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“Scott, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”
“Sorry, what?” Scott looked up from the goods in front of him, the green and yellow dyes he was supposed to sell to Joel. He had been weighing the powders mindlessly and hadn’t noticed Joel had even said anything to begin with.
“So the party in Sanctuary truly was as wild as Sausage told me then, alright,” Joel answered with a mischievous grin and all Scott could do was roll his eyes. He had been to the party, of course he had, but he had left quite early. Earlier than he normally would at least, he just wasn’t in the mood for a party. Not after what had happened earlier in the week between him and Jimmy. He couldn’t tell Joel about it, he wouldn’t understand. Not because he wouldn’t care of whatever, but just because he couldn’t remember. He had no idea about what happened and it was better if he never knew.
“The next time I will be there,” Joel continued as Scott bundled the dyes and once again made sure he didn’t give Joel too much. Sure, he was his neighbor and they got along perfectly fine but that didn’t mean he would be giving his wares away for free. “I won’t miss another one of his performances.”
Scott snorted at that and shook his head. Sausage was notorious for the shows he organized in his tavern and many people traveled to Sanctuary to be able to witness them. Scott had to admit, Sausage was good. If he could help it, he wouldn’t mis a night himself.
“I am sure he will keep you posted on the next show,” Scott assured him as they exited the wagon Scott stored his dye’s in. Joel had put in his order a couple of days ago, which was nice because that meant Scott had had plenty of time to prepare them. As usual, Joel needed a ludicrous amount. Scott could only hope the next building he was working on didn’t encroach any further on his land, because despite most of it being so high in the sky, Stratos was coming ever closer.
“He better does,” Joel said. The quartz he had traded for Scott’s dye’s still sat in the shulkerbox outside the wagon. Scott didn’t have an immediate use for it, he barely even used it in his buildings but if he ever decided to build another fountain he’d have the quartz ready. “He’ll regret it if he doesn’t.”
“Very threatening,” Scott said with a grin. Whatever Joel and Sausage had going on was very interesting and it was cause for a lot of gossip, which Scott always appreciated. “He loves that and you know it.”
“Oh, yes I do,” Joel laughed. “You have no idea – who is that?”
Joel put his arm in front of Scott to stop him in his walk, almost as if wanting to protect him from danger. It surprised Scott, his mind instantly going to the countless times they had stood opposite of each other with swords in hand. The amount of times Scott had ended Joels life, how annoyed and irritated he had been because of it. It felt weird that Joel now felt any need to protect Scott.
But, of course, for Joel it was as if nothing of that had ever happened.
Joel had stopped him because of the figure that was standing near the central fountain. Scott wouldn’t have noticed them if Joel hadn’t, probably. Unlike Joel, Scott recognized his guest quickly. The blue jeans with red sand stains on them, the even dirtier white blouse under the brown jacket. Most recognizable of all was that old hat of his, with his blond hair sticking out from under it.
“Jimmy?” Joel said in utter surprise as it took him a bit longer to realize it was his friend. Or… enemy, something in between, Scott wasn’t quite sure where they stood nowadays.
“Oh,” in a swift motion, Jimmy moved his hand behind his back as if he was hiding something. “Hi Joel.”
He tried to play it casual and Scott could see it. The small innocent smile, the way he tried folding his brand new and shining wings behind his back to make them disappear. They were way too big for that, the last time Scott had seen Jimmy he hadn’t quite fathomed their size. Despite everybody always joking about his height, Jimmy was a big lad and the wings crested over his head.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Joel managed to say. Surprise and confusion was written all over his face, which was nothing but understandable. Scott noticed Jimmy biting his lip and trying to take a step backwards, which made him bump into the edge of the fountain ever so slightly. He had clearly not anticipated for Scott to already have company.
“I’ve been busy,” Jimmy said with a slight waver in his voice. “I, eh, I’ve come to talk to Scott.”
“Wait, you can’t just say ‘busy’ and not even mention you suddenly have wings!” Joel wouldn’t let himself get brushed of that easily, especially not by Jimmy. “Or are they part of the entire Sheriff charade now?”
It wasn’t out of character for Joel to ask it like this. He had always been direct, maybe even a bit abrasive at times. Jimmy knew that, Scott knew that, the entire Server knew to take whatever Joel said with a pinch of salt. Jimmy would always have a witty answer to those snarky comments, he could make Joel shut up if he wanted to. But now he stayed quiet, no quick response to such a question. He couldn’t explain Joel how he got the wings, there was no way he could possibly understand. It was better if he never found out at all.
