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Kuroo Tetsurou, fourth-year biochemistry major
Oct. 17th, 20XX
Okay, confession: I only really came to tango club because I saw Hinata Shouyou (second-year dance and lit major, professionally trained in tango, you know what goes on) handing out flyers about some introductory tango classes at their club, and our eyes met, so ofc I had to go. I may have two left feet, but I’m not dumb enough to pass up on an opportunity to dance with an actual angel.
So I get here, and immediately I just pretend to trip over air so that Hinata would come by and help me. Which works, naturally (I’m very good at acting), and then the dude starts to teach me how to dance.
He asks me if I want to lead or follow (???) and me, not knowing shit but y’know, your guy’s been volleyball captain before, so I said I’d lead and he said okay. We get into position, which apparently doesn’t leave any space for Jesus, and he puts our hands in position, too. Honestly, it’s not my fault that I’m 1) a noob and 2) a dude with long arms, so my hands kinda slip sometimes while he’s teaching me how to walk (it sounds ridiculous, but I promise it’s so much harder than it seems), and at one point my hand slips from his shoulder blade to his waist.
It’s at this point that I feel like the devil had suddenly appeared behind me, which Oikawa Tooru isn’t so far off from. And if you didn’t know (why wouldn’t you not know), Oikawa is the tango club’s second instructor. He’s a fourth-year aerospace engineering major with a big mouth and an equally big ego. But I digress. Oikawa shows up behind me and fucking tears my hand off of Hinata’s back just to put it back on his shoulder blade. I felt like that one dude with all those question marks around his face, you know the meme.
“Hand on the back of the shoulder, bud,” he told me with the ugliest ass fucking smile on his face and I just had to stand there and take it because what was I going to do against someone who was professionally trained in fucking Argentina?!
So I just kinda went “…Okay?” and continued dancing with Hinata, who is an absolute angel by the way.
He continues showing me the basics and all, and I got far enough where he could teach me the basic back ocho, which is rly fucking hard to lead, so I get all flustered and my hand slips again. Oikawa shows up outta nowhere and pinches my wrist like some asshole!
Hinata scolded Oikawa for being harsh but the bitch just smiles and goes, “Sorry, Shou. My hand slipped, I only meant to fix his hand.”
Fucker.
“Too low,” he said, “you gotta put your hand right under his shoulder,” he said. I hate him.
But again. Me: noob. Oikawa: pro. I can’t do anything when this isn’t my field of expertise. If Oikawa woulda challenged me to something like a perfect titration competition, you can bet your ass I’d win. But no, this was a contest of limbs and my limbs were flipping me the biggest bird for putting them through all this.
The dude keeps an eye on me for the rest of the club session, even dumping his current student to “keep watch over the club” (bullshit) and I ended up falling onto my own face bc I tripped over air out of fear that my hand would somehow slip.
0/10 experience with Oikawa, never again
15/10 experience with Hinata, I would propose to him, but I think Oikawa would kill me. Are they together, btw?
Kageyama Tobio, second-year ballet major
Oct. 29th, 20XX (I think)
I didn’t think this was such a big deal, but my roommate told me that I should add to the list (what is this for?) so I am.
But on the 9th, I was at the tango club because they were hosting a practica. I rarely got to attend before this date because I had rehearsals for a concert I was in, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be super busy again after this, so I took the chance to go to this one. There was a warmup, of course, for the first twenty-ish minutes, but only Oikawa-san was there.
I thought it was weird, because he and Hinata usually get there together, and Hinata didn’t say anything about having a meeting after tango class (I attend that class, and Hinata TA’s for it). But really, I was just here to get more experience with tango, so if I HAD to dance with Oikawa-san, I guess I would be willing to try it out. Like, for five minutes or something.
Music starts right after the warmup and I pair up with some dude next to me because we were both spacing out when Oikawa-san said to find a partner, so we were the only two left. Anyways, we finish dancing a full tanda and I switch over to a different person to dance with. I dance another tanda with this person before I decide I want a break.
