Archive of Our Own

Buck hadn’t seen it coming.

The call started off innocent. An intoxicated man causing a disturbance in the park. A concerned passerby had called 911 when the man started to struggle to walk and groan in pain, clutching at his stomach. Athena was already on the scene when they got there, watching the man closely as he withered on the park bench he’d been sitting on.

It was all going well, all things considered. Hen and Chim were on either side of the man, taking his blood pressure, keeping an eye on his heart rate and doing a general check up, Bobby was trying, with great difficulty, to get any information he could from him and Buck and Eddie were keeping the crowd away. Eventually, Hen and Chim cleared him from any immediate danger and took an elbow each to hoist him into a standing position to walk him over to the truck.

No one knew what Buck did to anger him. Now there was no need for crowd control, he’d moved from Eddie’s side and stepped closer to Bobby, and therefore closer to the man, asking innocently what the next move was. Later on, they’d find out that it was because the man had mistaken Buck for someone else, somehow he really wasn’t happy with, but, at the time, the sudden agitation of the man came as a surprise as he started to twist in Hen and Chim’s grasp, causing them to drop his arms but keep close to his side, and hurl insults and profanities in Buck’s direction.

It all happened so fast. None of them had seen the knife the man had pulled from deep in his pocket. None of them really noticed as he lunged towards Buck, thinking he was just stumbling a little, and none of them fully realised what was happening until he was screaming and thrusting a knife into Buck’s side before taking off down the path.

Buck’s face paled. A sudden, blinding pain radiated through the right side of his body, shooting through his abdomen and up to his chest, the pain so strong he started to buckle at the knees. Automatically, his hand flew to his side, pressing against the wound that was already covering his side with blood. What the fuck just happened?

Eddie screamed his name, and around him, chaos erupted. Athena was on the tail of the man in an instant, shouting at him to stop where he was and put up his hands, Bobby was shouting for Hen and Chim to help him, and Hen and Chim started yelling instructions back and forth to each other as they pulled additional equipment out of the truck and rushed towards Buck. Eddie followed them, his hand firm on Buck’s shoulder as he helped lower him to the ground.

“Buck, Buck,” Eddie let out, breathless with worry. “Buck, are you alright?” The question was futile, but Eddie didn’t care as his hands frantically ran down Buck’s body in search of further injury, despite Hen and Chim moving around him. Eventually, he settled over Buck’s wound, lifting his hand and replacing it with his own. Instantaneously, blood started to seep through the gaps in Eddie’s fingers, and the sight made him feel nauseous. That was Buck’s blood.  

Buck tore his eyes away from where Hen was attaching ECG dots to his chest and looked up at him through glassy, confused eyes. “Eddie,” He sighed, a frown etched on his face. “It hurts. What happened?”

Eddie’s heart squeezed in his chest, tears welling up in his eyes at the pained groan Buck let out when he pressed down harder on the wound. “You’ve been stabbed, the guy we were helping had a knife. But it’s okay,” He was quick to reassure, noticing the look of panic on Buck’s pale face. “We’ll fix it. We’ll keep you safe. You’re gonna be fine.” Eddie wasn’t entirely sure whether he was comforting Buck or himself.

Buck seemed to believe him, however, because the slightest smile spread across his face before it convulsed again. “I know,” Buck said through his teeth. “You’ve got my back.”

Eddie nodded, staring deep into Buck’s eyes. “Always.”

“His blood pressure is already dropping,” Hen yelled to Chim, frantically pulling out more equipment from her bag. “Keep an eye on his pulse!”

“Pulse is there but it’s weakening and thready. Eddie, whatever you do, keep him awake,” Chim ordered. 

Eddie nodded grimly and Buck sighed again. Weakly, he reached up and tugged on Eddie’s sleeve. “Eddie, I don’t feel great.”

“I know, I know mi corazón.” Choosing to ignore the pet name that slipped from his mouth, Eddie took one of his hands off Buck's abdomen, pressed down harder again with the other, and took his hand in his own, squeezing his fingers comfortingly. “We’ll fix it, you’ll be okay.”

“I feel really dizzy,” Buck whispered. 

Eddie looked to Chim with wide, panicked eyes, all medical knowledge he had suddenly thrown out the window as he watched Buck in pain, his mind reduced to nothing but a frantic loop of anxiety. “He’s going into shock,” Chim said. “Bobby, get me a shock blanket from the truck, we need to keep him warm.”

Bobby, who had been hovering over the group anxiously, nodded and ran to the truck, and Eddie kept his eyes firmly on Buck, watching, waiting, for any sign of deterioration. Bobby threw the blanket and Chim caught it, passing one side to Eddie so he could help him wrap it around Buck’s shoulders. “There you are, you’ll start to feel better soon.”