“I thought you were in a hurry, Joel?” Scott thus said to try and get rid of his neighbor. “Your temples aren’t going to build themselves now, are they?”
“I mean I was in a hurry, yes, but – “
“Well?” Scott tried giving Joel the most meaningful look he could muster. The silent yet urgent message to get lost, without asking questions. Joel glanced from Jimmy to Scott and then back to Jimmy. He wanted to know what was going on, Scott knew it, and Jimmy did have to come up with some sort of lie to explain his sudden wings. But given the terrified reaction from Jimmy, Scott knew he hadn’t prepared any yet.
“Riight… I’ll leave you to it then,” Joel got some part of the message, the part that included you need to leave. “See you around, I guess…”
With that, Joel walked away, but not without shooting a final glance at Jimmy. Jimmy turned to keep facing Joel, which was the most pathetic attempt at trying to hide his wings. His hands where clasped behind his back, holding a small bouquet of red and white flowers. Jimmy squeezed the poor things so hard their stems must be close to breaking.
“You brought flowers,” Scott said softly as Joel disappeared down the hill and back to Stratos. Jimmy spun around immediately, flowers still behind his back and Scott couldn’t help but laugh. He could be so adorable without even trying.
“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Jimmy said, his tone defeated as he presented Scott the bouquet. “They – aw, they are all messed up now.”
One of the poppies snapped, its reds petals drifting to the ground. The white flowers where lily-of-the-valleys and these looked like they had only just sprouted. Scott knew his flowers, he made his dyes from them. These were wild ones so Jimmy had gone out of his way to acquire them for him.
“I mean, it fits the situation I guess,” Scott tried to lighten the mood a bit. For a moment a smile flashed across Jimmy’s face but he quickly grimaced to hide it. He set a step forward and held out the flowers to Scott. Scott took them, touching Jimmy’s hand for just a second longer than was necessary.
“I shouldn’t have said the things I said to you last time,” Jimmy blurted out. “I want to apologize for that. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Don’t apologize for how you feel, Jim,” Scott hated seeing Jimmy like this. He was to kind a soul for this world, he had always been. He would always question his own actions before those of anybody else and while he tried to present himself like though guy he just wasn’t. That was a good thing if you asked Scott, because nowadays it was difficult to find people who were genuinely this kind.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” was the response and Scott couldn’t help but smile. There, he tried it again.
“If anything, I should apologize,” Scott slowly approached Jimmy, almost like one would step up to an injured animal. Jimmy followed his every movement as Scott walked past him to take seat on the edge of the fountain. It was a nice day in Chromia, as the sun had just passed its highest point in the sky and there was a slight breeze.
“That I didn’t come to you earlier, for the things I said,” Scott continued. He had to talk this out with Jimmy, he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t. Whatever would happen between them after this conversation, Scott would have peace with it. Anything but it becoming awkward and hurtful. “For the things I did.”
Jimmy sat down next to Scott, though a little bit away. It was a bit clumsy, as he had to move his wings to not make them hang into the water of the fountain. Annoyance flashed across his face but he didn’t say a word about it.
“Why were you and Grian fighting in the first place?” he asked, which somewhat answered Scotts question about how much Jimmy had actually heard of the argument. Maybe it had only been those last couple of jabs, maybe he hadn’t heard Grians accusation.
“I came over because I noticed he was on the Server,” Scott started. He had just kind of started yelling at Grian as soon as he realized why he had come at all. “He was just sitting outside your house and… I just thought it very bold of him to decide and show up.”
Scott found it difficult to formulate a good answer to the question. He wanted to tell Jimmy how mad he had been at Grian for a while now, how he didn’t understand how Grian had kept this cycle of death going for so long. As far as he understood it, Grian could simply decide to give up his powers and those Watchers would leave him alone. Grian claimed it wasn’t as easy as that and Pearl hung somewhere in the middle. Scott had no idea how Jimmy stood in that and he didn’t want to start this conversation on the wrong foot instantly.
“Why?” Jimmy asked.
“Well, because this is essentially his fault,” Scott said honestly. “He pulled us into these games of his. To my understanding this never would’ve happened if he just gave up those powers he has gotten.”
“I guess that’s true,” Jimmy said in a way that instantly made Scott feel that he had already chosen Grians side of the argument instead of his. He sounded almost hesitant to agree with Scott. “But you have to understand the Watchers are not to be reasoned with. Once Grian was in this deal there was no way he was going to get out.”
