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His fork scraped against the plate, mindlessly pushing around the remaining crumbs of cake. With the sun setting and the sky turning black, it was beginning to get chilly as evening breeze brushed the air.
I should go close the balcony door, Shuichi reasoned, sighing and finally standing from his seat to dump the plate in the sink. Stepping outside, the cool wind felt quite nice. I think he would like the view… he laughed softly to himself, shaking his head and twisting the ring on his finger. He wasn’t sure how long he stood out there for, long enough for the last rays of sun to disappear and cast darkness over the rest of the city. The only light came from the lamps inside behind him, and the stars up above. He smiled softly at the sight, taking in one last breath before closing his eyes and turning around to walk back inside, and the room now a bit darker-
Wait.
What…?
Darker…? But the lights were just on—
He didn’t check the time.
Sick. Shuichi felt sick right down to his bones as he instantly gagged, knees nearly going out underneath him as he leant on the wall for support. He didn’t check the time before walking through the door- he didn’t- oh, god… No… no, nononononononono- he wasn’t supposed to be here, why was he here again—?
Glug.
He turned to his left, staring down the now monochrome hallway.
“ Shuiiiiiichiiii~ ” No. The blob tilted its head as it came closer. “ Why did you leave me here, beloved? ”
“No… no, Kokichi- no—”
“ Why are you still alive? ” Shuichi stumbled backwards, knocking over a pot. He didn’t need this- he didn’t need to hear the question he’s been asking himself this entire time. He realized tears were starting to pool in his eyes as his vision blurred. “ You think you have the right to cry…? Don’t you remember how much pain I was in? ”
Kokichi—the real Kokichi—suddenly emerged in the sludge, slamming a fist against the goo which was functioning as some sort of wall. He kept banging his fist against it, trying to get out. His screams were muffled, yet still audible.
“Help me!” He begged, hitting the wall once more before his bones began to snap, twisting and sizzling. Shuichi’s back hit a wall. “Shuichi, help me! Please! It hurts!”
“I’m sorry-” he sobbed, sliding down to the floor. Kokichi’s screams grew louder, more gurgly, as his neck snapped and the rest of his skin melted into the slime. “I’m sorry, Kokichi- I—” the words died in his throat, the goop now towering over him. Golden eyes slid open slowly, looking right into his soul.
And it shot straight towards him.
...
....
.....
......
Shuichi shot up with a gasp, struggling for air as he clutched the bedsheets between white knuckles. Coughing, he curled into himself, grabbing at his erratic heartbeat and grasping his gray t-shirt in his fist. That was… that was a nightmare. It was a nightmare; he didn’t end up back in that liminal hell. He was- he—
“Mmgh… Shu?” His entire body stiffened. He slowly turned to his right, unsure of what he was about to find.
“K…” He could barely get out a single syllable, his voice so soft in the fear that if he spoke any louder, the boy in front of him would disappear. “Ko…K-Kokichi?”
“That’s me,” he mumbled through a yawn, sitting up. “What’s wro—mmhp!” Their teeth clacked together, honestly quite painfully, as Shuichi cupped his face and kissed him a bit too hastily. Kokichi winced and pulled back, but Shuichi’s trembling hands kept him in place.
“I love you,” he breathed shakily before pulling him in for another kiss. “I love you, Kokichi. I’m in love with you. I love you so much—I love you, I love you, I love you- ”
“Shuichi-”
“I’m so sorry—I didn’t want to leave you, please believe me. I came back, I did- I didn’t want you to be in that much pain. If I could’ve swapped our places I would have, I’m so so so sorry—”
“ Shuichi. Look at me.” Kokichi pried himself from Shuichi’s hold and grabbed his face with both hands, looking directly into his eyes. “It was a bad dream. It wasn’t real.” It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. “You’re okay. I’m okay. We’re snuggled up in our warm, comfy bed, ‘kay?” It wasn’t real… Right, he could feel the fluffy blankets that Kokichi insisted they keep on the bed despite Shuichi getting incredibly warm throughout the night. He could feel the chill of the blasting air conditioner against his arms as a compromise to the blankets. Feel Kokichi’s stick-like arms beneath his oversized sweater as he clutched onto him, scared to let go again. Feel Kokichi’s calloused fingers against his face and neck like a reassuring anchor… It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real…
But it felt… so, so real. He felt Kokichi’s nails digging into his arm as he dangled, felt his face still damp from tears, felt his chest ache and his stomach twist at the grief. He felt his nostrils burn from the smell of burning flesh, his throat close from the sobbing and anxiety. Felt the chilled stone underneath his fingertips as he ran his fingers over the gravestone at Kokichi’s empty tomb, felt the metal as he fidgeted with the ring around his finger to show his heart was already taken. Felt the biting cold of a blade as he turned it over in his hands and contemplated—
“Shuichi…” Kokichi murmured, squeezing his face lightly before brushing away his tears with his thumbs. “You’re okay,” he whispered, combing his fingers through Shuichi’s hair. “Come here, beloved.” He pulled him into a hug, snuggling as close as possible and resting his chin on Shuichi’s shoulder.
“ You’re here, ” was all he could choke out, squeezing him so tight it was sure to hurt.
“Always will be, Shuichi. I’ll be here as long as you want me here—”
“ Forever. ”
“...You sure? That’s a long time, Shumai—”
“Yes.” Shuichi was positive. Absolutely positive. He buried his face into the crook of Kokichi’s neck, inhaling deeply to try and engrave his natural smell in his brain. He reached behind him to grab one of Kokichi’s hands, holding it tightly and bringing it to his chest, against his rapidly thumping heart. He didn’t feel a ring on Kokichi’s finger… he’d have to change that. “I want to be with you forever,” he repeated, the next part coming out as a shaky whisper. “ I can’t imagine living without you. ”
Kokichi stayed silent, rubbing Shuichi’s back with his free hand. Eventually, he kissed the side of his neck and began to maneuver them sideways. “Let’s lay down, hm?” When Shuichi squeezed him, he laughed. “You can still hold me, don’t worry.” He must have been able to tell that Shuichi didn’t want to let him go, because as soon as they laid down he didn’t waste any time curling up and tangling their limbs together. After a few more moments of quiet, Kokichi pressed a kiss to his nose.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“...Maybe tomorrow.”
For now, he just needed to hold him. Needed the soft kisses, the tenderness as they shared a loving gaze, the fingers lightly trailing against his side. He needed to feel Kokichi in his arms, feel his heart still beating- feel him still alive. And as they finally got pulled back into the depths of sleep, Shuichi hugged him as close as he could.
Because for all he knew, he could wake up again, and he would be gone.