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“Whaddya mean I can’t kiss him?!” Mika’s stomach drops at the thought. He couldn’t kiss Shu Itsuki? But wasn’t Rinne supposed to be giving him relationship advice? The couples on the scratchy old box television Shu has in the living room always kissed in the end… Right? Mika could hardly imagine a version of his relationship with Shu that didn’t involve kissing. In fact, Mika would rather die than spend the rest of his life kiss-free from his oshi-san. Mika could, though, die happy when that time came though-- the first time Shu’s lips pressed against his own. Which was why he was here, sitting with Rinne slouched in front of him, picking his teeth with the ballpoint of a pen.
Rinne simply folds his hands together over the desk between them, spitting out the tip of the pen. He props his feet on the lip of desk, Ibara’s desk, his name tag crooked from where Rinne had shoved it and everytime he shifted the spinny chair groaned beneath his weight. Mika was a bit worried it would break.
“Ya heard me right, Kagehira. No kissin’ Itsuki-chan.”
Mika chews his lip. It was a nervous habit of his and a thin film of translucent skin was beginning to peel away from the constant picking, “But… Doesn’t a relationship mean kissin’?”
Rinne slams his hands down suddenly and Mika yelps in surprise, almost toppling out of the chair. The movement sends pens rolling off the edge of the table and the papers the COSPRO producer meticulously stacked fluttered down to the floor.
“Nghh…” Mika hurriedly moves to clean it up. He was nervous enough being in Ibara’s office to start with, even if Rinne said they had permission to use it. Ibara had sharp eyes like a “damn viper” (Rinne’s words not his) and Mika couldn’t help but shudder in fear of the vice president. It was as if Ibara’s extra one and a half inches of height made Mika too small to be in his presence. And the hand gestures-- All the saluting made Mika flinchy. Nghh, Ibara was just scary overall no matter how Mika thought about it. He was sure glad that Rinne undoubtedly had permission to use his office.
Rinne continues, snapping his fingers in Mika’s face suddenly, as if the banging of his fists on the desk wasn’t enough to get his attention, which wasn’t so Mika is glad he caught it again, “I want ya to throw away all yer knowledge of romance!” Rinne adds with a scowl at Mika’s look of horror. “I don’t want ya thinkin’ of kissin’ or any of that stuff.”
Mika sighs dejectedly. Was Rinne a mind reader? Does he know how often Mika thinks of kissing his oshi-san? It wasn’t Mika’s fault that his lips just looked that kissable, a pink the same shade of his hair, or a piece of sugary candy he just wanted to sink his teeth into. And they looked so soft… Mika had to resist the urge to thumb at them idly, even when Shu was scolding him for spacing off, or for misstepping in the choreography, or for nghh -ing when it was his turn to order at the lunch counter. Mika laid at night too often, scrunched up in his pile of plushies and blankets, imagining what it would be like to kiss Shu Itsuki. Hell, he even thought about it when Shu was standing there reprimanding him. And between Lives. And during the Live itself. Would he be still, letting Mika take the lead, pliant like a doll to Mika’s whims? Or would he want to be the puppeteer, stringing Mika along with teasing, fleeting little touches like he was promising an extra special surprise for Mika later, after he finally got his lunch order out through the various nghh -ings?
Or maybe, just maybe, he was just as pent up as Mika and he wanted nothing more than to devour him. Mika couldn’t decide what would be better to be honest.
But that’s again why Mika was here, in Ibara’s office instead of practicing their newest song like Shu had told him. He needed relationship advice because if Mika had to spend one more night fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss him, Mika might just actually kiss him and well, he didn’t think Shu would appreciate that without any initial advances. Mika worried too-bold of an advance would send his oshi-san right back to France, much too far away for Mika to kiss him.
So here he was. With Rinne Amagi, who honestly scared him almost as much as Ibara did.
Rinne kicked his feet up on Ibara’s desk full this time, further messing up the neat piles of stuff the producer left there, “Romance, the romance yer thinkin’ of, with the kissin’ and the hand holdin’, that’s only when ya marry somebody. Don’t forget that, Kagehira.”
Mika sighs, “Ah well, I certainly wouldn’t mind marryin’ Oshi-san but… I don’t even know where to start!” Mika throws up his hands in desperation and gives a sad nghhh . He’s tried telling Shu that he loved him, he tried getting him an extra croissant, he’s even tried to propose once or twice but Shu never took him seriously! He just said “Non!” and went back to his sewing, or his cooking, or whatever else he had been doing when Mika got down on one knee. Mika seriously didn’t know how to get his oshi-san to take him seriously. He had been so confident that a ring baked into a croissant would win him over too… Though when Shu almost broke his tooth, Mika’s confidence waned just a bit, before completely shattering when he realized the inside of the bread was completely raw.