Buck nodded slowly. “It’s cold.”

Normally, Eddie prided himself on being calm whilst out on a call. He never panicked. It took a lot to make him anxious whilst in the middle of the job. After? Sure, when the adrenaline dropped then he’d feel a little sick, maybe get the shakes if it was a really bad one, but while out in the field, he kept a level head. He did what he needed to do, and he did it calmly. It was what made him such a good medic. He was able to do whatever was needed of him with a steady hand whilst also keeping everyone around him calm as well.

But watching Buck in pain, all of that was thrown out the window. Any sense of calmness he had disappeared the second he lowered Buck to the floor, the moment blood started leaking from his side. It was quite possible he was on the way to becoming hysterical. He looked at people in similar situations to Buck every day and had seen so much worse both in the army and as a paramedic, but this was Buck. His Buck. How was he supposed to handle this?

“I know, but the blanket will warm you up in no time,” Eddie promised weakly, trying to look reassuring. Remembering Chim’s words to keep Buck awake, and watching as more and more energy drained out of Buck’s body, he began to rack his mind for something to keep him occupied. “Hey, Buck, I’m not supposed to be telling you this, but Christopher has been working really hard on a surprise for you.”

At that, Buck managed to perk up a little, a tiny bit of light coming back to his eyes. “He is?”

“Yeah, yeah he is,” Eddie laughed sadly. “You can’t tell him I told you this, okay? It’s for your birthday. I can’t tell you what it is, obviously, but he’s been working on it at school and he’s so proud of it. He can’t wait to show you. He talks about it whenever you aren’t around. It’s honestly a wonder he hasn’t given it away yet.”

Buck smiled at him before a cough bubbled up from his lungs and he groaned in pain again, turning his head away from the oxygen mask Hen was trying to put over his face like a toddler trying to resist vegetables. “Eddie, can you do me a favour?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Can you tell Christopher that I love him?”

This time, it was Eddie’s face paling, and he felt his heart drop in his chest at the implications of Buck’s words and the grim look on Hen’s face when she made ey contact with him over Buck's body. “What… what do you mean?”

“Tell Christopher that I love him, please? Just in case I can’t.” The lights of the trucks were starting to blur into each other, hues of red and blue becoming nothing but blobs of light as Buck’s eyes became fuzzy and he fought to focus on Eddie, and he knew that it wasn’t going to be long until he passed out. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could fight it.

Buck was terrified. The pain was radiating through his body, and if he wasn’t so afraid, and if he didn’t know what Eddie was doing was saving his life, he’d be pushing him away to save himself from the agony. The world was spinning, which wasn’t doing anything to help the nausea that had started as soon as the pain did, and his focus was starting to dwindle. He didn’t want to leave Eddie, he didn’t want to leave Chris. He didn’t want to leave his family.

“No, Evan, you can tell him yourself. You will tell him yourself.” Eddie prayed that Buck couldn’t see the tears in his eyes and the lump in his throat as he spoke, didn’t notice the trembling in his hands even as it pressed into his stomach and held Buck's (but knowing Buck, he would).

Buck shifted uncomfortably. “Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m getting tired.”

Slowly, Buck’s eyes began to droop closed, and a jolt of panic ran through Eddie’s body. “No, no, no, Evan Buckley! Don’t you dare close your eyes, you hear me?” Eddie knew he was becoming hysterical now, but watching the life slip from Buck’s body was enough to send him into a frenzy. “Look at me. Open those beautiful eyes and look at me!”

Buck forced his eyes open, hoping it was enough to take the pain and panic out of Eddie’s voice. His eyelids were heavy, but Eddie was clicking his fingers in front of his eyes frantically, having let go of his hand, which was enough for him to start to blink at him slowly. “Eddie…” He sighed dejectedly, reaching up with a shaking hand to grab his wrist, stilling his movements. 

“No, Buck, you need to stay awake!” Eddie yelled to him desperately. “Keep your eyes open. Just look at me. Keep your eyes on me!”

“Eddie, I can’t stay awake anymore.” He was tired, so, so tired, and although he knew that closing his eyes was possibly the worst idea he’d ever had, his eyes were heavy and impossible to keep open for much longer.

“Yes you can Buck, you can!” Eddie told him. Chim had nudged him out of the way to replace him in putting pressure on Buck’s wound, noticing that, as Eddie grew more and more panicked, his force had weakened. Eddie moved to kneel at Buck’s side instead of over him, his blood-soaked hands gripping hopelessly at Buck’s stained shirt.  “Just look at me. Right at me. It’s gonna be okay, just keep your eyes open!”

