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Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Hunter and his friends returned to the Boiling Isles. Three weeks since Luz, Eda and King managed to get through to the Collector. Three weeks since they’d defeated Belos. Three weeks since he lost his best friend. His best friend…Flapjack.
After the big battle Hunter didn’t really expect anyone to be waiting or searching for him, so he decided to help Gus, Amity and Willow find their families, it was the least he could do after all. He knew how much his friends missed their parents and siblings, so it was really touching to finally see them all reunite after months of being apart.
Despite the happiness he felt for his friends, he couldn’t help but feel sad. HE had no ‘real’ family, at least not anymore. The man who raised him was dead, which made him feel very conflicted since yeah, Belos was horrible and awful and Hunter hated him with his whole being, but that man had raised him, no matter how cruel and unfair he’d treated him. It was hard to comprehend that that man, that monster, was truly dead, that he would never hurt him or anyone else again.
And well, his best friend was dead too. Flapjack was the most important person in Hunter’s life, and it was still not quite possible for Hunter to truly understand that he wouldn’t be coming back. He felt so alone…He knew he still had Luz, Camila, all his friends and Willow, but they were all currently busy reuniting with their families, and the boy didn’t want to interrupt them, which is why he turned down Camila’s offer to come with her to the owl house. Besides, that place still held bad memories for him anyway…So the boy had no other choice than to just stand there in the archive awkwardly, his smile slowly fading as he was once again hit with the indescribably painful realization that his bird, his sweet innocent bird, wasn’t here with him anymore. He was dead, he wasn’t coming back and he’d never pull on his hair again or sleep on his head or cheer him up with his adorable chirps and nudges. He still was there…somehow. But not in the way Hunter wanted him to be, in the way he was supposed to be.
And it’s all Belos’ fault…
Before he could sink even deeper into this dark hole of thoughts, clutching his wolf shirt like his life depended on it, a hand suddenly started ruffling the blonde boy’s hair gently, causing him to snap out of whatever daze he had been in and turn around sharply, ready to snap at whoever dared to touch him. Snapping seemed to be all he could do ever since the…incident…at the graveyard.
His angry scowl immediately disappeared from his face when he realized who had actually ruffled his hair. It wasn’t at all who he’d expected it to be. It was none other than Darius Deamonne himself. He’d missed him a lot, the two had grown much closer ever since the whole flyer derby team kidnapping thing and his and the man’s sewing lessons. But the boy hadn’t expected Darius to look at him as fondly as he did, his gaze reminded him of Camila’s…It made him feel safe, and for a moment, he was able to push away all of his dark and depressing thoughts and just smile at the man, a sense of belonging filling his heart as Darius kept smiling at him like he was the most special, most precious kid he had ever seen.
“Wow! Did you make that?” the man exclaimed, looking down at Hunter’s sewn shirt in amazement and pointing at the wolves on it. As the former golden guard nodded and excitedly told him about wolves, the man listened curiously with an equally interested Eberwolf sitting on his shoulder. He gently ruffled his hair once again when the boy stopped talking and said words that never failed to make Hunter cry, no matter who said them.
“I’m so glad you’re here, kid. I missed you.”
“Hey, little wolf? Your friends are here, they’ve got something to tell you!” Darius spoke as he went to the living room where the boy sat, a book in his hands. ‘Cosmic Frontier 2- Return of the Legends’ the title said, Luz had brought it to him a few hours ago and the boy immediately went to read it, he seemed really passionate about this book series.
Hunter looked up, confusion littering his face. Hadn’t Luz already visited him two hours ago? He got up from his seat and went to the front door where his friends stood, looking hesitant but also slightly excited.
“Oh, hi guys. What’s up?” Hunter waved and tilted his head slightly, curious but slightly concerned because of the looks they all gave him. What was on their minds?
Please don’t ask me to talk about anything related to Flapjack…I don’t think I’m ready. Please.