Mika doesn’t realize he’s gripping his knees in frustration until he notices the wrinkles he’s creating in the fabric. Instantly his Oshi-san’s disappointed, chiding voice floods his mind,
“Now I have to re-iron your uniform, Kagehira! Go on, go change and be quick about it, I have far more important things to be doing right now!”
Oh yeah. They weren’t even on a first name basis yet either.
“Never fear, Kagehira.” Rinne says with a grin and a kyahaha as if he was reading Mika’s mind again , “Because I am here to teach ya all ya need to know about seducin’ men! From a fellow homie-sexual to another, of course!”
“Nghhh but Rinne-senpai… Didn’t Nikki-senpai reject yer marriage proposal last week…?”
Rinne’s expression instantly sours, “Yeah but that’s not the point! The point is–”
“Amagi?”
Both idols whip around and Rinne cuts himself off with one finger still mid-raised in conversation. Ibara stood in the doorway with his eyebrows raised in his hairline, almost comically high. His lips were pulled together so tight that Mika suddenly saw the snake-resemblance Rinne was talking about. Under one arm he held a lunch box and in his free hand there was a jiggling set of keys.
“Ah, Kagehira! This is yer first lesson, kyahaha!” Rinne bolts out of his seat, sending pens, pencils, paperclips and sticky notes alike scattering in his wake. The table screams against the floor and the metal feet score pale scratches into the dark hardwood. Mika scrambles after him with a panicked nghhh! “Never reveal yer secrets to snakes, Kagehira, that’s lesson one!”
“And lesson two?!” Mika shouts as Rinne rushes at the COSPRO producer like a bull to a red cape.
“ Kyahaha, never get caught by one either!”
The sound of his kyahaha -ing fades off into the hallway as the leader Bee tumbles away in a tornado of movement. Ibara watches him disappear around a corner before he slowly turns back to Mika, who cowered in his chair. The vice president shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose so violently that it left a red mark where it hit between his eyebrows.
“Care to explain what that was all about, Kagehira?!”
Mika gives a sad nghh and ducks his head. He didn’t think Shu would feel very seduced when he heard about this.
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Mika’s road to seducing Shu Itsuki was quickly filling with more potholes. It turns out that Rinne never had permission to use Ibara’s office, he just “happened to know '' that Ibara was going out to lunch with the rest of Eden, but hadn’t accounted for the fact that it was a take-out lunch. But after recently watching an American action movie with Nikki, he figured it would be easy enough to pick an office lock. And because Rinne was a surprisingly difficult man to get a hold up, with all his bar-hopping and late night pachinko parlor outings, the brunt of the punishment fell upon Mika. Being banned from the COSPRO practice rooms did not seduce Shu in the slightest, Mika concluded as the older Valkyrie member yelled at him over the phone. Most of it was in slurred, angry sounding French, but Mika got the gist of it. Ibara had been watching over Mika’s shoulder to ensure he actually called but when Mika hung up, the COSPRO producer gave him a pat on the shoulder, an almost pitying look on his face. It was as if he knew of his dilemma. Though Mika sure hoped he didn’t because that would be violating Rinne’s first lesson to him.
So that all left Mika back at square one. Absolutely down bad for Shu Itsuki and absolutely bitch-less. But! Mika still had a way to claw his way back up from this whole mess. When Rinne had gone racing out the door to escape Ibara’s wrath, he had shoved a slip of paper into Mika’s bookbag. Mika sat in the Ensemble Square now, on the edge of the fountain, mulling over the paper with a hand on his chin. It had Ibara’s name printed at the bottom and the COSPRO logo stamped on the top. Clearly what had formerly been a business paper had been converted into Mika’s trump card into seducing Shu.
How to Seduce a Man: An Ultimate Guide by Rinne Amagi, it read in slanted, scribbled handwriting at the top of the page before continuing into a sprawling list Mika could hardly read. Mika could hardly believe he found somebody with worse handwriting than him. But a perk of having terrible handwriting was that he could more or less read other people’s terrible writing so he hunches over the precious page and starts at an arrow drawn in sharpie at the top.
