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Chapter Text

The Byers’ house is almost all packed up. He walks down the hallway to Will’s room, and sees El with her arm outstretched and straining upwards towards the closet. 

“They’ll come back,” he moves into the room, ”I know they will.” 

He stands next to El and grabs the bear from the top shelf. It’s kinda crazy how easy it is for him now. He remembers being six and thinking that the top shelf seemed impossibly far away. Now he reaches right to the back no problem. He hands the bear to El and stands a step away from her. 

“You packed your walkie, right?” 

“Yes.”

“Because you know I'm gonna steal Cerebro from Dustin and call you so much you’re gonna have to turn it off right?”

She chuckles, then asks, “Did you talk to your mom? About Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the ok, I’ll be there. And maybe you could come up here for Christmas. And Will too! You can come before or after Christmas or whatever Mrs. Byers wants. But I was thinking Christmas Day could be super fun because we’d all have cool new presents to play with and, uh…” What is he saying? He scoffs, “Sorry, that made me sound like a seven year old.” 

El only shrugs lightly and makes an awkward expression before saying, “I like presents too.”

The way she says it, as if she’s unsure…Mike wonders if she’s even celebrated Christmas before? 

He says, “Yeah, cool. Yeah. I like– I like presents too.” He mentally facepalms. Duh, you just rambled about playing with toys for a whole minute!

She looks down and says, “Cool,” before walking past him. God, why was that so weird?  

“Mike?” 

He turns around, still feeling awkward. What does she have left to say to him?

“Remember that day? At the cabin, you were talking to Max?”

The day at the cabin? With the monster? 

“Umm…I don't think I follow.”

“You talked about your– your feelings. Your heart.” 

Oh, before the monster, then.

“Oh! Oh yeah, that. Man that was so long ago…” he scratches his head–he doesn’t really remember what he said. He said a lot around that time (It’s not my fault you–) 

“That was just heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing and…I don’t really remember…what did I say, exactly?”

“Mike…” She walks towards him with wide, doe eyes…this isn’t about when he– 

She’s right in front of him and puts her hand on his cheek. She says, “I love you, too.”

Oh. His mind replays “I love her and I can’t lose her again!” as she leans up and kisses him. He looks at her closed eyelids. Why is this weirder than before? Earlier this year he could kiss her no problem. It was just, like, super boring. But they were dating and that's what couples did. He thought maybe if they kissed more he would eventually like it; what if he just wasn't mature enough to enjoy it yet?

But now the summer's gone by and kissing her only feels worse. It’s too much. He thinks about his conversation with Will...wait, what?

El stops kissing him and turns and walks away. Huh? What happens now? Are they dating again…? But she's leaving for California. This whole summer she hadn’t shown any interest in dating him, so what happened? Why confess her love now? He really doesn't understand El. Or girls in general. 

He doesn't have time to dwell on it though, because the Byers are leaving now. Will is leaving. (And El, but they already had their weird goodbye.)

Out front, he hugs Will and Will hugs tightly back. Mike’s chest constricts: Will's really leaving. They're not gonna go to high school together. He’s not going to see Will every day, or get to hold him like this. Or not like, hold him–that sounds girly. But, like, hug him whenever he wants to. Get to be in Will's general proximity. Stuff like that.

He hugs El too. That's less comfortable since he doesn't know where they stand as a couple. She pushes their foreheads together. Mike thinks about how he doesn’t really wanna be this close.  

He watches El and Mrs. Byers get in the U-Haul. Jonathan and Will climb into the car. He can tell Will is crying. Mike’s breath keeps hitching and he wills himself not to cry as he watches the cars get farther away. He takes one last look at the house–a house that is almost as familiar as his own–before biking away.

As he bikes home, he tries to make sense of why he had thought of Will as El kissed him.

It's not because he wants to…no, no, he dated El. He can’t be… that way. 

He decides it's because he had just talked to Will. And what Will said was really important to Mike; it reaffirmed that their friendship would stay intact even if they're far away from each other. So when El kissed him…his mind wandered for a sec. Yeah, of course, 'cause kissing was boring and uncomfortable anyways. It's just a coincidence that what was on his mind was Will's words. 

Something still feels wrong though. He feels numb. When he gets home, he hugs his mom on instinct, but his mind is elsewhere.

***

The next week sucks, and high school hasn't even started yet. He spends most of his time moping around the basement. He misses them so much. Once school starts, he feels strangely lonely. Of course, Dustin and Lucas and Max are there. But it's not the same. He keeps turning to catch Will's reaction to a joke Dustin said, or saving up stories from his classes to share with Will later. He always expected that they'd be in school together forever…well, maybe college will be different, but that's so far in the future it doesn't even count. 

When he thinks the Byers are probably settled at their house, he drafts a letter to Will:

Dear Will,

I hope you guys have settled into your house ok by now. What's your room like? Do you have any of your drawings up on the wall? I know you don't really like to display your art (which is stupid, by the way, 'cause it's amazing) but I think you should put at least *one* up…what about one of the Party as our characters? That way you don't forget us.

It's been *so* weird without you here. I hope you meant what you said, about not joining a new party…I don't know what'd I do if you suddenly got a whole bunch of new Californian friends and never came back to see us again. It totally sucks going to high school, by the way. I hope your school doesn't suck, but here it's been so boring and the days are *endless*. I keep planning to tell you things at the end of the day, and then I remember you're not here…

I guess that's a long way of saying I miss you a lot But I really hope you're having a good time in California. You'll tell me about all the cool things you do, right? 

Please call once you can, I wanna hear everything. :)

Love,

Mike  

He rereads his words– ugh, it sounds depressing. And somehow it feels too…personal. He can't send this to Will. He scraps it and starts writing to El: 

Hi El! 

Hope you guys made it to California ok! Is the weather super different there? Are there like, cactuses instead of trees? Do people dress weird? 

I hope the start of high school is going well for you! I know it's your first time even *going* to school, so hopefully everyone is nice. Don't worry, you learned a lot this summer and you're smart, so you'll do great :) You're also way cooler than me so I bet people will want to be your friend. It's too bad you can't impress people with your powers, but I'm sure you'll get them back eventually! 

How are Will and Jonathan? Are they doing ok? Be sure to tell them I said hi! 

Hope you have a good day!

From, 

Mike 

(P.S. about the kiss…are we…dating again? If that's what you want, that's cool! We can be long distance, we'll just write lots of letters like this one! Let me know~)

That was way easier–maybe letters are just a girlfriend thing. When she sends their phone number, he'll call Will right away. 

***

On the fourth day of school, there's Club Fair. The freshmen are given a longer homeroom so they can walk through it. He waits for Lucas and Dustin to arrive at the gym. Mike's not super interested in joining any clubs, unless there's A/V or maybe a literature club or something. (He hopes there's no, like, A/V blacklist for "destroying your school's big fancy radio when you were twelve.") 

Lucas and Dustin arrive at the same time. 

Dustin says grandly, "You guys ready to explore the exciting, unknown world also known as…high school extracurriculars!"

Mike shrugs and Lucas side-eyes him. 

"What? Oh, you guys are no fun," Dustin pouts.

Lucas scans the room, then says, "Let's go this way." He leads them towards the sports section. 

Mike's definitely not joining any sports teams, but he has no preference for where they start and follows Lucas without protest. He's kinda over this already. 

Dustin complains, "Sports? So you were serious when you said you wanted to play basketball this year?"

Lucas rolls his eyes, "Yes, Dustin, I was serious…did you think I was just shooting hoops for no reason this summer?"

"But…if this is for popularity, couldn't you like, join the student council or something? The whole system is essentially a popularity contest."

Lucas looks over at Dustin and huffs a frustrated sigh. 

"Look, you wouldn't understand, okay? Just let me do this." He moves ahead of them to the basketball table. Dustin turns to Mike with a baffled expression. 

"What wouldn't I understand?" Mike simply shrugs and looks around. If he had to guess…well, it's not like Hawkins has a lot of Black students, but there seems to be more of them over here. So it could be related to that.

But wait, is it racist to assume it's a race thing? Mike feels uncomfortable, so he drops the topic mentally. His eyes stray past the soccer table, the cheerleaders, the wrestlers…wait. Some of the wrestlers are wearing their uniforms and… wow, do those shorts really need to be that short? What happened to the school dress code? Is it, like, getting hot in here or something? 

He nudges Dustin and points with his chin. 

"Do you see those guys over there?" 

"Who? The soccer team?" 

"No, the guys in uniforms." 

"Oh…the wrestlers? Yeah, what about them?" A pause, and then, "Don't tell me you want to do wrestling !" He says this way too loud. 

"Shhh! No, obviously not," Mike rolls his eyes internally. What is Dustin not understanding? 

"Why do they have to wear them just to sit out here? Don't their– won't their legs get cold, or something?" 

Dustin looks at him like he's speaking Chinese. "What? I dunno, dude. It's probably like, for school spirit or whatever. The cheerleaders are doing the same thing." 

Huh? Oh…they are wearing their cheer uniforms. But that's– that's different, obviously. 'Cause they're girls, and girls wear skirts all the time. The boys, though…

Mike swallows and looks to the other side of the gym. His eye catches on a really sick looking poster, and there's images he recognizes on it. 

"Oh hey, dude!" He nudges Dustin more forcefully this time. "Look across the gym, do you see the poster with the dice?" 

"Huh? …Ohhh, shit dude, no way! We gotta go over there. Where's Lucas?" 

They grab Lucas and head in that direction. There's a few older guys manning the table. One guy is talking animatedly to another freshman. He's…wow, he looks really cool. 

His long, curly hair is past his shoulders, like a rockstar's. His jacket is covered in patches with names of…bands? Mike doesn’t recognize most of them. But that's fine–people with weird music taste are usually cool, like Jonathan is. Not– not that he thinks Jonathan's cool– ugh, as if! That's like thinking Nancy was cool or something. But Will really admires him, so that's enough for Mike to recognize that eccentric music taste equals coolness.

The other freshman leaves and the cool guy calls after him, "It's your loss! Good luck staying brainwashed by suburbia!"

He stops and his gaze moves forward. He sees them standing a bit away and points at them.

"You three. Come closer."

They shuffle forward awkwardly. He turns to another guy at the table and says to him, "Gareth! Look at these three! Don't they seem like lost sheep?" 

The guy–Gareth–frowns slightly, but nods in a whatever you say kinda way. 

Cool guy turns back and says, "This is a hunch, but I think you'll fit in just right with this club! You kids ever heard of a game called Dungeons and Dragons ?”

Dustin says, “Um, duh, that’s why we came over here?” 

The guy’s face lights up.

“Oh, perfect! What'd I tell ya Gareth, my hunches are always correct!" He calls behind him. 

Gareth says, "That last kid walked away, though."

"That was different! Don't try to diminish my image in front of the new sheep!"

Gareth rolls his eyes after the cool one turns back around and says, "My name’s Eddie, by the way, aka the Grand Dungeon Master of Hellfire. We meet every Friday, and yes , that includes tomorrow! Since you’re already familiar with the game, I expect to see you there, yes? It’s very important that you’re there for the start of the campaign.”

They all nod with varying degrees of enthusiasm. He claps once and gestures theatrically, "Well, be off, new friends, and I will see you tomorrow at the theater."

They put their names down on a sign-up sheet and keep wandering around the fair until their next class starts. They briefly discuss what they think Hellfire will be like with Eddie as DM. Mike wants to bring up his outfit, but fears a repeat of the wrestler uniform conversation, so he stays quiet. But surely they noticed it, right? It's part of what makes joining this club so exciting is Eddie's edgy persona. 

***

The events of the Club Fair replay in the back of his mind for the rest of the day. The wrestler thing was...weird, because Mike thought it was clearly noteworthy that you could see most of their legs. And it’s– it’s not like he’s never seen guys in shorts before, but this was different. He can’t fully explain why though…or maybe he can, but something in his brain is stopping him from delving any further. Anyway, he’s really excited for the first meeting of the "Hellfire" club tomorrow. He was avoiding the game for stupid reasons, but he’s ready to get back into it. He momentarily feels guilty because Will promised him that he wouldn’t join another Party, so shouldn’t Mike also do the same? But technically , Mike didn’t make the same promise. And wouldn’t Will be happy to learn that Mike is interested in playing their favorite game again? That's what he tells himself to avoid a guilty conscience. 

***

He spends Friday counting down the hours until he can go to Hellfire. The meeting turns out even better than he anticipated. It was awesome to meet other people who are just as excited about DnD as he and his friends are. Eddie's an amazing DM. Mike can tell the campaign is intricately planned and will never be dull. Though, part of the intrigue is Eddie himself. He had a leather jacket on and a handcuff-clasp belt. (Which is obviously something anyone would notice, 'cause it's so different to what anyone else wears…right?)  Regardless, Eddie seems to have no fears about being himself. He wears the clothes and acts the part of the town pariah; he's everything that makes all the "respectable" parents of Hawkins nervous. Eddie almost seems to enjoy being a “freak," based on what Mike's seen of him around school. Mike wishes he had that kind of confidence. 

After Hellfire that night while he's getting ready for bed, he feels off in some undefinable way. Which is weird, because Hellfire was totally awesome. As he thinks it over, he realizes it's because he's missing Will again. When they used to imagine what high school would be like, this is exactly the kind of club they dreamed would exist.  But now Will's not here to experience it with him…and with the rest of the Party, of course. He starts to think that maybe he should try and write that letter to Will, to let him know about the club and then use the letters to trade high school stories. But it's not the same as being in school together. Plus, every letter he composes in his head has that same sad quality as his first version. 

He sighs and turns on his side. His eyes land on his Conan the Barbarian poster. He'd hung it up because, well, one because he liked the movie. Two, he thought maybe it would help "awaken" whatever sexual feelings he's supposed to experience. He doesn't know what it's supposed to feel like, but Valeria's in a…suggestive pose, so he's gotta feel something eventually, right? Or maybe adults are just exaggerating when they talk about lust and sex, because he can tell Valeria's supposed to be "sexy," it just doesn’t mean much to him. He can at least admit that she's pretty. And her chest is very… exposed . Guys are supposed to like that, right? Maybe he's just not mature enough to appreciate it. Though how good could sex even be? Sex is for making babies, right? And that's just…ew.  Why would he wanna do that? He scrunches his face in distaste and turns away. That's enough of those thoughts for today.

Chapter Text

A few days go by and he still hasn't written a new letter to Will. He starts wondering if he should try reaching him on the Cerebro, but then he remembers he told El he'd call her on there all the time. He hasn't yet, and he almost doesn't want to because…what would they even talk about? Maybe he'll wait until he gets El's letter and she confirms if they're dating or not. He wishes he understood why she kissed him, and why it felt so bad this time. Maybe it was…the bitterness of knowing she was leaving…yeah, sure, that’s it.

Meanwhile, he settles into the rhythm of high school. He tries not to feel the absence of Will at every turn. He goes to Hellfire Club and sits mesmerized by Eddie's storytelling. He maybe finds himself in the hallway where the wrestling championship case is more often than he needs to be. He tells himself it’s his subconscious telling him he's going to be a jock after all and that starts with taking longer walks to class. 

***

He's at lunch with Dustin, Lucas, and Max, and somehow the topic of girlfriends comes up. Now that he's no longer trying to date El, he kind of understands why Will thought he and Lucas were so annoying last summer. Dustin's talking about a new plan he's coming up with Suzie. 

"So, get this, Suzie's a computer science genius, right? She was telling me how she's teaching herself coding by building a computer program of her own, and I asked how she's learning everything. She said she's studying programs that already exist, so that's when I thought, Hey! You know what place has a complex program?" He pauses for dramatic effect. "The Hawkins High registrar."

Lucas and Max are across from Dustin and Mike, and they don't look very impressed. 

"So what?" Max asks. 

"So, I asked her if it would help her learn if she "studied" the Hawkins High system." 

Max and Lucas process this information. Then Lucas says, "Are you…asking your girlfriend to hack into the school's computers?"

"Don't say it so loud! And technically, it's hacking, yes. BUT I prefer to call it a learning opportunity." 

Max says, "Isn't she Mormon? Doesn't committing fraud, like, go against God or something?" 

"Who said anything about fraud!" 

"Oh, so you want me to believe you have no ulterior motive for getting her to hack into the school?" Max raises a disbelieving eyebrow. 

Dustin scoffs, "First of all, I do genuinely think it would be good coding experience. Second, I'm not gonna ask her to do anything right away, obviously–" 

"Oh, here we go," Max cuts in.

"Hey! If she's not comfortable with it, I'll think of something else. But I think I can be pretty convincing," Dustin says smugly.

Lucas shakes his head, "Man, she must really like you." 

"She does! We really hit it off at science camp!"

"And somehow you convinced her to keep dating you," Max says in fake wonder. 

Dustin puts a hand to his chest.

"Ouch, Max, I'm hurt by your pessimism."

"I'm just teasing! Once we learned that she's real, it's actually easy to believe you guys are together." 

This conversation is getting Mike thinking: maybe he should ask Dustin how to do the long distance girlfriend thing. So he asks, "Hey, how did you figure out the long distance thing, anyway?" 

Dustin turns to him surprised, since he's been silent the rest of the conversation.

"Um, you mean beyond setting up Cerebro so we can talk without parent interruption?"

"Uh, yeah, like…so you guys started dating at camp, and then agreed to keep dating, but…you're far away so…I dunno, how do you know you're still a couple when you can't do couple things?" 

Dustin gives Mike a scrutinizing gaze and doesn't say anything for a minute until he says, "Why do you want to know? Is this about El?" 

Lucas gasps and says, "Are you trying to get back with her?" 

"What, no!" He says automatically. Max glares at him and Lucas and Dustin give him confused expressions. He backtracks, "I– I mean, I think she wants to get back with me. And I'm not sure how that works if we're long distance." 

"Why do you think she wants to get back with you?" Max asks. 

He feels awkward about admitting it all of a sudden. He nervously scratches the back of his head and says, "Well, before she left with the Byers, she, uh, she said she…loved me. And, uh, she…kissed me." His cheeks flush with the last words. 

Max's mouth hangs slightly open in shock. Lucas says, "Woah, really?" And Dustin thumps him on the back and says, "Dude! That's awesome! Why didn't you mention this before?"

"I– I dunno…"

"Well, that's a super clear sign that she wants you back if she kissed you! And said she loved you?! What can't you figure out?" 

He sighs frustratedly and says, "But being a couple…if I can't kiss her, then what's the difference from her just being my friend?" 

They're all giving him weird looks. 

Max says, "Dating someone isn't just about the kissing, you know." 

Lucas nods in agreement and says, "Yeah, when you wanna date someone, it's because they're really special and you'd do anything for her." 

"Like a best friend," Mike says, since that's pretty much how he described what a friend was to El years ago. 

"What? No, dude, it's totally different! You don't wanna kiss your friends." 

"But you just said dating isn't all about the kissing!"

"It's not , but there's definitely an attraction component." 

"So how do you know if you're attracted to them or not?" 

"Dude, seriously?" 

Mike nods slightly because he genuinely is a little curious about what everyone's talking about. And about what he's apparently missing. 

"Look, I don't wanna describe attraction to you, it's just something you know. It's a feeling." 

Dustin adds, "It's like how I know Suzie is hotter than Phoebe Cates, and then when she kissed me, that just confirmed it." 

Well, that’s still not very helpful. And he thought guys were supposed to be the logical ones. 

Max looks at him with a judgmental frown and says, "You still look like you have no idea what we're talking about." 

"N–no, I do, of course I do. I kissed El a lot." 

"And…? " 

"It, uh, I dunno. It just wasn't…life-changing."

The rest of the table frowns at each other. Mike can feel his pulse jumping under his skin. 

Dustin says, "Well, maybe you're doing it wrong." 

"How could I be doing it wrong ?" 

"Or maybe you just weren't thinking of it the right way."

"Yeah," Lucas agrees, "'cause kissing is for more than just establishing a relationship." 

Dustin nods in agreement. 

Max asks, "Like, have you never seen a romcom before? That's the blueprint for relationships!"

"But they're movies! It's exaggerated!"

"Yeah, maybe the premises are silly, but the couples always like each other before kissing and getting together." She emphasizes the words, so Mike's pretty sure she means it more than just "the couple starts dating." 

“Ok… and?” 

Lucas shakes his head.

“Dude, you’re so hopeless. You better hope El really likes you, otherwise you’ll never find another girlfriend at this rate.”

“Lucas!” Max swats at him. He looks at her confused.

“What’d I say?”

“That’s so unfair to El!”

“Wha– I’m just saying! She’ll need to have low romance standards if Mike can’t even figure out how to woo her.”

“Ew, never say woo again.”

“Why? It’s a valid word!”

“But it’s gross.”

Their banter continues, but Mike’s zoned out of the conversation. He’s never seriously considered the idea of finding another girlfriend–that was always just an abstract concept that he figured he’d grow into eventually. He’s supposed to be thinking about this now? He feels antsy and wants to move the topic back to his maybe-relationship with El. 

He breaks back into the conversation with, "Ok, fine, maybe I was kissing wrong, I dunno! But this doesn't help me with figuring out how to date her long-distance."

Max says, “Ok, well, first make sure she actually wants to date you.”

“She said she loved him, how much clearer could that be?” Dustin asks rhetorically.

Max makes a face that says she can’t argue with that. 

Dustin says, “And dating long-distance isn’t so bad! You just gotta make sure you communicate a lot. Like, keep her updated on your life and stuff. Me and Suzie like to choose a book to read at the same time and talk about, but sharing a TV show could work too.”

Mike nods and says, “Yeah, ok, that makes sense. Thanks, Dustin.”

“No problem! Anything to help a young romance bloom.”

Mike makes a face. Lucas says, “Ugh, you gotta stop hanging out with Steve so much.”

Dustin valiantly attempts to defend Steve and his lameness, and the conversation moves on. Mike’s brain is stuck on relationships though. Dustin’s advice sounded pretty good, actually. The only problem is that he and El don’t really share many interests. Their relationship was mostly kissing, and apparently that’s not supposed to be so dull. What is their relationship even based on then, he wonders.

***

That night, he's thinking back about their conversation at lunch. Maybe Dustin was right and he's been thinking about this the wrong way.  He's been trying to passively experience sexual feelings, but maybe they only happen if you actively conjure images. Though in no way could he picture El that way, even if they might be dating. It just…no, absolutely not. So he uses Valeria instead. He imagines kissing her–he knows what kissing feels like, at least. Again, it doesn't do much for him, but he only knows his own experiences. It'd be asking too much for him to invent kissing that felt good. Then he tries to imagine Valeria with her clothes off. That's the "getting together" part of romcoms, right? His mind's eye moves past her face and to her chest and it…it… it’s uncomfortable. He shudders. He could never look at that actress the same way again, and he mentally apologizes to her for trying to see her naked. 

Dustin and Lucas are probably lying, anyway. Just…there's no way they could actually feel so strongly about kissing and what comes after, right? 

His gaze absently moves over to Conan: to his muscled arms and broad chest, the small piece of armor before his very muscular legs…

Mike feels something pull low in his gut, and he tears his eyes away from the poster and up to the ceiling. His heart is racing. What– what was that? It's so weird he decides to just ignore it and count backwards from a thousand until he falls asleep.

***

One day near the end of September, his mom calls him down for dinner, but when he gets there she's still not ready. He rolls his eyes and sits in the living room where his dad has the news on. They're covering some press conference the president did; something about funding research on a deadly virus called AIDS that's apparently been around for years. There's a question about allowing kids with the disease to attend school. The local anchor explains this comes from the case of an Indiana boy who contracted it through a blood transfusion. They interview a parent who's against allowing the boy attend her kid's school: "You know, we can't be allowing someone who's infected with this disease that impacts drug users and homosexuals around our kids. It's just not right!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Mike sees his dad nod. Mike finds he isn't very hungry anymore.

***

A few days later in his dream he's at a high school wrestling match, but Conan is the referee, and Valeria is the girl who holds the numbers. (Does that even happen in high school wrestling matches?) Before each round, she walks back and forth, legs long holding the number high above her head. But she keeps standing in front of Conan the Referee, which his dream self finds vaguely irritating. The match starts, and the boys are grappling. Legs and arms intertwine, muscles flex with exertion. Moves from photos he’s looked at in the championship case happen in front of him and his heart pounds. The match ends with one boy prone face-down on the ground, the other one arched up on his back, legs interlocked together. Conan the Referee blows the whistle to signal match end, but suddenly Mike is no longer watching the match…he's in the match. He's looking up at the boy with the arched back (which doesn't even make sense, anatomically) and it's like he feels the pressure of being held down. Legs locked together, panting and sweaty…

His eyes fly open. He’s panting and a bit sweaty and…something else is different. He reaches down and feels…

Oh . 

Another wet dream. He's had one before, but there weren't any particular images attached to it. He uses that to rationalize why this wet dream doesn't mean anything… more. 

***

The next night, his brain insists on replaying the previous night’s dream. He feels restless and turns on his side where he sees the Conan poster. Now his brain starts adding scenes from the movie. The fight scenes where Conan uses the sword, wrestlers with their arms and legs tangled… 

The pull in his gut comes back and he exhales heavily. He remembers the poster for Conan the Destroyer with Conan's huge arms  and…oh. He's half hard. That's…new. He obviously knows what a boner is, but he's never consciously gotten one. All his previous efforts to get aroused never worked. He wonders if he should keep going. His body wants to, but his brain hesitates because… because before he was thinking about women. But that was uncomfortable. He convinced himself that he was just more respectful than other guys. He's never tried to think of a man naked bef– oh. His crotch responded to that. Which makes Mike even more nervous, because apparently the elusive "sexual feelings" he was waiting for happen when he thinks about…other dudes. 

He doesn't want to think about what that means. 

Well, obviously he knows what it means, that he’s…

He’s…

But it's not like that. He's not like those guys on the news.   This is just…hormones. His brain is confused about who he's supposed to like, but when he gets older, he'll meet a girl and be attracted to her. He can usually admit that girls are pretty. This is just…a weird, horny phase. Sure, that's it. 

Chapter Text

It's Thursday after school in mid-September. He's at Family Video because he has nowhere better to be–Lucas is at basketball practice, Dustin said he really needed to work on his AP Bio homework. (Mike doesn't understand how the homework could be that important already, but Dustin insists.) Max is…somewhere, probably at home. She's become more distant from them recently, but she's grieving her brother (even if he was really shitty) and she probably misses El. Mike knows what that's like; he doesn't know what to do with himself half the time now that Will's not around. And El, of course he misses El, too. But he has so many more memories with Will. Everywhere in Hawkins there's something that reminds Mike of better times; when they would just hang out as kids and invent stupid games and joke around. So when he’s not missing Will in school, he’s thinking about him in town and about how much better everything would be if he was here.  

Mike's been crouched staring blankly at the bottom shelf of videos for a while. He hears Steve and Robin working…well, they're mostly chatting since the store is otherwise empty.

Their voices get louder as they draw closer. He hears Robin say, "But Steve, you don't understand! Vickie is like, the cutest girl in all of band! And she plays right next to me, and I haven't even told you about her smile–"

"Uh, yes, you have told me."

"No but this one was different! She was laughing in my direction…"

Robin keeps talking as Steve rounds the corner of the aisle Mike's in. Steve stops abruptly and stares at him.

"...and then she turned to me and said–"

"Robs–"

"--that…what is it?"

Robin turns the corner too and sees Mike. She stops dead still and looks at him with wide eyes.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Steve asks, pointing at him with the tape in his hands. Mike nods mutely, trying to process what he just heard…Vickie is a girl's name…and Robin said she was cute...

"How– how much– what did you hear?" Robin stutters out

Mike blurts, "You like girls?"

Robin gets paler and her expression stays that deer-in-headlights look. Steve glares at him and tells him to keep his voice down. The store is empty, but Mike gets what he's trying to say

Robin motions with her hands and says, "I gotta– I think I should do returns now." And turns away quickly.

He stands staring at the space Robin just occupied, still processing. When he doesn't say anything, Steve says, "Hey, Earth to Mike! What's going on?” Steve narrows his eyes and crosses his arms. “You don't have…a problem with it, do you?”

"What? No, of course not."

“Well, you obviously can't tell anyone–" Mike ignores Steve and pushes past him. "Hey! What are you–"

He walks quickly over to Robin and blurts, "How did you know?"

She looks at him confused.

"How did I know…?" She repeats, feigning ignorance

Mike huffs in annoyance. "About girls! How did you know you liked them?” 

She starts to protest, and Steve comes up behind him and says, "Woah, you can't just go around asking people that." 

"But– but how does she know it's not just a phase?"

At this, Robin visibly closes off and crosses her arms. Steve starts to say something, but Robin cuts him off.

"Steve, it's fine, I can handle this."

"You sure?"

"Yes, dingus. If I need you to come to my defense I'll tell you."

Steve raises his hands and backs away. He returns to the aisles to continue restocking, but Mike’s sure he’s listening in. Mike turns back to Robin and she's looking at him cautiously. She says slowly, "How do I know this isn't all a phase? Why, are you gonna try and tell me this is just something childish and I’ll grow out of it when I meet the right man?” She makes air quotes around the words.

“Well, uh, I mean…kinda, yeah.”

Robin narrows her eyes and he feels the need to explain further

“Like– like, how do you know you won’t grow out of it? 'Cause isn’t that…that’s part of what becoming an adult is, right?”

She looks at him confused.

“No? Not necessarily…"

Something like dread manifests itself in the back of Mike’s brain. He doesn’t know how to ask his question without talking about himself. Robin’s scrutinizing gaze doesn’t let up.

“But– but like, what is it that makes you so sure?"

“I’m…not sure what you’re asking. How do I know I won’t grow out of it?” Mike nods. “Well, it’s just how I feel, y’know? I can’t imagine myself ever being romantic with another guy."

“Like, even when you’re older?"

“Um, judging by how I’m seventeen and my feelings still haven’t changed? I don’t think so.”  

“Oh."

She raises an eyebrow and asks, “Is this about something?”

"No!" Mike answers, too quickly. Then he thinks that maybe Robin will have some insight on what you’re supposed to like about girls. He asks, “So– so what do you like about girls so much?"

She raises an eyebrow again, but this time it’s more in amusement

“You want to know…why I like girls?"

Mike remembers how uncomfortable it was to think about Valeria in any kind of sexual way. He scrunches his face in distaste and says, “No! Not why. But…but what is it about this Vickie girl that makes you like her so much?”

Robin smirks happily

“OK, well, for one," she starts ticking off her fingers, "she's beautiful. Two, she's really good at playing the oboe. Three, her laugh sounds amazing. Four, she’s super cool and smart and I know she’s great at languages, which is perfect because I love learning languages. Five–

At this moment, Steve appears from the aisle and says, "Keep in mind Robin's barely spoken to this girl. So most of this is her speculating.”

Robin gapes at him

"Not true! We know each other!"

Steve does air quotes and mouths "know."

“We do!” She protests. “We talked about French homework once!

“So? Everybody has to take a language."

“Yeah, but she didn’t hate it. She’s in an advanced class, so she must like it!

“Ok, well, I still stand by the fact that you’re projecting traits onto her since you have such a big crush on her."

“Nu-uh! And you’re one to talk! You do the exact same with any pretty girl that comes in here!"