“He got an opportunity to get out,” Scott argued. “He told me about it, and he somehow made it even worse.”
“Yeah, that wasn’t his smartest decision,” Jimmy smiled briefly, then his face went blank again. “But trying to make a sane decision while facing the Watchers is the single most hardest thing to do. He at least managed to fulfill it by making sure I won.”
Scott bit his lip to not go against that. Scott was of the opinion Grian only caused more dangerous situations for Jimmy because he was drawn to chaos. Him and Joel both. Scott could get behind the fact that Grian wanted to protected Jimmy from Joels chaos, but he had not counteracted it that well. That entire bread bridge situation was a hot mess that only got them into trouble.
“You don’t believe that, do you?” Jimmy tilted his head slightly to the side, making his hair flop over. It was a bit longer than how he usually wore it, but it suited him.
“We both know Grian lives for chaos and is always in for a joke,” Scott said. He was a fool to think he could hide anything for Jimmy. Some people might think he was a bit dense, but he was smarter than he sometimes let on. “Living on top of a woodland mansion? That is the single worst idea I’ve ever heard.”
“It was great once we cleaned out the mobs,” was Jimmy’s response to that. “And Grian even got a totem out of it, those are valuable enough to risk something like that.”
“Yeah, but he kept them for himself,” Scott scoffed. Once he learned Grian had obtained totems, he was convinced he would’ve given one to Jimmy. That was the logical thing to do, right? They based together and Grian needed him to survive. What else then a totem of undying could be a better gift?
“Well, he only had one,” Jimmy shrugged. He seemed to have relaxed a bit, his fingers dipping in the water of the fountain and making tiny ripples as he just couldn’t sit still. He was however still fully focused on Scott.
“He… he didn’t,” Scott hated how surprised he sounded. He had assumed Jimmy had turned down the offer of the totem out of the goodness of his heart and that only after that Grian had given it to Skizz, who was also having a particularly hard time. “He gifted one to Skizz.”
Jimmy frowned as if he really had to think back on something. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then decided against it.
“I thought you knew,” Scott quickly said. He might be mad at Grian but he wasn’t willing to set Jimmy up against him. They had been friends for even longer than Scott knew Jimmy, he couldn’t do that to them. “I only learned it later on, but apparently Skizz had it for quite a while.”
“Skizz was having a hard time from the start,” Jimmy said, already making peace with the information he had just gotten. “He deserved that totem.”
“Do you really think that?” Scott had to ask. He turned to Jimmy, pulling one leg onto the edge of the fountain. “Wouldn’t you have wanted it for yourself?”
“Who wouldn’t want a totem?” Jimmy said to avoid the question. “It doesn’t matter anymore now, does it?”
He was so… indifferent to it all. He seemed to have no anger in him, no unanswered questions or the confusion Scott had felt when he won that second season. It was a bit of a blur, those days right after but Scott didn’t think he had ever felt so betrayed before. The Player that had gone through the most trauma, the one that had seen all their friends die got to remember everything of it. It was so cruel.
“It does, though,” Scott insisted. “Before we started, Grian came to me and Pearl almost begging us to help him get you to victory. Then, when he got that totem he decided to give it to somebody else? I just think that is strange, Jim, that’s it. I tried making sense of it, but I can’t.”
“Whatever his reasoning was, he did it to stop the Watchers games,” Jimmy was really, really convinced of that sentiment. “And he succeeded, so it doesn’t matter how he made sure I won or how – “
“Jimmy,” Scott moved forward, putting his hand on Jimmy’s knee and he promptly shut his mouth upon the touch. He looked up, eyes big as if surprised by the sudden interruption.
“You won,” Scott emphasized, slightly squeezing his knee. “Like how Grian has won by making the right allies, like how Pearl and myself won by our wits. You – well, you didn’t exactly stay out of trouble but you still survived. That was not because of Grian or anybody else, alright?”
Jimmy didn’t move away from Scott, but he felt him tense up under his hand. Scott liked to think he knew Jimmy well enough to know he was struggling with this. Scott didn’t care how long it would take for him to make Jimmy realize he won on his own merit. Like always there had been some luck involved but in the final moments neither Grian, Scott nor Pearl had been around to help Jimmy win the fight. He had bested Martyn on his own, which was something he should be proud of.
“When I was low, everybody came running in to help,” Jimmy muttered, finally breaking eye contact with Scott and shifting his gaze to Scotts hand. “Bdubs gave me time, you gave me time. Joel and Grian let me push TNT minecarts just so I could claim the kills. I did plenty of stupid things to set the entire Server against me.”