Step One. Mika flattens the corner of the page, it having been wrinkled at the bottom of his bookbag. Do the exact opposite of what he wants. Mika frowns slightly. That sounded like a pretty good way to get another earful of angry French. But he follows the arrow down to where a ‘P.S’ was written on the side of the page. He’ll love it. Trust me :).
Rinne may not have a good reputation, at least from what Shu had told him, and he may scare Mika almost as much as Ibara did, but he was also the one that got Himeru with Tatsumi Kazehaya. Mika had been shocked to see the two idols kissing at some random restaurant when he turned on the TV to find some early morning cartoons to watch. But if Rinne had managed to get them on national television then he must have done something right. Right? Himeru and Tatsumi were famous now because of him! And if Mika has learned one thing about being an idol it was that being famous was generally a pretty good thing. It meant money, food on the table, and one pleased Shu Itsuki.
Mika had absolutely no reason not to trust Rinne’s advice! So Mika does exactly what he said. Shu had told him that he better stay late now that he had managed to get in so much trouble because if “you don’t have this choreography perfected by the end of the week then I will have your head, Kagehira!” but Rinne’s master plan included doing the exact opposite of what Shu wanted so Mika reckoned he better get home as fast as he can.
Mika tucked the list away in his back pocket and he gathered his things up with a grin. Shu had also complained earlier that they were running low on croissants so Mika would need to go to the bakery after class but Mika wouldn’t be doing that either. Mika didn’t quite understand how all this was going to make Shu magically fall madly in love with him but Mika didn’t understand a lot of things, like how to tie a tie and how to seduce men, so he could do nothing but hope that he didn’t manage to mess the process up any more than he already have.
So Mika skips home feeling rather proud of himself. He crossed the street with a wide smile on his face, he passed by the local alleycats, and he arrived home without a single complication. Step One was almost complete! There was just one last thing he had to do to properly check it off and it was to say hello to Shu--
“Oshi-sannnn!” Mika bursts into their shared apartment, stumbling over his own feet as he struggles to take off his shoes. “I’m homeeee!”
“Kagehira?!” Shu sat at the dining table, a bright light shining overhead as he slouched over their newest costumes. He looked even more beautiful than usual, with his hair all tousled and damp from what Mika could only guess was a de-stress shower and his eyes were bright with shock. He must be so surprised that Mika had come home so early! And just to see him nevertheless! Mademoiselle was beside him, smiling at Mika pleasantly.
“Hi oshi-san!” Mika plops down in the free chair, beaming from ear to ear. The list weighed heavy in his pocket. This was his big moment!
But Shu began to pinch his nose bridge so hard that his blunt fingernails left crescent shapes in his skin, not unlike the ones Ibara had made when he slammed his glasses higher up his face, “Kagehira, I was not… expecting you to return until this evening, perhaps even later if you truly were practicing.”
His oshi-san’s voice sounded strained, like he was holding himself back from another bout of scolding. Mika rests his chin in his hands and says cheerily,
“I missed ya! So I thought I’d come home early!”
Shu sighs, “But what about the choreography, Kagehira? I doubt you’ve perfected it already.”
“Sure haven’t, oshi-san!”
Shu was giving him a look now that reminded Mika a bit like the one Rinne had made when he read this mind. Mika desperately tried to shove away all the scandalous thoughts he had about Shu in case his oshi-san suddenly gained mind-reading abilities too because Mika was sure he would die if Shu ever saw what he thought about on a daily basis. Shu, all dressed up just for him… Ribbons, lace, cheeks pink like candy and skin like the porcelain of a doll. His soft violet eyes rounded as he awaited Mika’s touch eagerly. His neck utterly ruined with reddening bruises--
“Kagehira, I’ve told you to reframe from making those dreadful noises!” Shu gives the younger Valkyrie member a gentle bonk on the head. Mika hadn’t even realized he had begun to nghh and he hurriedly waves his hands with a sheepish smile.
“Nghh, sorry oshi-san! I must have spaced out…” Shu definitely hated him now, if he could truly read Mika’s thoughts. He was so shameless, thinking of his oshi-san in such incriminating situations. But… It wasn’t his fault he was just so easy to think about. It wasn’t Mika’s fault that Shu looked absolutely beautiful in lace, or the fact that his pretty little neck was just begging for Mika to bite it…
But Rinne had said that kissing was off the list until he married Shu so that probably meant Mika would have to wait a while for all those other things to happen. Mika can’t help but nghh sadly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to marry Shu, of course. Mika would gladly swear the oath right this very instant, sitting here in the dining room of their cramped little apartment, both in their school uniforms but Mika knew from the two other times he’s tried to propose that Shu simply wouldn’t agree. Something to do with being too young and Mika spouting nonsense, which was nonsense in itself because Mika would still want to marry Shu no matter how old they may become and he knew for a fact his love and adoration for the man was certainly not nonsense but in the end, Shu would still turn him down. Mika sighs forlornly.
