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I wonder if the cafeteria is still open.
"It's closed," Saesee obligingly replied, still volunteering to help.
He had seen a note about it exactly three minutes earlier. Exceptional closing.
Then he froze, his heart beating fast as the human stopped dead in his tracks and turned to him, looking surprised and confused.
He had failed again, hadn't he?
"You didn't say that out loud, did you?"
"Yes, that’s right." The guy agreed, looking at him like a strange puzzle before making the connection that he was facing an Iktochi. They had a reputation. "Ah. Telepathy?"
"Yes," he murmured softly. "My apologies, I don't always realize it."
It was complicated to prevent thoughts from entering his mind, it would be like preventing his ears from picking up sound. It couldn't be done. At best he could take in everything at once and not focus on anything specific in an incomprehensible and deafening jumble of thoughts.
"No problem, man, just relax. You just saved me an unnecessary trip."
His words spoke the truth. It was rare enough to be noted. People didn't like it when someone could enter the privacy of their mind and learn all their secrets.
"You're the first telepath I've ever talked to, can I ask you a question about that?" The other blue-eyed man asked politely, a tiny puzzled smile on his lips.
He was so short compared to him. At least twenty centimetres shorter than him.
"I'm listening."
And when he said "listening" he meant it both ways, even if the other didn't know it.
"Can you read the memories or just the present moment?"
I wonder if he can see people's memories, but that might seem a bit much, even for someone with the Force.
It was... remarkably similar, oddly enough. In any case, he didn't wonder if Saesee could see him messing around or drinking alcohol or taking death sticks or having sex. Yes, people often thought of such things when they learned of Saesee's telepathy... and it was very embarrassing.
"Just the present thoughts," he reassured the other, still a little uncomfortable even when the other smiled broadly at him.
You are very pink and very tall.
"And you are very blond and small," Saesee retorted, annoyed but at the same time amused by the stranger's unashamed use of his abilities.
It was so refreshing that someone would intentionally use it, projecting his thoughts in such a clear way that it was like written on paper that he couldn't really find in himself to be annoyed like he usually would be. It was even funny, and very easy, the other Jedi had to consciously try to project the sentence for it to come to him so clearly.
"Anyway, are you a Padawan or a Knight, O tall and gloomy scowling fellow?"
"Knight. You?"
"The same. I'm really hungry, though."
"It's closed," he repeated.
The blond raised an eyebrow at him.
Cute.
"Unconscious, huh? I'm trying to invite you to have dinner with me."
"Huh?"
"Yeah? I like to compete with others in lightsabers duels and taking on a telepathic guy would be a huge challenge for me, but since I'm not an asshole, I'll take you to dinner first."
"Are you serious?"
Saesee did not need his telepathy to realize that yes, the human was completely serious.
"So, what do you say? A meal for a workout?"
"Do you think about anything other than your stomach and fighting?"
No.
"I love to train and I need energy for it," the human declared with a big and unrepentant grin.
"I may have already eaten," Saesee pointed out to him.
"Did you?"
"No, I didn't."
"Great, let's go. Do you have any allergies? Any preferences?"
"I was going to fast," the Iktotchi said, overwhelmed by this strange human who seemed to be out of control.
Fasting was good for staying humble, and as a Jedi he had to stay humble because he was only a vessel of the Force.
The Knight's face was already telling him how he felt about fasting.
Saesee was amused.
His Master would have really disapproved of this Knight.
On the other hand, his Master disapproved of him overall despite his efforts to be perfect so...
"Are you serious, man? Come on, you look like you could use a little spontaneity in your life."
"And I suppose you are spontaneous?" He retorted, unwillingly taking a step forward to join him.
Darling... you have no idea.
"I'm a hurricane," the guy replied with a laugh. "Let's go !"
Saesee would have no idea why he had ended up in a tiny Pantoran restaurant that he wouldn't even have seen on a well-lit street, nor why he would end the evening with a smile.
He also wasn't sure how or why he had train regularly with Cin after that – he had learned his name when the other had contacted him via com and Saesee hadn't recognized him, though he strangely didn't remember telling him his name when they talked – or why they had spend so much time together outside.