“But that was not out of petty,” Scott assured his friend. He wanted to console him, give him a big old hug but they hadn’t even touched on what happened between the two of them during the first season. Scott was afraid if he would make any rash move right now that might be destroyed. So he just squeezed Jimmys knee again, hoping his words were enough. “It’s because people like you. They don’t hold a grudge against you because they know they can count on you when you are allied with them.”
Before Scott could continue, Jimmy scoffed and moved to stand up. Scotts hand fell flat on the cold surface of the fountains edge and as Jimmy turned, the tip of one of the wings skimming the water. His expression was something between pain and anger and Scott wanted to do nothing more than wipe it off that beautiful face of his.
“Right, like the Southeners could count on me when I stole Martyns life?” he argued angrily, gesturing sharply with his hands. “How my alliance with Bdubs, Scar and Cleo shifted constantly depending on what Joel and Grian wanted us to do? Nobody can count on me, not in games like these, because I am just bad. I can’t fight, I can’t do traps or negotiate! They help me just because they feel bad for me!”
There it was. That was how Jimmy had really been feeling about all of this and he had desperately tried to hide it. Because that would show yet another one of his weak points, in his eyes. It would be another reason for people to take petty on him, to never be impressed. If only he would realize how wrong he was. Scott wouldn’t deny he wasn’t the cause for Jimmy creating this view of himself. He had taken the mick out of him plenty enough, like so many of their other friends.
“So that’s why Tango stuck to your side?” it might not be the wised thing for Scott to bring Tango up, but he was willing to try it anyway. “Because he felt bad for you and felt like he had to stuck around just for the sake of it?”
“Yes!” Jimmy argued, though the slight waver in his voice proved he was probably thinking differently about it. “We were soulbound, he had to!”
“Well, we both know that is bullshit,” Scott stayed calm despite Jimmy’s emotions. He wouldn’t shout at him, not like had shouted at Grian. Jimmy needed to hear the truth and because Tango couldn’t say it, Scott would. Scott knew he had the tendency to be the jealous type but when he saw how good of a time Jimmy had with Tango he had been surprised by how hurt he felt. At that point, neither of them remembered anything about what had happened before so Scott couldn’t blame either of them. The best was that, if neither of them won, neither would remember and everything would go back to normal. Still, Scott had despised Tango for the entire season. He wanted to be in his shoes so badly.
“I didn’t stick with Pearl and Cleo didn’t stick with Martyn,” Scott continued. “Tango could’ve walked away any second if he wanted to, but he stayed. I think you two were one of the most stable pairings, as Etho continuously tried to pull Bdubs way from Impulse and Grian had that whole thing going with BigB. To me, it looked like the two of you didn’t have a care in the world outside of that hovel you called a ranch.”
“It looked nothing like a ranch,” a slight smile reappeared on Jimmy’s face, though he still sounded a bit mad. “But it was home, I guess. Tango just… he must’ve felt guilty for getting us blown up within a day.”
“Do you really think that?”
“Yes,” Jimmy’s tone told Scott that he really did. “I felt guilty for the two times I got him killed. He did nothing wrong, but because of my recklessness we didn’t last very long.”
“That’s the nature of the game, Jim,” Scott wasn’t going to say that Jimmy’s somewhat unfortunate decisions did get them killed, of course. “If it counts for anything, he won’t ever remember it.”
“He won’t,” Jimmy agreed and he put his hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped. “Which might even be worse.”
Scott bit it lip as he was unsure what to say next. How had he ever thought it was a good idea to bring Tango up? How could he possible give Jimmy any advice on this topic? He loved Jimmy, he had since the very beginning of Grians twisted games but he could never talk about it. He wasn’t sure how Jimmy felt about him, or Tango, or the entirety of this situation even. He wanted to do nothing more than just hug him until they couldn’t breath but that would only scare him off. Maybe he didn’t feel anything for Scott anymore, what they had was so long ago. Jimmy might remember now, but it must be a distant memory. His memory of Tango, however, was much fresher.
“I still have some work to do,” Scott then suddenly declared as he felt his emotions well up deep in his chest. He didn’t want to cry in front of Jimmy, he was the one that was hurting more right now. Scott had to be strong, how difficult it might be for him. “Thanks for the flowers, Jim.”
He stood up swiftly and turned his back to Jimmy just to avoid looking him in the eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that light up when he laughed but had looked so sad during this entire conversation. Scott didn’t like seeing Jimmy like this.
