Chapter Text
Orianna P.O.V
It was later that evening when Rachet paged Optimus to let him know he had conducted enough tests at the present time, and I was cleared to leave for the evening and, perhaps more importantly, cleared to begin my training with N.E.S.T.
True to his word Optimus met me at the Med Bay door to escort me back to the Autobot personal quarters hanger where I would be staying for the time being due to my ''display'' earlier today.
When Prime lowered his servo for me to get on for a ride back to the hanger, I ventured a favour. ''Optimus?''
''Yes, Orianna?'' he tilted his helm slightly as he began to exit the Med Bay.
''I know it's late and it's been a big day, but would you mind if we went for a walk to our beach – just you me and our stars? We haven't had a chance to do so for a little while and my brain is buzzing.'' I smiled apologetically at him. I knew it was late he was possibly exhausted himself.
''Of course Orianna, if that is what you wish,'' he smiled down at me warmly and turned to make his way through the tree line and onto our clearing, picking a spot down by the beach but not quite close enough to the sand which seemed to irritate his gears and cogs.
Very carefully he lowered himself into a sitting position and placed me on the ground beside him and I sat opposite him. I preferred sitting with him like this so we could converse, and I could take in his expressions and mannerisms. ''Is there something on your mind Orianna?'' Prime tilted his head again in that questioning fashion.
''What? You mean apart from; revealing my ability to move and manipulate objects with my mind to you all and the US Government, being drafted into N.E.S.T and then made to feel like a lab rat for several hours. No – nothing much Optimus!'' /I certainly won't tell you about Savoy too/.
Optimus shuttered his optics rapidly and the corner of his dermas twisted up into grimace.
At his aggrieved expression I quickly apologised for my tone, ''Sorry Optimus, it's just been a big day, as you are fully aware, and my life as I once knew it, has changed forever. Whether it is for the better remains to be seen.'' After my initial relief when Optimus and the others reassured me they were okay with my ''gift'', I was now having second thoughts.
''Oriana, regardless of whether it is for the better or worse, do not forget that we are in this with you,'' he paused and looked at me, ''that I am in this with you and together we will work this out and weather whatever storm shall come, you have my word.''
''Thanks Optimus, I appreciate your support.'' I felt a huge grin spread across my face. ''You know, that's one of the things I love about you, the way you look out for everyone all the time, support them and help them stay the course.'' I gently tapped his huge pedes with my foot, though he doubtless hardly felt it, it was a little gesture of acknowledgment and affection. ''Was that part of the job application in becoming a Prime?''
Optimus laughed, a deep rumble that shook his chassis like a mild earthquake, ''Orianna, you never fail to amuse me,'' his optics shone brightly.
I fixed him with a mock look of shock and disbelief, ''Optimus Prime! You laughed! I thought that was against the laws of being a Prime! Clause 3, paragraph 5 subsection C addendum B,'' I rattled off random legal sounding jargon much to Prime's amusement. ''On Matters Concerning a Sense of Humour: As a Prime thou shalt not be seen to possess a sense of humour, much less laugh, lest you no longer be taken seriously by your loyal subjects and the universe falls into utter disarray.'' I threw back my head and laughed a little at my own tongue in cheek comments. Though Optimus chuckled initially at my commentary, he slowly sobered up, growing serious again.
I looked disbelievingly at him. ''What? That isn't ACTUALLY a law is it?''
He looked at me and gave a slight chuckle, ''No Orianna it isn't, though it certainly feels like it is sometimes,'' his voice held a slight sorrowful tone to it.
I stood up and walked over to his servo that was lying flat on the ground beside him and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. ''Optimus, I cannot imagine the stresses placed upon you as a leader of a dying race, a race at war, a race whose home planet has been destroyed. I know your soldiers look to you for guidance and wisdom at all times, and I confess, I do too sometimes.''
Optimus turned bright optics towards me, pinning me with an intent stare.
When he stared at me this way it was both unnerving and intoxicating. I felt as though he was staring right into my soul. I pressed on. ''Whether you are aware of it or not, you just exude a presence of calm, assurity and strength but,'' I paused for a moment, ''I guess you don't always feel this way yourself though, do you? You just don't ever let on.'' I patted his servo again. Optimus redirected his gaze out towards the ocean for moment, as he processed my words.
After a moment, he turned his optics towards me again and they held such self-recrimination and doubt, I took a step back. ''Orianna, I have lost track of the times I have had to bury the feeling of uncertainty, doubt and even, fear - not so much fear for my safety but fear that I have let my Autobots down and made the wrong decision.'' I stepped back towards him and placed my hand on his servo, encouraging him to continue.
He shuttered his optics as he took the sight of me comforting him in. Though he said nothing. A spark beat later he returned his gaze towards the swirling waters. ''As a Prime I have to make countless decisions every day and I have been doing this for millions of years!'' his voice began to rise in a rare show of agitation and frustration, ''It's not that I don't want to laugh or express joy, it's just that for the longest time I had forgotten how to! I have not had a reason.''
/Oh, how I understand that Optimus/, I thought to myself, /how similar we both are in many ways/.
His deep voice rolled on and he turned to face me once more, ''When I was Orion Pax, I was very different in some ways, I could laugh, I did laugh. I did not have this constant weight on my shoulders,'' Optimus tore his gaze from me then and stared up at the stars, as though he could not bear to face me as what he was about to say tumbled out of his dermas. ''While for the most part I am honoured to have been chosen as my race's Prime and I have done my utmost to fulfil that role to the best of my abilities, a small part of me hates it and wants to cast it aside. The burden the mantel of leadership places on you can crush your spark to the point you feel you can't breathe, that you feel you are losing your sense of self as you struggle to be everything for everyone else.''
