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When the Akuma hits, they are standing together in the courtyard.
Adrien goes from looking at Nino to looking… up at the side of his own face between one blink and the next.
Not-Adrien cuts himself off in the middle of a laugh, puts a hand over his lips.
Somewhere in the background, Adrien registers people beginning to shout in alarm, but he can’t hear them clearly—it’s like his ears are full of cotton and he can’t really make much out over the blood rushing in his ears as his face turns a wide eyed expression towards…
He looks down at himself, at the clothes, at his chest—
Well, he’d recognize that embroidery anywhere, if he hadn’t been standing next to Marinette, anyway.
Akuma.
“Akuma.” someone says near them.
His body slams his hands over his ears, squeezes his eyes shut.
“Dude?” Alya’s voice says at the same time—
“Sunshine?” Nino’s voice says—
The two look at each other. Nino’s face gets a manic grin. Alya sighs, turns back to Adrien’s body.
Alya’s body leans over to clap a hand on not Adrien’s shoulder. “Uh… whoever you are-“
“Marinette,” Adrien interrupts, guessing.
“Dude?”
Adrien nods Marinette’s head.
Alya’s body (Nino) sighs again, this time with relief.
“Why is it so loud?” Adrien’s voice asks.
“I have excellent hearing,” he brags on reflex.
Marinette in Adrien’s body squints her eyes open, but keeps her ears covered.
“We should probably get somewhere safe,” Adrien decides if Marinette’s can’t take charge Chat Noir will, and begins to usher people into the school, since the Akuma isn’t actually here, as far as he can tell. Alya (in Nino) and a few other class representatives, presumably, also usher people in.
He keeps an eye on his body—he knows it’s Marinette in distress, but that’s still him—as Nino in Alya ushers her to the edge of the courtyard and Marinette begins to hyperventilate.
Is it wrong that he’s embarrassed? He is so embarrassed.
Not only because that’s him having a panic attack in public, but also because apparently Marinette finds being him so distressing.
He… really doesn’t mind being her. It’s a lot more pleasant than being Reflecta with those horrid shoes. Sure her hearing is muted and so is her vision and everything looks so much taller from six inches lower, but it’s—
Oh, god, Marinette looks nauseous, now. Adrien should never make that face.
They get most of the students inside and Adrien in Marinette and Alya in Nino can refocus on their friends, and the four of them trail behind the other students.
“Have you been sick all day?” Marinette asks with Adrien’s voice, making his face scrunch up in a way that might have been adorable on her face, but just makes Adrien’s look like he’d eaten something sour. At least the indoor light seemed to be bothering her less.
Adrien frowns, shaking his—Marinette’s head. The only thing wrong today had been— “Oh!” he figures it out, taps a closed fist on his palm, “Alya’s new perfume.”
“I’ve been wearing it for a week! If it makes you sick why didn’t you say something?!” It’s strange, hearing Nino’s voice so loud but still muted.
Nino in Alya’s body steps back from Adrien’s body, closer to Adrien in Marinette’s body.
Adrien rubs his temples. Okay, he’s gotta stop with these mental gymnastics. That’s just Marinette, Alya, and Nino. Their bodies aren’t the important part.
Marinette winces. That fact that she uses his face to do it isn’t important.
“You’ve felt like this all week?” Marinette asks, big… green… eyes a little wobbly.
Adrien has to look away. “I’m not usually that close to Alya for as long as you were next to Nino in her body.”
“Why didn’t you ask me to get rid of it?” Alya asks. “I’m sure Nino smells a little like my perfume, anyway.”
Adrien rubs his neck. “What was I supposed to say?”
Marinette scoffs, tries to imitate his voice with his voice, but he doesn’t think he’s ever moved his hands like that, “Hey, Alya, you’re gonna make me hurl.”
Adrien snorts. “It’s really not that bad.”
“If I am currently experiencing not that bad, I don’t want to find out what bad is.”
He blinks.
“And everything is so loud,” she continues, “are you sure you were feeling alright today? My head is starting to hurt.”
So is his, but he doesn’t think it has anything to do with her body.
And anyway, he needs to fix this whole mess so she can stop being distressed by his… existence.
He sighs, he would never leave a random teenager in charge of his body, so he’s really not sure how he’s supposed to escape to become Chat Noir with hers—that’s after he talks her into giving him his ring in a non-suspicious manor, like a normal ring wouldn’t be safer on a hand it fits, but actually…
“I have two pieces of jewelry on,” he starts, fully aware it’s a non-sequitor but also knowing his friends expect nothing less from him, “can I have them both? Please?”
She slips off his ring and he’s careful to close his hand around it quickly in case it changes shape as his hand (but her body) touches it, but then she pauses, looking down at herself. “Um…”
“It’s a necklace under my shirt,” he offers.
