Chapter Text
[ Whores ]
Blue: GUYSS…
Blue: yall will not guess who i just caught making out in the third floor bathrooms…
Red: is it finally lisa and jean
Red: or even yae and ei
Blue: ITS NOT.
Lord: well then
Lord: WHO IS IT?
Blue: its so shocking
Blue: YOU GUYS WILL NOT BELIEVE IT
Prince: talk before i leak your secrets to the school
Blue: it was yoimiya and ayaka
Lord: …
Red: BAHAHAHHA
Red: FUCKING FINALLY
Lord: shut it.
Red: omg do you guys hear that
Red: its the sound of someone losing a bet
Red: pay up
Lord: ughh…
Prince: ur both rich whats the point
Blue: their ego ofc
Red: not ego
Red: i run on pure sheer spite
Lord: well i run on ego
Lord: im hot enough for it anyways
Prince: pffft
Prince: aren’t you still pining
Prince: def not hot enough
Red: BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS THO…
Blue: red, my dear
Blue: you’re seductively cute, not hot
Red: same difference
Lord: ur running on some ego too bfr
Red: i run on spite
Prince: and horniness.
Red: …
Red: maybe just a tad bit
Blue: okay then mr i slept with half the school and somehow people dont know
Red: IT IS CERTAINLY NOT HALF THE SCHOOL.
Red: … not yet at least ;)
Lord: screenshotted
Prince: red proving the gc name to be true once again
Red: you all act so innocent as if IM THE ONLY WHORE HERE
Blue: dw babes
Blue: i am a whore first before a good honor student
Red: this is why ur my fav
Red: wlw and mlm solidarity
Lord: booo
Lord: what r me and prince then :(
Red: … my hookups when im sad?
Prince: wow
Prince: this is why ur single
Red: WERE ALL SINGLE.
Red: but at least IM not pining.
Lord: at least we haven’t slept w ppl from the snezhnaya course
Red: ouch
Blue: low blow…
Prince: deserved at this point
Teyvat Academy Spills!
@teyvatxoxo
Inazuma Course student (and Noble) Kamisato Ayaka caught making out with Naganohara Yoimiya in the third floor bathrooms of the Liyue Course. It seems that they have finally confessed their feelings~ XOXO
> Kamisato Ayaka @kamiyaka
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT.
—> Teyvat Academy Spills! @teyvatxoxo
you guys were loud
> Tomato @thethoma
Oh dear…
—> Kamisato Ayaka @kamiyaka
stfu ion wanna hear anything from you
> Lumine @luminesce
IMAGINE BEING EXPOSED BY THE GOSSIP ACCOUNT HELP
—> Kamisato Ayaka @kamiyaka
I HOPE YOU GET POSTED HERE TOO.
Yoimiya
@yoihara
No time like the present ig! Introducing my very beautiful girlfriend @kamiyaka <333
> Kamisato Ayaka @kamiyaka
Love youu <333
—> Yoimiya @yoihara
LOVE U MORE BAE <333
> Funeral Director @hutaoo
Betrayal. Thought we were gonna be single together 4 life </3 (CONGRATS THO BESTIE)
—> Yoimiya @yoihara
skill issue lol (JUST CONFESS TO UR CRUSH ALR WE COULD GO ON DOUBLE DATES)
——> Funeral Director @hutaoo
MF?!? DELETE THAT. AJQGSKSYS WHAT IF SHE FIGURES IT OUT
———> Yoimiya @yoihara
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TELLING AYAKA I LIKED HER (it worked out in the end so ty for that)
————> Funeral Director @hutaoo
cant believe this is the thanks i get :/
> Lumine @luminesce
can’t believe you stole my girl
—> Kamisato Ayaka @kamiyaka
sorry you were just my side chick
——> Yoimiya @yoihara
dw lumine, you’ll find someone,,, maybe BASDHBA
———> Lumine @luminesce
… i will remember this betrayal.
[ Yanfei + Yoimiya ]
Yanfei: who is it.
Yoimiya: ..? who r u asking abt
Yanfei: who does hu tao like
Yoimiya: OH!
Yoimiya: JHAHVSDHAS
Yoimiya: sorry yan, im sworn to secrecy
Yanfei: if you get sued i will not defend you in court.
Yoimiya: WAIT NO YANYAN IM SORRY
[ Kamisato Household ]
Ayato: @Ayaka Congrats sister! I can’t believe you have a girlfriend now =)
Ayato: I remember when you used to be so little and antisocial…
Ayato: And now you just got exposed making out in school… You’ve become such a troublemaker, Haha XD
Ayaka: WTF??
Ayaka: HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?!?
Ayaka: YOU DONT HAVE TWITTER?!?!?