“Eddie…”

“Evan, please!” Eddie begged, finally letting out a sob. “Please, you can’t close your eyes! Don’t do this to me!”

Finally, Buck stopped resisting the oxygen mask and let Hen put it over his face, his breath starting to falter as the pain increased and his pulse continued to lessen. Carefully, Buck reached for one of Eddie’s hands and squeezed weakly, trying to be reassuring as he smiled slightly through the green mask.

Eddie wasn’t comforted. The weakness in his grasp, usually so strong, was breaking his heart even further. “Evan, you can’t close your eyes, you hear me? Just stay strong, stay with me. The team can’t live without you, Chris can’t live without you, I can’t live without you! You have to stay awake!”

Buck shook his head weakly, and Eddie shook his head right back, tears pouring down his cheeks. Hen had run to get the gurney from the truck, and Chim was desperately trying to wrap gauze around Buck’s wound one-handed. Looking down at Buck, so close to closing his eyes again, Eddie knew what he had to do. His heart pounding, Eddie brought up their joint hands up to his chest, holding them over his heart, mindless to the blood continuing to soak his uniform.

“Evan, mi amor, you need to listen to me, okay? Are you listening?” When Buck nodded, his head hardly moving, and locked eyes with Eddie, he took it as his cue to continue. “I love you. I love you so much. I’ve loved you since we first met, since the ambulance, since I told you that you can have my back. I’m so sorry I haven’t told you this before now, but I was so scared of losing what we have that I kept quiet, and maybe that makes me selfish, but the risk of losing you crushes me, whether that be because of my own stupidity or literally losing you to a fucking stab wound . You’re my everything, you know that?” Buck stared up at him, his eyes unfocused, and Eddie sobbed harder. “You’re my best friend, my co-parent, my partner, mine and Chris’ favourite person, and I love you so, so much. So you need to stay awake for me, okay? Because I can’t lose you .”

Eddie barely caught Buck’s smile before his eyes were slipping shut, his breathing faltering as he finally fell into unconsciousness, and Eddie cried when Buck’s hand went limp in his own.

It had been a long time since Hen had cried at a scene, but watching Eddie break down over Buck’s lifeless body was enough to send tears pricking in her eyes as she wheeled over the gurney. “Alright, we really need to get him to the hospital.”

Bobby moved to sit beside Eddie and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, moving him so he wasn’t looking at Buck, subtly wiping his eyes as he did so. “Come on, we’ll take the truck back and then Athena will drive us to the hospital.” 

Eddie shook his head instantly and looked up at Hen with wide, panicked eyes, shrugging off Bobby’s hold. “Can’t I go with you?”

Hen looked reluctant and shared a worried, tearful look with Bobby. “Eddie…”

“No. Please. I want to go with him. You can’t take him away from me,” Eddie hissed to Hen, holding Buck’s hand tighter, more protectively. There was no way he was letting Buck out of his sight. The ‘what ifs’ were too much. What if something happened to Buck on the way over and Eddie wasn’t there to help? To say goodbye? “I’m a medic too, so don’t give me that “not enough room” speech. I can help you.” 

“Not like this you can’t,” Chim added with pointed concern. “You’re in too much of a state. You’re shaking and covered in blood. You won’t be any help and you know it.” Maybe his words were harsh, but he knew that the only way he’d get through to Eddie now was with tough love. His own heart was pounding in his chest, both in concern for his friend and the knowledge that he’d more than likely be the one who would have to ring Maddie. He wasn’t sure how much help he’d be to Hen himself, not with the anxiety swirling in his stomach.

“Chim…”

Hen gave him a weary look. “Eddie, we don’t have time for this. Buck doesn’t have time for this. I know this is hard for you, but you have to go with Bobby. Please. ”

Eddie took a deep breath and dragged his hands down his face. Deep down, he knew Hen and Chim were right. There was no way he’d be any help to them in the back of the truck, and as Buck grew paler and paler, he knew there wasn’t any time to waste. “Okay. Okay, fine.” Eddie lifted their joint hands to his lips and kissed Buck’s knuckles, eyes drifting shut as more tears dripped down his cheeks. “Don’t worry querido, I’ll be right there, I promise. You just need to stay alive for me, alright? I love you.”

There wasn’t a dry eye between them as Hen and Chim loaded Buck onto the gurney and into the ambulance, leaving Bobby and Eddie on the hard, concrete ground watching as the ambulance pulled away in stifling silence.  Eddie let out a pained breath when the ambulance left his sight, his hands shaking and stomach swirling. Bobby looked at him and sighed, tears continuing to drip down his face. “Come on,” He said, clearing his throat to hide the thick lump of emotion lodged there. “Let's go back to the station. Hen will call us when they take Buck in.”

