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Looking up at the building that he’s been meaning to come to for a while now, he swore that he would never do this again. But then he meant this guy one day while he was walking around the park at 4 am. The two of them have bonded over the last few weeks come to find out that they were both in the same boat of trying to get back to their jobs. Buck and James had become friends who found out that walking around the park at 4 am was very therapeutic to a point. James had mentioned that his wife was a therapist, that maybe Buck should go see her.
Buck got in the elevator and headed to the fifth floor where he was going to find James’s wife’s office. The doors opened and he walked down the hall and stood in front of the door. Reaching out he grabbed the handle and turned the knob and opened the door walking in. Looking around to see that there was one other person I the room, walking up to the desk he smiled to the woman behind the desk.
“Hello, can I help you?” She asked.
“Hi, I am Evan Buckley I have an appointment with Dr. Barnes at 10 am.” Buck said as she started to type into the computer. She then handed him a clipboard and a pen.
“If you could fill this out, it’s just basic info and then the HIPPA form.” She said as Buck took the clipboard and took a seat.
“Mr. Kling here is your next appointment. See you on Friday.” She spoke.
“Thank you, Lacey.” He said as he took his card and then headed out the door.
“Ok Mr. Buckley, she’ll see you now, you can go through that door.” Lacey said as Buck handed her the clipboard and turned to the door. Just as he reached out the door opened and there stood a woman, with a warm smile, hazel green eyes, and a round belly. He had almost forgotten that James mentioned that she was six months pregnant.
“Hello, you must be Evan Buckley, I am Laura Barnes please come in.” Laura said as she moved to allow him to enter. Shutting the door, Buck took his seat, and she went back behind the desk.
“I am, it’s great to finally meet you, James talks highly about you. But please call me Buck.” Buck said.
“Well, I can say the same about you too, I am glad that James found someone to talk to. So where do you want to start?” Laura asked.
“I am not really sure the last time I went to see a therapist I slept with her.” Buck said as Laura smiled.
“Well, I can almost guarantee that that will not happen, I am happily married and having a baby. Besides that, is very inappropriate and very unprofessional. So do you want to start there then?” Laura asked.
“About two years ago I was a completely different person, I was the type of person who slept with every woman and a few men that came my way. Hell, I even stole a fire truck to have sex, I was so screwed up back then.” Buck said.
“What happened next?” Laura asked.
“Well, I almost lost my job with the LAFD, but my Capitan gave me another chance and I knew that I had to change, and I thought I had I then meant Abby, she changed me for the better.” Buck said as Laura looked on to see he was deep in thought.
“How did she change you?” Laura asked.
“She made me want to be someone she could count on, her mother had dementia and she was taking care of her as well as working a fulltime job as a 911 dispatcher. We got to know one another over the phone, and it felt right, and I no longer needed the one-night stands. Well, then I asked her out on a date that ended up with me in the hospital, I chocked on a piece of bread. After that things looked up and we were eating and sleeping together, I had practically moved in as her mother got worse. Then her mother had passed away and that’s when my life changed again. For the worst.” Buck said.
“How so I man you were in a loving relationship with someone who changed you to be a better person.” Laura said.
“Up until she ghosted me.” Buck said as Laura looked on waiting for him to continue. “After her mom passed, she realized that she needed to go out and see the world, to see Ireland something her mom always wanted. So, I took her to the airport and sent her off on her journey as she kissed me and then walked through the doors. The calls and letters started to thin out and then nothing.” Buck said.
“So, she left you with hope of returning, why does it sound like you are used to it?” Laura asked as Buck looked down at his hand and then thought back to his parents and how they left him behind.
“Because as far as I can remember I have always been left behind, I mean my parents would leave me with a nanny while they went on vacation. Maddie leaving for college and then going off to marry Doug leaving me behind. So as soon as I turned 18, I left home and did my thing until I landed here in LA.” Buck said.
“So, Abby leaving caused you to remember all those old abandonment issues. What else happened to bring those issues up?” Laura asked.
“Last year I was trapped under a ladder truck after a bomber blew it up, it crushed my leg, firefighting is my life it’s all I ever wanted to do was help people.” Buck said.
“Then that was suddenly taken away from you with that kind of injury it’s hard to come back from, but you did it didn’t you?” Laura asked.
“Yeah, I did, I passed my recertification and was on my way back, the team we were like family on and off the field.” Buck said.
“So, what happened that you now feel like you’re not part of the team?” Laura asked.
“How did you know?” Buck asked as Laura smiled.
“If they are family like you said then you would go to them instead of meeting up with my husband at 4 am. So go on.” Laura said.
“I ended up with having a pulmonary embolism due to blood clots in my lungs and my leg which appeared because of pushing myself too hard to get back to work but also the hardware I had in my leg. I then ended up on blood thinners and was no longer cleared to work because I was now seen as a liability. They tried to give me light duty, but I was too stubborn and told Bobby that I quit.” Buck said.
“And your team did they disappear after that?” Laura asked.
“No not at first Eddie and his son Christopher kept me going, there was days when Carla or his Abuela couldn’t watch him, I did. Even after I lost him, he told me that he trusted me with him.” Buck said.
“Ok so you said that you lost him, how did you lose Christopher?” Laura asked.
“The tsunami, Chris and I were at the pier that day.” Buck said as Laura gasped. “We got separated and then I found him again, we made it to an abandoned fire truck, the firefighter in me had the need to save others. There was a surge and before I knew what happened Chris was gone; I dove in after him and searched finding his glasses but not him.” Buck said as he pulled his legs up to his chest.
“Did you ever find him?” Laura asked.