Ayato: @Thoma showed me the posts =D
Ayaka: THOMA. WTF
Thoma: he’s ur older brother, it is my duty to inform him of the important things that happens in ur life
Thoma: that and i thought it would be funny to see how u would react
Ayaka: i hope you get posted on the gossip account too.
Ayato: Do mind your manners, sister. It is not nice to gossip :)
Ayaka: bro.
Ayaka: omfgg…
Ayaka: im done
Thoma: Oh! ur parents wants you both home btw
Thoma: bring ur gf too @Ayaka
Ayaka: HOW FAR DID IT REACH???
Teyvat Academy Official
@teyvatacademyoffical
This is an official statement made by the school principals and we encourage students to not follow or support the account: @teyvatxoxo . The things they post are meaningless gossip and are irrelevant to the school.
If you also have any clues or ideas on who it is please make an official report to any principal or council that could pass on your message.
Thank you.
> Teyvat Academy Spills! @teyvatxoxo
Killjoys :/
[ Whores ]
Lord: you just had to post it didn’t you blue?
Blue: ofc
Blue: it was the best idea ever to run that acc
Red: REAL
Red: also i have something to reporrtt
Prince: ohh. what did you find out
Red: overheard venti and kaeya planning to collaborate w other students to figure out who runs the acc
Red: and lets say the teachers also plan on calling students to try and figure out who it is
Lord: …
Lord: OMG?? IS IT WHAT I THINK IT IS
Lord: R U FR??
Blue: NO WAY.
Blue: R WE GONNA GET TASKED TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS?
Prince: BAHAHAHA
Prince: HELP
Red: were gonna have sm fun
Red: oh, and there goes kaeya and venti trying to recruit people to find out who it is
Blue: do ur best and report it to us red <3
Red: anything for u blue <3
[ Mondstadt Course ]
Kaeya: @everyone YALL WHO WANTS TO HELP ME AND VENTI FIGURE OUT WHO TF RUNS THE DAMN GOSSIP ACC
Amber: I WOULD BE WILLING TO HELP!
Amber: i don’t want anyone’s secrets to be exposed…
Jean: I agree with that statement but…
Jean: I feel as if doing that would just add more fuel to the flame…
Jean: So count me out.
Lisa: count me in sweeties
Lisa: i fear sooner or later ill be on that account
Mona: count me out.
Amber: HUH?? WHY??
Amber: we could really use your astrology for this
Mona: ive been paid hush money ages ago
Mona: im not one to break a promise
Kaeya: what if we pay more than what that person gave…
Mona: could you give me over ten million mora monthly?
Kaeya: WTF.
Kaeya: BUT THAT IS A CLUE SO THANKS
Kaeya: WHOEVER THIS FUCKER IS MUST BE FILTHY RICH.
Venti: yall pls…
Venti: DO YOU GUYS WANT OUR SECRETS TO BE REVEALED??
Bennett: id be willing to help!
Bennett: i am scared my bad luck will interfere tho
Bennett: so im out :(
Lisa: razor says no too…
Albedo: seeing as i am left unaffected by this, i am not helping
Sucrose: yup, i would rather use the time to focus on my studies
Sucrose: i will tell you guys if i hear anything though!
Fischl: Count me out, who knows what shit you guys will end up in…
Venti: boo :((
Venti: well we can still ask the people we know from the other courses
Amber: @Eula do u wanna help us??
Eula: ?
Eula: Ah, sorry. I cannot.
Eula: Will however tell you if I hear anything.
Amber: Okay! Thanks Eula <3
Venti: …
Kaeya: HELP ABSVAKEV
Kaeya: okay,,, who hasnt replied yet
Kaeya: @Diluc @Rosaria YOU FUCKERS WAKE UP
Rosaria: what.
Kaeya: help us pls w catching the gossip acc :”(
Venti: pretty please :’))
Rosaria: why would i?
Teyvat Academy Spills!
@teyvatxoxo
Mondstadt Night-Course student Rosaria caught sneaking out of the Snezhnayan Course dorms this evening with hickeys all over her neck. My, my… how scandalous~ XOXO
> Kaeya Alberich @princeoftheabyss
BAHAHAHHA @shadowknight IS THIS ENOUGH REASON?
—> Rosaria @shadowknight
… whoever fucking runs this account, watch your back.
[ Mondstadt Course ]
Rosaria: IM FUCKING IN
Kaeya: WE GOT HER BOYS!!
Kaeya: now… @Diluc big brotherr
Venti: Diluc!! WAKE UP
Amber: pls @Diluc help us !!!
Jean: He’s been called by the teacher
Jean: Apparently, they also called three other students.
Jean: They’re going to be the ones that officially look for whoever runs the gossip account.
Lisa: why Diluc?
Lisa: he is of course skilled but,
Lisa: shouldn’t you be in charge?
Jean: They chose him as he’s sly, the same probably goes for the other students.