“Hey Hunter! We’ve got some news.” Luz greeted, giving him a small smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. Oh, this had to be about something involving what happened three weeks ago…He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, hoping to show them all that he wasn’t in the mood for comforting talks or opening up about his feelings or anything like that. He wasn’t ready to talk about it…He didn’t think he’d ever be.
“Well…You know there’s a new portal now, and since Mamá bought that shack we stayed in we wanted to watch a movie there. You weren’t answering on Penstagram so we just thought we’d come here. That book really sucked you into its spell, huh? Gus, look what you did to him. He’s obsessed!” Luz spoke again, then shoved their small friend jokingly who chuckled in response, looking at Hunter with a sheepish grin.
“Says you! You got Amity to cosplay as Hecate! Amity Blight!” Willow laughed as she walked up to Hunter and grabbed his hand, looking at her friend softly.
Hunter smiled slightly in return, he figured that a distraction might be nice. He liked the shack, and he hadn’t really seen it since…since…Halloween. Yeah, he did need a distraction. He still hadn’t processed what happened properly, and he knew it’d take a long, long time until he even started to, but maybe distracting himself would make this all better. It had worked the last few weeks after all…ish. The boy had cried a lot in these three weeks, probably more than he’d ever cried in the Emperor’s Coven, because he simply wasn’t allowed to cry there, at all. Now everyone encouraged it, which was so confusing considering his upbringing. Either way, he had talked to Camila and Darius about it, and with his friends, but he hadn’t told them everything. Only what he couldn’t stop from slipping out in his distressed state…
“Yeah, I guess. Sounds good. Who’s gonna be there?”
“Oh, just us. Maybe Mamá, Eda or Raine will check on us from time to time, or King. Vee is meeting up with Masha so she won’t be there I think. But yeah, Mamá is definitely gonna come in once or twice. She misses you tons.” Luz told Hunter, the old spark was finally back in her eyes. They’d all missed it, so they were glad she was doing better now.
“Didn’t she see him like, yesterday?” Amity raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly as she looked at her girlfriend and then at Hunter.
“For the record, I miss her too. Me and Gus are her Cosmic Frontier allies. And sworn allies must stick together…“
“Through thick and thin! Oh, Cosmic Frontier, never fails to make me emotional.” Gus finished Hunter’s sentence, pretending to wipe a tear away from his eye as he stared at the sky dramatically, making his friends grin.
“What’s that about Cosmic Frontier? Hunter has been reading that book for like two hours straight! You’re making me want to read it too.” a man’s voice gasped from behind Hunter, causing him to turn around sharply at the unexpected noise. His hand clenched into a fist reflexively, but his hand stayed empty, no staff appeared. Of course not. His palisman was dead, no matter how often he tried to summon him. Why couldn’t his stupid brain just get that?! His friends were all looking at him now, so he put on a neutral expression as quickly as he could, he didn’t want to bother them with his problems now that the Boiling Isles were finally at peace. Mostly.
Gus grinned at Darius and nodded his head vigorously, he was always ready to accept more Cosmic Frontier fans into his and Hunter’s unofficial fanclub. He’d already gotten their Flyer Derby friends into it, and even Mattholomule.
Still crazy to think he managed to get like four people into Cosmic Frontier in only three weeks. Smart guy.
“Darius, my friends and I are gonna go watch a movie in the shack if that’s okay? I know I haven’t cleaned the guest room yet even though I told you I’d do it but-“
“Little wolf, it’s completely fine. You go enjoy your time with your friends, you don’t have to clean anything, I got my abominations for that anyway, remember? Your only task in my house is to relax and be a kid. And stop calling it guest room already, it’s your room. Now go, have some fun. If you need me, call me, okay?” Darius interrupted Hunter and ruffled his hair, that was something he’d already gotten used to by now since Darius (after making sure Hunter was okay with it) did it pretty much all the time.
