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Here Come The Men In Black

Summary:

Peter Parker once thought life couldn't get weirder than getting bitten by a radioactive spider and ending up able to toss cars and stick to walls. But that was before his new history teacher, Mr. Coulson, turned out to be some kind of secret agent.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Okay, this is probably a bad call.

 A seriously bad call. The kinda bad call that ends with you chained up in some basement while a nutso guy tells you to put lotion on your skin. But then again, it isn’t like he has much of a choice.

Peter Parker takes one more look around his perfectly ordinary – well, okay, a bit tinier than ordinary – teenager’s room and wonders briefly whether this is the last time he’ll get to see it.

 “You don’t have to go, you know” Ned suggests, but even that is a bit half hearted “We could tell my mom and dad…”

“And they’ll call Aunt May” Peter counters immediately.

 That is the worst of the deal. The usual ‘sensible’ solution, go tell the grownups… Not gonna work.

“You’re actually going to trust that creep?” Michelle asks from where she is perched on the window sill. 

Peter can tell she is one second away from just grabbing him and tying him up in a closet if she thought that would stop him from going through with this.

 “Mr. Coulson is not a creep” he goes instinctively defensive.

The mild mannered substitute was the last person he would have expected to suspect the truth, but he is insanely glad it is him. There’s something about Mr. Coulson that makes you feel you can trust him.

 “Not Coulson” Michelle waves that possibility away “This other guy he’s asking you to meet with. This Fury.” 

“I… I gotta trust someone, MJ” Peter admits.

 It is tough to admit, but it’s true. He’s got to trust someone – someone who can explain what the hell is going on with him. And Mr. Coulson was adamant that Director Fury will be able to give him the answers.

Michelle shakes her head, muttering something under her breath. But even she can’t argue against that.

They need to figure this out. ASAP. And much as the trio hates to admit it, their own research isn’t exactly showing anything. Even after Ned hacked into a few websites he really shouldn’t have been in.

Maybe, if Mr. Coulson had approached him a month ago, Peter might have been more hesitant. But a month ago, Uncle Ben was still there. A month ago, Peter did not have blood on his hands. A month ago, Peter had not beaten a burglar almost to death.

“I’ve got to figure this out” he repeats.

 Maybe enough of what he is thinking shows on his face, because even MJ doesn’t offer anymore arguments.

“Okay” she sighs “But I’m so gonna kill you if your dumbass gets kidnapped.”

………………………………..

Parking lot.

It definitely looks way too creepy when there aren’t any cars around. Or people around, for that matter. Peter can feel his heart racing, the thud of rushing blood in his ears.

He knows this is a bad idea. A really bad idea. Yeah, it isn’t like he’s defenseless or anything, far from it, that is the reason he is here to begin with, but still…

 Mr. Coulson’s car is there, at its usual spot. Peter’s now-enhanced eyes can pick out the silhouette of the teacher in the dirivng seat. Mr Coulson looks up and waves.

 Point of no return. Peter knows he can bolt now, there’s no way Mr. Coulson will be able to catch him, not the way he is now. But…if he bolts…

 He needs to know. Needs to figure this out.

  “Hello, Peter” Mr. Coulson’s tone is calm, casual, as if Peter has just walked into his office to ask about grades or something.

  He’s dressed in a weird men in black kind of uniform suit than his usual tweeds, but other than that he looks as he always does.

 Peter hesitates before getting into the car. “I… I’ve told someone where I’m going. I’ve told them I’m supposed to be back before twelve.”

He, Ned and MJ have the cover story planned. A sleepover at Ned’s house, working on a group project. Just in case Aunt May calls. 

Mr. Coulson nods “I’ll have you back by then.”

“Okay…” Peter grimaces.

 Here goes nothing. He pulls the car door open, stepping in… And finds himself seated in front of a desk in what looks like an office room.

“What the…”

 Even several blinks and arm pinching later, the room is there. A majestic desk like the principal’s at school. The name board on it read Director Nicholas Fury.

  “Hello, Peter”

He jumps almost a feet in air, whirling around to find Mr. Coulson standing at the door, with a the guy he had pointed out a day ago as Director Fury. The director is considerably more intimidating up close.

“You..How… How did I get here? Did you knock me out or something?”

“Not at all” Mr. Coulson smiles reassuringly. “We just brought you in through a portal. Handy for long distance trips, especially given we were working with a time limit.”

 “Long distance?” Peter leaps to his feet “Where am I? I’ve got to-“

 “Calm down, kid” Director Fury orders gruffly “We’ll have you back home before curfew. And yes, teleportation is a thing – under some circumstances, anyway. “

 “You are…”

“I’ll give you the cliffsnotes version. I’m Director Nick Fury. Director of SHIELD. An international defense organization.”

