Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man, his king, and a bunny

Wandering through the woods on horseback with his knights and manservant was one of Arthur’s favorite things to do. It was always nice to get away from his princely duties, Morgana and her annoying ways, and his father, at least for a little while. They had been riding for a couple hours through the woods bordering Camelot on a hunting trip. They had nothing to show for it and the blame lied solely with Merlin. It was always Merlin. Clumsy, a buffoon, and a girl’s petticoat. If Arthur didn’t need Merlin to tend to him 24/7, he would have sent him to the stocks for his meddling, but even that had lost its appeal by this point.

”I think here is a good place to rest,” Arthur said, his fist in the air signaling Merlin and the knights to stop their horses from trudging any farther ahead. Looking up to the sky, Arthur shielded his eyes from the blinding sun and nodded in satisfaction. “We should make it back to Camelot within the next couple hours.”

He turned to Merlin and thrust his water skin at him. He was thirsty and it was Merlin’s job to appease him, whether he liked it or not. Judging by the massive eye roll he received for the gesture, he figured Merlin did not like it.

Without saying a word, Merlin disappeared into the woods in search of a bubbling brook. While he did that, Arthur hopped off his horse and made his way over to a downed tree. Undoing his pants, Arthur hovered over the trunk and let duty call.

Like every man, Arthur enjoyed peace and quiet when he had to drop a log. Granted, he’d prefer to do it in the privacy of his chambers with a chamber pot. But when out in the woods, he had to make do with what nature would give him. The knights were always genial and would turn away from their king while he did the deed.

Except for Gwaine. And so Arthur really should have expected it when Gwaine traipsed over to him for a chat.

”Hello, Princess,” Gwaine grinned as he stood before his king, shading him from the midday sun. “Got a question for you.”

”Can it wait, Sir Gwaine?” Arthur looked up at him with an icy glare. “Kind of in the middle of something.”

Gwaine made a pensive face for half a second before returning to his amused expression. “It could, but the sooner I ask it, the sooner I can leave you be.”

Arthur gestured to Gwaine to get on with it. And if his middle finger stuck out like a lone soldier for just a second too long, so be it.

Snickering, Gwaine carried on with his inquisition. “Tomorrow’s Merls’ birthday. Did you know that?”

”I do. He is my manservant, and I his employer. It wouldn’t do me any good not knowing.” Arthur grimaced as he let out a ripe fart. “Why do you ask?”

”Do you have a gift for him yet? The knights and I did our shopping in the lower town yesterday and it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen you down there.”

Arthur frowned. He hadn’t realized he had been so obvious. That was not good. Not good at all. And his silence spoke volumes to his knights.

Lancelot turned around and approached Arthur with an apologetic smile. Arthur inwardly groaned while he outwardly let out another fart. He really just wanted a little bit of privacy. Just a couple minutes was all he could hope for. But it didn’t look like he was going to get it.

”Sire, do you need help finding something? Between the six of us, I’m sure we could come up with something for Merlin.”

The other knights then turned around and joined Arthur, Gwaine and Lancelot. They all nodded in agreement and offered ideas. Arthur held up a hand to silence them. If he let out another fart during the silence, no one brought it up. Arthur could only be grateful for small favors.

”I would appreciate your help. Merlin has been under my employ for a couple years now. His gift should be something…special. Nothing that you would give to a stranger.” He looked at his knights - Gwaine, Lancelot, Leon, Percival and Elyan - and stressed the most important fact of all. “He would go above and beyond for me, and so shall I for him.”

”That’s very honorable of you, sire,” Leon chimed in. “Only a few short years ago, you wouldn’t have ever posited the idea of such a thing.”

”He’s taught me a lot,” was all Arthur could say before farting…again.

”I’m sure we will find something that will bring tears to his eyes,” Elyan said.

”I think just a quill would bring tears to his eyes,” Percival said in jest. But he wasn’t wrong. Merlin cried at everything.

Just as the knights dispersed, Arthur found that he had finished emptying his bowels. So much for privacy. Sighing heavily, he stood up and wiped his arse clean before returning to his horse. The quietness was what caught Arthur’s attention first. Usually he couldn’t stop the constant buzzing that was Merlin’s voice. So the silence perturbed him.

”Has anyone seen Merlin?” Arthur asked his knights. The dawning realization that no, none of them had, had his stomach dropping fast.

In unison, Arthur and the knights whipped out their swords and proceeded with caution down the dirt path. They tracked Merlin’s footsteps while keeping their eyes peeled for bandits or any other kind of danger that may have befallen their friend. They stopped dead in their tracks when they came upon the bubbling brook. Each one of them had a different reaction.