She slips it off, and he’s a little uncomfortable, squirming in place, as she examines it closely for a long time before handing it to him with a raised brow and a smirk—an expression that his face usually reserves for Chat Noir.
He slides the ring onto the kwagatama chain, relieved that the ring only shrank a little to fit her dainty hands, and he’s not entirely surprised when she asks for her own earrings and necklace in return.
He is surprised when he sees how familiar the pendant looks.
“Adrien and I need to talk,” his voice says, while he’s holding the necklace, stunned, and he couldn’t agree more.
She drags him to a supply closet and closes the door behind them, but then she just stares at him—and it’s really odd, staring into his own eyes, even if he thinks he’s never looked at anything with that kind of focus.
It makes him feel like a bug under a microscope. Ironic, considering…
“My Lady?”
“Kitty,” and then her lips are on his.
He’s not surprised by the rush of heat that surges through his borrowed body or the dampness between his legs that he realizes, suddenly, has increased but was already there when he got here, so the kiss barely lasts a second before he’s pushing her off of him with perhaps too much force, pushing her into the shelves right behind her in the too cramped supply closet.
Her body is stronger than he’d been expecting.
He kind of wants to ask if she’s on her period, or how he would know if it’s just started, but he’s pretty sure he’s just horny and that she’ll forgive him if he does bleed on her panties to save them the embarrassment of that conversation. He’ll buy her new ones.
It’s ridiculous that he wants to pull her back to him and kiss that confused expression away when she has his face, right?
He shakes his head. “Listen,” he starts, “I don’t know what my hormones are telling you, but you don’t want me. So let’s just decide who is using what miraculous and deal with this Akuma.”
She gasps, “What your hor—“ she covers her lips with her hand, flushing brighter than he thinks he’s ever managed with that face. He hopes, at least.
He looks away. “I think we should use the miraculous these bodies usually use, since we don’t know what the range on the attack—“
“I’m in love with you.”
He sighs. Clearly, focusing on the battle is something her body is better at than his. He’s not sure if that makes him feel better or worse about how distractible he usually is. “Since we don’t know how many people have been swapped, we don’t want to give away that we’re among—” he continues, but then she’s grabbing his cheeks and making him turn his head.
“You’re not listening to me.”
“You’re listening to my hormones, Marinette.” It’s even more embarrassing to point out a second time, so thanks for that, “You’re not anymore in love with me than you were twenty minutes ago.”
“Pretty in love with you, then.”
He blinks at that. “What?”
“I’ve been in love with Adrien for ages.”
“But… the boy?”
She nods.
Oh.
Oh.
But, “Why are you telling me now?”
She brings her hands to her chest and he already misses the warmth, even if it had felt a little… odd, to have such large hands on his cheeks.
“I… thought you were in love with someone else.”
He snorts. “So did I.” And, he’s not sure why he’s looking a gift horse in the mouth except that he doesn’t want the city to fall, so it’s a fitting metaphor, “But Ladybug doesn’t love Chat Noir.”
She puts her hands on her hips and Adrien takes in the pose with an internal wince—that only looks cute on her, too. “Ladybug and Chat Noir are superheroes with a job to do and—and Ladybug would never tell Chat Noir that she’s in love with him while she’s in love with another boy, too. I just… I loved Adrien first.”
She could have. She could have told him she’d asked out a hundred guys before settling for him and he’d have taken it. But he knows her well enough not to say that.
Instead he— well he pulls her down so that he can kiss her.
And he thinks he maybe shouldn’t like it as much as he does—he’s only been interested in a handful of people and none of them have been this much taller than him, none of his Ladybug fantasies have been this strange—but this makes perfect sense for them.
Her hands lock around his waist.
Of course their first kiss, the first one he—god he hopes he remembers this—the first one he remembers is one where he’s kissing himself as much as he’s kissing Ladybug.
Talk about learning to love yourself.
“Adrien,” she moans against his mouth, and fuck should that be making him wetter and tingly all over? The sound of his own voice, shaky with desire?
“Marinette,” he sighs, and her hips shift forward and he’s a little proud of how big his cock feels pressed against his hip when he’s in a body this short.
And people already thought he was cocky.
He presses forward.
She moans again, but pulls back, dazed. She looks down and flushes bright red. “Oh my god I am so sorry!” She slams back into the shelves, pushing him away.
He hums, wiping his lips on his sleeve. “What for?”
“I mean, your body is… it’s…”
“Reacting to the most beautiful girl in the world? Yes,” he knows he wouldn’t be this calm about it if he was actually in his body, but he’s not, and he’s very aware of how her body is reacting, too, a pulsing between his legs, so, “You’re not used to it. It’s understandable.”
“I can’t fight like this!”
He shrugs. “The suit’ll hold it down.”
“Adrien!”