Eddie nodded weakly, and standing on shaking legs, followed Bobby to the truck.

**

When Bobby and Eddie arrived at the hospital, Athena, Hen and Chim were already sitting in the waiting room. They hadn’t waited for Hen’s call, both too anxious to wait a moment longer. All of them were still in their turnout gear, none wanting to waste any time by changing when they could be waiting for Buck, and were sitting side by side in the waiting room, legs bouncing.

Despite having washed his hands free from most of the mess before he left the station, Buck’s blood was still caked under Eddie’s fingernails and was covering his turnout gear. The sight of it made him feel sick, a reminder that his Buck was somewhere behind the doors of the emergency department in a world of pain. He put his head in his hands and sighed, willing himself not to start breaking down again in the middle of the waiting room.  

Chim nudged Eddie with his elbow and gave him a tight-lipped smile. “You alright?”

Eddie shrugged and sat back in his chair, letting himself sink into the uncomfortable vinyl. “How can I be?” He tried not to think of him on an operating table somewhere deep in the hospital, cut open, more blood coming out of his poor body. His hands shook harder. The thought of a world without Buck wasn’t a pleasant one. How was he meant to handle it if it became a reality?

“You sent both Hen and I to tears with your little speech,” Chim chuckled humorlessly. “We basically cried the whole way here.” Chim could hardly see the road through the tears in his eyes as he weaved through traffic on the way to the hospital, and as soon as Buck had been passed off to the awaiting doctors and nurses, Hen had turned to him with tears streaming down her cheeks, her face crumbling as she finally allowed herself to cry.

Eddie took a deep breath that came up short as tears welled up again. “I love him. What am I meant to do without him?”

“You’re not going to find out,” Chim promised, a comforting hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “He’s strong, he’s stubborn as hell. He’s gonna fight tooth and nail to come back to you. To all of us.”

Eddie nodded shakily. He hoped more than anything that Chim was right. “Did you ring Maddie?”

“Yeah, I did. They’re short staffed so she can’t get out of work but she’ll be here as soon as she can. She’s freaking out. I could hear her begging her boss to leave but, what can you do?”

Eddie didn’t say anything else. He knew there was more to the story, but he didn't question Chim's words. He just sunk further into his chair and closed his eyes.

The more time went on without any news from a doctor, the more anxious the team become. Maddie had arrived the second she’d gotten out of work, dishevelled as she ran into the emergency department waiting room and straight into Chim’s awaiting arms. Bobby started to pace up and down in the space in front of their chairs soon after she arrived, his own anxiety quickly catching up to him the longer they went without any updates. Chim was trying to comfort a devastated Maddie, who was hardly listening to him as he promised they did everything they could to keep him stable, that he, Eddie and Hen had worked as hard as they could. Hen’s leg was bouncing up and down as she whispered back and forth with Athena, her eyes flicking to the doors in the corner every few seconds as if she could will the doctor to appear and tell them something, and Athena was just trying to remain calm, taking long, deep breaths to try and keep herself level headed. For her husband, for her friends, for Buck. 

Eddie had long since gone quiet, staring numbly at his hands as he sat hunched over his knees. The adrenaline had settled, replaced instead with nauseating anxiety and concern. He couldn’t breathe, and he wasn’t entirely sure he was going to until he heard any news of Buck’s condition. Like Hen, he kept glancing up at the doors, growing increasingly more frustrated and worried as no one came to talk to them. “Why haven’t we gotten any news yet?” He asked weakly. “How long has he been back there?”

Bobby stopped his pacing in front of Eddie and placed both hands on his shoulders, trying his best to give him a comforting smile. “He’s in good hands, Eddie. We just have to trust that the doctors are doing all they can to help him.”

“We don’t know the extent of the damage either,” Hen added. “It could be minor surgery to sew him back up, or they could be repairing organs. We don’t know.”

No. They didn’t know, and that was the worst part. The waiting game was a game that kept on going, and the longer it went, the more restless they all became. None of them were ever particularly good at waiting. “I guess so.”

“Family of Evan Buckley?” Finally, finally , the doors swung open and out stepped a doctor, clipboard clutched to his chest. Eddie shot out of his seat, the others quickly following behind him. 

“Yes, that’s us,” Eddie said breathlessly. “Is Buck okay? What’s the damage? Will he be alright?”