The young boy gave him a smile and resisted the urge to thank him for his kindness. He was such a nice man, he immediately offered to take him in after the battle and gave Hunter everything he needed without asking for anything in return, which was still so new to him considering his past life in the castle. He didn’t feel like he deserved all that Darius and the others gave him, but they were sure he did, and it was no use arguing with Eda, Darius, Camila or any of his friends.
“Welcome to the human realm! Watch your step!” the Collector’s voice announced, causing Hunter to involuntarily flinch, he still hadn’t gotten used to that reverberating sound coming from the portal door whenever someone entered or left the Boiling Isles.
“Didn’t Eda want to get rid of this sound effect?” Amity rolled her eyes jokingly, thankfully not having seen Hunter’s wincing. She was holding her girlfriend’s hand while walking through the portal, deciding to take the lead since Gus and Willow were standing next to Hunter, probably wanting to make sure he would be okay.
Okay yeah, that’s fair I guess. Haven’t really been back here since…since Halloween.
Of course he’d met up with Camila, Luz and Vee in the last three weeks, but he hadn’t been ready to enter the house again yet, because everything, everything reminded him of his time in the human realm and it hurt. It was a beautiful time filled with awesome memories, but everything felt bittersweet now, after what happened. Camila and her daughters understood his feelings completely, so they mostly did things around the city or in the demon realm which was nice, and a good distraction…
“Oh yeah, she did actually. But theeeen she forgot about that hole in the floor and tripped, so I told her to add that sound effect again immediately.” Luz responded as she followed Amity through the portal and into the shack, looking over her shoulder and giving her three friends a worried stare and Hunter nodded quickly to reassure her that everything was okay. But was it really?
That hole…Oh. Flapjack, you little goofball.
“You doing okay? We don’t have to go if you’re not in the mood for it. I’m sure we could do something nice here too…” Willow whispered as she looked up at Hunter worriedly. For some reason, she was always able to notice when he wasn’t feeling well, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
He blinked, staring at her and then nodded again, giving her a small smile. Then he walked through the portal and stared at the room he and his friends had spent so much time in during their stay in the human realm. It seemed that everything was already set up for the movie, the TV stood across from the beanbag and the armchair, snacks like crisps and chocolate were placed on the floor along with sodas and juice.
They’ve been planning this…huh. They wanted to surprise me…Oh.
Hunter kept looking around, staring at all their drawings, scattered clothes and other things that reminded him of their summer. There was one item in particular that caught his attention though…the mirror. The boy hadn’t really paid too much attention to it during the time they had all been stuck in the human realm, but he still remembered the one time he did look at the mirror, into the mirror and really, really looked at his reflection…
“I’m gonna borrow that book when you’re done with it.” Willow winked at Hunter as she said those words, a gentle smile on her face that made the boy’s stomach feel all fluttery and his cheeks turn red. As soon as she left, his smile widened and he took off his costume eye attachment, trying to understand why he was smiling so much. This happened every time Willow talked to him or said something nice…What was going on? He’d found out a lot about love in the last few months, and he’d seen how Luz and Amity were around each other…Did he like Willow the way Luz liked Amity? It was possible. He always blushed when he was around her, she made him laugh a lot and he liked everything about her…her kindness, her smile, her eyes, her determination and so many more things…
“Look, my boy! Look! Boy looks happy! Boy is happy!”
Hunter blinked, ripped out of his thoughts by his palisman’s excited chirping. The red cardinal flew past him to get his attention and hopped over to the mirror in the corner of the shack, turning around to face him again, a warm look in his brown eyes.
The boy stared into the mirror and saw himself. And he realized then that he’d NEVER really looked at his reflection before. Of course he’d looked in the mirror before, but never properly. Now he was seeing everything, he saw how nice he actually looked…his hair looked quite cool slicked back, his tooth gap made his smile look cute and…he realized with a start that he liked who he was looking at. It was him, the person he wanted to be…The person he actually started liking to be.
