Chapter Text
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
It’s actually not that bad, being stranded on an alien planet. Techno is experienced in wilderness survival, and it doesn’t really bother him that he and Ranboo are the only sentient beings on its surface.
The kid is quiet, which maybe should be concerning all things considered, but it makes Techno’s life easier since he doesn’t have to say much back. He’s always been the unsociable sort.
He teaches the kid how to set traps and where they’re placed, and the tall alien boy—Enderman, he thinks? He hasn’t asked—anyway, the kid has learned to take care of the meaty part of their diet, leaving Techno to tend his beloved garden in peace.
Potatoes are obviously from Earth and therefore an invasive species, but they’re one of the few things Techno has been able to salvage from the wreckage of his own ship, and they were the only thing he was sure he could eat for a while, so he doesn’t really care. Nature can deal. Maybe a hundred years from now when he’s dead and gone and civilization has finally decided to remember this planet exists as more than a random string of numbers in a star map, some scientists will discover the flourishing spud spreading like kudzu, and they’ll be baffled by how similar it is to an Earthen plant. Maybe they’ll invent some ridiculous theory about how it supposedly evolved and insist that it only resembles the potato by coincidence. Techno is fine with that being his legacy.
Ranboo has domesticated some sort of massive purple creature with way too many limbs. It bears no resemblance to anything Techno has ever seen other than that it makes a sound strikingly similar to that of a cow and also produces milk like one. The kid has named it Ranmoo, and Techno isn’t sure how to feel about that, but Ranboo seems happy, and that’s good, Techno supposes.
Yeah, daytime is good here; it’s nighttime that’s awkward.
The planet gets much cooler at night, so the two of them are forced to retreat into a nearby cave that has become their base, where they build a fire. Then they sit around it uncomfortably close and chew their dinner in silence.
It’s . . . well, Techno feels like he should say something, but he has no idea what. And Ranboo definitely isn’t going to start a conversation. The kid may trust him to provide, but Ranboo is still skittish. There’s been this quiet air of despair around the kid since Techno rescued him, and the boy doesn’t yet seem to have realigned his outlook with his change in circumstances. Whatever had happened to him, it seemed to have left a lasting mark on his psyche. Or maybe he’s always been that way; Techno doesn’t know. The point is that no matter how much Ranboo looks to Techno for safety, the kid is not out to make friends except maybe with Ranmoo. Techno doesn’t understand what the kid sees in the creepy thing. Personally, he has a hard time getting past the teeth as long as his forearm, but Ranboo seems much more comfortable in its company than in Techno’s. Maybe the kid is unsociable too?
Normally, Techno would be fine with that, but it definitely makes evenings awkward, and Techno is tired of feeling like he’s going to shrivel up and die in the presence of the only other sentient being in this solar system. Time to act like an adult, he thinks morosely.
So against his better judgment, he swallows a bite of potato and opens his mouth.
“There’s a planet,” he begins, and the kid looks up sharply from his baked potato, triangular ears perked and tension in his lanky form. Techno gives him a second to get over his fright and starts again, mind already working furiously to adapt the story to a context more familiar to an alien kid who knows nothing about Earth.
“There’s a planet far away from here that was ruled by a tyrant,” he settles on.
Ranboo seems to recognize a story when he hears one. The kid settles, ears relaxing into a more neutral position and tail uncoiling from around himself. He watches Techno with those large, mismatched eyes, which would have been unsettling if Techno wasn’t used to it by now.
Techno takes his cue and continues. “The man had done a good thing once, ridding the world of the previous tyrant, his father. He did it to defend his siblings, whom their father had cruelly exiled. When he took the throne, he ruled well for years and years. Many even referred to that time as their golden age.”
“So how was he a tyrant then?” Ranboo asks. Then he flushes, dual toned skin turning faintly purple in the firelight. “S-sorry, I’ll let you finish.”
Techno shrugs to show he doesn’t care. Honestly, he’s just glad the kid is engaged. Would be so much more awkward if the kid shut him down.
“As I said, he ruled well for many years, but then he grew old and paranoid. He had not set a good precedent by cutting his father to pieces and throwing him into the sea. What if his children tried to make it a family tradition?”
Ranboo winces appreciatively. “That, uh, that would be bad?”
“It would,” Techno agrees. “This king resolved that such a thing would never happen to him. So when his first child was born, a daughter, he took the kid from his wife’s arms, opened his mouth wide, and swallowed her whole.”
