Chapter Text
Megatron P.O.V
''BE CAREFUL YOU SLAGGING FOOL!'' I bolted upright and roared at Knockout as he prodded a particularly painful spot where that insufferable Prime had stabbed me.
''I'm sorry Lord Megatron. I am doing my best.'' There was a tempered irritation in his tone.
''Well, your best is not good enough,'' I snapped at him. ''Do I need to offer an incentive Doctor?'' The corners of my damaged dermas curved up into a sneer as I clenched a taloned servo into a fist before his optics.
''NO! Lord Megatron,'' Knockout blurted out hastily. ''I shall ensure I am particularly diligent and careful henceforth.''
''See that you are Knockout, for your sake,'' I ground out. Once again I lay back against the gurney in Decepticon Med Bay as Knockout made the necessary repairs.
''Lord Megatron, these injuries are – extensive. This may take some time.'' For a moment all I heard was the sound of Knockout's instruments at work within my chest before my physician gave a nervous laugh. ''Wow. Prime really did a num..'' Knockout's words died on his dermas as he heard the low growl rumble to life in my chest. ''Anyway, we shall be here for quite some time, so I hope you are comfortable.''
''Just shut up and get on with it Knockout. We would be finished sooner if it wasn't for your incessant prattling!''
''As you wish Lord Megatron,'' Knockout responded in a sharp and clipped tone.
Laying against the gurney, I could make out the form of my most loyal follower, Soundwave, as he stood watch in the doorway to the Med Bay. I closed my optics and allowed myself to relax a little knowing Soundwave would ensure my protection. Having a guard stand watch in the doorway was not a usual practice, but rather a necessary precaution at the moment given my acceptance of a truce with the Autobots earlier today.
Though the termination of what would have surely been my most vocal and dangerous threat, brought some respite from certain retaliation, there would always be another waiting in the wings to take Starscream's place. A small smile formed on my dermas and a fleeting remorse washed through me as I recalled the Seeker I loved to hate. /Such a shame really that I had to terminate him/.
As infuriating and detestable as Starscream could be, he had shown so much promise. He was intelligent, almost too smart sometimes, he was resilient, he was persistent, and he was all about self-preservation. He had so many qualities of a fine a Decepticon, but in the end he was too greedy, too power hungry and too foolish to realise there would and could never be any other ruler for the Decepticons but me!
/Was that the real reason you killed him?/. The thought echoed mockingly in the recesses of my processor, as a heavy feeling settled like a great weight about my spark. /Or was it because of desire to end Phoenix?/. I closed my optics and allowed her name to whisper through me like the ghost she now was. All at once, the image of the femme in question, battered, broken and bleeding by my own servo, taunted me. Something akin to guilt and sorrow, emotions so foreign to me, briefly flickered to life within me as I recalled how I had hurt her.
Almost at once, another thought snaked through my processor, and my fist clenched into a ball of barely restrained rage. /It is no less than she deserved! She lied to you, used you, made you look like a weakling in front of your soldiers. In front of that slagging Starsceam. My optics narrowed and I snarled, as my spark was torn in two.
''Lord Megatron?'' Knockout's hesitant enquiry intruded into my private thoughts.
''What is it Knockout?'' I bit out harshly.
''Oh nothing, you just seem – disturbed by something.'' Knockout paused a moment. ''Is.. everything okay?''
''It is none of your concern Knockout. As you were,'' I turned my helm away from him as a physical indication I no longer wished to engage in conversation with him. The truth of the matter was I did not wish to engage with anyone in this particular conversation. Knockout fell silent once more, his dermas a thin line of annoyance as he set to work again.
If she had been any other Decepticon, her spark would have been extinguished by now, plucked out and crushed by my own servo to serve as a warning to others. If she had been any other Autobot, I would have tortured her mercilessly, painfully until she begged for an end I would not grant.
/And yet. She lives/.
You let her live. You walked away from her. You let her go back to him! /Though you claim her spark is forfeit, your actions speak otherwise/. My body tensed as I confronted my own demons and traitorous thoughts. /You took Starscream's life over hers because he was going to kill her himself!/.
I closed my optics tightly as the truth of my words taunted me and the image of Phoenix, all aflame and radiating power, raced through my processor. Her optics seemed to peer right through me, mesmerising me, drawing me in only to drown in a sea of flames. /You killed one of your followers, a Decepticon, over an Autobot spy and sympathiser simply because he was going to take her away from you …/. ''NO! Enough!'' the words were torn from my dermas, and I moved to sit upright. I felt my chest heave and fall as I struggled to calm myself.
''Forgive me Lord Megatron, but do you wish me to cease your repairs?'' Beside me Knockout stared confused. ''I would strongly advise against…''
''Continue Knockout! I was, focused on - other things!'' Once again an irritated growl burst forth from my dermas and I began to slowly lower myself, biting back a wave of pain as I did so.
''Very well Lord Megatron.'' Knockout reached for a syringe and held it up before him. ''Do you wish for me to sedate you, so you no longer need to be disturbed by whatever it is that seems to trouble you?''
I shook my helm and snorted. ''Negative. I wish to remain awake to keep an optic on proceedings.'' /And to feel the effect my own weakness has wrought/.
Knockout nodded his helm and placed the syringe back on his table. ''Very well, but I caution you this could become painful, and I'll need you to hold as still as possible.''
