Chapter Text
“He’s not going to wake up anytime soon, is he?”
Nina stood with her hip pressed against one of the enormous bookshelves - arms crossed over her chest. She yawned and then pulled out her phone to check the time. It was nearing midnight, and the library was about to close - yet Kaz was still fast asleep. His head rested on his folded arms, and Inej had thrown a jacket over his shoulders.
“We could throw something at him?” Jesper suggested. He was perched on the edge of the table, legs swinging back and forth restlessly. Inej gave him a shove from her seat.
“I don’t think Brekker would appreciate that.” Matthias shot Jesper a critical look from his spot beside Nina. She just shook her head and rested it on his shoulder. Immediately, his scowl melted away into contentment. Inej watched as Jesper stifled a laugh.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sleep,” Wylan mused. “Not like this. And I’m his roommate.”
He was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, doodling a picture of Kaz’s sleeping form. He paused for a moment, biting on the end of his pen while studying his subject before his focus returned, and he was drawing again.
Inej had to admit she had never seen Kaz so at peace in the years she’s known him. His familiar furrowed brows and downturned lips were gone, replaced by soft breathing and relaxed muscles. A strand of hair had fallen across his forehead, and Inej wanted to reach across the table and brush it away. But she couldn’t just touch Kaz, not like that.
This left them with their current dilemma: figuring out how to wake up Kaz Brekker before they were kicked out of the Ketterdam University library.
“Wylan, you could play your flute?” Jesper offered. This time Wylan gave him a scathing look.
“Does it look like I have my flute?”
Jesper’s eyes narrowed just slightly before he shrugged. “Fair.”
“Hit his shins with his cane,” Matthias nodded. “He always does that to me.”
“What?” Nina exclaimed.
“Does he not hit you all with his cane?”
Jesper burst out into laughter, then quickly caught himself with a hand over his mouth before catching the attention of the librarian.
“Just you, dear,” Nina smirked before settling her head back on him. With a sigh, Matthias wrapped his arm around Nina and pulled her close.
“I still think we should throw something at him,” Jesper shrugged.
“Like what?” Nina rolled her eyes.
“I don’t know, something soft.”
Wylan shook his head. “Well, we’re certainly not throwing a book at him.”
Inej looked at Kaz, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. He looked young, younger than usual. Almost innocent, which was quite the thing to say about Kaz Brekker. Inej sighed to herself, then turned to the other.
“You all head back,” she said. “I’ll get him awake eventually.”
“Are you sure ‘nej?” Nina asked. Inej smiled at her and nodded.
The others started to gather their things; books in bags, jackets pulled on. They cleared the area quickly, leaving only Kaz’s mess of papers and pens on the table. He hadn’t even moved an inch, despite all the shuffling around.
“Who wants to bet that Inej manages to chase off the librarian all night?” Jesper smiled. The others groaned in unison. Wylan tugged on his arm in disapproval.
“Goodnight, Jes,” Inej groaned.
“Goodnight, Inej,” he replied, blowing her a kiss.
“Don’t wait up for me,” Inej smiled at Nina.
Nina winked. “Wasn’t planning on it.”
Inej watched as all four of them disappeared into the stacks, leaving her alone with Kaz. The library became silent in their absence, the only sound coming from Kaz’s steady breath. Overhead, the lights flickered, and the moon shone in through a nearby window. Inej looked out, watching her friends cross the street toward their dorms.
“Kaz,” Inej whispered. She lowered her chin to her hands so she was level with his face. They were close enough that Inej could feel the heat of his breath against her cheeks, and she realized that this was probably as close as they had ever been.
Inej knew she wouldn’t have to do anything to wake Kaz up. She knew that his mind wouldn’t let him sleep peacefully for long. Eventually, he would wake from a nightmare, eyes shooting open and breath uneven. He would be at his most vulnerable, and she knew he would never want the others to see him like that.
So Inej waited, flipping through her book and watching as the time crept closer to midnight. Not once did she worry Kaz wouldn’t wake in time. Not one did she contemplate shaking his shoulders or shouting in his ear.
No more than five minutes passed before Kaz’s breathing started to pick up. Inej straightened, watching it pass with a clenched heart. Gone was the peace in his face - the tension had returned, and it wasn’t long before Kaz woke, pushing himself away from the table.
Inej waited for him to get oriented, his eyes flicking around the dim room. His gloved hands were balled into fists on the table, his mouth drawn into a thin line.
“You’re in the library, Kaz.”
Eventually, he settled, his coal-grey eyes landing on Inej. If she didn’t know where to look, she would have missed the slight drop in his shoulders or the softening of his face. She smiled at him, then stood to gather her things.
“We should get going. The library closes in a few.”
Kaz nodded, then reached for his cane. It took him a few minutes to clean up his mess, but he got it all stowed away into his bag and swung it over his shoulders.
The two of them made their way out of the library, side by side. Shrouded in silence, they snuck out of the library unnoticed just as the librarian close the front gate.
“You waited for me,” Kaz said. His voice was rough, the crunch of gravel under the shoes.
“Of course I did.”
His limp was pronounced as they made their way back to the dorms, and Inej was forced to slow her pace to stay with him. She didn’t mind, though. She enjoyed their silent walks, especially in the dark of the night.
“Jes wanted to throw something at you,” Inej said. There was a slight quirk at the corner of his lips.
“Of course he did.”
A pause, then;
“What would you have done if I hadn’t woken up when I did?”
“Well, certainly not throw something at you.” Inej smiled, then continued, “But it didn’t matter. I knew you were going to wake up eventually.”
Kaz stopped, his eyes locked onto Inej’s face. “How?”
“Intuition,” Inej shrugged. “You mentioned once that you don’t like what you see when you close your eyes. I figured you’d have a nightmare eventually and you probably wouldn’t want the others to see.”
Kaz dropped his gaze to the ground between their feet. Inej stepped closer.
“I don’t think I’m ready to tell you what I see at night. Not yet.”
“I didn’t say you had to.”
Neither said a word. Instead, they stood in the stillness of the deep evening. Overhead, the moon shone through milky clouds, the stars just pinpoints in the vast darkness. The air around them was chill, but there was an intense warmth between their bodies even though they weren’t touching.
“Thank you,” Kaz whispered.
Inej smiled, “Anytime.”