Leon didn’t know what to make of the sight before him.

Lancelot could only shake his head.

Elyan chose to look anywhere but in front of him.

Percival looked down at his feet to hide a smile.

Gwaine leered lecherously.

And as for Arthur? He stalked forward, glaring daggers at the only thing he could see - an arse sticking out of a bush. He’d know that bony arse anywhere. He’d seen it enough times, sticking out from wherever Merlin had chosen to cower during a bandit attack. A quick scan upon coming upon Merlin’s arse sticking out of the bush told him that there were no bandits to be found, presently or in the past. Which only meant one thing…Merlin was being Merlin.

Indignantly, Arthur decided to go the extra mile by none too gently sticking the toe of his boot into the crevice of Merlin’s arse cheeks and nudging him.

Merlin let out a yelp at the sudden intrusion, but made no move to come out.

”What in the Gods names are you doing in a bush, Merlin? You are supposed to be filling up my water skin.”

Arthur expected an answer. What he got instead was a shush. His eyes widened in shock.

”Merlin!” Arthur cried out in anger. “Do we need to have another discussion about how you are to never shush royalty?”

Merlin chose to shush him again and Arthur saw red. He really should have seen that one coming. Merlin was never one to respect royalty, or to abide by any orders that Arthur gave him. 

“You have five seconds to come out of that bush or I will drag you out with my bare hands,” Arthur spat out through gritted teeth. “One, two, three, four, five.”

Merlin remained where he was. With a shake of his head, Arthur took off his riding gloves and slammed them on the ground. “You had your chance.” He knelt down behind Merlin’s arse and placed his large hands on either side of Merlin’s thin waist. With all the strength that he could muster, and being angry, he mustered a lot, Arthur tugged hard.

”Wha — Arthur!” Merlin cried out in horror as he went flying out of the bush and onto Arthur’s front.

In the distance, Arthur could hear the knights laughing. He was having none of it. “Merlin! Get off, you dollophead!!”

”I wouldn’t be on top of you, sire, if you hadn’t so rudely yanked me.” He stood up but made no move to help Arthur to his feet. “And that’s my word.”

”And it suits you,” Arthur growled as he clambered to his feet on his own. His eyes narrowed with suspicion when he saw that Merlin was holding something carefully in his arms. “Is that a rabbit?”

”No,” Merlin answered simply.

”It clearly is,” Arthur scoffed.

”It clearly is not, Arthur,” Merlin said snootily. “It’s a baby, therefore it is a bunny. Rabbits are adults.”

“Well, excuse me, Merlin,” Arthur said with a roll of his eyes. “Why do you have it?”

“I think it was lost,” Merlin replied. “It was shaking like a leaf when I came upon it while filling up your water skin.” He took the water skin out from the front of his trousers and handed it back to Arthur.

Arthur looked at it, his face going slightly green upon feeling its warmth. “I thank you greatly,” he said sarcastically.

Merlin ignored him, choosing to pet the bunny and talk in a baby voice at it. Arthur looked up to see all the knights swooning at the rabbit.

”You are such a girl, Merlin,” Arthur said. “The knights too.”

”And you’re a dick,” Merlin snapped back.

Arthur gaped at Merlin. Of all the times Merlin had snapped back, he’d never done so so vehemently. And never in front of the knights.

”I am your prince, Merlin. You cannot talk to me in that way!”

”Well, I did and I’d do it again. Someone has to bring you down from the clouds. Your arse is already the biggest part of your body. No need to let your head outpace it.”

Arthur’s jaw dropped and his patience became non-existent. “I could have you put in the stocks for that comment.”

”But you won’t,” Merlin said simply as he placed a chaste kiss on the bunny’s head. 

”Don’t tell me what I will and will not do!” Arthur tugged at his hair, completely fed up now. “I am the prince. You are the manservant.” He stopped his princely tirade upon seeing Merlin studying the rabbit’s belly. “Are you a veterinarian now?”

Merlin ignored Arthur and looked over at the knights who were all grinning with glee and amusement. “I believe Gaius has some rabbit feed. We should head back to Camelot before this poor thing starves to death. Leon, may I borrow your cape to wrap it up in?”

”Of course, Merlin.” Leon unclamped his cape and tossed it over to Merlin.