“You know, maybe you’re right, Flap. Even if I’m not who I’m supposed to be, I like who I am right now.”
Flapjack looked at him and blinked, his eyes were filled with so much love…And Hunter could feel it, he could feel the love and affection his best friend held for him. It spread through his whole body and felt like a breeze of warm wind on a sunny day…Hunter hoped Flapjack could feel his love for him too, because the boy loved no one more than his palisman and he wanted him to know that…He’d helped him so much, he was always there for him and made sure to tell him he loved him everyday. And Hunter happily told him the same, because it was true.
“I love you.”
Hunter slowly walked to the mirror, he kept looking at it, lost in memories of a time before the death of Flapjack. When he was happy, when his palisman would pull on his hair strand or nudge him affectionately or do anything, really…
He blinked and looked at himself, his lips trembling slightly as he noticed how different he looked now compared to how he looked three weeks ago. His hair was long again, and his stupid hair strand was back, his eyes weren’t shining anymore and of course, his whole body was covered in scars now. His eyes were brown instead of pink now, like Flapjack’s…
“I don’t think I like who I am anymore.” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly as his eyes filled with tears. He tried to hold them back, he was usually so good at it, but everything was so overwhelming now. Flapjack didn’t deserve to die, he never deserved it…Hunter didn’t want to lose him that way, he didn’t want to lose him at all! Why did Belos have to take him away from him? What had he ever done to him that made him hate him so much?
I just wanted to be my own person…
“Whoa, Hunter! Hey, hey…” Gus spoke, sounding very concerned as he went to his friend whose eyes were still hooked on the mirror, his shoulders were trembling slightly from the effort of trying not to break down in front of his friends. It was getting harder and harder though, he’d been holding it in for so long…He missed Flapjack. He missed who he was before the possession, he felt awful for letting Belos possess him and hurt Flapjack, he felt guilty for letting his palisman sacrifice himself for someone like him, the person who hurt him in the first place…
“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry.” he croaked, gulping and hugging himself to ground himself a little. Why was it so hard to hide his feelings now? It didn’t use to be…It was like being in this room with his friends was making him more emotional than just being in the demon realm. For, if he thought about it, obvious reasons.
“You want a hug?” Gus asked, because of course he didn’t believe him. His voice was trembling, basically his whole body was, so it was easy to tell he wasn’t doing too well. When he allowed himself to nod slightly, the smaller boy wrapped his arms around the former golden guard and gently squeezed, looking up at him worriedly.
“We know this is hard for you. We’re here for you. You don’t have to hide your feelings.” Willow added, walking to them and joining the hug, making Hunter grimace as a tear rolled down his pale face. She wiped it away carefully and leaned her head on his shoulder, frowning as he sniffled, burying his face in her hair. As Luz and Amity hurried over to him and also joined the hug, Hunter started sobbing quietly, holding onto his friends tightly. His tears were probably soaking some of their clothes, but they didn’t seem to mind at all, they even teared up themselves.