“Kagehira!” Shu snaps. Mika starts and stares at his oshi-san with wide eyes. “Yes?!”
Shu rubs his temples, “I’ve been speaking to you for the past five minutes but clearly there is something else on your mind. So go make yourself useful and start the rice cooker if you’re just going to sit here and idle away. You can space out as long as you make sure the rice doesn’t burn.”
“Nghh, m’ sorry oshi-san, I’ll do that right now!” Mika scrambled out of his chair with a sheepish look, hurrying off to do just that. Maybe if Mika could pull off the next step in the ultimate guide then he wouldn’t be so distracted…
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Rinne was walking out of the dorms, humming Risky Venus under his breath when he smacked right into Himeru. He stumbles back and scowls at the man.
“Hold yer horses there, Mermeru.” He shoulders around him pettily. “Ya shouldn’t be so airheaded, runnin’ into people like that!”
Himeru squints at him as if Rinne hadn’t just been minding his own business like any other person and was instead staring at his phone, which Rinne totally wasn’t. “Himeru would suggest the same to you, Amagi. Perhaps you should refrain from scrolling and walking at the same time.”
“I think ya should refrain from bein’ a bitch.” Rinne shoots back, sticking his tongue out at Himeru. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Merumeru , I have a Live to catch.”
Himeru gives him another strange look. Seriously, what was with him today, looking at Rinne like he wasn’t the world’s best gambler and the leader of the hit unit Crazy:B? It was really starting to piss him off. Maybe he should pull a page out of Ibara’s book and put his Merumeru in his proper place, which did not include running into innocent civilians!
“Last Himeru checked, no Lives were being held today.”
“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Meru!” Rinne grins. “If all goes as planned then Valkyrie will be performin’ in half an hour!”
“If a group as famous as Valkyrie was performing, the que to get into Ensemble Square would be enormous. Himeru had just been outside and not a soul had been there.”
“ Kyahaha, ever the vigilant one, Meru! But that’s just the point! Nobody should be watchin’!”
Himeru’s squint deepens to the point that his eyes were practically closed, “Himeru cannot fathom a word you're spouting.”
Rinne puts his hands on his hips, “Well, yer old man has been indulgin’ in what ya would call a side hustle .”
“Please enlighten Himeru before he decides this is all a terrible waste of his time.”
Rinne huffs, “Kohaku-chan is definitely rubbin’ off on all my bees! I’m going to strangle that cowboy bitch someday mark my words—“
“ Amagi. Side hustle?”
“Oh yeah. Well. Ever since you and yer lil homie-sexual priest bitch got on tv, people have been askin’ me the secret to a perfect relationship! So I’ve been tellin’ em’!”
That was a lie. People had been asking why they saw Rinne zooming around on a golf cart comin’ from the direction of the prison but well, Himeru was being a bitch so a white lie wouldn’t hurt him.
Himeru looked mildly horrified. As if Rinne had just told him that Tatsumi dumped him, or more accurately, that Rinne had started giving out free relationship advice. Good. Suits him right, being rude to his loving and adoring and very responsible leader. Rinne glares at him.
“What’s the problem, Meru?”
Himeru lets out a strained sigh after a moment. Seriously, Rinne could not stand when he did that, standing there clutching his face with that stupid expression, sighing like he was a middle aged white soccer mom whose kid just whiffed an open shot.
“Himeru hopes that whoever made the mistake of asking you of all people for relationship advice enjoys prison food.”
“Prison food?!” Rinne exclaims. “Why would they be eatin’ prison food?!”
“Because that’s where Himeru almost ended up when he took your advice, Amagi.” Himeru replies flatly.
“And who saved yer ass?! Ugh, I’m leavin’. I’m tired of hearin’ yer bitchin’.” Rinne shoves by him, purposely aiming to knock his shoulder into Himeru’s. The blue haired idol easily dodges but turns to follow, sighing all the while.
“Yes, Himeru unfortunately must admit you are right. He apologizes for the jibe.” Himeru sounded like he had to force out the apology, like it physically pained him to say he was sorry to Rinne. Rinne pointedly doesn’t reply. “But now he must ask where you’re going, Amagi. What exactly did you tell these people seeking your so-called advice?”