It may have only been a little less than twenty minutes of dancing, but oh lord is it difficult. Tango requires so much willpower to maintain a good posture, and good arm positions, and straight legs and just—there’s just too much they ask for and I can only do all that for so long. So I excuse myself to go sit down at the side of the studio.
Hinata rushes into the room a minute or so after I started taking a break, and he looks pretty tired. I don’t know what he was tired from but he just—hair mussed up, kinda sweaty, pink face and all. He waves to me as he drops his stuff to start his stretches, I wave back, and then I see Oikawa-san walking towards Hinata from the corner of my eye.
Hinata smiles really bright (what’s new?) and hands Oikawa the jacket that he was just wearing as he entered. It was a lot bigger than his size. Thinking back on it, maybe that was Oikawa-san’s jacket, maybe that’s why my roommate is making this such a big deal (if you’re reading this, Hoshiumi-san, you really could’ve written this yourself).
Oikawa smiles back and hugs the jacket to his chest like some KID. An absolute KID, my GOD, what a KID.
And yeah, that’s really all that happened that day. Idk why it’s such an important thing to record, but if it helps, then whatever, I’m glad I guess.
Komori Motoya, third-year sports medicine major
Nov. 10th, 20XX
Oh gosh, I don’t know if this was actually a slip up or what, but this might be some good ass evidence, so I’m leaving it here.
At the end of our club meeting earlier today, Oikawa-san started a discussion with all of us about what we thought about the club so far. There’s not much to complain about, really, both Oikawa-san and Hinata-san are really good at planning and organizing the club events in a way that’s comfortable and keeps everyone involved in whatever way feels best in that moment (they like to switch off who chooses music, who records their demonstrations, partner rotations and all that). Overall, it’s a great club.
So we quickly get our likes and dislikes out of the way, which Oikawa-san follows up with,
“What questions do you guys have for us?”
Most of them end up being technique questions, which result in Oikawa-san and/or Hinata-san showing an extra demonstration to us (always a treat, honestly). But then we get to someone who asks something like, “I don’t have a dance studio nearby that’s always ready for me to use. How can I practice?”
So Oikawa starts to explain that there’s really no need for a real studio in order to practice tango because, as long as you have the passion for it, even your bathroom will work. Or something like that, I wasn’t paying much attention.
But then!!! The students ask him what he likes to do to practice outside of the club, and he says something like,
“Oh yeah, I live in an apartment a little far away from the studio, so I always end up practicing there instead when it’s not a tango club day. I could use the studios in the dance building, but that requires Shou to be my supervisor, haha. Anyways, yeah, although space is a little cramped, Shouyou and I always find a way to try out new things and polish old things when we’re at home.”
WHEN WE’RE AT HOME
Idk if I’m reading too much into this or if perhaps I misheard something and Oikawa-san didn’t say ‘when we’re at home’ but GUYS. GUYS. This could be big news. You’re welcome.
Do what you will with this information, I will now (for personal reasons) pass away.
Hanamaki Takahiro, fourth-year ???? I think I signed up for Psychology major, something like that
Nov. 19th, 20XX
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
First of all, Mattsun, if you’re reading this, fuck you, I hate you for suggesting this to me because I am: Hurt. My eyes are hurt, my heart is hurt, everything Hurts.
So I already told this story to a good friend of mine, Futakuchi-kun, and he sent me the link to this page. Y’all are really out here simping for these two (well, maybe only one) men like THIS??? Couldn’t be me (if you guys could give my number to Hinata, it’s XXX-XXX-XXXX)
Me: eating an entire tub of ice cream while crying as I write this because I’m HEARTBROKEN
I’m not a regular member at this club by any means, okay, I’m as new as they can get (I’m probably better than that Kuroo dude though) (Fuck you -Kuroo). So naturally, I’m scared of going to the practica they were gonna host. I didn’t even get to attend, but that’ll be explained soon, you’ll understand why. Insert all crying gifs here.
My roommate (fuck you, Mattsun) somehow gets me to get off my ass and go to this practica, and it’s only when I’m literally at the door that I realize I misread their Instagram post. The practica was supposed to start at 8:30 pm, not 7:30 pm. So my dumbass just shoveled down leftovers, showered in five minutes and dressed up just to get here and be early by an hour.
