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Nicole didn't like to think about Calamity Jane. What happened to her was too sad, and anyone bringing it up made Nedley's face droop even more than usual, and anyway, she'd moved on. She had a wife now, and a teenager, and a very demanding job. There wasn't really any reason to think about cats at all, most of the time.
Until one day, as she sat in an armchair in the living room decompressing, Waverly walked in, shouted "Surprise!" and put a tiny brown kitten on the floor about a foot in front of her.
She stared down at it, eyes wide. "Waverly, why do you have a cat?"
The little ball of fluff stood up with confidence but not much grace and tottered over to Nicole, purring as it went. It stopped by her leg, looked up at her, and let out a mighty yowl. Or, at least, a squeaky yowl. Possibly just a squeak.
"She's for you!" Waverly said, her voice upbeat but her face nervous. "Well, you and Rachel. I just thought, it's our last year together before she goes to college, and I know you missed Calamity Jane, so when I heard that Mrs. Smithers' cat had kittens I thought ... is it too much?"
The kitten squeaked again and started to climb up Nicole's khakis. She bent down and scooped her up, bringing her close to her face to inspect. The kitten allowed this for a moment, butting her small head against Nicole's chin and rumbling happily. Then she leaned as close to Nicole's ear as she could and screamed as loud as her baby lungs would allow.
Nicole shook her head and moved the kitten down to her chest instead. "Well, she definitely seems like an Earp."
"A little insulting, but fair," Waverly said. She rocked forward on her feet and clenched her fingers, looking at Nicole hopefully. "So?"
There was no way she was going to be able to say no to her wife when her face looked like that. And maybe, possibly she missed having a cat. "Does she have a name?"
Waverly beamed. "Not yet. It should be something super cute, right? Like Blueberry Muffin or Ms. Furry Pants."
"Those names sure are ... something." The kitten squeaked a third time and extended her head to smell at Nicole's beer that was sitting on the end table next to her. She snorted. "Oh God, she's definitely an Earp. She's like a tiny Wynonna, with the shiny brown hair and everything."
Waverly's eyes lit up. "Oh, I have the best idea."
*
"Awww, you named your cat after me?"
Nicole sighed. How did Wynonna sound so touched and so smug at the same time? "I'm never gonna heard the end of this, huh?"
"You miss me."
"Well, I did, but now I have Catnonna. She's cute and cuddly and never drugs me or cheats at drinking games in life-and-death situations."
At first the kitten had just been named Wynonna. Then, when that got confusing, Cat Wynonna. Which shortened to Catnonna somehow at some point, although none of them could remember being the one to do it first.
"Please, like I could be replaced by a cat." There was a pause, and then Wynonna asked, sounding a little worried, "Right?"
Before Nicole could answer, she saw the whiskey on the counter starting to move, seemingly without any assistance. "Um ..."
"Right?!?"
A tiny tail flicked out from behind the whiskey and Nicole groaned. "I'm gonna have to call you back."
"Listen to me, Ginger Bitch, I didn't finally get a best friend just to lose you to a fucking -"
Nicole threw her phone down and rescued both whiskey and kitten right before they tumbled to the floor.
*
Within the next few weeks, Catnonna knocked over three more liquor bottles, interrupted Waverly and Nicole having sex six times, and one awful afternoon escaped the house, leading to the three of them and Billy frantically searching around the property while Rachel lectured them all on the environmental impact of outdoor cats in an increasingly frantic-sounding voice. The kitten was found asleep in the barn rafters an hour later. They ordered her a GPS collar that night.
But she also followed Waverly around the house, meowing at her ramblings like they were having an actual conversation. And when she got into Rachel's fishing equipment and stole some lures to bat around, the teenager bought her some one of those cat toys with the stick on one end and a string and feather on the other. Catnonna was obsessed with it and Nicole had caught Rachel actually giggling as she bounced the feather around for Catnonna to chase.
And whenever Nicole had a particularly difficult day at work, Catnonna seemed to sense it, squeaking until she was picked up and put in Nicole's lap and then making biscuits on her leg, purring in a comforting sort of way. It was really nice, and a reminder of why she'd loved having a cat before.
They did end up having to put all the alcohol on the highest shelf in the cupboard. Just to be safe.
*
"You should get a cat, too."
Work had ended half an hour ago and she was sitting on a stool at Shorty's, pleasantly buzzed. Usually, if Jeremy didn't need her and she wasn't too swamped with paperwork, she went straight home at the end of the day. But she hadn't had a chance to hang out with Nedley one-on-one for a while and the bar wasn't too packed, so she'd decided to stick around for a while.
Nedley raised a bushy eyebrow. "Oh, I don't know about that. I don't exactly have the best track record."
His eyes looked sad, and Nicole couldn't stand to see Nedley sad. "We both know you didn't mean to do it," she said, putting her hand on top of the one he had resting on the bar. "You loved the hell out of that cat. We all get turned into a monster or possessed or compelled by vampires sometimes. It happens."