“I miss him. I miss him so much. And I miss who I was before this happened, I just want to go back...” Hunter gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling the hot tears run down his cheeks. Oh, how he wished he could go back in time just to hear Flapjack chirp one more time, or to feel his soft feathers once more, he wanted him back…His life was harder than it used to now, he didn’t have his best friend by his side to give him advice or comfort anymore. From time to time, he’d feel that warm, calming feeling he used to feel whenever he was with the bird, which was most likely due to the fact that Flapjack had fused with him on Halloween, but it still wasn’t like how it used to be. Flapjack WAS there, Hunter could feel it somehow, but it wasn’t the same. He wanted him by his side, like he was supposed to be…
“Hey, you’re still the same guy…You’re still Hunter. Okay? You’re that silly, wolf- obsessed boy who can’t stop talking about cosmic frontier and magic! You’re the guy that makes our group complete. And you’re here with us. Of course you miss Flapjack, it’s unfair that he isn’t here and it hurts to think about him. He was your best friend. But Hunter…You know he’d never want you to be so sad and keep it all in, he’d want you to open up to someone. Be it Eda, Camila, Darius, Luz, Gus, Amity, Vee, me or titan- Tinella Nosa! Your feelings are important to us, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide them from us, it’s okay to talk about how you’re doing. We all care about you so much, and the last thing any of us, including Flapjack, want is for you to bottle everything up until it suffocates you…We wanna help you, but we can’t if you don’t let us try...” Willow whispered, cupping his wet cheek fondly while Gus squeezed his left hand, Luz was rubbing circles on his back and Amity looked at him worriedly. Their caring gazes and gestures made Hunter’s heart ache even more, he sniffled and tried to wipe his tears away so he could look at them properly, but new ones just kept coming without his permission, making his vision blurry once again.
”It’s okay to ask for help…”
”We’re here for you. Always.”
”We love you and we care about you, please don’t feel like you have to hold all your anger and sadness in. You can talk to us.”
Eventually the boy’s knees gave out, he slumped to the ground and covered his face with his hands, and his friends quickly knelt down beside him to keep comforting him, to keep showing him that they were there, that he wasn’t alone in this. And right then and there, after realizing that, Hunter just…let it out. He let out at least some of the emotions he’d tried so hard to hide all these weeks, months, even years. He didn’t try to stifle his sobs and shaking anymore, because, as his friends kept saying, it wasn’t something to be ashamed of, it wasn’t a sign of weakness like his uncl- Belos had always told him, it was a sign of strength. Showing vulnerability to his friends wasn’t cowardly, it was brave and showed them that he trusted them in his vulnerable state.
I’m not alone.
And as he cried, he noticed how good it felt to be surrounded by people who really cared about him and his feelings, and how nice it was to cry openly instead of crying into his pillow or in the shower so no one could hear or see him. He knew first hand what the consequences of crying in front of the Emperor or other headwitches like Terra Snapdragon or Adrian Graye were, his scars and flinching proved that…It felt so good to be comforted now…It helped him calm down.
It took him a while to stop crying and shaking, but when he did, his chest and throat didn’t hurt as badly anymore. He wiped his eyes and sniffled, slowly looking up and starting to stand up again.
“Thanks, guys. I think I needed that. Now, didn’t we want to uh, watch that movie?” Hunter told the others, smiling slightly as he walked over to the beanbag and sat down in it, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes for a moment.
“You sure you’re feeling well enough for the movie? We can watch ‘The good witch Azura’ some other time if you-“ Luz started saying, but was interrupted by Hunter.
“No, I’m feeling a bit better now. And I know movies will cheer me up even more, they can be very fascinating. Most of the time.” the former golden guard objected, he really liked watching things on Luz’s TV. Back when he was still the golden guard, he hadn’t even known what movies and series were, he’d only known books. So when Luz showed him and his friends their human TV, he was shocked to see actual people in that black rectangle thing. Also, he didn’t want to spend any more of his time with them today crying, he wanted to have fun with them now, and they always had fun when they watched TV together. But he knew he shouldn’t keep his feelings in again, it would only cause him and the people around him more trouble and pain…It wasn’t worth it.
Maybe Darius and Camila were right, I should consider therapy…
“Wait a minute! ‘The good witch Azura’? I thought we were watching ‘Cosmic Frontier’! What’s going on?!” Gus gasped, putting his hands on his hips as he looked over at his human friend accusingly.
“Hey, I remember someone mentioning we were gonna watch ‘Bleeding Hearts’!” Willow interjected, causing Amity to cross her arms and huff, “Oh, you’re both just making this up now. I clearly remember us agreeing on ‘The good witch Azura’.”
“Luz likes ‘Bleeding Hearts’ too, though! It’s got action, it's got jokes, it’s got romance, it’s got everything!”