“All things considered, Mr Buckley is extremely lucky. The weapon knicked one of the visceral arteries in his abdomen, which was enough to cause some major bleeding but not deep enough to fully pierce it and therefore damage was minimal. Miraculously, all his other organs were unharmed, which, due to the nature of the injury, is very surprising. During surgery, we added two sutures to his artery to close the wound and closed the exterior wound with more. He’s been moved to the surgical short-stay ward where he’s receiving a blood transfusion to replace what he lost and he should wake from the general anesthetic within the next few hours.”

“So… so Buck’s okay?” Maddie asked carefully, reaching for Chim’s hand and squeezing it in her own. Chim gave her a comforting, relieved smile and squeezed back, happiness flooding through them at the news.

“He will be. He may experience some fatigue and other side effects from the loss of blood such as confusion, general weakness and rapid breathing, and may experience some side effects from the general anaesthetic. He’ll have some abdominal pain while the wound heals, but he will make a full recovery.”

Buck was okay. Eddie felt his knees go weak for the second time that day, though this time from sheer relief and the overwhelming wave of emotion that rushed over him at the news. Hen was quick to catch him, wrapping her arm firmly around his shoulders, and Eddie burst into another round of tears. Buck was okay.

Bobby cleared his throat and shook the doctor’s hand. “Thank you so much, doctor. Thank you.”

The doctor smiled at them all. “It was my pleasure, I can tell he’s a well-loved member of your family. He can have visitors, only two at a time until he wakes up, but once the anaesthetic wears off and he’s checked over by a nurse you may all go, as long as you don't overwhelm him or get in the way of staff. I wish you and Mr Buckley all the best.”

Each of them thanked the doctor again before he left, each of them teary with relief and gratitude, and Maddie turned to Eddie with an expectant smile. “Come on, let's go see him.”

The walk to Buck’s room was silent, other than the list of directions Maddie whispered to herself as they made their way through the maze that was the hospital. Eddie was too overwhelmed to speak. Buck was okay. All this considered, his injuries were minor. He would wake up in a few hours, and Eddie could look into his eyes and see his smile and hear his voice. He could see for himself that Buck was alright. That’s all that mattered to him now.

Maddie led the rest of the way to Buck’s room, Eddie trailing behind slowly, nervously, and froze in the doorway when she caught sight of her brother, covering her mouth with a shaking hand. Eddie came up beside her and squeezed her arm. Buck was pale, almost as white as the sheets he was laying on, he had IV cannulas coming out of his arms and an oxygen mask over his face, and he looked uncharacteristically small in the hospital bed, but somehow, he looked better. At least to Eddie. To Maddie, he probably looked awful. She and Eddie sat in the chairs on either side of Buck’s bed, and Eddie instantly reached for Buck’s hand, pressing his lips against his fingers. “Hi baby,” He whispered into his skin. “Told you I’d be right here, didn’t I?”

Maddie looked at Eddie fondly and smiled, shaking her head slightly. “Chim told me what happened, what you said.”

Eddie lifted his eyes. “Oh.” 

“It’s not a bad thing,” Maddie rushed to reassure, taking Buck’s other hand in her own. “I’m really glad someone like you loves my brother. He deserves to be happy, and you already make him happier than I’ve ever seen him, I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going to be like once you start dating.”

“We don’t know whether he feels the same,” Eddie protested. There were times he was sure his feelings were reciprocated, like when Buck would give him that same smile he gave the girls he used to date, or when he would hug him particularly tight and not let go until someone said something, or when Eddie caught him staring when he thought he wasn’t looking, but then something would go and happen, and Buck would feel even further away than he was before, leaving Eddie right back at square one. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, no matter what Maddie said.

“Oh please,” Maddie said incredulously. “He feels the same, trust me. You’re all he talks about, you and Chris. He’s been obsessed with you since the minute you walked into the firehouse. It’s always Eddie this and Eddie that . It gets annoying sometimes. I mean, I love you and all, but seriously.”

“Has he actually said he feels the same though?”

“He doesn’t need to,” Maddie insisted, rolling her eyes. “He’s painfully obvious. You and Chris are literally his phone background. I just can’t believe it took him getting stabbed for you two to maybe get your shit together.”

Eddie hoped more than anything that Maddie was right because if she wasn’t, he wasn’t entirely sure what would happen. He’d just told his best friend that he loved him, basically poured his heart and soul out to him, and yes , it was a matter of life or death, but that didn’t mean Buck wasn’t going to freak out on him and possibly hate him forever if he didn’t feel the same.

“Do you really think he feels the same?” The hope in his voice was obvious, and Maddie gave him a sad smile.

“I know he does. He’s probably just scared to tell you because he’s afraid to lose you.” Eddie knew that feeling . “Eddie, nothing means more to Buck than you and your son. He’d never willingly do something to jeopardise that, even if it means he has to repress his feelings until the day he dies.”