Kaeya: WTF, hes out here stealing what we want to do
Venti: wont stop us, I WILL NOT REST TIL I FIND WHO RUNS THE ACC MYSELF
Rosaria: I am out for blood.
Amber: well if diluc has it handled, we should just leave it to him
Lisa: is this you saying ur out
Amber: …
Amber: no i still really want to find who it is!!
Kaeya: then its settled!
Kaeya: ill also be asking around on who wants to help or whatnot
Jean: I see that there’s no stopping you…
Jean: You might as well also figure out who the other three students are, so that you guys can all help each other.
Lisa: truly so smart
Lisa: will tell kaeya of that fact as he had just run out of the classroom
Lisa: with venti and amber in tow.
Jean: Ah, they are very energetic it seems.
Jean: Keep them safe for me?
Lisa: anything for u dear
Diluc feels his face almost smile and quickly turns off his phone to control the expression on his face, when will Lisa and Jean finally confess to each other he thinks. He patiently waits in the office of the teacher that called him here and is now waiting for the other three students that had been called along with him.
And on cue, Alhaitham, Ayato, and Yelan enter the room, with Alhaitham having a frown on his face while Ayato and Yelan have polite smiles. The teacher accompanying them gestures to sit in the chairs beside Diluc and they take a look at one another before sitting down. The teacher goes behind his desk and sits down as well.
“So, I’m sure you’re all wondering what I’ve called you here for.” The teacher speaks as he looks at them.
“Very much.” Ayato replies with a polite expression on his face. “Have we caused you any trouble, sir?”
“Oh no! In fact, I have called you all here as you guys are very trustworthy students.” He smiled at them, and the four almost grinned at that. “Have you guys heard about the account on twitter spreading gossip?”
“The one that has the user ‘at Teyvat Xoxo’?” Yelan responded as she crossed her leg, seeming more interested in the topic.
“Yes, that.” Their teacher nodded at them. “You guys are tasked to try and find out who it is.”
“Do we get a choice in this matter?” Diluc looked at the teacher dead in the eyes as he asked.
The teacher sighed in response and shook his head. “Sadly no, however due to such a task we have given you, you guys are exempted from this year’s final exams.”
Alhaitham simply hummed and uttered out a response. “Understood.”
“We will work together as a team and try our best, sir.” Ayato smiled kindly at him as he stood up and took a bow, with the other three standing up and following suit. Their teacher had laughed softly and made a comment about how the other students should take after them and let them out of the classroom.
They managed to walk a good distance away from the office and into an empty classroom in which Yelan and Ayato immediately burst out laughing as soon as they entered.
“Oh my fucking god-” Yelan laughed out, clutching at her chest and leaning against the closed classroom door.
Ayato laughed alongside her. “I almost started laughing when he said we were trustworthy students.”
“Can you guys shut it? We want to not get caught here..” Alhaitahm glared at them both, but clearly had a smirk on his face that practically screamed he was feeling the same way they do.
Diluc laughed softly as he leaned against one of the desks. “You have got to admit, it was funny. Imagine asking the people who run the account to hunt down who runs it?”
“Oh god, it was just gold.” Yelan wiped a fake tear away as she steadied herself and stopped laughing.
“Truly, but now however…” Ayato looked at all three of them. “We need a plan to make it clear that we are absolutely not running the account.”
All of them stayed silent before Yelan had a glint in her eyes, the others immediately noticing.
“... What is it, Yelan? What’s your idea?” Alhaitham sighed internally as he asked, let this be not the worst idea ever.
“Okay, so we’re going to need to expose ourselves…”
Teyvat Academy Spills!
@teyvatxoxo
Rumors say that there are four little foxies trying to catch me, and I’m not one to be petty but I feel as if I should let them know who they’re dealing with. So I did a little digging, and my dear the things I found…
Mondstadt Course and Heir to Dawn Winery, Diluc Ragnvidnr has history with a ton of Snezhnaya students… Wonder what’s that about? It appears that Liyue Course Yelan specifically had history with Pantalone having stolen one of his jackets.
And of course we can’t forget about The Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham and Heir to the Kamisato Clan Ayato. Whoever has their eyes set on those two can give up, for they are fools in love~
XOXO, Maybe this time you’ll learn to leave me be ;)
> Diluc Ragnvindr @thedarkknight
If I had no motivation in trying to find you before I certainly do now.
—> Yelan @yanshang
I second that. Whoever you are, we will find you.
> Kaeya Alberich @princeoftheabyss
WAIT WHAT? WHAT HISTORY?
> Kamisato Ayaka @kamiyaka
IF MY BROTHER IS PINING YOU MAY AS WELL POST THE NAME TOO!
—> Teyvat Academy Spills! @teyvatxoxo
But where’s the fun in that :(