Peter frowns, trying to remember if he’s ever heard of that. An international defense organization? International as in…

 “Don’t hurt your brains thinking, kid. You haven’t heard of us. Practically no one has heard of us, and we prefer to keep it that way. I’m in charge of the American branch. Your temp teacher here is one of our agents. He was placed in your school to observe you.”

“Observe me?” Maybe it’s absurd to feel a twinge as if he’s been betrayed, but there’s accusation in Peter’s eyes as he looks at his favorite teacher.

Mr. Coulson shrugs, a little apologetically. “Once your powers began to manifest, we needed to keep you under observation. For your own safety and that of others.”

“You thought I’d hurt someone?”

 “Not intentionally. But given the impulse control skills of your age group in general…” Fury walks over and seats himself behind the ornate desk.  “After all, you did not intend to kill that burglar, but you came very close to it, did you not?”

 Peter gapes, opening and closing his mouth like a landed fish.

 “Of course we know” Fury answers before he can ask anything “We’ve been keeping an eye on you ever since your…accident. “

“I… I didn’t mean to… I was stronger than I thought…”

 Fury gives him a don’t-mention-it shake of the head “We know, kid. And even if it wasn’t that way… Well, given what he did to your uncle, I won’t be pointing any fingers if you had, you know…”

“I didn’t mean to! I swear-“

 “It’s okay, Peter” Mr. Coulson promises, placing a calming hand on his shoulder.

 “Let’s start with the basics” Fury continues, ignoring Peter’s spluttering. “About three months ago, you were bitten by a spider at the Osborn expo, right?”

“Yes…”

 “And since then you have been manifesting certain…spidery powers?”

Peter nods.

“Tried to find out more about the spider that bit you, and discovered it was one of the specimens involved in radiation trials.”

 “Yeah…”

 Fury nods. He’s about to say something more when the door bangs open. Peter lets out a startled yelp.

Fury looks up in annoyance at the newcomer “Mr. Stark. To what do I owe this displeasure?”

 Stark? Peter stares at the newcomer. Tony Stark? What the hell? Tony Stark? What is he doing here?

“Nicky” the inventor glares at the director, arms on his hips “You blocked me from the labs!”

 The Director rolls his eyes “Temporary measures, Stark. And seriously, three days’ suspension is the mildest you can expect after releasing literal flying monkeys in the White House”

“I was bored!” It is just about then that Stark spots Peter “Hey! Is this the new blood, Nick?”

 “I will literally throw you out of the helicarrier next time you call me Nick, Nicky or any variation of my first name.”

Stark is now looking at Peter with a kid-on-Christmas-morning excitement “I saw that video. You caught a car, right?”

“Uh…”

“How d’you get that webs going?”

 “I…webshooter…”

It’s just then that a face Peter saw in his history text book last night walks in. “Director, did- Oh, you’re here already, Tony?”

 Fury sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose “Captain Rogers. I believe part of your task as team leader is to keep Iron Man’s mask on and mouth shut during public events.”

Captain Rogers – yeah, Peter’s very baffled mind checks the memory banks and confirms this is The Captain Rogers, Captain America, KIA in the WWII – shrugs “With due respect, Director, I already admitted that is something impossible without literal mind control.”

Stark gives him a thumbs up, grinning.

“You…You are…” Peter’s eyes dart around the room, trying to make sense of what is going on.

“Yes, this is Captain Steve Rogers” Mr. Coulson confirms.

“This is Peter Parker?” the Captain looks at him, and Peter temporarily loses the ability to form coherent words. Captain America. He is looking at – talking to – Captain America.

“I did my history project on you!” Peter bursts out, regretting the words the second they are out of his mouth.

Stark goes into a fit of laughter, clapping the Captain on the shoulder. “Aww, our Agent Agent was teaching you about-“

“The syllabus had the Second World War in the term’s module, Stark” Mr. Coulson glares at him, then gives a slightly more apologetic glance to the Captain. Peter is too bewildered to pay any attention to the byplay.

“You are… I thought… You…”

 “Long story, involving Arctic ice” Fury interrupts “You’ll get the whole story later if you decide to tag on.”

“Tag on?”

 Mr. Coulson sighs “We had intended to ease you into this, but given the interruption…”

 “Kid” Fury looks him in the eyes “you ever watched the Men in Black movies?”

“The cartoon” Peter admits “Uncle Ben had them on discs.”

 “Better than the movies” Stark confirms, earning another glare from Fury. “You just got recruited by the actual MIB, kiddo. The Ghostbusters meet MIB”

 “Stark…”

Peter can only stare, baffled.

 “He is more or less accurate” Mr. Coulson says.

 “You guys…police aliens?”