Maybe because Cin was honest and genuinely liked him for who he was, and he wasn't afraid. They were comrades.
I fucking like this guy.
Okay, they were friends.
They did almost everything together, and around them people instinctively knew that if you wanted Saesee to be relaxed, you had to invite Cin, or even invite Cin directly since he never let Saesee mope alone when he went to socialize.
He was... happy. He was happy even when hair care products started invading his bathroom because Cin wanted to have long hair, or when little tunics or capes started occupying hangers in his closet. He was glad someone listened to him when he talked about flying or ships, his only true passion, the one thing his Master never really managed to erase in him. He was glad that Cin shared his thoughts without holding back and not even the slightest amount of fear in him regarding his telepathy.
Even his ridiculous use of it during training amused him more than it bothered him. He had had his first real giggle in years when Cin tricked him by projecting into his mind a scene of him naked doing pole dancing. It was the first time he had ever lost, but he was not at all disappointed, and Cin's sweet, not even triumphant smile had followed him for days.
Now that they thought about it, they had become best friends, hadn't they?
I fucking love this guy.
Yeah, even Cin thought so, several times a day. You didn't love strangers, the one you were close with, your Lineage and your friends. A Jedi might be supposed to have no attachments of any kind and only serve the Force, but Saesee knew affection, even if he didn't have many friends. None besides Cin, in fact.
Perhaps because he was used to the human's almost constant presence in his life, he was shocked to see that Cin actually did this sort of thing with others. It was normal, yes, but... disturbing in a way he had trouble identifying.
Cin had obviously been practicing with Jocasta, one of his friends, and had pinned her against the floor of the training room. Their positions were... he didn't know, wrong?
He had run away, unable to know what was wrong with him, and returned in a protective reflex to what he was before their friendship. It was hard to forget six years of a friendship that had only deepened but he had to. He had to protect himself.
Except he had forgotten a few details in the panic, namely that Cin knew him too well and had free access to his apartment.
"What the hell was that?!"
"Huh?"
"Why did you leave?"
"That... you were busy!"
Banthashit.
"That... Cin!" He was indignant at the vocabulary Cin rarely used in his presence.
He didn't like that kind of language.
"No, that's pure Banthashit! We had an date, I was waiting for you because you had your meeting, you even came TO GO BACK?!"
"Please keep it down," Saesee begged softly. "No need to shout."
"I'm yelling because I'm pissed off and frustrated! And you know as well as I do that the walls are thick enough that no one can hear!"
Saesee took a deep breath. He didn't like yelling. He liked it even less when it came from Cin for him.
"You were busy with Jocasta, so I-"
Stop.
Saesee may have been much taller, physically tougher and stronger, but he still felt smaller with this little human.
"What is your problem?" Cin repeated in a different way, his fists clenched.
"I don't know."
Immediately, Cin's posture softened. He had always been very tolerant and patient with Saesee about his inability to recognize and understand his own emotions. Reading other people's emotions and thoughts had never made his own any clearer, and his Master had always been an advocate of suppressing them altogether, so it hadn't helped.
"Oh. All right, well... think about that, okay?"
Saesee nodded and accepted the unexpected hug offered by his friend.
"Do you still want to do this training? Or we can just stay here and listen to the audio recording of this conference you had me record."
"Stay here, please?"
He didn't want to go back today.
It ended with them lying on his bed, Cin lazily braiding his hair, his head resting on Saesee thigh. The human had completely switched off the big conference after a few minutes, probably because it was of no interest to people who did not fly. The new regulations were also ever more cumbersome and slightly inconsistent, never exactly catching up with all the previous mistakes while creating new ones. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to learn the entire Republican code for travel on the Hyperspace Routes now, especially if it was in full. He had learned it all his years as a Padawan, it was a uniform distribution along with everything else, but he really didn't envy the pilots who had to memorize it all in addition to learning to fly in their three year or so programs. It was laborious, slow and mind-numbing, especially since they also listened to debates between each decision because Saesee was curious to know the opinion of the decision makers involved in the issue, it might be useful one day, but it at least allowed him to listen while not focusing totally on it. There's nothing like a boring lecture to make him compartmentalize the noise and his own thoughts, recording the information from the former and sorting out the latter.
