Chapter Text
Lucius swears not he’s sick. Not really. Not icky enough to take a sickie, anyway. It’s just a sniffle. A constant, irritating, ticklish sniffle that definitely did not keep him up all night.
He sniffs as quietly as possible and keeps his hand from rubbing at his nose. Stede is animatedly reenacting their latest raid, which requires Lucius to pay attention and capture every detail.
And Lucius is trying, he really is. There's a bit more swordplay being recounted than he remembers so he can't even hope to fill in the gaps if he misses something. He sniffs again, nose scrunching against a sudden itch.
“Hehh-rhh’shoo!” The sneeze shakes his entire body and the quill skitters across the page, leaving a jagged mark.
Stede startles. “A little warning next time, Lucius!” He smooths his hand down his front to settle himself.
Lucius scrubs under his nose. “You'll be the first to know,” he mutters as he frowns down at the ruined page. It'll have to be rewritten.
“Oh, look at that,” Stede tuts, leaning over the back of the sofa so he can peer over Lucius’s shoulder. “You'll have to rewrite it.” He claps Lucius on the back and then strides around the room, mumbling his way back to where he left off in his thrilling adventure.
Lucius rolls his eyes and turns to a new page. He’s just getting settled and ready to continue when a new sharp prickle hits high in his nose. “Fuck… ehh’ktshh! hehh-ehh’shh! heh’etshew!”
The flurry of sneezes nearly has him doubled over and when he opens his tearing eyes he groans. Not only is the fresh page covered in scattered ink marks, it's sprayed with wetness as well. “Oh God. I’mb so sorry.”
Stede’s nose wrinkles. “What’s gotten into you? You know we have a policy on this ship.”
Lucis nods. “Icky sickie, yeah yeah, we all know the rhyme. I’m not really…” He stops to sniffle wetly. “It’s probably noth… nothin… hehh’etchh, ehh’shh-ngx!”
“Well that certainly doesn’t sound like nothing.” Stede frowns at him and steps closer to get a better look. He makes a noise against the back of his throat. “You’re a bit sweaty,” he says, laying his hand against Lucius’s forehead. “And warm.”
Stede takes a moment, working something out in his mind. The gears are clearly grinding against each other. Lucius stares at him, waiting, face curling into concerned confusion. Stede seems to suddenly come to a decision and snatches the book and quill away from Lucius.
“You can have this back when you're feeling well again. Hopefully we won't have any adventures in the meantime. You know no one on this ship can record keep.”
Lucius resists the urge to roll his eyes. Technically Stede could do his own record keeping, he just didn't want to. Lucius supposes that that's a good thing in terms of job security. What would he do if Stede suddenly realized he could do all his scribe-y bits himself? Clean? God no.
He reaches for the book. “I can keep going, it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine at all,” Stede pips. “What kind of captain would I be if I allowed my scribe to go about his business all sniffly and unwell?”
Lucius blinks at him.
“Not a very good one,” Stede answers for him. He strides across the room to rifle through a chest of drawers.
Lucius snuffles, scrubbing at his nose with the back of his hand. “Ugh,” he says when he pulls his hand away and it’s smeared with wetness. So not cute. He glances at Stede’s back.
“So, I should just… go?” He asks, gesturing towards the door and dragging himself up off the sofa.
“Go?” Stede whirls around, a blanket draped over his arm and a stack of handkerchiefs in hand. “You’re not going anywhere. You’ll be staying right here. Come on, Lucius, keep up.”
He practically marches back over and all but shoves Lucius back onto the sofa. “You’re having privileges,” he announces, like that is a) a thing and b) the end of discussion.
Lucius is lost.
He could deal with having to sit and take notes. He could even deal with Stede making up nearly three quarters of the latest adventure. But he can not deal with trying to follow Stede’s new and bizarre line of thought. His head can’t take it. What he thought was simple sinus pressure is quickly blooming into a rather vicious headache and his nose is all but streaming. “Wha… hehh’ehhtngx.”
Stede sets down the blanket and handkerchiefs (without giving Lucius even one) so he can kneel and pull off Lucius’s shoes. “Now, lie down,” Stede instructs and tips Lucius sideways onto the sofa.
It makes Lucius’s head reel and he has to shut his eyes. None of this is making any sense to him. He sneezes wetly again and has to keep his hand over his nose, catching the mess.
Stede throws the blanket over him and still doesn’t hand him a handkerchief.