Steve scoffs, “That’s completely different!"

“Yeah, it is, ‘cause at least I have band with Vickie. You see any girl with pretty hair who also rents Back to the Future and thinks she’s gonna be like, your wife or something."

It’s Steve’s turn to gape

“Back to the Future is a good movie! It means she’s pretty and fun, so sure, I’ll flirt with her, so what?"

Robin rolls her eyes and says, “And you say I’m the one projecting. You’re such a dingus."

Mike almost thinks that they’ve forgotten he’s there, but then Robin looks at him and asks, “Does that, like, answer your question?"

Mike nods mutely. Robin frowns slightly

“You good? You’re not, um, like silently judging me, right?

That snaps him out of it

“Huh? No, of course not! Um, but, uh, I gotta…go."

Steve stops him and says, “You know you can’t go telling anyone about this, right?"

“Right, no, I won’t. Promise." He makes direct eye contact with Robin and repeats, "I promise, I won't tell anyone."

Robin simply nods. He ignores the little voice in his head–that sounds awfully like his mom–telling him to “be polite” and “say a proper goodbye,” and instead turns and leaves the store. Just as he’s exiting, he hears Steve loudly whisper “Are you worried he still might say something?”  

The door closes before Mike hears Robin’s answer, but he hopes she doesn’t take his quick exit as threatening. 

***

On the ride home, he starts putting the pieces together. The way Robin and Steve talked about their crushes was familiar. It sounded like…how he thinks about Eddie. So by extension, that means he has a crush on Eddie

Now, Mike's not an idiot. He knows most guys don't have wet dreams about other guys or get hard thinking about muscular men. But before, he tried to explain away the feelings as just being too hormonal. Telling himself that he’ll grow out of it. After listening to Robin though...

He’s not an idiot, and he's also a terrible liar. The truth has been staring him in the face for a while now–there's only so many times he can wonder why kissing a girl is so unpleasant before he makes certain conclusions. That he's…

He’s...

.

.

.

Gay.

Like, really totally properly– gay.

He has to stop biking because his breathing is coming too fast and his ears are ringing

This is so stupid! He’s fought a flesh monster and hid a girl in his house and done so much other crazy shit, and this is what's making him have a panic attack at the side of the road? He squeezes his eyes shut and pinches his arm–hard. He just has to make it home.

He gets home on autopilot and tries his best to sneak in the house–there's no way he could face his family right now. He goes right to the basement and falls onto the couch. There's a sinking feeling in his chest, like a black hole opened up and is radiating numbness to all his limbs.

He's gay. Homosexual. A f–

He flinches internally at the word. No, not that. But he's still all the other words

What does he…what does he do now? He’s never thought too hard about the future, but he had always made certain assumptions: go to college, have a stable career, get married, have kids? (Blech, he never considered that part too closely.) But now the marriage thing…won't happen. Unless he forces himself into an unhappy marriage which…wouldn’t be an unfamiliar situation. But he wouldn't want to put a girl through that.

So all of a sudden, half of what he imagined his future to be will no longer happen. And that's not– that doesn't even– that's not even considering what this means about himself as a person. Is he gonna get sick? Is he already sick? He doesn’t know anything else about that AIDS thing except what the news said the other night. Maybe he should go to the library and look it up, but if he asked the librarian for help, would she know that he’s…?

He shakes his head—he needs a few more days by himself to process this realization. He wants to talk to Robin again, but he’s not ready to say this out loud.  Hopefully she can intuit what he's talking about. He needs to know how she handles knowing she’s “different.” And how she deals with having a crush.

Two faces flash in his mind as he thinks of crushes, and it intensifies the hollow feeling in his chest.  

Chapter Text

El’s first letter arrives that week. 

Dear Mike,

How are you? I've missed you. California is very different from Hawkins. I am not used to the weather yet. There are trees *and* cacti, because cacti are “suck “succulents.” It means they store water, unlike a tree which is wood. Does that answer your question? 

I cannot tell if people dress “weird,” but there are a lot more flip flops. 

High school has been really fun! I'm meeting so many new people, and everyday I learn new things! The school is *very* big, but Will helps me to “navigate” the crowds. I told him you said hi, and he says hi back. And Jonathan says hi too. 

About dating: I would like to be your girlfriend again. I hope…you still want to be my boyfriend? I miss you. Joyce says it would be good to talk it over verbally, but Dr. Owens told me I can’t use the phone. We will have to write lots of letters like you said. 

Will wants you to have our phone number, though. It’s: 555-456-4565.

Talk soon,

Love,

El

Mike is a little confused by the first paragraph, until he remembers he jokingly asked her if California was full of cactuses instead of trees. I guess writing makes it difficult for her to understand tone, Mike thinks. He’s glad she’s having a good time at school though–maybe school doesn’t suck so bad if you’ve never been. But then, the rest of the letter…oh, god, Mike is in trouble. He doesn’t want to upset her by saying he doesn’t want to be her boyfriend. She clearly really misses him. But he can’t tell her that he’s…that he’s gay. Does she even know what that means? What if she looks it up, and everything she finds says they’re social deviants and perverts and spreading a deadly virus around? She’ll never want to speak to him again. And he still really wants her in his life: she’s saved his life multiple times, and she found Will, and she’s saved his friends and family’s lives, too. He couldn’t be more grateful. He…he owes it to her, to be there for her as a boyfriend, if that’s what she wants. Plus, she’s like a superhero! It’ll be cool to say he’s dating someone who’s literally saved the world. 

So he’ll agree to be her boyfriend. And if they can’t talk on the phone, and they’re not seeing each other in person, it shouldn’t be too hard to play that role. He’ll just write letters like he usually does. Yeah, this boyfriend stuff is easy. Should he…should he get her a gift? What do girls like? Last time he tried to buy a gift was a total failure. He can’t, like, make her something, since he’s nowhere near as talented as Will. He could maybe send her flowers…but then he remembers he has no money, which is what makes getting gifts difficult in the first place. But…girls like jewelry, right? Nancy has lots of jewelry. She’s still at school working on the paper or something, so he sneaks into her room and finds her jewelry box. He sees a necklace that’s pretty, but what if she notices it’s gone? He pokes around and finds a simple ring buried under some other stuff. She probably won’t miss this if it disappears, so he pockets it and plans what he’s going to say to El in his next letter. 

***

He thinks he probably has the best chance of reaching Will on the weekend, so on Saturday he calls the number. He hears a deep voice answer “Hello?”

“J–Jonathan? Hey, it’s Mike. Is Will home? Can I talk to him?”

A pause, and then, “Mike…this is Will.”

Oh, holy shit. When did his voice get so deep? He hasn’t been gone that long, has he? Surely puberty doesn’t work that fast…but then he remembers how he grew three inches in like, a month, so maybe it’s not so crazy. Mike laughs awkwardly.

“O–oh, jeez, I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“Ha, yeah, uh, I guess my voice has changed a lot.” He sounds embarrassed.

"Aha, no kidding. But, like, dude! How are you? How’s California? How’s high school?” 

It’s a bit awkward at first, but then Will starts talking and it’s just like old times. Mike doesn’t mention how all his classes suck and he’s failing Spanish (he has a C, but in his household that’s basically an F.) He tells the story about how he accidentally sat in the wrong class on the second week of school and didn’t even realize until the teacher started calling attendance! It was so embarrassing, but it makes Will laugh loudly, and that makes up for the burning pit of shame he usually feels whenever he remembers what happened.  Will tells Mike how his school has a swimming pool! Mike is about to start complaining that they made him run a mile in gym when he hears his mom’s voice.  

“Michael! You’ve been on the phone for half an hour! Did you forget this is a long distance call?”

“Wha– Mom!”

“Five more minutes. Hi there, Will dear. Tell your mom hello for me.”

“Hi Mrs. Wheeler. And, uh, yeah, sure, I will.”

Mike hears the other line hang up. He sighs and bangs his forehead lightly against the wall. 

“Ugh, she’s so annoying! I swear Nancy called Jonathan for longer than thirty minutes the other day.” 

“It’s fine, Mike. You should, uh, you should write! We could talk about a lot more that way.”

Mike knows that that’s the obvious answer, so he says, “Y–yeah sure, I’ll do that.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.” Mike nods even though Will can’t see him. 

“Uh, so I guess we’ll talk soon? Oh, El told me to say hello and that she can’t wait for your next letter.”

Oh, right…the letter where he agrees to be her boyfriend. He sent the ring too, so he hopes she likes it. 

“Right, yeah, I hope it arrives soon! Let her know I, uh, miss her and stuff.”

“Yeah, of course.” There’s a long moment of silence–Mike doesn’t want to say bye first. “Well, bye Mike,” Will says finally.

“Bye, Will.” 

Will hangs up. Mike listens to the dial tone before also hanging up. He was feeling so great until the end of the call when he was reminded that he’s now El’s boyfriend. He feels like such a liar. He is a liar. But it’s not like he can tell her the truth. Not about this. In a twisted way, Mike’s glad El’s far away in California, so he doesn't have to admit anything out loud. It can all stay in his brain as a ball of anxiety and fear and nervous electricity. 

Chapter Text

He understands now that adults weren’t exaggerating about what sexual attraction is supposed to be like. ( Now he understands why the wrestling team shorts were different than other kinds of guy shorts.) Although he's gotten the impression from movies that teen boys are supposed to, like, always be horny or something. And it's true that his brain sure likes to remind him that men are hot–there's a few magazines he stole from the library laying around his room that prove that. (If his mom says anything, he’ll say they’re for “athletic inspiration.”) But for actually doing anything about it, well…

He's definitely curious, that's for sure. The few times he’s tried doing anything it felt really good. But usually when he's by himself he doesn't want to do anything, and that includes sexual things. Plus, actually touching yourself is…weird. He felt so self-conscious the first time–and pretty nervous too, ‘cause he's still not totally sure what's supposed to happen. He's also very aware that he's almost never alone in the house, and the fear of getting interrupted turns him off really fast. He would die on the spot if his Mom ever walked in on him–that’s probably the most mortifying thing Mike can imagine, and that doesn’t even consider her finding out what he's getting off to. So as curious as he is about sex, everything mostly stays in his head. He wonders if this experience of “self-discovery” is any easier for straight kids. It’s probably just as weird and awkward, but at least they can talk to people about it without the risk of experiencing threats or violence. 

***

He tells Lucas and Dustin about how he’s dating El. He thinks it’s information they should know, and it serves as a good cover. It’s not– he doesn’t think they suspect anything. But now that he's aware of his attraction to men, he’s worried he’ll do or say something that’ll give him away. There's one night that that risk became very apparent. 

Dustin had somehow convinced Steve to let him rent The Terminator on his mom’s card. They had movie night at Mike’s house. It was just Lucas and Dustin–Max declined the invitation. Mike sort of knew what the movie was about: a guy from the future comes back in time to stop a super robot from killing some lady who’s gonna be important. Time travel and robots are always likely to make a movie interesting. Plus, it stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, which interests Mike in…different ways. But he tells himself he should be fine–he’ll hyperfocus on the plot.  

But then the movie starts, and the robot arrives from the future, and he’s naked. They see his entire butt. Mike glances to see if Lucas or Dustin look uncomfortable, but they don’t seem fazed at all. Mike swallows and tries to focus on the story. But then, the hero guy arrives, and he’s naked too!  Mike squirms uncomfortably in his seat–he’s pretty sure “having a girlfriend” won’t be a believable excuse if he gets a boner right now. Thankfully, the protagonists quickly get clothes on and the movie continues. 

The rest of the movie is totally fine and entertaining. It makes him feel a little better when they’re all uncomfortable during the sex scene later–no one wants to watch that kind of stuff with their best friends.

***

Soon after the movie night, he overhears someone at school say that some actor named Rock Hudson died recently from AIDS. They don’t talk about him very nicely. And suddenly, Mike’s panic is back. It was easy to get caught up in his sexual feelings without considering the social implications. But now he remembers that he’s in a school full of people who would despise him if they knew. The world is full of people like that.

He returns to Family Video late on a Thursday when he knows Robin’s shift is almost over. He definitely feels awkward about talking to her–he doesn’t really know her beyond the fact that she’s Steve’s coworker and got tortured by Russians with him. Well, and now he knows that she’s also…like him, which makes her the only person he feels safe opening up to. 

She’s behind the register when Mike walks in. She waves and says hello. Mike is a bit too nervous to properly respond, so when he makes it to the counter, she’s frowning a bit and asks, “What’s up? Is something wrong? Um…Steve’s in the back if you want to–”

“No!” he interrupts. “No, I’m, ah, I actually wanted to talk to you.”

“Me?” He nods. “About, like, movie choices or…?”

Mike scrunches up his face–he doesn’t really know how to say this. He stutters awkwardly, “Er…no, uh, do you– do you remember what we talked about the last time I was here?” 

Her eyes light with recognition, but then her expression becomes guarded. 

“Yeah, of course I remember. What do you wanna say about it?”

Mike takes a deep breath. He’s trembling slightly as he makes eye contact with her. He’s about to explain, somehow, why he’s here, but his face must be really pitiable because her guard comes down and she says “Oh.” Mike just nods. Robin looks at her watch.

“Well, you came late so we’re almost done. Er, I’ll bring you to the back room. Customers will be mad if they see you in here and the door is locked.” She rolls her eyes.

In the back room, Mike leans against a table and fidgets with his fingers for about ten minutes before Robin is back.

“I told Steve he has to do all the closing up to make up for the fact that he knows nothing about movies and keeps giving bad recommendations,” she shakes her head fondly. Mike chuckles, but it’s more like a strong puff of air comes out of his nose. Robin hops up on the table to sit next to him. When Mike doesn’t say anything, she starts, “Sooo…you’re here to talk about last time? Do you wanna know more about why I like Vickie? Because I have new anecdotes, from band class and even once from before school!”

He smiles in spite of himself.  

“Maybe next time. Er,” a thought occurs to him, “do you know if this girl is also, uh…”

“A lesbian?”

He blushes. “Y–yeah, that.”

He’s looking at the floor but he sees Robin’s expression fall out of the corner of his eye. She says quietly, “No, I don’t know…I assume she’s straight, though.”

“So aren’t you scared?” 

“I– uh, yeah, obviously. Did you forget how I acted last time when you overheard me?”

“Right, so like, are you ever gonna tell her? Or are you just gonna pine after her silently forever?”

“Um…if you’re just here to judge me, then I don’t know if I really want–” 

“No!” he turns his head to look at her. “I mean, like, if you’re not planning on telling her, are you happy with just staying quiet about it?” 

“Uh, not really...”

“So how do you–” he swallows thickly, “how do you plan on meeting someone?”

Her demeanor deflates again and she looks toward the ground. She shrugs and says, “I dunno. I don’t hold out much hope in Hawkins, to be honest. My dream is to go far away, like after I graduate, go to college in like, New York or San Francisco, but…”    

That makes sense. It’s probably best to get out of here. But he still has to be in Hawkins until he’s at least eighteen, which seems impossibly far away.

“But what?” he asks.

“Well,” she shrugs and her hands fall against her legs with a slap, “I’m poor. There’s no savings to pay for a far away school or get me a ticket out of here.”

Oh. Mike didn’t even think about that. But he can empathize, since Will’s family never had much growing up. But if Robin can’t leave…

“So what are you going to do?”

She lifts her arms to make a “w.” 

“Probably pine silently like you said. Keep dodging questions from my family. It’s all I can do, pretty much.” 

Mike nods. This sucks. He had hoped Robin would be able to tell him something he didn’t already know. He hopes he can leave eventually. Go to California and be closer to Will. Robin said New York, or San Francisco…why do those places sound familiar? 

“You said you wanted to go to San Francisco…”

“Yeah, well, there’s apparently more of a community out there, like in New York too, so if I could go anywhere, I’d go there.”

Right…community…

“But…what about what’s happening?”

She looks confused. He adds, “Like…the news. That’s where– that’s where people like– people are dying.” He sees recognition dawn on her face. Then her expression turns to…pity? This probably counts as outing himself, but at least he didn’t have to say anything out loud. 

“Mike…” she says sympathetically. 

He feels his eyes burning and he can’t look at her. Fuck, he said he wouldn’t cry. He blinks rapidly to prevent that from happening. 

Robin says, “Can I…hug you?” He nods, and she scoots closer to put an arm around his shoulders. His breath hitches. She rubs his arm and says, “Hey, well, maybe by the time you get out of here they’ll know what’s going on, and it won’t be so scary anymore.”

His breath hitches again and he covers his mouth with his hand. This is too much; he doesn’t want to deal with all this. He…he’s so glad for Robin right now, but it hurts hearing it confirmed that, yes, his life is gonna suck. He’s already miserable and lonely without Will. If he stays in Hawkins, he’ll be alone forever, probably. But if he gets out, his life could be at risk, in multiple ways.  

Robin leans her head against his shoulder and thankfully pretends like she doesn’t know he’s crying.

***

The next week, Mike is at home in the basement, playing video games instead of doing homework. He has the volume muted and books out in case his mom surprises him and he has to look like he’s actually working. He hears the doorbell but ignores it, until he hears his mom’s voice yell, “Michael! Your friend is here!” 

Huh? Who’s visiting him? He goes upstairs and he sees…Max.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Wow, is that how you greet all your friends?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. You’ve been practically ignoring us all year but now you’re here. At my house. So…” he trails off and waits for her answer. She purses her mouth and looks to the side.

“Yeah, well. I have math homework questions, so…” 

Mike’s not the best at math, so it’s weird that she would come to him, even if they are in the same class. He doesn’t respond, and Max says, “Well? Can I come in, or are you gonna leave me out here like a dog?”

“U–uh, yeah, no, come in. We’ll go to the basement.” He moves out of the way to let her inside. Mike thinks the dog comment was a little harsh, but he shrugs it off as just Max being extra antagonistic today. 

They head to the basement. Max drops her backpack and sits on the couch. 

“I was gonna congratulate you for actually doing work, but clearly…” she gestures to the TV where his video game is paused. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he mutters. Then he says, “So, like, why are you here?”

“I told you. Math homework.” She even reaches into her bag and pulls out her textbook. 

Mike points out, “If you really wanted help with math you would've gone to Dustin.”

“Are you really that self-deprecating about your intelligence?” 

“ No, but…” he fiddles with his hands, “I think you’re doing better than me in math right now anyways. So any questions you have I probably have the same ones. ‘Cause, you know…” he holds up the game controller to demonstrate how little homework he’s done. Max sighs. 

“Fine, whatever, maybe I wanted to talk to someone.” She crosses her arms and shoves herself way into the couch corner, as if it’ll shield her from being too vulnerable. Mike doesn’t really know what to say, so he just looks at her. 

She huffs and says, “Are you just gonna look at me or what?”

“I– I dunno! You’re the one who showed up unannounced! If you wanna talk, why not go to Lucas?” 

“We’re not dating.”

Oh. That's new. It still doesn't explain anything to Mike.

“So? You can still talk to him, can’t you? As friends?” 

“Well, sure, but…it’s still different. Because we have dated. He, like, knows me too well and would get super concerned and try to ‘help’, ” she makes air quotes, “and fix things and like…I just don’t want that right now.”

“What makes you think I won’t do the same?” 

Max just looks at him like he’s an idiot. Mike puts his hands up in mock defense and says, “Ok, fine, it’s unlikely I’ll act like Lucas with whatever you share with me.”

“Also…I think you’ll… get it more. ‘Cause you’ve been so mopey and sad around school–”

“What– no I haven’t! What makes you say that?” 

She rolls her eyes. She gestures to the table in front of them and says, “You’re playing video games instead of doing homework. Sometimes I see you across the hall by yourself and you look like you’d rather die than be at school. Dustin sometimes asks me if I’ve seen you around, ‘cause apparently you only go to that Hellfire club on Fridays and disappear every other day of the week.” 

Oh…well, she’s not wrong. Mike scowls and says, “Ok, fine. Maybe you’re right. So…what do you wanna talk about?” 

She picks at her cuticles and looks like she doesn’t wanna talk. Finally she says, “Well, I moved a few weeks ago.”

“Moved? Moved where?”

“...The trailer park. With my mom.” 

“What happened to your stepdad?” 

“He doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore. I think he like, blames us for Billy's death. Which is fucking stupid because he doesn’t know what actually happened. And it was because of his job that we moved all the way here to stupid Indiana in the first place.”

“Really?"

“Well, some of my mom’s relatives live near here, and she wanted to be closer to them. So he looked for jobs in the area."

"And he’s leaving that job just to be away from you guys?"

"He's not leaving the job, he’s just leaving us.”

Mike doesn’t really know how to react to that. He says, “Well, he sounds like a piece of shit.”

Max laughs. “Yeah, he kinda is. But I thought he at least cared about my mom, y’know? It made…it made living with Billy a bit more tolerable. ‘Cause, like, Billy was an asshole, but I would remind myself that at least my mom’s happy. But now she’s trying to hold down two jobs and drinking too much at home. It fucking sucks. 

“And I feel like I can’t really complain to Dustin, since he also has a single mom, and I dunno the circumstances around that, so what if his story is way sadder than mine or something? And Lucas…well, I already told you why I can’t talk to him. He’s just too nice sometimes. Does that make me sound like an asshole?” 

“I mean…you might sound like an asshole, but I get it.” Mike remembers how Will complained that everyone was babying him after he came back from the Upside Down. Sometimes you just don’t want to be treated too carefully.  

Max adds, “To be honest, I’d rather talk this over with El, but she’s gone too.”

“Why don’t you write to her or something?”

“Nah, I don’t want to burden her with my problems…she has enough going on.” 

Mike wonders what Max is talking about. Granted, he hasn’t received many letters from El yet, but his impression is that she’s doing great. But maybe Max is just taking into consideration El’s upbringing. 

“So I’m your last resort. Thanks, I’m honored.” Mike says this sarcastically, but he does feel happy in some way that Max felt like she could talk to him. Even if it was because he’s been “moping,” or whatever. 

She rolls her eyes. “Well, what are you so sad about? Do you miss El? I think I heard you’re dating again, is that true?” 

Mike just nods. El is the root of a lot of his problems, but not in the way Max thinks. And that sounds rude: it’s not El’s fault he’s…the way he is. But she is why he agreed to keep dating her, even if he can’t love her how she expects. And being aware of why he can’t, well, that’s a burden that weighs on him constantly.

“Oh, and Will too. You guys are super close, right?” 

Mike’s chest constricts at the mention of Will. He says, “Yeah…we met when we were five, in kindergarten.”

“Damn, that’s kinda lucky.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well, like, anyone I knew at five are all in California. And I don’t think any of the friendships I made at five made it much past seven years old. Like, kids just change. Or they grow apart, or realize they weren’t actually that close after all. That’s special, what you have with Will.” 

Mike’s never thought of it like that before. Of course, he thinks Will is special, but that’s because it’s Will. He never thought about how it was significant to even still be friends. 

“I’ve never thought of it like that, but I guess you’re right. H– it is special. I miss him, though. I always thought we’d go to high school together, y’know? That we could face it together, after everything we’ve been through. But now he’s–” Mike stops talking because he feels like his voice will crack if he continues, and Max would never let him live that down. Max nods sympathetically. 

"Yeah…like, I get why the government made them move, but it still sucks that they're gone. I don't have any other girl friends here, and no offense to you guys, 'cause you're cool and all, but there's some things that I only wanna talk about with another girl. Like, I can't talk about Lucas with Lucas, but you and Dustin don't wanna talk about boys–"

Mike's heart skips a beat. Well, he's probably doing a good job of hiding if Max thinks he wouldn't wanna talk about boys. 

Max was saying something but she trails off and says, "What'd I say? You look like you saw a ghost." 

Shit. 

"U–uh, it's nothing."

"You're a bad liar." 

Mike scowls and says, "I'm not lying, everything's fine. " 

Max squints at him suspiciously, but must decide it's not worth arguing about. 

She says, "Well, whatever. I'm done with vulnerability today–if you blab to Lucas I'll kill you." 

She points a threatening finger at him. He rolls his eyes.

"I'm not gonna say anything to him, don't worry." 

She glares at him a moment longer before nodding once. 

"Good. Now, uh," she plays with her fingers, "I actually do have math questions…do you wanna work on the homework together?"

Mike makes a face. 

"I mean, not really, but since you're here…" he trails off and starts rummaging through his stuff to find the homework. He doesn't know much more than Max, but together they struggle through it.

Chapter Text

After all these weeks, something has been nagging him at the edges of his consciousness. And something about his conversation with Max makes the problem come to the forefront of his mind. When she said she can’t talk to Lucas because he knows her too well…Mike remembers how he thought his first letter to Will was “too personal.” How could it be too personal when they’ve been friends forever, and always told each other everything? And how during their conversation, Mike thought specifically that Will is special –in the positive meaning. 

Mike knows Lucas loves Max. And he’s pretty sure Max loves him too. So if Mike keeps thinking of Will…

Maybe he’s just imagining things, making his feelings bigger than they actually are. Conflating almost ten years of friendship with something more. But he knows one person who might be able to help him clarify some things.

Him and Nancy don’t usually have deep talks, so he feels awkward going up to her room. But this feels urgent and he needs an answer. He knocks on her door and she looks up from her desk. 

"Oh, hey, Mike. What's up?"

"Can we, uh, can we…talk?" 

She looks at him funny but says sure. He walks in and sits on her bed. His leg bounces up and down and Nancy starts looking annoyed when he's not talking. He exhales and starts with something easy.

"So, you're still dating Jonathan, right?"

Her eyebrows raise in surprise–she obviously wasn't expecting him to bring up dating. 

“Uh, yeah. Why?” 

He scrunches up his face: this really is awkward. 

“And you’re dating him because you…you love him, right?”

Nancy makes a face back at him.

“Um…I do,” she pauses, then says, “Is this about El?”

He can’t figure out if Nancy is extra smart or if that’s a really obvious connection to make. He nods. It makes more sense than the truth, anyway. She smirks at him.

“Why do you ask? Are you…?” 

He scratches his head and his cheeks are warm. 

“Well…I– I dunno. I was, like, wondering, um, how you…knew? That you love Jonathan.”

Nancy looks briefly stunned, before turning her head bashfully and fiddling with her fingers.

“I– Well. I guess…he’s been there for me through so much. I feel better when he’s around. We work really well together. He’s caring and compassionate and just…a really good guy. And, I mean, I dunno, it’s hard to explain. It’s more of a feeling.” She looks at him and asks, “Does that– does that…help at all?” 

“Y–yeah…” he nods, then adds, “And you, like, miss him a lot, right?”

“Of course!” 

“How do you…deal with it?”

“With missing him?” He nods. “I– well, I try to call him as often as I can, but we’re both really busy, and with the time difference and long distance fees…” her mouth slants in disappointment. “We’ve been writing letters a lot. It helps fill the gaps that we can’t get to during short phone conversations. You’ve been writing letters to El, right? Has that been helping?” 

No, he thinks. 

"Y–yeah, it has," he lies. 

She gives him a close-lipped smile. 

“That’s nice,” she says.

He nods mutely. Her face turns thoughtful.

“Are you looking for relationship advice? It’s definitely difficult, with the long distance, but if you need tips on how to express yourself–”

“No! I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I know these are big feelings to deal with when you’re young–”

“What, and you’re old?”

She frowns at him, annoyed. 

“No! But I have more experience with love and relationships than you do. I could help you figure things out.”

“No that’s alright, I don't need your help.”

She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. 

“So, what? You just came here to bother me?”

“No! I– this helped. I just needed, I dunno, some perspective, to help sort out my feelings.”

She smiles and nods knowingly. 

“Well, I’m glad I could help. And I’m serious, you can talk to me about relationships if you want.”

He stands up quickly and says, “N–no, I’m good. This was all I needed. Thanks, Nancy.”

She frowns at him as he leaves and says hesitantly, “Uh, you’re welcome, I guess?”   

Mike nods rapidly and escapes down the hall to his own bedroom. 

He sits down on his bed and stares unseeingly at the floor. What Nancy was talking about…the way she's connected to Jonathan, and feels better around him, and thinks he's great…it's all familiar. And when Mike thinks about it, it makes sense, really. 

He's…in love with Will. 

He groans and falls backward on the bed. What does he do now? He was putting off calling Will because he was planning to write a letter, but now…now any letter he writes is really going to feel too personal. He can mask his feelings better on the phone, but in print…

He can't– he can't tell Will. That could ruin their friendship, and he misses Will way too much to lose that for good. 

He feels like he needs to write out his feelings. He'll never send it, but he needs to get his thoughts out of his head. He starts: 

Dear Will, 

You're never going to read this, but somehow I'm still nervous to write it. Which is stupid. But…*ugh* why are feelings so difficult. 

I guess I'll start with the easier part which is…

I'm gay.

(So that wasn't actually easier, I started hyperventilating out of fear about what would happen if someone found this. Or if you actually read it.)

I hope I don't think you're the kind of person who would hate me for this. You're kind to everyone. So hopefully you'll still want to be my friend. Well, actually…after what happened this past summer I'm surprised you're still my friend at all. I'm really sorry, by the way, for what I said during our fight. And for ignoring you all summer to hang out with El. That was a really shitty thing to do. I guess I was trying to avoid my real feelings without realizing it. I was forcing myself to grow up, because I thought that…I dunno, that when I'm more mature I'll be able to act like how everyone says I should. That if I tried hard enough I would feel attracted to girls, or I'd wake up one day and it wouldn't feel so weird to kiss El.

That sounds stupid. But it's what I thought. And I guess it's why I said to you…what I said, in the garage. I think I was…afraid that it was actually *me* who didn't like girls. But that's just an excuse, and it doesn't take away the fact that I hurt you. So I'm sorry, and I hope I can make it up to you somehow because you're… *really* important to me. 

Mike stops writing at this point. This isn't even what he meant to say. He'll have to start over, but he wants to keep this one, too. He finds an envelope and writes "To Will (DO NOT SEND)" on the outside. In case he forgets. Or if his mom is snooping and thinks she'd be doing him a favor by sending it for him. He hopes she wouldn't actually read it. 

Later, he finds the first letter he drafted to Will and adds it to the envelope too.

***

Soon after writing the letter to Will, his mid-term report card arrives. Mike gets home after school, and he knows something's up once his mom says, "Michael, come here please." She usually just says hello and then lets him hide in the basement. 

He sees the open envelope on the counter next to his report card. Uh oh, this isn't good. His mom looks at him with one hand on her hip and an eyebrow raised. 

"What is this?" 

Mike decides to be obnoxious and says, "My report card." 

She glares at him. 

"That's not funny. You've never done this poorly before. Do I need to talk to your teachers?" 

"What? No! It's just– it's high school, so it's harder," he says with a shrug. 

"That's not an excuse. You're a smart kid, you know how to ask for help if you're having trouble." 

"I'm not having trouble!" He says indignantly, before he realizes he just said school was harder. 

His mom crosses her arms and looks unimpressed. 

"So then how do you explain a B- in math? Are you not doing your work?" His expression must give him away, because she sighs disappointedly and says, "Michael…" 

"It's– I mean, it's just midterm grades, they're not actually important!" 

She looks at him with a mixture of shock and dismay. She points to the paper and says, "These are measures of your progress, of course they're important! I'll be talking with your father about what we're going to do about this." 

Mike just shrugs and turns to leave–there's not much they could do that would actually bother him.