The lights were on, though, so y’know, me being curious, I wanted to go and check what was going on.
I see two people in the room—I think the redhead is the infamous Hinata Shouyou and the other dude is Oikawa Tooru or something. Hinata is a whole ass babe, and he dances like one too. I’m not a dance critic or anything, but MAN, he was just gliding across the floor and at points he had his leg all curled up against guy #2, and I just—UGH. I wish I was that other dude.
I do realize that I’m being a little creepy by staring into the room, but they were just dancing so well that I couldn’t help myself. I scooted even closer to see thing better. And I was kinda ballsy at that point, so I thought I could just open the door and ask to join (visualize: me, in black jeans and an olive green t-shirt next to Hinata Shouyou, wearing skin-tight, black pants and a white silk shirt. I would’ve made myself look a fool).
Again, kinda creepy, but I also almost had my ear up against the door. Partly because I wanted to listen in on the music they were playing (it slapped, but in a romantic way. I Shazam-ed it, it’s called Nada by Carlos Di Sarli) and partly because I heard the angel giggling. Idk why I felt like I was getting my heart broken when I’ve met this dude a grand total of 1 (one) time, but it really felt like it. Especially when I scooted in even closer and heard him go,
“Oikawa-san, stop groping my butt!”
Or something like that. I ran out crying, so I don’t know if I’m recalling that correctly. The only words I really remember hearing were ‘groping’ and ‘butt’, but y’know. I was probably right, because I’m always right. But I wish I wasn’t right for this situation SOBS
But yeah, fuck that second dude. If he does turn out to be Hinata’s boyfriend or something, someone’s gotta tell the babe that he deserves TWO boyfriends. Or, he can have ME, just me. That’s cool, too.
Koganegawa Kanji, second-year education major
Dec. 1st, 20XX
FSDHFSRHIEOBJKSDFHIOAG GUYS OIKAWA-SAN PRINCESS CARRIED SHOUYOU TO THE INFIRMARY EARLIER TODAY. I TOOK SOME PHOTOS, SO I’M GONNA LEAVE THEM HERE!!!
[Top photo: a blurry picture of Oikawa hurriedly reaching down to pick Hinata up. His eyebrows are scrunched together in a concerned expression and he looks like he was mid-yell, or at least mid-sentence. Hinata is on slumped against the wall, body all melted and tiredly splayed. His face and ears visibly red, eyes seemingly closed. His facial expression shows discomfort, to say the least.
Bottom photo: another slightly blurry photo, but this time of Oikawa with Hinata in his arms. Oikawa has his back to the camera, but with how his legs are positioned, it’s clear that he’s not trying to waste any time getting Hinata to the infirmary. His shoes aren’t even on properly, and to the side, we see his ballroom shoes sloppily discarded on the floor. Hinata is curled up in Oikawa’s arms, looking incredibly small. His arms are tightly wrapped around Oikawa’s neck and we can see a glimpse of his face from above Oikawa’s shoulder. He still looks like he’s in discomfort, but he’s still able to cling onto Oikawa like a lifeline.]
PHOTO CREDIT TO MY FRIEND, GOSHIKI
OKAY, SO I DON’T KNOW THE FULL STORY BECAUSE TO BE HONEST, I WASN’T PAYING ALL THAT MUCH ATTENTION, BUT AFTER ASKING GOSHIKI, I THINK IT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:
-SHOUYOU ASKS FOR A BREAK AFTER WE FINISH A TANDA, SO OIKAWA IMMEDIATELY TELLS HIM TO GO DRINK WATER AND TAKE A SEAT TO REST UP.
