Chapter Text
[Lukita effect]
Description of chat : So, you fell for the Luka Modrić effect
22nd of June 2018
Members:
Sese {Admin} (Ramos)
Raketa (Rakitić)
Marca (Marcelo Vieira)
CR7 (Ronaldo)
Charlie (Ćorluka)
Suba (Subašić)
Golfer (Bale)
God (Ibrahimović)
Casemi (Casemiro)
KB (Karim Benzema)
Hazzz (Eden Hazard)
Waiter (Toni Kroos)
Prince (Griezmann)
Neyney (Neymar)
—
Suba: Ramos, I've been informed we have to add Lionel Messi @Sese
KB: What
Cris: You're kidding
Raketa: I informed him
Raketa: Messi has a thing for our captain
Waiter: How can you be so sure? What happened?
Raketa: well after we beat Argentina we went to our dressing rooms Luka had to stop and talked to Messi for like 15 minutes
KB: Okay but that doesn't have to MEAN anything, they could've just been talking
Raketa: That's what I thought as well
Raketa: BUT then today happened
KB: And what happened today?
Raketa: So because of a fuck up from Fifa (who are just dicks and didn't want to apologize) we are sharing the hotel with Argentina's nt. We're on the 5th floor, they're on the 3rd.
Raketa: We also eat separately, like imagine two huge tables VERY apart from one another
Raketa: And Messi, even though he is from Argentina and literally lost to us yesterday, was sitting next to Luka at the Croatian table and TALKING to him, smiling and all
KB: Oh
Waiter: Yes now it sounds like a bigger deal
CR7: Eh, I'm not buying it
CR7: They could just be friends
Raketa: Oh I'm not done
Raketa: The WHOLE time, and I mean whole time, this is how Messi was looking at him
Raketa: [hearteyedMessi.jpg]
Hazzz: Ooo.. this is serious
CR7: Fine whatever
Suba: Why are you salty about it?
Marca: Cause it's Lionel Messi and he's jellyyyyy
CR7: I'm not jealous
Marca: Of course you're not 🙂
CR7: Stop
God : What's going on?
Hazzz: Check the messages above
God : Interesting, so Lionel had the effect work on him as well
God : Let's add him
CR7: thank you oh wise one
God : You're welcome, peasant
Marca: HA
CR7: Aren't you meant to be on my side?
Marca: I am but this is fun
Waiter @Sese come here
Sese: I'm here I'm here where's the fire??
Hazzz: At the top of the chat
Sese: Okay, just a second
Sese: Oh ho ho, new man
CR7: Do we have to add him?
Waiter: Cris, this is literally what the chat is for.
Prince: I'm back to grace you with my presence
Price: What's going on
Hazzz: Messi has a thing for Luka
Prince: Oh! A new friend!
Suba: Don't you literally play with him?
Prince: Oh true!
Prince: I can add him, I have his number!
Sese: Good cause I don't
Marca: Bro fr forgot he's friends with Messi
Neyney: they're not 😌
Prince: bruh
Sese: Just add him, stop being dumb
Prince: I came here for a good time and I feel so attacked right now
God: No you came here because you're a simp
Prince: That too
Golfer: I'm still wondering how you of all people started to simp
Prince: He's literally so pretty tf you mean
CR7: He just has taste
Raketa: Look at his hair and say that again
Prince: I hate you
Raketa: I'll get over it
Neyney: How about I add Leo?
Neyney: He's too useless
Prince: Wtf
Golfer: You're just mad you ain't playing for Barca anymore and you can't see Messi
Neyney: ain't true can't hear you
Neyney added Leo
Neyney: Ey Leo what's good my man
Neyney: Give him like 12 years he's bad at answering messages
Sese: How bad?
Neyney: Took him a week to answer if he wanted to go out to a club
Neyney: He only said 'No'
Marca: Mood
Prince: Fr
Suba: Wait why couldn't Ivan just put him in here
Raketa: I ain't got his number
Suba: why?