The kid’s eyes widen, and Techno internally winces. Maybe he shouldn’t have started with this particular story, but it was the first one he thought of. Now that he’s thinking about it, he doesn’t actually know how old the kid is. He’s pretty sure Ranboo is a teenager at least, but it’s hard to tell with aliens, much less species he isn’t familiar with. Has he just traumatized the kid worse?
“Not that the kid died,” he hurries to explain. “This was a hardy race, so the kid was just confined to his stomach and couldn’t go anywhere or cause trouble.” Actually, that sounds worse. What was he thinking? This is such a bad idea.
“So it’s like jail, but more gross and no elbow room?” says Ranboo, wrinkling his nose.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Ew,” the boy says appreciatively, “that’s worse than the exile.”
“Exactly,” Techno says, “in trying to avoid the mistakes of his father, the king became more evil in the end. He had five children, two sons and three daughters, and he swallowed each of them whole.”
“How did he fit them all?” Ranboo asks, looking awed.
Techno paused. The thought had never occurred to him. Greek gods generally had no respect for physics, but he didn’t really want to get into that. “Uh, he was a big guy, I guess, and they were all pretty little?”
Ranboo considers this seriously, and Techno wonders amusedly what sort of species he’s picturing in his head to try to make the physics work out.
“What about when they grew up?” the kid asks eventually.
“Ah, see, that’s when the problems began,” Techno says. “See, the king’s wife was not happy about the situation, and the fact that her kids weren’t dead wasn’t enough for her.”
“Understandable,” says Ranboo, displaying a surprising amount of sarcasm.
“Understandable,” Techno agrees dryly, and the kid actually giggles. His tail waves, and Techno is not admitting to anyone how endearing that is. Instead, he forges on.
“She’d been really excited to have kids, and she didn’t even get to see them grow up, so she was actually pretty mad about the whole thing. But her husband wouldn’t budge. The kids had to be locked up, uh, so to speak, somewhere where he could keep an eye on them. So the queen made a plan. When the sixth kid was born, a son, she hid him away in a cave kinda like this one.”
“Didn’t the king notice, though?” Ranboo asks.
Techno smirks. “No. She gave him a rock, and he swallowed that instead.”
Ranboo nearly chokes on his last bite of potato. “Really?” he asks, “and the king couldn’t tell the difference?”
“Nah, he was pretty dumb.”
The kid laughs so hard his shoulders shake. “W-wow,” he gasps, “he deserved what he got, then.”
“Oh, he did,” Techno agrees. “The sixth kid grew up hidden away in this cave, so his father never knew of his existence. When the kid grew up, he decided that he was going to free his brothers and sisters. So he concocted this really gross potion, and he convinced his dad to drink it.”
“How did he manage that?” Ranboo asks. He’s thoroughly engaged now, ears perked and green eye glowing faintly the way it does when something has his full attention. It’s kind of nice to share an interest with someone for once.
“Well remember, his dad didn’t know what he looked like,” Techno explains. “He thought he’d already swallowed all his kids, and everyone else loved him because he ruled so well. What reason did he have to fear? So when this guy came into town offering this fancy potion, why wouldn’t he try it?”
Ranboo considers this. “I guess that makes sense,” he decides.
“So the king drank the potion, and it made him sick, so he vomited up his kids—“
“Ewwww!”
“Yep, the kids were feeling pretty grossed out too, but they were free, and they were all grown up, so they came together and overpowered their father.”
“Did they cut him into pieces like he thought?”
“Yep,” said Techno. “Exactly what he was trying to prevent.”
“He deserved it, though, didn’t he?” says Ranboo. “I mean, he was kind of evil, even if he was a good ruler.”
“Good deeds don’t make up for bad ones,” Techno says. “He definitely deserved it.”
“What happened to the six children, then?” Ranboo asks.
“They decided to rule the kingdom together,” Techno tells him. “Well, five of them did, anyway. The eldest brother got his own kingdom, but that’s another story. The five ruled together, and later they let some others join them until there were twelve total. Their kind live for a very long time, and the twelve lived long, happy lives ruling their kingdom, even if they did get in fights sometimes.”
“Well, all siblings fight a little bit, don’t they?” Ranboo says.
“Yep,” Techno agrees, thinking of his own.
They lapse into silence, but it isn’t so bad this time. Now it feels a lot more comfortable, like there’s an understanding between them. Even though they have next to nothing in common, they’ve shared this moment together, and that’s something.