Eddie took a shaky breath and nodded. The day Buck died could’ve been today, it wasn’t , but it could’ve been. That enough was motivation to Eddie to make sure whatever dance they were both doing around their feelings ended today. If Maddie was right, if Buck really did feel that way about him, then he wasn’t about to wait a moment longer. “Okay.”

They didn’t say anything after that, sitting in silence as they held Buck’s hands and watched him breathe. It took another hour for him to wake up, groaning as he forced his eyes open. 

“Maddie?” Buck choked, his voice hoarse and painful. He rubbed his eyes slowly, wincing as he accidentally pulled on the IV in his hand, and blinked up at his sister, trying to adjust to the light. When had Maddie gotten there? Who had called her? He hoped more than anything that whoever did, he assumed Chim, spared her the details. He didn’t really want his sister to listen to the way he was stabbed

“Hey, hey Evan,” Maddie smiled, emotion thick in her voice. “I’m going to need to start wrapping you up in bubble wrap. This is getting ridiculous now.”

Buck winced. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Maddie stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. Now that Buck was awake, the emotion that had calmed down when she found out Buck was okay was starting to come back. Now she knew he was really, truly okay.

Buck hummed and snuggled back into the thin, hospital pillow. Despite the pain medication being pumped into his body by one of the many IVs, he felt a niggling of pain in his side, just enough to make him uncomfortable. “Ouch,” he whispered to no one in particular.

Maddie chuckled. “Look who else is here,” She prompted, nudging Buck until ever so slowly, he turned his head to the other side of the bed. Upon seeing Eddie, his face lit up instantly, a sleepy smile spreading across his face. Finally registering that someone else was holding his hand, Buck squeezed Eddie’s fingers, and Eddie squeezed back with a watery laugh. 

“Eddie,” Buck sighed. “You’re here.”

“Of course, I’m here,” Eddie swallowed thickly. “I promised I would be.”

"You did?" Buck racked his brain for memory of what Eddie said when he was on the ground, his thoughts hazy and not quite coherent. He had an uncertain feeling that he was missing something important, but his brain was so fuzzy that, even if he had a clear memory of what happened before he passed out, the anaesthetic was enough to wipe it out.

"To your unconscious body, yes," Eddie said. "I'm so happy you're okay."

Buck smiled slightly, before, as a wave of emotion overcame him, his lip began to quiver and his eyes began to water, tears starting to drop down his face. He could've died today. There was a chance he'd never see Eddie's beautiful face again, there was a chance he'd never get to see Chris's smile, or hear Maddie's voice as she teased him. He could have left his family at the 118, Bobby and Athena, Hen and Chim. But he was okay. He didn't leave them. He'd see all those things again.

"Oh, Evan."

“Sorry, sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s probably just the anaesthetic.” Buck frantically started to wipe away his tears despite the tugging of the IV, only stopping when Eddie reached out and wiped the tears away himself, his hands gentle as he cupped Buck’s face. 

“Don’t be silly, querido, you’re allowed to be emotional,” Eddie said tenderly. “You’ve been through a lot today. I’ve cried more than I care to think about.” Hands not moving from Buck's face, Eddie gave him a comforting smile, and Buck forced a smile back, small and almost pained.

Maddie took that as her cue to leave, slipping out of her chair and to the door without a word.

"Are you in any pain?"

Buck shrugged, reaching up to hold Eddie's wrist in place, the feeling of his skin on his endlessly comforting. "Not really, a little. It's more uncomfortable than anything."

"You'll tell me if it gets worse, won't you?" Normally, Eddie wouldn't say anything about Buck's habits of brushing over his pain, because it would be grossly hypocritical if he did, but now, he wasn't going to let it fly. Not after almost losing him, again.

"Sure." Buck took a deep breath and dropped Eddie's wrist, flexing his fingers until Eddie held his hand again. "What happened out there? After I was stabbed?"

Eddie sighed. “We got you on the floor and Hen and Chim started sorting you out. I kept pressure on your wound until I got too upset to. You went into shock, that’s when I began to panic, so Bobby got you a blanket. You didn’t too last too long after that, you passed out pretty quickly. The knife nicked one of your arteries apparently, just not enough to kill you.” Eddie wasn’t sure whether leaving out the whole love confession thing was a good idea or not. On one hand, he wanted Buck to know, but on the other, he didn’t want to freak him out, not when he was in such a vulnerable state. “You told me to tell Chris you love him, which, you arsehole, never put me through that again. Hen and Chim took you and Cap drove me-”

The memory of what happened while he was on the ground washed over him at Eddie’s reminder, and Buck gasped, his eyes widening. Eddie, hovering over him, pressing his hand into his stomach. Eddie holding his hand once Chim took over staunching the blood. Eddie crying, begging him to stay awake. Eddie… telling him he loved him? Was he remembering that right?