“ Person, Meru. Rinne Amagi’s ultimate guide to seducin’ men has yet to hit the shelves so I’ve graciously handed it out to Kagehira. For free. Y’know, the short one in Valkyrie? The simp?”
Himeru nods, though he grimaces at the title of Rinne’s upcoming New York Bestseller, “Himeru knows him, yes…”
“Well.” Rinne smiles widely. “By now, he should be on step two! So imma go see how that’s all workin’ for him. Itsuki-chan is undoubtedly head over heels for him now!”
Himeru raises an eyebrow as they push their way out into Ensemble Square, walking towards the COSPRO Live theater across the way. “And what exactly is step two?”
“‘Never communicate!’ Trust me, Meru. The less ya talk to Kazehaya-chan, the less ya wanna murder him, yeah? So the less Kagehira talks to Itsuki-chan, the less likely they are to kill each other!”
Himeru stops dead. Rinne doesn’t notice for another few steps and he turns around to see Himeru staring at him with such a pale face that it was Rinne’s turn to squint at him.
“Hah? Meru, didja see a ghost or somethin’?”
Himeru continues to stare at him, “Amagi… Himeru’s case is… a very particular one. You shouldn’t be giving others the same advice you gave him.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking more and more distressed. “Plus that almost landed him in jail... Don’t tell Himeru that Kagehira neglected to inform Itsuki that their Live was pushed back until next Tuesday all because of your ‘advice’.”
“That’s what imma go check right now actually, kyahaha!” Rinne barks a laugh and whips around on his heels to continue on his way to the Live house.
Himeru comes up beside him, looking utterly exhausted already, despite the fact that honestly he hasn’t suffered all that much in this fic. Maybe his Advil- alcohol cocktail from last fic has yet to wear off. “Himeru will accompany you to clean up the mess you make when this all turns out to be an ultimate failure.”
“Ya have so little faith in me, Merumeru! Does yer old man have to remind ya who help ya land yer bitch?”
Himeru gives a tch, “Stop calling yourself Himeru’s ‘old man’. Himeru would rather die than have you as a father, Amagi. And to add, Himeru would like to inform you that he has formally sworn off of men. He thinks it is best he try to stave off his homie-sexual tendencies lest we end up in another prison-breakout operation. Himeru does not know if Saegusa will be as willing to lend a helping hand the second time around.”
Rinne glances at him with a frown, “I dunno if ya can just turn off yer homie-sexualness if imma be honest, Meru. Because if that was true then well, I’d be able to go to Home Depot.”
“Himeru has already told you, that was a joke, idiot.”
Himeru was saved from a good old fashioned smack for being so rude to his leader because they arrived at the Live house and low and behold, there wasn’t a single star-eyed fangirl in sight. Rinne gave Himeru a triumphant smile as he strolls through the doors. If all was going according to plan then step three should be happenin’ any moment now—
“KAGEHIRA.”
Ah, there it was. Rinne was such a total genius, he could even predict the future now. If only he could be an expert future-teller when it came to the pachinko tables. Rinne grabs Himeru’s sleeve and yanks him into the auditorium. It was empty, just like Rinne knew it would be. He truly was a mad relationship-advice genius. Maybe he should quit being an idol and go full time.
Mika was frantically waving his hands, standing on the raised stage platform in full costume and make-up as Shu looked about two seconds away from tearing his hair out, then his own. “ Nghh, oshi-san, don’t be mad! This was all a part of the plan!”
“What. Plan.” Shu grits out. He was squeezing the microphone so hard that even from here in the back row of the auditorium Rinne could see his knuckles turning pale. The spotlight illuminated the Valkyrie pair and their music even started to play, their set glowing and the track elegant. Shu ignored the music and continued to bicker with Mika.
Himeru face palmed, “You’ve really done it now, Amagi.” Rinne shushes him as Mika nghhs again.
“My ultimate guide!” Mika explains quickly with wide eyes. He looked ready to bolt in case Shu decided to pull another ‘I’m-not-a-homie-sexual-insert-angry-French-here’ scene like when the bees last confronted the Valkyrie leader. “‘Never communicate!’ It was step two! Look, oshi-san!”
Mika offers out a rumpled piece of paper from some hidden pocket in his intricate costume. Shu all but rips it from his hand, his eyes flying over Rinne’s flawless handwriting so fast Rinne felt a bit offended that he wasn’t taking the time to properly soak in his expert prose. It wasn’t just every day he handed out his sacred advice after all!