Turns out, there is something they can do that bothers him, as he finds out at dinner when his mom announces, "Your dad and I have decided that if your grades don't start improving, you won't be visiting the Byers over Thanksgiving." 

Mike gapes at them. 

"That's not fair!" He protests. His mom gives him a look, and he says, "But I already promised I'd go!" 

"Well, if you get your grades up then it won't be a problem," his mom says. 

His dad adds, "Don't make promises you can't keep, son." 

Mike scowls and stabs at his food. He can see Nancy looking at him but he determinedly does not make eye contact. 

***

He calls Will that Saturday to let him know. Mrs. Byers picks up this time, and when Will gets on the phone, Mike's heart skips a beat when he's reminded of how deep his voice is now. Mike explains the situation. Will sounds concerned when he asks, "What's wrong with your grades? Is everything alright?"

"What? Yeah, no, everything's fine! It's just, like, high school is different and they're overreacting for no reason. But I wanna hear about your school! What are your classes like?" 

He leans against the wall as Will talks. Nancy comes down halfway through to drop some laundry off before heading back upstairs. His mom comes on the line after thirty minutes again. (Mike really was trying to keep track of time this time.) When he hangs up, even though the reason for the call sucked, he feels…giddy. He missed listening to Will tell stories. And his voice …Mike's pulse races with a feeling he can't quite identify. He goes upstairs to get a snack and passes Nancy.

She smirks and says, "You looked like you were having a good call. Were you talking to El?" 

Huh? Mike is confused–El’s not allowed to talk on the phone. But maybe Nancy doesn't know that. He goes to correct her when he realizes she's just teasing him, but for what? 

"What do you mean I looked like I had a good call? What did I look like?" 

"Oh, you know…" she mimics twirling a phone cord while on the phone. Mike starts blushing at the implication. He looked like that? Like a girl with a crush? A pit forms in his stomach, but his face is still hot. 

He sputters, "Wh– what? I didn't look like that!" 

Nancy purses her lips to stop from grinning and just says, "Uh-huh, sure, whatever you say." 

She continues upstairs. Mike stares and decides he's not hungry anymore. 

Back in the basement he buries his face in his hands. This is so not good. He's relieved that Nancy thinks he was talking to El, but now he's extra self-conscious about his behavior. He didn't even realize he was doing that! Can Will tell? What about when he sees him in person finally? What if Mike acts too…much? This sucks.

***

He finds Robin after school one day. She looks surprised to see him, but smiles and waves hi. 

He asks, "Hey, can we talk?" 

"Yeah sure! What's up?" 

"Uh," Mike looks down, embarrassed, "in private, actually?" 

Recognition dawns on her face.

"Ah, I see," she makes a thinking face and then says, "I know a spot." She motions her head to follow him. She leads him to a spot at the far end of the field where there's a big rock under a tree. They sit down and she says, "I assume you don't want to talk in private so you can confess your undying love for me." 

She smiles goofily at him and he laughs.

"Uh, yeah, no. Kind of the opposite, actually." She raises her eyebrows at him. He rubs his hands along jeans. 

"Yeah, well, you remember last time? I kept asking you all these questions, and I wanted to say, er, I really didn't mean to be judging you for pining silently or whatever." 

She huffs a laugh and says, "Don't worry about that Mike, I get where you're coming from. It's– it's hard, when everyone says you should be in a relationship, but the kind of relationship you want isn't what they mean…"

The corner of Mike's mouth lifts in an attempt at a smile as he says, "For sure. Well, it turns out I think I can relate a lot more to your situation than I thought." 

He sees Robin consider what he said, and then her face lights up. 

"You have a crush on somebody, Wheeler?" She says teasingly. 

He blushes and says, "Yeah, you could say that…" 

"Am I allowed to guess who it is?" 

"I mean, sure, go ahead." 

"Is it Dustin?" 

"What?! No!" 

"Hey, don't diss him! He has likable qualities." 

Mike smiles at her, "Yeah, well, it's not him." 

"Okay…hm, is it Lucas? He plays basketball, that's pretty cool." He shakes his head. Robin makes an exaggerated thinking face.

"Do I know this person?" When Mike doesn't answer, she says, "Oh! Of course, your little friend who moved…Will!" 

Mike simply blushes deeper. Robin whoops. 

"I knew it!" 

"No you didn't! It took you three guesses!"

She waves her hand, "Details. It makes so much sense now that I think about it." 

"What? How!" 

"Oh, you know, it was your little movie dates early in the summer." 

"Wh–what! Those– those weren't dates ."

She raises an eyebrow skeptically and asks, "So what did you call them?" 

"I– I dunno! They were just group hangouts." 

"To the movies–a date location–with your other friends, who were dating each other…?" 

"Y–yeah…but it was totally platonic for me and Will! No one thought of it like that, it was more like, I dunno, we were all just hanging out as friends!" 

Robin looks unconvinced but nods anyway.

"So…Will, huh? I take it you're looking for tips on how to deal with crushing silently on a probably-straight person? Well, it's not ideal, lemme tell ya." Mike fiddles with his fingers and Robin asks, "Is there something else?" 

Mike sighs. He starts, "Well, there's two things, actually." She nods to prompt him to continue, so he keeps going. "So, first, I was on the phone with Will the other day, and Nancy saw me for part of the conversation. Then after, she thought I was talking to El, because she basically said I looked like some girl with a crush! I didn't even know I was doing that! And I'm worried about being too obvious."

Robin says, "I see…and the second thing?" 

Mike swallows and rubs his hands over his legs again. He says softly, "I think…no, I know it's more than a crush." He glances at her out of the corner of his eye and whispers, "I love him, Robin." 

Her mouth opens in an "oh" and she nods slowly. After a moment, she says, "So this is unrequited love." 

He makes a face, but nods in confirmation. She's quiet, probably thinking of what to say. 

He blurts, "I just don't know what to do!" He pulls one leg up and rests his chin against his knee. Rocks slightly in place. 

"It's already hard enough always trying to hide who I am. I mean, sometimes I still can barely admit it to myself…but now, I'm aware of these– these feelings, that still exist even though he's–" his breath hitches, "far away. A– and–" he struggles to get his breathing under control while also suppressing tears. 

Robin puts a tentative hand on his shoulder and says, "Hey, hey, just breathe, okay?" She makes exaggerated breaths until he's less actively panicking. 

"Look…you're gonna make it through this, okay? Like, Hawkins sucks, but you have a good group of friends. Like, I can't say for sure that if you ever came out to them that they'd immediately accept you. But after what we've been through, I can't imagine they'd abandon you once they know you wanna kiss guys."

He smiles a little at that.

"Thanks, Robin. But that doesn't help me deal with the whole being in love with my best friend thing…" he trails off and picks at a thread on his sneaker. 

Robin makes a sort of grimace. 

"Yeeeah, not sure how much help I can be on that one, buddy. I'm not really a feelings expert…kind of the opposite actually. I mean, I know how I feel, but sometimes I don't know how to get a read on people. So I end up being super awkward all the time. And I've never been in love with someone–to be honest I kinda can't imagine it, so props to you for figuring it out. Plus I'm always tongue-tied in front of pretty girls–like, worse than Steve, which is embarrassing, and–" 

Mike cuts her off by raising a hand and saying, "Robin, I got it. I'm on my own for this."

"Oh! Sorry, I got on a tangent again, didn't I? But you're not on your own ! Well, feelings-wise, sure, but you have me to talk to now, right? Get those pining thoughts out of your head." She playfully pushes him. 

Mike nods. He's not sure if he wants to admit this, but his mouth says, "I write letters, too." 

Robin looks at him confused. He explains, "To, like, get the thoughts out of my head. I write letters. To Will. That I don't plan on sending! But, yeah…" he realizes how silly it sounds and he blushes.

Her mouth opens in a wide, teasing smile and she says, "Oh my god, that's so cute! Can I read one?" 

He looks at her with a "what the fuck?" expression. She laughs, "Whoops, sorry, of course, you don't want me reading your love letters." 

Mike's face heats up even more. He sputters, "Th– they're not love letters!" 

She rolls her eyes. 

"Okay, whatever you say mister going to the movies isn't a date, " she makes air quotes as she says it. 

"They weren't dates!" 

Robin suppresses a grin. Mike groans.

"Are you going to be annoying about this now?"

"Definitely." 

Mike heaves a dramatic sigh and moves to get up. Robin gets up with him and says, "No, wait! You're welcome to laugh at my ineptitude with girls. It might be kinda nice to talk about this with someone who isn't Steve…I mean, he's great! But he doesn't get it, y'know?" Mike nods. 

"By the way, don't you dare tell Steve I said I'm worse with girls than him. It'll go to his head."

"I promise I will not talk about girls with Steve Harrington," he deadpans. 

Robin laughs. He learns that Robin's hanging around school until Steve gets out of work and can come pick her up, so they keep chatting amicably until then. They can't be as open as they were on the field, but the school's pretty dead at this point, so they're still able to be honest as long as they avoid most gender pronouns. He asks about how to be less “obvious,” but she’s not totally sure.  

“You don’t really dress like it, so I guess you’re talking more about body language?” Mike shrugs in response. Robin sighs and thinks a bit. Then she says, “I guess it’s hard, ‘cause I don’t really wanna tell you to not act like yourself.”

“But that’s what I want!”

She gives him a pitying look. 

“Mike…” 

He frowns at the ground trying not to get too emotional. He’s already cried in front of her and he doesn't want to do it again, and definitely not at school. 

“I still think you shouldn’t think about it too much.” He looks at her slightly annoyed. She goes on, “Well, look at it this way: even if it wasn’t true, if you acted a certain way, people would still make the same judgments about you. If your friends think anything different about you because of body language or whatever, then that’s on them.”

He nods slowly. Then he asks, “What about Nancy?”

“Hmmm…well, you did say she thought you were talking to El, right? So I guess take that as a win and don’t overanalyze it too much.”

Mike is silent while he thinks Robin’s advice over.  

When Steve eventually arrives, he looks surprised to see Mike there but doesn't say anything, just offers to drive him home as well.  

Chapter Text

He manages to call Will another time just to chat before Thanksgiving. He picks November 6th because it felt vital somehow to talk to Will on that day specifically. They haven't set up a call time or anything–Will is probably expecting letters to arrive. Mike's disappointed that Will doesn't call more often, and he doesn't write either. Is he really upset still about what happened over summer?, Mike wonders. Or did Mike do something he's unaware of that made Will distant? Or what if…what if Will has brand new friends? What if he's…met a girl ? Mike's not going to believe the taunts and rumors that followed Will around his whole life. He won't assume anything. California girls are supposed to be super hot, right? What if Hawkins girls never interested Will, but some blonde cheerleader in Lenora has caught his eye? But wouldn't Will say something? Does he not consider Mike his best friend anymore, and he doesn't want to tell Mike these sorts of things? El's letters have made their life sound pretty great. And girls always liked Will in Hawkins. So it's not crazy to think that Will has a crush, or is…or is moving on from the Party, even. He said he wouldn't, but people change. Mike sure has changed. 

It was really good to hear Will's voice again and learn what he's been up to. Mike tries to look less like a girl talking to her crush, but he doesn't know how successfully that went given that technically he is talking to his crush. No one saw him anyway, so it doesn't really matter. They mostly trade school stories, but Will doesn’t open up about any new friendships or crushes. Which…maybe is a good sign, but it might also mean that they’re just not as close anymore. The thought pains Mike, especially now that he's fully aware of his feelings. But calling is good, ‘cause it prevents Mike from saying something way too revealing. 

But…speaking of things that are too revealing…a few days after their phone call, he wakes up from another wet dream where he definitely saw Will's face. That woke him up immediately, because there's rarely an identifiable face for him in these kinds of dreams. They didn't– nothing happened. it was just Will's face on a slightly buffer body. But it's vaguely disconcerting for Mike, that his sexual dreams so easily put Will in there. Until now, his sexual and romantic feelings had been strictly separate. Now though…well, he feels a little guilty to be having these thoughts about his best friend.

He decides to write another letter:

Dear Will, 

I have something super embarrassing to admit. Actually, it's a bit more than just embarrassing…but anyway, you've been on my mind a lot. Well, I'm kind of always aware that you're not around. And it's November, so all the bad memories start appearing more often in my nightmares. We talked on the phone recently, which I think is what caused the embarrassing thing. Not because of what we talked about! But basically…you appeared in one of my "adult" dreams. Nothing happened! It was just your face. And I know it's super weird to think of a friend that way and you probably think I'm disgusting. I can't help it! My subconscious put you there. Like how it puts the guys on the wrestling team or the Terminator or…wait why am I telling you this. You definitely don't wanna know this about me. It just…it sucks, having all these feelings with no one to turn to. I really miss you I miss when we could tell each other anything. Now you're far away, and things are weird between us–but maybe that's my fault. Actually, yeah it's probably mostly my fault. 

Anyway, I dunno how you'd feel if I actually *told* you this. I probably wouldn't tell you about the dream part, but the rest of it…

*Ugh* it's just so lonely and scary. I know puberty sucks for everyone, but it just feels worse realizing that I like guys and you  

The news doesn't help. (You're in California so you must've heard about AIDS at least a little bit.) I keep worrying something is inherently broken in me. And the stories just remind me that people think it's wrong and immoral to be attracted to the same sex. I hope you don't I don't think you think that way though. And I don't wanna die either, not from AIDS. (That kinda makes it sound like I'd wanna die some other way and that's not true anymore )

But I guess to die from it I'd have to have sex, and that's…that's weird to talk about with friends. Oh my god, when me and Dustin and Lucas watched "The Terminator" it was SO awkward when the sex scene happened–it wasn't, like, a porno or anything, but you definitely knew sex was gonna happen. Yuck x.x (it's still a cool movie though and if you haven't seen it we should watch it one day…we can just fast forward the sex part haha)

I don't know what else to say that isn't repeating myself…I just wish you were here so we could talk about this stuff. I know I just said that talking about sex with friends is super weird, but we've always been able to tell each other anything. And I'm scared about everything. You've always been a good listener, so even if you don't totally understand the feelings, I'd still want to talk to you. It would help get me out of my head all the time, but I guess I’ll have to settle with admitting stuff via letter.

Talk soon I hope you don’t hate me or anything for what happened in my dream

Love,

Mike

***

Just before Thanksgiving, his mom decides that his grades still aren't satisfactory and officially cancels his trip. He's disappointed and irritated so he tries to take his mind off of it by playing video games, but he can't concentrate on them. He can't focus on the sci-fi book he got from the library either. Thinking about the library, he remembers the magazines in his room. That’s… also an activity, he supposes. He managed to read more about AIDS, and it doesn't look like you can get it from your own bodily fluids, so that's a relief. The first time anything wet came out he kinda freaked out. Obviously he knows the "wet" part of wet dreams comes from somewhere, but he wasn't expecting it that time. Now he knows that’s supposed to happen and he won’t get sick or anything from it.  Even though he’s read some things now, he's still not totally sure how sex between two men works. He wonders how you're supposed to learn this stuff. It's difficult enough to get any information on how straight sex works. Sex ed doesn't happen until next year, but what he's heard around school is that they basically tell you not to do it–and obviously no one mentions gay people. 

Objectively, he knows he's not the only gay person to exist–he's not even the only one in Hawkins, which is kind of crazy. But it definitely feels like it a lot of the time. He thinks maybe that's part of why he's been distancing himself from his friends lately. But it's not totally on purpose–Dustin and Lucas have been doing new things too! Mike just doesn't wanna do anything new. For one, nothing seems interesting. For two, he can't share the experience with Will. He realizes how stupid he was in pushing Will away last summer to try and "grow up." Well, he does want to grow up: he wants to learn how to drive, to live on his own, to…kiss someone he actually likes. Now he's learning that maybe he doesn't have to leave his childhood behind in order to grow up "for real." Eddie is proof that you can be an adult and embrace being a weirdo who likes fantasy games. And Will thought the same thing, that they were gonna get old and still play games. Mike really wishes they could’ve had a proper reconciliation after their fight, but of course the Upside Down had to screw them over again. 

Thinking about what happened, he wonders how Max is doing. After she broke up with Lucas, Lucas told them that he’s worried about her, because the break up was really out of nowhere this time. 

He remembers that when she came to talk to him, she thought he would understand her more because he’s been “mopey,” or whatever. And she wasn’t wrong, really. Lucas thought she should talk to the school counselor…does that mean Mike should go to the counselor? No, that’s ridiculous. Maybe he’s sad but he doesn’t have problems. His dad always says that he doesn’t believe in therapy anyway. Not that Mike likes to agree with his dad, but he can't imagine what a counselor could say that would actually be helpful. Plus, if his dad found out that he talked to a counselor, that would start a whole conversation that Mike doesn’t want to have. His dad doesn't exactly care, but it would definitely invite questions about if Mike's "some kind of queer," and, well… 

This whole train of thought is stupid anyway, ‘cause he’s totally fine. It's totally normal to be sad when your best friend moves away. And girlfriend, she moved away too, he reminds himself. Well, whatever, he's sad but it's fine.

***

It's mid-December, but he already knows he won't be seeing the Byers over the holidays. Mike writes another letter to Will:

Dear Will,

I can't believe Mom isn't letting me come see you guys over break >:(  It's for totally stupid reasons too! She wants us to spend "quality time" with the family, which is so stupid because nobody in our family likes each other. And she also said something about having me start studying for the SAT, which 1) the point of school break is to *not* do school, and 2) it's only freshman year?? Why should I have to think about college already? The transition to high school has been hard enough. 

Anyway, I really miss you. Thinking about college is just a reminder that one day the whole party is gonna be separated. Unless me and you went to the same school, but you're probably gonna go to some fancy art school, meanwhile even my stick figures look weird. (Also my dad would never pay for art school even if I was any good at it.)  But whatever. I don't wanna think about the future right now. I keep wondering why you haven't reached out in so long…did I do something? Other than the fight (I'm really sorry again.)  Or have you moved on from us and the Party? I mean, if you've found better friends, I'm happy for you. Really! It hurts a lot to think about, but I just want to see you happy. You deserve it, after all the shit you've had to deal with.

I guess I should get to the point that I wanted to make when I started writing these letters. I'm still nervous somehow even though you're never going to read this. But…the truth is…

I love you. Romantically. 

And I don't expect you to reciprocate! I just have to say it. I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship. I love you too much Your friendship still means a lot to me. I wish you were here. It would make everything so much easier…

Should I write what made me fall in love? That's kind of embarrassing. And I know "love" is a big word when we're just teenagers. But it definitely applies to how I feel about you. I don't think I would be missing you this much if I didn't love you a little bit. I think I started realizing something was different around the Snow Ball. And I guess my brain suppressed those feelings out of fear. But after everything we you went through that fall…it was terrifying to watch and realize I was actively losing you to the Mind Flayer. You looked like you were in so much pain and I wanted more than anything to make it stop. I don't know how much you remember (I hope it's not that much) but I was by your side the whole time. It was so important for me to be there, and at the time I thought it was just because I was your oldest friend. And I definitely still value our friendship, it's just…my feelings for you are way different than how I feel about Lucas or Dustin or Max. Besides the attraction part, I feel so strongly that, like, I don't know, like I want to protect you or something. But I know you hate being babied, so I guess it's more like I wanna be with you for whatever you go through. 

It's weird, because I feel protective over El too, but it's totally different with her. Well, for one she's a girl. But two, we found her when she was so vulnerable; out in the woods in the rain with nothing but a giant t-shirt and telekinetic powers. With you…we've known each other for so long. You know things about me that no one else does. I know things about you that you haven't told anyone else. People think you're super nice all the time, but I know you can be mean if you want to. You're an amazing artist and you're way too humble about it. And you're so creative: whenever you DM your stories are always so intricate and exciting, and you get more open and expressive than usual. I love that you care so much about DnD, because I do too, and we've had so many good memories from playing together and crafting campaigns. I wish I hadn't pushed you away over it. :(

I'm in a club at school, Hellfire, where we play DnD. It's totally reminded me about what makes the game so awesome. The DM is amazing , you'd definitely like him. He looks like a super cool rockstar with his long hair and leather jacket. His narration is always so compelling and puts you right in the story, and he writes the coolest twists into the game, and…well, anyway. I admire him a lot because he's so unapologetic about being a freak and a weirdo. And he openly hates the jocks which is cool because everyone thinks athletes are ~so~ great when they're usually a bunch of assholes. Obviously Lucas isn't one of the assholes, but his teammate Jason sure is. Also Steve and Billy played sports, and even though Dustin says Steve is different now, Billy was the worst. (Yeah, yeah, "don't speak ill of the dead" and all that, but he attacked Lucas and also tried to run us down once, so I think I'm allowed to dislike him.) 

Yeah, so, anyway, Eddie's super cool like that. I hope when I'm a senior I'll be confident and proud like he is. In a weird way he reminds me of you, 'cause you're not afraid to like what you like or wear what you want, even if bullies tease you for it. You're not embarrassed about being really excited for something–at least around me you aren't. I love seeing your face light up when you talk about what you're planning for your next drawing or telling me to read whatever your new favorite book is. 

I guess this sorta became a list of things I love about you. It sucks that I can’t actually tell you any of this, but as long as you're still in my life I can live with just being friends I think. I just hope you haven’t moved on from us and found cooler California friends. I don’t know what I’d do if you never wanted to hang out again. I hope Mom lets me come visit over Spring Break (I think they’re the same week? It would totally suck to have to wait until summer. :( I’m sure El will let me know soon.)  

Did Owens tell you not to call anyone in Hawkins too? I keep wondering if maybe you’ll call. It’s stupid, but sometimes I almost get nervous to phone you. I think it’s half I’m afraid I’ll let my true feelings show too much, and half I don’t wanna be too disappointed when the call inevitably ends too soon. But that’s a dumb excuse, ‘cause we’re still best friends and so it should be easy to talk to you! *sigh* Feelings are so inconvenient sometimes. I wish we could be a team again, like how we used to be. 

Miss you

Talk soon <3 

Love,

Mike

Chapter Text

Spring Break is approaching. He can finally visit the Byers. He's worried maybe Will is mad at him, and that's why Will hasn't reached out. Mike starts trying to call their house way more often, but he can never seem to get through. He complains to Dustin about it a lot–why is it suddenly so hard to reach Will? 

He learns in El's next letter that Mrs. Byers has a new telemarketing job. He also learns that Will is painting something, and she thinks it's for his crush. A crush?! And he's painting for her! Painting is a new medium for Will, and Mike's kind of upset that he's not the first person to get a Will painting. He's also pretty nervous about seeing El again. He needs to get his thoughts on paper.

Dear Will, 

I'm finally going to see you in person soon! But I'm so nervous, for so many reasons. 

One, there's the whole " I'm in love I have a crush on you" thing. 

Two, you've gone and started crushing on somebody else! I guess last year I gave the impression that that's what I wanted for you. And…I do, because I don't want to hold you back. But…see point one. 

Three, I'll be seeing El for the first time in a long time, too. And…wow, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm technically her boyfriend…I *am* her boyfriend. But I'm only good at that on paper. And she sounds like you've been doing really well, so what if…what if you she's ready to move on? 

Four, is it worse if she's *not* ready to move on? Because then I'll have to break her heart and admit that I've basically been stringing her along for months? Because I don't…feel how I should about her. She's still an amazing person and I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I have no idea what I'm going to do. 

Lastly, something's been nagging me for a while now. I feel like I'm forgetting something really important, but I can't remember what it is. Hopefully I’ll remember before I come visit you.

See you soon!

Love,

Mike

***

Mike isn't really sure what he should wear in California. He puts together his best idea of a "surfer" outfit, and even asks Max if it works. She gives him a hat and sunglasses, which seems reasonable to Mike. 

The flight there is pretty miserable. He’s been on a plane before when he was six and his parents took him and Nancy to Walt Disney World, but he hardly remembers the flight experience. At fourteen, he finds the seats are way too close together. He forgets to bring a book and his feet get cold in his flip flops halfway through the trip. Thankfully he has a window seat, so at least he can look out the window. But he’s so anxious about seeing Will and El that it’s hard to relax. His leg bounces up and down and a man around his dad’s age in the aisle seat keeps glaring at him. The old lady next to him is a bit nicer, and asks him who the flowers are for. He says for his girlfriend and she awww’s about how sweet young love is. She tells him how she married her highschool sweetheart and they met when she was around Mike’s age. She winks at him and Mike’s stomach turns. He smiles tightly and goes back to staring out the window–the last thing he wants to do is think about marriage. From his observations, marriage sucks and is something to be tolerated at best. That’s not to mention the fact that he’ll never be able to marry someone he actually loves. He stares harder out the window and tries not to think about it.

After four hours the trip is finally over. As he waits to exit the plane, he thinks about what he’s going to do when he sees El. Kiss her, probably. That’s what boyfriends do after all. What is he going to do when he sees Will? Obviously hug him, like best friends do. 

It’s really bright as he steps off the plane, so he puts his sunglasses on. He follows everyone else into the arrivals area when he hears El call his name. He sees her wave excitedly and rush towards him. Of course, he’s happy to see her too. She holds his face and they kiss quickly. Then she holds him in an enthusiastic hug. 

“Oh, careful, careful, careful. You’re squishing your present.”

She lets go of him and he says, “It’s a gift. I, uh– I handpicked those for you in Hawkins,” he removes his sunglasses since now it’s too dark. He keeps talking, “I know you like yellow, but now I’m kind of realizing it’s too much yellow. I know you also like purple so I got purple as well. So I kinda did, like a 70/30 split kinda thing.” 

He’s over explaining for some reason. Maybe if I explain it, I’ll feel more like a boyfriend giving his girlfriend a thoughtful gift, he thinks. But then he realizes he doesn’t even know if these are her favorite colors, so it's less thoughtful than he thought. 

He sees Will coming closer and moves his attention that way. Mike had glimpsed Will while he was hugging El earlier, so he knows Will is taller and his hair is shorter.   

El says, “They’re perfect. Thank you” just as Will approaches with a wide grin on his face. Mike finally looks at him properly. 

“Oh. Oh!” Will is obviously super excited to see him but Mike’s brain short-circuits when he realizes just how different Will looks. He’s obviously matured, and Mike doesn’t know what to do with himself. If he hugs Will properly he might never let go–for multiple reasons. And clearly Will is just excited to see his friend, because he goes to hug Mike like a normal person who isn’t in love with their best friend. Mike awkwardly aborts the hug and attempts a straight guy shoulder pat/fist bump. He looks away, but not before he sees Will’s face fall. He greets Jonathan and then is looking back at Will and what he’s holding.

“Uh, what’s that?” he asks. He knows what it is–it’s obviously some piece of art. 

Will says, “Um, it’s nothing. It’s j–just this painting I’ve been working on.”   

He’s downplaying it, but this must be the painting for his crush. He brought it with him to the airport? How serious is this crush?  

“Cool.” Mike nods and they stare at each other awkwardly. He sees Will scan his outfit and then a voice jolts him away from the weird moment.

“That’s a rad shirt, man. Ocean Pacific?” says the guy with long hair and a weird hat. 

Jonathan introduces him by saying, “Oh, hey, Mike. This is, uh, my friend Argyle.” 

“Oh. Hey.” Mike puts his hand out to shake, but Argyle comes closer and puts his arms around Mike. It’s almost a hug, but he feels his shirt collar get pulled. Who is this guy?

After an uncomfortable moment, Argyle says, “Oh no, no, no. No, it’s a shitty knockoff,” Argyle removes himself and pushes Mike away. “Yeah. But don’t sweat it, man. I’ll get you the good threads out here.”

He glances away, unsure how to react. Argyle keeps talking, “I heard a lot about your sister.”

What? How does he know about Nancy? Oh …he looks over at Jonathan, who’s looking about as awkward as Mike feels at the moment. 

Jonathan clears his throat and says, “O–Okay. Um, should we go?”

“Yeah this is kinda awkward, man,” Argyle states the obvious.

“Yeah, so awkward.” Mike agrees. He leans towards El and wraps an arm around her shoulder. They all start heading for the exit. El says excitedly, “I have our whole day planned. First, El Rodeo for burritos.”

“What, really? Burritos for breakfast?”

“Yes. Trust me.”

“Yeah, no, I… I  trust you. It’s just, you know, it’s a little weird.” Though so far, the only Californian he’s met is Argyle, so perhaps he shouldn’t be so surprised.  

“Then after burritos, I want to go to Rink-O-Mania.”

“Rink-O-Mania, okay. What’s– what’s Rink-O-Mania?”  

“It’s the most fun place in Lenora. They have skating, and games. ”

“Okay, sounds awesome. Are your friends gonna meet us there?”

He hears Will say, slightly judgmentally, “Friends? What…what friends?”

“You know. Stacy and Angela.”

“Angela?” Will sounds surprised but Mike can’t figure out why. From her letters, it sounded like Angela was a good friend to El.  

El says to him, “You’ll meet them, I promise. Just not today. I want today to be about me and you.”

He kisses the side of her head to signal that he appreciates her attempt to have a real date. He pretends he doesn’t notice how sad Will looks.

***

Rink-O-Mania turns out to be awful. One, he’s not very good at skating, and the experience is not improved when he has no conversation to make with El. Two, El’s friend Angela turns out to be a mean bully and humiliates her. Three, Will was being such a downer the whole day and they end up fighting about it. Will wanted Mike to have reached out more, but why didn’t Will call. Why was it on Mike? And how could Mike explain that letters were too personal and would reveal too much about his feelings. To maintain their friendship, he had to talk to Will on the phone. But then he couldn't even reach Will on the phone when he tried and clearly Will doesn't know about that. 

And then El did something so startling–she smashed Angela’s head with a roller skate! It was so bad that El got arrested. But not before she confronted him about their relationship. He hardly realized he was signing his letters “From, Mike” but obviously El noticed. He feels like crap: what was he supposed to say? He had kinda hoped that when she signed her letters “Love, El” that maybe that was just how she signed all her letters, because that’s what she was taught to do. But she clearly wants him to love her romantically. He hates that everything has turned out this way. 

To make matters even worse, government agents arrive at the house and tell them Hawkins is, once again, in danger from the Upside Down . I’ve barely been gone for 48 hours and then this happens. Just fucking great, he thinks.

They’re sitting in Jonathan’s room trying to figure out what to do now that they’ve essentially been placed on house arrest. He’s reading El’s note while Will paces back and forth.

“I…I mean I just don't think they've actually thought this through. If this goes on for a month, or months, and people can't get a hold of us, they're gonna totally freak out. Meanwhile my mom’s probably having a panic attack already. And then what about Hawkins? That lady’s supposed to just keep it “contained.” Like you can contain any of this without El.  I mean…” He pauses in his rant.

“Yeah,” Mike agrees, because he was definitely listening. 

Will sighs and says, “If you keep staring at that, it’s not gonna change. You know?”

Mike sighs internally. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you're right.” He crumples the note and throws it away. (Somehow it actually makes it into the trash bin.)

Will sits next to him. Mike worries about admitting what happened, but it’s Will and Will always knows what to say. 

