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To: The Me After Reo
Are you happy?
I can’t think of anything else to ask.
I don't know what else I can ask.
Are mom and dad treating us the same?
I don't like it. Everything is boring. They're no different.
Did you find anything or anyone?
Is anything worth it?
Are you mindlessly carrying on? Are you even living?
From: The Reo Before Me
Have you ever written a letter to your future self?
Reo wrote one, once.
It was when he was a first year in middle school, and he decided to try it out.
Whether it was because he was bored and needed a simple output, or some other reason only known to him, he grew hooked with this idea.
Unfortunately, his father found out, and early on, at that. He ordered Reo to stop doing such meaningless things and focus on preparing to take over the company.
And just like that, something he found a little bit of joy in was quickly taken away from him.
His old, boring life was back to what it was before.
To be truthful, he had forgotten all about this incident.
It wasn't until after Reo met Seishirou that he had found the letter, and all his memories came back.
To: The Reo Before Me and the Reo After Me
Are you happy?
I doubt it, to be honest. Maybe in the future, we'll be and stay so.
Mom and dad... are the same as always.
But I met a guy named Nagi Seishirou, and he's the one who brought color into our life.
Before I met him, I discovered football. He's the one who kindled my passion for it.
I have something to look forward to, now.
I have a reason to look forward to a new day.
I want to win the World Cup.
Can't you do that?
I'm sure we can.
Why don't you try?
Why didn't you try?
With this genius, I'm sure you'll make it.
This time, try.
From: The Me After Reo
He liked the corny idea and wrote another letter in reminiscence and nostalgia.
He was determined to dominate football. He was with Nagi Seishirou, and that meant he could take them to new heights.
He genuinely believed they could.
He doubted anyone thought even for a second he would be gone, just like that. Considering how they knew how he felt, it must have shocked them.
The rage he aimed at both himself and Nagi was so intense no one doubted it would suddenly be doused.
It was funny, really. In a messed up way, he thought it was funny.
And it wasn't as if anyone could just say, "I wish we noticed sooner," because that wasn't true.
If they were looking for any signs, they would've noticed.
But they didn't.
'Keep your eyes on me. Just keep waiting on me. Nagi.'
Seishirou vaguely remembers hearing those words. It was amusing, though.
The whole time he never took it to heart; he had always quickly forgotten about it. He had more important things to care about.
But seeing his lifeless body, everything Reo had said to him came rushing back.
He realized some discrepancies in his memories. It made him realize something he hadn't before: since when had Reo started calling him Nagi?
A sour taste spread throughout his mouth.
Didn't he say to wait for him? What would he do now? What could he do now?
He didn't know how to feel.
Anger? At who? Reo? For what? Killing himself?
Ashamed? Why? At himself? At him? Because he couldn't live up to his expectations? Because he left him there on his own?
Scared? Because he saw his friend's corpse and can't handle the sight? What right did he have?
Grief? Why? How could he? Isn't he the reason this all happened?
Nagi Seishirou didn't know what else he could do but to blame himself and atone for his actions.
He should've noticed the signs.
But were there even any in the first place?
He didn't know.
Zantetsu knew he wasn’t the brightest individual, but he still noticed the weird atmosphere around the pair of lovers.
It seemed like Nagi treated them the same, but Mikage was definitely different.
Of course, it was still Mikage underneath it all or so he thought, but it was still distinct. He thought you’d have to be stupider than him to not notice the signs.
Nagi didn’t see anything wrong.
He assumed he thought it was just Mikage’s frustration talking. And in a way, it was.
But Zantetsu didn’t think that was all.
Mikage treated everyone—especially Nagi—a little colder and with indifference. He kept people at a distance.
Despite their mini-trio during the First Selection, Zantetsu’s relationship with Mikage and Nagi wasn’t as close as theirs was to each other.
So, he didn’t say anything. He assumed it was just an argument between two best friends.
And, well clearly, it wasn’t just a harmless fight.
He didn’t think the way Mikage acted meant anything. It never crossed his mind that he would just suddenly disappear from their lives.
Tsurugi Zantetsu didn’t know how to react when he heard he killed himself.
But his heart and eyes started to sting.
..Was someone cutting onions in here?
When the body was found, Ego Jinpachi was forced to temporarily shut down the Blue Lock facility.
He couldn’t let news of a player’s death—much less the young master of an influential corporation—spread to the outside, otherwise, he would be forced to permanently discard the program.
Of course, this couldn’t last forever. Mikage’s parents and society would find out about it soon, so the only thing he could do was delay the inevitable and organize his actions from there.
Rather than releasing the players, Jinpachi had the Selection suspended.
In doing so, he had the opportunity to check Mikage’s sleeping quarters.
To: The Me After Reo
Who said I was okay? Who said I wanted to live?
I said so.
Did I believe in it, though?
Of course not.
As the heir to Mikage Corporation, I was given everything I wanted.
And what fun was there in living when I was forced to adhere to everyone’s expectations?
But then, like a miracle fell into my hands, I met Nagi Seishirou soon after I discovered the thrill of football.
What else could I do?
I believed that with him, we could win the World Cup.
For a time, I did, at least.
Now, I don’t think that dream will ever be accomplished.
What can I even do about it, though?
After coming to Blue Lock, like the cloth was removed from my eyes, I was given a reality check.
If I wanted the trophy, I would need to abandon Seishirou and everything I stood for.
But I didn't want to.
He was my treasure.