“You just stay here while I get tea from Roach. And maybe a snack, wouldn’t that be nice, Lucius?” Stede pats his shoulder and leaves, not waiting for an answer.
When he’s gone Lucius fumbles around for the stack of handkerchiefs and finally manages to grab one. He groans in relief as he wipes up the mess and then blows.
He’s filling his second handkerchief when he hears the door to the cabin open. “Stede, this is nice, I guess, but I really do not understand what’s going on so…”
Lucius trails off when he hears a distinctly not Stede-y chuckle. He fights the urge to cringe away from Ed as he swaggers through the cabin towards him.
They ended on basic civility towards each other and while Lucius doesn’t think Ed would try anything again he’s perfectly happy to keep things less than friendly.
Ed’s eyes sweep over him and Lucius huffs. “I don’t suppose you have any idea what he’s up to with this?” he asks, gesturing at the blanket. “I ruined two pages in his book and he just snaps! He’s forcing me to stay here and have ‘privileges’? I really can't deal with mental breakdowns from both of my captains.”
Something lights up in Ed’s eyes, the edges crinkling. He ends up next to the sofa and brushes his hand over Lucius’s forehead, like he’s confirming something. “You’re sick, boy.”
“Yes, thank you, I’m aware,” Lucius bites out, pulling himself deeper into the blanket and away from Ed’s hand. His nose twitches and Lucius sniffs hard to keep the sneeze at bay.
“You’ll be alright,” Ed grins and tosses a handkerchief at him before draping himself across a chair. “You know how Stede is, once he’s got an idea in his head.”
Lucius blinks at Ed, nose buried in the handkerchief. “What idea?” he asks, before desperately sneezing again.
Stede sweeps in just as Lucius is cleaning himself up. “Oh Ed, you're here. Wonderful! Lucius is having privileges. Perhaps you have some suggestions?” He sets the tray of tea and snacks down. “I’ve got the tea and I think cuddling is next? Or is it first?”
Ed laughs and shakes his head fondly, pulling himself out of the chair. “I think you’ve got it under control, just do what feels right,” he pulls Stede in for a kiss and then snags a sandwich and a cookie from the tray. “Since you’re gonna be busy I’ll stay up on deck for a while, yeah?”
Stede gazes at him and brushes a stray crumb from his short beard. “Oh, thank you, love. That will give Lucius and I some alone time.”
Lucius struggles with the blanket as Ed leaves. “Wait… why do we need alone time?” The change in pressure as he suddenly sits up makes his breath catch and leaves him coughing.
Stede pats his back briskly. “Calm down, Lucius! It’s like you’re being tortured rather than having privileges with your captain,” he huffs and turns away to pour tea while Lucius gets himself under control.
“Captain, Stede,” Lucius wheezes. “You know I… do willingly spend time with you, don’t get me wrong, but I do not know what you’re talking about.” He carefully takes the offered cup of tea.
Stede scoffs at him. "It's like what Ed and Izzy do together,” he explains with a smile.
Lucius sets the tea down. “Nope. No. We are not recreating whatever bizarre and frankly unhinged type of relationship those two have going on.”
"It's not exactly like their... particular arrangement,” Stede quickly assures him, hands fluttering to get Lucius lying down again. He smooths out the blanket and then sits on the edge of the couch. It’s a tight fit and Lucius scoots over as much as he can so Stede doesn’t end up on the floor.
“I simply thought it was a lovely idea, Ed showing Izzy that he’s important… important to Ed,” he clarifies, looking away. He steels himself and turns his attention back to Lucius. “You’re very important to me.” He pushes a lock of hair away from Lucius’s face.
“Without you I would have to write down all my own adventures,” he continues lightly. “And, of course, I care about all of the crew, but…” he fusses with the blanket again and holds out the abandoned tea for Lucius to take again. “But. You’re going to stay here until you’re well again. It's quite a bit warmer and dryer here than up on deck and this way I can keep an eye on my scribe." He pats Lucious’s chest and blinks a few times.
Lucius softens. It’s easy to forget that Stede never had friends before. And now that he thinks about it, the man’s been a bit overprotective of him ever since the incident.
He reaches out to grab hold of Stede’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “That sounds nice, captain.”
Stede gives him a relieved, watery smile. “Really? Oh, good, I was worried for a moment there.”
“Yeah, touch and go for a bit,” Lucius nods and sips at his tea. “We probably don’t need to cuddle tho, I’m good with the tea. And the snacks.” He sniffles and then turns away to sneeze wetly. “Ugh, and the handkerchiefs.”