Mike starts, “Before the cops came, me and El we…we had a bad fight. We never fight. I mean, we’ve fought before, but just like, silly fights, stupid fights,” Mike feels like the spying fight was actually kind of important, but it still wasn’t as bad as this one. He continues, “But I dunno, this one just felt more adult. Like it…it just felt more real. Like– like it was a fight you can’t come back from. Maybe I should've said something, and if I would’ve said that thing, then maybe she’d want me there with her, wherever she is.” 

Actually, he knows what she wanted him to say. But he just can’t. And now he can’t help her. 

Will says, “No. Look, Mike, you're gonna see her again and whatever it is, whatever you didn't say, you can say it to her then.” 

They stare at each other. Mike thinks that Will has always been so good at reassuring people. His eyes are so earnest. Mike nods and says, “Yeah. Yeah.”

“She’s gonna be ok. She’s not in Hawkins. That’s what we should be worrying about.”

“You don't trust Owens?”

"No," he sighs in exasperation, "I don't know. I mean he's been good to us and good to El, but he wasn't able to protect me. That was you guys who saved me. That was you guys .” 

Mike can’t help but feel proud when Will says that. He ducks his head to hide how pleased he must look. Then he turns back to look at Will and says, “Looks like it’s gonna be up to us again.”

“It always is, isn’t it?” Will says.

They watch each other for a moment before Jonathan's voice says behind them, "Which is why we can’t stay here."

They formulate the plan to have Argyle deliver pizza to the house and then convince him to drive them to Indiana. But it goes to shit almost immediately, and then they're fleeing for their lives in a smelly pizza van. Mike's memories of the whole ordeal are a bit hazy, but one moment seared into his brain is unrolling Will's painting–El's commission, actually–for the first time. He doesn't know what inspired El to commission it, but it's perfect. He loves what it represents and–apparently–what Mike means to El. It's what helps Mike finally say what she wanted. But then, she hardly speaks to him during the two day trip back to Hawkins. He doesn't want to pry about what happened during the mind-fight since she seems pretty broken up about it. But she doesn't even acknowledge his confession. He wonders what changed.

***

Hawkins is almost unrecognizable when they finally make it back. He's relieved that his family seems relatively unharmed, and that Dustin and Lucas are okay. But...Max…he can't believe it. Lucas says he felt her stop breathing in his arms. Miraculously, she came back, but her body is still broken. She's still trapped in a coma. Mike remembers the grief he felt when he thought Will was gone forever. It was one of the worst feelings of his life. He has no idea how Lucas is coping. 

They’re all helping to fix up the cabin later. El walks past him and Will with a garbage bag in hand. She doesn’t make eye contact and heads right into her room.

“Did she…talk to you at all?”

“Not much," he walks across the room to sit on an overturned couch, "I mean, a little bit.” 

Will sits next to him and Mike continues, "Dr. Brenner, he says that she wasn't ready. And now she’s starting to think he was right."

"That's crap . If it wasn't for her, if she hadn't left the lab, Max wouldn't be alive right now."

"I know. It’s just, she's um…she's never lost before. Not like this." Mike isn't sure if that's the only thing that's stopping El from talking to him. It's definitely upsetting, sure, but she hasn't come to him for comfort like a normal couple would. (He hasn't really offered either–at home he's used to having to seek comfort, or else not receive it.)   

"She’ll have another chance." 

"Let’s hope not. Let's hope One is dead and rotting." 

"He's not," Will says seriously. Mike stares at him, stunned. Will bites his lip and his voice quavers as he says, "Now that I’m here, in Hawkins, I can…feel him."

No, not again. Not still .

"And he’s hurt. He’s hurting. But he’s still alive," Will's voice is strangled with emotion, "It’s strange knowing now who it was this whole time, but…I can still remember what he thinks, and how he thinks…and he’s not going to stop. Ever. Not until he’s taken everything. And everyone. We have to kill him.” 

Mike is startled and distressed by what Will just admitted: how serious this still is, how Will still seems to be at the center of everything. Mike tries for reassurance.

“And we will. We will," he grips Will's shoulder in an attempt to impart confidence platonically.

***

A few minutes later and most of them are outside welcoming Mrs. Byers and Hopper (he's alive?! ) back home. But then there's some weird ash falling from the sky. Will puts a hand to the back of his neck and slowly turns around. Instinctively, they head to higher ground to try and see the source of the ash–it's clearly Upside Down-related, but how?  

They stand on a hill overlooking a burning Hawkins. This is crazy. This is crazy. Mike leaves for a week and his hometown is unrecognizable. One of his best friends is in a coma. Eddie is…he's…

Gone. 

Mike's barely been able to process anything. He needs to leave so he can think and he turns to Will, but Will is…

"Will?!" He cries. 

El's head turns sharply, and everyone else looks over. Will's eyes are rolled back in his head. It brings back terrible memories of being on the school field, watching helplessly as Will became possessed by a monster. His heart squeezes–this can't be happening again, can it? 

Mrs. Byers rushes over. 

"Will? Oh, god…" A trembling hand covers her mouth while the other rests on her head. 

Jonathan and Hopper look equally alarmed. Nancy looks surprised but calculating. 

"Nancy, what's happening?" He asks desperately.

"I– I don't know! Vecna shouldn't have enough strength to claim another victim."

"One is capable of many things," El says, which doesn't really help the situation, in Mike's opinion. Mrs. Byers seems to remember something.

"Oh! He was like this when he was possessed the first time, could it be like that?" 

Mike nods rapidly in agreement. 

"But I thought we got rid of that thing!" Jonathan says. 

"It's out of Will, but something like it is still out there," Hopper says darkly and with a haunted expression. Jeez, what did he go through? Mike wonders. 

"Vecna tranced me to send a message once…" Nancy trails off. 

"So is that it? A message?" Mrs. Byers asks a little hopefully. 

Before they have time to do anything else, Will gasps. 

"Will!" Mike and Mrs. Byers cry at the same time. Will is panting and looks shell-shocked. He meets Mike's gaze and his face softens.

"Mike…" 

Will reaches for him and Mike grabs his shoulders. He barely registers the way his heart skips at the contact. 

"What– what happened? Are you ok?" 

"I– He– " he stutters and his lips tremble. (Not that Mike is looking at Will's lips or anything.)

Hopper says, "Let's go back to the cabin and regroup." 

They all start to leave. Mike doesn't know what to do with his hands, but El comes up and wraps an arm around Will. He clings back to her, and he's reminded of how close they've become. They're so similar, and yet…

Will and El lean against each other on the couch. Will explains the message Vecna sent him. 

"He said…he said he's waiting. That he's gonna get his strength back, before trying anything. And he– he said he wants me to join him."

"'Join him' ?" Mrs. Byers exclaims at the same time Nancy asks "Why would he want that?"

"He said that we're…alike. And I should want to destroy society with him, because of how we've been treated."

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hopper asks. 

Will bites his lip and looks contemplative. “I– I’m not sure, actually. But…but it seems like we have time. I know he’s hurting. He won’t be ready to do anything for a while.”

“We can use the time to study,” Nancy says, which wasn’t what Mike was gonna say. But she has her determined expression on, so he's not gonna argue. 

Chapter Text

Soon after they return to Hawkins, El breaks up with him. She pulls him into her room in the cabin and closes the door all the way. That was his first clue something was different this time.

“Mike…” she starts, "You know I missed you when I was in Lenora." 

"Yeah, yeah," he nods, "And you know I missed you too of course!" 

"Right." 

They look at each other for a moment. El exhales audibly and sits up straighter. She looks certain about what she's going to say next. 

"I learned a lot about myself while I was at NINA. And I also learned that the world is not just good or evil…that people aren't. 

"Papa…he helped me get my powers back. And strengthened them. And I know I have a duty to protect others. But he…only cared about my powers. He saw me as a tool, not a person."

Her gaze has shifted to a spot somewhere on the bed between them. She looks up again at Mike. 

"You said you love me without my powers. But then you called me a superhero. And you invented powers I don't have," she swallows and blinks away the wetness in her eyes, "You see me as a tool–" 

"Wh– what? No! Eleven, I–" 

She narrows her eyes at him and says, "Let me finish. You are not like Papa. But you lie." 

Mike blinks hard at her bluntness. She only meant it about his words, but her intense stare makes it feel like she means a lot more. Mike looks away, ashamed. He wanted to give El what she wanted by being her boyfriend. He thought the truth would hurt her too much; but this way, he maybe hurt her even worse. 

He whispers, "I'm sorry, El." Then he glances at her and says, "I was trying– I just wanted to make you happy." 

She nods and considers it. Then she says, "I did ask you to say you love me, but I didn’t want you to lie. It doesn't make me happy for you to lie to me." 

Mike nods in understanding. He certainly doesn't feel happy being lied to. He starts to wonder if maybe he should tell El his whole truth, but she’s frowning in concentration. 

Eventually, she says, "I guess…Will was right. He said lying to you would make you mad. And it works the other way around–I was mad that you lied. I…I wanted you to love m–" her voice cracks, "--me. But for who I am, not what I can do." 

Mike almost feels like crying too: he hadn't realized how deeply his "confession" would hurt her…but he had been prompted by Will's words–that Mike was the heart. 

Mike suddenly remembers the painting: this breakup seems to contradict everything that Will said…how is that possible? Did NINA really change her feelings that much? There's also the question of the subject matter, since he didn't think El knew much about their D&D characters. But he had explained it to himself by thinking maybe Lucas or Dustin had told her.  

Before this breakup goes any further, he has to clarify something. He clears his throat and says, "Um. Look, I– I get it, and I'm really sorry for lying. But, uh…I'm a bit confused. See, Will gave me this painting that he said you commissioned, and he said that you said all these nice things about me, and…" he trails off because he can see the confusion on her face. 

After a moment, she says, "I'm sorry for lying in my letters, too. But I never…cuh-mish-shunned ," she sounds the word out, "a painting from Will." She pauses, then asks, "What did he say I said?" 

He’s a bit embarrassed to admit it; even if she felt those things once before, she clearly doesn’t now. 

He mumbles, "Um, well, he said that I, uh, make you feel better for being different…and that you…need me." 

She narrows her eyes and asks curiously, "Why would I…need you?"

Mike shrugs, since he doesn't have an answer.

She looks confused, and then says, "I don't know why he said I said that.”

“You and me both,” Mike mutters.

They sit in silence for a minute before El reaches over and places her hand on his knee. 

“Mike…” He looks up at her and she continues, “I don’t feel that way, but you are still important to me. We can be…friends.”

Mike nods, slightly relieved that she didn’t say she never wants to see him again. He’s about to express that sentiment when El adds, “But I still need some time to myself right now. I need to be there for Max. And Dad.”

"O–of course, that's totally fine."

They give each other small smiles that say things will be fine between them eventually. For a breakup, this was probably the best outcome he could’ve hoped for. A small part of him is glad he fumbled his speech in the pizza shop so badly; since El broke up with him, he didn't have to come up with his own breakup speech. He was really dreading that prospect–he knew it would have to happen sooner or later, but he really didn’t want to let her down or upset her. Turns out he managed to do that anyway, but still…in the end, it was her decision, which relieves Mike of a kernel of guilt he felt about the whole situation. 

***

Mike gives El her space over the next several days. He uses the time to go over what he knows about the painting: El said Will was painting something for his crush, and he brought what he made to the airport. He took it with them to go back to Hawkins. Then he told Mike it was from El, and Mike believed him, because why would Will lie? He could’ve been holding it for her at the airport. But El didn’t know about the painting…so this was… the painting supposedly for Will’s crush? No, there's no way that's true. But then again…the theme of the painting is clearly specific to Mike and the Party. 

Maybe El was wrong about Will painting something for a crush. She lied about other things, right? Or maybe… maybe there’s a secret painting that El never knew about. Yeah, that must be it. Will made the dragon painting for Mike for the same reason he’s made art for Mike before–as a symbol of their friendship. What doesn’t make sense is why Will would use that to further some lie about how El feels. 

He gets the opportunity to ask Will about it a few days later. Will’s staying at Mike’s house temporarily while his family figures out living arrangements. Will was supposed to return to Lenora with Jonathan and Mrs. Byers to help pack up their house, but Will argued that he needed to be in Hawkins “just in case.” His mom didn’t want him to stay because she said it would be asking for Will to become a target again, but Will wasn’t going to leave El alone in Hawkins as the only person connected to the Upside Down.   

Mike returns home with Will after volunteering at the school for the day. Will asks him, “Don’t you wanna go hang out with El for a little bit? You haven’t been to see her in a few days.”

“What? Did she tell you she wants to see me?”

“U–uh, no, I just assumed, since last summer you were always with her, and you’ve been apart for so long now–”

Mike cuts him off, “We’re not dating anymore.” 

Will freezes for a second on his way to the basement door, before turning to Mike and asking, “Really? What happened?”

“Um. She broke up with me?” he raises his voice at the end like it’s a question, but really he means isn’t that obvious?

Will’s face goes through a series of expressions Mike doesn’t fully understand before landing on sympathetic. Will says, “Mike, I’m really sorry. Do you, uh, do you wanna talk about it?” 

Actually, yes, but not in the way Will thinks. Mike says, “Um, I guess. Let’s go downstairs.”

They sit next to each other on the couch how they always have–almost touching, but still…still a friendly distance, right? Mike doesn’t think on it too hard. He never thought about it before either, but now it's different.  

He fidgets with his fingers for a moment before saying, “You don’t…you don’t have to worry that much about me. About like, the breakup y’know? I think it was inevitable, honestly.”

“Aw, Mike, don’t say that.”

“No, no, really, it’s fine. She wasn’t happy and, uh, the distance hurt us…” 

That’s definitely one way to put it, he thinks sarcastically. 

Then he continues, “But like…she didn’t know anything about a painting, when I mentioned it.” 

“O–oh…”

Mike turns to look at Will and says in a soft voice, “So…I don’t understand. Why would you lie about El’s feelings like that?” 

“I…I don’t know…” Will shifts nervously, “I just thought it would help, y’know? You were so worried about her, I thought it would help to know how she feels.”

“But she doesn’t feel that way."

“I– I didn’t know that!”

“So why would it make me feel better to tell me some lies?”

Will looks hurt, but he just shrugs in a fed up manner and says, “I don’t know, okay! I lied to try to help you, to be a good friend. I didn’t know she was planning to break up with you!”

“So if she hadn’t broken up with me, my relationship would’ve just been based on a lie? Thanks, what a great friend you are.”

“That’s not it! I–”

Mike cuts him off, “No, look, it’s…it’s whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore. Let’s just forget about it, ok?”  

Will looks like he wants to argue, but he just says “O–ok, sure...fine.”

“I’m gonna…um, go upstairs for a bit.”

Will’s face is a mixture of confusion and hurt, but he says “A– alright. I’ll…see you at dinner, I guess.”

“Yeah, at dinner.”

In his room, he lays on his bed and stares at the ceiling. He really can’t reconcile this Will with the one he knew. Will never lies to him, but he chose to lie about this? To push him towards a girl? It doesn’t make sense…unless…

There’s no way Will knows , right? No, they barely talked all year. Unless Will realized that Mike treated letters as romantic gestures and made the connection to why he wasn’t getting any…but he still made Mike a painting, so presumably he wasn’t so grossed out that he doesn’t wanna be friends anymore. 

Mike frowns at the ceiling. Maybe Will will explain it to him more later or something. At this point, Mike just wants to forget about it and move on. There’s still some time before dinner but Mike doesn’t want to talk to anyone, so to pass the time he pulls out the painting and studies the details again. He might want to move on, but he’s still allowed to appreciate art. Especially when the subject means so much to him.

Chapter Text

Almost an entire year goes by with no Vecna activity–the gates from the "earthquake" are surprisingly dormant. They use the time to prepare for the upcoming fight: El practices her powers and searches for Max in the void. They try to learn more about who Henry Creel was, and what exactly Hawkins National Laboratory was up to. School is essentially canceled for the rest of that year, which is good because it allows them all to grieve. Mike still can't believe Eddie's dead. Dustin tells him about how Eddie got involved in everything. He doesn't go into any details about his death beyond "he was a hero," and Mike doesn't need to know any more than that. He didn't know Eddie for that long, but he was the first adult who really made him believe that he can grow up and still enjoy the games he grew up with. 

It's almost equally upsetting to learn that the whole town blamed Eddie and Hellfire for the murders. Most people are still wary of any club members, and it sucks getting reminded that people will hate him and his friends while only knowing one thing about them. (If they only knew that his friends are the reason that things aren't exponentially worse.)

He can’t believe all this happened the moment he left for California–he almost wishes he hadn’t gone if it meant he could’ve been here to help. But going to California set in motion a whole separate set of events that also turned out to be important, both personally and supernaturally. If they hadn't gone to find El, she wouldn't have been there to save Max. Without the road trip, he has no idea what would have happened with Will's painting…maybe things between them would be less confusing now. Closer to what they were before. 

As for their ride to Hawkins, Argyle returns to California after getting asked a bunch of questions by the government and signing a NDA. Also, his parents were very unhappy about him disappearing for over a week and wanted him home ASAP. (According to Will, who heard it from Jonathan, his parents told Argyle he needed to leave "that white devil town" immediately, which Mike thinks is pretty fair given what the news coverage was saying about Hawkins.)

El takes needed time to herself; she spends it mostly with Hopper and Lucas (and by extension, with Max.) Later she admits to him that she feels much better as friends. She says that he’s important to her, but Max is her priority. Mike doesn't say anything, but makes a mental note that El might be in for some realizations if she can't balance having a boyfriend and a best friend at the same time…though, possibly not, since he was a pretty shitty boyfriend to begin with. 

The Byers-Hopper household purchases a bungalow that’s slightly bigger than where Will used to live. It’s at the far edge of town, and nobody is supposed to know the address except for “safe” people, for El and Hopper’s safety. His mom also happens to know the location since she's nosy and wanted to know where her two kids were going all the time. She actually "cares" now, after the rifts opened up. Or she says she does, anyway, and does her best to pry into his life. He does his best to avoid opening up.  

Even though the second semester of school was canceled, Nancy, Jonathan, and the rest of Hawkins seniors still manage to graduate roughly on time because the school worked out some sort of grading compromise that let them pass/fail their classes. (Apparently last semester of senior year isn't super important if you're already on track to graduate.)  

For the rest of them in school it’s more complicated since they need to actually "learn," so the school makes summer school classes to fit whatever curriculum got missed. Summer school sucks, but it's not as bad as what the county does for school arrangements starting in September–they have Hawkins kids get bused to the next town over, which is way worse than doing summer school because he has to wake up super early to catch the bus. The only thing that makes it all tolerable is that Will is back. Not only because he's Will, but he completes the original Party; and after everything, it feels extra important to keep his friendships strong. They all know the truth about what happened, and they all support each other when it’s needed. However, going to school in a different town also lets them move on from their grief, if only for seven hours a day. They try their best to be “regular” teens; ones who talk about and pretend-argue over their latest favorite movies, or who read comics together. Sometimes they talk about how much homework sucks or which teachers they think are secretly dating or if the school is actually trying to sabotage their development by serving shitty lunches. It’s almost how their friend group was before : before the Upside Down, before Vecna, before El came into their lives. Before they grew up and were forced to confront the adult world. But of course, all of those events have fundamentally changed who they are and how they act. It changes how they relate to each other; with the biggest difference between him and Will. 

Things between them have…almost gone back to normal. Mike tries to move on from the painting and the feelings it brings up. He's decided to do what he often does best: ignore and repress. He thinks maybe Will lying is retribution for their fight in July; but they moved on from that, so they’ll move on from this too, right? It only breaks Mike’s heart a little bit. Will doesn’t offer any additional explanation and Mike doesn’t ask any further questions. He suspects they both want to move on and go back to how things were when they were little, when it was so easy to be friends. When physical affection didn’t mean anything except a close bond. When communication came naturally and neither of them hid their emotions from each other.  Now, they’re working back towards that dynamic.

The bus ride actually becomes one of his favorite parts of the day because it's the perfect block of empty time where they can catch up on the last year. It's "rekindling friendship 101," even if sometimes the bus jostles them closer together so their legs or arms touch and neither of them move back to their original positions. It makes Mike's skin buzz at the points of contact–he just hopes Will hasn’t picked up on his heightened feelings. He’s trying his best to be friendly and repress any romantic feelings, but it’s difficult when Will is always there. Will goes around school without seeming to realize how charming and handsome he is. There’s some girls who definitely notice though, and it bothers Mike more than he wants to admit. Will never seems too phased by it, and when Mike brings it up on the bus ride home, Will always laughs and says the girls are just being nice, not flirting.  Mike can’t tell if Will is being humble or if he genuinely doesn’t get why girls would like him. Of course, Mike can’t get into that, because it’d probably be pretty weird for Mike to readily list off all the qualities that make Will “dateable.” Will also never seems very interested in the girls, but maybe his heart is still set on whatever girl he met in California who meant so much to him that he painted her something. 

So, their friendship is almost back to normal except for when the topic of dating comes up. It’s too complicated and revealing to ask Will any questions directly, so Mike drafts a couple more letters for the “do not send” envelope. 

Dear Will,

Sometimes I wonder why you never talk about your California crush with me. Did I do something to make you uncomfortable? I hope not. I try not to stare, but sometimes it’s really hard. On the bus this morning the sun was coming in through the window and you looked so beautiful in the golden light. I guess you sensed me staring and looked at me funny, so I tried to play it off like there was a bug on you and I was trying to kill it with my mind.  (You said I shouldn’t be killing bugs and should just let them go free, which is reason #36749 why you’re a better person than I am.)

I think our friendship is almost back to how it was. You still always make me laugh, and I love drafting campaign ideas with you. It’s also so much easier to go to school when I know you’ll be around later. I even look forward to the bus rides, which I never thought I would.  

Will you ever paint me another painting? I really love the dragon one, even if it feels so complicated to think about. I wish I knew where you came up with those feelings. Do you just know me that well, so you knew exactly what to say to make me feel better? Whatever it was, it means a lot to me that you went to all that effort to make me a painting even when I’d been a crappy friend by not reaching out for months. It reminds me that we’re still best friends even if I want to be more. That doesn’t matter, I’m just glad you’re in my life again. 

Love,

Mike

He doesn’t change his sign-off even though he’s more conscious of it now. “Love” accurately reflects his feelings. Plus, Will isn’t going to read these, so it doesn’t really matter how Mike signs off.

Chapter Text

March 22nd, 1987 is when things start to get scary again. He comes downstairs just as his mom is closing the front door.

"Who was that?" Mike asks. 

"Would you believe it was Lonnie Byers?" Mike freezes in place. "He was looking for his sons and said last he'd heard they were staying here. I told him they were with Joyce now–" 

"You didn't tell him where they were, did you?" 

His mom frowns at him and says, "Now, I know he hasn't been the best father, but why would I stop him from seeing his own family–Michael, what's wrong?"

He’s turned away to rush downstairs and get his walkie. Lonnie Byers showing up out of the blue is never good. 

"Will? Come in, Will. This is urgent! Over." He waits half a second and holds the talk button again. "Will, you need to pick up and I'm going to keep bothering you until you do. Over." 

He waits for a little longer this time and is about to start chanting Will's name into the walkie when he hears Jonathan's voice.

"Mike? Will's in the bathroom. What's going on? … Oh, over." 

"Your dad is going over to see you guys right now. Over."

A distinct pause. Static crackles and Jonathan says, "What? My dad's here? And you told him where we were?" He hears the accusation in Jonathan's voice. 

"Not me, my mom! Why is he here? Over." 

"I– I don't know! I'll see what happens. Can you wait for a bit? Over." 

"Uh, yeah, sure. Over and out." 

Thirty anxious minutes pass. His mom asks what's going on. Mike deflects by saying he doesn't know. (Which is true!)

The walkie crackles to life. Jonathan's voice says, "Mike? You there still?"

He answers in a heartbeat. 

"I'm here, what's happening? Over."

"Um…we're not sure…You should get over here ASAP, though. Over and out."

What the hell? Mike's pulse picks up and he grabs his bike to head over. He's been learning to drive recently, but he can't go anywhere by himself yet, so bicycle it is.  

When he gets there, he knocks on the door and it swings open within seconds. On the other side he sees…no one. He's momentarily confused before he realizes El must have opened it, which means this is extra serious. He walks in and sees all five of them sitting somberly in a rough circle. He takes a seat nearest Will and asks, "Seriously, what's going on?" 

Up close, he can see Mrs. Byers looks frantic in the way he's seen her when Will went missing or when he got possessed. 

Will asks him, "Mike, when's my birthday?" 

Well, that's pretty random–and doesn't seem to justify the current anxiety level of the room–but obviously he knows when Will's birthday is. It's…

It's…

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Why doesn't he know?

Will's face looks like a kicked puppy when he says, "It's today, Mike." 

No, that can't be true. How could he have forgotten?

El says, "Mom and Jonathan don't remember either." 

"And you guys all forgot last year, too," Will mutters.  

"What?!" Mike blurts in shock. 

"T–that's not true!" Jonathan protests. 

Will gives him a dirty look and says drily, "Really? You think I don't remember when you've apparently forgotten two years in a row?" 

Jonathan looks away, shamefaced. Mrs. Byers says, "Will, baby, I don't know how this happened…"

Will shrugs and says, "Well, I dunno, this time last year is when it all went to shit, so…"

"But you're serious that I didn't even say happy birthday or anything?" 

Will nods. She sits back with a pensive expression. Her gaze softens when she looks at Will. 

"Baby, I'm so sorry. You know I love you more than anything, right?" Will nods. Mrs. Byers starts getting teary and says, "Oh, c'mere," and puts her arms out for a hug. Will obediently goes to her and she wraps her arms around him. 

After a minute of their embrace, she says, "If we missed last year, what does that make you now…sixteen?" 

"Uh-huh," Will nods. 

She pulls out of the hug to look at him. 

"I can't believe it. My little boy is practically a man now," she says and pinches his cheek. 

Will pulls away, clearly embarrassed, and mumbles, "Mom, stop…"

"What? It feels like just the other day I was taking you to your first day of kindergarten."

Will's eyes quickly flick to Mike before looking back at his mom.   

Mrs. Byers looks pleasantly lost in the memory, but her expression sours. 

"See, I just don't get it. How could I not remember your birthday? I'm the only one who had to be there…"

Will wrinkles his nose, apparently at the reminder of being birthed. If Mike wasn't so stunned, he'd probably make a face too.

Mrs. Byers continues talking, "To think I was so mad that Lonnie could come in here and start acting like he's a better parent when he doesn't support you, or care about your interests! And I know your birthdays, I do. Jonathan's is July 30th, and Will, yours is…it's…" 

Will frowns at her when she doesn't come up with the date.

"March 22nd," Hopper supplies. 

"Right…" 

Mrs. Byers has a perturbed expression, meanwhile Hopper looks like he's forming an idea.

He leans forward and says, "Interests…like Will's art?" 

"Yeah, exactly!"

"What was that one piece you were proud of…?" 

She scoffs lightly, "You'll have to be more specific, there's a lot of art he's made that I'm proud of." 

"What about when he was…eight? Anything you remember?" 

Mrs. Byers makes a face and thinks, but finally says, "No…gosh, that was so long ago, nothing's coming to mind…what's special about when he was eight?"  

Hopper doesn't answer and turns to Mike instead. He asks, "When did you two meet?" 

"In kindergarten," Mike says automatically. 

"Yes, but where?" 

Mike doesn't understand the question.

"At…school?" He sees Will's face fall, so that's clearly the wrong answer. But…what other answer is there? Hopper is nodding slowly like he's connected the dots. 

He says, "I think I see a pattern." 

They all look at him desperately. Hopper continues, "Will's possession. We were trying to reach him by telling stories. The things you've forgotten–they're all something you mentioned at one point."

Tense silence settles over the room while everyone takes that in. 

Jonathan says hesitantly, "So this is…related to the Mind Flayer?" 

"Seems likely," Hopper responds.

Mike says, "But now we know Vecna is the one controlling the Mind Flayer." 

"So you're saying Vecna did this?" Mrs. Byers asks. 

"Maybe…" 

Will stands up suddenly and says, "I– it's hot in here. I'm gonna step outside for a minute." 

He leaves without looking at them. They all exchange looks. To Mike, it's clear that something's wrong–not only is it unlike Will to leave so abruptly, but he heard a tremor in Will's voice that means he's likely about to cry. They silently ask each other if one of them should follow Will. Mike gets up and finds Will on the house's small back deck. His back is to Mike, but his fingers are gripping the railing tightly. Will hears the door open and says, "I'm fine, Mom, I'll be inside in a minute." 

"Bullshit." 

Will whips around when he hears Mike's voice. Mike takes a step to stand next to him. He's turned his head away again, so Mike hunches to try and look Will in the eye. 

"What's wrong?"  he asks.

Will glances sideways at Mike as his fingers flex against the railing. He sighs shakily and starts, "I'm just so tired of the Upside Down ruining my life. I never thought that you guys had your memories stolen–"

"Well, that's quite a logical leap to make."

"Yeah, it is. So I thought you all had genuinely forgotten my birthday. Twice. And then I didn't even know until a few minutes ago that there's other memories we no longer share…" 

He looks at Mike with big, watery eyes. Mike feels his own eyes tear up slightly. 

"I– I had no idea–"

"It's okay, it wasn't your fault."

"No. I should have remembered somehow. I feel like the worst friend in the world." 

Will half-smiles at him. 

"You could never." 

Mike's heart squeezes and he gently pulls Will closer. Will's arms come up to grip Mike's back and he buries his face in Mike's shoulder. Mike feels more than hears Will crying. He rubs a soothing hand over Will's back and rests his head atop Will's. 

Eventually, Will says into his shoulder, voice muffled, "I just want this to be over." 

"I know. Me too. But we're going to win this, okay? We just have to stick together." 

Mike is forced to move his head from Will's when Will looks up at him. He smiles softly and raises one eyebrow. 

"Crazy together, right?" 

Mike's heart jolts at the memory.

"Yeah," he breathes, "crazy together." 

They stare at each other for a long moment. Mike suddenly has the urge to do something terribly stupid, like kiss him, and then he becomes aware of how they're standing–practically holding each other by the waist. He blushes fiercely and removes his arms in a way he hopes isn't too abrupt.   

"Should we go back inside now?" he asks. 

"Yeah, I guess."

They start to go in when Mike says, "Oh, wait!" Will looks at him and raises his eyebrows in a question. 

Mike says, "I– I, uh, don't have a present or anything, but happy birthday, Will." 

A soft, grateful smile lights up his whole face. 

"Thanks, Mike. And I don't need a present."

"No, no, I'll get you one. Oh! I need to get you two, actually."

Will smiles and shakes his head. 

"It's really fine, Mike, I–"

"No, you're getting presents, you deserve it. Just give me a week or two." 

Will ducks his head shyly. 

"Ok, fine." 

Mike grins and hip-checks Will.

"Now c'mon," he says, "let's go inside."

When they return, Jonathan and Mrs. Byers give Will concerned looks. He waves a hand and says, "I'm fine. Did you guys think of any other theories while I was gone?" 

"Yes," El says. She looks at Will and asks, "You said Vecna wanted you to join him, right?" 

"Yeah...but how is that related to taking their memories?" 

"In the lab, One taught me to use anger to activate my powers." 

"But I don't have powers." 

El frowns.

"Maybe not, but if you're upset enough, he could convince you to join his side." 

Will frowns as he considers what El said. 