Eddie…loved him?

“Did you mean what you said?” Buck asked suddenly, effectively cutting Eddie off. “When I was down?” Buck’s heart was pounding in his chest at the thought, much to the dismay of the heart monitor attached to his finger. Eddie, loving him? As much as he wanted it, he hadn’t even allowed himself to consider it before now, assuming his feelings were entirely unrequited, and even now, despite finally remembering hearing the words “I love you” come out of Eddie’s mouth, he was apprehensive. Had he only said what he did to keep him alert and awake?

Buck wanted nothing more than Eddie. He’d wanted him since the second he laid eyes on him with his shirt off and erotic images starting popping into his head. And for Eddie to want that too? Maybe he hadn’t woken up. Maybe this was all just a dream.

Eddie looked and Buck earnestly and took a deep breath. Now he remembered, or at least some of it, this was it. It was now or never. There was no going back after this. “How much do you remember?”

“You said you loved me. You were crying and you said that you’ve loved me since we met. That I’m everything.” The thought made him feel fuzzy. The good kind of fuzzy, with butterflies and giddiness, not at all like the fuzzy the anaesthetic made him feel.

“I meant every word, Buck. And I guess this isn’t the best time to do this, and it definitely wasn’t then, but I was so afraid that I’d lose you today, and I couldn’t handle you not knowing. And now you’re awake, I can’t go a moment longer without you hearing the truth. Because you could die tomorrow, or I could die tomorrow, and I’m not going to keep it a secret anymore. I love you, even if you don’t feel the same.”

“Fuck, Eddie, how could I not feel the same? You’re all I’ve ever wanted but…” Buck trailed off. “Why me?” Feeling the insecurity running through his veins, Buck looked down at their joint hands and sighed. He couldn’t help it. Loving Eddie was easy. Everybody loved Eddie. He was sweet, caring, protective, a fantastic dad, and, to top it all off, hot as fuck. But him? What could someone like Eddie possibly see in him?

“Why you what?”

“Why do you love me ? I’m sure there’s someone out there better for you than me.” And there he went again, pushing people away. Eddie was within arms reach, so, so close, and yet, he was pushing him away.

“You’re kidding me, right?” When he shook his head, Eddie let go of his hand, and Buck felt a surge of panic run through him, terrified Eddie was going to get up and walk out the door. Eddie did no such thing, instead reaching out to cup his face once more, cradling his cheeks in his hands like he was the most precious thing in the world, forcing him to look deep into his eyes. “Because, Evan, there’s no one in this world better for me than you. Your smile is almost enough to send me into cardiac arrest, but it also lights up my day every single time you send one in my direction. You’re kind, you’re selfless, probably too selfless, and you’re so loving. You’re the best co-parent a guy could ask for, watching you and Christopher together basically turns me into a puddle. You’re so patient with me, and with Chris, and you’re so charming. You’re my best friend, you understand me like no one else does, you’re so fucking pretty-”

Noticing the flame of Buck’s cheeks under his hands and seeing the shine of unhashed tears in his eyes, Eddie smiled knowingly. “Do I need to continue or do you believe why I love you now?”

Buck shook his head, his cheeks comfortingly pillowed by Eddie’s hands. “No, no, I… I believe you.” Buck let out a watery laugh before continuing. “I love you too. You’re so perfect, you’re all I’ve ever wanted. You make me so happy Eddie. No one makes me happier than you, except maybe your son. All those things you said about me are exactly how I feel about you and… fuck, I can’t believe you love me.”

“Of course I love you, you insufferable idiot!” Eddie laughed, thumbs moving from the apples of Buck’s cheeks to trace the lines of his lips. “Can I kiss you, baby?”

“Yes, of course.” Smiling slightly, Eddie leaned in and ever so slowly pressed his lips against Buck’s. The kiss was everything Buck could have imagined it being, slow, sweet, yet desperate enough that kept him wanting more. He felt like he was on cloud nine.

Eddie smiled into the kiss, his own cheeks starting to warm as he felt a surge of happiness. Moving to pull away, Eddie thumbed tenderly at Buck’s cheeks, but Buck wasn’t having any of it as he chased his lips, leaning over himself to remain in his embrace. Eddie indulged him, pressing his lips more firmly against Buck's until he whimpered, making Eddie pull back.

