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“The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.”
-W. H. Auden, ‘Stop all the Clocks, Cut Off the Telephone’
“...” The silence beat against Calvin’s ears.
“Why?”
“I…it’s not safe for me here. I don’t think it ever will be.”
“It’s not safe there, either, Freckle,” Ivy warned, “didn’t they just finish a civil war a few years ago?”
“I know Ireland enough to know where it’s safe. Cork is so far from all of that, really, I-”
“What makes it so impossible to stay?”
“Heller won’t track me to County Cork.”
“And what if he does!?” Ivy angrily retorted, “what if he goes across the sea, JUST to get you? What if one day you’re there and the next you wake up in some basement and he’s there with…with ropes and a gun and-”
“Ivy, he’s not going to go that far. I think gone might be enough if it’s far.”
“Then get gone! To defiance, or New York City, or…or goddamn Virginia Beach for all I care! Somewhere I can take a train t-”
“If you can take a train there then it’s too cl-”
“JUST LET ME BE IRRATIONAL!” Ivy spat the words, and got close to him. “I don’t WANT you to go to Ireland, i don’t WANT you to go to New York or Defiance or Virginia Beach, I want you to be here! With me!” She held both of his hands, and looked up, her eyes watering. “Please…stay.”
“Ivy…I…I want to write. I want to tell stories, I…” he slouched. “I’m not good fer this business.” He straightened his flat cap and separated from her. It was clear to Ivy that something else was up - his dreams hadn't stopped him from dirty work before, why now? She kept pressing.
“You've never let that stop you before.” Ivy said, standing in front of the Little Daisy’s doorway, blocking his exit. She looked angrily up at him. “You’re not leaving. Not until you tell me the truth.”
“Ivy, this is childish.”
“And so is running to another CONTINENT when you’re in a tiny bit of danger in this business!”
“I didn’t know what I was getting into!”
“Well, I’m sorry the job description you got from your deranged cousin wasn’t clear enough!”
“I couldn’t say no to him, he was desperate, I’d’ve done anything for him!”
“But you won’t do anything for me, will you!?” Ivy snarled through her tears. “Talk about loyalty, indeed!”
“Ivy-”
“I bet there’s another girl, isn’t there? Always, ALWAYS there’s another girl!”
“That-”
“I mean, what reason, what genuine reason, could you have to expect you’re in any danger that the rest of us aren’t coasting through with ease-”
“HE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE IVY.”
Calvin felt himself hurt his voice. He winced as he breathed in to speak again.
“Mordecai broke into my house. He left a note, a map of the place, and a few bullets.” He took the bullets from his pocket. “...he also trashed my room. Some letters were missing. My journal. You-” He hesitated. “...Your photograph.” Calvin sat in an empty booth, letting his trunk slam to the ground as he sat. He looked up.
“...he knows where I sleep. He knows he can get to you from me, and-…he knows too much.” He put his head in his hands. “If I go, he doesn’t FIND you. He doesn’t know where you are yet. At least, I don't...think he does? If I’m gone you-”
“I’m less safe.” She said.
“No, you-”
“Calvin.” She sat in the booth across from him. “If you’re gone when he finds me - and he will find me, whether you’re in Ireland or not - do you want to leave me with…with Rocky? Or some other hired gun?”
Calvin shook his head. “Mitzi could find a bodyguard if she felt she needed o-”
“Yer it, pretty boy!” Ivy retorted. “YOU’RE the bodyguard! And I LOVE that you’re the bodyguard, but that means you need to stay! When he finds me I’d rather you be able to come and fix him up. If you’re in Ireland, and…and he finds me-” She shivered. She didn’t seem to like the thought much.
“Well.” She looked down. “You wouldn’t even make it back for the funeral, by the time you heard.”
“...” Calvin rubbed his eyes. It was late, and the rain pelted the window, putting him in a tired state of mind. “Ivy…”
Calvin stood. He hugged her, tightly. “I need to think on it. I’ll come to see you first thing in the morning.”
“...You WILL come to see me before you do anything rash. That’s a statement of fact.”
“It is.”
Mitzi heard the door to the office swing open. “What in blazes was all that shouting about?”
“Mordecai broke into Calvin’s house.” Ivy said, frankly. “...He’s considering ireland.”
“...considering Ireland, I’m not followi-”
“He plans to move there.”
“...him? I mean, I know he picked it up in his voice from his mama, but…he isn’t that desperate, is he? It’s practically another planet!”
“He’s…” Ivy sat. “He thinks that…that Mordecai is trying to use him to get to me, I suppose. I know he’s got it in for me, Mordecai knows you and I are close. He knows I’d be more for you to lose.” Ivy heaved a tremendous breath.