“So does ‘The good witch Azura’! Besides, we all know the ending of ‘Bleeding Hearts’ was utterly terrible, I’ve read better fanfiction endings!”
“Okay guys, this isn’t going anywhere. All these shows and movies are great, but I’ve got a better idea. We all discussed what we wanted to watch, but we never asked Hunter because we wanted to surprise him today. So, how about we let him decide what we’re gonna watch?”, Luz interrupted her friends, smiling enthusiastically as she pointed at the blond boy who blinked in surprise.
“Me?”
“Yeah! I know how much you enjoyed watching TV when we got stuck here. And since the others can’t agree on anything, why not let you choose what we’ll watch? So, what do you say? What do YOU wanna watch, H?”
Hunter looked at Luz for a moment, then at Willow, Gus and Amity who all seemed to like Luz’s suggestion, and a mischievous smile spread across his face as he chuckled, “You brought this on yourself. I wanna watch a wolf documentary.”
“Oh, could’ve guessed you would say that!”
“Sounds good, wolves seem pretty cool!”
“As long as there’s no stupid ending, I’m in.”
“The ending wasn’t THAT bad, it’s got fanfiction or spin-off potential!”
“Well, the creators could at least tell the audience those final words we never got to hear, couldn’t they?”
As Amity, Gus and Willow kept bickering about whether the ending of ‘Bleeding Hearts’ was actually that horrible, Luz helped Hunter pick out a wolf documentary, his eyes shining as he saw how many of them actually existed. There were a lot of them, he couldn’t even count them properly!
I HAVE to show these to Darius someday. He and Eber will LOVE wolves so much!
Eventually, the arguing subsided as the girls noticed the documentary was about to start, Hunter was sitting patiently between his friends, a soft smile on his face as he stared at the thumbnail of the documentary. It showed a white wolf with a nick in one of his fluffy ear, almost like Hunter’s…It was standing in a forest, surrounded by snow and oak trees…and a few birds in the background, the one that caught his eye was a red cardinal sitting in one of the trees staring at the wolf on the ground who was facing the camera, it was a beautiful picture.
“For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” the words on the thumbnail said, they caught Hunter’s eye immediately and made him think a bit. Him and his friends were a group, a family, a pack. He was part of that pack, and Flapjack had been too. Flapjack always would be part of their group, because he was family and family only existed because of the people in it. Every person Hunter loved was part of his ‘pack’, such as Luz, Amity, Willow, Gus, Darius, Camila, Eberwolf, Vee, his friends from school and well, Flapjack. Belos wasn’t his family, because family meant everyone had to put a little effort into making it work, and Belos obviously never even tried to show him real care and affection, because he never loved him. His real family loved him, they all loved each other, they all loved Flapjack too. Because he loved them too, especially Hunter…The bond they shared was stronger than any words could explain, and he could still feel this love, because Flapjack was a part of him, now more than ever…Every single person he knew and loved put effort into their relationship with him and others, and the boy loved them all in their own way, because they were all unique and different, but had similar goals. And one of them was making sure their family was okay, making sure they were all equally cared for.
This is my goal too. I want my friends, my family, to be safe and happy.
“And they want the same for you.” a familiar voice whispered, making Hunter feel warm and safe again. A small smile tugged at his lips as he pressed ‘play’, leaning back with the knowledge that his family was here for him, no matter what. His past would always exist, but he knew now that it didn’t define him, and that he’d always have someone to lean on when he was feeling bad. And that made it all a bit easier.
It’s crazy to think that I only met all these wonderful people because of one small red bird who decided I deserve his love and loyalty. One small red bird who came to my room after meeting me, who stayed with me despite me being so mean to him at first…Oh Flapjack, you knew me better than I knew myself. You still do. But I think you helped me understand myself a lot better too. I love you so much… Thank you for finding me.
The End