At this point he paused and looked back at me. ''To use a human analogy Orianna, I feel sometimes like I am at the point of drowning and I am just keeping my helm above water and I am searching for a life line but there is none to be found, so I just have to keep treading water - waiting, hoping.'' His voice trailed off and his optics held such sadness.
I exhaled the breath I did not know I had been holding. ''Then let me be someone who can throw that line to you when you need it.'' I placed my hand back on Prime's arm and looked up into his optics. ''I guess no one ever thinks that you need someone to lean on because you are the Prime.''
Optimus nodded his helm slowly and purposefully in acknowledgment of the kernel of truth I uncovered.
''I guess by virtue of your title alone most people, and Autobots, think you are impervious to most anything, when in truth, if anything, it makes you more susceptible as you shoulder not just your own doubts and fears but that of everyone else's!''
A look of gratitude passed over Prime's face plates as he realised someone else finally understood what he had been feeling for millennia now but felt he could not burden another with or could not find the right way to express it.
Without thinking I began to hum a song I had heard many years before that had brought me some comfort as I imagined someone being there for me at my lowest times. Optimus tilted his helm towards me at the sound of my humming. I closed my eyes and began to sing the chorus.
''Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone''
When I opened my eyes, I noticed Optimus staring at me, his azure optics brighter than I had ever seen them. ''Thank you Orianna. Yet again you humble me with your unwavering support and kind words, they mean more than you can imagine.'' He paused and tilted his helm in the opposite direction. ''I didn't know you could sing.''
I simply crossed my arms and smiled up at him, a playful mood returning once again, ''You didn't ask if I could.''
Optimus straightened his helm and enquired, ''Can you swim?'' Then cast his optics out towards the dark waters of the reef.
I looked at him blankly for a moment, what an odd question, ''Ahh, yeah, why?''
''I merely inquired as I am tempted to throw you into the ocean for your impertinence towards a Prime,'' he continued to gaze at the reef.
I looked at him aghast, ''You wouldn't…''
Optimus then turned his helm to look back in my direction once again, a smile on his dermas and his optics full of mischief.
I laughed out loud, ''Wow! Optimus, laughing AND making jokes in one night! I think I am having an effect on you,'' I pointed an accusatory finger at him.
Optimus paused and lowered himself towards me. His face was mere metres away and he placed a digit under my chin with great care and gentleness, tilting my head up towards him, ''More than you know Orianna. More than you know,'' his low voice rumbled with emotion.
I felt my heart flutter in my chest as though it had dissolved into a million butterflies all eager to escape at once. A heat crept across my cheeks. /What on Earth?/. Prime released my chin and ex-vented softly. ''Perhaps it would be wise to retire for the evening Orianna. It is past midnight and tomorrow you commence your training.''
I shook my head to regain some clarity and stammered, '' Y.. You're right. Good call Optimus.'' At that point I felt a bone tiredness seep into my bones. It was as though all of the events of the past twenty-four hours had finally caught up with me, ''Mind if I get a lift?''
Wordlessly, Optimus lowered his servo and allowed me to climb aboard. Cradling me carefully as though I was a precious baby bird, he walked back towards Autobot personal quarters and my awaiting makeshift room. The gentle swaying motion of Prime walking was enough to lull me to sleep and the last thing I recalled was the feeling of being wrapped in warmth as Optimus must have gently placed me in my bed and pulled the covers around me.
Prime P.O.V
As I finished placing Orianna in her bed, I took a moment to regard her. So small and seemingly helpless as she lay there, surrounded by her light blanket. Yet this woman had such strength, and not just her ''gift''. Her spirit, her capacity to reach out to others in their time of need and help them, guide them, taking on their burdens as her own. /Like a Prime/. The thought passed swiftly across my processor like a shadow.
I had to restrain myself from reaching out to touch a digit to her face. Since that fateful night at Turtle Cove, I had come to rely on Orianna as my sounding board more and more, enjoying our conversations of an evening under our stars on our beach.
A wry smile graced my dermas. A Prime's time is often consumed with endless meetings, data analysis, strategy, liaising with the chain of command, ensuring your troops are in good health and a million other, at times, ''mundane and draining'' chores. Any time I spent with Orianna was beginning to feel like a release, like a moment free of a gilded cage where I could soar and be free to truly be myself, share my worries, my concerns without fear of judgement. I began to look forward to stealing away a few precious moments or, when delightfully possible, hours with her.
Orianna stirred in her sleep, giving a small moan, followed by a grimace. I began to lower a digit to try and sooth her but thought better of it. Shortly afterwards, the grimace was replaced with a soft smile. My spark pulsed strongly in its casing at the sight.
/What was that?/. I recoiled slightly at the unexpected, though not unpleasant, sensation. While tonight on the beach I had admitted to Orianna that she was indeed having an effect on me, my spark's reaction just now concerned me as to the depth. I cast my optics about, as if expecting the answer to materialise in thin air and to see if any of my team had noticed my reaction. Nothing.
I refocused my attention on the small figure laying before me. My spark still ached for Elita, perhaps it always would. Though as I knelt there in her silent presence, and as I reflected on the past few years with Orianna and how she had become a part of my life, I could not help but notice how the pain and the emptiness began to recede when in her company, like the dark and turbulent waters of a flood once the storm had passed and the sun shone once more. /My little ray of sunshine/.
I smiled softly once more at my dear friend as she lay blissfully unaware of my silent reveries. With a final glance at her, I quietly rose and walked away to my own quarters in a bid to allow recharge to find me.