Raketa: I only text him on discord
Suba: …. Ight
God: Fantastic conversation, but how about we tell Leo why he's here before he gets a heart attack and just leaves
Casemi: Good idea @Sese
Sese: Yeah yeah I got it
Sese: Sorry I was talking to Luka
Marca: without us? How dare you
Sese: He called me
Sese: also :)
Sese: anyways hey Leo I hate you but you're here because you're officially a Luka Modrić simp
Sese: Congrats on simping
KB: 🎉
Suba: And don't try to deny it we saw everything
Neyney: There, now give him four years
CR7: Gladly
Marca: stop being jealous, it ain't a good look on you
CR7: I hate you
Marca: Nah you don't 😘
Casemi: Stop
Waiter: Agreed
Charlie: My phones blowing up and I'm trying to sleep what's going on
Charlie: Oh
Charlie: I didn't think you'd actually add him
Sese: I know I know, I'm such a good person
Neyney: Literally it was me that did it
Raketa: And me and Suba told you
Sese: shhhh
Raketa: Also look
Raketa: [Lukainahoodie.jpg]
Marca: Holy molly
Ćorluka: Oh to room with Luka again 😔
Hazzz: Sucks to suck I guess
Raketa: You've.. never roomed with him..
Hazzz: So?
CR7: That's nothing, I present to you
CR7: [Lukainacr7jersey.jpg]
Raketa: Just had to one up me
Raketa: Not that I'm complaining LOOK AT HIM
Suba: Wait is that YOURS yours
CR7: Yup
CR7: Wanted to see how small it would be on him and he agreed
KB: He's so tiny…
Neyney: My heart just skipped a beat
Neyney: But also ew why would he wear that
Marca: Remember when Lukita put on Courtois' jersey?
Waiter: Yes, it was HANGING OFF of him
Hazzz: He's so small, tiny
Hazzz: It's illegal to be as cute as him
Suba: Well actually it isn't cause her be in jail otherwise and none of us want that
Marca: He's too cute to be in jail
Marca: They'd just let him go
Raketa: Luka says he loves you all, he just left to go talk to Dalić
Marca: awwww ❤️
Neyney: 😭❤️
Casemi: ♥️
Hazzz: Now I'm curious if more Brazilians were in here if they would react like that too
Neyney: Well Ali kinda simps but he's like.. too shy so Idk
Marca: wait Alisson simps???
Neyney: Kinda???? It's more like.. a puppy crush I guess??
Waiter: Does that count?
Sese: Nope
Neyney: Damn it and here I thought Brazil would be the dominating nationality
Raketa: Suffer
Neyney: Thought we were friends
Raketa: Where'd you get that idea??
Neyney: >:0
Charlie: lol
Leo is online
Neyney: eyyyy he's here
Prince: Hi Leo!
Sese: Sup
CR7: Hi
God: Welcome to hell
Leo: Good evening
Leo: Why am I here?
Marca: He's a vampire
Neyney: Oh shit two sentences AND he answered quick? We've got him invested
Raketa: You'll scare him off stfu
Neyney: :(
Sese: Welcome to, as Zlatan said, hell
Sese: But enough about this combination of people
Sese: This is a group chat we use to simp for Luka Modrić
Leo: Oh
Leo: What is simping?
Hazzz: Oh boy
Marca: Please can I be the one to tell him?
Sese: Go for it
Marca: Ahem
Marca: 'Simp' is slang for a person who is desperate for the attention and affection of someone else
Marca: We are the simps and we are desperate for Luka
Marca: Because he's him and he's perfect
Marca: understood?
Leo: yes
Leo: Why am I here then?
Raketa: Why??? You're a simp, Leo
Leo: I'm not
Raketa: so you didn't eat today with us and you didn't hug Luka and you didn't talk to him after the match that you lost?
Leo: I did do that, but I'm not simping
Waiter: I got this
Waiter: [LukainCourtois'jersey]
Marca: YOU DO HAVE THE PICTURE YOU LYING BASTARD
Waiter: I do yes
Leo: Oh
Neyney: See Lio??? Simp
Leo: I am not simping
Prince: Guarantee you he's blushing right now
Leo: Why is Antoine here?
Prince: Unlike you I accept my destiny
Prince: Now accept it too
Leo: There's nothing to accept
Marca: Oh come on stop being defensive
KB: We all get it, just admit it, you won't be judged by it here
Waiter: Yes, if we didn't judge Griezmann why would we judge you?
Prince: All of you hate me
Raketa: What gave you that idea?
Marca: We don’t hate you
Marca: We hate your country
Prince: Fair enough
Charlie: Anyways, admit it Leo
Leo: I have nothing to admit
Charlie: Fine you ask for it
Charlie: inhale
Waiter: Did he just spell inhale?
Hazzz: Shh
Charlie: [Lukitawearingargentinashirt]
Charlie: Di Maria gave it to him
Leo: …
Neyney: Leo?
Waiter: Perhaps that was too much
CR7: I’m stealing his ballon d’ors if he doesn’t wake up
Leo: No
Leo: … fine
Leo: I guess I’m a ‘simp’
Hazzz: Eyyyy
Charlie: All in a day’s work