Work Text:
When Sarina Washington got back from her lunch break, she was frustrated to see her most promising officer sitting alone at a free desk, working on his laptop. "Reyes, did you work through lunch again?"
Reyes shrugged one shoulder, intent on his work. "I'm still catching up after ..." He stopped, clearly still uncomfortable, then soldiered on. "After my extended leave."
"You've been back for a month."
"Paperwork's a bitch," said Officer O'Sullivan, one of their older beat cops, leaning against cubicle wall. He was eating a donut and Reyes's eyes flicked up to look at it longingly for a moment before focusing back on his screen. "Every time I take a vacation, it takes me twice the time I was gone to get it all done."
"That's because you take too many vacations," Sarina said pointedly before turning back to Reyes. "Lunch breaks are mandatory, Reyes. Besides, you should go check and make sure the rat didn't get your food."
That finally got Reyes' attention, and he swiveled his chair away from the desk. "We have a rat?"
"Apparently. It got into my salad. Ate all the lettuce and carrots, left the grilled chicken."
"I saw it," O'Sullivan agreed. "Only for a second, though, before it ran behind the fridge. Think it's diseased, too. Looked kinda ... orange."
Reyes back suddenly went rigid, or at least more rigid than usual, and he asked slowly, "An orange rat?"
O'Sullivan shrugged, clearly unconcerned. "Or red, maybe? Fur looked funny, but it hissed at me. That's what the rats that got in our garage at our old place did."
Reyes turned to Sarina urgently. "So the rat only ate the vegetables in your salad?"
She frowned. "Yes."
"And it hissed?"
"Again, yes. Why?"
"Uh, nothing." Reyes' eyes were blown wide and he sat frozen for a moment before standing abruptly. "I need to make a call," he said, voice tight, and then he speedily walked out the front door of the precinct, closing it very carefully behind him.
"What's up with him?" O'Sullivan asked, taking a bite of his donut. "He afraid of rats or something?"
Sarina sat back in her chair and tilted her head, curious in spite of herself. "Or something."
*
Twenty minutes or so later, TK Strand walked into the precinct, opening and closing the door with the same care that his husband had. Reyes, who had been sitting stiffly at his desk, his eyes darting around like they were looking for something, sprang up immediately. "Hey, babe," he said, sounding oddly stilted.
"Hey," Strand said, holding up a big tote bag. "I brought the stuff."
"Great. Let's get this over with."
Sarina cleared her throat and both men turned slowly towards her, looking like little boys caught with their hands in a cookie jar. She raised an eyebrow. "What stuff?"
"I decided to take lunch after all, if that's alright," Reyes said with a suspiciously bland smile, before looking meaningfully at TK. "Let me show you to the break room." Then he took his husbands hand and towed him to the back of the precinct.
A few minutes later, O'Sullivan stopped by Sarina's desk, smirking. "Guess who locked themselves in the break room?"
"Reyes and his husband," she said with a weary sigh.
O'Sullivan's whole face scrunched up in confusion. "Huh? I thought it was Miller in there with somebody."
"Why?"
"Because I heard someone say 'Come, Lou.' Seems kinda spicy for Miller, but hey, no judgment here."
"Oh, God," Sarina said, rubbing her forehead. A vague memory was coming back to her. Something about Reyes getting his husband a pet a couple months ago. A pet that she was starting to suspect might be named Lou.
Not long after, and in a shorter time than their lunch break allowed for, Reyes and Strand practically jogged back out to the bullpen. Strand waved to her briefly as he rushed by, and she could swear she saw something moving in his tote bag. And heard something that sounded like a hiss.
Reyes dropped into his chair, looking relieved.
"Everything okay?" Sarina asked, nodding at his husband's retreating back.
"Absolutely."
"Good," she said "Oh, and Officer Reyes?"
"Yes?"
"Whatever that is," she said, pointed her pen at Strand as he slipped through the precinct door, "it better never show up here again."
Reyes, looking sheepish, nodded. "Understood. Thank you, Detective Washington."
"Uh-huh," she said, rolling her eyes before getting back to her work. The things she put up with sometimes.
*
"It's not funny, TK."
"Oh, I beg to differ," his husband said, his smile wide and his eyes practically sparkling, as he filled Lou's water.
"Your lizard could've gotten me fired!"
"So when he sneaks to the precinct in your gym bag, he's my lizard?" TK asked, throwing his hand over his heart dramatically and giggling. "You said he was our baby, Carlos. That's bad lizard parenting."
He scowled, crossing his arms. "Yeah, well, now you know why I don't want kids."
"Because they'll show up at your work and eat your boss's salad?"
"All I know is, I got you a lizard and now Detective Washington thinks I'm an idiot."
"She does not," TK said, crossing the living room and putting his arms around Carlos. "At worst, you gave your coworkers a funny story to tell at the next work function. And mine, too."
"You told the 126?"
"Soon as I got back," his husband said, unrepentant. "Are you really telling me you don't think this is hilarious?"
He didn't want to answer that, so he leaned closer to TK instead. "They're all going to laugh at me on game night."
"Sorry," TK said, although he didn't sound very apologetic. But he followed it up by saying, "Do you want me to make it up to you?" and kissing Carlos before he had a chance to answer.
He hummed an agreement anyway, happy to get lost in TK and forget the whole awful day.
Until he felt something on his leg that he was pretty sure wasn't his husband. Or a rat.
He broke the kiss but kept his eyes closed. "TK. Tell me the thing crawling up my pants isn't what I think it is."
There was an ominous pause. "Um ..."
"Get your lizard off me."
"Yep."