-OIKAWA-SAN TRIES TO START UP THE LESSONS AGAIN, BUT IT’S CLEAR THAT HE ISN’T VERY COMFORTABLE DOING SO BECAUSE HE’S DOING ALL THIS LOOKING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SHOUYOU AND THE CLASS
-THERE’S A LARGE THUD IN THE MIDDLE OF OIKAWA-SAN TEACHING THE PASADA, SO HE LOOKS OVER AND SEES HINATA ON THE GROUND AND FREAKS THE HECK OUT
-HE RUSHES OVER AND TAKES OFF BOTH HIS AND SHOUYOU’S BALLROOM SHOES, TRIES TO PUT ON HIS WALKING SHOES AND THEN PICKS SHOUYOU UP IN HIS ARMS TO CARRY OVER TO THE INFIRMARY TO REST
-OIKAWA-SAN ASKS KUNIMI TO CONTINUE THE LESSONS (BC HE’S LIKE, OIKAWA-SAN’S APPRENTICE OR SOMETHING) AND FREAKING RUNS, GODSPEED
I DUNNO WHY THIS KIND OF THING NEEDS TO BE PUT ONTO THE INTERNET ): IS IT REALLY THAT IMPORTANT? I MEAN, I KINDA GET IT BECAUSE IT’S SHOUYOU AND WE ALL CARE FOR HIM. OKAY NEVERMIND, I FEEL BETTER ABOUT PUTTING THIS HERE, SHOUYOU DESERVES ALL THE LOVE!
OKAY, BYE!
Daishou Suguru, fourth-year business management and contemporary dance double major
Dec. 12th, 20XX
Honestly, I’m just so distraught. First, my girlfriend thinks we’re in some weird love triangle with that dumbass Kuroo (man, fuck you too -Kuroo), and now she’s invested in figuring out whether or not the two instructors of the fucking tango club are actually in some sort of relationship. My life is in shambles, the only thing I ever genuinely feel happy about is Monopoly now (and Mika, too, but Monopoly, y’know).
Mika won’t even type this up here because she said, and I quote,
“Babe, I’m a lit major, I don’t need the writing practice. YOU, on the other hand, always write like you’re in the eighth grade and still petty about that one guy that called your bangs tacky, so why don’t you take this little challenge for me, hm?”
I do love it here.
Anyways, she said that on the 12th (day of Christmas -Kuroo), the tango club had a lil beginner’s lesson where Oikawa and Hinata taught the kids how to do and transition into the front ocho. Things go well, yadda yadda yadda, everybody loves their class, you should know the routine by now, Mika says.
And then at the end of class, when people are starting to leave, she says she saw Hinata bundling Oikawa up in jackets upon jackets and then a big, fluffy scarf to top it all off. It was supposedly really cute because Oikawa just kinda pouted and stood there as Hinata got him all poofed up. I’m too lazy to make their conversation sound all pretty and poetic, so here is what Mika remembers from their convo:
H: Oikawa-san, you need to dress more warmly! It’s cold outside, especially now that we’re in the middle of December!
O: But Shouuuu (apparently he whined this, idk), I did dress warm enough! I brought all these jackets with me, didn’t I?? But it’s really hot right now since we just finished dancing, so can’t we just take the bus like this? I promise I’ll put the puffy jacket on if I get cold!
H: (shaking his head or something. And apparently he pouts) Nuh-uh (pfft wtf), Oikawa-san. I don’t trust you to just promise like that because next thing we know, you’ll be in bed all feverish and sick! You should know your body’s weaknesses by now
O: (muttering, I guess) Says the person who was bedridden for three days last week
And then everything beyond that was just screeching from Hinata and apologies from Oikawa. There. Done. Geez.
(Oikawa also screamed “I don’t need to take good care of myself, because I know you’ll do it for me” hehe -Mika)
Tendou Satori, fourth-year culinary major and piano minor
Dec. 25th, 20XX
I feel bad for all of you, I really do lol
[inserted picture: a screenshot of the tango club’s most recent (now deleted) Instagram post. It’s a poorly edited photo. The background is a solid red, like hurts-your-eyes red, with words sprawled across it in Comic Sans font, “all I want for Christmas is (Shou)Youuuuu” with a badly photoshopped Oikawa in the bottom right corner. His eyes are tightly shut, he’s wearing glasses, and he wears his necktie like a headband. In his hands are a microphone and an empty bottle of beer. He probably meant to place the microphone near his mouth, but instead, the beer bottle is what’s right next to his face. He looks like he’s screaming something with how his face is all scrunched up.