“Calvin is just…a way to find me I guess. Calvin wants himself out of the equation. No him, no me.”
“Now, Ivy, I bet you Freckle’s got a point, but he knows you’re safer if he-”
“Stays, I know, I TOLD him.” Ivy shook her head, and sniffed. She began to choke up. “Because if he finds me anyway and he’s gone, I…I don’t like to think about it.”
“But suppose Calvin is wrong? Suppose he wants to just…outright off the boy?” Mitzi asked, sipping something in a crystal drinking glass. “What then? Maybe Calvin and you are better off in Ireland.”
“I’m staying in St. Louis - I don’t want to go run off someplace because of fear. I’d rather be a tourist than a goddamn prohibition refugee.”
“Ivy, he broke into his house! Surely he stole something…incriminatin’? Personal?”
“...I dunno what he knows,” Ivy shook her head, “but Calvin says he grabbed a journal. Hopefully for us it’s just his writing journal and not…the one where he keeps-” Her eyes shot wide open.
“Your dorm number?” Mitzi gasped. “Ivy Pepper!” She sounded like a spurned mother.
“I’m sorry, I-...i thought it would be safe! I didn’t know the guy was gonna start breaking into houses!”
“You trust that boy with information like that, written in a journal? You never told the other exes that, what makes you think-
“I love him!” Ivy said. “You…you don’t understand, something is different about Calvin! This isn’t some desperate fever dream or overenthusiasm, I love him, I need him in my life! I can’t-”
She was beginning to sob, “I can’t…”
“He can’t leave.” Mitzi hugged Ivy, tightly. “You’ll have to wait and see, my dear…and if he isn’t here tomorrow, I will be.”
“Mitzi…” Ivy cried into her shoulder. Mitzi was like a mother to her. She needed a mother right now.
We all do, sometimes.
The next morning, Ivy threw on a bathrobe over her night gown,to keep out the cold. She sighed and let her body adjust, shivering a little. Her roommates were gone to some…thing. She got a day a week with no classes, and this was it. She took full advantage.
She looked at her boudoir. A photo of herself. A charming picture of Mitzi.
Him.
He looked so…wide eyed, and tender, in that photograph. He said it was taken when he was fresh out of high school, and indeed, he’s in graduation regalia. She wasn’t sure why that one stuck out to her.
Perhaps that Calvin was safer. Perhaps he was more…himself. Not some scared, desperate man, not some deranged maniac with a gun, just…Calvin McMurray. Irish American, aspiring writer.
She loved that man. She loved every form of him, every moment of him…sometimes it changed, of course, what she felt…but it was always a kind of love.
She did not love knocks on the door, at this ungodly hour.
She fixed her hair quickly. “I’m covered up, I’ll be a moment, who is it?”
“Calvin.” A voice said from beyond the door.
She hurried, and opened it. She wasn’t going to pretend to be mad. She WAS mad. But she was more…worried.
She hugged him tightly as the door opened. He was in a trench coat, his flat cap, and otherwise normal clothes. He had a steamer trunk besi-
No. No, no, god no. Don’t.
“...I…suppose you’re leaving?” Ivy motioned to the steamer trunk.
“...this is Ma’s." Calvin said. Ivy's ears perked. Calvin continued. "She decided to go back.” He said, “she doesn’t want to be mixed up in this.”
“...you’re staying?” Ivy was equal parts elated and shocked.
“I’m staying nearby. I’m not sure where…probably at the Daisy. For a time.”
“...oh…” Ivy took a moment to think about what she’d heard. She nodded, and nestled into him. “So…you’re staying?”
“...I’m sorry I got so angry last night.” He said. “I know it’s frightening, and the last thing you needed was to be yelled at by me.”
“No, it’s…I’m sorry I got that loud too. I just-” She looked up. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“That’s why I wanted to leave, but-” Calvin looked down. “...If we have to go, we go together.”
“If we have to stay, we stay together.” Ivy replied. Ivy wasn’t one to bow to a demand without presenting her own.
Calvin nodded.
“...then I’ll stay.” He kissed her, and put a hand through her hair, closing the door behind him…
Mordecai walked into Asa’s office. “I’m close.” He said. “I got the boy’s diary.”
“...how in the hell’sat supposed to help us?”
“If we get him, we’ll get Rocky and Ivy. Mitzi’ll have to close up shop then.”
“I like your aim, boy.” Asa puffed on his cigar. “...no killin’ ‘em.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“I said no kill-”
“You told me to kill them.”
“Mordecai, my oy, relax! You haven’t started any’a that yet! Just…round ‘em up if you do.” Asa smirked.
“Make Mitzi think she’s got a chance.”
Mordecai left the room, wordlessly, and sighed. He looked out the window.
“I have GOT to find a new employer.”