Jimmy wasn’t having any of the weak lie Scott had come up with. He grabbed Scott by the arm, turning him around and stopping him from walking away any further. They were so close all of a sudden, chests almost touching and Jimmy’s larger form looming over Scott. The wings casted a large shadow over the two of them and for a moment Scott forgot how to breath. Jimmy’s expression was difficult to read, lingering somewhere between sadness, anger and maybe even a bit of desire. Scott could smell the earthy musk of Tumble Town and by the Void did it do something to him. Jimmy leaned in, still holding Scotts arm firmly and the look in his eyes alone made Scott want to lay his life in Jimmy’s hands. Scott felt a single tear go down his cheek but before it could hit the ground Jimmy wiped it off. Then, when Scott thought for a split second he would kiss him, Jimmy wrapped his arms around Scott and gave him the best embrace he had in years.
“I must’ve hurt you terribly without realizing,” Jimmy whispered, his mouth so close to Scotts ear he could feel it move. “Seeing me and Tango together… that had to be hard.”
Of course he knew. Jimmy might not be the sharpest tool in the shack but he did care and he did remember both relationships he had. Scott never really figured out what was going on between Jimmy and Tango and if it ever meant more than just their lives being bound but it had hurt.
“You didn’t know,” Scott buried his head in Jimmy’s shoulder in the hopes of disguising his quivering voice. “You shouldn’t feel bad about it. I… I would lie if I said I wasn’t jealous.” Jimmy deserved to know that at least, because it did say something about Scotts dedication to him. What he would do with that wasn’t up to Scott, but he was glad he said it.
“I get that,” Jimmy responded. “I… I don’t really know how I feel about it myself. About you and Tango and…”
His thought trailed off and his hand that had gently been brushing Scotts back fell still. Scott didn’t want this hug to end, his heart had ached with the desire to be this close to Jimmy. But Jimmy pulled back, his arms falling to his side as he took a step back.
“I’ll be here when you need me,” Scott knew he had already gotten so much more than he could ask for. He wasn’t going to push Jimmy. “Just remember that. And thank you for still wanting to talk to me after what I said.”
“I can’t be mad at you for long,” Jimmy said with a little smile. “Or in general, really. Well, no, that isn’t true. I’m never going to forgive Pearl and BigB for killing Judge Judy and Executioner.”
Scott wanted to ask what he was talking about but decided against it. If it really was a sour a memory as Jimmy made it he didn’t want to ruin their moment with it.
“Well, when I said I had work to do it was actually true,” Scott continued. “Because Joel cleared me out of several colors of dye.”
“Typical,” Jimmy commented. “I have to come up with an excuse why I suddenly have wings, I guess.”
“You’ll come up with something,” Scott told him. “They suit you, I have to say. Yellow looks good on you.”
Jimmy smiled, making the sparkle in his eyes return and Scotts heart made a little flutter in his chest. Sometimes he hated how Jimmy made him feel like a teenage child that was head over heels for some celebrity, but then again, Jimmy was pretty amazing. A lot of people might not see in him what Scott saw, but that was probably for the better. Otherwise Scott was going to have to compete with a lot more other than just Tango.
“Thank you,” Jimmy said. “Grian promised me to teach me how to actually fly, once they grow a bit stronger.”
“That sounds dangerous,” Scott had to admit. Still, if anybody could teach Jimmy it was Grian. “As long as you promise you’ll take me out for an aerial tour.”
“Sure,” Jimmy answered quickly. “That’s a date then, I guess.”
He winked and before Scott could answer in his awestruck state Jimmy walked of to the Nether portal. He looked back once right before the purple shimmer swallowed him and Scott had to physically stop himself to not run after him and try to kiss him. He had actually set a couple of steps forward, but Jimmy was way to far away already. Then, he was gone.
“Gods, Smajor, you are one lovestruck little boy,” he muttered to the heavens. He’d once promised himself to never get so head over heals for a man ever again, but the blood crawled where it couldn’t go. He couldn’t deny what Jimmy did to him and he knew he would be heartbroken if Jimmy decided he’d wanted to pursue what he had with Tango. Or if he decided he didn’t want either of them, that was also still a true possibility. Scott was however determined that he was going to do everything to win Jimmy over again. He had done it once and he was sure he could do it again. He believed he could make Jimmy happy, which was honestly all he cared about. He’d give Jimmy the space he needed right now and just be there for him like a friend. Scott would be hurt by it, he knew, but he was willing to be for Jimmy.