“Aliens? Occasionally. A lot of our business is earthbound, though. Ghosts. Demons. Things that cross the veil.”

 “Things that go bump in the night” Stark adds.

 “You’re…You’re… Ghosts AREN’T REAL!”

 “Kid, you got bit by a radioactive spider. Now you can stick to walls and play toss with cars. I’d say it’s a bit too late for skepticism.”

 “But…ghosts…”

“Believe me, you’ll get used to the paranormal parts soon enough. It’s the regular folk who’ll be creeping you out.”

Mr Coulson pats his shoulder sympathetically “I know it is a lot to take in, Peter. But I think you have always known on some level that there is more to the world than it appears.”

 “The stuff your mommy – or aunty for you, I guess – told you when you were in kindergarten? The stuff about how there’s nothing in the dark that isn’t there in the light? Well, the fact is, there is plenty in the dark. And it’s our job to keep them where they belong.”

 “Basically ghostbusters” Captain Rogers smiles “You’ll get used to it.”

 “If he survives long enough” Fury adds.

Peter blanches.

“Not gonna lie to you about that” the Director shrugs “It is a dangerous job. But someone has to do it – and we chose to.”

“You chose to…”

“Not ‘you’, ‘we’. You are firmly in the club, Peter.”

 “Wait, what?” This is all going way too fast “I never said I’m signing up!”

“You signed up when you came back” Stark comments.

“Came back?”

Fury nods. “SHIELD has several regular agents, of course. Same as FBI or INTERPOL or whatever alphabet agencies you’re thinking of. But we have some…special agents.”

 “Think Justice League” Stark interrupts again.

“Superheroes?” Peter blinks. Okay, his own situation sounds like something straight out of a comic book and everything, but…

 “More or less, yeah” Captain Rogers agrees.

 “You were shocked to see the Captain here” Fury continues. “The history books say that Captain America died in the last days of WWII, crashing an explosives laden plane into the Arctic Ocean to stop it from reaching New York.”

“Um, yeah…”

“The history books are accurate.”

 “Huh?”

 “Captain Rogers died in that crash – drowned in the ocean. The supersoldier serum he received enhances a body to peak human levels, but peak human levels are not anywhere close to enough to survive plane crash injuries followed by freezing and drowning at the same time, plus seventy years buried in the Arctic.”

Peter looks from the Director to the supersoldier standing beside him, looking very much alive.

“There are things out there – both of the Light and of the Dark” Mr. Coulson explains “The more powerful on both sides, they can’t really enter our world in their own forms. So they recruit agents.”

“They find people who are at the point of death and offer them a choice – either move on to whatever comes next, or return to the living world. Return as their agents.”

“You mean Grim Reaper hands out superpowers?”

 Stark laughs out loud. The captain looks amused. Fury and Mr. Coulson don’t.

 “Something older than the Reapers. You can call the one on the Light side The One Above All. The one on the Dark side, The One Below All. But basically these are just labels, handles of a sort. They don’t matter.”

 “And this…One Above All recruited you?” Peter looks questioningly at Rogers, who nods.

“Captain Rogers was recruited right after his crash, though he did not become an active agent till recently when his body was recovered and defrosted. Stark here was killed in Afghanistan when his escape attempt went predictably wrong. He got recruited, though I have no damn idea why.”

 Stark only looks more delighted at the comment, if anything.

 “We have several other active members. Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton, KGB and CIA assassins respectively – killed during a mission in Budapest. Technically Romanov should have been dispatched to the Russian branch of SHIELD, but certain…complications meant she prefers to continue here.  Dr. Bruce Banner, killed in a weapons test gone wrong.  To be honest, we aren’t entirely sure which side recruited him.”

 Stark and the Captain glare in unison at Fury at that comment. Fury ignores them. “Dr Stephen Strange, famous neurosurgeon, died in a car crash. Currently in his second career as the Sorcerer Supreme. Sam Wilson, military paramedic shot down in Afghanistan. “

“Wait” Peter interrupts “All of you…All of you died, got recruited, and came back with superpowers?”

“Yes.”

“But I didn’t die!”

“You don’t remember the actual deal. No one does.”

 “But I never…”

“Peter. You got bit by a radioactive spider. People whom the thing passed close by had to be treated for radiation exposure. You should have – and in the normal course of events would have – died in a matter of days, if not hours.”

 Peter stares “I… I died?”

 He gets flashes of a hazy memory. A figure, a woman in a hooded black cloak, a promise… Great power, great responsibility… A voice, a voice that seemed to come out of everything and everywhere.

I am the One Above All. I see through many eyes. I build with many hands. They are themselves, but they are also me. I am all-powerful. My only weapon is love. The mystery intrigues me.

“Do you remember?” the Captain asks.

Peter nods dazedly “So…I… I’ve got to join you guys?”