Jonathan says, "But now we've figured it out, so that should benefit us, right?" 

"Right," Mrs. Byers jumps in, "you'll know that he's trying to manipulate you." 

“And you can resist him,” El finishes. 

"I don't know…" Will trails off. 

“Are you still too upset? About your family forgetting your birthday?” El asks.

“N–no, I…” Will’s face twists in nervous contemplation, “I just think that…he's been planning this for years; I don't think he'll give up that easily." 

"What do you mean?" 

Will's expression hardens and his voice strains with the effort to stay neutral. 

"He's very determined, and with his powers, he can see… everywhere. If he realizes I know you were made to forget, he could change tactics. He could come after you directly–" 

Jonathan cuts him off and asks, "How would that be better than turning you against us?" 

"Love is a powerful motivator, it could work," Hopper says. 

Love…Mike's heart stutters in his chest. He's been on better terms with Hopper ever since he and El broke up for good. But Mike doesn't know if Hopper would take kindly to the type of love Mike has for Will. He is a cop, after all. But…Hopper probably hasn’t even considered the possibility that Mike loves Will that way, so he must mean it in the platonic and familial sense.  

“What would that even look like? You know…if he came after us directly…” Mrs. Byers asks.

“I…have no idea,” Will replies, “But if he was able to take your memories without you ever noticing, I guess anything’s possible.” 

The room is silent as they all consider the implications of Will’s words. Jonathan breaks the somber atmosphere with “So, what should we do?” 

“Is there anything we can do? This is all hypothetical,” Mike says.  

“I would say our best bet is for you three to stay on alert,” Hopper says.

“On alert to what, though?” Mike shoots back. 

Hopper narrows his eyes.

“I don’t know, kid,” he says, agitation clear in his voice, “if you think you’re forgetting more than usual? If you feel like there’s large gaps in your daily memory? Anything out of the ordinary related to your relationship with Will.”

Again, Mike’s heart stutters when Hopper says “relationship,” but Mike knows that that’s a totally normal word to use in this situation. 

They resolve to just “stay on alert,” which is essentially what they’ve been doing all year, except now Mike’s aware of what a horrible friend he’s been. Objectively, he knows having his memory manipulated was beyond his control, but he still feels like he should have known somehow–like when he was sure that Will was still alive when he was first taken. 

After the group has made their "action plan"--if it could even be called that–they break into smaller groups: El and Hopper talk strategy in the living room, Mrs. Byers leaves to go to the store and Jonathan follows her out to go find Nancy, Will retreats to his room and Mike follows. 

In Will's room, Mike sits on Will's bed and watches him grab some pencils and an old sketchbook that Mike recognizes as the one Will uses when he needs to spontaneously vent strong emotions. Will sits next to Mike but farther back so his back is against the wall. A foot comes over and pushes Mike in the arm. 

"Move," Will says. 

"I'm not even in the way!" 

"What if I need to look over there and your big head is in the way?" 

Mike opens his mouth in mock-offense and shoves Will's knees playfully. 

"Uncalled for!" he says while Will chuckles. Mike moves back so he's sitting next to Will against the wall. Will smiles at him once he's situated before staring back at the blank page in front of him. He starts sketching something that looks abstract. He works quickly and uses deliberate strokes, and eventually Mike sees a form that he recognizes: the Mind Flayer. The forms around it look nature-inspired, but there's also parts that look like fires. 

When most of the page is covered, Mike asks, "Is this about anything specific?" 

"Not really…" Will shrugs.

"It looks pretty cool," Mike offers, "You know, like, edgy."

Will huffs a laugh. 

"I wasn't really going for 'cool', but thanks." 

He mindlessly starts adding some details. He looks like he's planning to say something, so Mike waits. 

Eventually, Will says, "I guess…I feel like Vecna, and the Upside Down, and all of it is just…all-consuming. And I wish it would go away, but I'm still tuned into his thoughts and feelings. And I– I think he's getting stronger." 

Mike inhales sharply and studies Will's profile with concern. 

"Why do you think that?" Mike asks. 

Will frowns.

"I…I can't say for certain. But I just have a bad feeling, like something's coming." 

"But– but we're prepared now. We have weapons, and El's been practicing–" 

Will shakes his head. 

"I'm not worried about El," he says, then turns his head to look at Mike directly, "I'm worried about you guys."  

"We– don't worry, we'll be fine," Mike reassures him automatically. 

"You don't know that," Will says with a hint of frustration creeping into his voice, "He's already changed you and no one realized, or– or even thought of something like that. We don't know what else he's capable of, and what…what if he tries something like he did to Max and the others last year, but to you and Mom and Jonathan?" 

"We won't let him," Mike says firmly. 

"It's not about letting him, it's about knowing it's happening so we can figure out how to fight it. I– I need you guys around, alright? So you have to be careful." 

Mike nods. 

"We will. And look, we'll figure out what to do to get our memories back from Vecna."

"Honestly, that feels less important right now…"

"What? No! Of course it's important. You're important." 

Will breaks eye contact and Mike swears his cheeks turn a little pink, but…but it's probably out of embarrassment, not for any other reasons. The phone rings distantly on the other side of the house. 

Mike continues, "There's no way I'm forgetting your birthday a third time. And…and whatever else I'm forgetting…I hate that I don't remember. It's so frustrating, because I'm sure it's important to us– to, to our friendship, I mean, and I don't wanna forget anything about you." 

Will looks at him then–his eyes are wide and expressive, full of an emotion Mike hesitates to name. They continue to look at each other for a moment before there's a knock at the door and Hopper's voice calls, "Mike?" 

Mike blinks and calls back, "Yeah?" 

Hopper opens the door and says, "Your mom wants you home to babysit Holly." 

Mike scrunches his nose and sighs. He starts getting up when he remembers and looks at Will. 

"Wait, but your birthday…"

Will gives a small smile and says, "It's fine, Mike. If you have to go, then go." 

"But…" 

"It's not gonna hurt my feelings any worse than last year." Will says it casually, but it's like a punch in the gut getting reminded what he'd inadvertently done. Mike's feelings must show on his face, because Will adds, "We'll do something when you give me my two presents, yeah?" 

Mike grins and nods enthusiastically. 

"Yeah, of course. Definitely then."

They smile at each other. Reluctantly, Mike turns and heads out.

Chapter Text

Max wakes up about two weeks after they realize Vecna stole their memories. (Mike really holds a grudge against the guy now.) Her limbs are healed, but incredibly weak. And she…she’s blind. The hospital organizes for her to stay at a rehabilitation center for the next month or so in order for her to rebuild her strength and adjust to her blindness. She tells them that during her coma, she managed to sneak into Vecna's mindscape and saw a memory that might be important. But neither the hospital nor the rehab center allow for enough visitors at one time–or afford them the needed privacy–so they have to wait to hear what she has to say.

***

Over the course of the following month, Mike occasionally has a particularly vivid nightmare. In the first one, he's at the quarry looking over the edge. Troy’s voice taunts him:

"Why don't you jump, freak?” 

“You’ll just fly around like the other fairies, right?”

Mike feels helpless. It feels like he’s really standing at the quarry’s edge. His grown up brain tells him not to jump, but his 12 year old brain is spiraling. The feelings war within him until he hears a new voice behind him:

“You couldn’t protect them, and you still can’t. You should’ve given up.”

He thought he was just re-living the memory, but he tells his dream self to turn around, and he does.

“That’s not true!” his twelve year old voice says.

“Isn’t it? Look what happened.” 

The dream shifts and he’s on the school field watching Will stand motionless. 

“N– no. This wasn’t my fault,” he mumbles.

“But you left him.”

That’s right. They had split up, and then this happened. The image around him shifts again. He’s watching El fight the demogorgon in the science classroom.

"Goodbye, Mike," she whispers.

I couldn’t protect her either, he thinks dejectedly.

Bizarrely, he feels like he’s being watched. He turns around. Red flashes in front of his eyes and he wakes up suddenly. 

He’s had similar nightmares before, but this one felt more real because it was like he had given his dream-self agency. But then a voice he’s never heard before was present, which was unusual. He thinks his mind must be coming up with new ways to torture itself.

***

About a week later, there’s another vivid dream.  

Will’s face right after Mike had yelled “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” 

But instead of the argument continuing like it did in real life, Will sneers and says, “Really? You’re gonna use that against me?”

“W–wait, no, I– I didn’t mean it like that–”

“Oh, yeah? How else could you have meant it?”

“I– I don’t know…” His brain feels foggy: he understands the moment with more clarity now, but the dream is combining his new feelings with old, and he has no answer for Will. 

“I think you know perfectly well, and it hurts even more because you said it. I can’t believe you would stoop that low. You really are ruining this Party!”

Will turns and bikes away just how he did in real life. Mike stands there, stunned. He only ever replays the fight in his head. The fight has never morphed into something new, into something that attacks Mike directly. But what Will said was true–he did ruin the Party that summer, by being too attached to El. By trying to move on from childhood and become an adult. By ignoring Will.

He tells his dream self to sit, and he does. He puts his head in his hands: what is he doing? 

“Running away,” a disembodied voice says. Mike looks around, trying to find the source, but there’s a strong crack of lightning and he wakes up. 

He thinks the voice is the same as the one from his previous nightmare, but he can't say for sure, since he was still reeling from what dream-Will said. 

***

The third dream is one of the worst. It starts with Eddie saying, “You just wear whatever your mom buys you from the Gap.” 

Unlike in real life, dream-Mike manages to reply, “N–no I don’t. Look!” He gestures to his club shirt and ripped jeans.  

His dad’s voice says, “So, you wear highschool drop-out clothes?” 

Mike looks and his dad is sitting across from him at the lunch table. He shrugs nonchalantly and says, “I guess it’s better than looking like a queer.”

Mike flinches at the name. His dad sips his coffee and looks at Mike with an eyebrow raised. He says, “You think I don’t know, son? You’ve barely talked to a girl in your life. Your friend moves away, and your mother starts complaining to me about you running up the phone bill. What am I supposed to think?”

His dad figured him out?! No, this is a dream. It’s not real. His dad doesn’t know. 

But then the dream shifts, and he’s watching himself talk to Will on the phone. He sees what Nancy sees: someone with an obvious crush. 

Mike shakes his head as if to erase what he’s seeing. The dream grants his wish and he’s transported back into his body. He’s standing in front of his mom at the kitchen counter, but instead of his report card laid out, it’s the stolen magazines and his “Do Not Send” envelope. 

“I was cleaning your room and I found these. Can you explain? I won’t be mad.”

But Mike knows how she reacts: she doesn’t get mad, she gets disappointed. And then works with his dad to punish him.

“You’ve turned out to be such a disappointment, Michael.” It’s that same disembodied voice again. The voice continues, “You’ve seen it: society wants you dead. You wanted you dead. Why not fulfill what everyone wants from you?” 

He’s back at the quarry as he steps off the ledge. Any agency he had is gone, and all he can do is fall. El isn’t there to save him. Maybe this would be a less painful way to die…

Right before he hits the water, he wakes up with a gasp. He’s sweaty and trembling, and not in the good way. He focuses on not hyperventilating anymore and blinks rapidly to stop tears from falling.

***

Mike doesn’t think the dreams are connected, but they’re definitely disconcerting. He wonders if Max waking up has triggered his brain to relive his worst moments and deepest insecurities, since a lot of them happened right before she fell into a coma. But some of them run deeper than the confusion he felt at fourteen, so it’s a bit of a weak explanation. It’s concerning, sure, but he’s not exactly ready to discuss these things with his friends and family, so he decides to keep it to himself. 

Chapter Text

Once Max is released from rehab, everyone in the “Upside Down crew” gathers at the Byers-Hopper house. It's both the safest place to have this conversation and the easiest for Max to navigate since most days she still uses a wheelchair. Max starts to explain what she saw in Vecna's mindscape. 

"I saw memories where he was somewhere where they were…studying him, almost."

"'Studying'? Like, his powers?" Mike asks. 

Max frowns.

"Sort of…because, well, they were observing him and how he interacted with other kids, but it wasn't just passive watching. They would come in and 'correct' him." 

"Tell him how to do the experiment properly," El says, seemingly recalling her time in the lab. 

"No, I…it didn't seem powers based. It was more behavioral." 

"Like a sociological experiment?" Nancy asks. 

"I guess…but they weren't very nice about making the corrections. So I'm not sure what they were trying to do." 

"Well, what happened?" asks Mrs. Byers.

"So, one of the memories it was like, a baseball game, and everyone was given a choice to play or not. But it was a false choice, because if you said no, they made you do it anyway. And they would kind of shame the person who said no in front of everyone, too."

"What kind of stupid-ass study forces you to play baseball?" snarks Erica. 

"Yeah, and how is this relevant for understanding Vecna?" Steve asks. 

"Well I don't know for sure if this is important, but it was in a part of the void that was harder to get to. Like he didn't want me to see it."

"Maybe he's looking for revenge," Lucas offers. "We know he wants to get rid of our world…" 

Dustin scoffs, "So, what? He's gonna destroy society because he was part of a misguided experiment once? That seems a little much."

Until that point, Will has looked to be in deep concentration, but now he asks, "Was it all boys, in the study?" 

"Hmm…" Max thinks, "Yeah, in the baseball memory it was. There were some other group activities with girls, but not many. Honestly, kind of sexist if you ask me." 

“What makes the gender important?” Dustin asks. 

“I…” Will hesitates, “it explains a theory I was wondering about.”

“Do you have an idea about why this would be hidden from Max?” Nancy asks.

Max adds, “Or if it’s important at all?” 

Will lets out a short, sharp laugh. 

“Why was it hidden? Yeah, I have a guess. If it’s important? That’s…less clear.”

“Well, what is it?” Lucas prods. 

Will looks conflicted for a moment before taking a measured breath. He says, “For one, it’s a shame-related memory, so that’s probably why it was hidden. For how it relates to his existence as Vecna, I think…I think rebelling against the doctors is one of the core forces that drives him. He wants to get back at them, for how they made him feel.”

“What makes you so sure?” Nancy asks.

“Well…I can’t say that this is his only motivation but…I understand now, why he said we’re alike.”

The room waits silently in anticipation. Will does a shuddered exhale, and then sits up and squares his shoulders. He looks at his Mom and Jonathan, then quickly glances Mike's way. Then he says,  "What Max saw…they were trying to make him…not gay. He resents society for it, and he…he’s using the feelings of shame to motivate his destruction. So he thinks…it’s why he targeted me to join him.” 

The room is silent once again as they process Will’s answer. El tentatively raises her hand as if she was in class. Will nods in her direction and she asks, “What is gay?”

Will purses his lips like he's holding back a smile. He answers, “Well, it describes someone…” he noticeably swallows, “someone like me. Someone who likes other boys.” 

El frowns and says, “But I like boys too.” 

Mike would find her confusion amusing if his brain wasn’t stuck thirty seconds ago when Will said him and One were alike because they’re both gay. 

“No, well, gay is for boys who like other boys,” Will explains.

Will has been gay this whole time? So was he crushing on a boy, and that's why he never brought it up? 

“Oh, ok,” El says. Then she frowns and asks, “Why…were they making him not gay? Is it bad?”

Will's expression turns downcast and Jonathan jumps in to answer for him, but Mike isn’t listening anymore. Half his brain is processing the Will news, the other half is thinking about how Will called Vecna's memory “shame-related." It reminds him of his intense, almost-lucid nightmares of the last month. He remembers how he was supposed to stay on alert to any Vecna tricks and wonders if maybe…    

There’s a lull in the conversation and Mike speaks up.

“Since we’re sharing, I think…I think Vecna might be targeting me.”

Shock passes through the room, with everyone asking variations of “What?” and “How?”

Will asks him, concern etched in his features, “Why do you say that?” 

"I– I was just…reflecting on the past month. And some of the nightmares I had were extra vivid that they seemed almost… real. And there was a voice I didn't recognize that was, like, taunting me. I thought my brain was just creatively torturing me, but now…I’m not so sure.”

Lucas says, “But Vecna didn’t target Max in her dreams.” 

“Yeah, how do we even know this is his doing?” Steve asks.

“Could be a new tactic to throw off the enemy,” Hopper says. “He was unsuccessful, so now he’s looking for a weak spot in our defenses to catch us off-guard.” 

He looks at Mike with an unreadable expression–Mike can’t tell if Hopper is concerned for him or judging him for being a so-called “weak spot.” Though what stands out to Mike is the language Hopper used--it reminds him that Hopper was probably in ‘Nam just like Lucas’s dad. He grudgingly increases the respect he has for the man. 

“But we all have nightmares, what makes these ones special?" Erica asks skeptically.  

Everyone in the room looks at Mike and his chest squeezes with dread. He stutters, "I, um, wh– what do you need to know?"

Hopper says, "Well, it might help if we know what the nightmares were about."

"Um…" Mike hesitates.

Max says, “Look, Mike. I didn’t share what was going on with me, and look what happened.”

“Max, don’t–” Lucas starts, but Max cuts him off. 

“No, I’m serious. I pushed you all away, and Vecna used that against me. I don’t want the same thing to happen to Mike, too.” 

Mike swallows: he understands Max’s point. Really, he does. But fear has rooted itself in his core: it turns his chest cold, squeezes his lungs, makes his fingertips numb. When he opens his mouth, it’s like a physical force is preventing any words from coming out. He makes eye contact with Robin, trying to telepathically let her know what it is he can't say. 

She seems to understand because she says to the room, “Hey, can’t we just believe Mike? If these nightmares were bad enough that he thinks it’s Vecna, it probably is.” 

“We can’t just make plans based on hunches!” Erica snaps. 

“Agreed,” Nancy says and looks at Mike expectantly. The words still won’t come. 

Mrs. Byers suggests, “Maybe there’s just too many of us right now,” she looks at him with a gentle expression, “Is that what it is?” 

He does a small nod. Nancy glares at him, then appears to make a decision. She stands and asks Mike to follow her. She pulls him outside onto the back deck. She asks bluntly, "What's going on?" 

Mike looks away and shifts uncomfortably.  

"I– I can't say it." 

Nancy huffs in frustration. She crosses her arms and says, "Look, I don't know what's going on, but getting targeted by Vecna is serious–"

"You think I don't know that!" he snaps.

"Exactly, so you understand! What is it, something embarrassing? Are you ashamed?" 

His face must give him away because she says, "Look, I get why you maybe wouldn't wanna share something embarrassing with everybody. But I remember when you went through a phase where you insisted on wearing your shirts inside-out everywhere, so don't think I've never seen your embarrassing moments. I know we don't really talk, but whatever this is, it can't be worth dying over. And I swear, if you lie to me or tell me it doesn't matter, I'll–"

He doesn't enjoy getting talked-down to, so he cuts her off by saying, "I'm gay."

Nancy stops talking and looks stunned. For Mike, however, his breathing shallows–he's never said that out loud before. It's real now. He can't take it back or try to pretend he’s normal. He thinks that he doesn’t like having this label that exposes something so personal to anyone he meets; but here he is, finally claiming that he is different. 

Nancy regains her composure and attempts to calm him down. She raises her hands placatingly. 

“Mike…it’s alright. Just take a deep breath, okay?” 

He leans back against the railing and tries–unsuccessfully–to steady his breathing. Nancy comes over and leans on the railing next to him. 

He says, in between shaky breaths, “Are you– are you not gonna say anything?” 

“I, um…I just don’t know what to say. I’m surprised. What about El? Didn’t you love her before?”

At the reminder of El: how he strung her along for months, how he never liked kissing her, how she didn’t commission a painting or say everything he wants to hear, his emotions get the better of him and he breaks down crying. 

“Oh, Mike…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just curious." 

Her hands hover near him unsurely, before she puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him closer. Once he’s not crying too hard to speak, he mumbles, “If you hate me can you just say it?”

“What! Hate you?” She pushes him back to hold him at arm’s length. “Is that what you think?”

He can’t look at her face and just shrugs in response. 

“Mike. Look at me.” He reluctantly makes eye contact. She continues firmly, “If you think there’s something you could do that would make me hate you, you’re wrong. You’ll always be my little brother, and I love you, and nothing will ever change that. You understand?” 

He nods and wipes at his face roughly. She removes her hands from his shoulders and looks at him sympathetically. Then her face turns considerate and she says, “So this explains how you made the Vecna connection earlier…is that all he targeted you about?” 

He hesitates but says, “Y–yeah, that’s everything.”

Nancy narrows her eyes and says threateningly, “Michael…"

He scowls at the use of his full name and stares at his feet. 

He starts, “There…there is another thing. That appeared a lot. I, uh, the week Will went missing. I was, uh…Troy caught up with me and Dustin, at the quarry. He was mad about me pushing him and El making him pee his pants–”

“What?!” 

Oh yeah, he never told this story. 

“It’s– nevermind, it doesn't matter. The point is, Troy was mad. He was threatening Dustin with a knife…said he would take his teeth out if I didn’t jump,” he chews his lip and scuffs his toe on the ground. He doesn’t really want to admit this to his loved ones–he feels ashamed and slightly embarrassed that he was ever at that point. He sighs and says quietly, “So I…stepped off the cliff.” 

“You what?! ” Nancy exclaims loudly. “That would’ve killed you–”

“I know!” he snaps and looks up at her. She makes a face that begs him to explain more, since he’s obviously not dead. He says simply, “El…she saved me.” 

Nancy breathes out and says, “Mike…oh, my god…” and she surprises him with a fierce hug. When she stands back, her face is a mixture of terror and relief. Mike still can’t fully look her in the eye. After a moment, he recognizes her planning expression. She starts thinking out loud.

“So, hidden sexuality, suici–” she chokes on the word, “--depressive tendencies, and you’re close with Will. You’re basically a perfect Vecna target.”

Mike laughs humorlessly. 

Nancy continues, “If he’s been sending you visions, he’s getting stronger. But, like Hopper pointed out, this is a new tactic and we can’t know what to expect. We'll still need to talk to the others and develop a strategy.”

He makes a panicked noise, because minutes ago they all wanted him to share the content of his visions in order to make a plan. Nancy looks at him and considers. 

“You probably don’t need to out yourself. The, uh, the…jump will probably convince everyone that something serious is starting.” She scans his face and asks, “Are you…ready to go back in?” 

Mike takes a deep breath, exhales, and nods. He told Nancy his secrets and the world didn’t end–though it might soon–so he can face the others. They start heading inside when Nancy whirls around.

“Now, I know I said there’s nothing you could do to make me hate you…” she sees the panic in his face, “Being gay is not one of those things. But stealing my jewelry…" she narrows her eyes and points a finger at him, "you’re on thin ice."

He scoffs, “What? That was so long ago!”

“Yeah, and I don’t appreciate it when you steal my things!”

“Holly takes your stuff too!”

Nancy rolls her eyes. “She’s seven, Mike.” 

“So?” 

She huffs, “Ugh, whatever! Just don’t do it again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. 

They rejoin the group inside. Everyone looks at them when they walk in and Mike feels super awkward. Nancy doesn’t seem fazed and launches right into her ideas of what to do next. He sits next to Will, who looks back at him concerned, but Mike mouths “I’m fine” and turns to focus on the group. He knows Will is definitely going to want answers later, but he gratefully takes this buffer time before he’s forced to admit any friendship-ruining things.

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, Mike avoids Will and Will doesn’t pry for more details about the whole Vecna thing. After the last meeting, they had formed informal groups for planning purposes and today are reconvening in the Wheeler’s basement. Mike is hiding in his room pacing from nerves. (He used to pass the time by bouncing Will’s rubber band ball off the walls, but his mom scolded him about making marks and causing damage.) His door opens suddenly and he startles. 

“Hey!” He snaps, thinking it’s one of his sisters. He calms down when he sees it’s Will, but then his heart rate picks up because it’s Will. 

“S— sorry, I thought you were one of my sisters,” he explains sheepishly. 

Will closes the door again and says, “It’s alright.” He gives Mike a good-natured smile, and Mike’s reminded just how good-looking Will is. It causes Mike to just stand awkwardly and Will frowns.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing!” Mike says too quickly. Will gives him a look that says he doesn’t believe him. “Seriously, I’m fine,” he amends.

“If you say so…” Will says skeptically, then adds, “You can talk to me, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Mike glances at the closed door and Will notices the look. Will stiffens and says, “Unless...unless you’re uncomfortable and don’t wanna be friends anymore…”

“What! Why would you say that?”

“Well, I dunno, you tell me. I come out to everyone and suddenly you start avoiding me and acting weird, so what am I supposed to think?”

“It’s not that, I swear! I just…I’ve been dealing with my own stuff…”

“Yeah, we all are, Mike. But I would’ve thought we could still talk to each other, since we’re best friends. Or maybe we’re just not as close as I thought, since you don’t tell me anything anymore.” 

“What do you mean? Of course I tell you things!”

“You never told me about what happened at the quarry!”

“Well, what did you want me to say? ‘Oh hey, Will guess what? I almost killed myself because I couldn't protect you?’"

Will looks stunned speechless. After a long moment he says, “Is that…really why?”

Mike scrunches his face. “I dunno! Kinda? I was feeling a lot then! I thought I had just seen your dead body pulled from the same quarry. Troy was mocking me and you at the same time. And threatening Dustin! So I– I thought…if I could just do this one thing–”

“What? Die?! ”

Mike falters, “I– I dunno, I guess?”

Will’s face makes a complicated mix of pity, grief, and sympathy. 

“Mike…” he says softly. He walks over and wraps Mike in a hug. Mike drops his forehead onto Will’s shoulder and squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to stop his emotions from taking over. They hug each other for a minute, before Mike realizes that this is kind of non-platonic. And even if Will is gay, it doesn’t mean he likes Mike. So Mike freezes a little bit, and Will picks up on it. 

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?” 

Mike knows what. Will removes himself from the embrace and stands back awkwardly. Mike acutely feels Will’s absence. 

“Like, I– I get it, I guess. If you don’t want me to touch you anymore, that’s like…that’s up to you–”

“No! Will, it’s not like that, I swear…” 

The hurt look Will gives him stops Mike in his tracks. He’s just about to admit everything, when there’s a quick knock on the door and Nancy appears. 

“Everyone’s here. We’re meeting downstairs in two.” And she’s gone again.   

Will and Mike stare at each other for a moment longer. Then Will turns and shrugs and says, “I guess we should get going.” 

He leaves while Mike’s mind is in a panic: he can’t let Will think he’s grossed out by his touch! He has the opposite problem, actually. Mike realizes he needs to come out soon, but the soonest would be at the meeting they’re about to have. Is he really ready to tell everyone that he’s gay? He sighs internally. For Will, he’ll just have to be. 

He psychs himself up as he heads downstairs: He can do this. Two people in the room already know. And no one rejected Will when he came out. He lets out a breath and thinks positively—it’s gonna be okay.

***

The meeting starts with general reports from the various groups: Steve, Dustin, and Erica; Mrs. Byers, Hopper, and El; Nancy and Robin; Will, Lucas, Jonathan. When it gets to Mike, he says, “I– I want to share what... all of my Vecna visions were.”

“You left things out?” Erica exclaims.

“Why wouldn’t you tell us all of it, dude?” Dustin asks.

Nancy asks, “Are you sure?”

Not really, Mike thinks. But he says, “Yes, I’m sure. I think it’ll help.” 

He glances at Will who has a blank expression. He starts, “So I, well, last time we figured out that Vecna targets people who feel guilt, or shame, because of his own past. And...and you guys know now about what happened at the quarry, but... but there’s something else...something that ties me more directly to Vecna.

“His hidden memories, they’re what made me realize he was targeting me because...we’re also similar. It wasn’t just the feelings of shame, it was the topic, too. We’re both—” he does a shuddered exhale, “both gay.”

The room is dead silent. And then, to Mike’s horror, he hears laughter. Will’s laughter. 

Will says, “Oh, so that’s why you’ve been so awkward? Do you, like, like me or something?” 

Mike is stunned speechless. Why would– why would Will say it like that? 

“Honestly…” Will shakes his head in disbelief, “I mean, you told me to grow up, and I have! I’ve moved on from you. You’re too late, and it’s a little bit pathetic.”

Will stands and Mike sees that his eyes aren’t normal—they’re fogged over and milky white. What the— ? The room around him darkens and transforms into…

Into…what is this? Where is he? It must be some version of the Upside Down, but how is this happening ? He’s running before he even realizes he’s moving. He makes it to the garage when he wonders where he should go. Lucas’s house is next door, but instinct tells him to go farther. So…school? There's lots of places to hide there and it's relatively close. He sees his bike leaning against the wall but...it’s his old bike? That’s weird, but if that’s what’s available…

He considers the advantage to disadvantage ratio of riding a too-small bicycle when the garage door opens and not-Will appears. 

“Why are you leaving?” it asks, “We still need to talk.”

Instinct has him start running--seems like the bicycle option isn’t happening. Ugh, if he wasn't already in a version of hell, he thinks having to run to school would be pretty much the same thing. Adrenaline gets him almost there when he hears behind him, "Mike!" 

Will’s voice. But it couldn’t be the real Will, so it must be a trick to trap him. He keeps running, but in any dimension Will is definitely faster. A hand grabs his shoulder and spins him around. 

“Mike, it’s me.”

Mike scans Will's face and sees his eyes are their regular hazel. He stares in disbelief. 

“Are you– are you real?" he asks.

"I am."

"But…how…?"

"I'm borrowing El's powers to find you." 

"Why didn't…why didn't El come?" 

Will looks briefly disappointed but then explains, "Uh, we thought…we thought I would have more luck reaching you, but…but I can go–"

"No! Don't leave." He grabs both of Will's shoulders to keep him in place. Fear catches up with Mike and he looks around wildly. "What is this place? How did I get here?" 

"It's like what happened to Max, but we didn't realize he would activate his final trap so soon."

"So am I…in my mind?" 

"A version of it, yes."

"What– what am I supposed to do?" he asks desperately.

"Um, so we were talking and thought that maybe facing what's tormenting you would help you escape. But…but I don't know how you face against depression–"

"I don't have depression!" Mike protests. 

Lightning crashes in the distance. Will gives him a meaningful look. 

"Mike…you have to at least acknowledge it." 

"But…I can't be…I’m fine,” he emphasizes.

"Mike…” Will says again gently, “Healthy people don’t step off cliffs.”

Mike opens his mouth to protest again, but realizes that maybe—just maybe —Will has a point. Plus, if admitting it is what’s going to get him out of here, then he supposes he can momentarily accept the diagnosis. 

Mike slides his gaze to the ground and mutters, "Maybe I do have…depression." 

Will nods encouragingly. He says, “Good, that’s good, it’s a step forward.” 

Then he frowns and looks around. 

"I still sense danger. Is there— is there something else?"

Despite his earlier determination to come out, the subsequent curse has shaken his confidence. He hesitates, but when he looks Will in the eye, his face is so open and encouraging. It’s the opposite of his hurt, guarded expression from earlier; and remembering that expression reminds Mike he needs to correct Will’s assumptions. He blurts, “I’m gay!”

Will just blinks at him. 

“Wh– what?”

“Do you need me to say it again? I—“

“No, no, I heard you. I just…it doesn’t make sense…” Will says the last part almost to himself. 

“Huh? What do you mean, it doesn’t make sense?”

“I just…if you’re gay, then why have you been distant...” 

