seen a human who had a vampire's child. Not even one, what are the chances?
If he actually decided to let on his identity as a supernatural being to Heizou, will he even accept him? Would Heizou run away and hide from him?
For all he knows, Heizou is currently suffering from unknowingly carrying a vampire's child. Which explains pretty much why his body has been rejecting human food, but it still doesn't make sense. Kazuha isn't a full vampire, he's still partly human, even though blood technically tastes better than anything else, he can consume human food without complications. Maybe it's because I have adapted to eating human food so much that I don't need blood to survive.
He hasn't had a taste of blood for a long time, his senses aren't as sensitive to the smell of the crimson beverage ever since he had fallen in love with Heizou. Does this miracle of a child just have to fully inherit his vampire side? Ridiculous. Outright unbelievable.
If his theory was indeed reality… Gosh, he wants to bang his head on the wall. He must tell Heizou, for the sake of the both of them, he must.
But how ?
He stared at the redhead's sleeping form, gaze landing on Heizou's stomach. His breathing stiffened as he moved closer. The redhead turned in his sleep, flipping onto his back before continuing his soft snores. Kazuha carefully placed his hand on his husband's abdomen, he was thinking, wondering if there was actually life blossoming inside Heizou right now.
"I could literally smell it, as an alpha, his pheromones are oddly sweetened. His scent is still visible to everyone without an alpha's mark, that I told you before, I swore I would protect him for you if you're not there, I know. The change in his scent, it's not subtle at all, not when sakura literally smells like sweet honey," Shinobu told him, "he's most probably pregnant."
"You won't leave me, right Zou…?" Kazuha whispered, he knew the other couldn't hear him at all.
"At least not now…not when I haven't seen you live happily as long as an average mortal's lifespan…" he rambled quietly, "don't leave like he did. I won't be able to forgive myself."
Kazuha was lost in himself, his own thoughts, he hadn't noticed the hand on top of his, grabbing and squeezing his own weakly.
"Kazuha…what are you talking about…?"