 “You haven’t got to do anything, Peter” Mr. Coulson assures him “If you want, you can just walk away from this.”

 “But I don’t think you will” Fury adds. “The sort of guys who walk away…well, they don’t take the deal. I don’t think they get offered the deal.”

“Then what happens?”

 “We didn’t mean to recruit you this early, actually” Mr. Coulson comments “We were going to wait till you had at least graduated. But apparently your powers…aren’t going to let you stay off the radar.”

“You think people will notice?”

 “People may or may not notice. That’s of little concern. But there are things that will.”

“Uh…”

 “Especially since your uncle’s death. And no, before you ask, that had nothing to do with your accident or destiny or whatever crap it is. Guy was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, was all.”

Peter blinks. That comment has just triggered another idea. “Wait. Wait. You said…People who die…They…”

“Your uncle won’t be coming back” Mr. Coulson’s tone is genuinely sympathetic. “If he were to come back, you wouldn’t have known he was dead. Same way no one knows of your death or Stark’s.”

 “But…Why wouldn’t he? If he got the chance…”

 Fury shakes his head “Plenty reasons.”

 “He’d want to! He wouldn’t want to leave us, wouldn’t want to leave Aunt May like that, he wouldn’t-“

“Peter-“

 “Why wouldn’t this thing, this One Above All or whatever it is, give him a chance? He was a good guy! He…”

“Peter. It’s not just random powers that you get if you opt to come back. You…You can no longer be Reaped by Time.”

 “Uh, what?”

“Meaning, in plain words, you won’t die of old age. You won’t age. Your aging stops at the day you were meant to have died.”

Peter’s eyes widen. He turns back to look at Stark. Yeah, Tony Stark’s supposed to be old, like forty five or something, almost as old as Aunt May.

 But this guy looks like he’s still in his early thirties. Peter had assumed it is just a rich people plastic surgery whatever kind of thing, but…

“Yep” Stark nods “Bad news, kid, you’re stuck at twelve years old forever.”

 “I’m fifteen!”

 Fury clears his throat pointedly. “The fact is, if your uncle had opted to come back, he would have had to watch his wife, his friends, whoever he’s got, grow old and die while he still looked forty something.”

“Most of the people who opt to come back are young, like you – well, usually not this young, more like twenty something” Mr. Coulson explains “Or people who don’t have any meaningful connections.”

Peter frowns. Captain Rogers…the text book gave his age, he was twenty three when he ‘died’. Stark…

 “Second category, and proud of it!” the billionaire announces.

“At the time” Captain Rogers adds.

Suddenly, a screen on the Director’s desk lights up. The adults are instantly alert. Even Stark’s devil-may-care expression slips for a moment into something approaching seriousness.

“I think we’ll cut this session short” Fury announces.

 “What’s happening?” Peter demands, craning his neck to get a look at the screen. It shows a globe diagram, with a part of it glowing red. And a lot of codes he’s got no clue how to decipher.

“None of your business – yet” the Director motions at Mr. Coulson “Take junior here back home. We’ll schedule the next session soon enough.”

 Peter blinks, trying to argue, trying to ask questions, but Mr. Coulson’s grip on his shoulder is firm and he’s guided out of the door – and into the parking lot.

“Whoa!”

 “Portal” Mr. Coulson nods “Go home, call your friends and let them know you haven’t been kidnapped. We’ll talk later.”

 “The….You…” Peter shakes his head, trying to pull himself together. He has a million questions, but only time to ask one, if that. “Are you one of the regular agents? Or a, uh, special agent?”

Mr. Coulson smiles, clearly having expected this question.

“Used to be a regular agent. Then I ended up underestimating a psycho teen Norse god.” He taps his chest, as if indicating an old wound “Currently, one of the special agents – low tier, no serious powers except a mild psychic skill.”

 “Oh. Okay, then”

Peter can’t help wondering whether he’s dreaming this all up. It really doesn’t help when Mr. Coulson pulls out of the parking lot and the car starts flying.

Notes:

* Wanted to do a kind of remake of the MCU Avengers, a lot spookier. Hit upon this idea of having the Avengers as not well known superheroes, but a secret international force...dedicated to hunting down supernatural horrors of all kinds. Basically what the Hunters in Supernatural might have been if they worked as an organization like SHIELD.

*This fic is kind of an introduction to the universe. The other fics to follow will be set in this universe, focusing on the Avengers team as they hunt down demons, ghosts and other things that go bump in the night. I've made some slight changes to the backstories, but the characters are essentially who they were in MCU, post-Avengers 2012.

*It's easier to get my ADHD brain to focus on writing when I'm getting feedback. So, would love it if you comment. Comments of all kinds, including concrit, welcome and appreciated.

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