Will backs up so Mike’s hands aren’t on his shoulders anymore. Will holds his arms around his middle and says, “I guess you figured out my feelings. And clearly you don’t feel the same, which is fine–”

Will keeps talking, but Mike is stuck on my feelings… Will has feelings…for him?

“But what about your crush? In California?”

Will looks at him confused.

“Mike, what the hell are you talking about?"

Mike is confused too.

“You– you had a painting, for your crush. That’s what El said, at least. There’s the one you gave me, and I know El didn’t actually commission that one, so I thought there was a second painting you did that she didn’t see. For your crush on some hot Californian guy…”

Will looks like he can’t decide if he should laugh or cry.

“El told you I did a painting for my crush?” Mike nods in response. “And you...you thought... what, exactly?” He sounds completely baffled. 

Mike explains again, “Well...El told me you didn’t let her see what you were painting. So by extension I thought that she just didn’t see all of your paintings, since you made the dragon one for me, and then she saw you painting whatever it was for your crush.” 

“Oh, my god…” Will shakes his head in disbelief, “That's not…that's not it at all. I was painting for my crush, but it's you !"

All the breath rushes out of Mike.

"Really?" he asks in a small, hopeful voice. 

Will blushes. 

"Yeah…" he says shyly. In the next moment, his expression visibly closes off. 

"So why have you been avoiding me? Do you…not wanna be friends anymore?" 

"What? No! How could you–" 

"Well, if it's not homophobia and you're not repulsed by my crush, why would you distance yourself? Did you not wanna open up, or–" 

“It’s because I’m in love with you!”

Now it’s Will’s turn to look stunned. 

Will breathes out a soft, “What?”

Mike steps to move closer, but something curls around his ankle–a vine. They make momentary fearful eye contact before he's forcefully dragged backwards.  

“Mike!” Will cries. He throws his hand out, like El does, and suddenly Mike’s not moving backwards anymore. He turns around and sees the vine ripped in two. There's still a part around his leg, so he kicks it off and scrambles to his feet. 

“How’d you do that?!” Mike demands.

“I don’t know!” He sounds genuinely perplexed and is staring at his hand in shock and confusion. There’s a loud crack of thunder and distant screeching sounds. Will looks determinedly at Mike.

“You have to get out of here!”

“I’m not gonna leave you in here!”

“Mike, it’s your mind! I’ll survive, but you have to escape!”

Mike looks around, “But where do I go?!” 

Will doesn’t answer because his gaze is on something behind Mike. He turns around to see vines racing towards them. Will is frozen in place, but he lifts his hand slowly, as if testing to see if he’ll be able to do what he did again. 

Will looks at Mike fiercely. 

“Run, Mike!”

He knows he has to. But, if this ends badly for either of them…

He surges forward and kisses Will. He pulls away and Will blinks back at him. Mike mouths “I love you,”  then turns and runs towards the school. He trusts Will and doesn’t look back, just keeps moving forward. He doesn’t know where, exactly, but he makes it to the school field. In the distance, he sees the playground. Slides, teeter-totter, swingset. Wait. 

Something pulses in the back of his skull, and he’s forcefully reminded of being five and asking another lonely kid to be his friend.

His head pounds. He gasps, and he’s back in his body: he’s sitting on the floor of his basement surrounded by their group of Upside Down survivors. 

“Mike!” Nancy cries. She half-tackles him in a hug and he unthinkingly hugs her back. He notices El on the floor across from him. Her nose is bleeding and she’s taking off her blindfold. In front of her is Will, cross-legged and eyes moving rapidly beneath his eyelids. 

“El!” He cries. “What's happening?”   

She looks at him and furrows her eyebrows. 

“I…don’t know.” 

“Huh? How? Wasn’t Will borrowing your powers? He’s still in there!”

She nods and says, “Yes, he was. But we’ve…disconnected.”

“What?!” Mike, Jonathan, and Mrs. Byers all cry at the same time. 

“I…lost our tether. He– it is like he gained his own ability.”

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mrs. Byers asks. 

"I think…I think something activated latent powers in Will," Mike says distractedly as he replays what just happened. 

"How is that possible? Jonathan asks.

Nancy asks, "Are you sure?" 

"Well, when I was in there he broke a vine that was dragging me just by throwing his hand out." 

"But what could've activated his own powers?" Lucas thinks out loud.  

"Anger," El says. 

"Were you guys fighting?" Nancy asks 

Mike fights not to blush as he says, "N– no, not exactly…" 

"Maybe it's any strong emotion," Mrs. Byers suggests. 

"Like fear," Dustin offers. 

"Or love," says Robin.

Mike looks at her in surprise and mild alarm. She shrugs and makes a face that says you know I'm right. 

"Yes, love," El agrees, "like when I revived Max."

He hears a tiny squeak out of Max, but only him and Lucas look over to see a faint blush rise on her cheeks. Mike turns his attention back to Will–with every second that passes, Mike gets more and more nervous. He trusts Will, but Vecna is powerful. He beat El and she trained with her powers her whole life. Will, on the other hand, didn't know he had any powers until a few minutes ago, and is generally a non-confrontational person when dealing with bullies. 

He and El keep their attention on Will while the others work on backup plans. El's eyes are focused and alert, her body tense and ready to respond in case there’s immediate danger. An extremely tense few minutes go by, when finally Will’s eyes shoot open. 

“Will!” they all cry. 

Will pants and reorients himself to the physical world. He sees Mike and his eyes soften, but he quickly looks to the rest of the room and says, “I know how to defeat Vecna.”

Chapter Text

Will tells them the plan. Apparently, there’s some kind of “brain” of the Upside Down in the library where the gates meet. Will and El are going to go to the Upside Down version of the library and confront Vecna. Nancy and Hopper will attack from the right-side up, and everyone else is appointed to defense spots along the borders of the gates. Max and Lucas will stay at Mike’s house as home base. He gets put with Erica at the spot farthest from the main battle, which stresses Mike out. 

"Are you sure I can't be at the library? What if something goes wrong?"

"You don't know how to shoot a gun, Mike," Nancy says flatly. 

"So? Can't I be, like, emotional support?" 

"We can't risk people unnecessarily," Hopper says.

"Why can't emotional support be necessary?" 

"El's done this before, Mike," Max says. 

"But Will hasn't!" 

"We can handle it," El assures him. 

Mike opens his mouth to protest again, but Will says, "She's right. Plus, I won't be able to focus if I'm worried about you getting hurt."

"I'll be fine! Nancy and Hopper'll be there." 

"Not there to babysit you," Hopper says. 

Nancy just gives Mike a dirty look. He sighs dramatically in defeat. All of a sudden, the ground rumbles and the lights flicker once. Anxiety fills the atmosphere of the room. 

"We should go," El says gravely. 

People start moving and Mike blurts "Wait! Does the plan have to involve both of them going into the Upside Down?" 

"Yeah, I'm not sure I like that idea," agrees Mrs. Byers. 

"It's the only way we can fight him directly," El says. 

Mrs. Byers makes a face that says she agrees with El but isn't happy about it. Everyone starts moving again and Mike trails after Will as he makes his way upstairs. 

"But you only just figured out you have powers, and we don't even know what activated them, so what if something happens and it doesn't work or–"

"Mike," Will stops and spins around, "this is the plan. I know you're not happy with it but it's how we're going to win." 

"But…" 

"And it's not like I'm going alone. El will be there, and she's just as ready for this to end as I am." 

With that, he turns and heads to the garage to find lighter fluid. Mike keeps following him even though he's supposed to go find the ammo Nancy has hidden somewhere. 

"I'm just…it's so dangerous!" 

"I'm aware, Michael," Will deadpans. 

Mike frowns and is ready to plead his case on the dangers of the mission, but Will is paused in front of a low shelf. Looking at his profile, Mike can tell he's reflecting on what to say, so he waits. Eventually, Will says, "It's not like I'm looking forward to going back there. But this time it's my choice. I survived before and I can do it again."

"I just wish you didn't have to," Mike says quietly. 

Will looks at him: his eyes are gentle but the rest of his face is set and determined. 

"This should be the last time we face him. We know what to do now, and then it will all be over."

Mike sighs, resigned. He knows this is how it has to be, but it doesn't mean he needs to be happy about it.

"Alright. I trust you. If you believe you can do it, then I believe in you too." 

They share eye contact that's heavy with words unspoken. Will turns and starts moving things around on the shelf before saying in a playful tone, "You know, something that might help is if I got a kiss for good luck…" 

The question shocks Mike but in a way that makes him feel giddy and buoyant and… hopeful . Will glances at him out of the corner of his eye–he's blushing but the set of his shoulders tells Mike he's nervous. Mike bites his lower lip to prevent a grin from splitting his face. 

"You're clever, you don't need luck. You have to come back alive, then you can get your kiss." 

Will's lips quirk into a smile and his eyes dance with amusement. Honestly, it's hard to resist just kissing him again right then, but Mike doesn't want to jinx anything before they can have a proper conversation about what their relationship is now. 

They hold eye contact a moment longer when the door to the garage bangs open behind them.

"Mike!" Nancy says, "What are you doing? Let's go!" 

He rolls his eyes before turning around and it makes Will chuckle. He follows Nancy back into the house and tries not to think to hard about what's about to happen.

***

Despite his earlier assurances, when it's finally time to take their positions, Mike is incredibly anxious. El and Max huddle in the corner and similarly Mike pulls Will aside. 

"You have to come back alive, ok? I'm not losing you again." 

"You won't lose me. We're prepared. We'll win." 

"Ok. Good."

He exhales deeply. As confident as Will sounds, it's obviously risky. Mike notes that Will doesn't make any promises about returning, which, well…he doesn't know how to feel about that. Just before Will turns away, Mike grabs his hand and squeezes once. Will meets his gaze and for a moment Mike sees the fear and anxiety reflected in his eyes. Will squeezes back and then his confident mask returns. 

Mike gives his reassurances to El and everyone else before finally heading to his post. The following minutes feel like the longest of Mike’s life–he has no idea what to expect or how they'll know if the Upside Down is gone for good. He spends most of the time pacing nervously until Erica yells at him to cut it out. He doesn’t know exactly how much time has passed when he hears the town clock strike the hour, but one glance at his watch tells him it's not the hour.

"Why did the clock ring? Does that mean something?" Mike asks frantically. 

"Like I know!" Erica snaps. 

They train their eyes on what they can see of the center of Hawkins. There's a low rumbling beneath their feet, and the few streetlights or store signs they can see start blinking rapidly. His whole body tenses in a conditioned response to faulty lighting. 

The walkie crackles to life next to him. Max's voice comes through, but the connection is the worst it's been all day.

"Di –– hear th–? What –" 

Before he has time to answer, he watches the portion of the Upside Down that's bled into Hawkins start storming violently: red lightning cracks across the sky followed by a loud claps of thunder. The rumbling intensifies and he watches the four fissures-slash-gates collapse into themselves. He hears distorted screeching and hopes it’s all the demo-monsters screeching their last breath.

Once the gates fully collapse at the library, the storm disintegrates and everything goes silent– completely silent, like a blackout.  

"Do you think it's over?" He wonders out loud. 

Erica speaks into the walkie, "Home Base, do you have any news? Over." 

Momentary silence, then Lucas's voice says, "The power's out, but that's all. Over." 

Seconds pass, then Robin's voice comes through the speaker, "We don't see any membrane barrier to the Upside Down near us. Over." 

"We should go to the library," Mike says. He needs to make sure Will and El are okay. 

"Is it safe, though?" Erica asks.  

"Maybe? Let's go closer to get in range."

He starts moving before she gives an affirmative. Erica follows after him. 

"If it's not safe, promise you won't go charging in anyway?"

"Yeah, sure," he says noncommittally. 

"Seriously, I know you wanna run in there and save your boyfriend, but–" 

He whips around and cries, "Boyfriend?!" in equal parts shock and alarm. Erica just raises an eyebrow at him. 

"What?" she asks. 

"I– we're not– he's not my boyfriend !" 

" Okay, well whatever you call yourselves, it would be stupid to die trying to be a hero when we're literally the 'last defense' team." 

He huffs, "Well, I wasn't planning on doing anything like that. I just need to know what's happening. Also, we're not dating!" 

"Well, tell him that the next time he makes googly eyes at you," she snarks. 

"Wha– he doesn't– Will doesn't do that." 

"Trust me, he does. You probably don't notice 'cause you're busy making googly eyes back–"

"Hey!" he interjects.

"But if you're really not dating, it's definitely a weird friendship you two have," she finishes. 

He scowls at the ground: he supposes she has a point. He just can't believe that Lucas's kid sister noticed anything was different.

As if reading his mind, she adds, "Don't worry, Lucas and Dustin are totally clueless. They're only capable of thinking about girls. Totally gross." 

Mike snorts in amusement.

When he thinks they've gone far enough, he starts radioing to the core group. After a few tries, Hopper answers.

"This is Vecna's Worst Enemy, we copy. El says the brain is destroyed. No sign of monsters in our vicinity, over." 

"Sounds safe, we should go," he declares. 

Erica must agree because they both quicken their pace. Once they make it to the library, he takes in the scene: the building still technically has four walls, but the four converging gates have destroyed its structural integrity. After maneuvering over the rubble and into the library itself, he can see blue through the ceiling and the insides are a charred husk of what was there, but there's no sign of supernatural forces from what he can tell. Nancy, Robin, and Steve are carefully examining the former gates in the room. In the center, an exhausted looking El leans heavily against Hopper. Other than being covered in Upside Down slime she looks unharmed. In front of them, the Byers are huddled on the floor in a hug. Will clings to his mom and Jonathan holds him from the side. 

"Will!" Mike cries and rushes forward. He scans Will's body and only sees slime, some scratches, and…a lot of bruising.

"Are you ok? What happened?" He asks worriedly. 

Will looks too exhausted to speak, but he manages to say wryly, "He got me. Vecna. But this time…I could fight back." 

"So, is he…is it…are we done? He's gone?"

Will nods. 

"Me and El, together we…we confronted him. He was…mad at me, that I wouldn't fight with him. But he had been isolated, and that made him angry and choose revenge. For El and I, we have all of your love and support. I think ultimately that was too much for him. He couldn't keep his control over the Upside Down, and I think…I think that weakened connection helped us bring him down."

"So this is finally over?" Mrs. Byers asks as she gently pushes some hair off of Will's forehead. Will's eyes gloss over with tears and he looks up to El. They hold eye contact before she whispers, "Yes." 

Mrs. Byers closes her eyes against tears of relief and holds Will close to her. Mike looks between Will and El: it's almost surreal to think this horrible chapter is behind them now. He hesitates to fully relax, since before they had thought that everything was done just for it to continue haunting them. 

Steve announces, "I'm gonna do one final check, make sure everything's actually gone." 

Nancy says, "That's a good idea, I'll come with you."

As they leave, Mike thinks of something. 

"Will we know that he's never returning if our memories are back?" 

“We destroyed the brain, so he is dead,” El says.

Will says, “Since he’s dead, they should be back.”

"How are we supposed to know if they're back if we didn't know they were missing?" Jonathan asks.

Mike asks, “Will, you don’t happen to remember more of what we said in the shed, do you?”

“Other than you mentioning my birthday? Uh…not really…I was kinda out of it.”

"I know a few," Hopper chimes in.

Before Hopper can start, Mike adds what is probably important information.

“When I escaped Vecna, it was the memory of when we first met that saved me. You said it was one I had forgotten, but when I finally remembered, there was a shooting pain at the base of my skull. Maybe the returned memories trigger pain.”

Mrs Byers says, “I’ve had a dull headache almost all day. If I had a sharp pain, I probably brushed it off thinking it was the start of a migraine. But a migraine hasn’t developed yet, so…” she trails off.

Jonathan adds, “When the gates collapsed, I felt a pain at the back of my head, but I thought it was a piece of debris hitting me.” 

“So your memories might be back,” Hopper guesses, before launching into what he remembers of that day in the shed.

They relive what happened—Mike does his best not to cry and almost succeeds at it, too. But, in a short moment when the rest of the Byers are distracted by Max and Lucas showing up and Nancy and Steve returning, Will says to him softly, “Were you really saved from Vecna by the memory of when we first met?”

Will’s eyes swim with complex emotions and it forces Mike to look away. He still feels subconsciously guilty about forgetting such an important moment. On top of that, he’s overcome with the emotions he felt in the shed: the desperation, fear, and love that prompted him to say that meeting Will was “the best thing he’d ever done.” The sentiment still holds true, but he wonders if maybe he should’ve figured out the gay thing sooner. Regardless, it’s after Will’s question that he loses his composure and chokes up. Two fingers lightly touch his jaw and turn his head up to look at Will. 

“You know I’m not mad that you forgot, right?” 

Mike swallows hard and says, “I know. I’m also— it’s also because that moment in the shed...I was so scared, and I really meant what I said. You’re so important to me, Will, I—“ 

The sound of cars approaching stops Mike from finishing his sentence. After so many minutes of eerie stillness, the cars are extremely loud and noticeable. The atmosphere of the room shifts dramatically, and Mike knows at least what Will is thinking about: the shootout in California, and all the traumatic events that immediately followed. They stand up and he places himself in front of Will and El, who stood up with them. Everyone in the room tenses and waits for the government suits to arrive in the library.

Chapter Text

After the government arrives, Mike doesn't get a moment alone with Will for several days. The agents survey the area and ask everyone who was there a bunch of questions. They spend extra long with Will and El because, well…they did most of the work. Mike gives his statement—reluctantly—and even though he thinks he deserves some rest after everything, his mom still makes him go to school. The days drag on and he hardly pays attention to his classes because he’s worried about El and Will: even though the Upside Down is destroyed, he doesn't trust the government types not to do harm to either of them. He calls their house every morning to check what's going on. On the third day, he learns the agents will be leaving, but their mom is letting them stay home and rest. He gets through the school day without absorbing a single lesson and goes right to Will's house after school. Will answers the door and Mike's heart leaps in his chest.

"Hi," he says. 

"Hi."

They just smile at each other for a long moment. They'd probably have stood there longer when suddenly the door moves and knocks into Will.

"El!" He turns around to glare at her where she's standing in the kitchen entrance. She shrugs.

"Well, are you going to let him in or just look at each other?"

Will huffs and moves out of the way to let Mike in. Mike thinks he's glad his own sisters don't have telekinetic powers. 

"Let's go to my room?" Will says. 

As they head in that direction, Will glares at El. She sticks her tongue out at him. Will closes the door to his room and they sit next to each other on his bed.

"Are you ok?" Mike asks immediately. "They didn't hurt you, right?" 

Will chuckles softly.

"I'm fine, Mike. They only wanted details on what happened.”

Mike stares at the severe bruising around Will's neck and wrists. He picks up one of Will's wrists and lightly strokes his thumb over the inside bruises. 

Will repeats, "Really, I'm fine. The bruises will heal soon. I'm just relieved that this is finally over."

At that, Mike looks up and holds eye contact with Will. 

"Me too," he whispers. 

Will's eyebrows slant upwards as he looks at Mike tenderly.  

"I was so scared when Vecna did his final curse. It felt so unfair that he would go after my lov– my closest people to get to me. I– I almost feel responsible for exposing you guys like that to his evil..."

"What? No! There's no way you're responsible for what he did. If anything, it's my fault for being such a good target.” 

Will rolls his eyes.

“You’re not at fault for having unresolved issues.”

“Yeah, well…it sure didn’t help,” he mutters. 

“Though I’m kind of upset that you didn’t realize something bad was happening earlier…”

“I wasn’t expecting him to arrive in my dreams! ” 

“I know that, but that also means you have these kinds of nightmares regularly enough that it didn’t ring any alarm bells.”
Mike scoffs, “So?  It’s not even that bad compared to what you or El or Max have had to go through.”

“You can’t compare traumas ‘cause none of us have the same background. Even if you think your stuff is ‘less than,’ it’s still important. It clearly affects you often enough.”

“What are you, trying to be my shrink or something?” he snaps back defensively. 

“Mike…” Will says frustratedly, “I’m just trying to be a good…a good friend, ok? I’m here for you if you ever wanna talk.”

Mike’s heart stutters at Will’s stutter over “friend.” 

“Thanks,” he says quietly. Then he adds, “You are a good friend. A best friend.” 

They watch each other for a moment. The silence is uncomfortable in a way that’s uncharacteristic for them. Will asks suddenly, “Why did you kiss me?” 

Mike frowns in confusion. 

“You asked me for a kiss but you don’t know why I kissed you?” 

Will’s face flushes and he looks vaguely nervous.

“I– I thought it was, like, I dunno, an end of the world desperation kind of thing…”

“I mean…it was because either of us could have died. "

"So you…you meant what you said? About…”

“About being in love with you?" Mike finishes for him. "Of course. Why would I lie about that?”

“I– I dunno, just, like, historically you’ve said things during high intensity situations that you don’t necessarily mean…”

Mike frowns down at his lap and fiddles with his fingers as a distraction.  

“Yeah, you're right, I have. But…with El, it's not like I hate her, right? I just don't love her like that . Like, the first time I said it I was worried and…I dunno, I conflated that worry with love. But then, after you guys left and some…er, developments happened, I realized what love actually is. And it's not what I felt for El." 

He looks directly at Will in an attempt to signal his true meaning. Will stares back with a question in his eyes. 

Mike drops the eye contact and admits, "You know, I don't think I ever told you what our big fight in California was about. It was…I couldn't say I love her. And, well, I didn't know I was doing it in a way she would realize, but I knew I was pretending in our relationship. So when I told her in the pizza shop, I was prompted by what you said. Then it turns out she had no idea about the painting, so I was left wondering why you lied to me so specifically . It was like you knew exactly what to say to make me fall in love, but you used it to push me away…"

"I– I didn't realize…" Will says softly. 

Mike shrugs because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“What I said…it really made you fall in love?”

Mike smirks, “Well, I was already in love. Your words just made me feel loved in return.”

“Oh…” Will breathes. 

Mike’s still looking down, but Will’s hand comes up against his jaw and turns it towards him. Will looks him in the eye and says, “I– I didn’t lie, in the van. I mean, yes, I lied and said they were El’s feelings, but…but they’re really my feelings. And I meant what I said…all of it.”

Will’s voice is so sincere that it makes Mike’s breath catch like when he opened the painting for the first time.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." 

Mike drops his eyes to Will’s lips–an involuntary habit–but this time when he looks back up, there’s a mutual understanding between them. When Mike looks down again, Will tentatively moves closer and Mike meets him in the middle. It’s a brief, tight-lipped kiss–similar to most of his kisses with El, actually. But even after such short contact, Mike knows it’s different. When their lips met, it wasn’t just pushing body parts together, it actually felt like something.

They pull away and stare at each other. Will’s face shifts and he asks nervously, “Um, was that…was that ok?” 

“Um, yes, obviously, I just got to kiss the boy I like.”

“Actually not obvious, ‘cause...you know...you’ve kissed before and I…” he trails off. 

Mike’s mouth drops open.

“I was your first kiss?” 

Will looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“What? Don’t look at me like that! There was a moment where you disappeared at the Snow Ball and I thought maybe you and Julia had found a place to kiss or something.”

Will pulls a face that says he hates that idea. Then he says, “Her name was Jessica, and I was almost definitely hiding in the bathroom to get out of dancing again. Also, we barely knew each other, why would we kiss?”

“I dunno! Curiosity?” 

“It’s not science class, weirdo.”

Mike rolls his eyes.

“Well, whatever, you could’ve kissed someone in Lenora for all I know! People always like you and you’re attractive, so it wouldn’t be hard.”

Will frowns but his mouth quivers like he's holding back laughter. 

“Ok, one, I was hardly there long enough to get close to anyone. Two, there’s no way I was gonna out myself to someone I barely knew just to kiss them.  Three, I haven't said anything all year about missing someone special, so what makes you think I kissed anyone?”

Mike scrunches his face up in frustration. 

“Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid. But for months I thought there was some girl you liked that you weren’t telling me about.”

“A girl?!” 

“Wha— I wasn’t gonna assume anything about you based on shit bullies say!” 

“Oh, that’s...nice, actually,” Will says softly. A moment passes and Will frowns contemplatively. He asks, “Is that how you came up with the second painting idea?”

“Um...yeah, I guess. El said you had a crush on someone, but I thought that there’s no way it could be me, so there must be someone else.” 

“And you never wondered why I never said anything to you about this “girl” I liked so much?” 

“I— I thought you were avoiding talking about relationships with me. Like, you didn’t wanna confide in me about romantic things as a way to say that things between us need to stay platonic.”

“That’s…” Will shakes his head, “that’s really convoluted, you know that, right?”

“Well, now I do,” he mutters while staring at his lap.

Will laughs and leans over and kisses his cheek. The action surprises Mike—he puts his hand up to cover the spot that Will just kissed and feels just how warm his cheeks are.

“Ah— sorry, I didn’t mean— if you didn’t like that, I won’t do it again, I just—“

“What?” He cuts Will off and looks at him. “That's not– I’m just surprised, is all." 

"Oh." 

He gives Will a cheeky smile and says, "You’re pretty bold, Byers, you know that?” 

Will ducks his head bashfully. 

“Oh! Wait, that reminds me…” 

He throws his hands around Will’s neck. Will frowns in confusion but then Mike looks at his lips again, and confusion turns to understanding. Mike leans in and kisses Will—still close-lipped but for slightly longer than the last one. It feels like a tiny spark connects their lips together. Mike pulls away and says, “ That’s your good luck kiss.”  

Will smiles and looks at Mike fondly. Something delicate passes between them. Then Will puts his arms around Mike’s neck and gives him a teasing smirk.

“Now I know you think I'm attractive, too.”

Mike’s face still feels hot but he rolls his eyes.

“What, are you gonna use that against me?” He pitches his tone sarcastically, “ Ooh, my boyfriend thinks I’m attractive, I'll blackmail him to do what I want now.’ ”

He doesn’t even realize what he said until he sees Will’s stunned-slash-hopeful expression.  

“We’re boyfriends now?” 

“Uh…” he looks down shyly, “I just assumed, from the kissing and everything. If you— if you were thinking something different, then—“

“No! I like boyfriends. I definitely want that.”

They stare at each other with what are probably matching expressions of joy. They lean in to kiss again, but their smiles make their teeth clack together. 

"Oops," Will laughs.

“Let’s try that again,” Mike says.

This time, their lips connect properly. He kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him. Sometimes when one of them pulls back for air, they'll make eye contact and start giggling before clumsily getting back to kissing. Now he understands the allure of kissing, because he feels like he could do this forever. 

After–well, Mike's not sure how much time passed–they stop to catch their breath. Faces inches apart, they stare at each other, both in awe that this is even happening. Gradually, Will’s expression grows more serious and he says, “So…how are we gonna handle this?” 

Mike frowns in a question and Will continues, “Like, I know you’re not out, and I don’t wanna force you to come out before you’re ready. So, I don’t mind if you wanna keep this a secret, I just think we need to figure out what we’re gonna do.”

Mike’s stomach twists: he was so caught up in the joy of knowing Will likes him back and that he gets to call him boyfriend now, he forgot the rest of the world existed. He frowns down at the bed cover.  

“I…” he starts, then sighs. How are they going to deal with this? Well…more so how is Mike going to handle it–Will is already out and would probably be comfortable telling all of their friends and family. Mike was prepared to come out when it meant repairing his and Will's friendship, but now that that's solved, he's less confident about telling everyone. It’s still a hard thing for him to voice out loud. He considers the people in his life who don't already know: Lucas and Dustin. El and Max. Will's family. His parents…

His parents. He hadn't seriously considered telling them until now. It was always something he thought he could just hide until he was old enough to move out. He could still do that, but somehow everything is different now . He feels how right this is: calling someone “boyfriend.” Kissing him. Loving him. His sexuality is no longer this nebulous concept of “otherness” that separates him from “normal”--he has to seriously contend with the fact that he’ll never fulfill certain expectations his parents have for him. In a way, he’ll be letting them down. As much as he complains, there’s a part of him that still wants their approval. What would they even do if he told them? He pictures the scene: his mom’s concerned frown and his dad’s vaguely interested stare as he sits in front of them. He opens his mouth and starts to say, “Mom, Dad, I’m…”

His imagination won’t even let him get farther than that because fear squeezes his chest and the numb feeling creeps back in. His breathing comes in short bursts.

“Mike? What’s wrong?” Will asks, concerned. 

“I can’t tell my parents!” he blurts. 

Will nods understandingly. 

“Yeah, of course. We don’t have to tell them anything.”

Mike exhales shakily and Will squeezes his hand reassuringly. Now to think about everyone else…  

“We…I…we can tell Nancy. She already knows about me, so I’ll tell her before she figures it out herself. And then…El, probably. Since she’s around us so much and didn’t even know what gay was until you told her.” 

Will huffs in amusement at the reminder. Mike’s brain continues cycling through people: to tell them that he’s dating Will–and in turn outing himself–is he ready for everyone’s perceptions of him to change? Everyone left has known him for years–except for Robin, but if anything, she’ll just tell him "I told you so!"  The rest of them have established perceptions of who “Mike” is. Revealing this makes him visible in a way he’s never been, as well as open to their judgment. Would they question him because he used to date El? They were all accepting of Will, but would it be different if they come out as a couple?

He doesn’t realize his eyes are wet until he sniffs. Will’s other hand cups his jaw and rubs a thumb along Mike’s cheekbone.

“Hey, it’s okay. I told you, we don’t have to tell anyone before you’re ready.”

Before Mike’s ready. So it is his fault this is so difficult. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“It's fine, Mike. Do you think I wasn’t terrified when I came out to everyone? But I knew at least I had Mom and Jonathan's support," he smiles wryly and adds, "Honestly, I think they were just waiting for me to tell them. But telling everyone else? It was scary. So I get it, okay?" 

"You seemed so confident, though." 

"I mean…I guess? That doesn't mean I wasn't scared. Plus, well…I've known who I am for a long time. So I've spent a lot of time thinking about if I wanna come out and how I would do it. But it's not easy."

In response, Mike simply buries his head into Will's shoulder and hugs him close. Will hugs back and smooths a hand over Mike's head and down his back for comfort. Once he feels a little less emotional, Mike tries to remove himself from the hug, but Will squeezes so he's forced to stay a moment longer. It occurs to him that perhaps the hug wasn't just for his benefit–they both find comfort in each other. They both need each other. 

He gets released from the hug but only moves back far enough to look Will in the eye.

“I love you, you know,” Mike whispers into the space between them. 

Will's eyes widen in surprise but quickly soften as he says, "I love you, too.” 

Will kisses him sweetly and Mike kisses back. He feels the spark again—it arcs between their lips and makes him feel golden on the inside. The kissing starts sweet and innocent until some instinct tells him to do more and he pokes his tongue out. Will makes a noise of surprise but opens his mouth and lets Mike in. It’s weird at first, moving your tongue around in someone else’s mouth—and slightly awkward trying to figure out who’s leading—but the process of figuring it out just means they get to keep making out, which Mike is perfectly happy with. More than happy, actually. He cards his fingers through Will’s hair and Will trails his down Mike’s back before they graze lightly over his side. The sensation forces Mike to break the kiss.

“What?” Will asks, slightly breathless. 

“That tickled,” Mike admits bashfully.

Will’s eyes light with recognition.