"I think I was a little jealous," he finally announced with a pout, disappointed in himself. "Sorry."
It was about the only thing that fit his physical symptoms and the situation, even if it was irrational. Saesee didn't like being stupid and irrational. Emotional.
Oh Saesee... don't worry. I love you.
"It's nothing," Cin added quietly.
"It's not, I shouldn't be jealous when you spend time with someone."
"Oh, you know... I'm also jealous when you're with other people, and it's true that when you get out of the excitement of a fight, I was actually lying on top of her, so I understand why it bothered you."
"All the same," Saesee insisted, clumsy with his words but trying nevertheless. "I also like you very much, it will not happen again."
"I assure you that it is nothing wrong. I think I even like it a little bit, seeing you possessive of me is... well, kind of cute?"
"It's not cute, it's excessive attachment."
And excessive attachment leads to the Dark Side.
"It's love," Cin declared, brushing away his argument with his hand. "No one finds it pleasant to see the person they love in that kind of position with someone else."
"That's no reason for me to stop my best friend from practicing and having fun."
... Huh?
"Is there something wrong with you? Your thoughts seem to be troubled."
"It's just that you... you said 'best friend'?"
"Yes? I mean, isn't that what we are?" He finally asked, vaguely nervous.
Cin got up to sit across from him, his hair forgotten before hiding his face in his hands.
"Saesee..."
I'm IN LOVE with you, you moron!
"Huh?"
"I'm IN LOVE with you, you moron!" Cin repeated out loud, looking stunned. "Do you honestly not hear when I think I love you? I mentally send you "I love you" all day long!"
"I did, but you also say you love some of your friends, your Master, some of the Padawans you help train and-"
"Sweet Force, Saesee..."
Within seconds, he had his arms full of a human whose face was right up against his.
"I'd like to kiss you," Cin stated very clearly. "Is that okay?"
"Uh... I've never kissed anyone."
"That's not a yes."
"It will probably be nothing special," Saesee insisted.
"It's still not a yes. Do you want me to leave?"
"Yes?"
As soon as Cin stepped back, Saesee realized his mistake and pulled him back against him.
"Yes for you kissing me! Don't go away."
"Oh Saesee... you'll never get rid of me now," Cin whispered in his ear before leaning in to place his lips timidly on his.
For a few seconds, the Iktotchi felt his whole mind being overwhelmed by a wave of joy, warmth and electrifying euphoria, sustained by a single thought that was not focused on a word but on a sensation, a feeling of... rightness.
Compartmentalising to separate his thoughts from Cin's was a rather difficult job, more so than with the others, because they were just so often together and so close that they let their minds intermingle on a daily basis, but when he was completely alone in his head again, Saesee became aware of two important facts.
1 - He missed Cin. Not having his mind touch his was annoying.
2 - He still felt it. This mix of emotions was not only coming from Cin, Saesee was feeling it too.
And Cin felt perfectly right in his lap. So well in fact that Saesee wrapped his arms around him to subtly advise him not to back away. Not that it was necessarily necessary, since Cin had said he loved him.
Oh Force, Saesee realized. Love.
Cin was in love with him. He couldn't, he was a Jedi, Jedi don't-
If possible, Cin moved even closer to him, his soft lips against his, warm and soft, gently stroking his face with fingertips with a tenderness that made the Iktotchi feel warm and light.
Oh.
Maybe he was a little bit in love too, if he was even capable of truly understanding and feeling what romantic love was.
It was just that he was so comfortable with Cin, he was himself and appreciated for it, and he enjoyed Cin without worrying about all his sometimes strange habits and attitudes. He also liked kissing him, he could add that to the list, though he wasn't planning on opening his mouth, his teeth were still way too sharp for humans.
They would sort that out later, if Cin was already satisfied before then they would manage to build something that really suited them both. Worrying was irrational, so he relaxed. He was safe to go on and enjoy this. There was no need to understand everything.
"I thought you were shy or just absolutely not into intimate physical contact... but no, you were just an oblivious idiot, as always."
"Hey! I-"
And then his lips were claimed again, and Saesee didn't have the heart to complain anymore.