“ How to Seduce Men: A Guide By Rinne Amagi.” Shu reads, loud and clear because the mic had been turned on at some point, probably with how hard he was gripping it. “Kagehira… Rinne Amagi? Of all people? How dare you stoop as low as ask him for help!”
Rinne simply couldn’t stand it any longer. First Himeru, and now Shu?! Rinne bursts out of his seat and props a foot up onto the backrest of the chair in front of him, pointing at the Valkyrie duo on the stage, all the way at the bottom of the empty auditorium.
“Hey! That’s my next best seller right there!” Rinne shouts down. “Don’t be insultin’ my work ya French bitch!”
Shu whips around. Rinne couldn’t suppress the shudder that went through him. Shu suddenly looked ten times more scary than even Ibara did. It was like Shu had just dropped his croissant, or Rinne just called him a “French bitch”. He points a shaky finger at Rinne as if a laser would shoot out of it and would incinerate the leader Bee.
“You.” Shu breathes out shakily. “You dare humiliate my art like this. You dare humiliate Valkyrie.”
“A—Ah.” Himeru slowly gets to his feet, tugging on a face mask, as if that would hide the fact that nobody else had hair as bright blue as him, or the fact that his face was now constantly on national television and not even a mask could save him from recognition, let alone from a coworker. His Merumeru was such an idiot sometimes. “Himeru suggests we leave now, Amagi.”
“Nghhh, oshi-san, wait!” Mika suddenly blurts out. Shu glares at him like he wanted to incinerate Mika too. Mika practically deflates.
“What.” Shu bites out harshly. Mika gives a scared sounding nghhh .
Come on Kagehira! Rinne thinks with conviction, like thinking it hard enough would will it into existence. There’s only one thing ya can do to save yer chance at landin’ yer bitch now!
Mika pulls a bowl out of who knows where. Rinne wouldn’t be surprised if Shu managed to sew a bowl-sized pocket into their costume because who knows when you might need to whip a bowl out in the middle of a Live. Clearly this was that exact time though because Mika presents a bowl out of seemingly nowhere, offering it out to the older Valkyrie like a peace treaty.
Shu eyes the contents of it, “Kagehira, what is that?”
“Nghh, it’s potato salad, oshi-san!” Mika’s hands were shaking so hard Rinne was worried he might drop the bowl, which certainly wasn’t in his flawless plan. “Step three! If there’s a problem, potato salad!”
Himeru shook a few more Advils out of his bottle, swallowing it. Rinne whooped and clapped, screaming down a proud, “Look at ya go, Kagehira! Ya officially graduated from yer old man’s ultimate guide to seducing men!”
But Shu, on the contrary, did not look the least bit amused. In fact, the Valkyrie member slapped the potato salad out of Mika’s hand and with a frustrated shriek, he stormed off the stage, leaving Mika behind to nghhh at the loss of the potato salad.
“Utterly depraved! Utterly vile!” Shu roared as he whipped the curtains back and disappeared behind them. “What repulsive, sickening, utterly appalling—“
Mika scrambled after him, tears in his eyes as he called after his beloved, currently very angry oshi-san. Rinne flopped back down into his chair with a sigh.
“I knew I should have written meatloaf instead of potato salad, Merumeru.” Rinne sighs. “All good writers follow their gut and yer old man didn’t listen to his.”
Himeru shook his head slowly, “Himeru suggests you sleep with one eye open, Amagi. Itsuki will not let you rest easy for that trick.”
“Trick?! Trick?!” Rinne shouts, thoroughly appalled at such an insult. “Meru, yer a failure of a homie-sexual, maybe ya should keep ya bitch ass trap shut! Just because I made a lil oopsie by suggestin’ potato salad rather than meatloaf doesn’t mean ya can go on insultin’ art!”
Himeru only sighs, as if he couldn’t bring himself to argue with Rinne and Rinne thought that was right fuckin’ choice because he was two seconds away from beating that sigh right out of his throat. Rinne gets up and stalks away with a humph. Well, it looks like he has some revising to do if he wants his book on bookshelves anytime soon. And he better get it done quick if any of these homie-sexual losers here at Ensemble Square wanted to get any bitches. Afterall, Rinne Amagi got all the bitches.
Well. Maybe not all of them. But don’t worry, Rinne was definitely going to try the meatloaf-method when he proposed to Nikki next.