Behind Merlin, Arthur observed the scene before him in bewilderment. His mouth was opening and closing much like a goldfish’s would. He was in disbelief of Merlin commanding, and in even greater disbelief that his knights were obeying and leaving him behind to make haste to the horses.

“Since when do you answer to him?! You are to answer to me,” he sputtered.

Gwaine looked over his shoulder and grinned. “You coming, Princess? I don’t think Merlin is keen on waiting for you.”

With a huff and a childish stomp, Arthur bent down to retrieve his riding gloves and followed them all back. He was not conceding. Just biding his time. Or so he told himself on the trek back to Camelot.

Chapter Text

Arthur couldn't believe how his day was going. If someone had told him that his day would end with Merlin and his knights cooing over a bunny rabbit, he would have sent them to the stocks. Because that was exactly what was happening before his eyes at that very moment.

Merlin and the knights were crowded around the table in Gaius's chambers and gushing over the bunny rabbit as it did nothing but look at them and wriggle its nose. Arthur stood far away from them with his arms crossed over his chest and scowling. He glanced at the window and saw that the sun had almost nearly set in its entirety. He was done.

"Now that the rabbit has been fed and given some TLC, I think it's high time that Merlin sends it back off into the forest to be with the rest of its ilk," said Arthur.

Merlin snapped his head up and gave him a withering glare. "And you call me the imbecile?!" Merlin huffed. "Arthur, did you not see that it was all alone when I found it? It can't possibly be sent back into the forest. It'll meet its death."

Arthur was unfazed. With a blank expression, he explained, "That is the way of life, Merlin. You'd be well pressed to remember that."

"I'm not sending it back out there." Merlin crossed his arms and scowled back at Arthur. The knights and the bunny watched with amusement. "I will just have to adopt it."

Arthur's arms fell to his side and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets  "You most certainly will not! Must I remind you again, Merlin that are but a servant? You cannot legally own a pet."

"What?! That's preposterous!" Merlin's arms too fell to his sides as he began balking at the notion that he can't own a pet because of his station. He looks to the knights for an answer.

Leon is the one who ultimately lets Merlin down, gently and with a solemn smile. "Alas, it's true, my friend. Servants cannot own any kind of animals. Not even a bug."

Merlin looked down at the bunny which was now on its back having its tummy rubbed by one of Percival's fingers. He looked back at Arthur, tears beginning to well in his eyes at having to say goodbye to the bunny. "What if we don't tell anyone?" he suggested. "No one would have to know."

Lancelot stepped up beside Merlin and rubbed small circles on his back. "But where would it stay, Merlin? Certainly not here. Look around. There's too many potions and medicinal herbs that it could ingest, which could be deadly. It won't know the difference between a good plant and a bad one."

"Can it stay with one of you?" Merlin looked to the knights who all shook their heads.

"Sorry, Merls," Gwaine piped up. "Knights keep their swords with them at all times. Too pointy of an object to be around this little fella."

Merlin started to cry upon seeing there was no hope at all at keeping the bunny in his life. He then looked at Arthur who was working overtime at keeping his expression neutral. Arthur always did have a weak spot at seeing Merlin sad.

"Can it stay in your chambers, Arthur?"

"My chambers?!" Arthur asked in shock. "Absolutely not! I am a prince, Merlin. And princes do not keep rabbits as pets." Upon seeing Merlin's put upon expression, he amended, "Or bunnies. So, the answer is no. No, no, no. End of discussion."

Arthur gave one last glare at all his knights for not backing him up before storming out of the room. As he opened the door, he heard Merlin let out a choked sob. He looked over his shoulder to see Merlin talking to the bunny.

"You can always come and visit. My window faces the forest. I'll look out every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to bed, okay?"

Gwaine spotted Arthur in the doorway and walked over to him with a small grin plastered on his face. "You know, princess," he said. "This would be a special birthday gift, would it not?"

With a sigh, Arthur closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew Gwaine was right and he hated that. Cursing under his breath, he re-entered the room.

"It can stay in my room. Consider it a birthday gift, Merlin."

Everyone looked at Arthur in shock, none more than Merlin. Their eyes met and Arthur smiled kindly. Merlin's face instantly brightened up, but before he could thank Arthur, he was cut off.

"But you will be the one to feed it, bathe it, clean up after it, and care for it. You and you alone." Arthur looked at the knights to stress this point home.

"Of course!" Merlin chirped. "Oh, thank you so much, Arthur! I promise I will be the best parent to this bunny. You will not regret it."

Arthur's scowl returned as he finally walked out of the room. Under his breath, he added, "I think I already am."