/This could become painful!/, if he only knew how true those words were for an altogether different reason. I sighed out loud, just like those disgusting flesh creatures on this planet and I scowled at him. ''Just get this over with Knockout, be quick about it!'' He nodded his helm without a word and continued. I closed my optics to try and focus on something other then pain as he prodded, poked, cut and welded.
/So many injuries for Knockout to repair!/ I growled through shattered, gritted denta. Normally my skirmishes with Prime did not yield such a high number of repairs, and significant ones at that. I creased my brow as I recalled the ferocity with which Prime had attacked me. His bloodlust and power were something to admire on this occasion. /Too bad he didn't fight like this earlier in the war, it may have ended sooner/.
Though I would never admit it out loud, Optimus Prime was indeed a worthy adversary and one I had once, long ago, hoped to sway to our cause and have as my Second in Command. I had hoped he would be my most trusted, loyal follower at my right servo as we ruled Cybertron. /There was once a time you called him ''brother''/. I snarled and clenched my servos in agitation and anger as I fought to banish that irrelevant and painful memory. It had no use or purpose, save to vex me, and so I would bury it once more.
As I lay there, clenching my servos, I cast my processor back through millennia of confrontations with my hated enemy, through countless battles. Prime had always seemed to hold back, always sought a path that led to less bloodshed and casualties. Had always been willing to find a peaceful solution. But not today. Not this time. He was going to kill me. The sneer grew. I knew why Prime had fought so ruthlessly and was so determined to end my life. /Because of her! Phoenix/.
At first, I had thought she was just another casualty Prime was trying to avoid, one of his pathetic Autobot followers he was trying to save. But then I saw it. The way he looked at her and she at him. The look in is optics. There was genuine fear and hatred. Prime was truly scared he might lose her, and he was truly enraged at the thought of what I might do to her. /What I HAD already done to her!/.
The sneer faded to a small, knowing smile as I recognised the same motivation as to why Prime had acted the way he did. /The thought of being parted from her, of losing her was enough to send him over the edge, to act in a manner contrary to his usual actions/. Once more I sighed out loud, my blood red optics closing tightly as I tried to ignore the pain and shut out the flashes of her racing through my processor. /Perhaps, in part, that is why I had sought death?/. I would have been free from torture, the blinding pain inflicted by Unicron and perhaps equally so, the sweet agonising pain knowing she would never….
I shook my helm to banish the festering and ridiculous thought and yet, after everything I had done to her, when Prime had me before him, preparing to deal the killing blow, she defended me. She had reached out to me, saw in me something worth saving and forced Prime to spare my life. No one, Decepticon and especially not Autobot, save for perhaps Prime himself millennia ago, had viewed me in such a light for as long as I cared to remember. The thought was both at once pitiful and hopeful.
/Help us. Help me/. Her words. Her battered bleeding face haunted me when I closed my optics! I groaned both in physical pain and in turmoil as I tried to reconcile what I had discovered though the shattered glass of my own reflections with what I had thought I knew of myself. /This Phoenix. Knowingly or not, she had stirred something deep within me. Something I had thought long since lost and beyond redemption/. Though I dare not examine what that was and even more so why that was, I could not deny that when I chose to spare her life, a light, small and weak though it was, had pierced my black soul.
''Soundwave'', I called out to my loyal follower.
''Yes, Lord Megatron?'' He turned about to face me though maintained his vigil in the doorway.
''Send word to Optimus Prime and the Autobots that I shall be sending them two Decepticons the day after tomorrow to resume the search for the Star Saber. Remind them of our truce and its terms and send the following coordinates for Prime's Autobot emissaries.'' I sent him the necessary series of coordinates.
''As you wish Lord Megatron. Is there anything else you require?'' Soundwave bowed his helm.
I sent him a small smile of thanks and recognition. ''No Soundwave, my loyal follower. That is all.''
Soundwave nodded his helm and returned to his duty and sending the communique to the Autobots. ''So, we really are going to honour this truce Lord Megatron?'' Knockout ventured asking.
I frowned at him. ''For the time being we are Knockout, and I warn you to do the same.''
''Of course Lord Megatron, your word is law,'' his honeyed words irritated my audials. ''Ah, might I enquire which unfortunate Decepticons are going to be tasked with babysitting these Autobots on what has so far proven to be a wild goose chase?'' Knockout smirked down at me as he continued to make his repairs.
I fixed my ruby red optics on his and they shone brightly as an interesting thought coalesced in my processor. ''My dear Knockout I am so glad you asked.'' He paused in his work as he waited to hear what I had to say. ''I am sending Dirge.''
Knockout's optics lit up in mirth and he laughed, ''Oh wonderful choice Lord Megatron. He shall be thrilled. I do hope Prime sends Bumblebee along. Those two shall have so much to catch up on! Who else are you going to send? Surely not Soundwave,'' his optics flicked to the doorway. ''Perhaps Barricade or Onslaught..''
''You Knockout. I am going to send you.'' I watched in delight as my words registered in his audials and his look of pleasure morphed into one of horror and finally begrudging acceptance.
''As you wish Lord Megatron. I shall do my best to please you,'' though his words were pretty, his tone spoke of simmering hostility. /Just as I liked it/.
I chuckled as I once again closed my optics. ''I am sure you will Knockout, I am sure you will.''