“No, I searched with a cut on my arm, on blood thinners, exhausted but I wasn’t giving up, I called my sister who is a 911 operator and told her she told me that I had to tell Eddie, but I was like no I needed to find him. But then there he was working at the tent helping other’s I hung up on my sister and knew I had to tell him.” Buck said.
“Take your time.” Laura said as Buck sat up straighter.
“Eddie saw me and how I looked asked if I was ok, I tried to tell him but he cut me off asking where Chris was and I tried again to tell him, he asked why I had Chris’s glasses around my neck, and then all I got out was I lost him, he was looking at me one minute and then past me the next, he said Chris’s name and walked away from me, there this lady she had Chris in her arms he was alive and safe. As I stood there watching them hug everything of the day caught up with me and I collapsed just as my Capitan, Chim and Hen got there.” Buck said wiping the tears.
“Well, that’s good that he was ok…” Laura was cut off.
“The next morning, he brought him to my apartment again for me to watch, when I asked why he told me that there isn’t any one in the world he trusts with his son more the me.” Buck said.
“How about we stop there for today and say meet again on tomorrow.” Laura said.
“Ok.” Buck said.
“And Buck do me a favor take this, and I want you to keep a journal of things that you are feeling.” Laura said as Buck took the book.
“Thank you Laura I feel a little better already.” Buck said as Laura handed him a piece of paper as well. “What is this.”
“It’s James number call him take him out for drinks, I need a break from his overprotection.” Laura said as Buck laughed as he smiled.
“Will do, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Buck said as he left the office, getting into the elevator, he called the number that Laura had given him.
“Hello?” He asked.
“Hey James, it’s Buck, Laura gave me your number, want to meet me for a beer at Jake’s?” Buck asked as he got into his jeep.
“Sure, man I could use a night out, I know I am driving her crazy. That and I don’t have many friends either.” James said.
“Cool see you later.” Buck said feeling a little lighter thing these past few weeks have been, the ringing of his phone brought him out of his thoughts as he pulled up to the grocery store right across from Jake’s.
“Hello, Buckley speaking.” Buck said.
“Hello Evan, this is Chief Flaherty, I am calling to let you know that you are reinstated and can return to work tomorrow morning at 9am. I am grateful for everything that you did to help out the department.” Chief Flaherty said.
“Sir, it may have been painful but knowing that my team is safe it was worth it, and that’s great news but can I push it back to 11 am I have an appointment tomorrow to see my therapist.” Buck said.
“Sure thing, I’ll tell Capitan Nash to not expect you till 11 am. And Buckley don’t make the city or LAFD down, you’re a damn good firefighter and you’ll make a great Capitan someday.” Chief Flaherty said as Buck smiled, he just hoped that everyone understood what he did and why he did it, he got out of the jeep and walked into the store.
“Thank you, sir.” Buck said as the two hung up, he was glad to be going back to work. Just as he was about go down another aisle, he ran into Bobby and Hen.
“Hello, Buck.” Bobby said.
“Hey Buck.” Hen said, “I am going to get the rest of this.”
“How are you?” Buck asked as Hen walked off.
“Hey, listen you’re going to get a call from the Chief there giving you job back, and he asked me if I wanted to transfer you and I said no I’d rather keep you where I can keep an eye on you.” Bobby said.
“You won’t regret this I promise.” Buck said.
“You might, remember my house my rules. I’ll see you tomorrow 9am sharp.” Bobby said.
“I already talked to the Chief and asked to come in at 11 instead I have a doctor’s appointment at 9am.” Buck said.
“Are you ok?” Bobby asked as Buck saw James standing by his Jeep waiting.
“Yes, it’s just these past few months have been tough, so I’ve started seeing a therapist.” Buck said, not realizing that the others were there now behind him.
“Why so you can sleep with this one too.” He said as Buck turned to see Chim smirking behind him. Buck was hurt that he brought that up, but he wasn’t going to let him get to him.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go.” Buck said as he dropped his basket and walked out of the store walking to his Jeep. As he was coming out of the store James saw how upset he looked and pulled him into a hug. He looked back at the store to see the three guys and the two girls looking their way.
“Come on man let’s go get those drinks.” James said as he kept his arm around Buck until they were out of sight. Stopping at the bar James ordered two beers and four shots letting them know they were going to sit at the corner table. “What happened?”
“That was the team. The Chief just called I got my job back I start tomorrow, after my appointment with Laura. Then I ran into Bobby, and he told me that he had the option to transfer me but declined so he could keep an eye on me. I said thanks and he said just remember my house, my rules. So, I said I’d be in at 11 and when Bobby asked why I told him I had a doctor’s appointment. And he asked if I was ok, and I said I was seeing a therapist.” Buck said.
“And one of them mentioned about you wanting to sleep with this one?” James asked.
“Yeah, it was bad enough that she was the one who came on to me, but I was made out to be the bad guy.” Buck said.
“What do you mean she came on to you, what were you seeing her for?” James asked.
“I stole a fire truck to have sex with a girl and got caught at that point in my life I was sleeping with someone just about every night, I was sent to see her cause of stealing the truck and the sex thing.” Buck said.
“And knowing that was one of the reasons you were there to see her she came on to you…” James said.
“And before I knew it, I was having sex with her on her couch, she was married with two kids, and I didn’t care. It’s why I hesitated when you suggested I go see your wife.” Buck said.
“Well, I trust my wife and I trust you Buck, so let’s drink and enjoy the night.” James said as they held up a shot.
“To new friendships.” Buck said.
“To new friendships.” James said as the two continued to just hang out and have a fun night talking about anything and everything.