“That’s right, I forgot you’re ticklish there…”

Mike wants to forget this happened and go back to kissing, but Will’s face has turned mischievous.

“What are...Will, don’t— ah!” He yelps and falls backward as Will starts tickling his sides. He rolls around trying to escape but it doesn’t work. He struggles a moment before trapping Will’s hands in his grasp and holding his arms up so the relentless fingers are far away. Will sits astride Mike’s waist and grins impishly at him.

“You’re…” Mike pants, “ridiculous.”

“But you love me anyway,” Will preens. 

Mike can’t help but smile fondly. 

“Yeah…”

Will leans down and gives him a quick kiss. They’re still holding hands and Mike asks suspiciously, “Are you gonna tickle me again?" 

"Noooo…" Will says unconvincingly.

Mike glares but there's no malice behind it. Will says, "What if I did this… " and places his hands on either side of Mike's waist. The heat of his palms radiates through his shirt in a way that makes his heart beat faster. Mike puts his arms around Will's neck to keep him close. Will takes that as an invitation to slide a hand up but it makes Mike flinch slightly. 

"So sensitive," Will teases. 

But the tension in the air has shifted from childish fun to something heavier. One of Will's hands shifts underneath to rest against his shoulder blade and the other comes up and cups Mike's jaw. He leans down and smiles into another kiss. And another. And another. This time their tongues get involved almost immediately. He thinks he could do this forever. He can feel something building between them but before he can try anything bolder there's a knock on the door. 

“Will?” 

They freeze before jumping apart and trying to look casual–like two best friends hanging out after school. Will scrambles and produces a pencil and sketchbook from under the bed which he then props up against his knees. Mike grabs a comic from the nightstand and opens it randomly. They sit at opposite ends of the bed.

“Yes!” Will calls. 

Jonathan opens the door and steps inside. 

“Will– oh, hey, Mike,” Jonathan says. He pauses before saying anything else and looks between them questioningly. Maybe their seating placement is a bit conspicuous, but it’s too late now to do anything about it.

“What, Jonathan?” Will asks impatiently. 

Jonathan shakes his head and says, “Mom called and said she’s gonna be late. She wants us to start dinner.”

“Why don’t you ask El? She’s been home all day!” Will whines. 

“So have you.”

“Yeah, but–” Will glances at Mike. 

Jonathan lightly rolls his eyes.

"Fine. Are you staying for dinner, Mike?”

“Uhh…” Mike looks at Will, unsure if he should or not. “I dunno, I can go–”

“No! Stay, you should stay,” Will says quickly. 

Mike smiles at him.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll stay.” 

He looks back to Jonathan who’s squinting at them suspiciously. Mike tries to make his face neutral.

“Okayyy then. Don’t forget to let your mom know. I’ll go ask El and then you can come down later, if you’re not…busy.”

Mike can’t help the blush that rises to his cheeks. Will looks the same. Jonathan smirks and turns to leave, but before he does, he says, “Oh, Mike? Your book is upside down.”

Mike looks at it and spins it around quickly, but Jonathan’s already left the room–closing the door all the way again. Will glares at him.

“Good job, idiot!” 

Mike gapes at him. 

“How is this my fault! You begged me to stay." 

"I did not beg. "

"Close." 

"Nu-uh." 

“ Okay, well, what do you think Jonathan thinks?"

"Umm…" he looks vaguely embarrassed, "He might have an idea about us…or maybe not! He closed the door all the way, after all."

"Yeah, probably 'cause he's your brother and not your mom ."

Will scrunches his nose as he realizes Mike has a point. Mike slants his mouth in consideration.

"Maybe we should tell him…" he thinks out loud.

Will immediately placates, "Seriously, if you're not ready we don't have to say anything. He can suspect all he wants, but he won't say anything unless we tell him." 

Mike nods silently.

"Hey," Will says gently and reaches over to grab Mike's hand, "I'm just happy we're together. We can take our time telling people." 

"Ok," he whispers. 

Mike communicates with his gaze to say everything else he's thinking: Thank you. I love you. I'm so happy about us. 

Will’s eyes respond: We’re a team. I’ll always support you. I can’t believe this is really happening.  

Once the moment passes, Mike asks tentatively, "Should we actually go help with dinner?" 

Will heavily rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically.

Mike adds, "We don't have to…we can always stay here and kiss some more.”

Will smirks in response. 

"I like that a lot better. But…" he sighs, "I guess for appearances we should go down."

"Welllll…they probably don't need us right away…”

***

Several kisses later and they finally head to the kitchen. El seems to be trying to chop an onion by levitating the knife until Jonathan turns around and says, "El…" in an exasperated tone. El pouts and the knife falls to the counter. Clearly, this is an argument they've had before.

El sees Mike and asks, “Are you staying for dinner?” 

“Yeah, most likely.”

Jonathan looks at him meaningfully and Mike says, “It’s not a big deal! Mom knows where to find me if she wants."

“Alright, but I take no responsibility for your whereabouts.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Mike shrugs and sits at the kitchen table. 

Will hovers between the chair and sink–probably debating if he actually wants to help or not. Mike realizes that one of the two people he wants to tell about him and Will is here. 

“Hey, El, is your dad gonna be here soon?”

“No, he called to say he’s going to be late as well.” 

Will makes a face.

“You don’t think they’re like, going on a date or something, are they?” 

Jonathan pauses his movements in consideration. El sniffs and says, “They could be.” She looks upset about it, but Mike knows it’s just from the onion chopping. 

Date or not, all Mike cares about right now is that they won’t be interrupted by parents. He traces the wood grain pattern in front of him while he builds up his courage. He wants to tell El. Jonathan…probably already knows. Or at least, strongly suspects. And if he’s going to tell Nancy and not Jonathan, that leaves her with a big secret to keep. He doesn’t, like, care about her relationship, or whatever, but he understands that withholding information from someone you care about is always stressful. 

He lets out a breath and says, “Hey, guys? I wanted to tell you something.” 

He makes eye contact with Will, just to check in and make sure he’s still okay with sharing their new relationship status. Will looks surprised, but not frightened, which is a good sign. He briefly wondered earlier if they should hold off on telling people in case they break up in a week or something, but just the thought hurts his heart. Plus, it already feels so natural to call Will his boyfriend, he thinks that’s probably a good sign they’re going to last. 

He takes a deep breath to steady himself, then announces, “Me and Will are dating.”

The room is silent, but Will nods at him encouragingly. 

Jonathan turns and looks between them both. He smiles good-naturedly and says, “That’s great, I’m happy for you guys.”

Mike lets out a breath internally. He turns his attention to El.

“Should I be surprised?” she deadpans. He and Will exchange bewildered looks and she says, “I am just kidding. If you’re happy, then I’m glad.”

Mike grumbles to himself that she’s been too influenced by Max, but he gives her a relieved smile. He feels like a small weight has been lifted off his chest. 

Will says, “But, um, we’re not telling anyone else right now…”

“I’m gonna tell Nancy,” Mike adds.

“Yeah, yeah, right, Nancy will know.”

“But no one else,” he finishes. 

Jonathan nods and says, “Good to know.”

“Not even our friends?” El asks. 

Mike looks down at his lap and says, “M–maybe soon. But not yet.”

“Okay. I think they will be happy for you, though.”

Mike nods, “Right, yeah, it’s just…” he trails off. 

“You can’t always be sure how people will react,” Jonathan says. Will nods in agreement. 

“Because…people think it’s…wrong?” El says slowly. 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Will half-shrugs. 

“It’s not,” Jonathan says firmly, “People are just small-minded assholes.”

El nods seriously. 

“Mouth-breathers,” she says.  

That makes them all laugh, and dinner prep continues like usual. Annoyingly, Mike’s mom does call and ask him to come home for dinner. But Mrs. Byers and Hopper still aren’t home when he leaves, so he gets to kiss Will goodbye without fear or anxiety. It’s a great feeling. 

Chapter Text

A few weeks pass and then it’s summer vacation. Will comes over on a Friday: their plan is to go see a movie, maybe walk around a bit, then go to Will’s house to “hang out.” Ostensibly, their plan is to read comics and maybe work on their new D&D campaign, but recently whenever they hang out in private they end up making out instead. Which Mike is totally fine with, obviously. 

He lets Will in and then runs upstairs to grab his wallet. When he comes back down, he sees Will is holding something he wasn't before. It's an envelope that…looks familiar…

"Uh, what's that?" he asks.

Will shows him the envelope and says, "I dunno, you tell me."

Mike pales: it's his "Do Not Send" letters, aka some of the most embarrassing stuff he's ever written. 

"Why do you have that?" 

"Uh, Holly came over and gave it to me."

"She did?" Mike spins around to go find her and tell her not to go through his stuff–now he understands how Nancy feels–but Will grabs his wrist and turns him around again. 

"What's wrong, what are these anyway?"

"They're nothing!"

Will gives him an unimpressed look. Mike says, "They're just, like, some stupid letters I wrote to you."

Will frowns and asks, "When?"

"Uh," he scratches the back of his head, "mostly when you were in California." 

Something like hurt passes across Will's face, and he says, "So you… did write me letters, but you purposely never sent them? Why would you do that?"

Mike covers his face with his hands, "Because they're embarrassing!"

Mike doesn't see it, but he's pretty sure Will rolls his eyes. 

"What could be more embarrassing than what we already know about each other?"

He removes his hands from his face and says, "Uhh…" before he snatches the envelope from Will's hand and adds, "You're never gonna find out!" And he holds the letters out of reach. 

Will gives him an annoyed expression and says, "C'mon, Mike! They're for me, I wanna at least keep them." 

Mike stubbornly keeps his hand up. Will's eyes dart behind Mike before he says in a lower tone, "You're gonna keep things from your boyfriend?"

Mike's heart still kicks inside his chest whenever Will calls him boyfriend. Will has his best pleading expression on and, well…Mike had a hard time saying no to Will even before they were dating. 

Mike sighs and passes the envelope back to Will, who beams at him. 

"Read it later though!"  

Will rolls his eyes and says, "Sure," before putting the envelope in his jacket pocket. 

***

They watch the movie–Robin was totally right when she said it’s a date location–and decide to go straight to Will’s house. (Why walk around Hawkins and be forced to not hold hands, when there’s an empty house to go to?)

Will double-checks that the house really is totally empty before they head to the living room. They debate what movie to put in when Will remembers the envelope from earlier and abandons the debate in favor of reading Mike's letters. As a distraction, Mike fiddles around with the stereo and looks through the record collection for music to play. He finds Parallel Lines by Blondie and puts it on. He watches the record turn for most of the first song, Hanging On The Telephone. The lyrics are surprisingly fitting for him and Will's situation almost two years ago.  

If I don't get your calls, then everything goes wrong / I want to tell you something you've known all along / Don't leave me hanging on the telephone

Will says from the couch, “Are you gonna come over here and sit down or just watch the music play?”

Mike rolls his eyes and says, “This is a nightmare situation for me!”

“That’s a little dramatic.”

Mike shuffles over and plops next to Will.

“It’s definitely not, so can you at least say something before I die of embarrassment?”

“They’re not that embarrassing…” 

Mike looks at him skeptically. 

“Okay, your puppy crush on Eddie is a little embarrassing, but the rest is really sweet! It also explains a lot about why you never wrote. It hurt a lot back then not to hear from you. Like, everyone else wrote at least once or twice, and I really liked getting updates from Hawkins. And then El was getting tons of letters from you, so it's not like you were against writing in general. I couldn't figure out what I did that would make you not wanna talk anymore…”

He trails off and Mike laces their fingers together in a paltry attempt to demonstrate his regret.

Will continues, “I kept going back and forth between being incredibly jealous of El and then feeling guilty, because it’s not like I had any right to your feelings. But then I felt miffed because I thought we were still best friends but you wouldn’t talk to me? It was so inexplicable I thought maybe you had figured out that I liked you. So I waited for you to reach out first so you didn’t think I was…I don’t know, overstepping and making you uncomfortable.”

Mike had been so unaware of Will’s feelings that he has no idea why Will would think that, but then he remembers a certain fight…

“I’m sorry for making you feel like that. And I’m really sorry for what I said in the garage during our fight, if that’s what made you think I had figured out how you felt. I–” his emotions catch up with him and he heaves in a breath. Will shifts in his seat to face Mike more directly. 

“Hey, it’s alright. Like I said, these letters explain a lot. I thought you were distant because of me, but apparently you were realizing the same things I was, and I know how scary that is.”

Mike meets Will’s gaze and matches Will’s vulnerability with his own.

Will says, “And I forgive you, for the ‘you don’t like girls’ thing. I kinda already had, but it’s nice to have a clearer explanation. Like, I told you how I’ve known who I am for a long time, and I think a lot of that is ‘cause I was kinda forced to confront it by, like, my dad and Troy and the other bullies. But it was different for you, so it makes sense that you took longer and reacted differently.”

“That doesn’t excuse what I said though…”

“Yeah, maybe, but none of this is easy. So I understand, in a way. Also, it’s like, way easier to find forgiveness when it turns out you’ve been in love with me this whole time,” he smirks. 

Mike fights a blush and bites his lip to hold back a smile. 

“And another thing…” Will’s expression is half-serious and half-teasing when he says, “I really showed up in one of your sex dreams?"

Mike makes a noise of surprise and feels the need to clarify that, "It wasn't a sex dream, it was just, like, a horny dream…"

"Big difference," Will deadpans. 

"It is!" he protests. 

Will rolls his eyes. 

"I didn't mean to!" Mike adds. 

"Yeah, you said as much," Will says light-heartedly and waves the papers in his hand. 

Will gets quiet and Mike lets him be until he can't stand it any longer and asks, "What are you thinking?"

"I…" he smirks and shakes his head, "Well, first, I can't believe you wrote this down as if you were gonna send it to me. If I had read this back then I think I either would've spontaneously combusted or thought you were playing some ultra-sophisticated prank."

Mike's mouth drops open. 

"Look, I don't remember my exact words, but I don't think it was very prank-like."

"One, that's why I said 'ultra-sophisticated.' Two, I had no reason to believe you were gay! So, like, hypothetically you could have been treating my feelings as some joke." 

"You know I would never do that.”

“Of course I know that.”

“I didn’t even know you had feelings for me! I wrote the letter more for me just to, like, process what happened and not feel like– like a perv, or something.”

Will nods seriously. 

“I get that,” he says, “I struggled a lot…and– and still do, sometimes, with not feeling wrong, you know? Like…the first time I got called a fag I didn’t even know what sex was, but then you learn what it means and it’s that being attracted to other guys is bad. And, you know, Mom and Jonathan and you, you guys all made me feel like I wasn’t wrong for being who I am, and that the names didn’t mean anything. But– but that was before I realized they were all…right about me.”

“They’re not right – ” Mike starts to interject.

“No, listen. I get that there’s nothing inherently bad about being gay. But I– it’s…when I realized that I actually felt same-sex attraction–that thing that people mocked and feared–it was hard to separate my feelings from the feelings of disgust that propelled all those people to call me faggot or queer. So I– I dunno, I guess I've tried to act like those feelings don't exist."

Mike nods thoughtfully and says, "That makes sense. Like, I…it's not been the same for me–" 

"Clearly," Will says jokingly under his breath.

"Shut up," he mumbles and shoves Will's shoulder. Will smirks up at him. 

"As I was saying ," he continues, "I ignored any signs I was gay for a while 'cause I didn't want it to be true. I wanted to be normal. People say such awful things and it sucked walking around school knowing what everyone would assume about me if they knew." 

"Not everyone necessarily…our friends wouldn't." 

Mike shrugs, "Yeah, well, it's hard to remember that sometimes. Given…everything."

Will nods. They sit with their thoughts for a moment until Will reaches over and grabs Mike's hand. He smiles gently and says, "Hey, it's scary, but now we can face it together." 

Mike smiles back gratefully.

"Yeah…together," he says quietly. 

They promise together with their eyes. Then Will smirks teasingly and asks, "So, what was the biggest 'I'm gay' sign you ignored? You went to the pool and thought you were staring at all the hot guys 'cause you wanted to be them?" 

"No!" Mike scowls to cover his embarrassment, "Um…the less embarrassing one is when we were at club fair and I asked Dustin why the wrestling team guys had to be in their uniforms–"

Will snorts and Mike tries to explain, "'Cause, you know, they have really short shorts! It's probably a dress code violation or something! And he looked at me like I was speaking another language."

"And it didn't click for you then?" 

"Well, I definitely thought it was weird…"

"Uh-huh," Will says, clearly amused, "And this is the less embarrassing story?"

Mike nods but stays silent. Will pesters him, “C’mon, c’mon, tell me I wanna know.”

“Ugh, fine!” He covers his face and mumbles into his hands, “The first time I got a boner and told myself it was just hormones and didn’t mean anything…”

“Oh…that’s not that bad…”

Mike looks over at him skeptically. 

Will explains, “Like, when you don’t want something to be true, it’s easy to pretend like these feelings don’t really mean anything.” He swallows and shifts nervously, “Like…I said how I’ve tried to act like any desires I have don’t exist, but…they’ve definitely happened.”

“Oh, yeah?" Will nods. "Who about?"

"Um…not the muscular guys you're into…" 

Mike’s whole face heats up.

"I– I'm not into them!" he protests.

"Really? Do you want me to read your words back to you?" Will lifts the letters and opens his mouth like he's going to read aloud. 

"No!" Mike grabs the papers from Will and throws them behind him. "You don't have to do that. But, like, they're objectively hot, right?" 

"I guess, if you're into that." 

Mike scoffs, "Well, who are you into, then?"

"Um…you know, someone who's sensitive and caring, tall with dark hair…" Mike smirks a little and Will asks, "What?" 

"Nothing! Just…you think I'm hot." 

"N– not just you! I could be describing anybody." 

"Uh-huh."

"You can't laugh at me–" 

"I'm not laughing at you! It's flattering," Mike interrupts.

"--when you've been dying to kiss me for ages!" Will finishes his sentence. 

Mike opens and closes his mouth a couple times before he gets out, "I never said that!" 

"It was implied by all the staring at my face."

"Wha– maybe I just like looking at you!" 

Will rolls his eyes. 

"Because that doesn't mean anything," Will says sarcastically. 

"What, are you, like, upset about it or something?" 

"No! Of course not. It's like you said…flattering."

They study each other a moment before Will tugs Mike's arm and says "C'mere."

They're already sitting close, so Mike swings his legs and sits across Will's lap. 

"Hi," Mike says.

"Hi," Will grins up at him. 

"So…" he drags out the word.

"So…?"

"You like me," Mike teases. 

Will rolls his eyes fondly. 

"Of course I like you. It'd be weird if I didn't."

"True. But you think I'm attractive. "

Will blushes but still manages to snark, "Oh, well if that's what we're talking about, then you–" he pokes Mike in the chest, "like me too." 

Mike quickly looks Will up and down and answers, "I do." 

Will raises one eyebrow. 

"So we both like each other. What are you gonna do about it?" 

"Is that a challenge, Byers?"

Will leans forward into Mike's face and says, "Maybe." 

He braces his arms on either side of Will's head and kisses him firmly, pressing him back against the couch. They kiss a couple more times before Mike remembers where they are. He pulls back slightly and asks, “When is the next person expected home?”

Will cranes his neck to look at the clock. It’s currently around 3:30pm.

“Not until like, five or so.”

"Ok, good." 

They grin at each other and resume kissing. Will's hands travel between Mike's hair and jaw and torso. Mike cups the back of Will's head with one hand and uses the other to balance himself. He does this until he's frustrated that his hands aren't moving more. 

He says, "Hey,"--kiss–"lie down." 

Will's eyes glint with something like desire and he obligingly shifts position. Will's hands hold Mike's waist as Mike stares down at him.

Will asks, "Better?" 

Mike smiles and kisses the corner of Will's mouth.

"Better," he agrees.

From there, they continue the comfortable rhythm of making out. He loves kissing Will: every kiss is a new way they fit together. Their hands roam over each other, but not below the belt–it's one thing to allude to sexual desire, but to actually do something, that's…nerve-racking. Plus, they haven't had a real conversation about what to do. However, the longer they kiss, Mike finds himself wanting more. He wants to be closer. He takes a risk and gently bites Will's lip. It makes Will gasp and the sound sparks something in Mike’s core. Mike starts tugging at Will's shirt to untuck it from his pants. Will bites Mike's lip in retaliation–it stings but the residual tingling sensation is somehow only pleasurable–and Will's hands get grabbier. They venture underneath Mike's shirt and Mike takes that as his OK to do the same. He smiles into the next kiss and Will giggles as Mike's hands ghost over Will's sides. The giggling causes Will to move his kisses along Mike's jaw. Having Will's lips there feels almost more intimate than when they were shoving their tongues down each other's throats. Mike's hands grasp Will instinctually, and his fingertips find an abrasion–a recent scar that Mike's seen but never gotten an explanation on how it happened. He starts to trace around it more intentionally when Will flinches slightly. Mike instantly stops moving his fingers.

"Sorry," he says. 

"N– no, it's fine." 

"No, I won't touch it if it bothers you." 

"It doesn't bother me, I just don't like the reminder it's there." 

Mike pauses, then says, "You never told me how it happened."

Will looks mildly irritated that they're not going right back to kissing. His expression shifts when he realizes that Mike won't continue until he gives an answer.  

Will huffs and says, "Well, I don't actually remember it happening. I remember the pain, but Jonathan's the one who told me the details." 

Mike stays silent as a way to ask for more information. Will's mouth twists and he answers, "They were getting the Mind Flayer out of me and they were maxing out on how much heat they could create, but he still wouldn't leave. Nancy grabbed the fire poker–"

"Wait, Nancy ?!" Mike exclaims. 

"Uh, yeah."

Mike opens his mouth to complain but Will adds, "Don't be mad! She saved my life. Jonathan and Mom were too hesitant; they didn't want to inflict that kind of pain, I guess. But Nancy's decision is what finally worked." 

"Oh."

"Yeah…that's it, that’s the story."

"Can I see it?" Mike asks. 

Will frowns.

"Why? You've seen it before," he says. 

“Not up close. And before I didn’t know the cause of it.”

“What difference does that make?”

“I– I dunno. It makes it more important.” 

When Will still hesitates, Mike says, “It upsets you,” as a statement and not a question. 

Will’s face scrunches in distaste. He says, “I’m not, like, sad about it. I just don’t like what it represents. It’s another reminder of what the Upside Down did to me.”

“It’s a reminder that you survived. And after everything, you’re still you– you never let him break you. That’s what matters most. You’re strong as hell, and this scar is only proof that you won.”

Will inhales shakily and his eyes swim with vulnerability and affection. 

“Scooch,” he says and moves to sit up. Mike moves backward to give Will space as he reaches up and tugs off his shirt–a mental image that will definitely replay in Mike’s mind later. 

Will tosses his shirt to the floor and jokes, “You know, I think there are sexier ways to get my shirt off than discussing past trauma.”

Mike blushes at the reminder of their earlier activities. Still, he focuses his attention on the scar that sits in the curve of Will’s back. It has become faded over time, but there’s still an angry, uneven red patch where the…fire poker, apparently…pressed into his skin. He traces his fingers lightly over it and Will lets him. 

“Does it hurt?” Mike asks.

“Not anymore.”

“That’s good.” 

Will scoffs, “That’s an understatement.”

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not!” 

They smile at each other with silly grins.  

Another moment passes and Mike says softly, “I think this makes you more beautiful, actually.”

Will’s face flushes adorably pink. 

“Don’t be stupid,” he mutters bashfully.

“I’m not being stupid, I’m correct.” He tightens his hold on Will’s waist and moves inches closer. He continues in a low tone, “You won, and you're here, and you have this badass scar, and you're still the kindest, most empathetic, creative person I know. So yeah, beautiful." 

Will stares at Mike with equal parts surprise and awe. His gaze is all affection when he says quietly, “I love you.”

Mike rests their foreheads together and says, “I know.”

They focus on each other and let their feelings crystallize in the space between them. Will breaks the moment when he says, “Kiss me.”

And Mike does. The bare skin beneath his fingers barely registers in his senses as he presses their lips together. It’s soft and sweet, and it reminds him of their first kiss–the way it lights him up on the inside, how it feels so natural to fit together this way. They share one–two–three kisses this way before Will deepens the kiss. He holds the back of Mike’s head and parts his lips, Mike sighs into it and opens his mouth in response. His fingertips suddenly feel aflame at every point of contact with Will’s bare torso. Every so often hands drift to a new spot, and one of them makes meaningful eye contact to make sure it’s okay. It’s never a problem for Mike; in fact, it only fuels the delicate burning sensation slowly building within him, starting with his heart rate and spreading lower. At some point Will grabs Mike's hips and pulls him forward–Mike opens his mouth to gasp but what comes out is a moan. Both of them pause and he claps a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. Will bites his lip and looks like he's trying not to smile.

"Don't laugh at me," Mike warns. 

Will catches his breath and says, "I'm not laughing at you–" 

"Then why are you smiling?"

"I didn't know you could make those noises," he smirks. 

Mike hides his face against Will's shoulder. 

Will brushes some hair behind Mike's ear and says, "Hey, it's not a bad thing." 

"It still feels embarrassing." 

"I don't think it is…I think it means I'm doing something right." 

Mike lifts his head enough to see Will's smug expression. Mike sticks his tongue out and Will moves like he's going to bite it. Mike yelps and pulls away laughing. Will laughs too and goes for another kiss, but Mike wants to get Will back and have him make an embarrassing noise. He dips his head to kiss just below Will’s ear at the end of his jaw. Will gasps and Mike does a tiny bite.

"Ah …Mike!" Will swats at him, "Don't do that! You’ll leave a mark.”

“No I won’t.”

“ Yes, you will, if you bite.”

“It was a tiny bite–”

“‘ Tiny bites’ still leave hickeys, dummy.”

Mike considers his options and decides to be bold. He lowers his voice, “But what if I want you to make that breathy gasp again?"

Will’s eyes widen slightly and his cheeks turn red. 

"Oh." 

When that's all Will says, Mike panics a little. 

"Is that ok? You do like it, right?"

Will nods quickly. 

"Yeah, no, it's fine, just…below the collar, ok?" 

"Sure, ok."

They give each other coy grins, like they just shared an old inside joke. They resume regular making out, though Will's been pretty persistently pulling at the hem of Mike's shirt. He's just thinking he should take it off–to be fair, of course, to Will’s shirtless state–when he hears someone clear their throat behind him.

The voice is too deep to be Jonathan, so the only other person it could be is…

“Hop!” Will says in an octave higher than normal. He coughs and asks, “Wh– what are you doing home so soon?”

“I was in early this morning and since it’s Friday, they let me have an early start to the weekend. I didn’t realize I’d be, er…interrupting .”

Will's face turns even redder and Hopper continues, "I'm gonna change out of this and give you two a few minutes."  

He hears retreating footsteps and Will quickly goes to grab his shirt. The movement forces Mike up and off Will's lap and onto the couch. He feels detached from his body and sits there trying to breathe…why is it so hard? It's as if his lungs got smaller all of a sudden. He’s trying to force air into his lungs when Will pops back up next to him. Will frowns and grabs Mike’s hand.

“Hey, try to take slow, deep breaths, ok? Hopper hasn’t said anything bad to me and I don’t think he’ll start now. It’ll– it’ll be awkward, but we’ll be fine. Can you breathe with me?” 

Will places Mike’s hand on his chest and does slow, exaggerated breaths. Mike’s mind is running through a thousand future scenarios–most of them bad–but he grounds himself with Will’s touch and tries to copy his breathing. Eventually, the fuzzy feeling at his extremities dissipates and his breath comes slower, but every muscle in his body still feels tense. Will nods encouragingly as his breathing evens out, though, and then Hopper is back in the room. Will squeezes the hand he’s been holding the whole time and scoots closer to Mike’s side.  

Hopper raises his hands and says, “I’m not mad. Surprised, maybe, but it’s none of my…uh, it doesn’t bother me, to see you two…” he trails off and waves a hand vaguely between them instead.  

He walks over and sits beside them on the couch only slightly awkwardly. Mike watches Hopper suspiciously–he knows sometimes his calm demeanor is just a facade.

"Seriously, kid," Hopper says as he notices Mike's stare, "I wouldn't be allowed in this house if I wasn't ok with it." 

That sounds accurate enough to Mike given how Will's dad was. Some of the tension leaves his body and he gives a tiny nod.

Hopper says, "So I'm assuming you're together?" 

They both nod their assent.

He squints, "For how long?"

"Like, only a few weeks," Will answers. 

Mike knows the exact number of days, and he's pretty sure Will does too, but Hopper doesn't need to know that.

"Uh-huh," Hopper nods. He looks at Mike and says, "I seem to remember you've been over quite a few times."

Will stiffens and asks defensively, "What, is he not allowed over?" 

"No, it's not that…" 

Mike can tell where this is going. He suddenly feels pale and flushed at the same time. 

"We haven't done anything!" He blurts. Like a liar.

Hopper just smirks and says, "Somehow I don't believe you."

Will seems to catch on because his eyes widen and he turns red. Hopper looks between them, then sighs and rubs a hand down his chin. 

"Look, I don't plan on setting out any strict open door rules, since you're older and it's not El we're talking about. Plus, I get the feeling you wouldn't listen anyway."

Hopper narrows his eyes and Mike looks around the room like he has no idea who Hopper's talking about. When he looks back, Hopper has a distinctly uncomfortable expression on; he seems to be debating whether or not to say something. He sighs deeply.

"Now…if this was anyone else, I'd say I'd let your mom know and leave you alone…"

Will interrupts, "Oh, um, she doesn't know! Er, about us."

Hopper looks at them skeptically. 

"I can assure you she won't have any problems–"

"Yeah, no, we know that! We just, uh, haven't got around to telling her…" Will says awkwardly. 

"Well, whenever you're ready I think you should tell her."

Will looks at Mike, silently asking if that would be ok. Mike nods, since between the two of them, Mike was definitely more scared of telling Hopper. But now that that cat's out of the bag, telling Will's mom should be no problem. Hopper keeps talking.

"But, given that, I suppose I should say something…" he rubs his hands over his thighs with a conflicted expression. "I only ask this because of what I saw, but…” his face turns serious, “do you know what's going on out there? With, er, people like yourselves who…have sex?" 

Mike is momentarily stunned speechless after hearing the word "sex" come out of Hopper's mouth. He thought nothing could be worse than getting locked in Hopper's car and yelled at to stay away from El. Turns out, it's one hundred times worse to be facing a talk after getting caught making out with his boyfriend.

Will manages to blurt, "Yes! We're aware." 

"Good, that's good. Are you– do you know about, er, what to do?"

Mike chokes and Will makes a squeaky "Huh?" sound. Hopper's face also turns red when he realizes how that sounds.

"I mean, about safe practices," he clarifies.

Mike thinks he would rather die than have this conversation.

Will looks mildly terrified and says, "Hop, it's really fine, you don't have to do this. We'll be careful–"

Mike whips his head to stare at Will, shocked that he would imply they're going to do anything. Will realizes his mistake and stutters, "I– I mean, we're not gonna do anything! That’s what I meant.”

Hopper nods, "Uh-huh, that's what all teenagers say."

"Seriously–" Will starts, but he gets cut off by Hopper's stern look. 