The caption underneath the photo says: “merry fuCKING christmas, from the Oikawa family.”]
Is this really y’all’s tango club president?
Haiba Lev, second-year photography major
Jan. 2nd, 20XX
GUYYYYYYSSSSSSS. IT’S OVER FOR US T.T
Hinata came in today with a bouquet of flowers!! And not just any flowers, it’s a bouquet of red roses!! Those are the rEALLY romantic flowers!!
He came in by himself, saying that Oikawa-san was going to be late because he was caught up doing office hours for a class he’s TA-ing for, so we took that as an opportunity to ask what the flowers were for! I didn’t ask, of course, I might be dumb but I’m not THAT dumb that I’d risk my life for Hinata (honestly second guessing that). But someone else asks, I don’t remember their name, but thank you, your sacrifices will not go unnoticed.
And when they ask, the worst thing happens! Hinata BLUSHES. He blushes, and he hides behind the bouquet, all shy and cute—UGH. We all go ‘OOOH’ and ‘AWWW’ but I SWEAR, I could actually, legitimately hear the breaking of some of those hearts in that room at that moment.
So Hinata finally answers after his little episode, and I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it was something like:
“These… these are from Oikawa-san, actually.”
Which, like, I dunno if he knows, but like, half the class now suddenly despises Oikawa-san.
“They’re for our one year anniversary of dating!”
Yeah. So they just confirmed their relationship T.T DAMMIT, if only I was a hot dude who did international studies in Argentina and learned tango and did tango professionally. GRR.
Fukunaga took a video of Oikawa coming back in and posted it as an unlisted video on YT, here’s the link.
[linked video: the camera (most likely on a phone) shakes as it zooms in towards the door where Oikawa is clearly about to step in. He opens the door and has one foot through when he freezes, and looks up and around the room. The camera zooms in on the door hinge for some reason and then goes back to Oikawa, who starts talking.
“Guys? Why are we all so quiet?”
He laughs awkwardly as he shuts the door closed, slowly toeing off his regular shoes in silence which is also incredibly awkward. His face contorts back and forth between a concerned and a ‘I’m-waiting-for-the-prank-to-happen’ kind of expression.
“Seriously, is everything okay? Where’s Shouyou?”
Someone from outside of the frame explains: “Hinata-san is changing in the bathroom right now.”
Oikawa goes, “ohhhh,” and soon enough, he spots the bouquet, and freezes for the second time.
“Oh, what… um, what nice flowers! Whose are they?”
It’s pretty clear that Oikawa knows that THEY know, so he starts shuffling backwards towards the door, until his back hits the wood and he struggles to find the doorknob.
“I, um, I gotta go… uh, do something—AHHHHH!”
Oikawa doesn’t even finish his sentence before he’s taking off, a flurry of students running off after him as he’s seen becoming smaller and smaller, running further away from the studio to who knows where. He can be heard screaming all the way down the hallways, earning all of them a harsh “SHUSH” from the old professor playing chess with his friend right outside the studio.]
RIP Oikawa-san, he will be missed! Just not by me hehe
Yachi Hitoka, second-year interior design and fine arts double major
Jan. 12th, 20XX
T.T
[inserted picture: Hinata and Oikawa are walking through the door to the studio together, hands linked to the other’s. Hinata has one hand up to wave at the others, showcasing a golden band on his pinky finger, and Oikawa has a hand holding the door open, a familiar glint coming from his hand, presumably his pinky as well. The two have big, bright smiles on their faces as they greet the students already gathered at the club’s studio.]
Picture credits to Kanoka-san!
Oikawa Tooru, fourth-year aerospace engineering major (y’all tryna make same-major friends or something by adding this here?)
IDC about the date, you’ll read this when you read this
Surprise, losers, it’s ME, your favorite tango club president. I bet you didn’t expect me to find this little document of yours, but again, it’s me, how was I not going to find it? Also, you all deserve it after what you put me through the day you found out Shou and I were dating.