"Well, yeah. That's the problem. There's always a next time around here." He took a long pull from his beer.
"I think that's why I didn't consider getting another cat," Nicole admitted. "I worried about something happening to it like what happened to ... anyway. Things have been different the last year. Better. Maybe even a little safer."
Nedley saluted her with his beer. "Thanks to our sheriff."
She smiled and saluted him back. "Well, I did learn from the best."
"I get what you're saying," he said, looking contemplative. "I guess it isn't the worst idea. I could get it one of those collars that looks like a bow tie."
"Hell yes! We need to get one for Catnonna, too. They can match."
"That sounds so adorable I might actually die," Nedley said seriously.
They clinked their beer bottles together.
*
"Hey, cutie," Nicole said later that night, as she sidled up to Waverly in the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her.
"Hi, sweetie pie." Waverly popped up on her tip-toes to kiss her, then pulled away, her nose scrunched up. "God, what does your mouth taste like?"
"Nedley made me try his new cocktail before I left Shorty's. Then I drank a bunch of coffee to help sober up and to kill the cocktail aftertaste."
"I don't think you drank enough," Waverly said, before patting Nicole on the cheek and going back to cooking dinner. "But it was cute of you to do that for him."
"I kinda want to do something else, too."
"Oh? What's that?"
"I want to get him a cat."
Waverly stopped cooking again to smile her biggest, eye-crinkling smile at Nicole. "You do?"
"I do. I think it would be good for him."
"Then I'll call Mrs. Smithers tomorrow."
"Thanks, baby." She kissed Waverly on the cheek. "And thank you for getting me Catnonna. You're amazing and I love you."
"You're welcome. And I love you, too." Waverly pulled her down for a longer kiss. And then they kept on kissing, deeper and deeper, more and more urgent.
Miraculously, neither cat nor teenager noticed when they put the food away for a while and snuck upstairs so Nicole could show her appreciation properly.
*
One night, after a particularly long day where she'd had to deal with BBD, a troll, and Bunny Loblaw, Nicole pulled up to the Homestead a few minutes before midnight. She slogged from her cruiser through a couple feet of fresh snow to the house, too exhausted to even care that her pants were getting wet, and opened the door with a heavy sigh. Her plan was to eat some cereal, because it didn't require any prep or cooking, then lie in a bath until her back didn't hurt anymore, then straight to bed.
The plan hit a snag when she walked in and saw what was waiting for her.
Rachel and Waverly were on the couch together, Rachel reading, Waverly slumped over on the couch arm, her eyes closed. Catnonna was curled up between them, her head on Waverly's lap and her tail draped over Rachel's arm. The fire was crackling and the snow on the windows looked pretty now that she was inside.
Instead of going to the kitchen, she dropped down into a chair, smiling tiredly when Rachel looked up at her and nodding at Waverly. "What happened to her?"
"She wanted to wait up for you but she passed out like an hour ago."
"Not 'sleep," Waverly mumbled, her eyes still closed.
"Were you waiting for me, too?"
Rachel scoffed. "No. I happen to like this book, that's all."
Nicole raised a skeptical eyebrow. "A Beginner's Guide to Fishing?"
"I like fishing," Rachel said defensively.
"I know, Nedley takes you out all the time. He says you're better than him now. Which is why I'm pretty sure you don't need a fifty-year-old basics manual with the back half ripped off." Rachel sputtered and Nicole grinned. "You were waiting for me."
"Whatever," her kid said, before looking her up and down. "You look like ass. Did you even get anything to eat?"
"No. I was just gonna have some cereal or something."
Rachel rolled her eyes, set down her manual and stood up. "Your pants are soaked, take this," she said, thrusting the throw blanket at Nicole before stomping off to the kitchen.
Catnonna meow-growled, clearly upset with all the sudden movement, then hopped off the couch, strode across the room, and used her longer adolescent legs to leap almost gracefully into Nicole's lap.
"Cute," Waverly slurred, as Catnonna started to make biscuits on Nicole's leg.
"Baby, you can't even see it."
"Know s'cute anyway."
"Here." A plate with a sandwich on it and a beer were shoved in front of her.
"Thanks," she said, taking the offered food while Rachel went back to the couch.
"Don't mention it."
"Aww," cooed Waverly.
"Shut up," Rachel said, undercutting her message by snuggling up against Waverly and closing her eyes, too.
Nicole took a bite of the sandwich, which turned out to be turkey, and looked at the two of them, her wife now lightly snoring. Difficult days like this were worth it to come home to this. To her family.
Then she felt something pushing against the bottle in her other hand and she held it up and away, glaring at her cat. "No beer, Catnonna!"
Catnonna turned away angrily, pointedly smacking Nicole in the face with her tail.
Yup. This was her family.