He brought color into my dull life, and I was finally given a reason to live.
He carried me to where I am today.
It was a toxic dependency, but what else could I do?
What else should I have done?
It might be presumptuous of me, but I thought he felt the same.
I guess not.
Do you think I'm childish?
I like to think I'm better than others, considering the luxurious life I was raised in.
But yes, I won't deny it.
I just never thought he would leave me just like that, and it came so abruptly I didn’t even know how to feel.
But what could I do?
He didn’t choose me. He chose them. And I didn’t have the power to do anything.
I tried.
But it wasn’t enough.
Why couldn’t it be enough?
Will I ever be good enough?
He was a firefly that lit up my dark world, and I chased that light, but he didn’t need mine.
If anything, I think he’d be a moth. If I ever lit up his life, he would only be around for a little while. If given the chance, he would abandon me without a second thought and simply chase a brighter light.
And that's exactly what he did.
You can’t blame him for that.
But I did. And I still do.
And yet I don’t have the right to.
What else could I do?
Without him, why else would I live?
I was discarded and thrown away—merely a second choice.
Was I living before?
Was I ever living?
Why am I alive even now then?
Sure, call me a coward for taking the easy way out.
I won’t deny it. If anything, I accept that fact. I am a coward.
I’m a coward who can’t face his failures.
I’m a coward who’s ashamed to face the fact that I wasn't good enough.
I’m a coward who doesn’t want to change.
I’m a coward who’s tired of everyone's expectations—of everything.
I’m a coward who wants to live but doesn’t dare to—is too scared to.
But I don’t want to die.
And yet I don’t think I have a future.
I don’t know what lies ahead if I continue.
What else could I do?
What else can I do?
‘Try’ I used to say.
And I did.
But look where I am, now.
Don’t you think it’s funny?
From: The Reo After Me
To be honest, Yoichi wasn’t expecting to find anything when he was ordered to search Reo’s sleeping quarters for anything he left behind.
There weren't even any drawers or cabinets, so imagine his surprise when he found three letters carefully stuffed between the mattress and the headboard.
It wasn’t exactly hidden, but the fact there was something in the first place still shocked him.
The first letter was beat-up and crumpled, clearly representing its old age.
The second only had a few creases and folds.
The third and final letter was completely crisp with no markings whatsoever. It looked as if it was written recently, maybe roughly a few days ago if he guessed? Perhaps it was yesterday or even today. Yoichi couldn’t tell.
He was confused when he read who the letters were addressed to and how they were signed, but he didn’t think too much of it.
As they say, curiosity kills the cat, but in Yoichi’s case, the chance was just too intriguing to pass up.
And having read the letters, it broke his heart.
Yoichi could see the development in how Reo had felt before football came into his life to the value he placed over Nagi and how he believed they could win the World Cup together to his feelings of betrayal and how he descended into forfeiting his life.
It was as cruel as showing a lost child the way and giving him hope but then suddenly taking that guidance away and leaving him alone and lost once more.
He wasn’t involved, but he didn’t know how to feel about this situation.
Yoichi wanted to blame Nagi, but he knew he couldn’t.
Both players were his friends, and one left them because of the other.
It wasn’t either of their faults.
It was just a matter of betrayal, football skills, and expectations.
Isagi Yoichi was conflicted.
With this new knowledge, what should he do?
What could he do?
If there was one thing Meguru was reluctant to be proud of, it was that he knew the closed-up boy named Mikage Reo had a plan.
The signs weren't clear, to start with. It was only if you looked extremely closely at what he did and why, that you could assume. Thinking that way, it was obvious.
Meguru was never exactly close with Mikage.
Sure, he played against him and stole Nagi from him in the Second Stage of the Second Selection, but he didn't think that would mean he'd automatically become friends with him. There was no chance to.
But even then, he could tell. Meguru prided himself on noticing the small details, despite his carefree attitude.
When he saw Mikage again, he looked determined but indifferent. His eyes were empty.
Considering how his friend left him for their previous rivals, he thought Mikage's expression was reasonable.
But he knew that there was a difference between his reaction and how others would react if they were left behind.
Meguru still didn't know much about him, but what he did know was that the boy named Mikage Reo was unusually attached to Nagi Seishiro, to the point where one could say he loved the other.
And in a way, that idea was right.
But he thought it was strange. Mikage was still a lot calmer than he would have expected.
He realized later that it was just a facade.
Curse him out, hurl stones at him, assault him, whatever; he didn't care. But believe him when Bachira Meguru says that he is not a good person.
Because when he caught a glimpse of Mikage Reo breaking down and self-destructing in the bathroom late at night, Meguru simply looked away and left.
Many people react to suicides differently, and these are only a few of them.
Some don’t care. Some are stricken with grief. Some don’t know how to feel.
Others have mixed feelings.
“I wish I noticed sooner.”
“I wished I could have helped.”
“I wish I was there for them.”
People say this, but where were you when they started to descend into madness?
Where were you when they needed someone to support them?
It’s too late to say these things now.
You had the opportunity and plenty of time to notice the signs, to help them when they were feeling down, to be there for them before they killed themselves. It wasn't as if their suicide was an impulsive decision.
But you didn’t do any of that. You ignored everything.
Don’t pretend everything is fine.
Don’t pretend you sympathize.
Don’t pretend you regret not being present.
It’s funny, really, the audacity people have in these situations.
After all, it's only after they cross that line do you really pretend you care.