Oops! I forgot that was the sensitive topic, I apologize. But honestly, I bet you guys really want some answers, don’t you? So here’s the explanation. Sit back and relax (not really, I’m coming after all of you before I (or we) graduate).
Shouyou and I met in Argentina when I was a third-year and he was a first-year in college. I’d already been there for almost a year because I started doing international research in Argentina. And besides doing research, I was also got recommendations to do something else in Argentina or else I would “die of boredom” or something like that, so I took on Argentinian tango, which I learned from the professor who is currently teaching at our uni right now.
At the end of my third year, I was invited to a milonga, which if you guys remember, is the fancier, more formal version of a practica. I thought I was gonna shit my pants if I went, but I knew I couldn’t say no because the professor was looking forward to introducing me to someone important.
I was kinda like, what? Who on Earth?
Then I went. And at the entrance to the milonga stood our professor and Shouyou, who was dressed to the nines. He had this pretty, sheer black long sleeve shirt on and GOD his ASS. His ASS was so beautiful in those tight black pants. Y’all can ask for pictures, but the only pictures of that moment that I have are in my head because I, like a fool, forgot to ask Shouyou for pictures that night.
The professor briefly explains to me that Shouyou had been in ballroom competitions since he was in high school, and that he was here to get lessons from another Argentinian tango professional for his last competition. And he was just so sweet and humble, and just so CUTE in that moment, you guys probably know what I’m talking about—he has that shy smile on his face and he averts his eyes and scratches underneath his right ear, all that.
Anyways, we go in and immediately, I turn to make eye contact with him to invite him into the ronda, and he miraculously looks back at me. We dance, and it was the best time of my fucking life (besides the time I got accepted into my major). I confessed to him at the end of the night before he left because I, a lovestruck fool, thought it was my main character moment. He told me he was flattered, but felt it was rushed and unlikely that we could be in a relationship. After all, he was flying back to Japan soon and I was stuck in Argentina for the next few months. But I gave him my number and insisted he call or text me whenever he needs, and by God, did he do that.
I got texts at ass o’clock about this cute cat video Shouyou saw on the internet, a recipe that he wanted to try out, rants about his coach and assigned partners—you name it, he’s probably texted me about it. And I listened, not because I wanted to get into his pants (I will admit, it’s a part of it), but because he was so sweet and fun to talk to. You guys already know how easy it is to get caught in a conversation with him. He just knows how to speak to literally everyone, I swear. But yeah… I let him know when my flight back was and he came to pick me up, all bundled up and with a pack of milk bread just for me. So I kissed him right then and there, and confessed again after. Luckily, he agreed to date me this time.
It was, hm, 2 weeks after I wanna say, that he told me about the Tango club at school. He told me the professor is on medical leave and put the teaching responsibilities onto him. Now, he didn’t explicitly ask for my help, but I offered anyways because 1) I get to spend more time with him, and 2) he looked so damn adorable when I said I could help him. So we spend more time together, we dance more, yadda yadda yadda, and badabing badaboom, we’re madly in love (Say sike right now -Kuroo).
So a huge fuck you to everyone who’s ever breathed wrongly in Shou’s general direction, as well as to those who wished for my demise. Because jokes on you, I suffered way worse from the Argentinian boys who were interested in Shouyou. Y’all are weak, don’t try to test me again until you’re ready to hire the mafia to get rid of me (Fuck around and find out era? -Kuroo). Anyways, I just want to let you know that Shou and I exchanged promise rings the other day. We’re more than official, celebrity couples wished they had what we do.
In sum, don’t try to take my future husband. Don’t try to rile me up because y’all will STAY being second thoughts. And a well wish to those seeking partners. May you all be constantly reminded of Shouyou’s flawless, immaculate existence.
Shouyou’s truly,
Oikawa Tooru
(Ayo, does someone have a good WikiHow on hiring the mafia? I tried on Twitter and I got a dm about why it isn’t an aesthetic. Send help -Kuroo)