That wasn't a good whimper, that was a pained one. "Buck?"

Buck took a deep breath through his teeth, leaning back against the pillows with a protective hand ghosting over his wound. "That hurt," Buck chuckled humorlessly. "Ouch."

Eddie shook his head fondly. "You're an idiot," he sighed, taking Buck's hand back in his own. "Do you need me to get the nurse?"

"No, I'm okay." At Eddie's stern look, Buck grinned. "I promise I'm not lying, it's gone now, have a little faith in me!"

"Okay, okay!" Eddie put his hands up in surrender. "I love you."

Buck's smile was blinding. "I love you too."

They sat together, talking quietly until the nurse came around to check Buck's vitals and check his wound, essentially kicking Eddie out with a kind yet stern smile while she was at it. 

"Do you have to go?" Buck asked, a full-blown pout on his face, the puppy dog eyes out full force. 

"I'm afraid I do, querido," Eddie said, trying hard to pretend like the look on Buck's face wasn’t convincing him to stay as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, lips moving to hover over his birthmark. “Cap and Athena are in the waiting room, in full parent mode by the way, so I’m sure they’d love to see you. And, hey, maybe I can go pick up the son you apparently love more than me so he can see you too.” Eddie knew that the second Christopher found out that Buck was injured and in hospital, he’d be demanding to see him anyway. May as well kill two birds with one stone.

Buck blushed at his words. “Well, when you put it like that…” he trailed off before adding another quick “I love you.” Saying it just because he could now, Buck felt giddy and titled his head up for another kiss, because he can do that now too, and amplified his pout until Eddie indulged him once more.

“I love you too,” He said when he pulled away. “But I really gotta go, before your ‘parents’ burst in.” Eddie walked to the door, barely resisting the urge to turn himself around and go right back to Buck. He wasn’t sure he was prepared to let him out of his sight, not now he knew he was safe and well, but deep down, he knew if Bobby and Athena were coming to see him, they could protect him if it came down to it. Keep him safe.

“Hey Eds,” Buck called before Eddie was able to leave the room, smiling when he stopped at the door and turned to face him. 

“Yeah?”

Suddenly feeling shy under his gaze, Buck’s face flamed and he began to fiddle with his hands. “Does this mean we’re boyfriends?”

Eddie smiled. “I mean, I’d like to take you out and properly woo you, but, yeah. Boyfriends. Definitely, if that’s what you want too.”

Buck’s smile was comparable to the sun. “Yes, please. Boyfriend .” 

The fondness on Eddie’s face was unmatched as he smiled back at Buck. His heart was pounding with excitement and happiness, his cheeks sore with how big his smile was. Buck was his, and he’d never, ever let him go. 

“Alright you two, break it up.” With a knowing look on her face, Athena nudged past Eddie and into the room, tired of waiting out in the hall, and Bobby trailed in behind her. She looked at Buck with a weary smile. “You really need to stop doing this, you’re going to give us both grey hair.”

Buck gave her a guilty wince. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Athena hugged him tightly, resting her head against his. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.”

“We were so worried kid,” Bobby added, moving to wrap their arms around the both of them. “Please, never do that again.”

“But I’m okay now, I promise.”

Eddie watched from the doorway, glad to see Buck safe and protected. “Will you be okay if I leave? I’ll come right back, I’ll just go get Christopher and I’ll be here.”

Buck nodded, comforted by the fact that, in Eddie’s absence, Bobby and Athena would be right there. He wouldn’t be alone. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. I love you.” Bobby and Athena shared a look over Buck’s head. It was only a matter of time.

“I love you too.” Eddie blew him a kiss before leaving the room, only just catching the one Buck blew back.

Now alone with Bobby and Athena, Buck settled down against the pillows and smiled to himself dopily as they moved to sit in the chairs beside him. “You love him, do you?” Bobby asked, a proud yet equally teasing smile on his face.

Buck squirmed under the looks of his faux parents and grinned. “Yeah, I do.”

When Eddie came back, not much more than an hour later, Chris and the rest of the 118 in tow, the first thing he did was walk to Buck’s bedside in three long strides and pressed a long kiss to his lips, pulling away with a cheeky grin. Chris giggled in delight, glad that his dad and Buck finally got their acts together, and clambered up onto Buck’s bed, with some help from Bobby, snuggling into his side, happy to see his Buck okay.

Hugs were exchanged all around, Buck receiving stern orders from all of them to never scare them again, all equally as thankful that he was okay, and they all admired him as he basked in the attention of Eddie and Chris, seemingly happier than ever.

(And if Hen and Chim secretly exchanged money, just out of view of Buck and Eddie, then, well, that was neither here nor there).