"I know this is awkward, but it’s important you learn this. Your school won’t say anything–”

Mike snorts and Will mutters “No shit” under his breath. In their sex ed class, they were told “don’t have sex” and then shown pictures of diseases you could get if you do. And obviously, the assumption was that everyone was heterosexual. It was actually a little bit funny getting told not to have sex so you don't get a girl pregnant, because that's a very easy instruction for Mike to follow. Although, the humor wasn't enough to dull his constant sense of unease throughout the term–what if he's too nonchalant about the "not having sex" thing? What are guys like him supposed to do, anyway? 

“If you’d rather I get your mom involved, I can hint to her that she should start this discussion with you,” Hopper suggests.

“Um…” Will looks at Mike with a panicked stare that begs him to find an answer. Mike has no idea what to do since every option feels equally bad. “I…don’t know…” Will eventually says.

Hopper looks between them with a strained expression. After a moment, he glances upward and lets out a long, slow exhale. 

“Alright, I do this once and once only, and we agree to never speak of it again. Got it?” The two of them nod. “Also, I don't want a repeat of this afternoon, so no more funny business in the living room, ok?" 

What follows is the most excruciatingly embarrassing–but admittedly informative–five minutes of Mike's life. The second it's over, Hopper leaves to have a smoke and Mike and Will escape to Will's bedroom. They both collapse on the bed. Mike brings his knees to his chest and curls into a ball while Will lies flat and covers his face with his hands.

"Oh, my god…" Will mutters into his hands, "Did that really just happen? I can't believe that happened." 

"No kidding. I think I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again."

"You think so? I live with him! We sit at the dinner table together…oh, my god…" Will shakes his head in disbelief. 

Mike picks at the hem of his pants. "And now he knows about us," he says into his knees. 

Will immediately senses Mike's change in tone and sits up.

"He does. But that was maybe the best reaction we could've hoped for. I mean, yeah, it was mortifying, but we weren't yelled at…or worse." 

Mike huffs ironically, "Or worse," he echoes. 

"Hey," Will places a hand on Mike's knee, "I…I'm sorry I wasn’t more aware and it got you outed like that. I should’ve been paying more attention…”

Mike huffs a laugh and says, “What are you talking about? We were both distracted, I think that makes us both at fault.”

“Still…”

“No, no still– we’re both at fault…actually, you know what, I think it’s Hopper’s fault for coming home early. We were supposed to have more time!”

Will laughs. Mike continues, “And yeah, that wasn’t the ideal way or time I wanted to tell him about our relationship, but…it’s like you said. That was probably the best reaction we could’ve gotten.”

Will’s cheeks turn red again.

“I think I’m gonna be embarrassed about this until I’m eighty,” he laments. 

“ Ugh, yes, we’re taking this to the grave.”

“Definitely,” Will agrees. “Wait…what about my mom?”

“What about her?”

“When we tell her about us–which, by the way, you’re ok with?”

Mike nods quickly, “Yeah, for sure–she wasn’t the one I was scared of telling. We can probably tell her whenever is easiest.”

“Right, ok, that works. But, like, when we tell her…do you think she’s gonna, like, ask questions ?” 

“About what?”

“Like…what if she tries to give us the same talk? ” 

Oh… Mike hadn’t considered that, but…

“Shit.”

“Right?” 

“That’d be bad…we can’t let that happen again.”

“So then we’ll have to tell her that we’ve already been told.”

They hold distressed eye contact at the prospect of having to explain how everything happened.

“Let’s just hope she doesn’t ask anything,” Mike says.

“Ugh, let’s. I dunno if I’ll survive a second lecture…” Will snorts then adds jokingly, “Imagine after everything, what kills me is my mom trying to talk to me about sex.”

Mike narrows his eyes, “That’s not funny.”

Will smirks at him, “Admit it, it’s a little funny.”

A smile tugs at the edges of Mike’s lips. 

“Ok, I guess it kinda is,” he admits. 

Will’s expression suddenly drops.

“Oh shit, I forgot your letters are still out there. Lemme go get them real quick.” 

He leaves and comes back with them folded away in the envelope which he drops on his desk before returning to sit on the bed. 

“They weren’t moved, so thankfully Hopper didn’t pick them up and see the one where you admit you’re horny for me.”

Mike’s face heats all the way up again.

“Shut up!” he exclaims, and tries to shove Will’s leg with his foot. “That’s not all I wrote!”

“True…you also called my music taste weird, which it totally isn’t, you just listen to too much ABBA.”  

“What’s wrong with ABBA?” he asks defensively.

"Nothing! Their music just isn’t deep or interesting.”

Mike’s mouth drops open.

“But the songs are good !”

“I guess?” 

“As if you're not gonna play Dancing Queen on your seventeenth birthday."

Will rolls his eyes.

“Sure, but that doesn’t not prove my point that their music isn’t deep.”

Mike huffs, “ Whatever, you’re lucky I love you for reasons that aren’t music taste.”

Will’s expression morphs into one of adoration and he says softly, “You’re right, I am lucky.”

Mike can’t resist the burst of affection that blooms in his chest. He grabs Will’s hands and pulls him closer and kisses him. They gaze lovingly at each other before Will smiles into another kiss, and another, and another. Soon, their kisses become less about affection and more about chasing sensation. They press their lips together more insistently until Mike pulls out of their kissing orbit and hesitantly says, “Wait…should we– should we talk about it?”  

“Hmm? About what?”

“You know… like…how far are we gonna go?”

Will’s cheeks turn red.

“Oh…right, yeah…”

Mike can feel his face heating up the longer Will doesn’t say anything else. 

He rambles nervously, “I just– I mean– I guess we don’t have to talk about it, ‘cause we haven’t up until this point. It’s just that Hopper seemed to think that we would do something and, like, I was really enjoying earlier, but I dunno, it’s kinda scary to think about more, especially ‘cause of, like…yeah…so…” he trails off and tries to finish what he wants to say with the power of his stare. 

Will looks a bit stunned and says, “Y– yeah, ok, I see what you’re saying. We probably should talk, because, I mean…I was enjoying earlier too,” his blush deepens, “but I– like, I know how it works with yourself, but I don’t…with another person…I don’t know…”

“Really? But you lived in California!” 

Will gives him an unimpressed look. 

“I don’t know what you think California is like, but even in San Francisco they don’t just advertise how to have gay sex everywhere.”

“Oh…”

“ ‘Oh,’ he says.”

“Shush! It’s more open-minded there, maybe you could’ve come across something...I dunno!”

Will huffs a laugh.

“Well, believe it or not, you have to actively look for non-depressing information, and it’s not something I was seeking out.”

Mike nods and they shift awkwardly in silence. 

“Um, well, I guess we can just figure things out in the moment. Like, it can’t be that hard to figure out, right?”

Will shrugs casually.

“I guess not. We were doing just fine earlier,” Will smirks.

“We were,” Mike smirks back.

Will drapes his arms around Mike’s neck and kisses him quickly. He traces a finger over Mike’s shirt collar.

“Do you wanna do something, or just keep kissing?” Will asks.

“Kissing is something, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but we used to do other things together.” 

“And we still do! But personally,” he puts his arms around Will's neck, “I really like getting to kiss my boyfriend.” 

Will’s face splits in a grin.

“I like kissing my boyfriend too,” he says softly. 

They kiss quickly.

“Hi boyfriend,” Mike says.

“Hi,” Will giggles.

Will kisses Mike a bit more forcefully and they fall backwards, laughing. They spend the rest of the afternoon tangled up with each other, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Sometimes Mike can't believe he really gets to have this, but every time he gets to casually wrap their legs together or turn and kiss Will's cheek, it makes him indescribably happy–judging by Will's answering touches, they're both completely content with what they finally have together.

Chapter Text

For the next couple months, they do pretty good at keeping their relationship a secret everywhere that isn't Will's house. It's easy not to do anything when they're in public–the threat of ridicule and violence hangs over his head near-constantly. Though, Mike isn't as good at hiding as Will is, so naturally it’s himself who slips up and reveals it to their friends.

They're at his house for a movie night. Mike wasn't sure if it was fair to have a movie night with a blind girl, but Max said she'd feel worse if they excluded her altogether. They pick a movie Max knows and likes– The Wiz, because it's also a musical so they can sing along. Well, Max and Dustin do. El doesn't know the words, but still seems to enjoy herself. Lucas acts like he's too cool to sing along but was definitely mouthing the words. Will gets annoyed by the premise of musicals, and Mike pretends the same but actually finds them a lot of fun. 

Later, Nancy comes downstairs and says Jonathan's there to pick up Will, El, and Max. They groan in protest but start getting ready to leave anyway. And, alright, Mike's a little tired. Will must be tired too because he yawns and Mike finds it very cute how his nose scrunches up. He puts an arm around Will's waist–not completely out of the ordinary for them–and on autopilot kisses his cheek. Will turns and stares at him in surprise–Mike wonders why for a second before he remembers they're not alone. There's a sinking feeling in his chest and he feels blood rush to his cheeks.

"Why are we all silent all of a sudden?" Max asks. 

"Um, Mike just kissed Will on the cheek," Lucas informs her. 

"Oh, for real? I knew something was different with you guys!" 

"What? How!" Mike exclaims.

"Many reasons, but what I wanna know is how Dustin and Lucas didn't clue in when they have the added benefit of sight."

"Wha– How was I supposed to guess that?” Lucas asks, at the same time Mike says, “Well, we were trying to keep it a secret.”

Max responds to Mike with, “Yeah? And who’s fault is it that it’s not a secret anymore?”

Mike scowls since she’s got a point. El whispers in Max's ear, probably telling her about his reaction.

Dustin says, "Ok, to clarify, this is definitely a gay thing, and not a friend thing?"

"Dustin, how many of your male friends are you kissing on the cheek?" Lucas asks rhetorically.

"Wha– none of them! But I saw El do the same to Max, like, a week ago, so I thought…"  

Mike and Will both turn around to stare at the two girls with interest. They're both blushing lightly.  

El asks, "Where did you see us?" 

"When it was raining last week and Jonathan gave me a ride home with you. I saw as you guys were pulling out of the driveway." 

Max sucks her teeth and says, "See, I told her she doesn't need to do that the minute we're with safe people but she doesn't listen." 

"I don't need to, but I want to," El says. 

Max rolls her eyes but blushes harder at El's words. Will's giving El a scrutinizing look. 

He asks, "When did you guys get together?" 

"We've been official for fifteen days!" El says proudly. She puts emphasis on the word "official," so Max probably taught her what it means in a dating context.

“So it wasn’t a friend kiss?” Dustin exclaims. 

Lucas says, "Dustin, again, how many friends do you know who kiss each other!

Dustin shrugs and protests, "I dunno! Girls have different rules for friendship!" 

Lucas rolls his eyes. Max says, "I promise you, Dustin, that girl friendships are not that different from guy friendships." 

"Well I didn't know that! So you guys are dating? Like, how a boyfriend and girlfriend do?" 

"Um…yeah…" Max says awkwardly.

"But we are girlfriend and girlfriend," El corrects. 

Dustin pauses to process her answer. 

"Dude, why do you look so confused?" asks Lucas. 

"Well, excuse me, I wasn't expecting them to be together together when they've both dated guys before! Why are you not more shocked?" 

"Um…well, Max talked to me before they got together, so I kinda already knew." 

"Oh…so she, like, told you she's gay now?"

"Not gay," Max interjects. 

"Um, I'm pretty sure I know what 'gay' means, and I think being in a relationship with another girl qualifies." 

"No I…" she swallows nervously, "I was telling him that I…like both." 

"That's a thing?" 

"Yeah," Will answers, "it's called bisexual."

"Huh…" Dustin nods thoughtfully.

"Will, how did you know about that?" Max asks. 

"Oh…there's, like, a few artists who identify that way. I think maybe Jonathan told me, or I just learned it on my own, I'm not sure." 

"Oh, cool. That's how I found out, too." 

Lucas says, "Yeah, it's cool and everything, but can we back up a minute and talk about Mike and Will?"

Mike's stomach drops reflexively. 

"Oh, yeah, what's up with that? Mike, since when are you gay?" Dustin asks.

“That’s your question?” Lucas says disbelievingly. 

“What? It’s a valid question!”

“Like, two seconds ago we acknowledged that bisexual is a thing.” 

“Well…whatever! He was so obnoxious with El that I never thought he’d like dudes!"

“Hmm, that’s true, I am surprised by it.” 

Max says, “The thing with El was like, two years ago though,” 

“So?” says Dustin. 

“I’m just saying, it’s a long time without another girlfriend.”

“He could’ve been just heartbroken!” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Lucas agrees. 

“So, what’s going on?” Dustin asks Mike again.  

Mike glances at Will–he supposes there's no avoiding coming out now. He screws his eyes shut momentarily and takes a deep breath to steady himself.   

“I– yes, I’m gay. And me and Will…we’re together.”

He holds Will’s hand to prove his point and also to try and prevent his hands from shaking any further. Will squeezes back once–it reassures Mike that if anything irreversible happens as a result of sharing this news, he at least has Will by his side.   

Lucas says, “You two are seriously dating?”

Mike nods. When neither Dustin nor Lucas say anything, he asks, "Does it bother you?"

"What? No! Er…” Lucas looks at Dustin. 

“Yeah, no, it doesn’t bother us, it’s just…” Dustin makes a face like he’s searching for the right words. 

“It’s weird to see,” Lucas finishes. 

Dustin nods, “Yeah, weird.”

Mike stands uncomfortably while Will narrows his eyes. 

“Weird because…we’re both guys?” he asks. 

Lucas quickly shakes his head and says, “No! I mean…I dunno, for me, it’s like…I've known you both forever, so I wasn’t expecting to see you guys kiss.”

“Yeah, exactly, it was unexpected.”

“But you can be a couple!” Lucas reassures. 

"Yeah! Maybe, like, don't make out in front of us, but other than that…” 

"'Don't make out '...because it makes you uncomfortable?" Will asks defensively.

"I mean, yeah, but that's in general! If Lucas had a girlfriend, I don't wanna watch him make out with her either." 

Mike and Will glance at each other. Then Will half-shrugs and says, "That's fair, I guess."

"How long have you been going out?" Lucas asks. 

Mike answers, “Um, a couple months at this point…” 

“Wait, months?!” Lucas exclaims. 

Are we the first people you’ve told?” asks Dustin.

"Er, no…my family knows," Will answers. 

“Nancy also knows,” Mike adds. 

Dustin holds his hands up and says, "Hold on, you told Hopper before us?" 

Both Will and Mike's cheeks turn pink. Mike scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

"That was…an accident, actually," he says.

Dustin narrows his eyes at them. 

"Ok, there's clearly a story there.”

“Yeah, how do you accidentally tell him?” wonders Lucas.

After a moment, Dustin’s mouth drops open and he says, “Did he walk in on you guys?” 

Mike blushes harder and Lucas’s eyes widen. 

"We were just kissing!" Will clarifies quickly. That doesn't help Mike's blush. Lucas and Dustin seem to relax slightly at the clarification. 

Max says, “Alright hold on, so if you hadn’t accidentally told us today, were you ever going to say anything?” 

“Hey! I don’t wanna hear judgment from you, Mayfield." 

"I'm not judging, I'm just curious. Since we are friends and all." 

"Of course! I just…I dunno…" Mike shrugs.

"Do you not trust us?" Lucas asks.

"What? No, it's not that I don't trust you, I just .." he frowns and crosses his arms in front of his chest, "I wasn’t ready for you guys to see me differently…”  

Will's hand comes up and rests against Mike's lower back in a show of comfort. 

"I mean, it's different, but not in a bad way," says Lucas.

"Yeah, like…when Will came out it didn’t change things, and it’s the same with you. We're still your best friends," Dustin agrees. 

Mike glances at them quickly and crosses his arms more tightly around himself. 

"Thanks, guys," he says softly. 

Suddenly, Dustin wraps him in a hug and Lucas quickly follows. After a moment, he feels Max’s arms surround them a bit clumsily. Dustin and Lucas step away and he smiles gratefully at them both. For Max, he pulls her back into a quick side hug. She steps away and Will nudges him with his hip. His smile is faintly relieved and hopeful at the same time, and Mike returns a similar one. It's then that the basement door opens and Nancy appears. 

"What are you guys doing down here that's taking so long?" she asks impatiently.

Mike rolls his eyes.

"Relax, Nancy, we're coming." 

Will says, "Sorry, we'll be right up." He smirks at Mike and adds, "Mike was just being an idiot, that's all." 

"Of course he was," Nancy sighs exasperatedly. 

Mike can't help but snark, "Shouldn't you be glad we're giving you more time to swap spit with your boyfriend?" 

"Ew, Mike! Don't be gross!" Nancy exclaims. She starts to leave and calls behind her, "Five minutes!" 

Will swats Mike's arm. 

"That was gross," he says.

"She was being annoying!" Mike protests.

"We're being slow because somebody forgot where we were." 

“I didn’t mean to!”

Will rolls his eyes fondly. 

“Obviously.” 

Mike grabs Will’s hand and pulls him closer. He says quietly, “You just looked so cute when you yawned, it happened on a reflex.” 

Will’s eyes widen slightly and he looks away shyly.

“Ok, we’re leaving,” El announces.

"Wait! Before you go," Lucas says, "Max, what did you mean you knew something was different between them?"

Max huffs, "Ok, well, obviously I didn't know for sure, but I've gotten really good at telling tone of voice, ‘cause of…” she waves a hand next to her face instead of finishing her sentence. “Anyway, recently Mike's been fawning all over Will way more than he used to."

Will blushes and Mike splutters, ""Wh– what are you talking about? I don't do that!" 

Max pitches her voice and pretends to imitate Mike, "Oh, Will, what do you think? We should do what Will wants to do. Will, let me buy your ice cream for you,--" 

"I do not sound like that!" Mike argues, but he can feel his cheeks heating up anyway. 

"Well…" Dustin says, "that is how you talk a lot…" 

Lucas interjects, "But that's just how they are! I never would have guessed they were gay!" 

"Right?" Dustin agrees emphatically. 

Max says, "Alright, well that's where I inferred from past observations. Like, do you remember that one time at lunch when Mike was asking you how to do a long-distance relationship with El?" 

"No," Lucas says.

"Vaguely…" Dustin answers. 

"So I remember because I thought it was weird that Mike wasn't super invested in getting back together with El, which was totally unfair to her 'cause she's super cool and amazing and deserves someone who enjoys kissing her."

El blushes and holds tighter onto Max's upper arm. 

"Oh, wait, I do remember that actually!" Lucas says. "Yeah, because you were asking how you know if you like a girl, and I was thinking how could you not know?" 

"That’s right!” Dustin agrees, “It was weird that you were asking to get back with El when it seemed like you didn't know how you felt from kissing her, and…" 

Recognition dawns on Dustin's face at the same time it does on Lucas's. Will bites his lips to hold back laughter. 

"See?" Max says, "He was basically asking how to know if you're attracted to a girl. So it was that plus how he talks to Will plus stuff El’s told me that made me wonder if something more was going on.”

“Well, that’s not fair! You have insider information from El!” Lucas complains.

“Yeah? And you can see them staring at each other!” 

“Hey!” Mike and Will say in unison. 

“We don’t do that,” Will insists.

“Yeah,” Mike agrees, “We’re not that obvious!”

“Based on what El tells me, you are obvious for anyone who pays attention.”

“She’s biased! She knew about us from the beginning!” Mike argues. 

“Mike’s right, it was totally not obvious,” Dustin agrees. 

“Although, it explains why Mike always treats Will more favorably…” Lucas muses. 

“I do not!” Mike insists, but he knows it’s a lie.

“Dude…getting you to apologize to me can be like pulling teeth, but one glare from Will and you immediately say sorry every time.” 

Mike splutters incoherently trying to come up with a retort. Will simply grins smugly. Dustin looks like he’s reconsidering every interaction they’ve ever had.

“Dustin, what is it?” Will asks.

“I just…I can’t believe I didn’t see it…”

“To be fair, you also thought Robin and Steve should date,” Lucas points out.

“Lucas, you’re not allowed to talk because you also had no idea!” Dustin retorts.

“Like I said, we were trying to keep it a secret,” Mike insists. 

Will says, “We’d been successful too, until tonight…” he shoots Mike a meaningful look. 

“I was overtired…” Mike admits.

Will frowns, “If you’re tired, then I guess we should get going–”

“No, wait!” Mike cries, and grabs Will's hand so he doesn't leave, "Stay?" 

"I can't, your sister is gonna come yell at us." 

"No, I mean like, tonight." 

Will raises his eyebrows.

"Hello? We're still here!" Dustin says indignantly.

Mike hedges, "Yeah, but you're probably gonna leave soon?"

Dustin and Lucas share a look.

Lucas says, "What did I say? Favorable treatment!" 

"You better not start ditching us all the time like when you were with El," Dustin complains.  

"We won't!" Will assures. 

Mike considers it: when he was with El, he was trying to show his friends that he was capable of having a girlfriend, and at the time, that meant disappearing to go make out. He knows that that was pretty shitty to do. However, he actually really likes making out with Will, and since they can't show affection in public…

"Hmm, no promises," he says. Will whacks his arm and Mike affects like it actually hurts before saying, "I mean, no, we won't." 

"Liar," Max scoffs.

"Nu-uh!"

"Yu-huh!"

"Well, you two can't ditch either!" 

"Who said we would?" El asks rhetorically.

Max adds on, "Yeah, ditching was always your idea, Wheeler. But I'm naturally a better girlfriend so we won't need to ditch."

Mike rolls his eyes and tells Max this so she knows he's not not responding. Will tugs Mike’s arm gently. 

"I dunno if Mom will let me stay, anyway." 

"Why not?” he pouts, “I've stayed over at yours before." 

Will gives a wry grin and says, "Yeah, that was mostly before she knew we were together." 

"Some after!" 

"That's 'cause she's there. "

"As if my parents aren't here," Mike grumbles. 

"Yeah, but they're your parents." 

Mike's mouth drops open ready to be offended when realizes that Will kinda does have a point. 

Max announces loudly, "OK, while you two do whatever weird flirting this is, me and El are finally leaving.” 

“Wait, let me come with you guys,” Dustin says.

“Why?” El asks.

“I have questions.”

“Questions?”

“About your relationship.” 

“No.” 

Dustin gapes at her. 

“It’s not bad!” he insists, “I just want to understand!”

“Don’t ask anything weird, Dustin,” Will warns. 

“Like what?” 

“If you ask us to kiss, you’re dead,” Max states.

“What? No! I already saw that, anyway. No, I wanted to ask, like, who’s the guy?” 

El tugs Max’s arm and they start up the stairs.

“What? That’s a reasonable question!” 

He follows them up the stairs. Will shakes his head. 

“Call your mom and ask,” Mike insists. 

Mike watches Will’s internal debate play across his face. Beside them, Lucas stretches dramatically. 

“I guess I should head out, too, if this is gonna become a MikeandWill thing.”  

They immediately step farther apart and Will says, “We don’t mean to kick you out!”

“Yeah, if you’re good to stay we can still hang,” Mike adds.

Lucas raises his hands in surrender and says, “It’s fine guys, I get it. Besides, I’ve done enough third-wheeling before you were dating–”

“We weren’t that bad!” Mike interrupts. Lucas just gives him a look. They stare back at him. 

Lucas huffs and pitches his voice how Max did to imitate Mike, "We should watch the movie Will wants to watch; No, Lucas, you can't copy off my English homework; I'm only sharing my snacks with Will –"

"Alright, I get it!" Mike interrupts, embarrassed. 

"That's not really that bad…" Will says. 

Lucas rolls his eyes again. 

"Duh, not for you, 'cause you get what you want." 

"Alright, well…whatever! I usually take your side in arguments!"

Lucas smiles slowly and says, "Hmm, that's true…and it is fun to gang up on Mike to tell him he has bad taste." 

Mike gapes. Will laughs behind his hand. 

From the top of the stairs, they hear Nancy yell, "Mike! Five minutes!" 

Mike scowls and yells back, "We're coming!" 

"I should go," Will says. Mike pleads with his eyes. Will answers his unspoken question, "She's gonna say no!" 

"You won't even try?" Mike whines. 

Will rolls his eyes fondly. 

"I'm gonna see you tomorrow, dummy," he says. He puts his palm against Mike's chest and gently shoves to emphasize his point. 

"Promise?" 

He smirks playfully, "Promise." 

Mike hesitates for a second before placing his hand below Will's jaw and kissing him soundly. The kiss ends and they smile at each other with their eyes.

"OK lovebirds, where's the movie?" Lucas asks. 

The moment between him and Will is broken and he looks around. He moves a blanket on the couch and finds the box. He tosses it across to Lucas but still manages to miss. It lands on the floor next to Lucas's feet and Lucas sighs dramatically.

"I swear you do this on purpose sometimes." 

"I'm not!" 

"It's a good thing you've never shown any interest in sports, then." 

Mike scowls but mostly to cover his embarrassment. Lucas slings his backpack over one shoulder.

"Ok, bye guys, see you later!" he says, and disappears upstairs. 

"Bye!" they chorus. 

Alone for the first time since accidentally coming out, Will frowns slightly in concern.

“Are you ok?” he asks.

“Are you?” Mike asks back. 

Will audibly exhales, then nods decisively. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I mean…it was awkward, but it seems like they’ll get used to us eventually.”

“Right. Yeah…they weren’t mad, they were just…confused, I guess.”

“And surprised.”

Mike huffs a laugh, “ Yeah, definitely surprised.” 

Will rubs a hand down Mike’s arm. 

“We’ll be fine,” he reassures, “Just…try to resist kissing me next time, ok?” 

“Sure,” Mike smirks, “I’ll try…but it’s your fault for being so irresistible, you know?” 

He raises his eyebrows playfully and Will shoves him.

“Stop it!” he says shyly. 

“Never,” he says. He puts one arm around Will’s waist and draws him closer to kiss his cheek. It makes Will giggle and squirm away. Mike stops trying to kiss him so he stops moving, and they stand there chest-to-chest. Suddenly, surprise registers on Will’s face.

“Did you know about El and Max?” he asks. 

“What? No, of course not!” 

“That probably made our news a bit easier.”

“Yeah, probably.” 

Will laughs, “Who would’ve thought that two-thirds of us would turn out some version of gay?” 

“Definitely not me.”

“But I’m happy for them.”

“Oh, for sure!” Mike agrees. 

“I…no, I’m not gonna say it,” Will shakes his head. 

Mike gapes at him.

“No, c’mon, you gotta say it now!”

“I mean…well, there’s just something really ironic about your first girlfriend turning out lesbian.”

Mike barks out a laugh. 

“You’re right, who would've thought.”

Will looks at his watch.

“Shit, Jonathan’s probably getting annoyed by now.”

Mike rolls his eyes.

“Shouldn’t he be used to us by now?” 

“Either way, I should go.”

“I’ll walk you out!” 

Will turns and grabs his backpack. He moves towards the stairs, but Mike stops him and steals one last kiss before following him up the stairs. Right as they reach the top, the door swings open. Nancy’s frowning on the other side but comes up short when she sees them. 

“Finally,” she huffs. 

Will drops Mike’s hand as they cross the threshold and they get to the front door where the others–except Lucas–are waiting.

“Y’ready?” Jonathan says.

“Mm-hm.”  

Dustin mutters, “Lucas was right, Will really does get special treatment.”

Jonathan frowns and looks between the three of them. Will whispers, “He knows now,” and Jonathan nods in understanding. 

“Is that what was taking you so long?” Nancy asks. 

“It was Mike’s fault,” Will explains. 

“Of course,” Nancy says. She scans Mike’s face, then glances back and forth between him and the rest of the group. “But everything’s ok?” she asks cautiously. Everyone nods affirmatively and she relaxes slightly.  

“Ok, good,” Jonathan says, “Let’s get going, yeah? Bye, Nancy.”

“Bye,” she says, and gives him a quick goodbye kiss. 

Mike’s heart squeezes just a little at how easy it is for them. In place of a kiss, he holds eye contact with Will and tries to impart the same kind of affection with his stare. As everyone starts filing out, Will hangs back and does a half-wave. 

“See you tomorrow, Mike.” 

“See you.” 

And because he can't help it, he mouths "Love you" as well. Will's face brightens and he mouths "I know." Mike's mouth drops open and Will quietly chuckles and sticks his tongue out playfully. Mike sees him glance to either side before mouthing "Love you too."

Will leaves and Mike closes the door after him. When he turns around, Nancy is barely concealing an amused grin. Mike scowls.

"What?" 

"Nothing!" She says in a tone that clearly means it's not nothing. "I'm just happy to see my little brother so happy!" 

"Shut up," he mumbles and feels his face heat up. He starts to leave but Nancy says, "Wait, Mike!" He turns around and her expression is serious. 

"If your friends say anything, I'm not afraid to confront them about it." 

He huffs a laugh. 

"It's fine, Nancy, they should be fine."

"I'm serious--" 

"I know you are, but…well, it might take a minute, but they're not mean people, so…"

"Ok…that's good, then." 

Mike nods and adds, "But also…thanks." 

He holds eye contact, and hopes she understands all the feelings that are going unsaid–the relief and gratitude that she's still here, that she's kept his secret, that she accepts and loves him enough to come to his defense.  

She smiles softly and says, "Any time." 

She pats his shoulder affectionately as she passes by to go upstairs. Mike returns to the basement and flops on the couch to reflect. 

Overall, it went well–maybe even better than expected, what with the revelation that El and Max are also together. He makes a mental note to check in with them and see how they're doing after unintentionally being forced to come out. They seemed unbothered–and perhaps El's lack of exposure to bigotry means it's not a struggle to admit these truths out loud–but Max…he knows there's vulnerability under her sarcastic exterior. So he'll talk to her…maybe when school starts up again and they're forced to be in the same building for seven hours a day. 

He scrunches his face thinking about school–he'll be a junior, which is probably the most crucial year of all of high school. Yuck, thinking about the future is stressful and stupid. 

At least they'll finally have a year not marred by supernatural events. And Will will be there, which automatically makes everything better. It might be a challenge to keep his hands to himself, but he's been good at that in public! Though, apparently with friends he lets his guard slip, so he’ll need to work on that. Keep their distance strictly platonic–like last year, only worse because now he has permission to touch and kiss and caress, but can’t. 

He thinks about earlier when he was saying bye to Will and they mouthed what they wanted to say to each other...that seems too risky for a school setting, but what if they had some other shorthand to express their feelings. Like…a code word? Or a hand gesture? He’ll bring the idea up to Will tomorrow. And now they won’t have to worry if their friends catch on to what it means, so…net positive for accidentally revealing his relationship status? 

Maybe…it’s an added stressor that he no longer has to worry about. There’s still the final hurdle–telling his parents–plus the general stress of being gay in small-town Indiana. But they’ve survived against alternate-dimension monsters; now all that’s left is to survive the real world, which…sometimes is equally as scary. A lot of days he’d prefer never to think about it, but him and Will are a pair now–official in a way he never could have imagined a couple years ago–and they’ll stay that way for a long time, if Mike has anything to say about it. The future might be unknown and scary, but he has people who love him unconditionally: his sister. His friends. Will’s family. Will. 

For once, he’s able to fall asleep without torturous visions and instead is reminded of something equally powerful: love.