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She knew that it was ridiculous to think such things. But, Annabeth couldn't get her mind to stop dwelling on it.
Truly, her mind worked as a double-edged sword.
Even with all of the reassurances that Percy had offered up and all the logic and evidence that Annabeth had that proved that he did love her and wanted to be with her, just as she wanted to be with him, there was just an annoyingly persistent voice in the back of Annabeth's mind that kept saying it would never last.
She was just Annabeth, a Half-Blood daughter of Athena. His father's rival. What could she really offer him that someone else couldn't? What was really stopping Percy from leaving her in the dust one day and going to another girl or guy that would be able to give him more than she ever could?
What would keep him from pursuing a normal, mortal life with Rachel? Even if she was the Oracle.
What would stop him from finding a way back to Calypso?
Who would even be able to dissuade him from going back to Zeus and getting his promised immortality? His godhood. Surely, if Percy went up to Zeus or his father and asked for his chance to be a God again, they wouldn't deny him it. Even when he was just fifteen, almost sixteen, the Gods knew that Percy could be a powerful threat to them if he turned against them; and what better way is there to ensure one of your biggest threats won't turn against you? Make them one of you.
That was one place that Annabeth had no chance of following him to.
On the other hand, he had given up his first offer to become a God for a reason, for a very specific reason. Percy had given up his offer for Annabeth. Not that he'd ever directly said as much to her, but it was heavily implicated by him, time and time again.
He'd looked back at her when he rejected the offer. She was the one he went to when everything finally settled down again after the war. He was there far faster than he should've been when she'd gotten hurt on the bridge.
But, even all that couldn't negate the stupid voice in Annabeth's head that screamed that he'd just settled for her. And, the worst part of that was Annabeth didn't have anything solid to disprove it. As far as he'd known, Calypso was out of reach, unless he wanted to chance nearly dying again. Rachel had been labeled as a non-option because she chose to become the oracle.
Annabeth was just there. Easily accessible and readily available for him.
She wasn't his first choice. Or even his second.
Maybe she was third. She was nothing more than the safe option for him. It's not like Annabeth was going anywhere anytime soon. She'd already made the Hunters unavialable to herself as an alternative, for him.
Funny how that worked out in the end.
Annabeth gave up immortality with the Hunters of Artemis for Percy. And a year and a half or so later, Percy gave up his gift from the Gods, from Zeus, of immortality, for her.
To anyone else, anyone thinking rationally in the slightest, would look at the way everything had played itself out, and they'd come to the conclusion that Annabeth had 'won' in the end. She was the one that had ended up with Percy. She won. But Annabeth sure as Hades didn't feel like a winner. She should've felt some kind of pride, some accomplishment, for being the one that snagged Percy Jackson, and roped him into being with them.
She should've felt something. Yet, all Annabeth could feel was jealousy of all things.
Annabeth knew she could never measure up to the beauty that an immortal, titan like Calypso or any God or Goddess, would throw themselves at Percy if they had the chance, possessed.
Her blonde hair always had others doubting her intelligence. Or golden, princess curls. Between her tanned skin and sterling silver, as Percy had let her know that he'd thought it too, she looked like a stereotypical California girl. Just some ditzy blonde bimbo.
Nor would she ever be able to give Percy the lush, privileged normal life that he could've gotten with Rachel; or with just about any other mortal.
Since before she'd even turned seven, Annabeth's life had been anything but normal. Hades her birth was anything but normal. She only existed because her mother decided that she should exist. There was no conception or prenatal of any kind. Just one second, she didn't exist and the next she did and was being dumped on Frederick Chase's lap.
If her entire life being abnormal from the start hadn't been enough to deter any sane person from being anywhere near her at any given time, that point was only proven once again by the fact that within her, nearly immediate, family tree there was another pantheon of Gods puppeteering and manipulating everyone and every event they could, or just wanted to. Who the fuck would want to get wrapped up in all of that?
If a person had any other choice, why would they choose to deal with someone like Annabeth Chase?
"Beth?" Percy was standing in front of her, his hands planted on each of her shoulders, "Are you, are you okay?"
The very second that his green eyes bore into hers, Annabeth knew what she needed to tell him. "Oh, yeah, everything's fine." When it didn't seem like he fully believed her, that there was that glint in his eyes that told her he knew she wasn't being entirely truthful with him, so she added, "Just, lost in thought is all."
And it did the trick.
Percy's hands slid off her shoulders, one of his hands slid into hers. The built-up tension in his shoulders melted away just enough that his muscles relaxed a noticeable amount; well, at least it was noticeable to Annabeth. "If you say so, Wise Girl."